Dissect - S9E16 - Surf by Mac Miller

Episode Date: February 15, 2022

We continue our analysis of Mac Miller’s Circles with “Surf.” Follow Dissect on Tiktok, Instagram, and Twitter. Purchase The Book of Mac by Donna-Claire Chesman here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Very few sounds soothe us like the surf lapping on the shore. It's the ocean's meditative breath, its natural rhythm. And so it's only natural that we would seek to experience the water's energy, to surf, to harmonize with the waves. While the danger of being pulled under is ever present, to ride a wave is to put your trust in the very thing that has the potential to devastate you. It's kind of like love that way. In his continued motific exploration of water, the penultimate track of Circles finds MacMiller surfing and perfect harmony with the world of his own making, putting his faith in love the same way a surfer trusts the water to return him safely to shore.

From Spotify, I'm Cole Kushner and this is Dissect, long-form musical analysis broken into short digestible episodes. Today we continue our serialized examination of MacMiller Circles with its penultimate track, Surf. Surf was produced by MacMiller and John Bryan. Keeping in line with the minimal, intimate production approach of circles, the track centers around a simple four-court progression played on guitar. Miscellaneous background sounds filter in and out while Mac warms up his voice. There's a sense that the track is coming together in real time, almost like a jam session that turned to gold.

This loose and provisatory feel continues throughout the track. Bass doesn't enter until nearly a minute in, and drums not until a minute and a half. It's a slow build. The track is unhurried and taking its time, just like Mac has been learning to do throughout circles. playground for me and you And we could be fine Who the hell knows It's your eyes and your ears

And your mouth and your nose Head and your shoulders Your knees and your toes Before beginning the first verse Surf begins with a series of haze A staple MacMiller ad lib In the world of posthumist releases These kinds of familiar organic impulses

take on extra importance, the kind of raw human moments that reunite us with the spirit of those who have passed. Thus, even from beyond, Mac sets us at ease, very much with us as we begin this five-minute odyssey through love and growth. Once that comfortability is established, Mac begins surf with an essential question, said, where are you going? Can I come too? This isn't the first time on circles that Mac asked to follow a nameless figure. Recall that on Woods, Mac said, when you're leaving, where you go, can I come? There seem to be a hint of desperation in Mac's asking on Woods, but by the time of surf, there is far more resolve present. While he seems to still be battling a fear of being alone, we'll see that surf presents a mentally stronger Mac, more inclined to stay

optimistic despite his internal worries. Thus we get the following lines, the whole world is open, a playground for me and you. The image here displays an incredibly sweet, childlike curiosity and approach to love. Often we instill our youth with affirmations that encourage them that anything is possible, that the world and future is theirs for the taking. Mack uses that subtext to underscore his vision of the limitlessness of love and intimacy. Specifically, the playground is a symbol of adventure, wonder, and continued discovery. The way playground seemed larger than life when we're kids is the same way Mack sees the world with his lover. He then continues, and we could be fine, shit, who the hell knows? The openness of the playground presents a bit of

of uncertainty, but Mac attempts to assure his partner by continuing his optimistic view of their future together. This line, combined with Mac asking his leaving lover if he can come with her, seems to imply that the relationship could be in peril, that his partner is upset, or they're worried about the sustainability of their future together. Despite this subtext, Mack's tone displays a lack of brooding concern, as he is evidently moving with the flow of life, just how the surf endlessly laps against the shore. Mac then declares, it's your eyes and your ears and your mouth and your nose, head and your shoulders, your knees, and your toes. Staying consistent with a childlike playground mood, Mac alludes to the nursery rhyme, head, shoulders, knees, and toes. We hear

stories about relationships unlocking and soothing someone's inner child, and here Mac is bringing that child to the fore. Importantly, Mac isn't objectifying his partner here as he avoids describing body parts in a way that is overtly sexual. Rather, it seems he's genuinely enamored by their beauty. To reflect this, Mac adds a number of vocal harmonies to these lines, elevating them above the others. Just like Mack's lover stands out in a crowd, so do these lines, as Mac uses musical accents to reflect how this person makes him feel. Got her head in the clouds Don't need to be lower

Before it's all over I promise we'll figure it out I ain't coming down With verse 2 bass enters the track Continuing the song's slow build Mack sings I dream of this moment Will it come true

The whole world they know it They just waiting for me and you Mac is playing with big ideas here The world he opened up into a playground For his partner is now staring back at him With expectant eyes It was almost the sense

that love is royal in the serf universe, and Mac in this unnamed person are the high rulers. Yet Mac wondering whether his visions will come true continues the subtextual layer of conflict beneath his grand vision of love in the future. That is to say, does this person feel the same way? Do they envision their future with this same sense of grandeur and bliss? Mac then continues, and she, just like I, got her head in the clouds. There's a sense of oneness here as Mac dissolves any differences between him and the she. Placing the couple in the clouds, nearly deifies them. They are partners in the truest sense of the word, and Mac makes it clear they share the same zeal and sense of wonder in life. He flips the negative connotations surrounding

having your head in the clouds, making it sound like a sweet refuge, just like the playground, making daydreaming sound tangible and permanent. Of course, siding clouds and a love song calls to mind Dunno from swimming, or Mac used a central image of being in the clouds as a destination that offered refuge from the pressures on the ground. And as we documented in our episode on Dunnow, The cloud motif is unavoidably associated with Mack's past girlfriend, Ariana Grande, possibly the intended subject of this song. In any case, Mac continues by vowing that this mutual space in the clouds is sustainable, singing,

Don't Need to Be Lower, Before it's all over, I promise we'll figure it out. As close as Mac and his love can come to an eternity together, they're still just people, and Mac understands that they will still have to work in spite of how incredible the relationship sounds. Like we've heard many times throughout swimming in circles, the sky and the sea, the high and low tides of life, are presented simultaneously. Much like the tides rise and fall is natural, so too is this love.

The central image of surf then comes from the ease with which Mack tackles romance here. His relaxed tone, which is matched by the laid-back production, mimics the latent nature of a literal surf. It's at this point that we also understand Mack's dedication to another is implicitly a dedication to the self, too. Across circles, we've heard Matt clearing out the clutter in his head. heard him finding his footing as a creative and as a man. And of course, this means he's more prepared to be a partner than ever before. You have to show up for yourself so you can truly show up for the relationships in your life. I ain't coming down.

Why would I need to? So much of this world is above us, baby. They might tell you that I went crazy. I'm just trying to preach you. Matt continues the verse singing, I ain't coming down. why would I need to? Here he speaks to our desires to suspend time when we feel the natural high of a pure and worked on love. Mac is choosing to keep himself vulnerable in the sky, to keep his

palms open to whatever splendors may land in them, and to be comfortable with those very splendors drifting off as their time comes. Recalls the finality of the previous line before it's all over, speaking to Mac's acceptance of the passage of time. He's nothing short of a sage here. And just when we think he can't get any higher, Mack sings, so much of this world is above us. He blows the world he's constructing on Surf out even further, developing the universe for his love in real time, perhaps implying that as high as they are now, there's potential to go even further, to be even happier. Also, this idea that things can be above us in terms of information being out of reach implies there's something ethereal and potentially wonderful

shrouding all of surf. Notably, Mac refers to it as this world, not the world, marking a distinction between the actual world and the self-contained world Mac envisions he and his love exists in when together. When we notice this slight distinction in wording, the penultimate line of the verse becomes a little inside joke between us and Mac. He sings, they might tell you that I went crazy. Obviously, Mac Miller doesn't have the power to reshape time and space as he sings about here on surf. The naysayers might look at any overt, unabashed expression of love and call it crazy. We think of Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah's couch and his infamous declaration of love for Katie Holmes, and the media's subsequent spin that Cruz went crazy. But if we allow ourselves to be

music fans, lovers, and feeling people, we realize there's nothing outlandish or outrageous about this world Mac is created on surf, on circles, or even across his decade-plus music career. He's doing what artists do best, which is to accurately transform felt emotion into art, creating worlds that attempt to resemble the way certain experiences or people make us feel. The verse then ends with Mack centering us on his intentions with his partner, singing, I'm just trying to read you. Maybe Mac here is wondering if his partner also thinks he's crazy, trying to read her reaction to his grand vision of the world they create together. There's also the chance Mac is saying, I'm just trying to reach you, perhaps continuing the

subtext of a relationship at odds. Mac is striving higher and higher on the track, trying to reach his lever in the clouds. After this second verse, we get the first iteration of the song's chorus. We'll dissect that, along with the rest of Surf, right after the break. Welcome back to dissect. Before the break, we heard Mack laying out his majestic vision of a limitless future with his lover, something that continues into Surf's Hook. I know we try and the day's day go by until we get home. There's water in the flowers, let's grow. People they lie, but hey so do I. Until it gets home, there's water in the flowers, let's grow. Surf's hook begins, I know we try, and the days they go by.

There's a blurring here between Max speaking about himself and his partner and speaking about the universal we, another means of inviting the listener closer into this world he is so delicately spinning. The simplicity of the line keeps with the youthful tone of the track, yet it encapsulates so much of our experience of life. We're all out here trying, doing what we can with what we have. Sometimes we're trying our best, sometimes not, and regardless of our condition, time marches on. the days go by. Both time and the universe's indifference have been motifs developed throughout circles, as Mac continues to reckon with the reality that we will not live forever, and that we are but the tiniest disintegrating specks lost in the vastness of the universe. While that larger

reality has the potential to be devastating, there's also great freedom in it, as we're free to construct our own reality to some degree. It calls to mind something Mac said at the time of swimming's release about the freedom he found and not caring about how he was perceived by others. quote, you have to have your own reality and that has to be the driving force of your life, unquote. On surf, we actually find him creating his reality, this world he's building with his lover. And in the face of the harshest realities of life in the universe, Mac stays optimistic, singing, until we get old, there's water in the flowers, let's grow. Mack here positions life as an ever-evolving journey.

Growth isn't something that only happens during our transition from youth to adulthood. Rather, it sustains our entire life. In terms of the relationship Mac describes on the track, Mac envisions nurturing it into old age the way he might nurture a plant. That is, ongoing effort is required to keep it alive. In a bit of clever wordplay, he takes the commonplace phrase, Let's Go, and changes it ever so subtly to Let's Grow. Mack and his partner are going and growing into the future and doing better.

There's also a subtle invocation of a circle in these lines. We are faced with the circle of life and the idea of getting old, the life cycle of flowers, and the reminder that growth is non-linear and feeds into itself from growing by yourself to growing with another person, the way the surf feeds into the shore. Finally, the implication of water as a life source of course evokes the central motif of swimming in circles. Much of swimming specifically showcases the way water can take a life, be it drowning or the physical act of swimming itself being required to navigate rough waters. But here on surf, water is a life giver. It feels like a reward

for the swimming, waiting, and growing Mac did across the previous album. This is a very quiet, almost placid development of the water motif, but it speaks volumes to what surf meets to swimming and circles. This fusion of growth, the world, and love, be it a love of self or another, calls to mind something Mac proclaimed during an Instagram live stream he did from his garden. The natural energy of the planet is a feminine energy. It's nurturing. It gives birth to life in...

these beautiful plants you see around me. You know what I mean? That's a feminine energy. So you got to love, you got to appreciate a female. You got to do what you've got to do to keep these plants growing, you know. Mack continues surf's chorus singing, people, they lie. But hey, so do I. Mack here humanizes himself, including himself in the universal observation

about the dishonesty of humans. It recalls the press Mac did. leading up to swimming and how he spent much of his time reminding fans he's merely a person, immensely loved and talented, but a person nonetheless. The next line, until it gets old, contains a slight but important change from the first time we heard it just moments ago, when Mack saying, until we get old. The shift from we to it implies that we're now talking about Max's shortcomings as a person, and we realize that the idea of lying is just a stand-in for the way we're all fallible and flawed. This is a typical Mac Miller move, making himself appear as one of

us because he is. The hook ends once again with there's water in the flowers, let's grow. The repetition here suggests this is the central and most powerful image of the song. When taken with the sky-high imagery of the first verse, the notion of the flowers can be almost cartoonish. We can imagine these flowers soaring up into the clouds to meet Mac where he's at, and we realize that's the whole point of this track. We're being guided on a journey of forgiveness and acceptance of ourselves and our relationships to meet each other where we are with the promise of watering our flowers so we can become who we need each other to be. Mac performs the song's post-chorus, singing,

Let it Go, Let It Be, for all we need today. There's a note of surrender here, again recalling the song title and how we have no actual control over the surf itself, finding peace in that discovery. It's a worldview in line with the Taoist principles of acceptance, detachment from desire, and in the moment presence we've discussed throughout our analysis of circles. The we and we're all we need today also continues to evoke both the universal and the specific lover described in surf,

showcasing Mack's ability to include everyone, even in his most intimate expressions. And it's here that we realize that the water in those flowers is each other, that we are each other's life source, that we are all we need to grow, to reach the extravagant heights Mac vividly illustrates through this song. It's a beautiful declaration of faith and humanity and the power of community, trusting that despite how we all lie, despite our myriad of flaws, we are better together than we are divided. And as if to exemplify his own proclamation,

Mac continues by repeating the first line of the post-chorus, let it go, but then hums the rest. These hums are crucial in that they are carefree and pleasing to the ear, suggesting that Mac is finding himself at peace, harmonizing with the world he's creating. But it's more when I'm standing in crowds that I'm feeling the most on my own. And I know that somebody knows me. I know somewhere else home.

I'm starting to see that all I have to do is get up and go. Continuing the human admissions conveyed in the chorus, Mack begins the second verse singing, Sometimes I get lonely, not when I'm alone. These moments of clarification are, essential in that they remind us of Max's own afflictions, his suffering, and how he needs serfs themes just as much as the listener. He continues by describing a trigger for his loneliness, but it's more when I'm standing in crowds that I'm feeling the most on my own.

This kind of loneliness amongst crowds is a common pain point for celebrities, but it also speaks to a more general scenario experienced by those with social anxiety. Being around other people doesn't mean you feel connected with them, and sometimes this can actually exacerbate loneliness because those strangers remind you of all. the connections you wish you had, but don't. Recalls Mack's opening lines on swimming when he's saying, I got neighbors who more like strangers, we could be friends, as Mac recognizes the potential for connection, but struggles to take action toward that aim. But with the next lines of surf, Mac remains hopeful, singing, I know that somebody knows me, I know somewhere there's home,

I'm starting to see that all I have to do is get up and go. In the same way Mac was looking for a way out of his head on swimming's opening track, or the way he was trying to reach the other side to close door on good news, Mac here communicates an understanding that connection and comfort only exists if one acts, if he just gets up and enters the playground. While interacting with the world can be scary and vulnerable, it also offers unrivaled rewards like love and companionship. This moment of Mac discovering and acknowledging agency is powerful, showcasing the growth experience across swimming in circles. Just like those watered flowers on surf's chorus, we've witnessed Mac blooming into something wholly elegant and beautiful.

Going, Go and With anthemic-like repetition, Mac recites the song's bridge, singing, Going, Going, Before I'm Gone. The movement here implies that Mack has acted on the realization at the end of verse 2. He's gotten up, opened that closed door, and went outside. While we've heard moments of action similar to this on swimming in circles, this moment on surf, the penultimate track of the 25 song Double Album, feels special. He's outwardly joyous, almost celebratory, painting the experience of getting out of your own head as something spectacular,

a beautiful parting message as we approach the closing chapter of the project. We also find Mack here thinking of circles once again. Before I'm Gone speaks directly to the chorus about getting old and getting right with yourself before your mortal time is up. This is further understood when we realize that Mac is likely playing off the common phrase, going, going, gone, used by baseball announcers as a batter hits a home run. and when a player hits a home run, they round the bases, from home plate back to home plate, a complete circle around the diamond. This is fitting symbolism for the allusions to mortality in this line,

evoking that iconic final line of So It Goes, just like a circle I go back where I'm from. Mack understands that we're all going until we're gone, but within this baseball framework, we're simply going back home. This baseball reference also continues the theme of adolescence and the playground symbolism present throughout surf. In fact, it would seem that baseball and playgrounds have been intertwined in Mack's mind since he was a kid. When Mack took a local Pittsburgh News Channel on a tour of Blue Slide Park around the release of that album, they walked right from the baseball field to the playground, something he did regularly as a child.

I used to play baseball up there, and after every game, you would like run right to the slide. Ironically, in line with the going, going, gone lyric, this new segment ended with one final joking regret. Star of Blue Slide Park has only one regret. I never hit one home run here my whole life, you know that? Not until his album hit one out of the park. Going, going, going before I'm going, days they go by until we get home. There's water and the flowers, let's grow. People. Righting the high of the bridge, retreated to one. final chorus. Now there's water in the flowers let's grow, feels even more like a moral imperative. Notably, Mac is not actively watering the flowers in this image. He's noting they've already been

tended to. Thus, surf is about understanding the tools already present in love, the self, and our connection with others. This is how we grow with what we have, together. There's pain, loss, and confusion, but there's still so much to experience and enjoy in this life. It's at this point we might recall the very beginning of the album, and Mack's opening words, this is what it looked like right before you fall. The album began in a state of peril, and we close out with this incredible feeling of peace, being one with the world around us, a world of our own making. And similar to Max humming earlier, we find him now fiddling around on the bass guitar

in an extended musical outro, totally free and in harmony with his environment. It's incredibly fitting that Surf ends with Mack playing this wandering bass solo, because the song represents that let it go, let it be mentality in its music as well as its lyrics. It's not like Mac is some virtuosic bass player, just like he isn't some expert singer. But that's kind of the point. He's working with what he has, with the water already in his flowers, accepting that as enough and cultivating something pure and beautiful and true. Be it the playground, baseball, or bass guitar, Mac is as free as a child.

He's surfing. He's totally given himself over to the music. the waves, harmonious with the water, floating onto shore. And the goal of surfing is to make it to shore, much like the goal of swimming in circles is to make it, period. Once and for always, Mac is surviving in perfect time with this world he's come to love. This episode was written by Donna Claire Chesman, Camden Ostrander, and me. If you enjoyed today's episode, please tell a friend or share on social media. It really helps. Theme music by Bureaucratic. Audio editing by Eric Bass and me. All right, thanks everyone. Talk to you to

next week.