EverydaySpy Podcast - Making Advantage Out of Need

Episode Date: November 30, 2021

Human nature is slow to change. That makes it a powerful and predictable advantage for you to use in your career, relationships, and business. In this episode, Andrew shares two current examples of how human nature gave one person an unfair advantage while leaving another person behind in the game of success. When you learn how to transform your need into value for someone else, you unlock incredible power, money, and influence. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My name is Andrew Bustamante, and this is everyday espionage. You and I have been talking together for a long time now, and for sure you know me pretty well. But there are still a few embarrassing skeletons in my closet that I haven't shared yet. And one of those particularly bony secrets is that I was a social train wreck when I was younger. I mean, I was born absolutely absent of any kind of social grace. or tact or empathy. I mean, my whole world revolved around me. I was the first-born son of a Latin family

and the oldest male child in my generation of cousins. I was the first grandson. I was the first college graduate. I was the first commissioned officer in a long lineage of dedicated veterans. And I was a total pompous jerk. All I cared about, all I talked about and focused on was my son.

myself. And I honestly expected everything to be given to me. I didn't want to work hard. I didn't want to try too much. And when I didn't get what I wanted, I threw a fit. I'm sure you can imagine. I wasn't popular or well liked in school because that would require some semblance of social aptitude. And I was too blind, dumb, and ignorant to even realize the basic social skills that I was lacking. Even worse, I wore my flippant attitude and my open arrogance like a badge of honor. Now, maybe you knew someone like me in high school. Maybe you even were someone like me in high school. And I know you've crossed paths with grown adults that never matured past the high school manchild that I just described. Either way, the important part isn't the embarrassing history

as much as it is the current reality. Because now, I've changed. I've learned. CIA taught me not only to understand my own selfish nature, but the fact that everybody has a powerful, selfish nature that blinds them. And knowing the truth of that human nature gives you an incredible advantage. It's a secret that CIA gives every one of its field officers. And it's amazingly simple to do. And the power of that advantage lies in one word. Value. Now, value is probably the most misunderstood and misused word in the entire English language. Most people think that value has to do with money or cost or expense. Even the average dictionary gets it wrong by defining value first as the monetary worth of something. Now, all of that

is short-sighted, just a total and complete waste of a real-life superpower. Tying value exclusively to money is too simple. It's like saying the word art only applies to paintings or the word fly only applies to small dirty bugs. Unlocking the secret power behind value is about realizing that value isn't about money at all. Value is about being useful. It's about being of service. It's about being of service. Value happens anytime you add convenience or give unique insights or solve problems that other people are struggling with. And value only happens when you give. It does not happen when you receive. Now, here's some real world social proof that I want to share with you. Think about your most valuable possession. Is it your car or your house or your degree? Or is your

most valuable possession, your child, your reputation, maybe even your own life. Now, do you see the monetary cost of the possession is totally separate from the way that you value it? And it's significantly less important than the value you get from your possession instead. Do you see that? Now, think about your most valuable friend. Are they the person you invest the most time, energy and money into? Or is that most valuable friend the person who invests the most time, money, and patience into you? Exactly, right? You already know the answer. Your friends are valuable to you because of what they give you, not what they take from you. Every human being, no matter their age, language, politics, or religion recognizes on a subconscious level that they get value

from people who are useful, people who are helpful, people who give service. Even more importantly, when you realize how others see value, you can put yourself in a position to be of value to them. And that is the CIA superpower I'm talking about today, being of value to others. Being of value makes you memorable. It makes you desirable. It makes you powerful. but it's human nature to take from others, to ask for favors or to request help.

So not only does being of value give you an unfair advantage, not only does it give you leverage over others, but it also makes you rare and highly sought after. Now, you know as well as I do that people who are of value are actually very hard to find. So when you find them, you always want them around. You are no different than anyone else. The reason value is so elusive among people is because human social norms evolved out of human survival instincts. Basic survival, our history of survival in caveman days, was all about taking. It was not about giving.

But even though human society evolved quickly through collaboration and sharing, our human instincts still. lag behind. And it's your default instinct, just like my embarrassing high school story, to think of yourself first, your needs, your wants, your survival. But by giving your knowledge, giving your insights, your energy, humor, and your problem-solving skills to others in a world where everyone is taking, you turn human instinct into a tool that you can control. Let me tell you a story about how my human instinct was hijacked recently by someone of value. Now, about three weeks ago, I had two gentlemen contact me via social media on almost the exact same day.

Their real names are John and Chris. And I have every reason to believe that both John and Chris are listening to this podcast with you right now. Now, John reached out to me first after a live webinar that I hosted. and here was his message to me. Andrew, amazing presentation today. I learned a lot. It's been an honor to be part of your spy tribe.

If you can perhaps assist me into getting into the private intelligence pipeline to follow my dreams, I will be forever grateful. As you can see, I'm a well-rounded individual according to my LinkedIn skill assessments. I've made mistakes in the past.

I've failed, but one thing I can say is that I've learned from all of them. I will not crack under pressure I am sure I was made for private intelligence. Sincerely, John. Now, I get a lot of notes from Johns. I like reading from Johns all over the world.

So I wrote this John back. Hey, John, I would love to get you into the pipeline. All you need to do is click on the link I'm including below, and you can register. After that, you'll be all set. Do you remember a few minutes ago how we were talking about the power of value and that value is tied to giving and not taking. Here was John's response to me. Andrew, I understand.

I want to be in the pipeline so badly. I am trying to figure out how to get the funds. But I helped someone with two months of their rent out of the goodness of my heart, and now I'm out of money. Do you have any ideas? I've asked my family, but nobody is willing to help me. I am all alone. But I know I am meant for this type of work.

Sincerely, John. Now, I'm guessing that you are feeling the same way I felt when I first read John's message. It's not the first time you've heard this kind of story, is it? No, and it wasn't my first time hearing this story either. But John kept writing me. Andrew, finances are not ideal at the moment. But that being said, I would absolutely love to attend your intelligence pipeline and fulfill my dreams. I'm still learning on an everyday basis, as well as learning lessons in growing as a person,

to be the best version of myself that I can be. Maybe if there's a scholarship you can give me, I will be beyond forever grateful. I believe that the happiest people don't have the best of everything, but they do make the best of everything. I've done it wrong for a long time, and I've made mistakes and blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, you get it, right?

You get what John's saying. John, if you're listening now, brother, you're making another mistake, right? But the mistake that John is making is so painful common that we all miss it because it's our human nature. You've been taught by upbringing, society, school, et cetera, to ask for what you want before you ever offer anything of value. Students ask teachers for help before they offer their thoughts in classroom discussion. Employees ask their bosses for more money before they offer to do more work that generates more

sales. And spouses always ask for forgiveness long before we ever offer to change the bad habits that cause the fights in the first place. Anytime you ask for something, without offering value first, what you are doing is taking. You are taking advantage, taking more than you give. You're taking someone for a ride. And we all know what that feels like. Even though it works sometimes, it never works more than once. And that means asking is unpredictable. It's uncontrollable. It's unreliable.

And in the spy world, we call that unprofessional. But giving value? Giving value is the opposite. Now remember, I said, two gentlemen contacted me in the same week. The second person was Chris. Now, let me tell you what Chris's message said to me. Andrew, it was in your most recent email that you had a short discussion about your private

intelligence pipeline. I can't express how hungry I am for that opportunity, nor how humiliating it is to confess to my famine of resources to take your course right now. I could blame it on COVID or whatever, but what good does it do besides waste mental resources whining? I'm not a whiner and I don't give up. So I have a proposal for you. This proposal requires no risk to you and essentially no cost to you either.

Okay, break for a second, right? When someone tells me they have a proposal for me that requires no risk and no cost to me, that gets a spy like me curious. Now, Chris hasn't mentioned anything yet about adding value, but he's already showed me he isn't the average taker that crosses my direct messages folder either. So Chris goes on for a while, but eventually he lays out this proposal. Andrew, I will make two videos a week for six weeks,

one documenting implementation of your CIA Mental Edge Report, and the other documenting a six-week challenge of your escape workout. I make the videos, but you own them. I will supply my thoughts for you to put in the comments of each video, but because you will own them, you can add anything you like or anything you choose to them. Here are the benefits to you. you get two sets of serial marketing videos of someone implementing what you teach and then you can put

your own copyright on them 12 videos and all if you determine at the end of six weeks that the videos have no value to you you just return copyright to me and you've lost nothing if i don't fulfill the videos on my end the same thing applies and you lose nothing but if you like the videos i believe that you will agree the promotional value deserves fair compensation. So if you decide this project measures up to your needs, you can compensate me by giving me access to your private intelligence pipeline and all the benefits connected to that. Your obligation is limited only to giving fair consideration to the videos I provide. If you choose to keep them, compensate me as requested. But if the videos are of no use to you, you have no further obligation, period, no risk,

No cost. Sincerely, Chris. That was Chris's note to me. That's it. One time, no back and forth. What do you think I said to Chris in my response? I'll save you all the details, but you'll start seeing Chris's videos very soon. He's rounding out week three now and his videos are absolutely awesome to watch, right? He's progressing in the mental edge routine and the escape workout and watching his progress is nothing short of inspiring to see firsthand. These two men both reached out to me asking for the same thing, both without the money to pay for it. But one was told no, and the other was told yes. And the difference in my response boils down to one thing, being of value.

Chris added value right away. He used his creativity, his courage, and his own talents to offer me something that was immensely useful to me. John did none of those things. He just acted on basic human nature. He asked without offering. He tried to take without giving. You've seen this play out in your everyday life a thousand times,

from children to coworkers, peers. You've even seen it in business owners. Misunderstanding the power of value is common. It's the standard. Even mainstream dictionary definitions miss the point and the power of value. And the fact that so many people get it wrong is exactly why you have an unfair advantage over them when you get it right. When you understand the power of value, you win over everyone else. You win the promotion.

You win the contract. You win the job. You win the business. You win the date. the bulletproof tool to get ahead right now faster and further than you ever imagined is by being of value, by offering value when everyone else is trying to take. And that is everyday espionage. Everyday espionage is dedicated to one thing, educating everyday people. I know that not everyone will listen, but those who listen will learn. If you live,

learned something new today, click subscribe, review, and share the podcast with a friend. Find me on social media at Everydayspy or on my website, Everydayspy.com. If you are up for a special challenge, visit Everydayspy.com forward slash operations and join me for an authentic spy training mission. And above all else, remember that knowledge is freedom.