Emonthebrain - Life Is a Game: How to Play It (The Neuroscience Version)

Episode Date: December 8, 2025

In this episode of Planet Em, Emily breaks down one of her core philosophies: life is a game, and everything you experience, your triggers, your environment, your challenges, your relationships, is part of the map. She shares the five strategies she uses to navigate the “game of human,” including seeing every trigger as an opportunity to level up, understanding how your brain rewires itself in response to challenges, and using discomfort intentionally to grow. Emily also talks about impostor syndrome, why it shows up when you reach a new level, and how to see it as a sign that you’re exactly where you’re meant to be. She dives into the neuroscience behind environment, mirror neurons, brainwave synchronization, chemo signals, context, and why changing your surroundings can shift your mood, motivation, and creativity in seconds. Toward the end, she explains the respawn mindset, the idea that failure is never final and the fastest path to success is increasing your willingness to be seen trying. If you want to feel more empowered in your journey, stop taking life so seriously, and start playing the “game” with strategy, this episode will resonate.

Hello everyone and welcome back to Planet M. This episode I'm very excited about because it really touches on one of my core philosophies of life and that is that life is a game. Life is a game. We are all here playing the game of human in this life and as in every game, there are rules and a map and hidden cheat codes and I have come to find that there are some main cheat codes. And I have come to find that there are some main cheat that I want to give you guys and some rules or some strategies to help you perform your best and do your best in this human game called life. But before we dive in, I want to take a moment to just talk a little bit about my last free master class that I held. It was absolutely incredible. We talked about the 10 steps that I used to rewire my brain and completely

transform my life. It was a brand new class that I created and people loved it. It was absolutely incredible. The feedback was amazing and I cannot wait to hear all of the incredible things that people manifest using what they learned in that class. Now, if you are wanting to get on a live class with me, if you are wanting to learn more about the exact process step by step that I used to rewire my brain and change my life, highly, highly, highly recommend getting on my live class. You can ask me questions at the end. We end up just kind of hanging out at the end. and talking and I answer questions. And with all that being said, this class is completely free. This class is completely free. Also, I open up access to my coaching program, community and course

MindCraft at the end of my free classes. This is the only time that I currently open up access to Minecraft and it is an absolutely beautiful, incredible community full of people that are winning and transforming their lives, completely transforming their lives. It's amazing to see. So if you're interested in coaching with me, if you're interested in learning more from me, or you just want to get on a live class to hear me talk about the exact process that I used and listen to me, break it down. Highly recommend coming to the class. It is completely free.

Like I said, I always promote the classes or I share the link to reserve your spot in the class on my Instagram stories. But also, you can, the link is always available for you on the Mindcraft Instagram. So you can check out the Mindcraft Instagram. It is at Mindcraft. and you will get all the information that you need there. The link is in the bio to register and save your spot. You do need to register and save your spot in order to come.

Highly recommend you do it, and I'm so excited to see you there. All right, so now let's dive into this episode. There are five points, five topics that I want to hit on this episode about life being a game and exactly how to play it. So the first point that I want to share with you all is really just understanding, that life is a game. I came from wherever I came from, and I'm here on planet Earth playing the game of human in this life. I have a specific memory of the last time where I was just overthinking something. And then I got in the shower and I remembered, oh yeah, life is a game. Play the game.

And as soon as I remembered, I thought, okay, what are the strategies? Where am I in the game? And what do I need to do next? It immediately helps to take the pressure off because I think we tend to take life extremely seriously. And it's important to remember that this world, this life, this human experience is not all that there is. And that's why I love the metaphor of playing the game of life because it just serves as a reminder that, oh yeah, this is not all that there is. We are plugged in right now, experiencing planet Earth through our brains, which let me say is a very limited experience. It's a very limited experience. There are so many things that we cannot perceive, hear, see, touch, experience because our brain

isn't wired to do that. So let's talk about how you can start to apply this living the game of life in real life. The first way that you could apply this is by adopting the mindset of every single problem that you face is an opportunity to level up. Every time we are challenged, every time we are triggered, it is an opportunity to activate new pathways in our brain. Let's say you're triggered by something and somebody comes up to you and they say something and they hurt your feelings or whatever the case may be, you are triggered by someone or something and it makes you upset. If you react the same way that you've always reacted, then you are reinforcing your

current reality. You are reinforcing the fact that you are meant to be on the level that you're on. You cannot level up in life until you activate new pathways in your brain until you choose a new behavior until you choose a new reaction. Our triggers are our teachers in this life. You have to learn from them. And the longer it takes you to learn from your triggers, the longer it will take you to level up. This will also help you look at challenges and triggers and problems in your life in a new light, in a new way. Maybe you'll stop looking at it as something that is bad or negative, right? Because we tend to look at challenges or stressors or problems as negative things. But for me personally, this helps me to look at these things as more of a positive thing.

Like, okay, yeah, this really sucks right now. And you're allowed. You're allowed. Trust that you're allowed to be like, damn, this sucks. But also, it helps me think, okay, though, like, what is this here to teach me? And maybe in the moment, sometimes we don't even necessarily know what this thing is here to teach us. It's not always obvious in the present moment. But hindsight is 2020.

Things become very clear. Tense steps down the road, a few weeks later, a few months later, a few years later. You can look back and think, oh, wow, that's what that was there to help me learn. I have had some big losses in my life, like one of my really close friends since the fifth grade passed away when I was in the PhD. And I was so devastated, like very, very down. to the point where I was like, what's the point? Like, nothing else mattered. I didn't care about the content I was creating. I didn't care about the research I was doing in the lab. Everything that I loved and really was passionate about all of a sudden just didn't matter anymore. And I remember just feeling

so dark and I remember my best friend in the VHD calling me and I'm like crying and she's like, are you crying and driving? Oh man, it was tough. It was a tough time, right? And at the time, I was just down and in the darkness. But now, looking back on that, I know that I was, not be where I am today because that him passing was one of the catalysts to me graduating early from the PhD to start my own business because I realized, whoa, like, I don't have time to waste. What am I doing sitting here, living the life of Hannah Montana, this double life? Like I'm going into the research lab, teaching undergrads, grading exams, doing research, going into classes, working very hard up. Probably from like 6, 7 a.m. to 9 p.m. and then 9.30 p.m.

I'm recording content and posted on TikTok. And I really, I called myself Hannah Montana at the time. And I just thought to myself, like, what am I doing sitting around waiting for one day, actually following my dreams and doing the thing I'm super passionate about? Like, what am I doing? Like, I don't have time to waste. I do not have time to waste. And so looking back on that now, I see it as a huge catalyst, right?

Now, obviously, would I have chosen that situation to happen? Absolutely not. But I can look back and recognize the duality of the situation, right? Where there is darkness, there is also light. And also where there is darkness, there is an opportunity to level up. Sometimes they're not as profound of situations as that as someone getting sick or someone losing someone from your life. Sometimes it's an argument with a loved one. Sometimes it's stressful, a stressful day at work.

But no matter what it is, it is there to teach you something. And it doesn't always mean that there's something wrong with you, right? Because there's been times in my life where I'm like, okay, why is this happening? What do I need to rewire in my own brain? What do I need to fix about myself? It doesn't always mean that there's something that you need to fix about yourself. It might mean that there's a lesson to be learned in the decisions that you're making or how much time you're spending by yourself. Or maybe you're not having enough fun. It doesn't always mean that there's something wrong with you. And so just take a moment when you are triggered or when you are facing a challenge. And remember that life is a game and think about it this way. I guess I haven't even given the game analogy yet. But when you are playing the game, you have to face Bowser when you're playing Mario in order to level up to the next level. When you are playing a video game, you have to go do the challenging thing to level up your character to the next level. You do not level up in a video game without going and doing something difficult that challenges you. And when you overcome that challenge is when you level up, you do not level up in a video

game without overcoming some sort of challenge or gaining a certain amount of points. And so you can think of learning from your triggers or learning lessons or learning different ways to navigate life, navigate the game of life. You can think of these things as ways to build character points. And the more points that you gain, the higher you level up in life. And now this really takes me to the next point that I wanted to make. and it is imposter syndrome or feeling like you're not good enough. Because I just got done telling you that every time you overcome a challenge and you learn from it and you activate new pathways in your brain, when you activate new pathways in your brain and you strengthen them, now you've changed your brain, which means you've changed your reality.

So you're on a new level of the game. And when you get to this new level in the game, you might be facing a little bit of imposter syndrome. Let's say you got a new job or you got into the program. the PhD program of your dreams. I remember whenever I was in the PhD, one of the undergrads that I worked with that also worked in the lab that I worked in, she was applying to PhD programs. And I remember her saying to me, I just feel like such imposter syndrome. What am I doing applying to PhD programs? I feel like such an imposter. And I remember talking to my cousin when she graduated college and she was working in the doctor's office and she said the same thing. She's like, what am I doing? I feel like

such an imposter. I'm over here doing things that I wasn't even technically trained to do. And I said to her, and I say this to everybody that I work with, my friends, my loved ones, imposter syndrome is a great thing because it means that you have just leveled up in the game. When you are playing a video game and you beat Bowser or you gain the character points to level up, right? And you get to this new level. Of course you're not going to be great at this new level yet. Of course you're not going to going to, maybe you will immediately beat this next level, right? Like maybe you're on a really steep incline. But a lot of times, yeah, maybe you're not actually good enough to excel at this new level yet. When you get this new job, when you get the promotion, when you get into a school

program, when you get into a certain relationship, I remember whenever I got into a super healthy relationship, I was feeling like, oh, like, do I really deserve this? When you get onto this next level, you might not actually be great at this next level yet, but that doesn't mean that you don't deserve to be there because you beat the last one. With time and experience, you will improve, you will get more comfortable, and you will start to get good at this new level too. And the moment that that starts to happen is when you should be looking for the next opportunity to level up and feel imposter syndrome once again. So just remember. Remember, if you're not feeling good enough to be where you're at, it's fine. With time and repetition,

you will be, that's called growth mindset, looking at yourself as you can grow into this new level. So just remember, you do deserve to be at the level that you're at, and you do deserve to win the entire game. And this brings me to my next point, which is how to navigate the map. When you are playing a video game, right, you need to understand the map. There are places that you probably should go. There are places that you probably shouldn't go. There are places that you can go to level up. Certain races in Mario Kart that I'm thinking about to gain points.

Every single game has a map. Understanding the map and navigating it is extremely important. You wouldn't want to run into Bowser on a street and not be prepared. And so the other characters in the game are very important too. And understanding how to work with the other characters in the game is important. Of course, life is no different. In life, your environment matters a lot because your environment is mirrored in your brain. The people around you have a huge effect on your mindset, but also your physiology and your biology

and your brain for so many different reasons. I think when you understand how your environment rewires your brain, you start to take it a lot more seriously because remember, your brain is what constructs your entire experience of reality. And so if people change your brain activity, which they do, because every time you communicate with someone, your brainwaves sync up with that other person. It's called brainwave synchronization or neural synchronization, neurosynchrony. And now that is going to depend on how close you are with that person. So just like in a video game, if you're playing side by side with another character, that character is going to have a huge impact on you playing the game and your ability to level up

and navigate and enjoy the process, right? Life is the same way. The closer that you are to the people, the more effect they have on your brain activity and the more effect they're going to have on your reality and your ability to achieve your goals and dreams. Because of this, I am extremely cutthroat about the people that I surround myself with. I always say I keep my circle small and very intentional. I am very choosy about the people that I surround myself with. I honestly have been for a long time. Honestly, I would say the shift happened for me when I started getting super specific about the people I surround myself with was when I started to rewire

my brain in about like the end, toward the end of undergrad, toward the end of my first degree in neuroscience when I also started to meditate and become more awakened spiritually. And I started to really notice the impact that other people have on my mindset and on my mood and on my energy. And so people don't just, you know, it's not just about brainwave synchronization. Chemo signals are another reason. There's actually research that shows that when other people are stressed and anxious, we unconsciously pick up on the chemosignals. Chemosignals are chemical signals released through our sweat and breath. And we unconsciously pick up on other people's chemo signals, right?

And so there is research to show that when somebody else is stressed or anxious and they are leaking those stressed and anxious chemo signals into the air around us, our brain unconsciously picks up on that and our brain is likely to shift modes into more of a threat detection mode. Our brain evolved to fit in with the group and synchronize with the group because the group is better and is able to work more cohesively when that is the case, right? And we have to remember that that is still true today in this present moment, even if you don't want to synchronize with Sally at the desk next to yours. For this reason, boundaries are really important and also protecting your energy.

Something that I've always done since, I mean, yeah, I guess beginning this journey was I remember being at someone's apartment and just feeling a lot of negative energy and going off into a different room and doing this meditation where I imagine just this golden bubble around me of protection, sort of shielding myself. Now, I also have affirmations or statements that I will say, like, oh, I don't claim that when I hear other people talking about their realities and, you know, what's true for them and I don't want to take that on to my own life. I will say, I don't claim that or that might be true for you, but that's not true for me, right? And so just having little sort of resilience plans in place for when you are around people, right? Because it's not always completely avoidable. Sometimes we got to be around people that we don't want to be around. and for that reason, having a sort of resilience plan or having little tips and tricks in place that will help protect you.

And so for those reasons, obviously the people around you are very important now. There are a whole bunch of psychological reasons as well, like the chameleon effect where we're likely to subconsciously pick up on other people's behaviors and mannerisms. And the level to which we do that, of course, is also congruent to the level that we know of the person and how synced up we are with the person. Mirror neurons have an effect on this as well where our brain activity actually starts to mirror other people. They actually discovered mirror neurons in monkeys where they were measuring the brain activity of one monkey and that monkey was watching another monkey eat. What they saw was this monkey that was just sitting there not eating its brain

activity. The neurons that represent this eating behavior started activating in the same way that they would have been activating if the monkey was actually eating. Now it wasn't actually eating. It was watching its monkey friend eat. And so your brain activates in a similar way as if you were to actually do it when you are watching other people do things. Now, this is why it's so motivating to watch a video of somebody else chasing their dreams and why that can boost dopamine and motivate you to get up and get after it, right? And so I don't want to get bogged down in the negative like this point and this, you know, navigating the map and understanding how other characters affect you. I don't want to get bogged down in the negative here

because you can also use this for positive. You can also use this for good. Like surround yourself with people that inspire you and motivate you and watch content that inspires you and motivates you. I, for this reason, I'm super careful about the content that I consume as well because what we consume we become. Because our brain is rewired by what we focus on. And when our brain is rewired, our reality is rewired, right?

This isn't just true for people, though. This is true for your physical environment too. Like I was just saying, content and what you consume, the shows that you watch, but also the actual environment that you're in, like your bedroom and your home and the different areas that you go to. I have come to recognize how certain environments make me feel. Literally yesterday, I am in sort of this full on sprint to finish writing my book and I was talking to my assistant and I was like, you know what? Maybe I need to go to a library. I need to be a book. I need to be a book. And so where can I be a book and become like a book and go to

the library? And so I took myself to the library and wrote a bunch yesterday, sat there and got into super flow and wrote for hours, just knocking it out left and right, feeling good about it too, feeling good about it too. And that's the power of understanding how your environment shapes you. Put yourself in places that will help you become who you want to become. I've gone to neighborhoods where I'll drive around and look at these. This was before I moved into this house, but I used to go to neighborhoods and drive around and look at these super nice houses in the side of mountains and be like, I'm going to live in one of those one day.

And honestly, just act like I lived in the neighborhood and just normalized my brain to this environment. Put yourself in places that are conducive and supportive. to where you want to go and who you want to be. When I was in undergrad, one of the first research labs I ever worked in, and this research actually won awards. I studied learning, memory, and the perception of time, especially depending on context.

One of the findings was that we actually perceived time differently, depending on the context that we're in. We showed people pictures of objects paired with a place, with an environment, like a banana with a house, an apple with a house. And we showed them lots of different object pairs like this. And then afterward, we would ask them, like, how far apart in time did you remember the apple and the banana versus the apple and the pear? And independent of how far apart they were actually shown, people would remember objects

being shown to them in the same context as being closer together in time and objects being shown to them with different places paired with them, right? as being shown to them further apart in time. Even if that wasn't actually the case. And I'm sure you've noticed this in your day-to-day life. When you spend a day going all these different places, especially traveling, right? Traveling will have you feeling like you lived 10 different lifetimes in a day or in a week, right? People like, damn, like this past month, I traveled a lot.

I went to Bora Bora and I'm about to go to Texas as well. I feel like this month has been like the longest month ever. And I know the neuroscience behind that. I studied it. When you change places and you change locations, you actually expand your perception of time. Now, you might have noticed that if you spend an entire week and sitting in your house, never going anywhere, that week will just fly by. You're like, where do the time go? It's because your brain perceives that events happening in the same place as being closer together. And this actually, we found changes depending on how old you are. Younger children are less likely to separate. context and time, which is interesting. And we could dive into why I think that later. But this is just one of the other cool reasons about how context and location and place affects you, right? I wanted to give you that example just to share with you, like the rabbit hole runs deep here. And, you know, one of the ways that I utilize this knowledge in my day-to-day life is if I'm sitting at home and I'm trying to get something done and I am just not feeling it. I can't lock into flow. And I've had this experience plenty of times where I'm sitting at home trying to either write my book or write content

or whatever the case may be and I just cannot get into flow and I can't get excited about it. I will change locations. I'll be like, hey, you know what? My brain can't lock in here right now. Let me get in the car and go to a coffee shop. Literally just me getting in the car, the act of me getting in the car and driving somewhere, all of a sudden I'm inspired because of the doorway effect. every time that you walk through a doorway or you change places, you change locations, your brain shifts modes. You can use that in whatever, which way you want to. Whenever I was in the PhD, I used to prime my brain as I would walk through doorways to class, being like, I'm going to focus. I'm going to be able to pay attention as I walk through this door. But utilize this. Like,

if you're feeling stressed and anxious, walk through the doorway, claim a different state of mind and go somewhere else. Changing locations is huge. When I do this, if I'm lacking inspiration and I get in the car, I will be inspired on the car on the way to the coffee shop. I don't even have to get there yet. The next point that I want to share with you all is getting uncomfortable on purpose. It is really easy to feel safe and good and comfortable where you're at, but get uncomfortable on purpose. In the past three years, I have moved, I think, four times and I have found that every single time I move to a new place, I level up. Why? Because getting uncomfortable on purpose, purpose forces you to level up. Another example is relationships. A lot of people think that they need

to be healed or they need to heal some belief or something in them and they need to do X, Y and Z before they're ready for a relationship. When, in fact, the relationship itself is what's going to help you do a lot of the healing. You don't need to be healed or perfect to get the thing that you want. because a lot of times the thing that you want is actually what's going to help you do the healing. When I've got into the relationship that I am currently in and, you know, also all the previous dating stages and talking stages and all that, every single one of those experiences, including the relationship that I'm in now teaches me so much and teaches me how to heal and how to improve myself all the time.

And all the past relationships taught me so much about myself and how to improve and helped me grow so much. so much. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable with someone and being uncomfortable if that's uncomfortable for you. Because personally for me, I use this example because it is uncomfortable for me. I grew up very independent, like to do things on my own, don't like to depend on people. There are many reasons for that. And so in relationships, you know, it hasn't been easy for me in the past to depend on people or be super vulnerable and rely on someone else. And this isn't true just for romantic relationships. This is a very romantic relationship. This is true for my friendships as well and through the relationship that I'm in now and through

meeting really incredible people I have been able to heal in that way and grow and actually learn to be vulnerable and rely and depend on other people going back to this sort of game analogy if you're playing a video game and you never went and tried to fight Bowser if you never went and did the hardest race on the game to beat it and level up. If you never went and did the hard thing, you would never get the opportunity to level up. You would never gain enough points. This impacts you in real life in so many ways. This is how you gain confidence, right? Like gaining confidence and competence in real life comes from you doing hard things and getting uncomfortable and proving to yourself that you can do it. You will never be

the famous content creator. You will never get the job promotion. You will never get into the relationship of your dreams. If you don't go, and get uncomfortable and do the thing that terrifies you. Lord, I have learned this recently in my own way as well. For example, to be completely vulnerable with you guys, like going on the J. Shetty podcast, was I terrified? Absolutely I was. Being so real, I was terrified.

But I now feel like I am on a new level in life and I am having so many opportunities come to me now because of that because I did the thing that terrified me. So normalize doing the thing that you're terrified to do and you could even do it terrified. You don't have to feel comfortable to do it. It doesn't have to feel safe. So often we're waiting for this right moment or that, no, you got to do the thing that absolutely terrifies you. You have to. Do the thing that's difficult. Do the thing that you're not good at yet. Have the tough conversation. Take the leap of faith. This is so important for your growth and for your

evolution in life. Do the thing that terrifies you. Get uncomfortable on purpose. that getting uncomfortable and discomfort motivates you to actually grow into the next level version of yourself. A specific example that I have for this is whenever I was living in Florida and I decided to move into this really amazing apartment, like I loved it. And yeah, it was definitely a little bit or a lot of bit outside of my price range, the rent. And I just remember like signing that lease and being like, you know what? Like, I'm just going to work harder. Like I'm going to, I'm going to make this work. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm just going to have to level up my income. I remember moving in there and being a little, a little or a lot bit uncomfortable being like,

damn, can I really afford this? I just told myself, no, I'm going to make this work. I'm going to triple my income because that's kind of what I wanted to do. And I was like, this is what I'm going to do. And within a month or two, I did it. And another example of that is that you guys can probably relate to is, you know, a breakup. Going through a breakup makes you extremely uncomfortable. It shatters everything that you know about. Life and about your day to day, it pulls you out of your routines, which makes you very uncomfortable, and that forces you to create something brand new. And that's why the post breakup glow up is so real.

A little bonus tip here. But go on more side quests. Keep it interesting. Remember, life is a game. You're playing a game. The game is supposed to be fun. How can you make it more fun? How can you make your work more fun?

How can you be more creative? What can you do to spice up this game and make it more fun? The last point that I want to share with you guys is the respawn mindset. When you're playing a game and you fail or you die, you just respond. You just respond and you try again. You try again. But this time with more knowledge, but this time with more experience. And who cares if other players see you fail the level or fail and die?

It doesn't matter. Who cares? Don't be afraid to be seen trying. Because if you're not trying, then you're not playing the game. And that's what you're here to do. Play the game of life. Because if you're not trying at all, you're losing. A quote that I love for this point of the response.

mindset is one of the best ways to increase your success rate is to increase your failure rate. You cannot be afraid to fail in this life. And I remember when I was going through my transition of deciding to graduate early, I had a phone call with somebody who has a big time business out in Silicon Valley. And I was talking to him about my idea for starting my own business. I had this idea of like a product. But I still haven't really moved forward on. I feel like I just found other things I was more passionate about, but I'm, this conversation obviously changed me. And I was talking to him about getting funding for a business. And he was saying, it might be a little difficult for you to, you know, get investors to invest in you because you don't have any previous failed businesses.

I remember thinking to myself, huh? Investors want to see that I failed? And he said, yeah, because that means that you're experienced and that you know something. And that changed my perspective. From that example, it's like, oh, so in that situation, having failed is a good thing. It's quite literally a good thing. Like, investors want to see that you have failed or at least tried and done something previously because it means that you know what you're going to do better in the future. And I was thinking about this last night when I was watching a hockey game. I was like, you know, in the playoffs, the team that wins, the Stanley Cup, which it's like the championship.

If you're not familiar with hockey, the team that wins is not a team that never lost. In fact, they lose a ton of games. They lose a lot of games. It's the team that stayed the most consistent, had the most power and passion and belief, and grit in hockey especially, maybe a little dirtiness, played a little dirty, which, hey, I mean, take that in whatever way you want to take that. But that's the team that wins, not the team that never lost.

Again, you cannot be afraid to fail in this life. You can't be afraid to be seen trying, because if you're not trying, you're not playing. and if you're not playing, you're losing. So those are the main things that I wanted to share with you all about how to play the game of life, what I have learned. All those things help me so much when I am playing this game. And the more often that I remember them, the better than I am about playing. So I hope you guys resonated, enjoyed this episode, hope you loved it, and I will see you all very soon.

Hope you have a great rest of your day, great rest of your week, and I'll see you next time, setting you so much love. Bye everyone.