Dissect - S1E8 – u by Kendrick Lamar

Episode Date: October 4, 2016

We continue our serialized analysis of Kendrick Lamar's To Pimp a Butterfly by dissecting "u." Follow Dissect on social media @dissectpodcast. Purchase Dissect merch at dissectpodcast.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to Dissect, long-form musical analysis broken into short, digestible episodes. I'm your host, Cole Kushner. Today, we continue our serialized examination of Topimp a Butterfly by Kendrick Lamar. We're currently in the midst of the album's second act, which we've titled Coon, and displays the various ways Kendrick is confined as he attempts to balance his Compton mentality with his new life of fame. On institutionalized, we saw how systemic racism breeds an institutionalized mind state, which manifested in Kendrick's friend's desire to rob at the BET Awards. On these walls, Kendrick misused his influence to get revenge on an in-prisoned competent enemy

by having sex with the mother of his child, who was lonely and vulnerable. At the conclusion of these walls, the narrative poem returned, revealing three new lines. I remember you was conflicted, misusing your influence. Sometimes I did the same. Abusing my power full of resentment. resentment that turned into a deep depression found myself screaming in the hotel room The new poetic material begins with the line

Abusing My Power full of resentment Here, Kendrick is commenting on his actions on these walls The resentment in his heart was bred by a gang mentality acquired through his Compton upbringing It led him to use this newfound fame to partake in a vengeful act of fornication Kendrick continues the poem saying resentment that turned into a deep depression.

Kendrick's actions have backfired. Rather than make him feel good, he finds himself ashamed and depressed. The next line, found myself screaming in a hotel room, quite literally sets the stage for the album's next song, and the subject of today's episode, You. You're the reason why mama and I'm leaving.

No, you ain't shit. You say you love him. I know you don't mean it. I know you irresponsible, selfish. You deny you can't help in your trials and tribulations of burden Everyone felt it Everyone heard it

Multiple shots, corners Crying now you were deserted Where was your antennas again? Where was your presence? Where was your support that you pretend? You ain't no brother, you ain't no disciple You ain't no friend A free-neverly confident for profit

Or leave his best friend, Lord brother, you promised you watch you. You is an agonizing, brutally honest drunken confession That sees Kendrick attempting to reconcile His past with his present. Whereas these walls spoke of the wall, of a woman in a prison cell, Yu takes place within the walls of a hotel room and the walls

of his own mind. Kendrick will scream at himself while standing in front of a mirror, expressing again the duality theme so prevalent throughout the album. Kendrick's internal thoughts are at conflict with his external behavior. Yu represents the album's emotional rock bottom, a powerful confession of his private insecurities, frustrations, and suicidal thoughts. I've pulled with that song not only from previous experiences, but I think my whole life, I think everything is drawn out of that, even situations from good kid, Matt City. So it's even pulling from those experiences of coming up in confidence,

pulling with the experience of going through change and accepting change. That's the hardest thing for man, accepted change. And when I was on that tour bus and things is happening back home in my city or in my family that I can't do nothing about it's out of my control I don't can put it in God's hands I couldn't understand that

and that can draw a thin line you know between you having your sanity and you losing it and this is how artists deteriorate if you don't catch yourself so with these things happen my release therapy is writing the music and this was one of the records that came about

and I said I said to myself I couldn't have this album without this record. The song is inspired by an actual event in a hotel room in Atlanta while touring with Kanye West in 2013. Regarding you, Kendrick told the Guardian

quote, It was something that just accumulated. You know when you get bad news after bad news after bad news and you can't express this to nobody but you got to relive it in some type of way? I was able to bottle that moment and put it on record. Kendrick says bad news three times for a reason. three of his close friends in Compton, Braise, Chad Keaton, and Big Pup,

were killed in one summer while Kendrick was on tour. Of course, these killings had a devastating effect on Kendrick, amplified by his distance from them while being on tour. You know, I got to get off stage and almost face the madness and get these cars. You feel me? Like, it's real, man. Three of my homeboys, that summertime was murdered. You know, close ones too, not just somebody that I hear about.

These are people I grow with. So it all psychologically, it messes your brain up because you live in this life. You know what I'm saying? But you still have to face realities of this. I got to get back off that tour bus and go to these funerals, you know, and go talk to my moms and talk to their aunties, the kids that, you know, lost their lives. Similar to you, Kendrick spoke of these deaths and the use of alcohol as self-medication on Compton Native YG's song, Really Be Smoking and Drinking.

On first listen, Really Be might seem like another song glorifying drugs and alcohol. But upon closer inspection, you realize YG and Kendrick both speak on these vices as a coping mechanism for their troubled emotions of anger, frustration, and sorrow. As we listen, pay attention to the inflection in Kendrick's voice. It's a similar desperation and despair we'll hear later on you. I'm on this tour bus and I'm fucked up I got a bad car They killed Braes, they kill Chad, my beer call me pup Puppy eyes on my face brunt and I really been drinking

What the fuck I really been smoking Motherfuck I'm the sober one But I'm so stressed out I can't focus Hide out when I ride out Ski match with the eyes out Speed pass and a cut let's me a little Ocho And my young nigga hop out Two tears in a bucket I feel like fuck

At the price of fame, recognize my pain It's all I know all I woe but I'm out here though Call my truth like Vime and nose I'm on this tour bus and I'm fucked up I got a bad call and it's all bad off OG with my OG and some OE by the dog club. The sentiments of Kendrick's verse on Reallyb are reflected in U. You is fittingly split into two parts, pieced together by a skit. The track begins with an agonizing scream.

Beneath the screams we hear saxophone flourishes by Kamasi Washington and guitar pickings by Marlon Williams. Kendrick was asked about this specific moment of the song and the feelings behind the outbursts. The feeling was missing home. The feeling was I should be with my family right now when they're going through hardships with the loss of my daily friends that's constantly passing while I'm out on this road. The feeling was how my influence and so many people on this stage rather than influencing

the ones that I have back home. That's the feeling. Being inside the hotel room and these thoughts are just pondering back and forth while I look at this ceiling all night. The screams are followed by the kids. the song's refrain, a single line repeated schizophrenically. Remember just two songs prior, Kendrick was claiming himself king on the album's boastful King Kunta. On You, we're beginning to see the complications and fragility of Kendrick's self-worth.

Also, the line, Loving You Is Complicated, brings us yet again to Tupac Shakur. You notice how we keep running into him? Yeah, that's not a coincidence. In a book of poems published after his death called The Rose That Grew from Concrete, there's a poem called Love is Just Complicated. In it, Tupac shares his internal thoughts and confusion about love. It's unclear if Kendrick was familiar with this poem, but it's highly likely. Verse 1 takes place within the walls of Kendrick's mind.

The voice in his head unloads a barrage of negative thoughts, pointing out the hypocrisy of claiming himself a leader while failing to influence the closest people in his life, his friends and family back in Compton. I place blame when you steal, place shame when you still, feel like you ain't shit, feel like you ain't shit, feel like you. don't feel confidence in yourself breaking no marble floors watching anonymous strangers telling me that I'm yours but you ain't shit I'm confidential talorice nothing special what can I blame you for

nigger how can him several situation I start with your little sister baking a baby aside just a teenage and where your patience what was your antennas what was the influence you speak of you breached in front of one hundred thousand but never reached her I fucking tell you fucking failure you ain't no leader the verse begins I place blame on you still place shame on you still there's emphasis on the word still, alluding that Kendrick has felt this way before fame, and now that he's successful, those feelings are still alive and present. Fame is neither a clean slate nor a free pass. Next, Kendrick says, feel like you don't feel confidence in yourself, breaking on marble floors, watching anonymous strangers tell me that I'm yours. Of course, marble floors are representative of

wealth, which is only amplifying the worst in Kendrick and breaking his confidence. The anonymous strangers are his avid fans who confess their dedication to him, which leaves Kendrick feeling insecure. Next, Kendrick references his little sister and her teenage pregnancy with the lines, I'll start with your little sister baking, a baby inside just a teenager, where your patience. Where was your antennas? Where was the influence you speak of? You preach in front of a hundred thousand, but never reached her. Kendrick is addressing the hypocrisy of claiming to be a leader to a worldwide fan base, yet failing to be an influence to his own family, specifically his teenage sister who got pregnant while Kendrick was off on tour.

From my sister to my little cousins and to other other siblings around me that's coming up, how can I be a voice for all these people around the world and can't reach them like I want to? And they're the closest to me. That's a trip. That's truly a trip to me. And everybody go through trials and tribulations and make mistakes. But for me personally, somebody else's mistake, I tend to fault myself. The verse continues with a series of increasingly aggressive attacks on his self-worth. You preached in front of 100,000 but never reached her. I fucking tell you, fucking failure.

You ain't no leader. I never liked you forever despise you. The world don't need you. Don't let them deceive you. Numbers lie do. Fuck your pride do. That's what dedication. Thought money will change you, made you more complacent.

Fucking hate you. I hope you embrace it. I swear loving you is complicated. Loving you is complicated. Loving you is complicated. Loving you is complicated. Kendrick calls himself a failure, questions his leadership,

and aggressively mocks himself. He states, The world don't need you, don't let them deceive you. Numbers lie too. The numbers are referential to the platinum status of this previous album, Good Kid Mad City.

Despite a dedicated following, Kendrick believes himself an accessory, an unnecessary entertainer, without whom the world would get along just fine. The next line, thought money would change you, made you more complacent, acknowledges the backfire effects of success. As we heard in the album's opener Wesley's series, a young Kendrick saw wealth as a means to a glorified end. Instead, money has dawned Kendrick with immobility, a complacency that's rendered him unable to help the people he's closest to, like his little sister.

The verse comes to a dramatic close and leads into the repetition of the song's refrain, followed by a bridge. The bridge begins with Kendrick shouting, Loving you, loving you, not loving you, 100 proof. His emotional state is unstable, and 100 proof, referring to the alcohol content of a strong liquor, signals his decision to drink his pain away, something that will become evident on verse 2 and 3. The bridge in spirals out of control,

reaching a distorted climax that resolves into part 2 of you, with production by Sacramento native Who Are I? The smoke clears and a hazy voice pans from left to right singing the line, Loving You ain't complicated, What I got to do to get to you. Beneath this, we hear a Spanish-speaking housekeeper knocking on the door of Kendrick's hotel room. The reason why mom and I'm leaving. No, you ain't shit.

You say you love them. I know you don't mean it. I know you irresponsible, selfish. You deny you can't help it. Your trials and tribulations are burdened. Everyone felt it. Everyone heard it. The Spanish roughly translates to open the door, open the door.

I have to clean the room. There isn't much time. I have to clean the room. Sorry. This confirms that Kendrick is indeed in a hotel room, as the narrative poem alluded to in the song's introduction. A weighty, slumping melody. melancholy beat erupts and Kendrick enters the track once again.

The inebriated delivery of the verse confirms his turn to the aforementioned 100-proof bottle of alcohol. While we heard a similar vocal inflection in Kendrick's appearance on YG's 2014 track Really Be, The technique can be traced as far back as 2012 with the track His Pain by BJ the Chicago Kid, on which Kendrick is featured. He tells the story of an unnamed character and the tragic circumstances of his life. Yesterday my nigger had told me his brother died. A day before that his homeless uncle was cold outside. A week before he seen the cancer in his mother's eyes.

Two weeks before that can pay his ring because he lost his job. A month before that he lost the custody of his daughter. Six months before that her mother's, said she won't see her father. And this before he did a year when them charges was brought up. I shook my head, turned around, and found $100. I don't know why he keeps blessing me. I don't know why he keeps blessing me.

I don't know why he keeps blessing me. I don't know why he keeps blessing. Of course, the inflection here is much more tamed. On you, Kendrick has hit rock bottom, and the alcohol in his system allows his emotions to pour out unfiltered. The verse begins with Kendrick staring in the mirror, berating himself with a flurry of scathing insults and faulting himself for the mistakes of others.

He says, you ain't shit, you say you love them, I know you don't mean it. I know you're irresponsible, selfish, in denial, can't help it. He's doubting his own love for his family. He can say he loves them all he wants, but he believes being away on tour and not present in their lives is contradictory. This sentiment continues with the next lines, multiple shots, corners crying out, you is deserted. Where was your antennas again? Where was your presence? Where was your support that you pretend?

Again, Kendrick points out the hypocrisy of speaking for the streets of Compton while not being present when his hometown friends are dying. As the verse continues, Kendrick gets more specific about the tragedies occurring back at home in Compton. You ain't no friend. A free never Lee Compton for profit or leave his best friend, little brother, you promised you watch them before these shot well, which you ain't tennis. On a roll bottles and bitches, you FaceTime the one time that's unforgiven.

You even FaceTime. The second half a hospital visit, guess you thought he'll recover well. Third surgery, they couldn't stop the bleeding for real. Then he died, guide himself and say you fucking failed. You ain't tried. The second half of the verse talks specifically about Kendrick's friend Chad, who was shot while Kendrick was on tour overseas in 2013. A friend never leave Compton for profit, Kendrick says,

or leave his best friend little brother, you promise you'd watch him before they shot him. Kendrick closes out the verse saying, You even FaceTimed instead of a hospital visit. Guess you thought he'd recover well. Third surgery, they couldn't stop the bleeding for real. Then he died, God himself will say you fucking failed. You ain't tried. Kendrick failed to visit Chad in the hospital, believing he'd be okay.

Unfortunately, Chad dies during his third surgery. Choosing to remain on tour and FaceTime rather than visit Chad in the hospital, has Kendrick guilt-ridden and feeling like a failure. Chad Keaton, he was like my little brother. We grew up in the same community. I was actually best friends with his older brother, which is incarcerated right now. And him just always telling me to make sure that, you know,

Chad is on the right path. You know, and he was on the right path. But, you know, things happen where, you know, sometimes the good are in the wrong places, and that's exactly what happened. What happened to her? He got shot. You continues with a much-needed respite in the form of a somber musical interlude, followed by verse 3.

If you listen very carefully during the interlude, you can hear Kendrick sniffling and sobbing, which I always mistakenly thought was the percussion instrument until just now when editing this analysis. You ain't tried. It's nigger. Moose swings is frequent, nigger. I know depression is resting on your heart for two reasons, nigger. I know you and a couple black boys ain't been speaking, nigger. Y'all damn their beefing I see it and you're the y'all.

The reason, nigga, and if this bottle could talk, I cry myself to sleep, bitch, everything is you far. Farts break into pieces. Earthquakes so nephew wicked because you shook as soon as you knew confinement was needed. I know you see. Verse three finds Kendrick increasingly belligerent. With the opening line, I know your secrets, his own drunken conscious is holding Kendrick hostage.

He reveals mood swings and deep depression. Next comes the lines, I know you and a couple Block Boys ain't speaking, y'all damn near Beefin. I seen it and you're the reason. Kendrick is still feuding with rivals in Compton despite his success and escape. Kendrick is haunted by the hypocrisy of attempting to uplift Compton while still involved in the negative activities that contributes to its demise. The album's previous song These Walls, which featured the refrain, if these walls can talk, is alluded to in the next lines,

and if this bottle can talk, I cry myself to sleep, bitch everything your fault. Kendrick could be commenting on the situation explained in these walls, where he uses influence to take revenge on an imprisoned Compton rival by sleeping with the mother of the prisoner's child. Regardless of the specific situation, Kendrick continues to reveal the extremities of his guilt and depression. He says, I know your secrets, don't let me tell them to the world about that shit you think in, and that time.

This line, which seems to be headed towards a grand reveal, is interrupted by a big gulp of alcohol. It seems there's not enough liquor in the world that can unbury Kendrick's deepest secrets. Things get especially dark as the verse heads towards its conclusion. Kendrick says, you just can't get right, I think your heart made a bulletproof. Should have killed your ass a long time ago. You should have filled that black revolver blast a long time ago. These suicidal thoughts are Kendrick at his most vulnerable.

He refers to his heart as bulletproof, and rather than a praise of strength, it's one of malice. It means that his threshold for selfishness is too high, that if he wasn't so heartless, his behavior would have led him to suicide long ago. Again, Kendrick is haunted by the actions of his past, as far back as his teenage years as he said in the interview clip we heard earlier. The song closes with another reference to Kendrick's secrets. And if I told your secrets, the world will know money can't stop a suicide or weakness. And if I told your secrets, the world will know money can't stop a suicidal weakness. This closing line encapsulates the sentiments of you. For all of Kendrick's success, it hasn't changed him. It may have dawned him with money, influence, and celebrity,

but internally, Kendrick is struggling more than ever, to the point of suicide. Conclusions. Before you, Kendrick on Tipipa Butterfly had been primarily looking outward. On Wesley's theory, he lusted after success through music. On for free, he outwardly railed against Uncle Sam. On King Kunta, he boasted to his competent enemies about his success. With the introduction of the narrative poem, we heard glimpses of introspection on institutionalized in these walls. But Yu represents a total 180, a man whose internal turmoil can no longer be repressed. In the XXL article, Writer at War by Lamar himself, Kendrick wrote, I found out a lot about myself in these past two years. It's scary. I know more

about myself now than any other point in my life. I believe in this theory that when you get success and you get fame and money, it makes U-B-U times 10. I always thought confirmation would be having a lot of money and the things I can do for my family, because that was what we was taught when we come from these urban neighborhoods. You was taught that having money was success, then that's all you see, all you know. So once I got the money and everything else that comes with it, I felt like I wasn't satisfied. Triggered by the killings of three of his friends in one summer and his little sister's teenage pregnancy, Kendrick struggles severely with the contrast between his life on and off stage.

What he believed a success has proved to be a ruse, a fictitious childhood fantasy. Rather than bringing him satisfaction is exposed his vulnerabilities exponentially, brought to the surface repressed feelings about his past, and instilled a deep sense of survival's guilt as an escapee of Compton. He's sunken into a fit of manic depression. His attempt to numb the pain with alcohol only exasperated the issues and prompted a drunken confession. In the context of the album's narrative, U is an access point. After a song with so much vulnerability, honesty, self-analysis, and pain,

Kendrick will begin searching for answers as the album progresses. He's realized the success that he once believed would unlock the world's treasures and bringing him satisfaction as backfired. after hitting rock bottom there's only one way but up and Kendrick will begin anew searching for meeting and purpose remember we're not yet halfway through the album and Kendrick has a ways to go you signals the end of act two of to pimp a butterfly which we've named cocooned we've explored the various ways Kendrick is constricted as he attempts to balance his Compton upbringing with his new life outside of Compton we saw these constraints manifest in various ways from the effects of systemic

racism uninstitutionalized, from his own selfishness on these walls, and from vices and manic depression on you. On the album's next song, we'll begin Act 3 of Tipa Butterfly, which I've titled Emerging Wings. After hitting rock bottom on you, we will follow Kendrick as he attempts to emerge from the cocoon of his institutionalized upbringing. Kendrick's first order of business will be to announce the defeat of Uncle Sam, which you'll do on the album's next track all right. Unfortunately, sin comes in many guises, and Kendrick is not yet free from the temptations of evil entirely. Kendrick will meet a new incarnation of sin, one that sounds a lot like Uncle Sam. Her name is Lucy, short for Lucifer, and she meets Kendrick the morning after you on the album's next track, all right, which will explore in its entirety next time on Dissect.

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