Dissect - S7E7 - 3005 by Childish Gambino

Episode Date: February 2, 2021

We continue our season-long examination of Because The Internet with “3005.” Commonly mistaken as a love song, “3005” is a desperate plea for connection amidst an overwhelming feeling of existential loneliness. View our 3005 music video analysis on YouTube or Instagram. Dive deeper into the world of BTI with our episodic visual guides, where you can also read the BTI screenplay in full. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

From Spotify, this is Dissect, long-form musical analysis broken into short digestible episodes. I'm your host, Cole Kushna. Today we continue our serialized analysis of Because the Internet by Childish Gambino. On our last episode, we dissected Sweatpants, a song that found Gambino and the boy stuck in a narcissistic loop of bragging and stunting. At the end of the song, the frustration with his meaningless existence came to a head as he slammed his fist on a diner table, an outburst that tethers together the song, screenplay, and music video. In the screenplay, this outburst is triggered by the boy's interaction with a kid who wrote Roscoe's wetsuit on a wall in a late-night diner.

The boy asked the kid what the phrase meant, and the kid said that he didn't know, that he just saw it on the internet. He was propagating something meaningless, just going with the mob, comfortable in his ignorance. This frustrated the boy, who in the midst of existential crisis, is starting to recognize the frivolousness of everything around him and searching for something meaningful. Recall that the boy had just made a long drive from L.A. to Oakland in attempt to rekindle a relationship with his ex, but she had moved on and told him to grow up.

While sweatpants seemed to be an ego boost after this rejection, it didn't last long, nor did it really work, as evidenced by the outburst in the diner. The boy has much more work to do if he's ever going to grow up. After leaving the diner, the screenplay continues with the boy and his crew, still in Oakland, arriving at a hotel for the night. There's a wedding going on inside the hotel between an Indian bride and a white groom. And it's here that we can recall the line from the song

Telegraph Avenue. If I married you tonight, it would probably start a riot. Well, in the script, it's actually that night, since the boy saw his ex Naila earlier that day. When he sees this wedding, he's seeing what he thought about with Naila. The script provides a cynical take of the event, which seemed to reflect the crew's feelings about marriage. They watch the procession while arguing about interracial relationships, about whether or not the groom gets any interracial points. But Swank brings up the 90s sitcom Boy Meets World and says the groom is, quote, doing what white guy's been doing since forever, exactly what he wants, unquote.

Just like in the previous scene at the diner, the boy isn't engaged in this cynical conversation. Instead, he's fixated on the newlyweds dancing, and he tells the crew that he's never seen a wedding before. Referencing the song Miss Jackson by Outcast, FAMM says the forever-ever idea of marriage is whack. The boy then says that they seem happy, but Fam rebukes this saying that once they realize goals are dumb,

they'll be upset, and that, quote, making your life a goal is dumb, I think. This shit is supposed to be just fun, unquote. The crew go their separate ways for the night, and the boy decides to stay and watch the wedding alone. He takes a seat and starts filming the couple dancing. An older Indian dude comes up to him, and the boy lies and says he went to college with the groom. The older dude insinuates that the boy will have to get married soon.

The boy says he's against marriage, and instead believes in, quote, cool baby mamas. The boy then asks the man if he gets tired of being married. The older dude admits that this does happen sometimes, but says he had to man up and that he didn't regret it. The boy says he doesn't have to man up since he's found what he's good at and had mature relationships along the way. He naively justifies those relationships as mature since he still sends them a happy birthday text, but the older dude calls him out and says that's nothing, that he still does that with his boss that he hates. The older dude then asks the boy what he does. The boy details his process of trolling celebrities and politicians until they respond,

posting those responses on his blog and collecting advertising money. The boy sees that the older dude is confused, so he says, I'm like Bill O'Reilly. This older dude initially seems to come in as some source of wisdom. In traditional narrative structure, this would be the meeting of the mentor that often happens during the protagonist's road of trials, but the older dude doesn't so much give advice, but offer a reality check for the boy.

He questions the boy's faulty ideas about relationships and seems unimpressed by the boy's choice of using his time to troll online. The older dude leaves the boy as a groomsman begins a toast. He announces that it's time for the quote, traditional march to forever, to bless the bride and groom with happiness for all their days to come, unquote. It's here that we're instructed to play because the internet's next song, the subject of our episode today, 2005. 305 is in part an exploration of forever, ever,

about everlasting connection and if that's possible or even desirable. This is what the wedding scene depicts, a formal commitment to forever with the single person, and gaining some kind of life purpose or goal with that commitment. Coming off the heels of rejection and searching for meeting, the boy seems interested in interrogating this concept, hence his decision to stay and watch the wedding while his friends cynically dismiss it as whack. It's unclear if the boy is changed by the wedding, Nila's rejection, or his talk with the older dude.

Will he, like his crew, double down and remain cynical about marriage, about commitment, about life, goals, love, and everlasting connection? Again, it's unclear, but it does appear that with 2005, we might get a little closer to finding out. 3,05 was produced by Stefan Ponce, Ludwig Gorensen, and Childish Gambino. Gambino's vocal hook was originally written over a different beat produced. by Hit Boy, a beat that eventually became the song we know now as Trophies by Drake. And they don't have no award for that. Trofers.

Trofers. And just for fun, here's what the 3,005 hook sounds like over this beat. Of course, the version we know is much different in terms of production. Then up-and-coming producer Stefan Pontz, like Glover's vocal melody, and composed these chords for it, which eventually made the album. Now, the interesting thing about these chords is their structure. It begins with a C-sharp minor 7, which moves up to a D-major 7, and then moves up to an F-sharp minor.

Then it moves back down to the D-major 7. The progression then returns to the first chord and starts again. If we take away the fancy musical jargon, we have a progression of essentially C-D-F-D-C. This is a palindrome. A palindrome is a word, phrase, or sequence that reads the same backwards as it does forward. For instance, the word kayak, K-A-Y-A-K, is a palindrome because the word reads the same whether you read it backwards or forwards. Musical palindromes are actually a thing, something composers have experimented with for centuries. One of the earliest examples is from the 14th century, a piece by Guillaume DiMaschou called

Maffin-es-Mong commencement, which translates to my end is my beginning. The entire piece is a palindrome and can be played backwards from the end to the beginning, and it would be exactly the same as if it were played beginning to end. 305's palindromic chord progression is more than a mere fun fact. It actually serves the semantic purpose of the song, which as we've discussed is this idea of forever. Because what's also palindromic in shape is the infinity symbol, two intersecting loops that are mirror images of one another. And it appears that Gambino had this shape, this symbol of forever, on his mind when crafting this track, specifically in regards to its title, 2005. It's of course a year

that sounds to us incredibly futuristic and functions to represent this forever idea. But if we look at the number itself, 3.005, we see that the numbers in the center, two zeros actually resemble the infinity symbol. On the outsides, we have three and five. Numbers that themselves nearly make the infinity shape on their own. However, when we put them together, adding three plus five, or even three plus zero plus zero plus five, we get eight, a vertical infinity. So either way you slice it, the case can be made that the number three thousand five contains two infinity-like symbols, tying into the song's palindromic chord progression, and the song's overall emphasis on forever.

Of course, this is all conjecture, a projection of meaning upon the numbers, but this is the same process Glover admits gives meaning to the track, and the same process that the boy is going through, trying to ascribe meaning in his life. The track begins with the hook, as Gambino sings, no matter what you say or what you do. When I'm alone, I'd rather be with you. Fuck these other end words, I'll be wrong.

right by your side till 305 hold up. This hook is actually iambic pentameter, a true Shakespearean form. Initially, it appears romantic, an expression of some desire to be with a partner for eternity. This sentiment of desiring to be with one person and one person alone, forever, is the sincere aspiration of marriage. Riming Do and You elicits the I-do promise of wedlock, and overall, the hook's lyrics resemble wedding vows, but the internal rhyme of right by your side till 2005 gets broken by the concluding hold up. Like we heard on Telegraph Avenue, even in the midst of expressing commitment, there's simultaneously a sense of wariness, of doubt. At the same time, we should be cautious about describing the meaning of the hook and the song 2005 in general

to being exclusively about love and romance. In interviews, Glover would often dismantled the idea that the song is a straightforward love song. Instead, highlighting the existential qualities of the track. It's funny because I've been reading comments and everybody's like, it's a love song, obviously. Like, it's like one of the sadder. Like, I feel like song's not about anything. It's just about like, it's kind of an existential thing.

Like, it's just like kind of like I don't really, like, I just don't want to be. I'm really scared of being alone. Like, I'm really scared of like, what is this supposed to be? I don't know. Like, when I was little, there was a big dog down the street. and I was really scared of it, but when I was with my sister, when I knew I had to protect her,

I wasn't afraid of the dog as much because I was just like, somebody was there, like I had a purpose. I feel like my parents had that, or their parents had that. Like, I know what, they knew what they were supposed to be doing. I kind of felt lost. I kind of, like, lost that, I feel.

What Glover touches on here is the idea of the song as an exploration of the fear that stems from loneliness. He equates solitude to not having a purpose. and suggests that the idea of just being there for someone can provide purpose, something he felt as a child, something he believes his parents have because they have children, but something he feels that he's lost.

Through this lens, 2005 is about the feeling of purposelessness triggered by loneliness and searching for that mysterious something that gives you meaning, that you can dedicate and commit yourself to, be that a romantic partner, a passion, or even yourself. Good just a week ago. Crew at my house and we party every weekend. So on the radio, that's my favorite song.

Make me bounce around like I don't know like I won't be here long. Now the thrill is gone. Got no patience because I'm not a doctor. Go why is you line? Girl, why you Mufasa? Yeah, me Casa Su Casa. Got it striped like Gaza. Got so high off volcanoes.

Now the flow is so lava. Yeah, we spit that saliva. Gambino begins verse 1. Okay, hold up. Wait a minute. All good just a week ago. Here he plays off the hold-up refrain of the hook, but also nods to the hip-hop tradition of using the phrase,

hold up, wait a minute. Here's the phrase being used back in the 1994 track, 20-minute workout by DJ Cool. A more recent example can be found in Meek Mill's 2012 hit, Dreams and Nightmares. The All Good Just a Week ago of Gambino's line seems to allude to another hip-hop classic, Jay-Z's 1996 track, Dead President. While Gambino's opening line nods to hip-hop history, specific to the album's narrative,

Hold Up Wait a Minute All Good Just a Week ago, refers to the boy's recent realization of existential crisis after witnessing the shooting of World Star. Gambino then goes on to describe this week ago, rapping, crew up my house and we party every weekend. So, on the radio, that's my favorite song. Make me bounce around. like I don't know, like I won't be here long. After shouting out his feature on Chance the Rappers track my favorite song, Gambino indulges in the party atmosphere, as it provides a distraction from the undeniable fact that his time on Earth is limited, that he won't be here long.

This as describes fun as a means of finding purpose in the limited time we have, which is perfectly in line with fam's thinking in the script that, quote, making your life a goal is dumb, I think. This shit is supposed to be just fun. But as we've seen in the narrative, Gambino isn't enjoying the party lifestyle anymore, and he laments, now the thrill is gone, got no patience, because I'm not a doctor. Girl, why is you lying, girl why you muffasa? The double entendre of patience refers to the patience that go see a doctor.

Given that patience is the virtue of taking time, this pun also hints that Gambino doesn't feel he has time to enjoy himself. He then lashes out at a girl, likely one attending his party. for lying about the existential predicament we're all in. Gambino sees this now and is frustrated with those who don't. And yet another reference to royalty of the 90s, Gambino pronounces lying like lion and compares the girl to Mufasa, the first king and father of Simba in the Lion King. The reference to Mufasa evokes his untimely death of the movie, a reminder of the lie the girl is telling herself, the lie that we have time to waste. But Gambino is still at the party,

tells the girl, Yamikasa Su Casa, got it stripping like Gaza. The Spanish phrase, Mikasa Su Casa, means my house is yours, referring to how Glover brought his friends and crew to the temple to create BTI, as well as the boy constantly hosting party after party. The festivities are stripping like Gaza, a reference that implies both sexual indulgence in stripping, and boisterous hedonism through the connotations of violence attached to the Gaza strip, a contentious zone at the center of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. This simile's dichotomous hedonism and explosive tension is continued in the next line, got so high off volcanoes, now the flow is so lava. First, the partiers get high by using a volcano vaporizer, and the resultant loose intoxication means that Gambino's flow

is now lava or fire. On the other hand, volcanoes are constant reminders of underlying tension, of the ever-present chance for explosion, much like the agitation surrounding the Gaza Strip. The implication here is that we're riveted by potential conflict, such as the volcano or Gaza, to the point that we don't realize that there isn't much time until it boils over and explodes, harming everyone around. Gambino's crisis at this time is that he's all too aware of the imminent and existential threats, and he's unable to enjoy himself as others do around him, something he was able to do just a week ago. Yeah, we spit that saliva iPhone got message from Vibah

Either the head is so hydra Or we let bygones be bygones My God you pay for your friends I'll take that as a compliment Got a house full of homies Why I feel so the opposite Incompetit ain't that half of it Saturdays with young lavish

Saddest shit is I'm bad as it means they took From the cabinet Well sorry I'm just scared of the future Till 2005 I got your back We can do this whole up No matter what you say What you do

Gambino wraps, yeah, we spit that saliva, iPhone got message from Viber. Vibre is a messaging app primarily used by people in different countries to avoid international fees. So Gambino is boasting about receiving texts from would-be lovers all over the world. We spit that saliva then functions to refer to his lava flow from the previous line, the communication between him and his flock of women, and to the fluids produced during oral sex, as the subsequent line is, either the head is so hydra, or we let bygones be bygones. Gambino expects oral sex or head so hydra, referring to the mythological monster who would grow two heads in place of every head that got cut off.

So it appears Gambino is expecting multiple women to perform oral sex simultaneously, or that'll be of extremely high quality. Either that happens, or we let bygones be bygones, a phrase meaning that we accept disagreements of the past and move forward. in a sort of dismissive manner. With this in mind, it's possible that Gambino also means the multiple heads refers to a reciprocal exchange of oral sex. In this sense, either both partners please each other, or they move on, which could be viewed as the ideal method for making partnerships and evolving when needed. Furthermore, saliva also holds key symbolic significance in Glover's concept of interconnectedness. Spit that saliva is both the act of spitting, but also speaking, of trying to communicate. As Glover explained in an interview, quote,

Everything we do, sex, art, all that shit, is us trying to feel how we feel inside someone else, how someone else feels like. We're all connected. We're like water droplets. Every drop of water on earth, the spit in my mouth, is trying to go find all the other water. Like we all are trying to be connected, and the internet kind of made this thing happen where we could either use this for good, like us growing or for worse, unquote. With this idea in mind, spit that saliva and attempt at communication and connection, followed by iPhone got message from Viber, a modern day form of communication and connection, seemed to fit perfectly into the extended water metaphor used throughout BTI.

Gambino is attempting to make a reciprocal connection within a romantic relationship, and performative sex, technology, and the internet are now influential in making those connections, though if that's a good thing or not is unclear. Gambino then continues rapping, My God, you pay for your friends, I'll take that as a compliment, got a house full of homies, why I feel so the opposite.

He attempts to dismiss criticism that his friends are only around because of his money and the lifestyle it affords them, saying that he takes it as a compliment. But this rings hollow, especially given the boys growing disconnect with them. Thus, in a house full of homies, he feels the opposite,

it, feels alone, excluded, an outsider in his own home. He then wraps, Incompetent ain't the half of it. Saturdays with young lavishes, sad as shit, I'm bad as it, beans they took from the cabinet. He's feeling down on himself for spending his free time with these people. Yet when he says, I'm bad as it, he's uttered an incomplete phrase. As following, sad as shit, it appears he was going to say bad as it gets, which completes the rhyme. But he becomes distracted again by the beans in the cabinet, which is slang for pills of Excessi, MDMA, or Molly that he and his friends take. The drugs provide a diversion for Gambino, as he says, whoa, and then backtracks on his previous statement, rapping,

Sorry, I'm just scared of the future, till 2005, I got your back, we can do this, hold up. This line of thinking appeared on Gambino's series of Instagram notes released as part of the BTI rollout. They actually began with the sentence, I'm afraid of the future, and what followed was a series of intimate fears and ideas. His existential fear of the future is tempered by the thought of partnership, of having someone with him as they go forward.

This was also mentioned in the Instagram notes and speaks to the song's attempt to capture an innate human dilemma. Not, I didn't write it that way. That song is about just like the emptiness of like knowing, like I'll never reach that. I'll never get there. And like, I just wanting to have, somebody with me like on the way out not even somebody that somebody can be

yourself that somebody can be money that somebody can be God that somebody can be your existence and as a whole but like I don't I think a lot of people want answers and people want to tie things up which is why people were like he's not having a crisis or like he's he's depressing like people want to label things and it's like maybe I'm just a lie and that's how I feel so and we all feel this way so why are we bullshitting I just want to be honest. I think people are afraid to be honest. Like we already touched on, this sentiment

is reflected in the hook. Indeed, in its second iteration, these darker, more existential questions are highlighted by the song's production. Where the first hook was performed over just the jovial chord progression, the second time around we have some darker elements, namely this

low, murky synth line. We also hear a pretty abrasive siren, a warning signal, something certainly out of place in a traditional love song. Vocal. Vocal Gambeino also adds a new line to the hook. If you listen in the background, you'll hear him say, but you ain't here, and the phrase hold up gets added repetition. Though Gambino wants eternal bond, outside forces seem to remind him that he doesn't have one, and his doubts about the concept

itself are growing. In an interview with Power 106, Glover explained how the hold up phrase expresses this doubt. I could not see myself with the same girl till 2005. That's what the whole up part is about. That's what the whole up is like, wait a second. That's what the whole of like. I don't, it really is. As we progressed through 305, the hold up or doubt about whether or not an infinite eternal bond is possible is only going to grow.

That's right after the break. Welcome back to dissect. Before the break, we heard Gambino's growing doubts about whether or not an infinite eternal bond is possible. As we get into verse 2, his pessimism continues to gain prominence. I don't care what people thought. But now I care more and nobody out here's got it figured out. So therefore I've lost all hope of a happy ending,

depending on whether or not it's worth it so insecure. No one's perfect. We spend it with no shame we blow that. Like oh train, we in here. Like Rogaine or leave it. Like Obane. And when I'm long gone, whole crew singing swan song,

because we all just ticking time bombs. Gambino raps, I used to care what people thought, but now I care more. This is in contrast to what people usually say. I used to care what people think, but now I don't. In his old mindset, Gambino or the boy certainly didn't care about what others thought, or at least that's what they tried to project. But now we find Gambino admitting that his existential musings have only exacerbated his concern

with what others think about him. However, this isn't necessarily a good thing, as Glover's Instagram notes included the line, I hate caring what people think. It's a nuanced distinction, one that Gambino attempted to explain on the Arsenio Hall show. Yeah, I mean, I care about what people think. Like, people are always talking about, you know, you shouldn't care about what people, but you should. Like, you really should. Like, if I sneeze in your face, like, I shouldn't be like, ah, it's not me, right?

I, you should really care about, it's always important to care what other people think are out. People, because, like, that's what connects us. I mean, like, I want to do the best thing I can, but sometimes, like, it stops, like, you know, I'm insecure. I feel weird about a bunch of stuff. Like, I'm awkward about stuff. But I just, you know, I wish I didn't feel that way so much that. it stopped me from doing what I really love doing because everybody's afraid, you know, everybody's so afraid now of like offending and being misunderstood and that's going to happen.

The distinction here is that it's incredibly important to care what other people think, since we're all connected and affect each other. But we also have to be sure to allow people to space and opportunity to grow from mistakes. Otherwise, we lock ourselves in a place of inaction, where we care about each other, but feel that we'll be torn apart if we mess up. so we don't take any risks. As Gambino laments, nobody has this figured out, and adds, so therefore I've lost all hope of a happy ending, depending on whether or not it's worth it, so insecure no one's perfect. Because these lines are left obscure, they take on an existential quality tinge with nihilism. Gambino has lost hope that anyone feels compelled by their desires,

that anyone feels purpose from what they're trying to do, while simultaneously realizing no one is perfect. It's a bleak situation to be in, which leads him to detail our imperfect decisions, rapping, we spend it with no shame, we blow that like Coltrane, we in here like Rogaine, or leave it like Cobain. In this series of similes, it continues to be used to keep things vague and existential. Gambino believes that we spend our lives, money, and time without shame, without regard, without a general sense of purpose. Blow that like Coltrane is used to capture the explosive excitement of spending our time or money on something, but simultaneously suggests that in this process,

we've also blown our chance, our time, our lives. The reference to John Coltrane, a famous jazz saxophonist, adds two more layers to blow. It most obviously references Coltrane saxophone, but also the drugs he battled addictions with. Gambino then says, we in here like Rogaine, and pronounces here like hair,

playing off the fact Rogain is used to promote hair growth. So either we're in here, or we can leave it like Cobain. Gambino's, of course, referencing Kurt Cobain, the lead singer of Nirvana, a different kind of 90s prince who tragically committed suicide in 1994. Cobain publicly grappled with the way his work was perceived, what people thought, keeping in line with the theme of this verse. Cobain is clearly being used here as an example of someone who,

when faced with this universal existential dilemma, chose to leave it, chose to end his life. We can't help but think of Glover's own suicide attempt, and grow increasingly concerned that Gambino or the boy might be contemplating the act, at least as a possible option in answering the existential question of why. Gambino even entertains the scenario in the subsequent lines, and when I'm long gone, whole crew sing a swan song, because we all just taking time bombs.

Imagining his death, he sees his friends singing a swan song, a term typically used for someone's final musical performance. Given the song's focus on time, it appears Gambino isn't considering whether or not he and a romantic partner can be together until 2005, but if he or even the memory of him will make it much longer. After all, death is inevitable, as is our erasure from the collective memory. We're all just ticking time bombs, as Gambino puts it, and this explosive reference calls back to the We Blow That Like Coltrane line, another reminder of the omnipresent tension beneath our existence and the close proximity of excitement and death.

and if our time here is limited, maybe the idea of having a Lambo or Lamborghini like LeBron's mom is an indication that extreme wealth and expensive toys can lessen the hurt, distract us from the pain. But this line takes another turn when we realize that at the time, LeBron James' mother was dating a 31-year-old rapper named De Real Lambo. Whether it be expensive cars or younger, flashy, significant others, the implication here is that we try and fight back against death-ticking clock

by indulging in wealth or experiences that make us feel young. Of course, this is exactly what the boy and his crew have been doing, stuck in a perpetual state of adolescence. But the boy is beginning to see this too as a facade, which becomes clear as the verse continues. I'm just ticking time bombs, got a Lambo like LeBron's mom, and no matter where all of my friends go, Emily, Fam and Lorenzo,

all of them people my camp folk, at least I think so. Can't tell, because when them checks clear, and I hear, because they don't care. It's kind of sad, but I'm laughing, whatever happens, Assassins are staff in the back of my cabin, Labrador yapping, I'm glad that it happened. I mean in between us, I think there's something special. And if I lose my mental, just hold my hand even if you don't understand, hold up. Gambino raps, and no matter where all my friends go, Emily, Fam, and Lorenzo,

all of them people my kinfolk, least I think so, can't tell, because when them checks clear, they're not here, because they don't care. Here, Emily refers to Emily Carter, the girl in the pool and clapping for the wrong reasons. FAM is both the boy and Gambino's friend, while Lorenzo is an unknown, and may just be a name for rhyme's sake. Gambino claims these friends are close, yet he can't tell for sure since they leave once the checks clear, possibly meaning that money has been deposited in their accounts or the money has dried up altogether. They leave because they don't actually care about Gambino, proving that the line, My God, you pay for your friends from verse 1 is true.

Gambino's sincere desire for connection or bond is thwarted by his friends' focus on money. Gambino then attempts to move on from this seeming betrayal, rapping, It's kind of sad, but I'm laughing, whatever happens, assassins, I'm stabbed in the back of my cabin, Labrador Yapin, I'm glad that it happened, I mean it. Him being left alone is kind of sad, but Gambino claims he'll be laughing no matter what, even if he's assassinated while staying in a cabin. The cabin suggests further isolation and seclusion, and his mention of gladly being assassinated, heightens our worry over his thoughts about suicide. The Labrador yapping is a sign of distress and reminds us of Gambino giving context to the track by recounting the scary dog he would

protect his sister from as a child. Interestingly, a dog shows up in close proximity to death yet again. On the song Crawl, we heard Gambino rap, I still put it down like the family dog. And on the song, What Kind of Love, an unfinished track released a few months after BTI. Gambino rapped, why get a dog? it's just going to die. It seems that for Gambino, the sincerity and joy embodied by a dog is a reminder of mortality, a reminder that it cannot last. This seems to be one of the central ideas in 2005's music video, which features a teddy bear, another symbol of innocence and joy, that sustains an increasing amount of injuries as Gambino and the bear ride a Ferris wheel. We actually made a video that analyzes the 3005 music video in full, which is linked in today's

episode notes and should be considered required viewing in tandem with this episode. Gambino finishes out the verse rapping, Between Us, I think there's something special, and if I lose my mental, just hold my hand, even if you don't understand, hold up. While the Between Us is often read as a bond between lovers, given Glover's own statements about the song being more existential, we can read the lyric as being about humanity on a larger scale. The connections between us all are something special, something Glover is trying to

expose in his work, and he asks that even if we don't get it, don't get the purpose of life or what we're supposed to do, that we still hold hands, still keep the connection even if we don't understand each other fully and everything that's going on. As 2005 winds down to its end, we hear high-pitched voices say, we did it, yay. If the song was hypothesizing about reaching forever with someone else, it seems these voices celebrate the fact that they did it. But this celebration is immediately undercut by a voice that says, You So Thirsty. Thirsty is being used here as internet slang,

a critique that someone is fishing for attention or expressing desire. Thus, Gambino's desire to make it to 2005, or the idea of celebrating getting to the end with each other, is subverted by the doubting, critical voices that would mock passion or sincerity, not unlike the hold-up second thoughts Gambino expressed throughout the track. It also cynically undercuts the entire notion of love and the forever, ever kind of commitment and connection we see as simply a reaction to our innate thirst for attention,

something we use to avoid loneliness and distract us from the existential dilemma at the very heart of human existence. However, these strange high-pitched voices serve another purpose, one that we only discover by reading the surreal scene in the script that 2005 is meant to soundtrack. We had left off in the screenplay at the wedding scene, the conversation between the boy and the older dude had just ended, and the groomsmen announced the start of a traditional march to forever. As the music begins for this procession, a stream of little creatures start to march out from the kitchen, holding banners and sparklers.

It's cute for a moment, but then starts to feel wrong. The creatures are humanoid, but they're about three feet tall, have slits for noses, eyes pushed to the sides of their heads, and their sharp, carnivorous teeth show through their four smiles. Although they're naked, they don't seem to have any genitalia, One creature has tears coming down its face, but forces a smile. The wedding party is smiling, but they're cautious as the creatures get to the front, form a circle and begin a clapping, dancing, almost step-team-like performance.

Once the music stops, the creatures shout, yay, we did it, just like we heard at the end of 2005 a moment ago. Everyone claps as the creatures head back to the kitchen, and we hear their struggled breathing and clammy skin hitting the floor. A creature stares at the boy as they leave, and the boy thinks to himself, that was unacceptable. The script then calls for Lemon Grab, a character from the cartoon show Adventure Time. A surreal connection between a wedding and grabbing lemons or Lemon Grabb also shows up in a scene from clapping for the wrong reasons, which you know is the contextual preface to BTI's script. In this scene, Glover or Gambino or The Boy is having a conversation with Danielle Fischel,

who is best known for her role as Topanga on the 90s sitcom Boy Meets World. Recall this show was just referenced by Swank when the crew was watching the wedding. While Fissel picks lemons from some small lemon trees, she describes to Glover a recurring dream of her wedding, where everything is a disaster. Everything's a disaster. My guests are all there. It's all my real life friends. They all look gorgeous.

They're all like fully done up in their gowns that they're probably going to wear to the wedding. My family's there. But suddenly I realize I should have already been married by now and I'm not married. I'm not in my wedding dress. I'm all alone in this giant area. She goes on to describe how everyone is dressed up and having a good time, but she, the bride, isn't ready. Her hair and makeup aren't done. And she's wearing army cargo pants and smoking a cigarette while pregnant.

So I tell my mom, mom, you don't know this, but I'm three or four weeks pregnant. She says, not put out the cigarette. She says, well, maybe you should go get in your wedding dress. It's all very, very weird. I'm not really sure what it means at all. I think we have too many lemons. One more? Yeah.

Glover struggles to carry all the lemons as they walk out of the garden, which is a nod to the, why can't I hold all these Lyme's internet meme that was popular in the early 2010s. In an interview with much media, Glover spoke about the reason for casting Danielle Fischel. How did you cast? She was perfect in the sense, like, as a dude, I was like, whoa, like Topanga. And every guy my age was like kind of the same thing.

Yeah. So she kind of fits like in that dream kind of world. Will you be? Glover describes his boish infatuation with Topanga and states how she perfectly fit into the dream world he was trying to create. She then seems to function as an idealized, naive symbol of love and attraction, perfect for a character named The Boy, and is perhaps a larger comment on our naivity. around the ideas of love and commitment that 305 interrogates. The wedding dream that Fischel describes is also in line with the themes of 2005. She states that she, quote,

should be married by now, speaking to the unspoken societal expectations that we marry before we're 30, while also resembling the older dude telling the boy that he needs to marry soon. Fissel being unprepared for her own wedding, while everyone else is having a good time, speaks to the kind of existential loneliness Gambino described throughout 2005 in an interview. use. Smoking while pregnant adds an element of danger, mortality, and implies suicidal ideation, which we also saw in 2005, and her mother suggests that in the face of this danger, she should

just put her dress on. That is, in the face of the existential dilemma and the fact that we're all just taking time bombs, her mother, like the older dude at the wedding, encourages her to indulge in the march to forever, to find meaning and purpose and an everlasting commitment to a single person. The underlying skepticism about this idea present throughout 2005 in the screenplay seems to be implied by the lemons being picked from the trees. On their own, lemons aren't great to consume, but become useful when mixed with multiple other ingredients. The informal definition of a lemon is, quote, an inadequate individual who gets taken advantage of, unquote. This lemon metaphor, in essence, offers a cynical take on marriage, that we're all inadequate, or we feel

inadequate, and so we look for fulfillment through others, who are themselves inadequate and looking for fulfillment. It's effectively the same assertion as the sarcastic voice that mocks you so thirsty at the end of 2005, and undercuts Gambino's sincere attempt to entertain the idea of commitment to a single person. And so we get to the end of 2005 and we're left wondering, is it possible to get to a point where you don't need someone else to give your life purpose? Is that type of fulfillment exclusive to love of another, or can you find it solely within yourself? In other words, can you be alone without being lonely?

I learned last year the most important thing, and that is like, you know, the only love that's reciprocal is love of self. You really have to like yourself. That's the thing. And that's the only thing you can't rely on other people. That's whack. It's so whack to be like, please fill in these holes in me that, like, I don't think I'm strong enough.

Like, that's whack. Like, you've got to like yourself enough to be like, no, this idea is cool and I like it. What happened to she completes me? Oh, that, that's stupid. That's dumb. To be like, oh, she's completely. Like, this person completes me. He's like, no, that person's a really good friend.

Sometimes I have sex with them. It's great. But they are on this journey with me, and if they left, it'd be okay. Conclusions. 305 is constructed like a Trojan horse. While on its surface, it sounds like a simple pop or love song. When properly unpacked, we discover, a song that actually addresses a deep fear of solitude and the search for companionship amidst the

existential loneliness we all feel. Existential thinkers across centuries have as described this type of loneliness as an innate feature of the human heart, something unrelated to one's marital status, number of friends, or family members. Rather, it's an unavoidable feature of who we are, part of the gift and curse of consciousness, the knowledge that we, despite the people around us, are alone and ultimately will die alone. This deeper kind of loneliness rises from a paradox many existential thinkers observe in human existence. On one hand, each of us are unique, and thus subjectivity is required to carve out a life of meaning and purpose specific to that uniqueness. There is no one-size-fits-all prescription for a meaningful life. It's going to be different for

different people, and it's up to us, individually, to find and define it for ourselves. But at the same time, there's a side of us that depends on others to become more fully human, that seeks connection by connecting our individual existence to the existence of others. We intuitively seek relationships and bonds, and those bonds can be some of the most meaningful things in our lives, and it's the tension inherit in this dichotomy, being separate but together, alone but connected to the whole of humanity that gives rise to existential loneliness. A loneliness felt no matter how happy your marriage is, no matter how many friends and family members you have. When confronted with this kind of loneliness, we are thus confronted with the existential questions of life itself. Who am I? Why do I exist? What gives

life meaning? Does any of this really matter? And when I die, what about me, if anything, lives on. Is there anything about me that death cannot destroy? In the face of such questions, many of us run from the challenging introspection they require. Like the philosophical juggernaut Friedrich Nietzsche said, quote, one man runs to his neighbor because he is looking for himself, and another because he wants to lose himself. Your bad love of yourselves makes solitude a prison for you, unquote. Some of us are scared of solitude, and so we seek solace and marriage, in relationships and recently in social media. 2005 is a record that I think is just about, you know, being alone.

Like, you know, I think a lot of us have a problem with being alone now just because we're never alone. You can always pick up your phone. And being alone is sometimes natural, but it's also scary. And, you know, whether it's your girl or your mom or, you know, your brother or whoever, you know, like I want to make a song about, you know, being there for someone, even if you're, you know, even if you feel lonely, you don't feel like you can really connect like there's always somebody there. Sure.

Here in the final scene of Because the Internet's second act, the boy is experiencing a loneliness that despite his best efforts is not curable by romantic love, nor is he able to mask it with drugs, sex, wealth, friends, ego, and cynicism any longer. Spurred by the World Star shooting, we've seen the effectiveness of these distractions erode over the course of the second act. when the fear, loneliness, and insecurity began rising to the surface, the boy's instinct, like Nietzsche noted, was to run, run haphazardly to Oakland in a desperate attempt to rekindle a romantic relationship, hoping it might subdue his crisis. When that failed him, he grew frustrated with himself, who he is, and lashed out at the end of sweatpants. Now, while witnessing a wedding at the hotel, he's contemplating the validity of a single person, a single connection, as a means

means of giving your life purpose and meaning, society's often unquestioned prescription for absolving loneliness. More than that, he's questioning everything around him. 3,05's verses find him doubting the validity of his friendships, admitting that he's scared of the future, claiming no one has life figured out, observing how we blow our time, money, and energy on meaningless endeavors, and noting that he's lost all hope of a happy ending. His existential crisis is intensifying, and he even entertained. the thought of taking his own life. The song's hook then is a desperate plea in the midst of this crisis. It's a clarion call into the void, a rescue rope thrown overboard into the vastness of an

empty black sea. The question is, will someone, something, anything respond? Will he find purpose? Will he find connection? It seems that for now, Gambino has his doubts, as the phrase that appears most in the song is, hold up, a pessimistic statement. that undercuts the forever ever commitment to a romantic partner, being for him, a satisfactory source of singular purpose. And so while Gambino or the boy might not know what kind of connection he's looking for yet, what he does know is the friends and partygoers he's been surrounding himself with aren't fulfilling him, and they need to leave now.

This violent outburst is a defining moment in Act 3 of Because the Internet. An act will examine note by note, line by line, next time on Dysect. Today's episode of Dysect was written by Camden Ostrander and me. Remember, you can go deeper into the world of because the internet through the supplementary guides on our website, Dysectpodcast.com. Specifically for today's episode, we've created a short video that analyzes 3,05's music video, and should be considered required viewing in tandem with this episode. Be sure to check out our limited season 7 merchandise.

also be sure to follow us on social media at Dissect Podcast. Today's episode was edited by Eric Bass and me. Song Recreations by Andrew Atlin. Theme music by Bureaucratic. Okay, thanks everyone. Talk to you next week.