F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Ask the Roblox Children

Episode Date: February 23, 2026

We're always bragging about our great advice, but have you ever thought of where it REALLY comes from?  Topics include never nude, definitely not premature ejaculation, the dating experts lied. Join the Patreon!

Hello friends, my name is Dane Miller. And I'm Nile Span. And we're your fuck buddies. We are a sex and dating advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations and turn them into sexy, sticky situations. We grab them by the scruff of their neck and we haul them onto the podcast, the questions, that is. And we ask them, hey, what's your answer? And they tell us their answer. And we tell the answer to you.

You lost the plot on that one. We answer questions based on the topics Dane mentioned, sex and dating. We do it here. We do it in the podcast every Monday. And one extra bonus Monday a month. It's not necessarily a Monday. It's an extra episode a month. Yeah.

We do do that. I do want to say, I apologize if you were looking forward to our live show. We had just a perfect storm of scheduling problems and some stuff that was going on. I got to put my foot in the machine. Yeah. And I'll have to put his foot in a machine. And that's all we're going to tell you about that. And it was just kind of one of those things where it was perfect and then it went so horribly wrong.

Yeah. So we will have another show soon and it will be even better than the show that could have been because that show could not have been. Yeah. Because of the foot and the machine. Because of the foot machine. Yeah. Foot in the machine is the precursor to Florence in the machine, but they beat us out in the end. Yeah.

Speaking of body things, turns out I have bartender's elbow. Hell yeah. And that a neat little thing that you do when you do a job for, I guess, God only knows, like 20 years. Too fucking long. Yeah. Yeah. I just, I was shaking cocktails too hard.

Pouring beers too hard. Mm-hmm. Lining up shots too hard. I wonder, maybe I'll find out I have servers toe tomorrow. Yeah. You know? It's just so lame. I was like, really?

This is it? And I was like, doing so well beginning of the year. I was like, I'm going to get back. into shape. My whole goal was like, I want to be in the best shape of my life when I hit 40. That's, that was my goal, right? Two years. I was like, that's a pretty achievable goal, I think, in terms of, considering I've never really been in very good shape. I was like, it's, it's an achievable goal if I stick to it for two years. This year, I was like, you know, this is my getting everything moving again, mobility regaining. And then my elbow within a month was like, actually, how about

I make sure you can never do that again. Well, like, pretty much same here. I was so hype for, like, this year, especially with regards to, like, health and fitness and shit, because, like, I'd back stuff yet last year from being in a fucking bus crash. And, like, I had to start doing, like, deadlifts and stuff to rebuild, like, parts of my back to anchor the injured parts back in place. But, like, the knock-on effect of that was, like, I actually started to do it a little bit more at the gym, which was nice.

And then, like, when I was finally feeling good and, like, getting back into climbing, game back into like, you know, lifting and stuff, I day one of the new year, go to the climbing gym. And I'm like, look at me, day one in the gym. And then my partner falls and hurts her ankle. So that was a disaster. And then within a week, my fucking toe is absolutely destroyed. And I haven't walked since. So it's been like, what, five, six weeks now of just not being able to move really. It's terrible. So you know what? When the chips are down, you make lemons. This is our way of saying, hey, if you were, there's a young guy. at my my work who is in great shape in terms of like musculature he's a very he's he goes to the gym he

lifts he lifts you know he worries about that but the other day he was like oh i'm so stiff my leg flexibility is bad i was like listen to me like grabbed them by the face it's like listen to me please for the love of god as someone who is almost twice your age stretch it i know i know you think you're invincible i know you think you know better and i know you think this will never matter but please for the love a fucking God. Stretch. Just take 10 minutes after every workout and stretch. I swear it would mean everything to you in 10 years. I wish someone had told me that. So if you're out there listening to this and you think, hey, nothing bad will ever happen to me, I'll live forever. Just stop to 10 minutes of stretching. Please for us. And if you're out there and you're like, wow,

things are all going wrong and terrible and it fucking sucks out here. Yeah, same. But you know what? Is that going to stop me from laughing for the next hour while making this podcast? No, it will not. Because this week we're going to be talking about. I don't like getting fully naked when having casual sex. Is that weird? I'm worried about my ejaculation time. According to the so-called dating experts, it should have been easy.

Mom got mad. I had sex. I don't like getting fully naked when having casual sex. Is that weird? I include, they like, blurt out some of the words, and they're like, because I don't know what Reddit's policies are, blah, blah, blah, blah. blah, blah, blah. I've noticed when I'm with someone casually, they of course go to undress me. I really don't like it. And I'm not sure why. Getting completely nude feels intimate. But at the same time,

so is intercourse. So it seems very backwards on my part. Just trying to understand if that's strange. So one of the things I really like about these questions and I'm just doing the show in general is when people are like, I understand what I'm doing is weird. Is this weird? Yeah. I'm doing this weird thing. And here's the specifics of why I think it's weird. Is it weird? I fully understand why it's weird. Is it weird? Yeah.

It's like when people are like, hey, this guy's a piece of shit to me. Am I overreacting? Look, is it weird? Yes. You've acknowledged that it's weird. You, well, let's, before we get into this, let's talk about how weird. Right? Okay, let's put it on the weirdness scale.

Let's put on the weirdness scale because I think it all matters on like what level of not getting fully nude are you at. Right? Are you like Winnie the Pooh, right? Have you got a t-shirt on and nothing else? Right? Or are you like, oh, I can't take my shoes off, which like for women can be hot. Like everyone's all like, oh, wear your heels in bed, blah, blah, blah. No one's ever like wearing your fucking sneakers, bro.

Get your fucking, I don't know, Nike's on the bed, right? No one wants that. So that's weird. I don't know, may I be in the right situation, I think. You've been told to keep your shoes on? No, no. I'm just saying, I'm just saying if, you know, your dirty Nike's. they're about to go out or whatever, and then all of a sudden it's, you know, like,

leggings up, shoes on. I think that could be. That's fine, but I'm saying. I'm not talking about women. Women with shoes on. Sure, that's fine. Men with their dirty Nike's in the bed? Is this a man asking this question?

I don't know why I assumed so. Because I'm going to assume the other way around. I assume this is a woman. I assume this is a guy. If it's a dude, I feel like it's much harder. There's really only one part of us that needs to be exposed for, for sex. Well, for penetrative, yes. Yes, yes.

I mean, either way. Look, I understand. I just think it fully matters. Like, if you're like, I got to wear my hat. Or like, oh, I need, you know, socks on. I don't think anyone's going to blink an eye. Like, barely pull my pants down so you can awkwardly fit in or out or whatever. Maybe whatever.

But like, if you're like got to keep my jumper on, my hoodie. You know, like the clothing you have on you still can be weird. Like, if you're just having a quickie and it's like pulling it down. and you're just kind of getting to it, that's fine. I think it's less about, I agree with what you're saying. I think the level of undress in which you're getting does increase the weirdness. But I think it's the fact that if we're going to go under the guys of this is something that they need to keep on in order to have sex and not like what's the weirdest thing that could stay on during sex. Yeah.

I think, hmm, hmm. Because everything like, I would say some sort of headwear, like a hoodie. Like a hood or a hat. Hood up is unhinged. Like that's just unconscious. Although it's kind of cute. If unless it's like you need it up. Right.

Again, I think I think I'm thinking like one time you're thinking like a hoodie and it's in a blanket for. Yes. If someone is like, hold on, we're going to have sex. And he's got his hood up.

Activate. Yeah. But I think I think it's the fact that like you, it's not that you don't want to get naked. It's not that you have an insecurity that is you're, you're afraid to take your clothes. off. You're saying, hey, because this is casual sex, I'm not

going to take my clothes off. And it doesn't seem like it's a, based on like an insecurity or based on a fear of like, oh, I don't want people to judge my body. I don't want people to see X, Y, and Z part of me. I don't want this. It's no, we are not in a, the sex that we're having doesn't

warrant or deserve full nudity. So it's like a value call. Yeah, that's the weird thing. As if that like, and they, they address it in the question of being like, well, you know, I'm still having sex. So. Yeah. Arguably a far more intimate thing.

It's hard to like say it's a value thing because like if you were that quote unquote prudish or so reserved and conservative, you wouldn't be having sex. It doesn't really matter about what you're wearing in order to have sex. It's still the sex that you're having. And if you're worried about it being casual, it's still casual sex regardless of like whether in a fucking park or a suit of armor. Yeah. I wonder is it like a you're not like you're only having casual sex with people that you're not that familiar with or like that comfortable with. And then it's like the only people you end up getting comfortable with are people you're in relationships with. Like if that's where you're at and it's like you're not comfortable enough to get naked around them to which I would say then why are you comfortable enough to have sex with them?

Yeah. But again, it doesn't seem like it's a comfort thing. It seems like a it is something. It's one of them, right? Like it's either it's it's either a value call or a comfort thing because like they don't seem to know why. Yeah. And it's like are you viewing this as a like a penance that you have to pay? Like I can't, this is casual sex.

So I can't get naked and fully enjoy it. I need to stay slightly armored to protect myself. I have to wear my itchy jumper just so I don't fully even to sin. Or are you using as a punishment to the person you're having sex with? It's like because this is casual sex. you don't get full access. This is the $3 Patreon tier. You're not a $10.

Like, it's all, like, that's what really stands out as strange to me. It's not the fact that you're wearing clothes. Because like, I've hooked up with people who have been like, hey, so the bra stays on or, hey, the shirt stays on. And that's fine. Because either they were insecure about, you know, their boobs and where they go when the bra comes out.

I don't give a shit. I want you to be as comfortable as possible during a sexual experience. That means a shirt stays. on if that means a bra stays on, whatever. I think maybe you know, long term, it could be a problem if, if every time. Yeah, yeah. Just more along the lines of like, if we can't

reassure you and work on your self-esteem to get you to believe that I'm going to find you attractive no matter what, like no matter whether your boobs sag to the side or whatever. Like, then I think that could be a problem long term. But when you first start hooking it with someone, and especially with casual

sex, if someone says, hey, I want to keep this on, that's fine. But if, I think you really need to look into why you're doing this. Yeah, I think the weirdest part of this is that you don't know why. And you seem to also clock that it's weird. Like if you didn't think it was weird and other people were saying it was weird and you were coming to us to ask, that would be one thing. But for you to be like, I don't know why and I do think it's weird, but also kind of want us to say it's not weird. Like, why are you scared of looking into why you're doing things, right?

Because I'm pretty sure with a little self-reflection, you could probably figure this out yourself, why you do it. And once you know why you're doing it, that's a pretty good indication of like whether you should continue to do it. And if so, why? But like once you have your kind of like mind figured out around that, you'll be able to make that decision instead of just being in, is it weird? I don't know. Yeah. I mean, a lot of these times whenever I have these situations where I, if I get the, you know, quote unquote, ick or if I have a roadblock with a person or a relationship, or sexual experience.

If you have Roblox, you play Roblox. If I, that's how I solve one of my problems. I just, I just hop on Roblox. Ask my builder buddies.

I don't know what happens on Robles. Yeah. Just seven year olds. I assume it's just cheap Minecraft. Kids are, I just pissed off so many

Roblox heads. Oh, I'm so sorry. Kids are, the kids don't have that filter, right? They're the best place to go to talk to you about your

sexual problems. Yeah. That's what people don't. and understand. And look, I'm sorry, we've been doing this long enough. I think it's time to give them a peek behind the curtain. We got 18 children in the background in each room and we just filtered the questions to them. They're all muted and they just tell us what to say. Yeah, that would explain a lot of the advice we've given. That would explain a lot of things that we say. No, okay, so here's what I do. I go like, Roblox.

Look at the, look at the question that you're asking where you say it's like, oh, it's casual sex. Just start there. Be like, do I have a problem with casual sex? Do I think it lesser? Do I judge it? Do I feel shame about it? Do I feel guilt about it? Do I not like these people enough? Like, where do you stand on casual sex?

And I think that is like first, that's the foundation of like how you're going to build your answer tower and figure out. Because like if you say like, yeah, when I have casual sex, I feel cheap or I feel immediately guilty or I regret it instantly. And like when are you having this casual sex? Is it like when you're drunk and like sad at the end of a night and you pick someone up just to kind of like make yourself feel better and then you don't want to take your clothes off and then you go home? Is that how it always is? Or is it with like an established like fuck buddy situation where things are good and positive right? Because I'm guessing of the two. It's not the second one. Or it is and you're bitter because it's not progressing to you know what I mean? So I think I think you need to like really come to terms with and be very honest with yourself about the sex that you're having. What is your hang up? with this. If you're totally cool with it and you don't feel bad about it and you like it and it's enjoyable and you, you understand that it's just casual sex, then you can like move on to another stage of being like, why do I keep my clothes on? Who is this for? Is it for me? Is it not

for them? Like what's the, what's the reason the clothes stay on? Because I think like, and then you just sort of like keep going one layer above. Once you solve that sort of like first big question, you go to the next one. Be like, why, why do I keep the clothes on? What is, who is it for? What is it serving. What does it give me? What does it take from me? And you just keep like asking yourself those questions. And look, it's going to be hard. It's going to suck. And there's going to be times where you're going to want to make excuses for yourself. But you need to understand that like no one is here judging you. It's just you and your thoughts. And I know that's fucking scary sometimes. But it's not like you then have to write these all down and submit them for approval to someone. This is for you.

And if you at the end of the day are just like, oh, shit, I hate casual sex. And it makes me feel like shit. And the only reason I don't feel like absolute shit is because I've brainwashed myself into thinking that as long as I keep my shirt on, it's fine. I've retained some self dignity or self work. Then stop having casual sex. You're doing a poor job to yourself or deal with whatever. Yeah, review the kind of like weird value system you're assigning to it. Because like if you're slut shaming yourself for no, you know, you could be torturing yourself for no reason, right? And you could either, again, stop doing the harmful behaviors or get over the kind of like toxicity that you've kind of like internalized, right? Yeah. Both are good things to work on because either way, you'll be having a better life going forward. But Dane's completely right. You'll get to answers, but you'd never have to share them with anybody. Even if they're answers you don't like, it's just things you need to know about yourself. So it's like whatever answer you get to, it's better for you to do it than not to.

And it's like, what do you, what do you scared of? Yeah. I mean, like, I've had situations like this where like I've had a recurring. sexual partner or whatever. And then like it doesn't feel right. And you really have to sort of like figure out and be like, oh, okay, I'm being super unfair in this situation where it's like, I can tell, I know that they are more into me than I am to, I am into them. I know that like they are coming over at 2 a.m. because I ask hoping for something more, whereas I'm just horny. And that's not a fair thing to do. And you have to like make that like really hard conversation with yourself and being like,

look, I need to either have a... My hoardiness isn't worth their kind of like emotional well-being. Yeah. And it's like, I have to be like, I don't want to be a bad person. So I'm going to have a real hard conversation with myself to be like, hey, you need to stop doing this. Or at the very least, be like, you need to have a real conversation with this person to figure out where you guys stand. And make sure that they at least can can, can, you know, make an informed decision. Whereas like, the alternative to that is I'm going to put my blinders on. and pretend like there isn't something in the back of my head screaming at me. And I'm just going to keep going forward with this behavior until someone gets hurt.

And that sucks. That's a bad way to live. And that's the thing. I think a lot of people aren't willing to sit down and think about that because if they do, they know they'll probably get to the point where they either have to, one, cut off a thing that they enjoy, i.e. having sex, right? Because selfishly, that is good for you in that situation. It's just not good for the other person or you're not doing it for the right reasons.

or you have to put yourself an awkward conversation thing, which a lot of people hate having. So it's like either way, you know, to delve deeper into this feeling is going to lead to bad things for you, but they are good, bad things,

if you think about it. They're just hard things, right? And it's also like, there's usually a point of time where you have to come to terms of the fact that, like, I'm making a bad decision or I am doing something that is irresponsible

with another person's feelings. And it sucks to, like, have that conversation with yourself. Because no one wants to think, like, no one wants to be like, I'm a bad person or I'm doing a bad thing. It's way easier to just be like, it seems strange.

It's weird. And you make your excuses and you ignore the problem and whatever. It's way easier to do that than be like, oh, yeah, I'm being a bad person or I'm on the path to doing something unfair or whatever. It's harder to have that conversation with yourself than to just be like, if it's a problem, it'll come up. even though it's like every sort of alarm and whistle is in your head being like it's already a problem it's going to be a problem you know you could see the the fucking brick wall you're driving full speed at but you're hoping that like maybe it's just paper and I'll smash through it it's funny if I ignore the brick wall won't hurt me uh this is from shut banger I'm worried about my ejaculation time I'm new sex I've only had sex maybe two dozen times but the thing is I always and always oh man This is a wild question. The thing is, I always and always come very soon the first round. It's not premature ejaculation.

It's all in control, but as soon as I start thrusting, I just feel like I'm going to come. And so I'm forced to stop. The thrusting is hardly a few seconds and I'm already close. This really frustrates me and my partner too. Right now I'm quite young, 22, so it's fine because I can get hard in a few minutes. And then it's 101% in my control. I can last even up to 25 minutes or even more. When it's my second round, not only is the thrusting way harder, but also way more pleasurable because of the control I have.

I'm just worried as I become old, maybe 30s, I'm pretty sure after one round will be very difficult for me to get hard again for some time. Right now I'm able to get hard maybe five times in a night, but it won't be the same as I become old. I assume your sensitivity won't also be the same as you become old, so you're probably okay. But I don't know why you're so gung-ho on me like it's not premature ejaculation. It is. It is. That's okay. It's specifically what it is, my guy.

I'm coming before I want to. It's not me coming before I want to. Yeah. Like, yes, you, that's what it is. And that's kind of why I brought it where it's just like this, this terror of the idea that it's premature ejaculation. And being like, it's not it. I'm in full control. You're not.

No one's in full control. And like, I don't want to be. Really? No. Right. I don't want to be completely in control. Like sex should be there should be some passion There should be some intimacy.

There should be some spontaneity Danger Yeah I ticked terror That no one knows the time on But I mean like that's the best sex right When you're like it's feeling good It's feeling good

And then something so hot happens That you're like Oh fuck whether it's someone saying something Or someone doing something Like that's the Google part The idea of being in control To that degree and like Something hot happening going

yes, no, like, no, that's, no, no one wants that, you know. You don't need to worry. Like, you being that old is further away. You have no idea what'll happen between now and then. Vis-a-vis your elbows could become bartender's elbows. Your toes could become server toes. Your dick could be majestic by then or terrible. You might be dead.

I don't think you need to worry. Also, the odds are if you're that sensitive, you're going to be still fine. getting it up. Like I can't imagine you're going to be that sensitive, but then also be like, well, it's done. I think you'll be fine. But also it's like the more you have sex, the less exciting it's going to be for you in a way. Like I don't think I've ever come quicker than when I was like a 15 year old having sex for the first few times. And now it's fine. So look, even though you're out of puberty, your hormones are still fucking going crazy. You say you're new to sex. It's, it's all new. It's sort of, it's that overload, right? Like sex is, we've, we've,

talked about it so many times. Sex is so much a mental game as it is a physical game. So the idea that like you're so amped up and probably so turned on and into your partner and into the idea of having sex. Also probably freaking out about coming early, obviously, based on the question, which is going to make you, spoiler, come early. Yeah. So there's a couple different things you can do. One, if you know this is a problem and you're fine the second time around, before you hook up with someone, jerk off. Yeah. Just get one out of the way. Just rub one out of the day. Yeah. Just hammer out a little quick before it happens, it's fine. Second, if you guys are going multiple rounds and you can get hard like two minutes after, it wasn't matter of the first time is

a little fast. Also, like, you say your partner's annoyed. Is that true? Like, is that just a thing you're kind of assigning onto them? Or are you being weird about it and thus annoying them? Or is there no foreplay and that's why she's getting annoyed because all of a sudden you're like stopping. It's like, because if she's, if you're doing proper foreplay and like, you know, you're not being weird about it, it feels kind of shitty for her to be pissy over you not thrusting all of a sudden. I'm like, I don't know any girls that are like that. So it seems more likely that you've kind of made penetration to be all and end all. So it's like you starting and then stopping is kind of frustrating because now all of a sudden she's not kind of getting hers. So, yeah.

A great work around is like she's not going to care about whether or not you're thrusting. if she's coming relentlessly. So I think that's a very good point that we need to talk about in terms of premature ejaculation. The reason premature ejaculation or the way that premature ejaculation becomes a problem is, as Nail said,

that your, you coming is like you's getting hard and then you coming is when sex begins and when sex ends. If that's all it is, if it's just you thrusting is sex, then yes, premature ejaculation is going to be a problem.

It's the same way as like if you have a micropoeuvre, or, you know, you have ED or anything like that. These problems, quote unquote, that make sex difficult, quote unquote, are a problem when you don't zoom out and look at sex as a experience that has two people usually that should receive pleasure. Yeah. Multiple limbs and tongues and mouths and various avenues of pleasure, many of which do not

involve a penis. Yeah. So if you're like, well, you know, I can, I have a micro penis and I can come through penetrative sex or whatever, but I don't think my partner is satisfied. And so what can I do? The world hates. It's like, no, you have fingers. You as now said, you've got, you can bring in toys. You've got a mouth. If all sex is, is your penis going inside something and then when you come it finished, then yes, it's going to be bad regardless of how fast you come, regardless of how big your dick is, regardless of how hard you are. It doesn't matter. None of those matter. You could have a, you could have a, big old fucking 10-incher and go for 20 minutes, 30 minutes, anytime you want to. And if that's all you do, no one's going to have any fun. Yeah. At least not all the time. It'll eventually become a chore. If no pleasure is being received by your partner, then like it doesn't really matter about any of those external situations because

they're not being pleasured. So not being pleasured by a 10-inch dick, a micro penis, a 5-inch dick is the exact same thing. There's no difference. If you're not finishing or enjoying sex, it doesn't matter how big the dick is, how hard the dick is anything, how long you last. It doesn't matter. So as Nell said, if this is a problem, if you are coming too soon, then treat that first round. Again, if you're saying, I can rebound real quick, then treat that first round as foreplay. Whatever. You know, you, and I think you also bring up a good point because I didn't catch it of you saying, oh, I stop. That's worse than finishing, taking a break and going down on it for two minutes. and then starting up again fresh and and you know ready to go if you're pumping twice and being like yes I would understand I would get annoyed too if someone was riding me and bounced twice and then was like stop and just sit there and do nothing like yeah that sucks man don't do that yeah again unless you're stopping is like you've stopped thrusting but you're still doing everything else but I don't know why would they be annoyed if that was the case right so yes that's what you got to do and like you're

I'm worrying about how your dick is going to be in your 30s after you've just started having sex now. Like you're you're putting the cart so far before the horse that like the horse hasn't met the cart yet. Can't even see the cart. The car's over in the next town. The cart's actually already arrived where the horse is meant to bring it. So what the fuck's the horse going to do now? The horse doesn't have a job. Horse is going to be turned into a glue.

So good job. Poor old Ben. We got to take him out back and destroy him. This is, again, sex is also a mental game. So being this paranoid, you're writing a self-fulfilling prophecy right now. You're Eidipus at this point in time of being like, I'm going to get so in my head about the quality of my lovemaking at 22. When it just started.

Because I tell you, the first time you're too tired or too hot or whatever and your your dick gets a little softer than it should be or you can't get harder, you can't finish, you're going to be like, oh, shit, it's happening. I'm getting old. I'm 30. Everything's, everything's coming down. hit 26 and the whole world's collapsing. I'll never have sex again.

You're going to get so fucking weird about that. It's going to throw your partner for a loop. It's going to throw you for a loop. You're going to get fucking weird and obsessive about it. That's going to only make it worse. Then you're going to start taking those gas station pills and they're going to explode your balls. You're being edipus. You should be eat a pussy.

Yeah, exactly. You got this. Don't worry. You're fine. This is more of a rant than a question, but kind of a, you know, this is by purifying elemental. According to the so-called dating experts, should have been easy. And we're dating experts, so I assume this is our fault. I am 25, six foot three. Fuck, they finally figure out as the kids. Oh, man. I am 25, six foot three, full head of hair, decent face, a few female friends,

respectable job as a teacher. I don't make a lot, though. Yet I'm still a 25-year virgin whom women scoff at. It's like they are eager to get to know me, yet after I open my mouth, they lose interest. Online dating doesn't work. My circle is too limited to meet anyone. Cold approaching is my only option, which makes my anxiety level skyrocket. I think I must have a severe case of autism slash bad social skills. In my experience, looks get your foot in the door, but in the end, women are attracted to your vibes, your energy. And I have jacked shit in that department. With time, my looks will fade and I will fall into an undatable category pretty fast. No one wants an introverted person who rarely goes out, has no mainstream topics of discussion and has a low,

energy personality. I'm sorry, what is the problem from dating? What are dating people telling this man? That it should have been easy, dang. Look, I don't know what dating people you're talking about, but I don't know if any dating person is like, hey, as long as you got a full head of hair and a decent face, women will be lining up for you. You don't need to have any common interest or personality or the ability to talk to anyone. You don't need any of that shit. Head of hair, decent face. Let's go. Hey, you're forgetting the most important thing. Sixth three. Oh shit. Yeah. No. It should have been easy. Yeah. To be fair, though, like, that is basically a lot of men's dating advice is just like, oh, if you're not six foot, whatever, and don't have hair, you're fucked. And then

it's just like, everyone else is like, oh, man. Like, it's insane. But I don't understand how this person is like, huh, there could be more to it than looking good. Yeah. And him, him being to be like, oh, women go on vibes. Yeah. Dude. Yeah. They want to. like get to know me apparently. I should have hobbies and interests. Yeah, what do you say about that? Dating people? They want people with energy.

I have none. They want people with common mainstream interests. I don't have that. I hate going outside. I'm an introvert. I stay at home. Like, why are you surprised? What does mainstream interests mean?

What do you think that is? I assume Sabrina Carpenter. Yeah, fair. That's it. That's the one mainstream interest. Because I'm thinking right now, I was like, have I ever been interested? mainstream interests? Like, I don't really listen to pop music. Like, look, no. Will I bang out some

Carly Ray on my phone and Spotify when I'm? Not even the mainstream artist, though, really, if you think about it. I guess. Like, maybe I do like a stream song. Supreme Harpenter, I'd say like that, like Taylor Swift is probably the most mainstream you could get. Yeah, mainstream than Taylor. Yeah, maybe like Game of Thrones if we're talking about like a TV show that has like just such broad appeal, like, or breaking back. or something, right? Like, if you want to just be like, I like the most popular things,

that's probably mainstream appeal. But, like, I would say, honestly, that's the worst thing to have. Because, like, if I meet someone, they're like, I like breaking bad, I'm like, okay, of course. But also... I think those are,

I think those are still, like, pretty niche interests in terms of, despite the fact that they are, they are successful. Like, I know a lot of people who don't watch Game of Thrones because it's fantasy, right?

But, like, let's be fair, the large majority of the world has what. Like, it's one of the biggest shows of all. time. So I think we can. I would, I would rather, like, if someone was like, I think in my mind, if someone was, if someone, if I was going to paint the mainstream picture, it would be people who only watch Love is Blind or like Netflix dating shows. Like, that's it, right? I only watch Netflix dating shows. I've never watched a scripted drama in my life. I only, I think that's

far more of a niche group of people than, and he's like, really? That's such a rare caliber of person. I don't know. Maybe. I know you're being hyperbolic, but like to have never watched a show that wasn't a dating show, that's like 20 people. They're the worst people you've ever met. It's, I just, I think back and it's like, look, us specifically. Like, take us. Take us. Take us. In terms of our interests. Bring us somewhere. We're sick of it here. Please. I've gone a vacation. It's so long. It's so cold. It's like we're into, we're like TTRPG, tabletop gaming nerds. We have a podcast. I guess like karaoke is a big thing for me as well

like also I would me fuck you yes but I mean like that was when I was caryoking before you were even born you are aren't you like three years younger than me you shut up

that's the magic's karaoke but like just I also don't have mainstream interest I also don't have a head of hair I'd like to think my face is decent I think I've got that over me but I'm not sick like not not to do with anything and people are everyone will see it's looking particularly

good today i don't know you're glowing i don't know what it is i've been moisturizing really i have a day and a night cream going nice yeah i don't shave my beer my beer was getting a bit unruly yeah maybe you're just looking good i'm just saying thank you you you're welcome either of us are six three let's say that yeah no it uh i the the six three thing is so fucking funny i don't know we've talked about before i have never once in my life had a problem with my height in terms of like dating. I'm sure there are people who have said no to me on like dating apps because of my height, whatever.

But like I've never been like, oh, sorry guy that I just manna had been vibing with. Not going to talk to you because I'm looking slightly down at you. Yeah. I don't know. It's like I'm not the tallest person in the world by any means. And it's like no, no one for like anyone who gives a shit isn't worth it. And there's a wealth of people out there that don't give a shit or like if you go

up and talk to them, it won't even register. Like maybe if you're just sending them a stat sheet, they're not going to be like, oh, 5-5, delightful. But like, the amount of people I know who aren't six foot who are fucking killing it, it doesn't matter. What matters is the opposite of this question, which is your personality, your vibes, who you are, how you are. And like, the fact that it's a surprise to the person in this question is all I need to know about you. Because you do not get it. You don't get life. Look, if you are, because you're like, oh, I think I might be autistic.

if you are, okay, there are ways to deal with that. There are ways to approach that. And I know plenty of people who are on the spectrum who are in relationships and quite happy. I also know people who are homebodies and who are into weird shit who also are in relationship. So all these things are excuses and all of these things are made up problems because you're struggling. And that's fine. Honestly, like the being into weird stuff is a boon. Like it is a good thing because you're interesting, right?

once you're not weird about it, right? Like if you're like, you wouldn't get it or you're like elitist or you're shitty. Like genuinely, if you're nice, you're fine. Right. And I mean that's so sincerely. It opens up your dating pool, right? Like I know you're like, oh, my dating, my circle is too small to date and meet new people. It's like, but you're then you say you have all these niche interests.

Surely you'd be able to expand into those niche circles and find people who are into your niche thing, which I'm sure they're also struggling to find a, a, a. a match for someone who is also into bird watching or fucking whatever the hell else you're into. Yeah. And again, it's like if you're chill about like, I just don't get how people don't know that like meeting somebody and having that person be fun and exciting and interested in you and like, that's all it is. You don't have to say the smartest fucking thing they've ever heard. You don't even really have to be dropping huge like incredible stand up level jokes. You just need to be nice and you need to be interested and you need to be genuine about those things. And like if someone asks you what you're

into, you don't get weird and elitist. You don't get like shy and like, well, it doesn't matter. You just say, oh, yeah, I'm really into like fucking TTRPGs and someone, like the amount of people are like, oh, D and then you talk to them about what it is. And it turns out that they don't get it or they had a preconceived notion or they still think it's lame, but you laugh it off because you know it's cool and then it's fine. Like if you meet someone who's genuinely shitty, that's good because now you've crossed them off your list of potential candidates. And genuinely, they probably won't be. You just have to be chill.

One of my favorite examples of someone not understanding something. And watching someone get into a niche thing is the interview with Deborah Ann Wall and John Baranthal in which she explains D&D to him in like four minutes of just brief. And you watch. And it's like that is, in my opinion, the best dating advice. If you want to see, if you don't watch pickup artists, don't watch dating coaches, don't watch anything. Watch how the two of them interact when he's like, I don't get it.

And she's like, okay, well, do you want to do a quick thing? And he's like, yes. And watch how he engages with her. And I'm not saying that he's trying to like woo her or whatever. But what he does is he buys into what's happening. He becomes invested and he cares about what she's saying and buys into it. Right. And he gets a shot, right?

Like he's willing. Like she's like, hey, try a thing. He's like, yeah, for sure. genuine, like positive, kind, like fun, right? Being like, yeah, I'll give it a shot. That's fun. It's kind. It's respectful.

It's courteous. If he'd just been like, I don't get it. She was like, you wouldn't. Conversation dead. Or if she was like, yeah. Some people don't. Like, that's how you could be. Instead, she's like, okay, well.

And like, it's not a combative thing. It's just like a fun thing of two people who are interested and respect each other. And that's it. Like you can see, watch how it happens on both sides. And that's how a conversation should be in terms of when you, you show something or share something with someone that they're not familiar with, watch how excited she gets at being able to like, okay, I can show you. Like, do you want me to bring you into this world for a minute?

This is what I'm into. And then she enthusiastically explains and demonstrates what she's into. And he reciprocates by enthusiastically and genuinely engaging in her. He doesn't like, because like you said, like if she's like, oh, you're in the woods. And he's like, oh, this is dumb. That sucks. Done. Yeah.

And that's the thing. so many guys especially, they have this like, I've got to be match or I got to be cool. Like I can't put my guard down. I can't play into this. I got you know, it's like this stoic like yeah, it's dumb, it's stupid. Like I don't care. Like fuck that shit. Like show an interest at something even if it's not manly. Like fuck you. Also, what can be more manly than being in the woods? A number of very attractive ladies at my work who have this year decided that they were like, we're going to try dating again. They have they kind of put it on the bag burner for a while because is bad. And they were like, you know what, we're going to start going on dates again. And the thing

that they have complained most about to me, when I've been like, you know, the next time I see, I'm like, how did the date go? Like, tell me about it. I'm excited to hear about it. I'm, you know, I'm excited for you. Almost, I think they've gone on like three so far. And they were like, they didn't ask me a single question. I, you know, every time I mentioned something, there was just like, okay. And not a single like interest in any of the things that I, I, I, I, say and like they do they're they're pretty strange people um in terms of like interest and hobbies and stuff there's there's a rich mine to to tap into there i don't understand how anyone could go on the date and just be like yeah and then they probably go home and go that way great why aren't

they calling me it's like come on it's so easy just give a shit about the people you're out with so take two seconds pause this podcast go watch that video and internalize it be deborah and wall when she describes D&D when you're talking about your interests, be John Baranthel when someone starts talking about their interests. Even if you do not care, it does not matter. If someone starts talking to you about their favorite Taylor Swift album, ask questions, give a shit. For that conversation, you are the biggest Taylor Swift fan through a conduit of them, right?

You are the biggest. My question is, why would you not care? Because I think like you said, right, there's this idea that men should be aloof, men should be mysterious. And what that translates into is like men can't get excited. Men shouldn't be excited. Men shouldn't care. Like it's so boring and it's so lame.

But like I think I think you're right. I think it comes down to this idea of stoicism, right? This idea that like men are blanks of wood that like care about. They're a tower shield. That's all they are. Yes. And I think that people think that like the second you have that like golden retriever energy and are interested in and are excited by something, then like,

there's a problem with that. And I think it's mostly men who think that, right? I don't think. Yes. I don't think many women are. And it's like, yeah. Do you want to be with this incredibly toxic woman? And like what this person thinks at the very start of this question is like, oh, I can

look good enough that someone will like me only for that? And it's like, look, can you be hot enough that someone will just want you because you're that hot? Sure. Can you be wealthy enough that someone will want you just because you're that wealthy? Sure. It's going to be rare. It's going to be extremes. But it's also probably not something that you want, right? Because like, why would you want someone to only want you for one specific thing? Especially being, as this question points out, like, looks will fade. Money is not eternal. And it's like, do you really want this transactional weird thing? Or would you like someone to like you? Because what happens to the rest of you that isn't money or that isn't this looks? Are those feelings? Are those

feeling satisfied and happy? Are you good or are you just clinging on? Like, so it's like you don't want this reality and it's incredibly rare. So it's like just be chill. Let's a far easier fucking. Yeah. Those things also don't matter long term in a relationship. Right. Like eventually, it doesn't matter how hot someone is or how much money they have. Eventually, you're going to get annoyed by them if you don't like them. Right. For sure. And sure, you might stay with them because again, they're hot or you might stay with them because the money is great and you can go on vacation or whatever. But like, is it worth being annoyed and aggravated and not into the, like, it sucks. It's a bad idea.

And is it worth having someone around you who doesn't like you that's just staying on because of some like social chip or to take your money? Like, do you want that? Do you actually want that? No. When, in fact, you could just be excited about that Taylor Swift album they're talking about and then let them know something you're excited about. And that's just such a great fucking time. I don't know if I've ever told this story before. But I probably haven't.

I'm going to go through it quickly. But I remember in high school, I had done a, like, a teen summer camp thing in which we were the counselors and the kids came in. Like, we did for March break, summer break, and like some of the longer weekend holidays and stuff like that. And when I was there, I met a woman or a girl who was really cool. She went to a different school from me. So it was like, it was kind of fresh and exciting that like, you know, I was spending a week with this really cute girl that I really liked. And we didn't go to the same school. So it was kind of like, woo.

And then when the program ended, we didn't get put in the same camp slot. So, like, it was kind of unlikely that I was going to see her again. So we changed phone numbers and emails and MSNs and stuff. And then one day she was like, oh, hey, like, do you want to go see a movie? And I was like, fuck, yeah, like, she's asking me on a date. This is great. And I was like, just the two of us. And she's like, yeah.

I was like, great, cool. And then she wanted to go see Princess Diaries. And I was like, that sucks. That's a girl movie. I don't want to see that. And so, like, I was like, do you want to see something else? She was like, I'm really excited for this movie. be like, I really want to see it.

And I think go. Or I seemed less enthused. And she was like, okay, well, maybe I'll just go with my friends then. And I look back at that. I'm like, I'm a dumb idiot. And I think that translates to what a lot of dudes do where it's like, oh, it might be weird or lame or stupid if I dance along to this Taylor Swift song with my girlfriend that she loves. Or it might be weird if I go to the Robin concert with my girlfriend or whatever, right? Yeah. And I think back on it now. It's not. It's like, so instead of going on a date with a cute girl in high school, I didn't. And that's what you're doing, dudes. Every time you like refuse to engage or get excited or ask questions or lock into your date, you're doing what stupid high school me did and block yourself from going on a date or having a good date or, you know, being a great partner. You know what I mean? Like there are so many sad times.

where like I'll go and do something with my partner and like will you know it won't be a typically masculine thing or whatever and we'll meet someone there and they're like oh my god like I wish my partner would come to a thing with me but like he just flat out refuses and it's like why or even like guys I know in relationships who like won't get in a picture and it's like no I don't want to do the picture and it's like they just want to take a picture on Christmas Eve or whatever in front of the tree and it's like the boyfriend is like pictures aren't manly like I'm just and it's like what do you fucking do and they want to picture take a fucking do it. fucking picture in front of the fucking tree.

And this is, I've seen this multiple times with different couples. And it's just like, take a breath. Nobody gives a fuck. And you shouldn't. So go see Princess Diaries is what I'm saying. Go see it. Someone wants to see Princess Diaries. Go see Princess Diaries. Go watch that shitty rom-com. And guess what? Half of them are good.

And half of them are so bad, they're good anyway. Yeah. Yeah. Do it. Yeah. You got this. I don't feel like we we freaked out on that question. Mm-hmm. We went long in all three. Unless your question's ultra quick. Let's fuck it.

No, I don't think so. Yeah. I don't think we can do it justice in like five minutes. Thank you very much for hanging out with us. Again, I apologize. If you were looking forward to coming to the show, we were heartbroken to cancel it. We tried to do everything we could to keep it going, but it was just one of those things where unfortunately, we couldn't do. We are working on getting another show going. So we will let you know

about that with a little bit more notice this time. This one was really slapped together. together. We didn't have a whole lot of time to promote it or prepare for it. So, you know, maybe a blessing of disguise that we had to. Yeah, I think it was it was cursed from the get go, but we're going to, you know, we're going to make some like offerings to the podcast live show gods. And then we're going to do another one. And hopefully this one won't be cursed.

And hopefully my foot will still be attached to my leg. We love you guys. Thanks for coming along. Please join us on the Patreon. Please come support the podcast. Help us keep doing our thing. Please like us and subscribe to us in all the various places. you can. If you haven't rated us five stars on Spotify or on whatever podcast app you use,

please go and do that. It's a very easy, quick, fun, free way to support us. And it really does do a lot to help our visibility. If you're on YouTube, go follow our YouTube and maybe like a few videos on any social media. If you find us, share some of our posts. If you tell a friend, these are all really easy ways to just like help us out and we would really appreciate it. And of course, obviously, shout out to all our Patreon subscribers because like, you know, you help us pay for our hosting and equipment and keep this going without running us into the ground. So we really appreciate that. And it's really just because of you guys that we get to do what we do. So thank you. I'm going to read some bad sex writing. And then we're going to let you go into the

wild wastes of your week. This is a rose in June by Margaret Oliphant from 1874. In everything, as only a woman child full of the beautiful enthusiasm of youthful admiration can do, nothing except perhaps the devotion of a young wife when she really loves the man much older than herself whom she is married can equal the devotion of a girl to her father i had a hard time following that yeah but it was still bad i know it was bad but i don't know if i could tell you where it got bad it just all sounded the second you start anything with woman child i'm i'm out i'm clocked out and feeling gross. Yeah.

Yeah. Anyway, we got like 18 screaming chills waiting to get back on Roblox. We got to get off our computers. We got trank them for the next week. My name is Dave Miller. And I'm Nal Spain. We've been your fuck buddies.