ExtinctZoo - If Jaws Had Been A Crocodile

Episode Date: September 8, 2025

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At First Citizens Bank, we roll with your goals, because we're built for what you're building. Fit for your ambition for Citizens Bank. Crocodiles, with their built-in armor, massive sizes, devastating bites, and unsettling smiles, are just about the meanest things you can find in the entire animal kingdom. And it certainly doesn't help that they also have garnered a reputation for being, well, mean. And saying these guys have short tempers at the understatement of the sense. with a few of them, like the Sawwater crocodile, often being considered among the world's most aggressive animals.

But there is another animal that gives Crocs a run for their money in the scary department. And hint-h-hint, they kind of make a sound that goes like, do-do, do-do, do-do. And in case you're like, what the heck are these noises he's making? I'm talking about sharks. Now statistically, they're not as mean as crocs, at least not to humans. But boy-oh-boy, can sharks be terrifying. I mean, just look at this, or this, or even this. So yeah, you get the point.

And I've got some unwelcome news for you, because these two bad little nightmares can actually be found swimming in the same places in certain environments, and in one country. I mean, you can even spot the pair feasting together on whales. And yes, thank you, Australia. And so obviously this is not great, but it could be worse. And how so you may ask? Well, unlike tigers and lions, we do not have to worry about the two getting together

and creating some sort of freaksoid hybrid. I mean, Jaws alone is scary enough, so just imagine if it had been a crock shark hybrid instead. No thank you. And so fortunately, no such fusion exists anywhere. But, and it's a big butt, once upon a time, they did. Or at least nature came awfully close to creating a real two-for-one combo. In fact, well over 100 million years ago, an entire group of predators existed that are simply best summarized by their wholesome nickname, the sharkodiles.

Yet officially, they bear a different name, the Thaladosukians. And while these guys have earned themselves a moniker that would lead you to believe that they're both shark and crock, they of course were not, as that goes against both the rules of nature and my own personal rules too. And so obviously they were just one of these things, in this case, the latter, with Thaladosukians currently being classified as a clade of ancient crocodilomorphs that sprouted up during the early Jurassic. And who, despite not being real crocodiles, as far as the modern definition goes, were dissent cousins to the third. the very same ones we see today. Now naturally, they weren't the only group of ancient crocodilomorphs, but they were the

ones that unfortunately for the rest of the planet decided to venture into marine environments way more than normal, triggering a one-of-a-kind evolutionary journey, wherein many of them eventually became fully aquatic marine predators, who spread far and wide during the Jurassic period, enjoying the warm tropical waters that are more abundant at the time. And in these already hellish waters, many turned into apex predators as well, playing similar roles as sharks do today. But let's be honest, just swimming around a lot in the ocean is quite an underwhelming reason for something to be named shark adiles. And I imagine you're expecting something a bit more shark-like than this. But before you click away in frustration, there's

something you should know, which is that not all Thalusukians really lived up to their nickname, with some only itching the Odell part of the name if you get my drift. And this is mainly the result of a great split that existed amongst this clade, which divided the group into two, with the end result being two superfamilis, the teliosyroidia and the metriorincoidia. And these names might not sound that important, but they are, because these two are perhaps the ultimate example of the difference between taking the road more traveled and the one less traveled, or better yet, the one that frankly has never been used. And I say this, because the first superfamily, the teliosyroodia, were the kind of guys who

did the same old, same old, being in some cases marine-based, but not exactly very adapted for life at sea, something which has been seen periodically through history with other groups as well, who could traverse through saltwater, yet mostly retained classical crock shape and features. So a bit dull. But with that said, this is not to say that these guys couldn't be interesting or intimidating, because they did get gosh darn big. Case in point, the Machimosaurus, the pen ultimate teliosauroid, and the biggest Jurassic crock that we know of, measuring the same length as two mid-sized female giraffes stacked on top

of one another, while weighing over three tons. so not a pretty sight to say the least. And of course, in typical crocodilian fashion, they had jaws to match their grizzly appearance, bearing teeth specifically designed for seizing and crushing large prey, namely poor turtles. But occasionally it does seem like dinosaurs ended up getting nipped as well, seeing that even sarapod bones found in one formation showed signs being munched on by a machemosaurus, which possibly serves as evidence that even the biggest land animals on earth couldn't go to the beach without having to worry about their own version of jaws.

Yet alas, the mchimosaurus is not what you've come for. Nor is frankly any other teleosoroid, as the real sharkadiles were the metriro-rencoidia, a group that decided to essentially throw the book of evolution out the window, going on a journey that no other crock did or has done so since, becoming hyper-adapted for marine life. In fact, out of all archosaurs, so birds, crocodilians, non-avian dinosaurs, etc., they alone were by far the best adapted to water, basically reaching a point where they stopped even looking like crocodilomorphs. And this globe wasn't exactly something that happened over one summer, rather occurring gradually over millions of years. But it did begin quite early on, with a divide playing out some 180 million years ago, spurred on by rising water levels, increasing temperatures, and a lack in sharks hogging the food chain of the time, which allowed the Metro Rancordia's ancestors to take to the seas and take their places,

namely around a chain of islands that would one day come to form Europe. Not exactly where you'd expect sea crocs, yet it was there where this family went their level up. It began with the tails, which slowly turned from rounded ends into shark-like flukes, and thus increasing the surface area and providing some more oomph every time their tail slapped against the water, and then meanwhile, their hands and feet slowly lost musculature, while also stretching out, increasing the surface area once more, and in some cases, even fully developing into fins, which is the first for archosaurs. And then in another shocker, these guys also lost something we generally regard as sacred to crocodiles, that being their armor,

Specifically, osteoderms and scales, with this group seemingly taking inspiration from their coexisting buds, the ichthyosaurs and pleasosaurs, evolving smooth, scaleless skin instead. And this might seem like a step in the wrong direction, just chucking out some pretty nifty armor straight into the trash. But their new skin came with a benefit to being less drag-resistant, and sometimes in the ocean it's better to have need for speed over defense, especially when you're the one doing the chasing. And ultimately, these guys became so wickedly well adapted for swimming that there is doubt amongst paleontologists that any were even capable of terrestrial locomotion.

And just to drive this point further that they truly had turned their backs on land, there's indirect evidence their bone morphologies, which suggests that they might have practiced live birthing out at sea, giving up on the whole-lang eggs on land. And this may not sound crazy, but it is, seeing that it would make them again the only archosaurs known to do so. And so with all of this said, obviously they're a bit off compared to their relatives. But they did retain some classical traits like being carnivorous predators, who wielded wicked jaws. definitely fully earning them the title of sharked owls.

And it may not come as a surprise to hear that turning a crock into super swimmers that don't need to come back to land is a very powerful thing. And pretty rapidly, members of this group spread from across the majority of Europe, all the way into the Western Hemisphere, taking up residences in various parts of North and South America as well, where they enjoyed pelagic lives. In other words, the open waters away from shore where marine life can swim freely in any direction. So they had choices. And it wasn't just the sheer range that these reptilians had going on.

but also density, as in various environments, multiple kinds could be found. The more the merrier, I guess. I mean, we even know that in the Kimmeridge Clay formation in England, that there wasn't just one or two species swimming around, but six at the minimum. That's a lot of crock. And in case you had forgotten, this was the Jurassic we're talking about. So in those areas you still find pleasosaurs, plesiosa, sharks, and other carnivorous fish. So adding six sharkodiles to the list honestly just ain't fair. And the unfairness continues in that an abundance of sea crocs didn't actually make their lives any harder, only yours, presuming you're a Jurassic seagower, as instead of competing, these guys chose niche partitioning instead. In other words, each becoming great at killing their own

things. And this mainly manifested in two ways, body size and teeth. At the one end of the spectrum, you had the, let's say, less intimidating sharkodiles, like the raciosaurus, who were relatively speaking not so big. With this genus in particular, only measuring around five, feet or 1.52 meters at its max. So think a fair-sized alligator gar, i.e. you wouldn't necessarily be happy about swimming into one, but it wouldn't be the end of the world, literally, as it likely would not be interested in you. As coincidentally, its snout was a bit like that of a gars as well, being narrow and slender, designed to catch and pier smaller prey like fish, as well as the occasional crustacean or cephalopod, which are actually kind of off limits for most crocs,

as they are too salty, and thus eating them leaves a dehydration. Yet being a marine-adapted species, the Rachiosaurus, like its other relatives, had salt glands that allowed them to eat cephalpods without care, and even in a sense, drink salt water. And from fossil records we've gathered, the rachiosaurus stuck to the waters off the coast of Jurassic Germany, which were subtropical back then. Yet, Metro-O-Rank kids of similar sizes, could be found in many other areas too, ensuring fish everywhere could experience the same profoundest pleasure of being hunted by shark crocs. And really, these smaller-sized members could kind of be categorized together as the fish eaters. That's typically what they stuck to.

But even this envelope could be pushed, as some of these sushi lovers were a bit sizier, so you could say. And there's probably no better example of this than the Metro Rancis itself. And if you're a paleo-condensure, there's actually a chance you've seen this guy in the past. But before I get to that, I'll just say that this genus was definitely a step up from the previous, with the adults almost cracking the double digits and feet, as it was about 9.8 feet at its longest, or around 3 meters, but it still had a more slender billed and snout.

So sushi it was. Now, this being said, it could eat some pretty, dang big fish. I have the remains of one fossil show that it partially devoured the gills of the fish, lead-sychthes, which is a pretty metal considering that lead sickies is the largest non-shark fish to have ever lived. And how big is that, you may ask? Well, about 45 tons and 54 feet, or 16.5 meters from head to tail. So we're talking about a sperm whale-sized fish here. And so clearly, this meant that Metro Rancis had quite the appetite. But I will say, that we don't know if it was scavenging a carcass, or taking a free bite out of a dying individual. But the point still stands,

which is that just because something primarily eats fish does not mean that you should feel too safe around it, especially when applied to the sharkadales. However, with that said, I would still take the Metro Rhyancis any day over the next step up in the shark adele lineage. It's any bigger than this and you start to notice some new traits. And let's just say they're nothing good. Namely, the larger members seem to have developed broader, more powerful jaws, and teeth that were deadly to pretty much everything, not just fish, as they became laterally compressed and often serrated, allowing them to share through flesh like butter. And a prime example of Metro Rankid in this power class would be the Dacosaurus, who also happens to be, arguably, the most famous of the bunch. And for good reason,

as it was an uncomfortably common face during the Jurassic and early Cretaceous, showing up in three different continents, those being Europe, North America, and South America, where in each it was a straight-up menace. And this is also where swimming into a shark adele goes from unsettling to straight-up lethal, as these guys would 100% be interested in something your size, and 110% capable of dealing with you too, seeing that the dachosaurus could be 5 meters or 16 feet in length. So think large tiger shark, except the problem here is that their teeth actually gives the modern tiger sharks a run for their money, or should I say a swim for their money, being very similar to those seen in certain dinosaurs. In fact, these teeth were so similar that when its teeth

were first discovered by paleontologists, they thought they had found another megalosaurus, not a marine crock. And those teeth, in conjunction to some O.P. as Heck, jaws, also gave the dachosaurus the ability to hunt prey much larger than itself, and it has even been implicated in taking down the likes of K. Polosaurus, which was also a marine reptile, being a bigger ichthyosaur, which is about the size of a massive great white. And though it is hard to say for sure, the dachosaurus is often labeled to have been hypercarnivorous, which gobbled up just about anything it could catch, including pleasiosaurus, fish, tarasors that they venture too close, or even others of its own kind. Additionally, paleontologists believed that Dacosaurus was among its environment's top

hunters and was probably an apex predator. And though I am using Dacosaurus as an example of the lethality of sharkadiles, I do want to stress that it was by no means the exception, as after all, there were multiple other medium-to-largeized metro rancids who spread terror throughout the seas, including the Agyosaurus, Suketus, and Tyrannonustis, which based upon the genus name alone, you should know it was not good news. And I'd even go to say that these guys, were even meaner than the Dacosaurus. As Agiosaurus wasn't necessarily larger, but it did have the largest teeth of the entire family, which even rivaled those of certain megatheropods, led the Carcrodontosaurus, who was,

by the way, up to ten times heavier. Meanwhile, Tyrannonustis and Suketus could both be above five meters or sixteen feet, and had teeth that were alarmingly blade-like in shape, reminding us all once again that sharked owls in particular were built to kill anything, be it things their size, smaller, or larger. Interestingly, though, not all bigger metro rankids chose to follow this dental path, at least not to the same degree, as a few actually ended up walking or swimming the line between specialized fissures and big-game hunters, which is nicely demonstrated by Torvonustis, who was regarded as a transitional form between the more paciferous marine crocs and the hypercarnivorous

ones. Its body was long and robust, comparable to a great white, its teeth, more chunky than usual, yet its snout was still on the narrower side, relatively speaking. and I had more teeth than normal, and apparent sign that I liked its daily dose of omega-3, seeing that more shiny pearls usually meant better odds of ensnaring pesky, agile fish. However, just a quick forewarning to all my time travelers out there, please do not feel like this implies you could swim up to this guy and leave unharmed, as it likely had no problem with non-fish food. And if you need any more reasons not to pet it,

know that the largest specimens discovered were still not done growing, meaning you need a bigger boat. And even then, you still likely have problems. as one study found it to have likely rivaled the size of Pleasiosuchus. And while the name probably means nodded to you, let's just say it's terrible news. Because simply put, Pleasiosuchus until this point, had been completely in its own weight class amongst its family, holding the distinct title being the largest metro rancid to have ever arisen. First appearing in the Jurassic period, the Pleasio Sucas popped up between England and Spain,

where in its ecosystems it was among the largest predators, period, achieving a length of up to 8 meters or 26 feet. And honestly, with that size, it's kind of hard to imagine a fin crock that large. So another way to digest this is imagining being stocked by something the size of a killer whale that looked a bit like a crocodile minus the scales, and then just toss in fins in a tail fluke for good measure. Not exactly comforting thoughts. And it goes without saying that a pleasiosuchus didn't get any nicer than its kin at this size, possessing its very own hellish mouth that was decorated with dozens upon dozens of large robust curved teeth, which could deliver devastating bites capable of removing huge slaps of flesh and causing rapid,

blood loss and shock, and a, also death. And part of the reason why its bites were so lethal, beyond just having sharp teeth, was that its skull, even for a crock, was absurdly, sturdy, dense, and robust. And yes, these words are a bit redundant, but it was just that thick, and you definitely did not want to be caught by one under any circumstances. Though frankly, avoiding capture was basically a hopeless situation, as the plesiosuchus, despite being a chunkster, was still a speed demon, possessing not only elongated fins, but also, a very large tail, and was all in all quite the package, and more than enough to thrust the sea crock all the way to the top of the food chain, as it appears that the Pleasiosuchas evolved to

take down what usually were considered the untouchables, in other words, the other marine reptiles. And that's pretty insane, because while not so domineering now, during the Jurassic, marine reptiles were the goats of the sea, and I don't mean like the curly-horned ones. With these guys reigning supreme just about everywhere, and came in many shapes and sizes to the Pleasosaurs, Pleiosaurs, Ectheasaurus, and of course, other Thaladosukians. And obviously, some of these guys were giant, with a few being apex predators in their own right. And overall, life was good for this bunch. And yet, to Epleasusus, they were just food.

And it might have even held the edge over other apex predators in the region. I mean, to be honest, the only group that really would oppose a problem or challenge to the larger metro rankids were potentially the pliosors, who could be a tad longer and heavier. But I wouldn't count the homies out just yet. I mean, just take a peek at those teeth. And nature certainly didn't either. As overall, the 17 or so genera of sea crocs that emerged would co-rule the Earth's seas for millions upon millions of years,

despite the pliosaurs, with lone genera like the dachosaurus, even enjoying rains for over 20 million years. Of course, though, when we look around today, there aren't any flippered crocs swimming around, thankfully. But it does beg the question of where they went. Because, I mean, how does something that seems so overpowered,

to go extinct in the first place. We're talking about a shark crocodile here. And that's the thing. We can't actually seem to figure out what happened. With the only concrete piece of information being that at some point in the early Cretaceous, this group disappeared, with the youngest member having been the Tri-Continental geosaurus, who disappeared around 136 million years ago. And while no breakthroughs have been made on their extinction, there are a few hypotheses in what brought down this one-of-a-kind family. The first idea points a finger at a common suspect, mother nature herself, as during the Jurassic Cretaceous boundary, the Earth did undergo marine regression, causing a supposed crash in metro-ranking biodiversity. And then, while already down

on their knees, or flippers in this case, they were dealt two other big blows, climate change and a shift in marine biota, causing their already stressed state to turn fatal, and thus they slowly faded away. But given the fact they did make it into the early Cretaceous, even if not for that long, some believe that the end of the Jurassic didn't actually have much to do with their vanishing, and thus leading to the second idea, which ironically starts with something that feared these crocs, fish, specifically, teleosts, who underwent significant diversification around this time, which was a problem as many sharkadiles struggled to keep up with their evolving prey, kind of like a reverse Uno. And then to make matters worse, it was in their final days that a new opponent appeared on the scene,

one that would undo things for many, and that was the Mosasors, which actually were inervingly lot like the sharkadiles, a bad omen for the latter as the Mosasors would come to take over, with the idea being that this hostile invasion of the waters proved too much for our crocky friends, and thus they conceded a control over the oceans and ending the only time that shark-like crocs were a thing. And if you want to learn more about the sheer craziness that are Mosasors, then I suggest you check out my video on what was essentially the deadliest ocean of all time. Anyways, thanks for watching, and until next time on Extinct Zoo. Enjoy more ways to save at Ralph's, like low prices in every aisle.

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