Dissect - S9E9 - Dunno / Jet Fuel by Mac Miller

Episode Date: November 30, 2021

We continue our season-long analysis of Mac Miller’s Swimming with two tracks united by clouds: “Dunno” and “Jet Fuel.” Shop Season 9 merchandise here. Follow Dissect on Tiktok, Instagram, and Twitter. This season includes discussion of substance misuse and addiction. For resources on these topics, visit spotify.com/resources. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Since coming back to Earth on Swimming's opening track, we've witnessed MacMailer continually pursue flight and the weightless freedom that comes with a clear mind and focus on the present. On wings, he flaps and sores. On ladders, he celebrates the climb. On Conversations Part 1, he orbits outer space in a spaceship. And as swimming continues, so too does Mack's relentless pursuit of levity. On the album's next two tracks, he contrasts two types of clouds, two different highs that will ultimately conflict with one another, forcing a down, a sobering descent back to reality.

From Spotify, I'm Cole Kushna and this is Dissect, long-form musical analysis broken into short digestible episodes. Today we continue our serialized examination of Mac Miller swimming with its 10th and 11th tracks, Dunno and Jet Fuel. Dunno was produced by Parson Brown with additional production by John Bryan and Mac Miller. Matt getting additional production credits seems like an inside joke of sorts. Seeing as Parson Brown was one of Mac's many producer aliases, joining Larry Fisherman, delusional Thomas, and a handful of others.

Parson Brown was a name that was born in the swimming era, but the only other song produced under this alias being Buttons, which was part of a three pack of songs released shortly before swimming. Similar to John Doe, Parson Brown is a generic fictional name that's used to refer to priests in the 18th century, as heard in the famous holiday song Winter Wonderland. In the meadow we can build a snowman and pretend that he is Parson Brown

He'll say, are you married? We'll say no man, but you can do the job when you're in town. Here in Winter Wonderland, Parson Brown is a name given to a snowman who is to officiate the wedding between the couple described in the song. Mack has never publicly stated anything about the Parson Brown alias, though he did create a Twitter handle with no avatar for the fictional character in May of 2018. Given Parson Brown's association with a snowman, perhaps Mack chose this name as a drug reference. Mac has previously likened himself to snow-inhabiting creatures like a Yeti for snow's resemblance to substances like powder cocaine. But there's also another possibility for the alias, and it has to do with Mack's romantic relationship with Ariana Grande. While we've tried our best to avoid tabloid territory this season, of all the songs on swimming, Dunno is the most forthright in its multiple references to Grande, her interests, and songs.

We can think about the Parson Brown nickname in this context, as one of the first things Mack and Ariana did together years before they were romantically involved, was record the holiday song Baby It's Cold Outside in 2012. In addition to this collaboration, it was reported that Grande has always wanted a winter wonderland themed wedding. This, coupled with Parson Brown's association with Winter Wonderland and weddings, is enough to at least speculate that this alias might have been inspired by Mack and Gros' relationship, which lasted two years, beginning in 2016 and ending in May of 2018. It's with this in mind that we'll dive into Denno's lyrics.

Yeah. She do whatever she liked. And that just don't seem right. Yeah. Make people so mad. Yeah. They weren't so bad. Well, we was fucking almost missed my flight.

I wasn't even tripping. I said it's all right. Mack opens the song tenorily, singing, she do whatever she like, and that just don't seem right. At first, this couple feels like a personal complaint that Mack is addressing a kind of inconsiderate freedom his partner enjoys. But the following lines provide additional context, yeah, make people so mad, yeah, they want her so bad. This seems to imply that opening lines weren't a personal complaint, but rather an observation about his partner's relationship with the public, that these people would like to see her move or

act in a certain way, yet she refuses, leaving them angry and wanting more. In this way, the opening now feels more like admiration of her freedom of spirit, despite the pressures and expectations placed on her. Mack then continues, We was fucking almost missed my flight. I wasn't even tripping. I said it's all right. First, we acknowledge the bit of wordplay here, that after missing his flight, he's not tripping,

not worried, but also not going on his planned trip. We've heard a scenario like this before back on ladders when Mac rapped, all the lights flickering, hitting the right switches, I'm living this life different and missing the flight, bullshiting. Throughout swimming, bullshitting has been a word used by Mack to mean indulgence, either sex, drugs, or spending money. Here in Dunno, it seems the thread continues, as Mac recounts missing his flight due to sex. But instead of a confession of indulgence, here it feels more sincere, that he had prioritized intimacy and time together more than the rigidness of his work schedule. There will always be another flight, and the time they spent together was much more valuable

in comparison. As the verse continues, Mac provides more details of this night together. It was coughing when you hit my weed But I've never seen you feel that free So cute you want to be like me Wouldn't you rather get along Wouldn't you rather get along Mack continued singing You was coughing when you hit my weed

But I've never seen you feel that free So cute you want to be like me My weed coughing and be like me Seems to imply that Mack's partner Does not usually indulge in marijuana use but once again in admiration, Mack notes that he's never seen are so free. Perhaps this is an alleviation from anxiety, which we know Grande struggles with, as well as the pressures of being a celebrity, where people are always so mad and water so bad.

The fact she would feel safe enough with Mack to get high with him, to have new experiences, speaks to the intimacy and comfort of the relationship. Finally, the verse ends with the refrain, wouldn't you rather get along? And Max's continued preoccupation with travel, the road, and motion, it seems he's wondering if his partner really wants to stay with him on his journey, or if they'd rather move on. Perhaps Mac is worried that his partner is finding relief in the aforementioned high, as the path he's taken with substances has been riddled with obstacles. Instead of following him in this sense, he'd like her to get along, to go her own way.

Another reading of this line suggests that Mac is pushing someone away as they find intimacy, almost as if he doesn't believe he can let someone in to everything, or he doesn't feel like his path is safe for anyone else. At the same time, Get Along could also refer to friendliness, in which case Mac is either reinforcing the desire for the relationship to be cooperative or encouraging the drug use that relieves worry, so that everything can be fine in their mind. This leads us into the song's tender chorus. As you listen, notice how Mack begins in a low register with the first line until there is no longer. On the word longer, he rises in pitch, an ascension that brings us to the line,

let's get lost inside the clouds. Appropriately, this is sung in a high, airy, a musical reflection of the clouds he sings of. He'll remain in this ethereal register until the final line, I can calm you down, where fittingly, he moves down to a lower register again. It's an absolutely stunning passage. Mack begins the chorus singing, until there is no longer, let's get lost inside the cloud. Here Mac develops a cloud motif that began back on perfecto with the line, my feet on the clouds, head on the ground. On small worlds he wrapped, but the sun's coming out now, clouds start to move. Then on Conversations Part 1, he said, my head up in the clouds, but my feet be on the pavement. In each of these examples, clouds seem to be used to imply a levity or foggy headspace provided by drugs.

On Dunnow, within the context of the portrait Mac painted in the first verse, where the two are spending time together, having sex and smoking weed, until there is no longer feels like a call to enjoy every last moment together, until they both have to return to their work, until Mac has to catch the next flight. In this way, getting lost inside the the cloud might literally refer to the cloud of marijuana smoke that billows in the room they're sharing. But removed from this specific moment, this couplet carries a more universal sentiment, both an acknowledgement of our mortality and possibly the relationship's potential end. All too aware of the highs and lows of experience, Mac is urging them to enjoy the high while

they have it, to enjoy the freedom and levity of being lost in the clouds, where things are hazy, where you're not worried or anxious about what's ahead of you, because you can't see it clearly anyway. In terms of their traditional symbolism, clouds feel like an appropriate choice for Mack's depiction of this euphoric state. In some Eastern thought, clouds are considered the union of yin and yang because they fuse the elements of water and air, sky and earth, all motifs Mac has used throughout swimming. From this idea, clouds can symbolize making love as the union of male and female. In Zen Buddhism, practitioners are likened to clouds because they are able to float freely without the constraints or limitations of attachment and take on any shape similar to flowing

water. Throughout swimming, we've witnessed Mack attempting to reach this lightness and balance, which she achieves at least temporarily when spending intimate moments with his lover. Finally, Mack's use of clouds also feels like a direct nod to Ariana Grande and her fondness of clouds. She often uses the cloud emoji on social media, has a tattoo of clouds, and even has her own perfume named Cloud. Mac continues the chorus singing, And you don't got to work harder, I can calm you down.

Once again, Mac is offering himself as a source of comfort, advising her that her attempts at alleviating her anxiety by working more isn't going to help. As we know, Mac is no stranger to working hard to the point of it being an addiction, so it feels like this is advice coming from someone who has lived a similar experience, someone who has tried unsuccessfully to work himself out of a funk. Instead, staying consistent with his focused attempts to stay present in the moment throughout swimming, Mac insists that he can calm her down, that just being together, fully present in this moment in the cloud, is enough to relieve her stress.

Given all the talk of clouds and Mac is a source of comfort, we have to acknowledge some parallels between this chorus and Grande's own hit, Breathe In, a song that directly addresses her battle with anxiety and panic attacks, which were exacerbated after the domestic terrorist bombing that took place at her concert in Manchester in May of 2017, killing 22 and injuring hundreds. Here in the second verse, Grande sings, Sometimes it's hard to find my way up into the clouds. Tune and out, they can be so loud.

You remind me of a time when things weren't so complicated. All I need to see is your face. Like Mac addressed in the opening of verse 1, Grande here acknowledges overwhelming noise from the outside, with the clouds being a place above that chaos. She then turns to a love interest who helps her reach these proverbial clouds, saying that all she needs to see is his face. This feels like a pretty strong parallel to Mac's own chorus on Dunnard.

as Mack offered himself as a source of calm, someone who can escort her into the clouds. The second verse begins with a disconnect, a sharp contrast from everything we heard until this point. Mac sings, I was busy when you hit my phone, but you miss me, told me come back home, and you don't really like to sleep alone, but I'm taking too long, I'm always taking too long. This notion of taking too long and keeping others waiting has been a constant theme on swimming. On the chorus of Small Worlds, Max sang, she hated when I call and it's late. I don't want to keep you waiting, I hope I never keep you waiting. On ladders, just after saying he missed his flight due to bullshitting, he rapped,

I had a plan to change, you can't stand the rain, little delay, but I came, and you're cool with it. In our interpretations of these lines, we suggested that waiting was being used to imply Mack's attempts to change, specifically in relation to his drug use, leaving his love interest waiting around for him to get his life together. Here on Dunnow, that interpretation could fit, but it could also be that Mac was busy working, presumably on music, which might be coupled with drug use. Either way, Mac is painting a portrait of disconnect, of the two away from each other, with her feeling lonely and not wanting to sleep alone, and Mac not able or willing to come right away. It's possible Mac is also nodding to the song The Way, his 2013 collaboration

with Grande. It's here he paints a similar scenario of a woman calling his cell, feeling lonely and not wanting to sleep alone. As Dunno continues, Mack picks up the pace a little and adds additional vocal layers behind him. Fittingly, there's an instrumental pause between him saying that he's always taking too long and his next lines. And when he does begin again, he's talking about switching gears, reflecting the switch or change in his vocal cadence. Like, if we don't need a trip, we could be right here.

When the shit get weird, we can switch up gears. I want to see them lips, kiss and ear to end. I want to hear your song. Oh, I want to feel just how you feel. So I know you're real, we could spin that wheel. Wouldn't you better get alone? Mack sings, baby we don't need a trip. We could be right here.

Once again, Mac is pushing for more presence and stillness in the moment, instead of always running around, taking flights and trips. Given that these lyrics come after the disconnect described in the verse's opening lines, Matt could also be saying that despite his lateness, there's no need to trip or get upset, just as he didn't trip when he missed his flight back on verse 1. He continues, when the shit gets. get weird, we could switch up gears. Switching up gears typically means to move faster or slower than you currently are, so Mac seems to be saying that when issues arise, they can simply adjust

as needed. The next couplet is tender and poetic, as Mac croons, I want to see them lips kissing ear to ear, I want to hear your song. Lips kissing ear to ear seems like a creative, romantic way to say he wants to see her smile. Typically, one wants to kiss their partner's lips, but Mac emphasizes her personal happiness over their relationship. The focus is a lot of the Focus on ear then morphs to hearing her song, which is more evidence that Dunno is specifically about Grande, a singer-songwriter. Given that songs can often transmit emotions in a way simple language cannot, it seems Mack is wanting to both support her art, but also use her songs as an opportunity to get closer to understanding everything she is feeling or going through. This leads to the

following line, Oh, I just want to feel how you feel. Touch you one more time so I know you're real. With Mack just talking about hearing her song, it's possible this line as a reference to Grande R-E-M, which appears on the same 2018 album as the aforementioned breathing. This was Grande's favorite song from that album, and its premise is that love is so good that it can feel like a dream, similar to Mack's own desire to touch his lover one more time to ensure that she's real. Mack then closes out his verse singing, We could spin that wheel, wouldn't you rather get along. Typically the phrase spin that wheel means to waste time achieving nothing, going nowhere. subtle development of the circles motif that will bridge us into swimming's companion album circles.

Given that Mack was just addressing a disconnect or even an argument in the beginning of the verse, it's possible he's saying that they could spin that wheel or argue pointlessly, but he'd rather they'd just get along and enjoy each other's presence. But spinning a wheel could also mean something akin to rolling dice or taking a chance, which falls in line with Mac using gambling references throughout swimming to refer to relationship dynamics. When making a bet, you're using intuition and relative information to inform your wager, but there's never any certainty. There's always risk in a certain amount of faith, and Mack likens these dynamics to a relationship's inherent vow of commitment. While all couples

will face conflicts, some inconsequential, some catastrophic, by placing your bet, spinning the wheel, taking a chance, you're putting your faith in the bond and love you share to be able to weather the storms. This leads to a third possible meaning of spin that wheel, being a reference to the classic Wheel of Fortune. In medieval and ancient philosophy, the Wheel of Fortune symbolized the volatility of fate. The wheel was said to belong to the goddess Fortuna who spins it at random, changing the positions of those on the wheel and thus changing their fates. Some suffer, some gain. Often the goddess is depicted as being blindfolded, which relays the randomness of the universe and the circumstances we are born into. The wheel of fortune and fate being controlled by a

divine feminine figure seems like an analogy Mack would be fond of. In this reading, Mac would be placing his faith in the wheel, in the goddess, willing to take the risk, allowing the wheel to propel them forward and get along. After a repetition of the chorus, Dunno blooms into an expansive outro section. Mack adds background harmonies along with a new synth part played by John Bryan. This thicker musical texture feels like a moment of arrival, almost anthemic. Heightened further by Max's universal refrain, I think we just might be all right, Thank God, I think we're going to be all right. All right, okay. Within the context of the song,

this seems to be more assurance to his partner that despite whatever disconnect they are dealing with, things are going to be okay. The refrain also seems to reflect Mack's attitude after he and Arianna split up. And one of the few times he addressed the breakup and her subsequent engagement to Pete Davidson, Max said, quote, I've cared about her for a long time as a person. I'm genuinely happy that's how she moved. That's good for her. Go. Keep going. As she should, I'm just being real, that's good. Now I have space for me, and that's great too, unquote. And while We Gonna Be All Right is a common enough phrase,

used in a number of songs throughout history, we might wonder if Mack was again citing another of Grande's songs, 2016's Be All Right. While we can't be sure this was an intentional reference, the optimistic Everything is Going to Be All right was a sentiment that resonated with both Mac and Ariana. In the wake of Mack's passing, Grande posted a video of Mac laughing,

wearing a sweater that said, Everything will be okay. She also tweeted the same phrase a few days later as well as posted a screenshot of her listening to Dunno, adding a number of cloud emojis to the photo. The song's final two lines provide more evidence that Mack might have been intentionally referencing Grande's songs, as he sings,

Hold Me Close, Don't Hold Your Breath, This Feeling Your Favorite, I know. Don't Hold Your Breath feels like another reference to the aforementioned song Breathing, as Mack's presence once again provides comfort and serves as a reminder to breathe, to stay present in the moment. The final line, this feeling your favorite,

paired with the previous We Gonna Be All Right, seems to reference Mac and Erion, this collaboration, my favorite part from 2016's Divine Feminine. Seems clear with the final lines of Dono, Matt created a collage of references to Grande, proving that he did in fact hear her song, as he said in verse 2,

that he was attentive and listening, truly in tune with how she feels. Fittingly, the outro lyrics as a whole provide a meditative mantra, Mack's blueprint for the ascension into the clouds, where everything is all right. Stay close, stay present, and breathe. We'll be back right after the break. Welcome back to Dissect. Before the break, we analyze the gorgeously vulnerable Dunno, where Mack describes he and his partner existing among the clouds, present together temporarily transcending their earthly woes. As swimming continues into its next track, Jet Fuel, Mac will continue the clouds motif,

only this time with far darker connotations. Written in 2016, JetFuel is one of the earliest tracks Mac wrote that ended up making the album. Before landing on the concept of swimming, Mac had been brainstorming a possible mixtape comprised of more rap-centric tracks a la faces, and both JetFuel and Conversations Part 1 were part of that initial batch of songs. According to Quentin Cuff, the cover for this mixtape was going to be, quote, just a picture of him outside his house with a G-Wagon, unquote. Like a handful of tracks on swimming, JetFewel

Jet Fuel is split into two parts. The first comprises the majority of the song it was produced by DJ Dahhee and Steve Lacey. It begins with a chord progression on guitar, played by Lacey. On top of this, we hear a sample of Jamaican artist Cutty Ranks' 1991 song, The Stopper. As it appears on Jet Fuel, the acapella of The Stopper is slowed down and filtered, appearing alongside what sounds like ocean tides, continuing the water-inspired sounds that appear in nearly every song on swimming. In the stopper, Cutty Ranks is boasting about going to a dance hall and shutting it down with his lyrical ability and stamina, demanding the respect of his peers and praising God for his talents. Fittingly, repurposed in a song called Jet Fuel, Ranks is gassing himself up.

And with Mack's entrance on the track, we realize Ranks feels like a tone setter, as Mac will match this boastful and defiant energy. Backeroy used to want to be a superhero flying around with a cave and some bad guys I'm a head underwater but I ain't in the shower and I ain't getting baptized to the good and the bad times

all the cuts broken bones in the black eyes young motherfucker with a mad mind made a couple million off of rap lines y'all can't tell me nothing no more came from the basement under that floor you don't come close

you don't need to know him to go you don't need to know how I go because you know what you want All I want to do is the most Mac begins the verse Yeah used to want to be a superhero flying around with a cape catching bad guys. Capturing the classic youthful optimism of a child,

Mack reflects on a time when he dreamed big, when he saw his feature as being synonymous with the heroes of comic books and cartoons. We actually heard a similar sentiment back on small worlds when he rapped, Do you want it all if it's all mediocre, staring at the wall and the walls full of posters, looking at my dreams, who I want to be. I guess you've got to see it to believe.

Mac here was contrasting the more grim reality of being a celebrity with his childhood fantasy of stardom. Likewise, on Jet Fuel, Mac contrasts his dreams of being a superhero with his current state as an adult, as he continues, Now my head underwater, but I ain't in the shower and I ain't getting baptized,

which ties into the water sounds in the song's introduction. Once again, Mac presents the album's central aquatic motif, and while the danger of water and drowning was always inherent in its symbolism, it's here that Mac really accentuates that danger. His head is underwater, and he makes it clear that we shouldn't interpret this with its potentially positive kind of

such as the cleanliness of taking a shower, a euphemism for sobriety and getting clean, or the spiritual cleanse and renewal of a baptism, where one's head is momentarily dunked in holy water. Rather, Mack's head underwater here evokes drowning or even holding one's breath. Either way, it's a state Mack can't sustain for too long without severe, even fatal consequences. As if relishing in the unbaptized hedonism of drowning in vice, Mac offers a toast to the douchebags, wrapping, to the good and the bad times, all the cuts, broken bones, and the black eyes. Young motherfucker with a mad mind, made a couple million off a rap lines.

Here Mac paints his younger self as a durable, almost possessed madman who survived a series of trials and tribulations that brought him to the heights he's now reached. His defiance continues with the next lines, y'all can't tell me nothing no more, come from the basement under that floor. You don't come close, you don't even know that I'm the goat. In another instance of Mac bottling highs and lows, the goat reference here is more than a claim that he's the greatest of all time. Symbolically, goats are often used to represent the horn devil or Satan,

such as the figure of Baphomet, a winged creature with a human body and a goat head. Mack is saying that while he's the greatest, the highest, he's also got the devil in him. This simultaneity appears even more intentional when we look back at the surrounding lyrics. Mack ain't getting baptized, and his mad mind came from the basement under that floor, you know, like hell. He used to want to be a superhero and chase bad guys, but now he understands that he is both superhero and bad guy simultaneously. The thing is, Mac is telling us that we don't even know he's the goat, and at first we take that as a boast, that we don't realize Mac is the greatest rapper out here. But in its duality, it reveals that we don't know the devil within Mac, which is sort of true.

While we've praised Mac's honesty all season, there's absolutely information that we, the fans, are never privy to. And that will probably always be true. We all contain good, we all contain evil. We are both devils and angels. Being honest about this balance is what allows us to make better choices and hopefully grow. You don't need to know I'm to go. You don't need to know how I go because you know what you want. All I want to do is the most.

Backflip off the ropes. Got hook when I'm in the post. You're my girl too clutch a choke. And I ain't calling it quits. You can build a wall with your bricks. Like you talking that shit. It's like this. It's like this.

Flipper's still in my cup Get faded when I wake up Because everything is too much So what? Following his description of wanting to do the most Matt gives us an idea of what that means rapping

Backflip off the rope Sky Hook when I'm in the post Back flipping off the rope refers to professional wrestling Typically any move off the top rope is both dangerous and exciting With the backflip or Moonsault being one of the more flashy moves

In a wrestler's arsenal Similarly, the Sky Hook is a post-move in basketball that is both effective and acrobatic. Associating himself with a backflip in skyhook are thus boasts about Mack's wrapping ability and general stature, a bit of braggadocio that's been somewhat rare on swimming. Matt continues the boast with the next line, Yeah, my girl too clutch to choke. First, we acknowledge that Mac is extending the basketball reference, as clutch is a sports reference to someone who doesn't choke under pressure.

Mac is also saying that his girl doesn't choke while giving him oral sex, which by proxy would mean Mac is well endowed. There's also a third later that continues the driving motif at the album. Both clutch and choke are terms that relate to cars, with the clutch being the pedal you press down when shifting gears, otherwise you kill or choke the engine. In a manual transmission, the gears are shifted with a long gear stick, which Mac seems to use as another phallic symbol.

His girl is so good with the clutch and stick that she never chokes. The bragging continues as Mac wraps, and I ain't calling it quits, you can build a wall with your bricks, while I keep talking that shit, it's like this. After committing to his vices by saying he won't quit, Mac extends the basketball references here even more, telling his naysayers they can build a wall with their bricks,

which in basketball means a terribly missed shot. Mac is saying they can keep taking shots on him, but they're going to miss or not affect him. The wall here also joins Mac's motific use of walls throughout swimming, symbolic of obstacles on Mack's path, or the confinement of being isolated indoors. In his current cocky, assertive state, Mac is free. This takes us to the end of the verse where mac wraps,

Liquors still in my cup, get faded when I wake up, because everything is too much, so what? In a somewhat abrupt transition of subject matter, he admits there's still liquor in his cup. This seems to mean both that he's not sober, generally speaking, and that there's still some liquor in his cup from the night before, which he chooses to drink as soon as he wakes up because everything is too much. This admission of using alcohol and drugs as a coping mechanism is a red flag,

but it's doubly concerning that his worries are so intense that he feels he needs to drink from the moment he wakes up. The punctuation of so what at the end of the verse continues the aggression and defiance of the verse overall, as Mack seems to prematurely confront anyone who might have an issue with his actions. In this way, we wonder if the line, build a wall with your bricks, is referring to those around Mack trying to convince him to get sober. Mac switches from rapping to singing, saying, Woke up this morning with a bright idea, and then we hear an ad lib of Mac saying, smoke.

Recall at the end of the verse, he had just woken up to find liquor still in his cup, deciding to get faded. Here he extends the thought, as his bright ideas associated with smoking, exactly what we're not sure yet. He then sings, maybe I can exist forever right here, punctuated by the ad lib, let it run. This is clever wordplay, as let it run in hip-hop usually refers to keeping the beat looping, presumably because the artist has more to say.

But here it seems like Mac is using the phrase to also mean let the high run from the night into the next day to exist in it forever. Mack being both drunk and high then contextualizes the song's hook. Okay, okay, well, I'm gonna be here for a while longer than I did expect to. I was out of town getting lost and I was rescued. Now I'm in the clouds come down when I run out of jet fuel. But I never run out of jet fuel. Mac opens the hook switching back to rapping, while I'm gonna be here for a while, longer than I did expect to.

This can refer to several things simultaneously, his elite position in hip-hop, his current drug and alcohol-induced high he wishes to stay in forever, or simply being alive. The latter interpretation feels especially potent, given Mac's consistent references to death and dying throughout his discography. Whether opening faces by rapping, I should have died already, or as recently as the outro of small worlds where he's saying, I can feel my my fingers slipping and a motherfucking instant I'll be gone. Mac has always used the knowledge of death's proximity as a reminder to live. Mac then continues rapping, getting lost till I was rescued, continuing the constant threat of travel and motion on swimming. Specifically, this line appears to fall in line with self-care when Mac's saying, I switched to the time zone, but what do I know, spending nights hitchhiking, where will I go? We might take the lines to be a reference to Mac's worldwide

travels and his departure from Pittsburgh at the start of his music career, which contributed to his exploits and vices. Mac then ends the hook, now I'm in the clouds, come down when I run out of jet fuel, but I never run out of jet fuel. Like we heard in the previous track Dunno, Mac once again uses the clouds as a setting for his hook, insinuating a carefree levity. But while the clouds of Dunno seem to mostly refer to the feeling of bliss while in the intimate presence of his lover, now Mack's high clearly refers to drugs, as alluded to in the final lines of the first verse and the entire pre-hook. Specifically, jet fuel in relation to drugs can refer to two things, a specific strain of weed, a cross between the most renowned diesel strains, or to PCP,

a hallucinogenic commonly referred to as angel dust, rocket fuel, or jet fuel. In either case, never running out of jet fuel seems to nod to max wealth and the danger regarding his ability to buy as much drugs as he desires. I'm always like, if someone's like, you want to try this, I'm like, yeah, sure. And then it just kind of fucks you up when you have a bunch of money because like you try a drug you like it then you can buy a lot of it you know so I went through about everything but I never run out of jet feel putting 20 on a car that I don't whip I don't even put it up the driveway throwing up shots like I don't miss never put a limit on the

high stakes try to pull my car till I'm go fish you ain't gonna find a line my face I pick it up and let it go quick They want to get pushed my Yeah, I don't say nothing that I don't know Jumping out the room where in Paulo Everybody want to jump in But I'm old school, long wolf, take them on soul off Yeah

I don't need nobody I don't need to be nobody I'm just doing my thing Pick it at the crib I don't see nobody no So over there with that Mac begins the second verse wrapping 120 on a car that I don't whip

I don't even pull it up the driveway On the surface, this feels like a boast about his Mercedes-Benz G-Wagon, a rare, lavish purchase Mac described as foolish for years. While this line can be interpreted as a brag, that Mac has so much money he can afford to spend $120,000 on a car he never drives. There does seem to be an acknowledgement of the emptiness of wealth here, especially knowing how Mack talked about this car in interviews. Like we spent the most money? I bought a, spend $170,000 on a car. Stupid. What kind of car? G-wagon. It's nice, but it's, well, I should have least.

Mack continues to verse throwing up shots like I don't miss. Similar to the previous line, this is both a boast and an admission. In contrast to his haters' bricks, Mack shoots in scores, or at least has the confidence to continue to shoot as if he never misses. But throwing up and shots also alludes to a hangover, as Mac vomits due to having one too many shots of alcohol. He then says, never put a limit on the high stakes. Try to pull my card, tell them go fish.

Mack's somewhat reckless confidence continues as he claims to gamble limitless amounts of money on himself. He cites the children's game Go Fish, where players guess if opponents have certain cards in their hand, and Matt claims they'll never guess or pull his card. Given the wording of high stakes, this once again might be a coded way of saying he'll continue to use drugs without limits, despite those around him telling him to quit, to pull his card, so to speak. Given his honesty throughout the track this far, when Matt continues saying, you ain't going to find a lie in my face, we believe him. He follows by rapping, I pick it up and let it go quick.

They want to get pussy from my, and it's here Mac is cut off by a woman's voice singing a melodic, uh-oh. Given the rhyme scheme, we might assume Mack was going to say they want to get pussy from my old chick. Interestingly, there's a near identical parallel instance of Mac bleeping out these same words and inertia, a Lucy song Mac released in the lead-up to swimming. Here Mack seems to bleep out, my old chick,

Making the line, My Chick is old news, but add fuel to the fire is what I won't do. Given the 2018 release of this track, we assume Mack is referring to his recent breakup with Ariana Grande. By bleeping out My Old Chick, Mack is proving his claim that he won't give the tabloids or public any statements that will add fuel to the fire, as the breakup was already the headlines of gossip columns around the country. Since JetFuel was at least started as far back as 2016, it seems unlikely the female in question would be Grande, but it would certainly be interpreted that way, which might have been the reason for the omission. Mack then wraps, I don't say

nothing that I don't know, jumping out the womb wearing polo. Immediately after claiming that he only says when he knows to be true, Mack says he was born into the world swaddled in the cotton cloth of Ralph Lauren Polo brand clothing. For all the times he shouted out the brand in his wraps, maybe he actually was. On Here We Go, Mack opened the song with Polo Pajamas, I think I made it. I showed my mom my first million. She damn near fainted. That song appears on faces, Mac's most polo heavy album, peaking with the track Polo Jeans,

where he and Earl's sweatshirt lampooned the contemporary American rap dream. The Ralph Lauren group has more than a dozen fashion lines, from elite luxury to attainable, and is generally perceived as an American status symbol. Sure, Matt could brag about wearing any other brand, but they ain't Ralph, though. Even Mack's dog Ralphie had a sister named Lauren. Mack then continues rapping, Everybody want to jump in, but I'm old school. Lone Wolf take him on solo.

Playing off the previous line jumping out the womb, Mac flips directions to jump in, foreshadowing the coming line you got to jump in to swim on 2009, and generally evoking the image of water, as people jump into a pool or the ocean. It might also remind us of when Mack noticed they call on me from the shore, I need more on perfecto,

as he continues to resist the attempts of others to help him swim, whether by calling him to the shore or by jumping in with him. Instead, he wants to go old school, which seems to refer to the notion of old-fashioned toughness. This kind of go-it-alone mentality leaves the individual without help or connection. While it's true that each of us must act in order to get anything done or make any change, the idea that any one person is an island is short-sighted. We're all out here in the water, but Mac is currently being defensive, trying to stay out there by himself. isolated Mac then wraps

I don't need nobody I don't need to be nobody I'm just doing my thing kick it at the crib I don't see nobody he's boasting about his loneliness relishing his ability to keep to himself his lone wolf status

well this kind of independence is important we can look back to a near identical lyric from Mac and realize he's not being entirely truthful here on the song Inside Outside from Faces Mac wrapped and I don't need nobody I would love somebody though don't ever get it fucked

up. This is the full statement, the full truth and wisdom, but on Jet Fuel, Mac seems to have his guard up. Mac saying, I'm just doing my thing, kick it at the crib, I don't see nobody, might be a response to continued anxieties about fame and being out in public. As Mac one said, quote, being famous used to just defeat me, I wouldn't leave my house because I was worried about someone being like, oh, are you Mac Miller? And then the rest of the night I couldn't be myself, unquote. We've seen the inside outside motif run throughout swimming, and here on JetFew, feel Mac is actually feeling good about being inside. This leads to him shouting, I don't need to be nobody to the ceiling, a celebration of his feeling of ego death. The game of

identity constantly influx under interaction between people and the outside world. It's easier to put away when alone. While it seems Mac tends to favor the indoors, typically he associates it with sadness, so this joy is a wonderful testament to the allure of staying in. It would be a pure moment, if not for the context of drug use, alluded to throughout the track. The following line, I'm Just Doing My Thing, immediately brings him back to the ego. He's him again, doing his thing, a pattern of behavior attributed to the identity of Mac Miller. That moment of purity of not needing to be nobody is gone in a moment, such as the path of flexing our achievements. I'm looking at the crib, I don't see nobody, no. So over there with that bullshit, we don't need it

on this side. I'm pulling up in that new shit. You always whipping that. Dick ride. I demand your respect. I won't share my connection. Let's get this clear. I am here. I don't care who got next. Young vet.

Feeling like they forget. I let his slide this time. Like 25 years I've been high and no less. Shit I know I don't guess. Rather glow, I won't stress. But I say that shit with your chest. Matt continues to isolate himself from others, rapping in a new cadence.

So over there with that bullshit, we don't need it on this side. This line resembles self-care in which Mac proclaim, tell them take that bullshit elsewhere. We interpreted this to mean either taking those drugs elsewhere, implicating an attempt at sobriety, or telling off people around him who attempt to get him off drugs. Here on Jet Fuel, it feels like the latter, reinforced by the line, I won't share my connect, or his drug dealer, continuing the defiance about his drug use throughout the track. Matt continues, I'm pulling up in that new shit, you always whip in that dick ride. Here we get another boast about his cars or whips,

while insulting his naysayers, claiming that they only dick ride, a slaying term for someone who worships or praises someone too much. The boats continue as Mack demands respect, claiming himself a dominant young vet who's unconcerned with any up-and-coming rappers threatening to take his spot. He then raps, feeling like they forget, I let it slide this time, like 25 years I've been high and no less.

The phrasing, I Let It Slide, seems to nod to Mack's debut album Blue Slide Part, which charted number one, supporting his claim he's been high or topping the chart since day one. Mack here is also reminding us of all he's accomplished by the young age of 25, which we assume is how old he was when recording this track. Finally, the verse closes out, shit I know, I don't guess, rather glow, I won't stress. Better say that shit with your chest. Saying something with your chest means to speak confidently, which Mac has done all song long. But beneath these bars, we've sent some defensiveness throughout the track, as if the ego is

being used to compensate for deeper insecurities about loneliness and substance use. This makes the line, I know, I don't guess, ironic, as it directly follows a song titled Dunno, slang for don't know. This last run of boast about his position in hip-hop recontextualizes the final chorus, forcing us to consider another reading. I'm a be here for a while, longer than I did expect to, now feels like a statement about his status and relevance in the music industry, while being in the clouds and never running out of jet fuel becomes a boast about his continued musical dominance. As Mack told Craig Jenkins at the time, quote, I'm less concerned about being king of the hill than being able to put shit out, unquote.

In this sense, the jet fuel is used to power the steady flight. It's Max's undisputed work ethic leveling out into the cruising altitude of a life making music for a devoted fan base. Okay, okay, well, I'm going to be here for a while longer than I did expect to. I was out of town getting lost till I was rescue. Now I'm in the clouds. Come down when I run out of jet fuel. But I never run out of Jet Fuel. After the final chorus, Jet Fuel winds down into an instrumental passage

where we hear Lacey's solo guitar and Mack's vocal harmonies. And then suddenly, the song transitions into an entirely new soundscape. In the official credits of swimming, this outro section is titled Now is Only Now, produced entirely by Mack himself. It's in the same key as Jet Fuel, making the transition smooth between the parts, almost as if Mack's backing vocals morph into the reverse electric piano we hear, giving the part a warped, ungrounded feeling. When Mac begins to sing, we notice his voice has autotune on it,

which isn't a typical choice for Mac. He also dips in and out of singing in a high falsetto. Given all of JetFuel's talk of a sustained high, this outro section feels like a sonic depiction of Mac in the clouds. There's a foggy, almost divine quality to the part, but also a feeling of vulnerability and loneliness. It's certainly a sudden shift from the defiant bragan a dosio that dominated jet fuel, but also reflects the undercurrent of isolation we've detected

beneath all that egotism. Mac begins this section singing, Fate in Your Hands, while you're waiting for me. Once again, we get this motif of Mac keeping others waiting and being late, which we heard on small worlds, perfecto, ladders, and most recently on Dunnow. It's unclear who the you is addressing here, but given that waiting has previously been used to address Mac keeping his love interest waiting, we might assume the same here. Mac puts fate into the their hands, leaving it up to them to decide whether or not to wait for Mack to come back to Earth. Here we can't help but think of that we can spin that wheel line back on Dunnow, and it's

possible allusion to the Wheel of Fortune, the classic circular symbol of fate controlled by a divine feminine or goddess. It's a notable parallel as Mac quite literally puts fate into her hands here on the outro of Jet Fuel, enclosing these two songs in a mini circle. Mac then reveals, I'm already there, falling in deep. Being already there would seem to imply that Mac is actually the one that's waiting. Falling in deep might mean falling deeply in love, and if this were the case, Mac would be saying he's already committed to this relationship, waiting for them to also fall in deep, to fully commit and dive in. This would reinforce the opening line of fate being in their hands, as Mac is ready to go all in as soon as they are. There's also

the possibility Mac is personifying drugs in this outro, especially given JetFuel's consistent focus on substances. In this reading, Mac would be putting fate into the drug's hands, with the waiting for Meiline, perhaps implying times of temporary sobriety. Meanwhile, I'm already there falling in deep when insinuate drug use, as Mack drowns in the substances. Next Mac sings, Now is Only Now. This feels like a call to being present in the moment. We've heard this call to presence throughout the album, but is distilled here in one of its most potent articulations. It's an original phrase that might be inspired by the book, Be Here Now, or Remember Be Here Now, a 1971 book on spirituality, yoga, and meditation by Rom Doss.

In Max Ellie Mansion, he had a copy of this book placed on his piano where sheet music typically goes, seemingly to provide inspiration while he composed. This feels especially relevant considering Max stated that playing piano is one of the best ways to get out of his own head. Among the book's many notable passages is, quote, early in the journey, you will wonder how long the journey will take and whether you will make it in this lifetime. Later you will see that where you are going is here and you will arrive now, so you stop

asking, unquote. This kind of emphasis and meditative focus on the present moment is a common antidote to anxiety, which is typically caused by trauma or regrets of the past and worries about the future, focusing on what did happen or what could happen instead of what is happening. The lessons of Be Here Now have been present throughout swimming, whether the aware presence of wings or the acceptance of perfecto. Even recently on Jet Fuel, when Mack shouted, I don't need to be nobody, it's possible he was voicing the teachings of Ram Dass, who tells us that everyone is so busy trying to be somebody, when really the way is in becoming nobody, and giving up the armor of identity in the body. But here with now as only now feeling like a

grounding mantra, we have perhaps Mack's most direct nod to Romdoss's iconic work. The final line of the outro is a bit of a twist, as Mac pleads, head back to the ground deer. This seems to confirm our initial suspicion that this section depicts Mack in the clouds. Given JetFuel's consistent references to the high of drugs, we might assume Mac in this outro is depicting one of those highs. We also recall that on Dunnow, the clouds were being used as an elevated place that he and his lover and habit went together, intimately focused on olling each other, ignoring outside worries, but it was also the literal high of them smoking weed together. Max saying dear seems to imply that he's speaking to someone, calling for them to leave the high

of this place and return to the ground, or a normal state of mind. In terms of the relationship described on Dunno, this feels akin to Mack's refrain, wouldn't you rather get along? It feels like Mac is pushing them away, or at least letting them know it's okay to leave, as he doesn't want to keep them waiting any longer. But the implication here feels like Mack wants to remain in the clouds, perhaps revealing a primary reason for the disconnect in the relationship, his continued use of drugs and his subsequent detachment from reality. But taking a look at these outro lyrics as a whole, there's another possible interpretation, that is actually Mack in conversation with someone else. In this reading, Mac would be saying, fate in your hands, while you're waiting for me,

to which someone responds, I'm already there, falling in deep, now as only now, head back to the ground, dear. Here the respondent could be Mack's lover, reassuring him that they aren't waiting for him, that they are already deeply in love with him. They then encourage Mack to be present and head back down to Earth,

to come down from the high. This interpretation bodes well in relation to our reading of Dunno as a depiction of Mack and Grande's relationship. Indeed, while neither of them have spoken at length on record about the end of the relationship, it seems clear that Max struggles with substance abuse was a central issue, at least from Grande's perspective. In response to a viral,

heartless tweet blaming Grande for Mack's DUI car accident, Grande described feeling like a babysitter and a mother to Mac and noted that she supported and cared for him during his attempts at sobriety. There's also the possibility that Mack in a hallucinated state is in conversation with himself, or even friends and family who encourage him to find sobriety. The abstraction of this beautiful outro allows for multiple interpretations, but any way you look at it, it ultimately ends with a request to descend from the sustained high Mack described throughout JetFuel's first half. Fittingly, it's directly after this request that the ethereal lightness of the outro's harmony disintegrates, and the song ends on an unexpected and sustained dissonance, perhaps a sobering

musical depiction of the comedown. Conclusions. Between Dunno and JetFuel, Mac paints a balanced portrait of the highs he seeks, love, drugs, and continued success-making music. On Dunno, he's warm and comforting, depicting the love he feels when in the presence of the same. of his partner as an ethereal lightness, lost in the free and formless clouds that bind air and water, yin and yang, male and female. On jet fuel, he's defiant and boastful, using an endless supply of drugs and turboboos of ego to sustain his high. And Walmack states that he'll never run out of jet fuel, the contrasting outro of the song would seem to say otherwise. While he's still in the clouds, his drug use seems to have led him to feeling isolated and alone, revealing that his

pursuits of different highs have conflicted with one another. To sustain one, It seems he must give up the other. Thus, the final lyrics, Now is Only Now, head back to the ground deer, feel like a call to return to reality, to be present, present with himself, with his emotions, with those around him. And while we touched on the book, remember, be here now as a possible source of inspiration for this line. Mack's alteration to this motto demands consideration. Notably, he adds the phrase, only now, which seems to imply something like, this moment is only this moment, and it's bound to change in the future. Inherent in this is the idea of rebirth, that whatever you're feeling now, whoever you are in this moment, is not what you will feel or who you'll be in the next. Max seemed fascinated with this idea of rebirth.

In our first episode of the season, we documented the way Mack thought of each album as a life cycle, ending with death and beginning with rebirth. On the aforementioned song, Inertia, part of Mack's introduction to the swimming era, he ended the track rapping, You Ain't Nothing Till You Die and Come Back to Life Iller, a fitting bridge into the album's first track, coming. back to Earth. Rebirth would also inspire Mack's prominent lotus flower tattoo on his neck. When asked what it meant, Mack stated, rebirth. It would go on to say, quote, a lotus flower shines most beautiful and the murkiest of waters, unquote. Mack here is referencing the fact that lotus flowers typically grow in mud and bloom each morning before submerging themselves underwater at night. This is key to understanding their symbolic meaning, that out of dirt and destruction can grow beauty and harmony, that everything is

interconnected in this way, and that each day, each moment offers us a chance to be reborn, to bloom, to transcend the darkness we can at times inhabit. This all feels present in Mac's Now is Only Now, a motto that takes on additional significance when we realize that it was, in a way, Mac's final words to the world. In the early morning hours on the day he passed, Mac posted two tweets that were later deleted. The second tweet, ultimately his last, was simply those four words. Now is only now. In retrospect, it's hard to think of a more perfect parting statement. The motto is a potent distillation of the eternal wisdom

mac imparted to us all through his music. We can imagine him now in his home among the clouds, reminding us to stay present, reminding us that each moment is fleeting, encouraging us to embrace that what we're feeling now won't last forever. So we ought to cherish the good times when they come and remain hopeful during the bad, knowing that the feeling is temporary,

that now is only now. that each moment presents an opportunity to change, to be better, another chance to be reborn. This episode of Dysect was written by Camden Ostrander and me. If you enjoyed today's episode, please tell a friend about the show or share on social media and tag at Dysect Podcast. It really helps. Limited Season 9 merchandise is available at Dysectpodcast.com. Theme music by Bureaucratic. Song Recreations by Andrew Atwood.

Audio editing by Eric Bass and me. All right, thanks everyone. Talk to you next week.