Emonthebrain - I Was Terrified on the Jay Shetty Podcast! Here’s How My Brain Leveled Up

Episode Date: January 5, 2026

Em shares a real “identity upgrade” moment: going on Jay Shetty’s podcast was a dream, but it also scared her more than she expected. After filming, she felt the classic post-event spiral—overthinking what she said, second-guessing everything, and feeling like her performance wasn’t as good as everyone else said it was. From that, she breaks down what was actually happening in her brain and nervous system: stress distorts perception, fight-or-flight makes your mind scan for threats, and your experience of reality changes depending on your state. She also shares a simple reframe for the “I should’ve said this” feeling (planting seeds for the future), plus the difference between guilt and shame—and why making things “about you” can turn a moment into an identity label. To help you apply it, Em lays out her 5-step upgrade formula: do the hard thing (even messy), extract the lessons before the results, regulate your nervous system, reenter with appreciation, and anchor in the new identity. It’s a practical playbook for interviews, big conversations, speaking moments, or anything that scares you—so you don’t just survive it, you actually level up from it

Hello, my friends, and welcome back to Planet N. This episode is very exciting because I practiced what I preach and I did something that absolutely terrified me. I stepped outside of my comfort zone and I have had an identity upgrade arc that I cannot wait to share with all of you in this episode. Now, you might be thinking, how did this happen? What did you do? Well, as you guys probably know, I went on the Jay Shetty podcast and this was an absolute dream come true for me. Jay Shetty is an incredible person now that I met him, I can say that.

But even before I met him, he's been somebody that I've looked up to. I've listened to his content, I've listened to his podcast, and he's been somebody that I've looked up to and been inspired by for so long, for years and years, ever since the beginning of my journey. And so I went on the Jay Shetty podcast and you may know that. You might have seen the episode. If you haven't seen the episode, highly encourage you go and watch the episode after you. You're listen to this one, but it was great. So I highly encourage you guys to go and do that. But what you may not know is that I was absolutely terrified. I was so nervous. I was so nervous. I really like wasn't expecting to feel the way that I felt. But sitting in that chair, meeting Jay Shetty, who is obviously

like somebody who's inspired me so much, it was a lot. It was a lot for me all at once. And that's okay, right? That's okay. Because growth requires that you get uncomfortable. It's you want to level up in life, you have to do hard things. You have to do things that scare you that make you feel uncomfortable that are outside of your comfort zone. When you're playing a video game, how do you level up by going and doing the boss battle? By collecting those final extra points. It's always a little bit of a stretch to get to that next level, right? And that life works the exact same way. You level up in life by getting outside of your comfort zone. And you guys know I've shared this before on my podcast. In life, in my own personal experience, I put myself

in uncomfortable positions on purpose to help me level up. I've moved across the country to where I didn't know a single person so that I could, you know, level up in my mind and in my habits and in my mindset and all the things and in business. I've done this so many times. I've done this even with my finances. I've done things that made me feel uncomfortable. And then I was like, oh, well, looks like I need to just like go a little harder. and I went a little harder and I stepped up into the next version of myself in my business and then, you know, abundance came falling in, but that was because I put myself in an uncomfortable position, which motivated me to step up. And so discomfort is great. Getting uncomfortable is absolutely fantastic.

It's a really great thing. And it was really great for me. I learned so much about my brain, about my nervous system, about how I respond to pressure and what I need. And I actually wrote down 50 learning lessons from this experience. But I also want to give you a formula that you can use to do hard things and make sure that your brain actually upgrades from doing it. So that you're not just surviving the hard thing. You're actually able to thrive because that is exactly what happened for me after going through this.

I did the hard thing, the uncomfortable thing that expanded me. Obviously, it was a dream come true. When his team reached out to my manager, my manager texted me like, hey, they're wondering if you can come on the pod. I was literally shaking with excitement. It was just such a dream come true moment. So obviously it was an incredible experience. But it expanded me in the best way. And I know that it expanded me because I went on a really big podcast, another top podcast. Jay Shetties is one of the top podcasts in the world. And I went on another top podcast in the world a couple of weeks ago that I can't share whose it is yet because it's not out. But the difference in the way that I felt was night and day.

And so for me, that was proof that the upgrade had set in, that my brain had fully upgraded. And so I want to share with you guys all the things that I've learned from this experience. But before I do that, I want to give you guys some announcements, all right? If you want to learn from me in a live setting where you can hear me, not just talk about neuroscience, but talk about the exact formula which I've created based on. exactly what I did to go from struggling with my physical health, with my mental health, with ADHD and not being able to focus at all with anxiety and stress and just feeling unmotivated and undisciplined and lack of energy, all the things. If you want to hear the

way that I went from that to now being in the position that I'm in where I can honestly say I'm filming this on the last week of the year, I can honestly say that. all of my dreams came true this year. I was sitting back and thinking about the past year and every single one, like all of my dreams came true this year. Things that I've wanted my entire life, like traveling to Bora Bora. Something that I've wanted since a little kid, getting engaged, buying a house, hitting a million followers. That might seem like superficial, but it's something that I've been wanting for a really long time. Just having some of my lifelong idols follow me, reach out to me, get in connection with me. It's been, just an absolutely incredible year. And so if you want to learn from me and learn how I have transformed

my brain in my life in a live setting and then be able to ask me questions about that, come to one of my free live masterclasses. They're free. They're literally free. And I do that because, and they're not free forever. I don't know how long they're going to be free for or how long I'm going to be doing them. So if you're listening to this like six months from now, it might have be a thing. But if you're listening to this in the present moment when I'm releasing this episode, come to one of my free live masterclasses. They're incredible. I get messages from people after every single class telling me how they were able to finally

land the job that they've been looking for for so long. Or, you know, it helped with their relationship or it helped with their finances. It helped with this one person, DM me seven different things that she was able to manifest gifts and a raise in her job. And it's actually really funny. I host this class twice a day. I used to not. But everybody, you know, I have people all over the world that.

want to come and they've requested that I hold the class at two different time zones. So I do. I hold it twice in a day. And I have people come to both classes. They'll come back to the second class that day and tell me what's happened in the few hour time span between the two classes. So it's really incredible. I highly encourage that you come. And if you've ever wanted me to be your coach, if you wanted to work with me, learn from me, take neuroscience-backed manifestation courses or courses on, you know, rewiring your brain with ADHD or stress or anxiety or, you know, finding your purpose or the neuroscience-backed way to actually rewire your habits or achieve goals or, you know, actually fall in love with yourself. If you want that, I have a coaching

program and community called Minecraft and it is absolutely incredible. And the only way to join currently Minecraft in my community is at the end of my free live classes at the very end. We don't really talk about it till the end. So if you are interested in either of those things, come to one of my free live classes. The link to register and save your spot is always in the link in my bio. So you can go to the link in my bio on Instagram and click the link and register and save your spot. Okay. And now without further ado, let's dive into these 50 learning lessons.

This first lesson came to be in the same way that a lot of my content comes to be. The way that I create most of my content is I go to. things and I'm like, huh, I wonder what's going on in my brain right now. And I look into it and I figure it out and it really helps me to understand what's happening in my brain, what I'm feeling or going through something. And then I share it on social media. So that's how a lot of my content comes to be. And it's the way that this first learning lesson came to be. So after filming this episode, after being on Jay Shetty and, you know, driving home back to the hotel, whatever, everybody told me it was so great. You know, Jay Shetty's team said it was great. My own team,

I was there and watched it, said it was great, and they were all like, oh my God, it's so amazing. And I just didn't feel that way. I was overthinking everything that I said and didn't say, and I was genuinely not even sure if I did a great job. I was like, I genuinely didn't know. And everyone around me is telling me how great it was, but I didn't feel that I had done great. I remember even talking to my manager about it, and he was like, oh, that's just something that super successful people are hard on themselves. And I'm like, yeah, that's true. but I don't know what to do with this feeling because everybody's telling me how great it was

and how amazing the information I shared was. But then I'm just sitting here second guessing some of the things that I said, you know how it goes. If you've ever been stressed or anxious or nervous in a situation and you come out of the conversation afterward and you kind of overthink everything you said, I'm going to tell you right now this is what happens. The learning lesson here is that stress distorts perception. When you are in fight or flight, your perception of reality. is not accurate. Because when you are in fight or flight, you're stressed, you're nervous, you're

anxious, your amygdala is fired up. And when your amygdala is fired up when it's highly activated, it's scanning for threats. You guys know that your brain constructs your entire experience of reality, right? You don't see the world with your eyes. You see the world with your brain. Your brain constructs the images that you see. Your brain is constructing your experience. Even right now. You can listen to this podcast episode when you are feeling really happy and get something completely different from it than when you are feeling sad because your perception changes depending on your mood depending on your state of being and so i realize that when you are stressed your perception of reality is less accurate because your amygdala is just scanning

your environment for threats and so rather than seeing all of the amazing things that i had done and said on the episode my brain was looking for the tiniest little things that could have possibly went wrong why to protect me, to keep me safe. And so coming out of that, I realized, okay, I could probably use a bit more nervous system regulation on days where I am doing something big. And actually, kind of thinking through this entire process, what I started to realize was that I could just use a little bit more nervous system regulation in general. I could probably benefit from meditating even more than I already am. That kind of was doubled down and reinforced by a question that somebody in Minecraft in my community asked me, how do you prepare? How did you

prepare for the episode? And my answer was that I didn't prepare at all. And it's not a bad answer because when you think about, let's say, an athlete. And I talked to my brother about this because he was an athlete all of his life. He played hockey in college. And I asked him, I said, when you went to the national championships, you know, did you do anything different than you would normally do in a game? And like, he was talking about, no, like he's very superstitious. He would always do things before a game the exact same way. And so for me, you know, it was kind of the same thing going into this podcast episode. It wasn't about doing anything different. It was about doing it the way that I always do it. Now, the problem was that this was the first time I had ever done something this big. And so I

didn't have really a formula or a method. But this is where I can start to build one, right? And so what I realized was, okay, the day of doing something big like this, having an interview, a podcast interview, or maybe for you, it's something different, right? It's something that scares you, something that feels stressful. How can you incorporate a little more regulation, maybe more meditation, or you're going to go for a walk, or you're going to listen to your favorite music for a little bit to really get in the right energy? What are you going to do to really set your energy right and regulate your nervous system before going into a highly stimulating situation? And then, after all of that, just recognize that if you come out of a situation and everybody else is telling you one thing and you're thinking,

like, oh, you know, it might be you have high standards, which personally I have high standards. So I have high standards for myself and how I want to show up. And that's not a bad thing. And it might be partially that, right? But it also might be that your perception is off because your amygdala scanning for threats. So the second lesson that I want to share with you guys kind of piggybacks off this first one. And it has to do with that overthinking the things that I said or didn't say. And one of the points was just one of the questions that Jay had asked me. I answered it in one way and that answer might help a lot of people. But after the episode, I'm over here thinking like, no, like, I had such a better answer for that

question and I didn't say it. But rather than beating myself up over what I said and or didn't say, I reframed this thought process as planting seeds for the future. So if you're in a conversation and you're walking away and you're like, damn, I wish I would said this or I wish I would have shared this information, right? Like for me, it was something to do with guilt versus shame. Feeling guilty is a normal emotional response to behaving in a way that's outside of your values. Beaving in a way that contradicts who we believe or how we see ourselves. For example, walking into a bar and spilling a drink or a restaurant spilling a drink on someone,

you might feel guilty and it's normal and you'll apologize and you will even maybe offer to get them dry cleaning or whatever. And you'll, you'll, you'll just. You'll feel guilty and that's okay, but you apologize and you offer to help or fix the situation and you move on. Shame is different. Shame is what happens when you take that guilty feeling and you make it about you. You identify with it. So when you walked into that restaurant and spilled the drink on somebody, rather than just feeling guilty, apologizing and offering to fix it, you might have done all those things, but then you also might make it about yourself and be like, God, I'm such a klutz. I'm so, I'm so clumsy.

Like, I can't believe I did that. I'm such, I suck. Like, I can't believe making it about you, right? So guilty, feeling guilty is okay. That's a normal emotional response to something. But feeling ashamed is where I draw the line. I'm like, no, that's not okay. Because you're making it about you.

You're identifying with it. And when you make it a part of your identity, as you guys know, your identity is your destiny. And your brain works 100% of the time to keep your life consistent with who you think you are. And I didn't say any of that. I didn't say any of that. But that's okay, right? It was a seed planted for the future. And I wrote that down.

I made a notes file in my phone and I said, you know, seeds planted for the future. And I wrote it down. And even this most recent podcast I went on, there was something that they had asked me and I didn't maybe answer it exactly the way I wanted to say it. It's going to happen, right? It's going to happen. It's going to happen in life where you don't say exactly the right thing and you don't, maybe you're not able to articulate it the exact way that you wanted to.

And that is okay. It's going to happen. But rather than beating yourself up about it, create a folder in your phone called Seeds for the future, seeds planted for the future, and plant them. And then allow them to grow, and whenever the situation arises, or there's a time and a place for that plant to sprout, let it sprout. Like for me right now, the guilt first shame thing, it just sprouted. Now you guys all could hear it. But also, a good point was made to me that who am I to say that my answer today is better than my answer on Jay Shetty podcast? My answer today might resonate with some people, but my answer on Jay's pod

might resonate with others. And so it's not fair to beat yourself up over that. Plant the seed for the future and move on. Number three, this was a piece of advice because I talked to everyone, everyone that I love and that I'm close with about how terrified I was, right? And my mother-in-law, she gave me a really good piece of advice when I talked to my fiance's parents. She said, this is actually a really good thing. Because if you would have walked away being like, oh, I did the best that I ever could,

then you would have peaked. You would have nothing to learn and grow from, right? And how are you going to do better the next time? She was like, this just means you're never peaking. And it's so beautiful because it's so true because the podcast that I just went on, I felt, I'm not going to say it was better because I don't think that it was a completely different style of podcast. It wasn't like an interview where I'm sharing.

It was different. It was just completely different. So you can't really compare it to. But I felt different. And that's what matters, right? because, again, when you're regulated, then you're able to get into flow and connect with your intuition. Because when you're stressed or in fight or flight, your intuition is less accurate. And so I felt more connected to my intuition and also felt that I was able to just have more fun.

And we're going to talk more about how I was able to do that in a second. But it really was true, what she said. She just said, M, this means that you're not peaking. It means you're going to keep doing better and better and you're going to keep learning and growing. And honestly, if I didn't feel terrified on Jay Shetty's podcast, If I didn't feel terrified and come out of that experience feeling the way that I felt, I would never have felt called or been pushed to write down 50 learning lessons. And I wouldn't have been able to grow the amount that I grew from that experience, right?

It wouldn't have expanded me so much if it didn't terrify me. And that's the whole point of doing things that terrify you. That's why it's so good to do them because they push you to do things that you wouldn't have done and they push you to grow. It's been incredible. Let's move on to the next. learning lesson. So the next learning lesson is actually from my father-in-law, my fiance's dad. He is, he's a super athlete. And he, he's done Iron Man's and he's run half-marathons. And so he, he's done things that have terrified him. And it's actually pretty cool because in the past few weeks,

I went and after this happened, I went and saw one of my lifelong family friends run a marathon and I gave him the same piece of advice that my fiance's dad gave me. What he said to me was, what you're not realizing is the moment that you take the first step, you've already won. Like, just by going on Jay Shetty's podcast, you already won. And I'm over here overthinking, like, is the podcast episode going to do well? Like, are people going to like it? Did I do good enough?

And I was worried about my performance rather than really appreciating the fact that all that it took for me to get there, all of the work that it took for me to even get there. And the fact that I have, I'd already won just by being there. And just the honor that it is to even be invited on his podcast, I had already won. And when my friend went and ran, his name's Nick, when he went and ran his marathon, I told him the exact piece of advice. And lo and behold, after he finished the marathon, he was, you know, oh, I wish I would have got it in shorter time. And it's like we're always going to do that to ourselves, right? We're always going to want better for ourselves. And that's the beauty of being human.

That's what drives us to keep going and grow and become a better version of our life. ourselves. We're always going to continue to launch rockets of desire into outer space and then do the work and grow into the version of ourselves that can fulfill them. That's beautiful. But, you know, I had to remind them again, like, no, you already won just by doing it. Like, you ran a marathon. Like, are you kidding me? That's crazy. You already won. This next learning lesson is a little bit more of a simple one. And you may or may not benefit from this, but it's no excursions. So the day that I went on Jay Shuddy's podcast, I went on a macha excursion with my dog. and my fiancee. And it was chaotic. It was extremely chaotic. And it was stressful. And what I learned

is no excursions. No excursions before you go. And obviously, I've had big speeches before. I've given big speeches in New York City. And I've gone on podcast before. And I went on the Jennifer Hudson show. And I knew what I needed to do. Even the morning of the Jennifer Hudson show, I went for a walk, said my prayers. I meditated, set my intentions. I regulated myself, right? And the morning of this podcast, I obviously did not do any of that. I went on the morning. on a macha excursion. And so what I learned was that I should not be going on any excursions that are going to potentially be chaotic the morning before I do something potentially transformative. So that one's pretty simple. Let's move on to the next one. The next learning lesson is to visualize

the event and how you want it to go. Now, you guys might be like, M, you tell us to do this. Why didn't you do this? Well, trust me, I've asked that same question to myself. I've asked myself that same question, M, why didn't you do this? And my answer is, I do not know. I don't I don't know why, but I know now that it's helpful. And I know now, and you know, it just reinforced why I should. Sometimes you need to do it wrong to teach you how to do it right. And that's okay. And so I learned that. And it's really cool because I've had some really cool experiences with it. Whenever I was interviewing actually for my PhD program that I was in, I remember visualizing exactly how I wanted it to go. I visualized like talking with the woman and, and, and,

and the faculty member, and we were just having this conversation and going back and forth. And it was just this absolutely amazing conversation. We were having fun and smiling and laughing. And then I was on the interview. And literally, it was exactly what I had visualized. We were laughing, going back and forth. It just felt like flowing. It was enjoyable.

It was fun. And so I know it works. And so I actually did it, you know, with this more recent podcast experience. And it worked the same way. I visualized myself walking in, feeling confident. I wanted it to go. I was just having fun with it, laughing, going back and forth, and that's exactly what it was. So visualize what you do before you go and do it. If you're about to go and do something hard or do something scary, visualize how you want it to go. And maybe make it a part of your

morning routine on those days, right? Like my brother, he had that ritual. He's superstitious. He's got that ritual, how he gets dressed before his hockey games. Maybe this is your version of that. And this is for sure my version of that. I have sort of a ritual now for how I prepare. My next learning lesson was to go back to the basics. When I first started out, I would get up every morning and I would go on walks and listen to affirmations every morning. And I would meditate and I would exercise. And I was really, like really crazy. I was obsessed about it.

And I realized, you know, maybe I need to go back to that. But not in the same way, right? Because all of those, you know, that routine helped me level up and transform my brain 100%. It brought me from undergrad into the PhD program of my dream. But I'm realizing now is like I'm not trying to go to the PhD program on my dreams anymore. What life is calling me to do is going back to the basics but in a new way. So how can I go back to the basics but in a new way in a way that aligns with my priorities now? And so I created sort of a new routine for myself to really reinforce these basic tools and rituals and just really starting my day by focusing on the positive.

Like, it sounds so simple, and it is so simple, but it is so transformative. And so I get up every morning and I'm putting on a YouTube video now. Like, I get up every morning and I go into the bathroom and before I even start brushing my teeth, I'm playing a YouTube video that's some sort of mindset video, whether it be Abraham Hicks. That's what it's been most often recently. I love her tracks because they're just short and they're always about setting your mind right. Just every single morning, that's what I'm doing. And then whether it be going to the gym after that and then meditating or,

or whatever is calling from, you know, my schedule is different every single day. So it really is different. I don't have the same exact morning routine every single morning. But I'm really flexible with my routines. But the one thing that I'm not flexible about right now is making sure that I am planting seeds for a positive mindset every single morning and then spending a moment in silence, just a moment in meditation. And really asking myself also and like tuning in with my own intuition and asking

myself like what do I need today? What is there for me today? What is there for me to know? Like what is what am I feeling called to do today? Whether that be going for a workout or just like a mindset switch, like I always get some sort of answer. All of the answers are always within you. And meditating and tapping into your intuition and asking that question of what is there for me today? What is there for me to know? Or what do I need to right now? If you woke up and some mornings, you know, you have a lot going on and you wake up and you feel a little stressed. I've had those mornings. I'll get into meditation and I will just simply ask myself, okay, like, what do I need right now? What is my body like needing from me?

Just allow your intuition to answer. And then boom. So the last learning lesson that I want to share with you guys before we go into what I did for round two and the upgrade formula is that I am the inspiration. I am the inspiration. I think a lot of times we tend to forget that we already are the thing, right? Like we have already won. If you're in an interview, you got to that interview because of who you were on paper, right? So you are the inspiration.

Don't try to be something different or say something new. Double down on how amazing you are and everything that makes you great. And for me, that was exactly it, exactly what I needed to remember. That I am amazing and that I've already, like, I'm already great. And that I don't need to say something more or do something different. I just need to double down on all the things that make me the greatest. And remembering that it really just, it helped me so much because we tend to just, at least I, I think that I was falling into this trap of like looking outside of myself when I really

just needed to be looking deeper within myself. You don't need a new mindset hack or a new this or a new that. A lot of the time what you need to do is double down on the things that make you great. and remember that you are your greatest inspiration. So let's talk about how round two was night and day. And by round two, I mean this second podcast that I went on. So I did my nervous system prep. You know, I had been exercising and waking up, I'm going to the gym, moving my body. The day of the podcast, I meditated. I took it slow, honestly. The day of the podcast the second time, I took it slow. I did not go on any excursions. I meditated and I, you know, visualized how I

wanted it to go. And I also went and looked at my own Instagram. I went and I looked at my own Instagram and looked at all of my like best videos and I just studied them. I studied myself. I remembered I am the inspiration. Let me study myself. And honestly, watching those back, I was kind of blown away by myself. Like I was like, damn, I had forgot that I even said that. I was like, that line was fire. Like, damn, like I was impressed with myself. And it reminded me of how great I am. And it also just kind of like primed my brain with all of the things, all the powerful things that I've said, right? And so when you do that, when I did that, when I went back and like kind of studied myself and just looked over at my best performing content, I just kind of was priming my brain with all

of the things that resonate the most with other people. So that was a very powerful tool. And you can take that and extrapolate it and use it in your own life however you want to. but I can imagine like if you're going into an interview for a job or going into a conversation, if it's like a business meeting, whatever it is, you can go back and look over the best work that you've done and you can remind yourself of all the most powerful things that you've said. Next thing was that as divine timing and guidance and synchronicity will have it. I listened to an Abraham Higgs video that morning and it was about gratitude versus appreciation. This guy that was asking Abraham Hicks the question in the video was a coach, and he was asking, you know, should I be coaching my clients to spend time doing gratitude or live in appreciation and kind of do more of an appreciation practice?

And, you know, the answer is always whatever makes you feel best. And, you know, the answer is always whatever makes you feel best because that's the whole point, right? But I kind of was thinking to myself, and in that moment, appreciation feels more present. You know, when I do a gratitude practice, I look around at all the things that I'm grateful for, and I can look around and be like, oh, I'm so grateful for my house and I'm grateful for my dog, and I'm grateful for the fact that I can even be sitting here right now recording this. Like, thank God I can even be doing that. Like that one incredible thing.

What a blessing. And that kind of directs my focus to all these things that I'm grateful for, right? But when I think about appreciation, and you know, this might change depending on the day. But when I think about appreciation, it feels more present. Like, I'm sitting within myself and being like, wow, I really appreciate this. And it almost calls me into the present moment. I was like, huh, I like that feeling. I like that feeling.

And so I ran with it. And as legend will have it. It was perfect because I got to this podcast, right? And I did all the things. I walked in, right? I took my time. I went in. Guess what I did.

I went to the bathroom when I got there. Why? So that I could take a deep. breath and do a few physiological size to make sure I was really regulated. Rather than going straight into it and sitting down, I went into the bathroom and I took a few physiological size. I looked at myself in the mirror and I said, you are absolutely amazing. You are a superstar. And then I walked out and I sat down and, you know, I wore these fire boots that day. I'm really fire. And they both compliment my boots. Everybody compliments my boots. The host of the podcast

compliments my boots. That made me feel really good. It's kind of off topic, but it did. It was kind of a icebreaker. But anyway, as we were in the conversation, right, the first question was asked, et cetera, et cetera. And I looked over at the host of this podcast and I started to feel a little of those nerves creep up. I started not even really to feel nervous, but I started to feel the need to speak faster. Now you guys know, I already speak fast. So if I'm nervous and I'm, I started feeling the need to get it out as quick as possible. And I was oh no, that's not good. We need to chill. And what do what did I do? My brain was primed for appreciation. Like, I was like, oh yeah, I just listened to this video on appreciation. And, and, you know, and

And so I just looked at the host of this podcast and I was like, no, appreciation. You know the sponge, you may or may not know the SpongeBob episode where it's like, he does the rainbow and he's like imagination. Well, in my head, I was like, appreciation. And I just looked at this host and I was like, what an incredible opportunity this is to be sitting here right now. Now, yes, this might have distracted me for a second from what he was saying, but in the long run, it's worth it.

So I'm sitting here and I'm like, Wow, like what an incredible opportunity. Like I'm sitting here in this city that I just traveled across the country to come to for this podcast. What an incredible experience to even meet this person. Like what an honor. This is incredible. And immediately my nervous system shifted.

I went from slight fighter flight to just rest and digest like, damn, what an incredible opportunity. Let's just have fun. And so making that mindset switch to appreciation as a regulator, right? Like using appreciation as a. nervous system regulation tool. I don't know if I'd ever done that before in that way that I had done it, but it worked in real time and it worked immediately. So if you're ever feeling super stressed or overwhelmed or you're feeling nervous and you're in the middle of something, if you can just take a second

to pause and appreciate where you are and appreciate all that you have and just really sit in that appreciation for a second, it will shift you immediately. And then I think just kind of all in all going through this process. What the difference was, was just feeling joy rather than feeling pressure. Like I came out of the second podcast feeling just so happy and like I had so much fun. And now fun is one of my top three values in life. You know, it's growing as a human and, you know, growing in my mind and in my energy and in my body, like growth is one. And then to feel loved, to have love and joy is two. And then number three is to make an impact. So those are my three. And, you know, to have love and joy is one of my main values in life. And so coming out of that to feel just like

I had so much fun on this podcast the second time around, I'm realizing that it was because I was just allowing myself to be present and in appreciation rather than feeling pressure and that's all on me. I was the one putting pressure on myself. Nobody else was. It was all me, but we tend to do that, right? And so I just felt this overwhelming sense of joy and now I feel like I really needed that experience because I feel excited to go on more sort of podcasts in the future. And having these learning lessons, guys, like having these learning lessons and having them ready for the second time around, it really helped me so much. Because if I didn't take it. If I didn't the time to write out what all of my learning lessons were after going on Jay Shetty and just

all the things that I know I need to do moving forward to feel like my best self, I wouldn't have felt like my best self the second time around. So sometimes we need to look back and reflect on the hard things that we've done and ask ourselves, because I did not want to do the 50 learning lessons. I did not want to go back and replay that experience. I really didn't want to. I didn't want to go back and think about it and not because it was a bad experience. Like it was an incredible experience going on Jay Shetty and meeting him. It was absolutely wonderful. But going back and replaying basically all the things that I thought that I had done wrong or could do better. It wasn't something that I really wanted to do or excited me to do. But I'm so glad I did it because doing that reflection

is what allowed me to grow and feel better the second time. So guys, let's talk about the upgrade formula. There are five steps. Step one is to do the hard thing. Do the hard thing. Go and do it. Allow yourself to do it messy. I think a lot of times we want to try to perfect it and, you know, no, go and do the hard thing and do it messy. Do it wrong. Don't do your best. It's fine. Go and do the hard thing. That's step one. Step two is to extract the lessons before the results. Because, guys, the results of my Jay Shetty podcast have been incredible. It was an incredible episode. Everybody loved it. so many DMs from people telling me that it transformed them and it was exactly what they needed and it has changed their lives since listening. I've gotten tons of DMs from people telling me that

that episode changed their life. And so if I would have just been like, oh, I guess it was good enough. Like no, because then I never would have grown. So extract the lessons before the results. Before you take the results into account, extract the lessons. Number three, regulate your nervous system. Always regulate your nervous system. Regulate your nervous system. It's a life changer. Number four, re-enter with appreciation. So do the hard thing. Extract the lessons before the results. Regulate your nervous system if you're feeling like stressed or anxious about it,

about the fact that you just did something hard. Regulate yourself, ground yourself. And then when you go back to do that thing again, re-enter. But this time with this newfound feeling of appreciation. Maybe you even want to go and do the hard thing with the feeling of appreciation in the first place. That's not a bad idea either. And step five is to anchor in this new identity.

because this was my identity upgrade arc. I told you guys in the beginning, I've had this insane sort of identity upgrade arc, and this was it. I feel like a new person. I feel like I'm on a new level in life. And I feel like I deserve to be here. And I feel like this is just the beginning.

So rather than going from feeling like, you know, because in the beginning I felt like a college athlete going and playing in the major leagues, I feel like I'm a major league player now. Like I belong here. And you belong where you are trying to go to. That is all I have for you guys for this episode. I hope that you were able to resonate with some of my lessons and extract what you needed for yourself and in your own life. I am endlessly grateful for each and every single one of you guys listening. I don't say it enough.

Like, I'm endlessly grateful. I'm grateful for all of you sharing this podcast and talking about it. It's been really fun for me to do. I love doing this podcast. I'm endlessly grateful for all of your feedback like you guys like all the feedback has been just absolutely incredible so thank you so much like thank you so much for being here and for your presence and for your energy and your attention i don't take it for granted at all i wouldn't be here doing it without you thank you for doing the work on yourself because you are helping to make the world a better place by focusing on you you are helping to make the world a better place and i think we all can agree that we could use a little bit of that So anyway, guys, until next time, I'm sending you so much love.

I'll see you soon. Bye, everyone.