Dissect - S2E13 – Hell of a Life by Kanye West

Episode Date: November 7, 2017

We continue our serialized analysis of Kanye West’s My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy by dissecting "Hell Of A Life." Follow Dissect on social media @dissectpodcast. Purchase Dissect merch at dis...sectpodcast.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey everyone. As we approach to end of season two, I'd love to feature your voice on the upcoming finale episode. If you're interested in being featured, just follow these steps. First, formulate your thoughts on Kanye West. They can be about twisted fantasy, what you learn from season two, a certain song that affected you, or just your thoughts on Kanye in general. The floor is yours. I know it's a big subject, but condense your thoughts into 30 to 40 seconds of audio. I suggest writing your thoughts down. You can say a lot in 30. seconds, you just have to be organized. Also, feel free to state your first name and where you're from. Next, use your cell phone to record yourself. Once recorded, send your clip to dissect podcast at gmail.com. Entitle your email, Season 2 audio clip. Again, send your 30 to 40 second audio clip to Dissect podcast at Gmail.com. Finally, many of you have been asking about the
Starting point is 00:00:54 availability of the Dysect Season 1 Kickstarter book, The Black or the Berry. For limited time, you can now order that book at blackerberry dash book.com. And if you have no idea what I'm talking about, this book visualizes the historical and social context of Kendrick Lamar song The Blacker the Barry. I wrote the text and graphic designer Hannah Sellers created beautiful collages to accompany the text. It's really quite gorgeous. Again, you can order yours at blackerberry dashbook.com. I also have links on my social media at Dissect Podcast if that's easier. Okay, thanks for your time. Here's today's show. Welcome to Dysect, long-form musical analysis broken into short digestible episodes.
Starting point is 00:01:37 I'm your host, Cole Kushner. Today, we continue our serialized examination of my beautiful dark-twisted fantasy by Kanye West. On our last two episodes, we dissected the album's emotional nine-minute centerpiece runaway, bringing us to the end of Act 2, titled Dark. After the imagined suicide that ends power and the funereal interlude of all the lights, Kanye wanders through the various facets of his psyche, in search of identity and companionship. He embraced the villain role on Monster,
Starting point is 00:02:15 realized the ridiculousness and somewhat loneliness of celebrity life on so appalled, and search unsuccessfully for intimacy on devil in a new dress. On Runaway, we found Kanye is most vulnerable, acknowledging for the first time his imperfections, an inability to love or be loved. The three-minute solo that ends Runaway is my beautiful dark-twisted fantasy's grand moment of catharsis, a man desperately struggling to find his own voice,
Starting point is 00:02:40 attempting to break through the distortion of his own inadequacies, abstractly expressing all the feelings he's incapable of articulating with words. In a typical literary narrative, this kind of cathartic outpouring of emotion is usually followed by a liberating action, defining revelation or newfound clarity in the protagonist. On Twisted Fantasy, this happens, kind of. Whereas a traditional story tends to lead towards resolution
Starting point is 00:03:05 or a quote-unquote happy ending, Twisted fantasy just gets more, well, dark and twisted. Indeed, Connie's emotional liberation allows him to freely express the darkest recesses of his psyche on the album's next track, the first song of Act 3, and the subject of today's episode, Hell of a Life. Hell of a Life is produced by Kanye West, with additional production by Mike Dean, No ID, and Mike Karen. The song's production revolves around a sample, from the Mojo Men's 1966 performance of She's My Baby.
Starting point is 00:04:11 This sample is slowed down slightly and becomes a foundation for Hell of a Life. Drums are then looped beneath this synth, sample from Tony Joe White's 1970 song Stud Spider. The opening measure of this piece is chopped in looped to create this pattern. And with that, we get something pretty close to the drums on Hell of a Life. For a song with so much energy and driving impetus, the production is actually quite minimal. It's terse simplicity made affected by the tight, pristine tonal quality of the synth and drums. And before we get too far into our analysis of a hell of a life, it's important that we back up just momentarily to the end of the album's
Starting point is 00:05:03 previous song, Runaway. There's a very interesting, and by interesting, I mean brilliant, connection between Runaway and Hell of a Life. Let's get the end of Runaway in our ears, then we'll talk about it. Runaway ends with Kanye's voice turned guitar resolving down to an E. That's nothing out of the ordinary. The song is in the key of E major, so ending on a E is a very standard traditional resolution. Now let's hear Hell of a Life's opening synth riff. Doesn't this sense sound pretty similar to Connie's voice at the end of Runaway? Let's listen to the two back to back. The two sound pretty similar, right? Things get even more interesting when we consider the interval between the concluding note of Runaway and the opening note of Hell of a Life. In music,
Starting point is 00:06:03 an interval is the distance between two notes. We typically talk about intervals within their respective key signatures. For the sake of this example, we'll position ourselves in A major. If our two notes are three notes apart, A to C, we call it a third. If they're five notes apart, A to E, we call it a fifth, and so on. Like I mentioned, runaway ends on an E, and how the life begins on a B flat. Let's hear the two back to back. Sounds kind of spooky, right? This notoriously dissonant interval is called a tritone. The tritone has a long-storied history. It was frequently avoided in medieval music because of its dissonant quality. By the 18th century, it was said to be banned from use by some religious authorities. It became known as Diablus and Musica, which translates to
Starting point is 00:07:05 devil and music. Devil, you know, like hell, like hell of a life. The ending note of runaway and the opening note of hell of a life exploit this tritone, this devil and music, to great effect, sinister transformational rope swing from the elegance and vulnerability of Runaway to the sinful aggressiveness of Hell of a Life. With the tone of Kanye's voice on Runaway and the synth on hell of a life being so similar, it's hard not to speculate that this transition and its use of the tritone was a conscious calculation. We've come across too many details like this on Twisted Fantasy for them to be mere coincidence, especially when we consider Kanye's obsessive, detail-oriented approach in the studio, as well as his team's high level of musicianship. And we've
Starting point is 00:07:47 Before we dive into hell of a lice lyrical content, which centers around Kanye falling in love with the porn star, there's just one more thing we need to address, Kanye's porn addiction. Kanye's interest in porn is pretty well documented, with Connie himself admitting, quote, My only drug is porn, I have porn with me all the time, unquote. And it seems as porn addiction is a manifestation of his sexual addiction, which he's also on record saying he struggles with. Quote, I think I might have a problem, a sexual addiction, lest is part. of the reason I've been out of relationships. I just want to do it all the time, all the time,
Starting point is 00:08:23 like four times a night, and then in the morning. Those addictions and afflictions are what make me a great artist. My biggest problem is lust, looking at girls with big booties, unquote. Indeed, Connie would go on to create Yeez-Sys and the life of Pablo, albums that in many ways center around Kanye's struggle to both find and commit to emotional love in the face of perpetual lust and temptation. On the latter half of twisted fantasy, we're We're getting a similar mini-narrative with devil in a new dress, runaway, hell of a life, and next blame game. Kanye seems to be searching for meaning, for intimacy and authenticity.
Starting point is 00:08:58 That authenticity takes form as woman, as love, and we're privy to the prismatic display of the emotional peaks and valleys of Connie's psyche as he tries to figure himself out. Of course, Connie's struggle with love and lust is also an expression of good versus evil, angel versus devil, a dichotomy we've seen reappear throughout the entire album. After the angelic purity of runaway, Connie enters hell of a life on what seems to be the other side of the thematic universe with his performance of verse 1. Connie Be It Just Fell In Love With a Porn Star Torn The Camera on, she a born star Torni
Starting point is 00:09:35 Connie begins In a cornice to the Cpia She gave that old nigger Osa Bittersweet taste made his go too late Un Make a knee shake Make a priest faint Unm
Starting point is 00:09:48 Connie begins verse 1 I think I just fell in love With a Porn Star It's the third song in a row In which Connie seems to be searching For some kind of emotional connection with a woman On devil in a new dress, he yearned for his sensation. On Runaway, he addressed a quote-unquote good girl.
Starting point is 00:10:04 And here on hell of a life, his attention turns towards a porn star. Indeed, the opening line has shock value, but it also sets up the complexity of the song's thematic through line. Typically, we lust after porn stars. Rarely do we fall in love with them. After the rejection of his sensation on devil in a new dress and the self-rejection of Runaway, It would seem that the lonely and emotional estranged Kanye has grown desperate in his pursuit of quote-unquote love. But as we'll see, that perception will change by the song's end.
Starting point is 00:10:34 Connie continues the verse, turn the camera on she had born star, turn the coroners in a foreign car, call the coroners do the CPR. She gave that old N.ward an ulcer. Her bittersweet taste made his gold teeth ache. In just five lines, Connie creates an impressionistic narrative that makes clear we've entered some unnamed recess of his fantastical imagination. The picture he paints as a porn star involved with an older man, who seems to be quite wealthy, signified by his gold teeth and foreign car. The old man dies from an ulcer given to him by the porn star, perhaps a metaphor for her being bad for his health. Connie continues the verse with a series of sacrilegious lines that extend all the way to the verse's end. Kanye says,
Starting point is 00:11:25 Like we want a sweet steak. We headed to hell for heaven stakes, huh? Well, I'm a levitate. Make the devil wait, yeah. Kahnie says, Make her knees shake. Make a priest faint. Make a nun come, make her cremate.
Starting point is 00:11:39 It's a virtuosic series of lines. First we have, Make her knee shake, alluding to praying on one's knees, and the convulsions one has during an orgasm. Make a priest faint continues the religious imagery, as the priest is likely to faint from the vulgarity of the line, or how good the sex is. We also imagine faint as in faint in color,
Starting point is 00:11:59 alluding to the priest turning pale during sex. Next, Connie flips it female, saying, make a nun come, make her cremate. Again, we have double meaning with cremate, one being cream as an orgasm, and the other being cremate as in the ashes after one's death, both apparently due to how good the sex is. The clever wordplay continues here with the line, move downtown Coppa sweet space. Here Connie pulls off a triple entendre. First, we move downtown as in moving into a new expensive crib or sweet space. Secondly, we have cop, as in police officer, going downtown to the city jail. Of course, the third meeting is most obvious, going downtown as in going down on someone,
Starting point is 00:12:39 the sweet space being their genitalia. Connie ends his verse acknowledging the recklessness of his fantasies, saying, Living Life Like We Won the Sweepstakes, we headed to hell for Heaven's Sakes. while I'm a levitate make the devil wait. It's a well-executed punctuation that cements the verse's religious overtones and Kanye's risque juxtapositions of heaven and hell, sacred and sin. The last line is especially nice, as Kanye claims he'll temporarily escape the grasp of the devil by levitating,
Starting point is 00:13:08 perhaps alluding to the ascension Jesus took after the crucifixion. Along with the verse's double and triple meanings, there's also some virtuosic double rhyme schemes established throughout. For much of the verse, Kanye splits each bar in half, and he'll rhyme the middle of one line with the middle of the next line, while also rhyming the last word of those same lines as well. For instance, he says, turn the camera on, she a Bourne Star, turn the coroners in a foreign car, call the coroners do the CPR. Here are the middle words, camera on, corners, coroners, all rhyme, while the ending words,
Starting point is 00:13:41 Born Star, Foreign Car, and CPR all rhyme as well. Later in the verse, the middle words start to rhyme with each other within the same line, as he says, Old, Ulcer, Sweet Taste, Teethake, Knee Shake, Priest Faint, None Come, Downtown, Levitate, Wait. This first verse of Hell of a Life is really quite masterful. It's extremely intricate and tightly executed, all displaying the dark recesses of Connie's twisted fantasies. Hell of a Life continues with the first performance of its hook. The melody No more drugs for me
Starting point is 00:14:18 Pussy and religion is all I need. The melody Kanye sings on the hook interpolates the 1971 song Iron Man by Black Sabbath. Kanye borrows both the melody and opening line of Iron Man for Hell of a Life's hook. Connie sings, have you lost your mind? Tell me when you think we cross the line. After lines about priests and nuns forticating with a porn star,
Starting point is 00:15:02 it's hard not to think Kanye's being self-referential. to his own explicit first verse. The hook continues, No more drugs for me, Pussy and religion is all I need. Of course, verse one is filled almost exclusively with talk of sex and religion, albeit very non-traditional religion.
Starting point is 00:15:19 Stating that he doesn't need drugs, it seemed Connie is using drugs as a metaphor for a clouded reality, and perhaps a play off the phrase, Love is a drug. Now that he's found clarity in sex, and through sex has found a religion that allows him to express his innermost sexual fantasies
Starting point is 00:15:34 without fear or judgment, Connie doesn't need drugs, doesn't need the traditional love he sought on devil in a new dress and runaway. The hook concludes, grab my hand, and baby will live a hell of a life. While on the surface it would seem to be a romantic image, the phrase hell of a life is a triple entendre. The traditional meaning of hell of a life is exciting, full of adventure, which is clearly the surface meaning in the context of the song this far. But hell of a life can also mean a hell or shit life, one devoid a meaning and authenticity. Finally, hell of a life can mean a sinful life, one fueled by lust and temptation. By the song's end, we'll hear all three of these hell of a life interpretations manifested.
Starting point is 00:16:16 After the performance of the song's hook, verse 2 begins. Never in your wildest dreams. Never in your wildest dreams. In your wildest, you hear the loudest screams coming from inside the screen. You a wild bitch. Kada do to be that guy, set a price go down, gee up a fuck a black guy, or do anal, or do a gang bang. It's kind of crazy that's all for sitting the same thing. Well, I guess a lot of niggins do gang bang.
Starting point is 00:16:45 And if we run trains, we all in the same gang, runaway slaves all on a chain game. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Connie opens verse to half singing, never in your wildest dreams, never in your wildest dreams, in your wildest. This would seem to reference the 1996 Tina Turner and Barry White classic Wildest Dreams, itself a song about lust after the sun goes down. Connie alters this quote of the Tina Turner song, as it continues the verse,
Starting point is 00:17:32 Never in your Wildest Dreams in Your Wildest, you can hear the loudest screams coming from inside the screen, you a wild bitch. It would seem Connie is addressing the porn star he's watching on a television or computer screen, confirmed by the next line, tell me what I got to do to be that guy, who we've presumed to be the male porn star currently having sex with a screaming female. Things take an unexpected turn as Connie responds to his own question, saying,
Starting point is 00:17:57 she set her price go down if she ever fuck a black guy, or do anal or do a gang bang. It's kind of crazy that's all considered the same thing. Connie's alluding to the well-documented racism in the porn industry, specifically that many women in porn often charge twice as much or more to do a scene with a black man. Connie draws parallels between this fee increase, and the increases to do more extreme sexual acts like anal or having sex with multiple men at a time. The porn industry standard for these extra fees would seem to equate being black as inherently explicit, inherently degrading, which of course carries with the horrible, racist implications.
Starting point is 00:18:35 Next, Connie delivers one of the most intricate sequence of lines in his entire discography. He flips gangbang from a sexual exploit to modern street gangs with the line. I guess a lot of N-words do gangbang. Next, Kanye says, And if we run trains, we all in the same gang. This alludes to another sexual act of running a train, which according to Urban Dictionary means a lineup of guys having sex with one girl, one after another.
Starting point is 00:19:00 The phrase, We all in the same gang, is also a clever allusion to the 1990 anti-gang song We're All in the same gang, by the supergroup West Coast All-Stars that included ICT, Dr. Dre, E, and many more. So since we all talk the same slang, Stop killing my brother because we're all from the same gang.
Starting point is 00:19:22 Don't you know we got to put on a chance because we're all in the same gang? After saying if we run trains, we're all in the same gang, Connie says runaway slaves all in a chain gang. This line cleverly links both modern day racism and gang banging back to their origins in slavery, as well as the chain gangs of southern prisoners who were forced to do manual labor by chain together. The runaway slaves line also gives new meaning to the previous line, we're all in the same gang, which now can be read as meaning the gang of being black in America, united by the commonality that they're all discriminated against. The verse ends with Kanye saying bang five times.
Starting point is 00:20:03 Here we have a complex quadruple entendre and a brilliant thematic exclamation mark to the verse's end. Coming after the chain gang line, we first think of the banging of something like sledgehammers against steel, something signifying physical labor. Coming after runaway slave, we can also interpret the bangs as gunshots from a slave owner toward an escaping slave. Of course, the bang of a gunshot would also apply to the gun violence common to urban gangs mentioned earlier. Finally, bang could allude to a few sexual acts, the thrust of a man's body, or the train
Starting point is 00:20:35 line of men waiting to have sex with the woman. Personally, I always find this passage to be quite depressing. Here on hell of a life, Connie is indulging in fantasy, letting his imagination run rampant in a cathartic exercise of self-expression. But yet, even in this imagined environment of his psyche, he can't escape the looming reality of being black in America, can't escape the history of his ancestors, or the momentary insecurity that his skin color may affect his ambitions and fantasies. After a repetition of the song's hook, verse three begins. One day I'm going to marry a porn star. We'll have a big-ass crib and a long yard. We'll have a mansion.
Starting point is 00:21:15 And some fly maids Nothing to high We both screw the prize maids You want a role play Till I roll over I'm gonna need a whole day At least road doja What party is we going to
Starting point is 00:21:26 On Oscar Day Especially if she can't get that dress Some Oscar Dave Lorenta they wouldn't rent her They couldn't take the change That's the dress off her back And told her get away How could you say they lit
Starting point is 00:21:37 They live their life wrong When you never fuck with the lights on Fuck with the lights on Fuck with the lights on Fuck with the lights on Fuck with the lights Connie begins verse 3 by stating, One day I'm gonna marry a porn star.
Starting point is 00:21:51 A slightly prophetic line is his now wife Kim Kardashian gained prominence partly because of a leaked sex date. But on hell of a life, the motives of Kanye's love interest in porn stars begins to reveal itself as a verse continues. After fantasizing about their sex-filled life in a mansion, he says, Nothing to Hide, we both screw the bridesmaids.
Starting point is 00:22:10 The key phrase here is nothing to hide, and this theme of personal liberation and uninhibited self-expression will carry through the verse until its exclamatory end. Connie says, What party we go into on Oscar Day? Especially if she can't get that dress from Oscar de la Renta. They wouldn't rent her. They couldn't take the shame.
Starting point is 00:22:29 Snatched the dress off her back and told her get away. Here, Connie outlines a scenario in which his porn star wife is shunned and shamed at an Oscar award party. This section parallels the latter half of verse two, as again Connie's fantasies can't escape the reality of discrimination and prejudice. Where Connie was shunned for his skin color, the porn star is shun for a profession, which the public perceives as a shameful and desperate life choice. And it's this shared public shame that seems to attract Connie to the porn star. They're both outcasted from society, and Connie can identify with and relate to our struggles.
Starting point is 00:23:04 This sentiment is epitomized in the verse's masterful closing lines, how could they say they live their life wrong, if you never fuck with the lights on. This line snaps the entire song into place, crystallizing precisely why Connie both desires and identifies with the porn star. Connie uses having sex with the lights on as a metaphor for unabashed self-expression for the unconditional embrace of one's own self-and sexuality. Those who exclusively have sex with the lights off implies insecurity and discomfort with themselves and their own self-shaming sexuality. It turns out that a disgust with porn stars is rooted in their own insecurity, a projection of their own anxieties as they feel threatened by someone so comfortable
Starting point is 00:23:45 in their own skin, so comfortable that they don't mind not only having sex with the lights on, but having sex on camera for the entire world to see. As an artist and celebrity, Connie is essentially doing the same thing. In his music, he expresses his emotions and feelings freely and works that the whole world are privy to. Coming off the heels of Runaway, this theme is especially potent at this point in the album. Also, as a celebrity, the specific of Connie's personal life and issues are often public information, and it's this kind of exposure and vulnerability through his music and the media that caused Connie to identify with and perhaps feel safe and understood by a porn star. Again, it's kind of a sad, lonely revelation. We have
Starting point is 00:24:26 Connie looking around for someone or something to understand him, someone to bond and connect with, and the only thing he could seem to find is a porn star on a computer screen and a fantasy that's taking place in his head. After a repetition of the song's hook, Hell of a Life breaks down into angelic choir-like voices, over which Connie performs a brief but revealing outro. Kanye says, I think I fell in love with the porn star and got married in the bathroom, honeymoon on the dance floor,
Starting point is 00:25:25 and got divorced by the end of the night. That's one hell of a life. Kanye and his imagined wife have sex in the bathroom at a club, have a dance, and then leave each other hours later. This mini-narrative is a reality. revealing look into the extent of Kanye's fantasy. Throughout the song, he claims to fall in love and imagines that he'll one day marry a porn star.
Starting point is 00:25:46 It seems now that love and marriage to Kanye was simply a metaphor for sex and nothing more. He caps off the outro saying, That's one hell of a life. And we're again forced to decide on what he means by this. Is it a life of excitement, a life of sin, or a life of misery? Perhaps it's most accurately all three simultaneously, none of which are fulfilling or sustainable. A hell of a life indeed. And before we dissect the song's cryptic instrumental outro, there's just one thing I have to point out.
Starting point is 00:26:17 It's not something I'm 100% sure about, but it's interesting nonetheless. Throughout the song, Kanye says hell of a life to end each hook and the outro we just heard. Having listened to this song countless times in preparation of this podcast, I couldn't help but realize that Connie never actually pronounces the word life fully. never actually accents the f in life. We fill it in ourselves because hell of a life is a common phrase we've all heard before. But what happens when you leave the f out of life? What's that leave us with?
Starting point is 00:26:48 It sounds to me a lot like hell of a lie. Have a listen. So what'd you think? Did you hear it? Again, it might be an overanalysis, but if it were in fact done on purpose, hell of a lie would certainly be on point thematically. Of course it accentuates the fantasy aspect of the song, which is a very much, itself is one big lie taking place in Kanye's head.
Starting point is 00:27:25 But Hell of a Lie could also be Commentara in Kanye's confident claim that all he needs in life is pussy and religion, a claim that already seems somewhat suspect. We know a life full of sin isn't sustainable in any healthy way, and we know Connie knows that too. Anyway, I'll let you decide on the validity of this Hell of a Lie interpretation. If anything, it's something like an interesting Freudian slip. Hell of a Life concludes with the cryptic instrumental outro that features The moans of Tiana Taylor, who sung the intro and chorus on the album Opener Dark Fantasy.
Starting point is 00:27:57 Soon after Taylor enters, Connie is heard breathing heavily. Let's have a listen. On the surface, it would seem Hell of a Life's outro as a depiction of a man and woman having sex. It's the literal climax of a song about sexual expression, the oral manifestation of Connie's erotic imaginings. But let's think about this section a little bit harder, no pun intended. Hell of a Life opens with the lines, I think I just fell in love with the point. porn star, turn the camera on she's a born star. In verse 2, Kanye says, you can hear the loudest screams coming from inside the screen. Later, he asks, tell me what I got to do to be that guy,
Starting point is 00:29:15 talking about the male porn star having sex with the woman on the screen. It would certainly seem Kanye is watching a porno throughout hell of a life, and the many narratives he creates are his imagination running wild while watching said porno. And given the fantastical nature of the song, wouldn't it seem more likely that the moans and heavy breathing, are actually a depiction of Connie masturbating? Let's listen again to the passage in question, and this time, notice the effect placed on the woman's voice,
Starting point is 00:29:42 the passionless nature of Connie's breathing, and the accelerated pace of his breathing when Connie is isolated at the very end of the track. So, what did you think? To me, the effect on the woman's voice is reminiscent of the kind of audio you hear on a laptop, heavy in treble and slightly devoid of bass. Connie's breathing is EQ'd much differently,
Starting point is 00:30:43 and to me sounds out of sync with the voice. woman's moans, like the two are operating independently of one another. Connie's breasts are passionless, while the woman's moans are somewhat robotic. And because those moans also double as a melody, we could technically call them scripted, perhaps like someone playing a part. Finally, the outro ends with the music and woman cutting out altogether, leaving Connie isolated and alone, and his breasts grow faster as if he's climaxing. For me, isolating Connie and his breasts at the end is a calculated tell that he's indeed masturbating, presumably while alone in front of a computer or TV screen. Of course, it's a sad and lonely image. Despite the exciting and adventurous musical mood throughout
Starting point is 00:31:25 the entire song, it ultimately deflates, ending in isolation, and loneliness. It forces us to reconsider everything we just heard. Could it be hell of a life all takes place in Connie's head while watching a porno and masturbating? The dark, twisted fantasies of a lonely rock star attempting to climax? Moreover, Is this a sad, inevitable conclusion of a man who on runaway, commanded that his love interests leave him due to his inability to love and be intimate with a woman? Is Connie destined to a life of empty sexual transactions, forever paralyzed by lust, insecurity, and selfishness?
Starting point is 00:32:01 Again, a hell of a life indeed. Conclusions Hell of a life is a deeply complex narrative fantasy that operates on multiple levels simultaneously. On its surface, it's a crude display of the twisted imagining of Kanye's psyche and a liberating release of his innermost fantasies. Connie uses a porn star as a symbol of sexual freedom and self-expression in a song that strives to unabashedly parade the darkest most sinful parts of himself, parts that are perhaps
Starting point is 00:32:34 inside all of us, though most of us could never or would never admit it, let alone publicly. In this way, hell of a life is strangely progressed towards self-acceptance that Connie struggle with on Runaway. On the other hand, the more Kanye becomes at home with his true self and all the dark complexities of his psyche, the more alienated from the world he becomes. A porn star is then a symbol of the outcast, the pariah, shunned from society for simply being who they are. In this way, hell of a life is a tragic realization of Connie's place in the world, or shall we say displacement in the world. What seemed to begin is a momentous push towards self-actualization after the cathartic
Starting point is 00:33:12 release of Runaway. Hell of a life ultimately deflates by the song's end. We find Connie all alone, pleasuring himself in front of a screen, his fantastical concepts of love and marriage reduced to momentary less-ridden sexual pleasures. The somberness of this realization is accentuated and carried over in the album's next track, which by no coincidence begins with a continuation of the breathing we heard on Hell of a Life's outro. The breathing here now sounds like a sigh, like resignation. Of course, the song is blame game, a sorrow-filled recount of a relationship gone sour, which will be a thoroughly explore next time on Dissect. Dissect is written and produced by me.
Starting point is 00:34:13 Theme music by Birocratic. If you're hungry for more Connie West analysis, I might suggest checking out the podcast, Watching the Throne. Host Chris and Travis dive deep on Connie lyrics one track at a time, and it's on Watching the Throne that I first heard the hell of a life masturbation theory I shared on today's episode. You can find their pod on all major podcast apps. Just search Watching the Throne. If you'd like to support Dissect, you can do so at patreon.com slash dissect. As you've heard me say many times, there's no team behind Dissect. It's just me. And by donating as little as $1 per month, you can help me offset some of the costs of the show. This week's Patreon Diamond Level
Starting point is 00:34:53 shoutouts go to Zahir McGee, Dan Evans, Sam and Chaudry, Grant Jakins, R. Hudson, Stuart Cornelius, Kevin Wynn, Austin Frazier, David Drummond, and Theo Mills. Again, you can support Dissect at Patreon spelled p-a-t-r-e-o-n.com slash dissect. Also, there's just a little over a week to pre-order your dissect season 2 apparel. Head over to rocky clarkclothing.com to check out the twisted fantasy-inspired long-sleeveeat with all proceeds going to charity. Again, that's rocky-clarkclothing.com. Okay, thanks everyone.
Starting point is 00:35:30 I'll talk to you next week.

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