EverydaySpy Podcast - Trump, Biden and 2024 Presidential Election | EverydaySpy Podcast Ep. 31

Episode Date: January 26, 2024

The US Presidential race is speeding up with the Iowa caucus results complete and the New Hampshire Primary coming soon! As Americans watch political promises, lies, and tactics take center stage, Jihi and I wanted to take a minute to break down our perspective of where things are right now, some facts about Iowa, our thoughts on Donald Trump and Nikki Haley, and where we see America (and the world) going next. Find your Spy Superpower: https://everydayspy.com/spyquiz Learn more from Andy: https://everydayspy.com/ Join the SpyTribe: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EverydaySpy/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everydayspy/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EverydaySpy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What the headlines tell us is that there was some kind of landslide victory in Iowa that shows that Trump is going to lead the charge. None of that is true. Do I say that because I think that Trump is not a viable candidate? Not at all. Trump only won by a very narrow margin in that Iowa caucus. That means half of the committed, passionate, hardcore Republicans that were there for the caucus almost did not vote for Trump. So this is a bit of a shit show start to the day. Thanks for outing me. I thought all that stuff was off camera.

But the cool thing is, I feel like it's really, I feel like it's really important because we care so much about having these conversations that even when life is working against us, kids are working against us, business is busy. The world is crazy. Even with everything going on, you still insisted that we get on and have this conversation. And I find that to be super inspiring, girl. So thank you. Well, thanks, babe.

Yeah, I definitely felt like it was important. And, you know, there's an, I mean, you know this about me. There's an element of let's just muster through and get through this after I've spent the last 20 minutes looking for an important business document through two bags of trash that were absolutely disgusting before I had the idea. Do you know how I'm always telling you? Like, if you lose something, it's always in a pocket or under something. Guess where it was?

it was in a pocket, not trash. So here I am trying to get ready, digging through trash. It was great. So I want to jump into current events right away because there's a lot going on in the world that I think is really relevant. First, Trump just won the Iowa caucus. I want to talk a little bit about that because I think that's super important. But I think actually more important than that is Nikki Haley and how she has responded

since taking third place in the Iowa caucus race. Because as they're getting ready for New Hampshire now, she is like guns blazing, whereas Vivek Ramoswamy has dropped out of the race. So we're really getting to a place now in the Republican primaries, the voting body that will decide who the Republican representative, the nominee is in the November election. We're at a place now where the rubber is truly meeting the road.

And you start to see if the candidate, really have a presidential run in them. Yeah, I'm actually a pretty big fan of Nikki Haley. You know, we're both non-party affiliated. But in this race in particular, she's really kind of taking my fancy. And I was really pleased to see that she refused to do another debate without Trump because I 100% agree with her. It's not the Haley DeSantis show.

there are three candidates right now, you know, buying for the position, like, let's hear from all of them. And if he's not going to participate, then what's the point of, you know, DeSantis and Haley continuing to go back and forth with each other? So I want to put some context on the Iowa caucus to start because I completely agree with you. This is not the Haley DeSantis show. Right. This is the Republican Party choosing who's going to stand and be their presidential candidate. Correct. And it's between three.

people and those three people are fascinatingly, interestingly, disperced throughout the entirety of the Republican Party. And I feel like the Iowa caucus gives us a really good point of view into that. So I'm going to get a little bit detailed. I'm going to get a little bit mathematical and analytics. So forgive me or love me or hate me. It's totally up to you. You're my wife.

You do all three simultaneously sometimes. That's my job. But the Iowa Okay, so there are approximately 3 million registered Republican voters in Iowa. I think that's, I think that number's correct. Somebody can fact check that and drop it in the comments if I'm wrong. I think it's about 3 million registered Republican voters. Voter turnout for the Iowa caucus was 15%.

Wow. 15%. Wow. Okay. Yes. Yes, I believe that is correct. Again, fact check and hate comment me in the comments below. Always fact check people, even us.

That's true. Always fact check. Always fact check. But my point is I'm almost certain 15% of registered Republican voters showed up to vote at all in the Iowa caucus. That is a very low turnout. Yeah. Also, it is a caucus, which is a very specific meeting of people that is actually very time consuming and very difficult with a high level of of rigor and standards before you can even get in. So essentially, when you have a caucus on Monday

night in one of the coldest winters in history, what you're really doing is you're creating hardship upon hardship upon hardship so that only the most fervent, only the most dedicated, only the most politically charged Iowa Republicans even show up to complete the caucus. So the voter turnout is so low because what it basically represents is a sample of the most dedicated, most vehement, strongly opinionated Republicans in Iowa. And then they go through the whole caucus process and they decide that Trump is their candidate. They decide that Trump is their candidate with a 51% vote. That means half of the, of the, of, of, you know, of, a, you know, of, a, of, a, of, Half of the committed, passionate, like, hardcore Republicans that were there for the caucus,

half of them almost did not vote for Trump. Yeah. So Trump only won amongst a very dedicated group by a very narrow margin in that Iowa caucus. Do I say that because I think that Trump is not a viable candidate? Not at all. I say that because what the headlines tell us is that there was some kind of landslide victory in Iowa that shows that Trump is going to lead the charge. Yeah.

No, none of that is true. Yeah. There was a very important analytical event that happened in Iowa that shows that Trump is leading, but that there are two other very viable candidates who are close on his heels in even one of the most difficult voting environments among some of the most passionate Republican voters. let me get off my soapbox. Thank you for letting me geek out. I totally want to get your thoughts.

No, I think I love everything that you just said. And the two things that I find super fascinating, one that I've always found really interesting about our country is that we don't make it easier for people to vote. So many countries, for example, vote on a weekend. So people don't have to take time off of work. I know that you are supposed to be allowed by your job to go vote. but in practice, I mean, that really is challenging for people.

So I've always found it so fascinating that the United States doesn't make it easier for the population to vote. The second thing. And it's funny, I'm just going to pile onto that real quick because you're totally right. Voting is compulsory in Australia. Yeah, in a number of countries. We have June 10th. We can make up new federal holidays. Yeah.

Why can't we just make it easy so that there's a day. off where people vote. I'm sorry, go ahead. No. The other thing that I find interesting is, you know, which I think is tied to, you know, the fact that it's not compulsory to vote, the fact that we don't make it, you know, easier for people to vote is the idea that, you know, I feel like political discourse in the United States also isn't as open as it is in some other countries. In other countries, and many other countries, it is totally acceptable and normal to talk about politics at the dinner table. And it's not cutthroat. It's not aggressive. Maybe, you know, maybe there's strong opinions

and feelings, you know, feelings run high, but it's not the way it is here. It's not necessarily quite as polarized. There's more of a civil discourse about differing opinions and who, you know, because what we're talking about, you know, we're not, we're not talking about, you know, we're not demonizing. You don't want to demonize people, right? We're talking about who we think will leave the country the best. And one of the issues I have with these numbers and how the media reports them and the polling, the polling in particular, you know, is that I worry, you know, in the vein of influence, right? I worry that these numbers that the media puts out there when, when, you know, for example, the caucus happens or polling numbers are reported, that it discourages people from

from feeling like their vote counts because even if everybody out, even if all the media sources and all the polling says, you know, Trump's a shoe in, Trump's the winner, Trump's going to get it, like, I haven't been polled, right? Have you been pulled? You have not been polling, I'm pretty sure. You and I don't answer the phone at 2 o'clock in the afternoon on a Thursday afternoon from an unlisted number. Right. That is a pollster, right?

Just to your point. Yes. Polling is a sample of a specific type of person. Yes. So you have to really look at the data and realize that these are samples, right? They're small samples that, you know, the number is like extrapolated to the larger, you know, society, but the true measure of who will be voted into office will be counted on voting day with your vote. So you just have to show up, right? It doesn't matter. I mean, maybe Trump is

the clear winner, right? Maybe there are, you know, maybe 60% of the American population really does want to vote for him. But we'll never really know unless everybody goes out and votes for the candidate that they want in office, the candidate that they think can lead this country, right? Because that's what we're talking about, right? We're talking about a leadership role, a civil service role, right? Who will serve the American people best? That's what, you know, Trump and Haley and DeSantis, that's what they're all, this is the job they are applying for, right? Right. And we get to vote for that. So you can't let the polling numbers, you can't let these, you know, the media reports dissuade you from going out in letting your voice be heard.

I love that. I think that you've got, you're nailing it on the head when you say that people feel a sense. They do. They have a very emotional reaction to what they see in terms of political progress, especially on the election campaign. Yes. On the presidential campaign being the most public of all campaigns. People see that their candidate is winning and they get, they see that they see that their candidate is winning according to the headlines, and they get emotionally encouraged. Yeah. They feel like their candidate is losing, and they get emotionally discouraged. It's like, I think the term that we use at the agency is horse jockeying.

And the first time in history that we really saw how horse jockeying worked against the United States was during the Vietnam War, when every battle, every day, there was a death count, there was a scoreboard, there was a win-loss statement. That's not how these things work. Right. Like when you participate, you participate fully. And that full participation doesn't always turn into a day-to-day score that tells a accurate version of the larger story.

Yeah. Can you imagine what it might look like if there were no numbers? If the candidates just did their debates and campaigns and nobody reported any polling numbers until, the very end on the final election day, you know? And then we found out, I don't know what, I don't know what CNN would talk about. Yeah, I mean, it'll never happen. But it's fun to think about. So since, so on the same topic, I want to touch on Nikki Haley really quick because I recently did an interview with Tom Bill You and Tom was asking me my opinions on some of the candidates. And

And one of the things that I highlighted was that I was a fan of Nikki Haley because, to your point, she just, she seems like the right kind of leader for what our country needs in the future. That doesn't mean I love Nikki Haley or that I'm going to vote for Nikki Haley. I don't know who I'm going to vote for next. I don't know who I'm going to vote for. I'm going to vote my conscience, though, to your point, exactly. Yeah. But when I look at the lineup of Republican candidates, she is the most. moderate of the voices. And I feel like what our country needs right now is a more moderate voice

instead of these extreme voices that we're so accustomed to hearing and so accustomed to responding to. Yeah, I agree. I mean, when I think about, when I look at the record of the three Republican candidates and I see how they comport themselves, because I really am huge on, you know, these people are public servants, right? They are voted into office to represent the public. to represent us as Americans and to serve the United States. So when I look at the three of them, I can't say I agree with everything that Nikki Haley says, that I agree with all of her positions. But, you know, honestly, I don't agree with all of the positions of any presidential,

you know, any president or any presidential candidate. So, but I do feel like she is, she is the most moderate out of the three. and I feel like she represents, when you listen to her speak, she represents what I feel like a public servant, a civil servant should be. You know, she's not trying to make incendiary comments to gain the favor of one side or another. She speaks in a way where, you know,

whether or not you disagree with her, she believes in the path that she is, is putting forward, right? She believes that that path is actually the best path for the country. Right. Now you mentioned not agreeing with everything Nikki Haley says. And I want to make sure that everyone listening to our conversation understands that we're not promoting Nikki Haley.

Right. But of all the candidates that I see lining up right now, I do think that there are some things that she is doing that are very interesting and very different from what we've seen candidates do in the past. And I appreciate that. Yeah. of the things that I think was a recent interesting error that I think she is turning into a very opportunistically positive strategy. And then maybe you saw this. She claimed that the United States

has never been a racist country. Did you see that? To not see that. During a recent town hall, while she's prepping for New Hampshire, she said the United States has never been a racist country. And I flat out disagree with that. Like, I think that is a categorically, wrong statement. However, she is doing a fantastic job of defending her way forward, what we would call fighting forward through the argument, right? Instead of backpedaling, she is fighting forward, which means she's doubling down and expanding and explaining and using the opportunity, using the attacks, the media attacks, as a way of being able to further expand her campaign narrative. It's a brilliant move.

brilliant move on Nikki Haley's part. Nikki, if you're watching, whoever your campaign manager is is doing the right thing. But essentially, she has taken this narrative of the United States has never been racist. She is now leaning into that to say that the founding fathers said that the country was based on the idea that all men are created equal. So while we have made mistakes in the past and while we have had to figure out how to lead a country of equals, along the way we have fallen short of our objective. But aspirationally, we were always saying that all men are created equal.

It's always been our objective. So again, fantastic way of kind of doubling down on that conservative idea that, you know, the founding fathers, all men are created equals, the land of opportunity. Fantastic way of fighting forward through that argument. However, while the founding fathers did say that they want all men to be created equal, I don't know that they necessarily had the definition of all men. that we have now. I think the definition of a man as a founding father was a white landowning male, whereas now we define humankind as men, mankind, and that includes women who didn't have the right to vote when the founding fathers were here,

and African Americans who didn't have the right to vote when the founding father was here. And, you know, the litany of other things that we have come to accept as socially represented voting adults, right? Transgender, self-identification, foreign immigrants, people who are seeking political asylum. Like, there's a whole litany of different ways that people can vote now. And that was not something I think that the Founding Fathers thought of when they were newly transplanted here and made the statement of men being created equal. So, so, you know, I have to disagree with Nikki. As much as I like her, I have to disagree here. Our country has absolutely been racist. Our country is working through how it will stop being racist. But I do believe that we are at a place where your race does not

immediately discount your opportunities in the future. I think that's a huge victory for us that nobody seems to give America credit for internally. Like, does race still matter? Yes. Does gender still matter? Yes. I would say we're still extremely ageist and we're still extremely like social class biased. The wealthy get more, the poor get less kind of thing. But I do believe that we have broken through the barrier in many ways of our racist past where your race and your color and your accent no longer immediately prevent you from having certain opportunities. Yeah, I think progress has definitely been made. And I think there's two interesting things about Haley. One is that she comes from an immigrant family. So, but it's, so it's

interesting to me is she comes from an immigrant family, which might make you surprised to hear her say something like that unless you've talked to a lot of immigrant families who actually feel the same way that she does, right? I've talked to, I've had friends from a number of immigrant families who were very successful when they immigrated to America. And for them, America is the promised land, right? America is the dream, right? They are living the American dreams. So to them, they're like, I don't know what you guys are talking about. Racism. Because a lot of times foreign immigrants actually feel racism in their home country. Right. Like the real racism. The racism that the United States used to be that we are not currently that we like there's some, I mean,

you and I have seen it all over the world. Right. When you come from a worse situation. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then the second. I'm talking over you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You describe it. I'm sorry. We've talked about this. I'm really terrible talking over people. The second thing I think is interesting about Haley that I appreciate is that even though I don't just like I said, I don't agree with everything she says, but I do have to respect the fact, just like you were saying, that when she makes a statement, when she makes a decision, she explains herself, and generally, I can listen to her explanation and understand the point she is trying to make. Whether or not I agree with the point she's trying to make is, you know,

something else entirely, but she's not just repeating sound bites, right? She is providing more context to what her viewpoint is and what her decision, you know, the reasoning behind her decision. And I have to respect the fact that that she does that because that is how, that is how discourse happens, right? That's how, you know, ideas, you know, ideas flow back and forth is by somebody being able to express their position, right? Whether you agree with her to not is totally separate and you can always, but, you know, if they can't express themselves first, you can't even take that next step of, you know, going back and forth in that exchange of ideas. So she has that ability and I like that about her.

So, and that's where our CIA lesson, I think for this conversation really hides. is in what you're talking about, the influence tool of being able to say something shocking. And then when people attack you for your shocking statement, you now have a platform from which to further expand your narrative and the messaging that you choose for that narrative that drives home your true intent. And that is something that, again, I'm not sure whether Nikki Haley's campaign manager designed this or whether they just did a smart thing when she was at a town hall and said and misspoke, I misspeak all the time. So I totally understand. It's easy to misspeak when you're the

one standing in front of the camera. Yeah. But it's a brilliant move now because it is that fighting forward strategy of I just I just said something. It got a lot of attention. If I say I'm sorry and correct myself, I lose all that attention. Yeah. But if I fight my way forward and I defend my position, I will only create even more attention. So it's a fantastic move. It's a fantastic move. I think it's a brilliant move. And to your point, it gives us a, it gives the influencer, it gives the operator a chance

to spread a new idea. Yeah. So I want to put Nikki Haley aside for a second. She's using this influence tactic and she's using it well. There is somebody who also made headlines last week. week who is not using this influence tactic well, but who has a fantastic new idea to share. Do you remember when you and I talked the week that the new Argentinian president was elected? Yeah.

Do you know where I'm going already? Yeah. Yeah, I do. He's fascinating. He is so interesting. So, President Javier, is it M-I-L-E-L-A? How do you pronounce his last name in Spanish? M-I-L-L-E-I.

You put me on the spot. Oh, because somebody told me... You're the Spanish speaker. Somebody told me... I'm just the Spanish bumbling. I'm not going to do it because somebody told me I said somebody's name wrong on another podcast. So I haven't heard it said out loud. I'm going to guess...

So first of all, the person who corrected you on the other podcast was Josh. Josh, while he is a great friend, he is a massive jerk, right? At the same time, he can be both things at once. He's a fantastic friend, but he is also... He does not have that emotional intelligence to know when he's hurting your feelings. No, I appreciate being connected, Josh, or being corrected. Please correct me if I'm saying something wrong, right? Fact-checked and correct.

There you go. There we go. So President Millie or President Millie, or President Meli-I, I don't know, and you're not helping me because you're too afraid of Josh. Let the comments flow. I don't know how to pronounce his last name. But he put out a statement at an assembly of some sort where he was basically saying that the West, in our efforts to try to promote democracy, we have actually started to mutate the definition of democracy. And as a result, we are forcing our own people, slipping ourselves closer and closer to socialism instead of. a democratic society because we have mistaken our efforts to support democracy by instead

promoting the ideas of collectivism. Now, he says it in a beautiful way, translated into English. So it must have been effing gorgeous in Spanish because when he presents it in English, it's brilliant. Or when it's translated in English, it's brilliant. But when I read that, I was like, this is an idea that people need to, like, people need to cling to this idea. We have been, everybody's democratic. Our progressive liberals are democratic. Our conservative right wing are democratic. Everybody's democratic.

But what's happening is we have stopped using the correct terminology when we're defending our opinions. So now we have started talking about collectivism, which means doing things that everybody agrees with, we have started using collectivism as the actual thing that we're defending, but we're calling that collectivism democracy. When democracy is not collectivism, democracy is what you and I were talking about. Every individual gets a right to vote.

And the participation of that voting individual should dictate the future course of the leadership in the country, right? So instead we're doing what we feel we must do to be part of a group. and the more that we let ourselves fall victim to the idea that we have to do what's accepted by others, the more that we fall prey to the idea of collectivism, the closer we get to falling and slipping into the exact socialist outcome that so many of us are afraid of. Yeah, what do they call it? Because we start thinking as a society instead of thinking like individuals.

I'm sorry, I was still on my soapbox. No, sorry. No, I think it's in business is called scope creep, right? Cope creep. That's exactly right. Yeah, that's exactly right. You say you're going to do one thing and then, or you, and then people start asking you for more. And then you feel like if you can't say no, because you said yes to the other thing.

So now you just say yes to the new thing. And then before you know it, you're doing something you were never supposed to do. Right. And I think, you know, what I really liked about what he said was, you know, he pointed out that it was, it was well, intentioned people, right? These people, they're not doing it to be malicious. They're well-intentioned. Everybody wants what's best for themselves, for their families, for their communities. But you have to take a step back and understand that, you know, it's like the difference between equality and equity, right? You know, you have to take a step back and really assess where you're

going, where your actions are leading you. And is that your intention? If it's, is, then fine, then we can have that conversation. But if it's not your intention, then just like you said, don't call it democracy if you're leading us down a different path, right? If you want to, if you want to intentionally lead us down a different path, that's fine. Let's talk about it. But don't call it what it isn't, for sure. And even worse, this is where I think it was such an interesting point that he made. Like you said, it's well-intentioned, which means there are plenty of politicians out there who are not lying about their intentions. Correct.

They themselves don't even realize that the decisions they're making are slipping down a road of collectivist thought. They don't even realize it because they're too busy trying to, you know, be part of the right group, be accepted by the caucus. Yeah. Right. They're trying to fit in in a way that gives them more potential for success to build the country they want, to build what they think.

their constituency wants, but in the process, they're missing the target. Yeah. And it creates this error of defensiveness, I think, where instead of really being able to explore all of the options out there, people become so focused on their one option that they think is going to work. And whether or not it's really going to work or not, they don't care because they're clinging to it and this is the route they're taking. And then they don't consider, I mean, there could be 20 solutions to an issue, right? Issues are complex. Governing a country as diverse as a United States is complex, right? That's the reason that states have their own state power because each state of the union has its own complexities, right? So,

you know, a lot of the fights that you see between the federal government and the states is because not all federal, you know, you can't, the federal government can't realistically apply one law, you know, in certain scenarios, one law to every single state, because every single state is very different, right? That's why state law exists. So, you know, it's, it's just, it would, you know, I agree with you. I just, I warn people, you know, that, you know, you have to really take a step back from your viewpoint and just, you know, whiteboard, like, you know, brain dump on a whiteboard, what are all of the other options that you can entertain? Maybe it's not your favorite one, but there are other options out there that can serve

that can benefit a large group of people. Yeah. So I'm going to abruptly change a topic because we're running out of time. Yeah. Because my schedule is chaotic. And I am coming to you live from Las Vegas. my hotel room, half of my hotel room is behind me. I would just like to take a minute to tell you that last night I was standing on my balcony.

You've seen pictures of my balcony. It's beautiful. And I'm overlooking the Las Vegas strip. I am overlooking the Bellagio Hotel. Yeah. Right? Like I am staying in a suite with a balcony on the Las Vegas strip looking down at the Belagio Fountain Show.

Yeah. Right. For anybody who knows what the Belagio Fountain Show and is in Las Vegas, like, I'm sure they can visualize what I'm saying. But what struck me, my love, is that I remember being a 20-year-old college student who came to Las Vegas, who was frustrated that I couldn't get a drink, but who was totally happy to donate money to the casino. But I remember standing with a thousand, with 100 other people, like clinging to the rail.

so that I could watch the Bellagio Water Fountain show from the street because the only thing I could afford was to stay in one of the cheap like hotels two miles away. It's incredible to think that now I am staying in a suite on the strip looking down on the same thing that I used to like fight to just have a second or third row seat for. And it was a humbling moment for me because, you know, our country is one where you have the chance to literally change. your own future, write your own ticket, build your own life. And it struck me last night as I was watching the lights of Las Vegas. And again, Las Vegas is anything but like the beacon of freedom for the United States. But it was one moment where I was like, oh my gosh. I mean, I remember when I was 20 years old, I would have never thought that I was running a million dollar business. Our business is evaluated even higher than what we're earning.

as a business, right? So the fact that we're a million dollar business means that we're valued at almost $2.2 million. And then like the fact that we have built this from from a folding kitchen table basically. In the RV. When you were staying in your parents, you know, makeshift garage is, it's just, it's an exciting, humbling thought. And then the immediate thought that after that is how much I missed you guys because you guys are not here with me. And you guys have not been with me now for almost three weeks. And I see it on the kid's face every time we have a video call. Sina, our son, sends me text messages on our parenting app.

Yeah. He sends me text messages at 1130 at night. Really? Telling how much misses me. Yeah. And apologizing, apologizing for staying up late. Right? Like, Daddy, I know it's late.

I'm sorry. It's so late. But I miss you. and I have a question. And it's usually when he starts asking me for very expensive toys as well. Oh, that's super sweet. Yeah, I have a. It's too sweet for me to like reprimand him.

Yeah. So I'm always like, I miss you too, buddy, and I love you a lot. And can you please go to bed now? Because it's only 8.30 where I am. But I know it's 1130 where you are. And you were, mom put you to bed an hour ago. Yeah, at least. Yeah.

Well, and I have a new bedmate too. The daughter. I saw that. I saw the picture of the baby girl sleeping with you. Yep. Yeah. So since just to make sure that, you know, full transparency for everybody, when I left the house, she was sleeping in her own bed in her own room on the other side of the house.

Yeah. In three weeks, she has migrated from her room to a spare bed that you moved into your room to then off of that spare bed and onto your bed. Yep. And from the looks at the picture, it looked like she wasn't even on my side of the bed. was on your side of the bed. Yeah, she curls up next to me. I think as the weeks go on, the kids get clingier and clingier. So if you don't come back soon, I think I'm going to turn into like a blob of a Bustamante blob with just the kids hanging off of me. It's heartbreaking,

my love. It's so hard to be gone from you guys for so long. And I mean, I can tell you, because I've talked to numerous people who have made a living as, you know, traveling executives or traveling sales people or military who deploy every six months. It is heart-wrenching to be the person who has to leave. Yeah. It is absolutely heart-wrenching to be the person who has to leave. And I know how difficult it is to be the person who gets left behind. And the only thing I can say is if you are somebody who is left behind by a partner who

must travel, please understand that it is breaking their heart too. Yeah. That is as easy as it is to imagine that they're out there, free. free to be an adult to stay up late and watch their own movies and read their own books and eat their own meal and do whatever they want to do without ever having to worry about anything else the truth is they worry all the time when you're the one that's gone you worry all the time yeah if anything you try to treat yourself to a movie you try to treat yourself to a nice dinner you try to treat yourself to going out with friends because you just want to do something that

takes your mind off the fact that everything you've cared for, everything you love, everything that you've worked for is completely and totally outside of your control. That a car could run over your kid tomorrow morning and you wouldn't know about it until hours later after your wife calmed down or the doctor calmed down or somebody calmed down enough to call you. That's the kind of stuff that goes through our head when we're gone. Yeah. It's hard to be gone. Yeah. It's hard to be gone. I know. know my love, but soon, I'm counting down the days. We're more than halfway. So you said Sina is cheating. He's learned how to cheat on a Rubik's cube. You got to tell me, how do you cheat on a Rubik's cube? Because I'm telling you right now, if I could have cheated on a Rubik's cube,

I would have done it a long time ago. And I don't know how you do that outside of peeling the stickers off and sticking them back. So ours doesn't even have stickers. You apparently can pull out, like pull out the corner pieces and twist them on their own. Yeah. I don't know where he learned that. I'm pretty sure he didn't figure that out by himself. So that's not cheating. That's breaking.

So he's breaking the Rubik's Cube? It's not broken though. There's just enough give in it where he can twist it. He can twist the corner pieces. Oh, I see what you're saying. But only the corner pieces. Only the corner pieces. They're the only ones that.

So he still has, what is that? It's nine, it's nine blocks on each face. Yeah. So he still has to solve the rest of it. He still has five blocks on each face. He has to figure out. Yeah. But my, what I love the most and that I just want to share with everybody was I send you this text

that says, Cinas learned how to cheat with the Rubik's Cube. And I told him I would like him to learn how to do it properly. And you wrote back and you were like, that's great. He figured out how to cheat on the Rubik's cube. I was like, really? Of course. Well, because I thought, like, cheating technically cheat. So, oh my gosh.

I'm about to, I'm about to analytically defend cheating here. So cheating, cheating is usually a process. Even more than that, it's a high risk process. Whenever you try to solve a problem, you solve a problem with a process. A process is a fancy word for process is algorithm. So you solve a problem. with an algorithm. So cheating is just a different algorithm to solve the same problem. I can't argue. When I saw your message, when I saw your message, I was like, he figured out an

algorithm. How am I going to reprimand him for figuring out an algorithm? Now, technically, yes, a mechanical twist of a corner piece is still a process, is still a mechanical algorithm. But it's not nearly as exciting as I was hoping. I thought you meant like he found a way to like spin the thing in just the right way. So it always like clicked into place. And I was like, that's badass. But no, if he's just, he's not even really cheating. He's just, he's twisting the corners.

He still hasn't solved the problem. True. The Rubik's Cube is the, it's the problem. I'm 43 years old and I still haven't solved. It's true. I mean, I'm glad he's still working on it, I guess. So we had an awesome question that came in for the Q&A. And then I've got to jump.

Yeah. But a Q&A question for today was somebody asking how it is that we don't lie to each other. Like how we've been trained to lie, how we made a living out of lying, but how do we not lie to each other? My short simple answer to that, and there's always more complexity. But my short simple answer is because you know what it looks like when somebody lies. So the last thing I want to do is lie to you because you're going to catch me in the lie. and then there's going to be hell to pay. Yeah.

So that's why I don't lie. But you, you do lie and you still lie quite a lot. To you? Or like in general? Or both. I would say both. Really? I just, when you lie to me, I usually catch it.

I just, I don't challenge you because there's a reason you're lying. And I don't want to. And again, if I catch you in a lie and call you out, there's going to be hell to pay. So I don't want to pay any hell. I just kind of want to give me an example of a lives hold you recently. A lie that you told me recently? You're going to be fine. You're not overwhelmed.

Are those lies? Okay. So that's fair. Okay. But I have gotten better. So I'm just going to, you gave me the opportunity. That's true. I am now going to, I am now going to plant the flag for husbands everywhere.

For three days, you told me everything's fine. Yeah. And you can handle it. And then on day four, you're angry and you're crying and you're upset because how did all this stuff get out of control? Yeah. And why is nobody helping you? And why does everybody demand so much of you?

And I'm like, my love, for the last three days, I've been telling you, you don't have to do this stuff. There's no requirement. You can stop. You can take a break. And you're like, no, I can do it. No, I'm fine. I'm fine.

I'm not overwhelmed. I got it. You know, funny thing about overwhelm, it doesn't happen all at once. No. It builds up and builds up and builds up until it overflows. That's true. Well, so what you need to. So really, that's a lie to myself that spills over to you.

And when you spot it, you really should tell me. Because lying to myself is definitely something I still do. But lying to you, I try not to intentionally do. Fair enough. That's true. And it's because, yeah, and it's. Yep. And it's, you know, it's funny because you and I take pride.

in being very honest with each other, I think, where I've met plenty of other married couples who are like, oh, no, there are certain things you just can't say to your spouse, which I think, and I think, you know, everybody has their own covenant in marriage and I, you know, what works for you, works for you. But for me, I just feel like I can't be myself if I'm being dishonest with you. And when I am dishonest, it's usually because I don't even know myself. And so, you know, I want to have, I want your help, right? I married you because you are the opposite of me, because you have the skill sets and experiences and insights that I don't have. So I'm doing myself a disfavor if I'm not honest with you, right? And there's never anything, to me, lying is a big deal

in the first place. So in my personal relationship with my deepest personal relationship, which is what I have with you, I don't want that to ever be tainted with, mistrust. I don't want that to ever be tainted with, you know, a lie that, you know, really in the end isn't going to matter. So that's, that's important to me in my marriage in particular. Yeah. Well, I'm also going to throw out there that, you know, there's different types of lies. Yeah. And I've taught people about all the different types of lies. Yeah. And one of those and what I'm, and what we're saying is not that we don't lie to each other. Because there are different types of lies. So we absolutely have, just like you were saying, when you lie to yourself and then it spills over

onto me, right? Like, that is a lie that you are telling to both you and me. Yeah. So there are instances where we lie. Both of us omit. Oh, yeah. We both absolutely omit. That's true. And omission, a lie of omission, an intentional omission, is still a lie. So I'm not saying that we're like this. That's true. Beacon of honesty. Yeah. That's not us.

That's fair. We are two trained. We are two trained liars. We are not an honest, trustworthy couple. What we are, though, is we are very transparent about the things that matter the most. And one reason that I will say I have really come to appreciate our transparency is because, you know, whenever I don't like something, that you cooked whenever I'm getting tired of eating the same meal over a afternoon or whatever it might be yeah you know what I'm talking I know exactly

you're talking about there is no benefit in me saying I don't want to eat this garbage we just ate this like for the last three days in a row there's no reason there's no benefit there so I will intentionally lie and omit what I'm thinking about that meal won't serve myself very much or I'll go out to eat instead I've had me do it all I'm gonna go to the gym now and I'm just gonna get my own lunch after the gym. Don't worry. That's always a bad sign. I'm just going to go to, what is it? Jimmy Johns or wherever. It's not Jimmy Johns.

I always say the wrong one. You don't even listen to me whenever I use my escape clause. Oh my gosh. But yeah, so we absolutely lie to each other. But the reason that I love the transparency that we have is because if you find yourself in a relationship where you have to lie a lot to keep the other person happy, that is not a right person for you. No. Yeah. Like you should be able to tell some hard truth. Yes. And they need to be able to handle that hard truth.

Otherwise, you're shopping at the wrong freaking store. Yeah. Right? Like that is the wrong person. Because as you get older, as relationships move on, shit just gets more complex. Yeah. So if you're lying now, you're definitely going to be lying in the future. And in the future, you're not going to want to be lying to this person to keep them happy because they're going to start to resent the fact.

that you have to lie to keep them happy. And then you're going to have all sorts of issues about how you look at yourself because they don't look at you as who you really are. So what I appreciate about you, my love, is that I can bring you all of the hard truth. And even though it is not always gracefully taken the first time upon some time to process, like the hard truth is accepted. And I know, like now I know we are like battle tested and we are ready to rock.

And I feel so confident in knowing that I can bring anything to, you. And we've seen the look on some of our married friends' faces when we tell them what we talk about with each other. And they're like, what? So thank you for being that person, for that sounding board that's galvanized. Yeah. And I think that, you know, something else people have to remember is that you have, once you start a lie, you have to continue. And when you're, in Intel for example you're not actually lying for the rest of your life

like you are with your spouse right like maybe you're lying to somebody you're developing for a period of six months or a year but it's not a 40 year marriage that you're carrying the lie on for so it's a completely different scenario

right and I it warms my heart that you appreciate that we attempt to be as transparent as possible with each other because it really is important to me. And I know I communicated that to you when we first met and you've really honored and respected that. And we have had some really difficult conversations, which I do not handle gracefully at first. But you always weather it. You always weather the storm and you give me space to calm it down. And then we can progress from there. And it's great.

And we have more hard conversations in the future because we will be married longer than 40 years, if you think about it. There's a good chance that we're going to be married like 50 to 60 years based on when we got married in our health. That's really exciting. I love you, girl. I have to let you go. And I'm going to say goodbye to everybody else who's watching. Thank you so much for joining our conversation. Full transparency, we are fully transparent with you.

So that's why we're talking to you about what we're talking to you about. We're sharing with you the same kind of things that we talk about every day, the things that we talk about. probably too often, to be honest, Gigi, we probably shouldn't have conversations at bedtime about politics, but we do. And we probably shouldn't be assessing the military risk of the Houthis whenever we're also taking the kids to guitar practice, but we do. So I appreciate the fact that you are in this crazy life with me. And I appreciate the fact that everybody watching right now is watching with us too. So please, if you liked what we talked about today, hit subscribe, share this with a friend, leave a comment. we love hearing your comments. Leave us a question if you want us to answer it on the Q&A.

Leave us your thoughts on anything from the current presidential campaign to the war in the Middle East, the war in Europe, economic hardships that are happening in the United States. There is no lack of things for us to talk about right now as the truly democratic representation of our country that we are trying to be and not the collectivist fears that we are falling victim to where we feel like we must belong to some kind of group. We are a country of independent individuals. And that is one of the things that I was very proud to wear a uniform to defend. And one of the things that Ji and I were very proud to go undercover and risk our lives, trying to defend. And that's a big part of what drives us every day with our mission now with everyday spy. We want to hear from you.

We want to encourage you to have the courage to have your voice and speak your voice. And if we can help answer any of your questions, if we can help make you better, just leave a comment, hit subscribe, share us with a friend, visit us at everydayspy.com, follow us on social media. Anything we can do to help you is really what makes it worth it for us to show up and have these conversations, even on days where it's hard like it was today, my love. It was hard to turn on the camera today. Yeah. It's hard to wear a smile today.

But now that it's all said and done, you feel better, huh? I do. Even though I probably look like a complete mess, but that's okay. This is the real us. And that's not just me being gone for three weeks. So sweet. Folks, thank you so much for your time. Gee, I love you dearly, my girl.

And to everybody, let's keep on kicking ass. And we will see you again soon. Take care.