EverydaySpy Podcast - The CIA Method to Seduce & Charm Anyone in 5 Minutes

Episode Date: February 10, 2026

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Absolutely. There's when you really, like we were talking about, when you really think about charm, charm is, charm and seduction alike are both an emotional connection. Yeah. So I don't want you to think of it in terms of a sexual connection. Sexual connections are real and sometimes those exist. But I would venture to say that the average person has really only had maybe two or three moments in their entire life

where they connected with somebody immediately, sexually. But we've had hundreds of interactions where we've connected with people emotionally. And those people go on to become friends, or they go on to become boyfriends or girlfriends, or they go on to become, you name it, right? Colleagues, partners and businesses. Emotional connections are so much more common

and so much more easy to create, artificially than sexual connections to actually find two people who are so so incredibly sexually dynamic at the same time in the same place that is a hard thing to do so when it comes to seduction when CIA trains us to seduce when they train us to connect it's not necessarily about the sex it's never really centered around the sex it's centered around the emotional connection and how do they do that you you you can learn someone's emotional state in the moment if you if you use assessment techniques awareness techniques body language verbal intonation there's a there's a lot of skills that go into it

it's not difficult but there are skills that go into it so you can understand where they are standing are they coming from a place where they are angry at their core they coming from a place where they are comfortable are they coming from a place where they are they feel threatened and if you can connect on whatever those topics might be, then what ends up happening naturally is that person starts to feel like you and them are the same. And you need them, you need the target, to feel that similarity

because it turns into something called trust, right? When they see in you that you are a reflection of their emotional state, they start to trust you because they subconsciously start to assume that you and them are, going through the same emotional experience. This is why women who are breaking up, oftentimes make friends with other women who are breaking up.

Have you ever had a moment where you're going through something difficult and then you meet somebody new and they're going through something difficult? And you're like, and you're so surprised. You're like, I can't believe I met you at this one moment of all the people to meet. You're the one I met. No. At any given moment, hundreds of people are going through all sorts of different emotions. it's just that you aren't always going through the same emotion that they are.

Trained intelligence officers, we change our emotional state to match your emotional state. How do you do that? Are there some practical techniques? It's all fabrication. That's what we call artificial relationship building. So as an example, if we, if you and I were having a conversation, and I wanted to get you to believe that I was in the same emotional state as you, First, I would ask questions. I wouldn't tell stories. I wouldn't talk.

I would ask you questions, where are you going? How is your day? Tell me how you felt about this. Tell me how you felt about that. I would validate your feelings. So if you were to say, oh, it's kind of a shitty day. It's gray, you know, and my energy's low. I would validate that.

And I'd say, oh, I agree. On gray days, my energy is always low, too. What do you do about it? And then you might answer you. Oh, I stay indoors. I watch movies. I drink coffee. what's your favorite coffee shop?

Oh, I really like this coffee shop that's down the street. You know, it's called whatever, the Burrista Brothers. And it's in Burrow Market in London. Oh, I've heard wonderful things about that place, right? What do you drink when you get there? What I'm doing here is I'm collecting information about you. I'm eliciting through open questions and closed questions. I'm eliciting you to give me information.

But I'm not giving you any of my information. The only information I'm sharing about myself is a reflection of what you've already told me. You like that coffee shop? I like that coffee shop. You get tired in the gray. I get tired in the gray. But because of the elicitation, because of the way the conversation is being structured, it doesn't feel like I'm just agreeing with you. What is elicitation?

Elicitation is a process where you indirectly collect information about another person, meaning you know, that you're collecting that information. You know that you are presenting questions in a way that will elicit a response, but the person that you're talking to doesn't know that's what you're doing. If you haven't discovered your natural-born spy skills, then somebody else might be using theirs against you. CIA teaches us that there are only three types of people in the world. Those who motivate, those who manipulate, and those who are being controlled by one of the other two. I created a three-minute CIA-style quiz to help you unlock your secret psychological advantage and identify your hidden blind spot. This test was developed to help you weaponize your natural-born gifts and use them to get

ahead of 99% of people in power, wealth, and purpose. It was also designed to make sure that you can protect yourself against those who would use their skills against you. All you have to do is click on the first link in the description below or scan the QR code on your screen to start your spy quiz now. I want you to discover your secret spy superpower and use it for good before you for somebody else uses their power against you. So in this interview, this is not elicitation. You ask me questions. I answer your questions. During elicitation, you learn other things about a person.

Would you like to do an elicitation exercise? Yeah, sure. So let's do an elicitation exercise. So we're going to have a conversation. I want you to know right now, and I want everybody watching and listening to know. This is not a real conversation. This is an elicitation conversation. So I'm telling you that because I want you to practice in your head. I can't trust this conversation. Okay. I need you to tell yourself like, this isn't real, this isn't real, this isn't real. Because my job to elicit from you is to make it feel as real as possible.

Okay. Okay. So the more comfortable that you are in the conversation, the more you will elicit. So I'm telling you this because I want you to try to resist. Okay. And I'm telling everybody watching this because they will be able to say, see your body language, your facial expressions, and they'll be able to see how much you're resisting or if you start to believe the conversation is real. Okay. So I should resist giving you information.

No, no, no. Okay. I don't want you to resist giving me information. I want you to remember that this conversation we're about to have, it's going to feel like we're really friends. Okay. But we're not. Okay. I am trying to take information from you. Okay. All right. Francesca, how are you today. I'm all right. Thank you. How are you? I'm well. So we were talking before we came on camera about the fact that you go home often. How often do you go home? Maybe once every two months. And Romania is home. Yeah, Romania. Do you go back because there's work there or is it just family? It's just family and friends. Yeah, I like to visit them. I'm very close with my family. Who are you closest with?

My parents and my brother. Did you grow up close to your parents or did it happen later in life? It was on and off. Like we were close and then, you know, teenage years, we kind of, you know, as it happens, and then we became close once again once I matured a bit. I was never. So two things that's really interesting there, right? First, I was never really able to connect with my parents.

so I didn't really grow up close to my parents. But as I got much older, right, as I got into my 40s, then I could really relate to my parents. And that maturity finally kicked in. How did you connect with your parents? How were you able to find that maturity so much younger than I was? I guess because I was studying a lot of psychology and, you know, I was working with therapists before for like a long time in my life.

So, you know, I kind of, I guess, accelerated that process. Is your brother also close to your parents? Yeah. And you're close to your brother? Yeah. So I'm not very close to my sisters. We always grew up competitive. How did you become close to your brother?

I became close by kind of trying to find similarities between us. And also we went through a lot of hardships together, so that bonded us. So you, it sounds like you did. the majority of the work to try to make you close? I mean, I think the hardships just happened and then we became close. But maybe I put, because I'm the oldest, I put a bit more effort into the relationship. He's a bit more nonchalant. And everybody else is still in Romania?

Or do they also travel back? Well, my brother moved to Barcelona now. But yeah, we all kind of come in the same time. And how does he like Barcelona? He loves it. Does he? It's like the best city for him. I've heard great things about it.

It's supposed to be very beautiful and artsy and architectural. Yeah, it's amazing. I mean, you know, he lives in a student accommodation with a rooftop pool and a cinema room and 10-minute walk from the beach. So he's having the best life. Okay, so we'll stop this now. Yeah. How much did you find yourself struggling to remember that that wasn't a real conversation? Yeah, definitely.

I had to keep reminding myself. I was like, wow, that's really interesting. You know, we're connecting. But I had to remind myself like, oh, this isn't real. This isn't real. We're not connecting. Yeah. I was there exclusively just to learn information about you.

So let me tell you what I elicited from you. Yeah. Because remember, I didn't ask these things directly, but this is what I learned from you just talking. Yeah. Okay. Your brother's in college. Yeah. I didn't ask you if he was in college, but you told me he lives in student housing.

Yeah. Right? Also, he is in Barcelona, but he's from Romania. So that tells me that somehow he can afford travel. and somehow he can afford that travel and schooling, but he himself probably doesn't work or doesn't work very much. So that tells me that your parents have some kind of funding source. Your parents are paying for it most likely.

You are the one in the family who is most likely the profile that is the family keeper, the person who keeps everyone connected, the sticky glue, because you go back, your parents don't come here, it doesn't sound like very often, and your brother goes back. And you are the one who is trying to be connected to him, and you are the one who is trying to be connected to your parents. So that tells me that you might be the one that's the most family-oriented. Whether or not you are the most family-oriented naturally

or whether that's something that came about because of your studying psychology, now you feel guilty and you feel like you have to connect them. I don't know that yet. But I do feel like you are the person who's trying to keep everyone together. You're the one who was close to your parents and then distant and then close again. It also sounds like you're a very cerebral person. Like you're a very objective, more than subjective person. That's why what you studied became something that you then applied in your life.

We didn't talk about the hardships. I wanted to ask direct questions about what are these hardships. But I didn't go into that. But what that tells me is that there's probably also been something that traumatized you and your brother because the two of you went through these hardships together. Yeah. And the reason that you talked about the hardships only between you and your brother and not you and your parents was possibly because the trauma that you suffered was from your parents.

Oh my God. So how much of that elicitation assessment was correct? Yeah, that was like very like close to 100% accurate. That's really good. And that's what we learned how to do. And that's what a list. minutes. And that's what elicitation can do for you. And that's why we teach elicitation at everyday spy and we teach business owners and people how to use it. We teach single people, married people,

older people, younger people because it's so powerful. You can use that to win clients. You can use it to make sure that the person that you're dating is truly who they say they are. You can use it to start a new relationship. You can use it with your kids to build a stronger connection with your kids. elicitation is a very valuable tool but all the original question that you asked was about seduction true seduction starts there true seduction starts with a conversation that is an elicitation conversation where we start to understand the values that the target experiences what they what they care about and then we replicate those values back because when you replicate values back it subconsciously translates to, I can trust this person,

which subconsciously translates to, I can trust this person with my body. Super fascinating. And you're kind of having a read on people as well, like you're reading people. Are there any other techniques you use to read people? Body language is a great one. So if you go back to our elicitation exercise,

and I'm going to encourage you to do this, and I'll encourage everybody, everybody listening and watching. And maybe in the edit, I want you to do this too. Yeah. When I was asking you questions, I was watching your body language. And there was a lot of smiling. There was a lot of open positioning with your body. Your arms were open.

Your hand gestures were open. You've been sitting with your legs crossed the entire time that we've been having the interview. So that's baseline. Yeah. This is probably just because it's comfortable for you. It's not because you're feeling attacked or threatened. But most importantly, I was asking you these questions. about your past and you kept looking to your left.

And you look to your left for most people in a Western society. You speak English, obviously. I believe Romanian is read from left to right. Yeah, yeah. So when you're talking to somebody in a Western society, they read the same way that they see a chronology. They see a timeline. Yeah.

When most of us, if I ask you to visualize your childhood, most people are going to think of their childhood on this side, and then they grow in this direction, because that's the same way that you read from left to right. So when you know that that's how people read, you can also trust that that is how they will view a chronology. So then when you ask them questions about time, when you ask them to remember their childhood, they should look to the left. When you ask them to remember anything other than today, they should look to the left. When you ask them about the future, you should see their eyes look to the right.

When you ask them to create something that isn't a memory, they should look to the right. Right. So that's what I was doing with you during our elicitation. And you'll see that in the playback. You'll see how I ask you a question about childhood or about the past and you look to the left. And that's how I know that you're being honest. But it's also how I can see that we are connecting. Even though I told you don't connect with me

I could still see I couldn't help it And what if someone is lying for instance Would that mean they're looking to the right? Exactly right So again I'm talking about I'm specifically talking about a person who is based in a Western culture

Because if it's an Eastern culture where they read from right to left or they read from top to bottom You have to adjust your expectations You have to look for people looking up when they're thinking about their childhood. Yeah. Or if they read from right to left,

you have to think about a culture where they look to the right. And that's, you have to adjust yourself to the person. But since most of us, most people watching this are speaking English, or they speak English, they're probably coming from the same background as you and I. So the brain has two hemispheres. It has a left quadrant or a left hemisphere and a right hemisphere. Your left hemisphere is your logical hemisphere.

Your right is your creative hemisphere. Well, what that means is when you're accessing the left side of your brain, when you're accessing the fact-based logical part of your brain, your eyes actually move in the same direction as that hemisphere. So if I ask you a math question, you'll probably look to your left to figure it out. Ah, you just did. Yeah. Yeah. But when I ask you to invent something new, you're going to look to your right, right? If I were to ask you to be like, hey, name your perfect man or describe your perfect man, you would probably look to the right and be like, hmm.

he would have this and he would have that because you're tapping into that creative half of your brain. So that's another way that you can kind of start to understand how people work. Now, what I'm giving you are called micro expressions. Micro expressions are not fully reliable until you understand the person's baseline. There are some people who naturally look left when they're being creative. And there are some people who naturally look right when they're being logical. So you can't, it's not, it's not a cheat sheet for all people. Yeah.

But it helps you understand the person that you're talking to. And you can test them in advance. You can ask them truth-based questions. You know, what's your middle name? Oh, my middle name is North. And then now you, if you know their middle name is North and they look to the right, that's giving you information. Like, oh, that's their truth quadrant.

That's where they look when they're telling you the truth. How old are you? Oh, I turned 45 last year. They did it again. And you know they're 45, that's another indicator of truth. So you might be dealing with somebody who's atypical, but still consistent. Yamava Resort and Casino at San Manuel is California's number one entertainment destination for today's superstars. Catch the Jonas Brothers return to the Yamava Theater stage on April 30th,

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