F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Baby Butthole Boy

Episode Date: November 10, 2025

Mess with the bull and you'll get the horns especially if you're a big city woman who's too focused on her career to find love.  Topics include post sex shit-tests, long tongue but bad technique, a shaved butthole, irritated over old nudes.

I put my trust in you And then I trust in love Hello Hello friends my name is Dame Miller And I'm Nal Spang And we're your fuck buddies We are a sex of dating advice podcast Where we take your sticky sexy situations

And turn them into sexy sticky sticky situations. Except we're not doing that this month. Okay. We're supporting our troops in the field in the no-nut trenches, and we are not going to make anything sexy or sticky just in case you accidentally bust. Yeah. Yeah.

I actually, I don't want to joke about no-nut November. I'm bored of no-nut November. The fact that it's, I think we do this every year, which I yell about no-nut November. Yeah. Go on. Hit us what your, what's your latest no-nut rant? I think, look, if you have. a problem with pornography, then I think there is a great, I think cutting it out of your life

is a great choice. If you think that not ejaculating is going to make you a better person, whether you're having sex or masturbating, then you're fucked. That's when you're cooked, I believe. I think the idea behind it of people, like, because like, no one who's having sex should be participating in No, not November, right? Like, it only stands to, like, punish your partner for an arbitrary reason. Well, if they're cool with it.

Look, if your partner is cool with it, great, I guess. But, like, what's the, what's the end goal? What are you trying to achieve with it? I'm just really happy for all the people who, like, you know, they're not, like, a lot of people aren't getting relief because they're taking part. But a lot of people are getting way more relief because now they don't have to worry about their allergies when they leave the house. You know what I mean?

Like, not allergies, man. Oh, I got you. Yeah. So it's like a good month for them. So I don't know why you always don't really take them into consideration. Yeah. That's it. We will tell everyone with peanut allergies that you are safe for this month.

Go on the plane. Don't worry when you hear someone crinkling a packet. No. Simply put, we are a sex of dating advice podcast. We take questions either online or from our incredible listeners. We have some right here, right now in your ears on this podcast.

Hey, let me tell you something. Yeah, do. So I recently got the COVID flu duo booster shot to, you know, get me all ready for the winter and flu season. and, you know, do my part as a sovereign citizen.

Yeah, I guess, like, Dane was worried that the tracker chips, the Fauci putting them, were running out. I got Moderna, not Pfizer, I'm safe. I ain't getting into that fucking Fauci poison. I don't know if Fauci has any relation to Pfizer. I don't believe either of them, but. Anyway, I'm usually pretty good, but I got really fucked up yesterday. It was probably the worst reaction I had to a flu shot ever. but in my delirious state, I was convinced so much so that I wrote a note down in my phone to remember it, that for some reason I thought it was crucial to the show that we come up with names for our partners that aren't their names.

Okay. Right. So I was like, if our partners, and this isn't, I want to make it very clear. I'm not talking about, you know, maintaining their anonymity or protecting their identities. That's not what this is about. This was me specifically being like, if our partners weren't named, what they're named, what would their name be? Hmm.

I assume you have one, given that it was your delirium and you've had a whole extra day, at least of planning. It was tough for me. Mm-hmm. The one, and look, now that I'm in my right... You're going to be in trouble the second you say this name. Oh, 100%. Yeah.

Yeah. Now that I'm in my right mind, I don't think it's the correct answer. But I was convinced yesterday that it was Alice. It's not right. and the face that you're making is proving that it's not the correct name and i know that see it i could see it it's got to me really wants to just go off the deep end and start naming the worst names but like i don't not to particularly offend her i just find it really funny when you give people bad names and they're like what the fuck but i won't out of respect for her like no see now i'm gonna alienate all our

listeners um now i saw my trap a mile away i almost got them but i did i put it didn't put enough leaf cover down on the hey i already upset a lot of people by talking about small talk dane so we'll get into that after this as well uh like someone once came up to me i wish i could remember the name that they gave me but i was working a bar event and i was serving these people and someone was like what's your name like we're guessing that your name was like lance or like some like typically dushy like frat boy name from like a movie and i was like god like you would have to give me the worst fucking name and she was like, that's my husband's name. And I was like, that's so

funny. Because they were like, this is an event where it was open bar, but they didn't want any of the like low value drinks. They want a gray goose or nothing. So they were like all paying separately out of the party for their drinks and they were in their gowns and shit, but like also were massively

flirting with me, which was part of this name thing, I think, but then I did offend her by mocking her husband's shitty name. So it's just funny. Fuck, I don't even know. I don't even know, man. What is a name? A rose, hey, a rose by any other name would be as sweet. So don't even matter.

Yes. I didn't come up with one for your partner. I was. That's good, probably. I was thinking, well, you know, I figured we would. I don't know. Look, I'm telling you, man, this is, this was the most important thing to me in and out of my unconscious state for some reason. Yeah, I don't know.

I just figured maybe you had one in your back pocket that you always like, you looked at your partner would just be like, you're, you're acting like a real Stephanie right now. Nah, their name just fits, man. It's true. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like my, my partner would, would do well with, like, an old-timey name, like a grandma name. That's, I was going to kind of hit them with it. I was going to either hit them with a grandma name or a Stacy.

But I know, I feel like Stacy has stank on it. Stacey has, like, Valley Girl Stank, which is funny. Yeah, which is kind of what led me on, you know. Has, has Valley Girls thing. Uh, so it's, yeah, for me, like, like a, like, I think my, my partner could rock like an ethel. You know what I mean? Like, I think, I think she would be like that ironic hot Ethel. But anyway, that was, that was just my, my delirium. Let's, before we get into the questions, let's just talk about what's happening. We got, we got an apology. I don't think that

we do. We're so sorry that we ever said anyone should ever use small talk. As we all know, deep topics only, never ever ask someone how they're doing, how they're doing, mentioned the weather, you know, say anything inconsequential, like talk about a little dog that you saw during the day. Never do that. The populace has spoken. It is akin to murder. Only talk about the cosmos.

Yeah, the cosmos, uh, the, the ether. The ether for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wanted, so essentially what has happened is I posted a clip of last week or whatever week it was. We had the question of the guy being like, Fuck my wife who doesn't understand anything Who's dumb and like small talk

I love only talking about deep stuff And we talked about how small talk is essential In just being a human and you know A crucial part of being a functioning Human being in a society in which you interact With other human beings, yes Yeah, yeah And also a kind thing to do to others

Who knew of all the reels to ever post? This fucking lit people on fire We have people out here saying we look like We're out of fucking guess who I will say, I will say that fucking burn fucking killed me. It was so good.

I really want to find us as guess who people now, but I don't have the game. I'm Richard, for sure. No doubt. Who's the fuck's Richard? Richard. There's no one else I could be but Richard.

I don't have guess who in front of me, you asshole. But I wanted to say to our listeners, if you have guess who and you can find one that looks like us, send it in. If you're the original burn giver, tell us which one you think we look like.

also isn't the whole point of guess who that they all look distinctly different i could see it like i mean if you you're in like 30 years yeah bald and beard like yeah that's who am i uh i'm you're you're a little tougher um i think i mean like suck it burn giver look me with my unique face yeah no they're all just like yeah we're generic looking white guys we get it yeah i mean we get it look we get it we can't do anything about that once a man who was i think having a mental health crisis came over to my work threatened to kill to come back and kill a bunch of us or he was going to tell his friends who we are and they were going to kill us and we were like we all look the exact same you wouldn't and we looked the same as the eight people down the road like good luck try to describe us so yeah

we get it i know anyway wild thing to get upset about i would love to just be able to get these people and go how do you converse yeah what is your day to day people are i mean i think i mentioned this before it's like you can you can have a conversation like the way i view conversations are kind of like a song, right? Like verse, they're gonna love going off about this one. Yeah. Where it's like your your verse is sort of the small talk.

That's the, that's sort of like the, you talk about your day until something important is brought up. And that's when you hit the chorus, which is sort of like the meat. That's, that's what everyone wants. Yeah. And that's, that's like, so you mentioned, oh, I've had a bad day. You know, I say, hey, how was your day? You say, I have a bad day.

Oh, I'm really sorry. That sucks. What happened? Then you tell me what happened. Dan, it's not small talk, presumably. Or it might be. Maybe it was like, oh, I can get a fucking parking spot and like, you know, then the toilets and work were like blocked.

So I had to walk down the street every time I need to pass. Like that, it could be that basic. And that's still small talk. That's small talk. Because that's nothing. Sorry people on TikTok. Like, unless you, like, do you converse with people? Because it seems like you don't.

Well, here's the other thing. Someone else was also like, oh, I don't think we need any more lessons on small talk. I am a fucking bartender. Do you know how many fucking bad conversations I see on a daily basis? Do you know how many men fucking fumble the easiest catch of their fucking life because they can't hold a basic conversation? Everyone who's out here being like small talk's useless. It's not useless because if the first thing as now said before, if the first thing you say to someone is like, my biggest fear is dying alone. No one wants that energy when you first meet them.

You talk about stupid bullshit that's happening around you. That's small talk. Also, like, if this person is one of those people who is good at small talk, it's weird to just come on to a place where we're here giving advice for people who are asking questions. The question involved us talking about that. It's like if we were talking about someone, you know, who'd been cheated on and you came on being like, my girlfriend didn't cheat on me. I'm like, cool.

This isn't about you. Yeah. Oh, this is one for someone who just got broken up with. I didn't get broken up with. Idiots. Like, good for you, bud. you kind of seem to miss the point of this, but I'm glad that I'm glad that you're so happy with your

small talk. And look, if that's your level of conversational awareness, I don't think you are small talk. That's my point. My point is if you're this upset about people trying to normalize small talk in the point where someone, again, someone else was like, are you trying to promote men talking to women? That is absolutely not what we're doing here. What we're saying is that you need to be socially

aware enough to know that small talk isn't a gateway into flirting with people in public or picking up. It's just a normal thing to do. And people would be a lot less fucking gross if small talk was was was normalized. If if people could just like have a conversation without any sort of like hook or obligation or whatever like if could try this bullshit. Because like again, you don't have something deep to tell a stranger unless you. you've kind of contrived it, and it's bullshit. Like, there's no, there's no actual natural reason for you to just walk up to someone and drop something heavy on them.

The problem with small talk, if there is one, is that most of the time, men have weaponized it as a means to, like, be gross, right? Like, as a means to sort of, like, transition into trying to get your number or, or saying something inappropriate or, you know, being. Getting you to stop with something innocuous and then you're kind of, like, trapped. you know what I mean yes and that's I think a really good point as well it's like if you listen to us talking about small talk and we're like they're trying to weaponize this no it was it was just for like in general in relationships in talking to strangers and let's be fair if you are trying to pick

somebody up if you are talking to someone you can't do it naturally or well without small talk too it's just an innate part of everything so if wild bridge to wild hill to if anything we were we were like advocating for people to to stop using small talk or stop using sort of like approaching people and talking to them as a means to pick them up like that's small talk should be completely inconsequential conversations in which you feel as now said safe with someone the problem is is that a lot of people has now said you you sort of like you open the door and someone has a conversation as we talked about a lot of the time where you know my best pickup line is how's your night going while i'm waiting at

the bar and there's someone I find attractive or even just like someone next to me while we're both waiting to get our drink I'll strike up a conversation by no means am I having a deep conversation here and the second they get their drink or I get my drink I'm gonna fucking leave most likely unless it seems like we're really hitting it off I'll also say that to man beside me who I'm not trying to sleep with you know what I mean and also even if I was to turn to a man who I'm not attracted to and don't want to sleep with and hit them with like a hey man It's just been really hard juggling, like, two podcasts that, like, I work really hard on it. They take up a lot of my time, but, like, we're not getting any money.

So I'm like, do I waste my life right now? Or am I going to actually get there? Like, will all this effort be worth it? Or should I have just abandoned this years ago and actually had freak? You know, they'd be like, cool, bud. What the fuck? No one listening to this enjoyed that. And you guys presumably like us.

Anyway, just hilarious. And hey, I'm going to clip all this. I'm a fucking tag all you fuckers. And we're going to teach you. I do think half of it is, is a misunderstanding, and the other half is, like, reactionary, like, defensive hackles are up. I think if you actually got down to it and we're like, hey, why do you think this is wrong? It would either be like, they misunderstand small talk into being so inane and inconsequential boring that it's pointless, which it can be, but isn't small talk as a whole, or two, they, I don't know, saw two guys doing a podcast and got upset, which I get. Yeah.

I get it. Sometimes I have to clip these, and I'm like, ugh. These fuckers. Are you ready for a question? These guys. Yeah. This week we're going to talk about post-sex shit tests. Long tongue, but not using it right.

I want my girlfriend to shave her a-hole. New boyfriend is irritated because of old nudes. All right. This is by throw your dignity away. Post-sex shit tests. Is it common for women to pull back and test you after you have had sex for the first time? Recently, I've been noticing a pattern of after I finally had sex with a girl. A lot of the women I've been going for lately are the more introverted conservative

types, who won't come back home after the first date no matter how interested they are. They start off super eager and attached in the coming days afterwards, but then once that wears off, they actually do the opposite. They start to pull back and become less communicative. It feels like they're testing me to see if I lean in further when they pull back, and if I do, they lose interest and it fizzles out, but if I don't, they start to become even less communicative than before, seemingly trying to match my energy of leaving distance. Either way, it fizzles out.

Has anyone ever encountered this? If so, what's the best way to handle it to keep them engaged until the next time you make plans in person. Is he saying that after he has sex? It seems like they don't want it. So it's like they're conservative. They don't want to have sex on the first day. But when they finally do have sex, they pull off. Yeah. Yeah. Have you considered perhaps you're not very good and bad? Seems likely to me. I also, I do love like one, you know it's seduction when they're talking about shit tests. But like, this doesn't seem to be a shit test because it's it's like, oh, they pull away. And if I pull away, it fizzles. But if I talk to them, it fizzles.

That just sounds like they're not into it. Yes. And also, I believe if we're going to get into the definition of shit tests, shit tests are like an actual, like, active, like challenge to your, to your stance of whatever it may be. Uh, but hey, who am I to argue with seduction? Yeah. If, let me just say, if your pattern is you sleep with someone and then they no longer

want to talk to you again, there may be something you need to investigate in the act of having sex. Whether it's, you know, are you doing appropriate for play? Are you putting in any effort to make sure that they are also being satisfied? I don't want to say how long are you lasting, but that does play a factor in sort of like the grand scheme of things. It matters if you don't satisfy them. You know what I mean? Like if you are satisfying them, it might still be an issue for some, but like I think it's a different situation at that point. I also think like it's very clear you're being with these people to have sex with them. And they are at least reluctant once. So it's like, are you forcing the issue? Are you being creepy? Like, are they realizing that

this is kind of your, your goal? Because it seems very evidently to be. How are you reacting after you have sex? Are you doing the thing where it's just like afterwards, you're like, okay, bye, right? Are they, are you kicking them out? Are you implying that you don't want them there any longer? Like, what is, there's a whole lot of, of nothing that we know, right? And now, there's a lot of behavior on your part that we're not getting. We don't know what you're doing after you have sex. Like I said, like, are you sort of like scooting them out almost immediately? Because that makes people feel cheap. Are you changing how you communicate as well, like the next day? Yes. And one of the other things is what do you, when you're having sex,

are you skipping right to like into kink play? Are you, are you choking them without permission? Yeah. Are you spanking them very hard without permission? Pulling their hair. Like, are you just, you know, playing the role, playing the role, playing the role, you say you're going after these like innocent, you know, conservative people. Are you playing this like nice guy role? And then once you're in, you're just using them as like fuck toys, which some people may enjoy with the right conversations and consent. But are you, you know, sort of like playing this, this part in order to bide your time until they'll sleep with you and then just fucking them like they're a, you know, inconsequential hole to fuck. Also, people pick up on.

that as well. What's your hygiene like? Yeah. You know, like there's kind of infinite things here. I think what's key is like kind of a lack of responsibility here. It's like, oh, it's women's shit tests. Not that I maybe did something wrong. Now that there's a pattern and I think the common denominator here is me and sex, right? On top of that, you seem immature in like how you communicate because you're trying to play these communication games, or at least that's what you think they're doing. So that kind of is indicative of how you think about things. Yes. And that's really like any time that you find, especially in dating, that there is a consistent pattern, then what you need to do is look at what you are doing repeatedly. Right. Because it's insane to think that every person is acting

independently the same. Yes. It is far more likely that you are doing something than six people all magically did the exact same thing. Think of the equation. And you are the constant, right? So if you're getting the same answer every time, it's probably you. And look, maybe it's not. But at that point in time, maybe you need to roll back and look about or look at where you're meeting these people, right? If you're specifically meeting up with these conservative, you know, self, you know,

what was it? Like introvert women, perhaps that's not the type for you. Perhaps that style of person and belief system isn't an appropriate partner for you. Yeah. Right. It would be like me going after someone who's a right-wing, religious, you know, closed-minded person. That would not translate into a long-lasting sexual relationship or, you know, emotional or social relationship. So I think you also need to, like, there's a lot of like, despite the fact that you are the constant, there's a lot of variables that also might need to be changed as well. Yeah, 100%. I think, like, it's you. No matter what it is, it's you.

And you need to look at that. And as, as Dane said, it could be where you're finding these people, how you're meeting them, who they are. Like, if you're always pulling from the same pool, maybe that's the disconnect. Could be your hygiene, could be your performance, could be how you act after the fact. It worries me how you talk about dating. And let's be fair, you're in seduction. So I think maybe you just need to step back and, like, reevaluate how you are doing things and make sure that you're being a good. decent person that someone would want to see again, be that sexually or emotionally or whatever

and then work from there or even just ask one of them, be like, hey, it feels like you've withdrawn a lot since the last time is something up. Like, did I do something wrong? Someone might tell you. Yeah. And also, I'm really hung up on the, they're the conservative, like, interest. It's weird. But like, it feels almost fetishized in the way that like, like are you then sort of like putting that fetish on them and being like you're the conservative like good girl you're the innocent girl and like yeah is your whole thing like I'm going to corrupt you I'm going to like because people can be conservative and freaks right or people can be introverts and freaks usually I've found that is the case in terms of like introverts typically most of the like shy introvert women that I've ended up sleeping with tend to be more adventurous sexually than I would like have assumed based on their sort of outward persona. So, like, it might also just be like, them being like, oh, you're incredibly vanilla because you think that just because I'm, you know, an introvert person that I couldn't

possibly be sexual as well. Which is not an invitation to up your kinkiness or like down. You know what I mean? Like, I again, don't ever do that shit without communication and consent. But yes, I think just, bud, you got to look inward. You got to reevaluate what you've been doing and you got to try to be honest and genuine about that. and then shake up what you're doing in a good, healthy, consensual nice way.

This comes from Daisy Love, eating me out. My husband loves to eat me out, but it never really feels good. And he thinks he is really good at it. Sometimes he can be. He does have a long tongue and could literally tongue fuck me, but something is off. Like he never rubs it, if that makes sense. Sometimes I'll play with the top of my pussy and be able to come. But if I don't play with it, I literally just lay there waiting for it to be over.

I don't want to be mean, tell him since he enjoys it so much. and I've tried showing him what I like and showing him to play with the top or rub the middle but he really just thinks he's so good and that I love it and then I'm coming when it's really all just his spit. Look, I'm going to get my criticisms of you out of the way first.

Are you faking it? Are you giving him the wrong impression? Have you, you know what I mean? Because I think we all got to make sure the appropriate reactions are happening in these situations because it's hard to walk it back and be like, hey, I know you think you're great. I've been faking it.

Because that's hurtful in a bunch of of different ways. So let's just get that out of the way. We got to make sure we're being honest about our reactions. Two, get them listen to the podcast. We'll tell them the clits where it's at, buddy. You know what I mean? By all means, foreplay, by all means, tongue fuck. By all means, take a little trip around vagina town when you're going down on someone. But, like, the clits where it's at.

Yeah. That's not to say that, like, as now said, like, there can be pleasure from teasing sort of the labia and like, you know, the vaginal opening and stuff like that. But the clitoris is the pleasure central of. that whole area. And if you're not, if he's actively avoiding it. Yeah.

And the only way, because I assume that's what you mean when you say rubbing the top of your pussy. I assume you mean you're clitoris. I assume so. It's weird that we're the ones who are like, here's the name and yeah. Yeah. But like I wonder if that's it.

Maybe that's it, right? If you're like rub the top and he's like, okay. He's like, this is the top of the outside? Is the like, that's kind of what I'm wondering, right?

Because you also say, something with the middle as well yeah the middle got me real confused yeah it's like play at the top or rub the middle like if someone told me that and I feel like I've I've done enough time in the vagina minds

to sort of know my way around the tunnels if someone told me to play with the top or rub at the top and rub the middle I'm not sure what you're asking me to do yeah I was very much on the like okay top means like we're looking at the diagram it's whatever and I was like, yeah, it's kind of weird

that that's how they're referring to. But then they said middle and I'm like, what? What's going on here? Yeah, what is, what's in the middle that needs to be rubbed? Like, is the middle now the clit? And you just sort of, like, I don't. Is the top the hood, the middle's the clit? Or is it like the clit's the top?

The middle's just the no man's land before the entry. The petional opening. Yeah. I don't know, man. And if I'm this confused, is he this confused? That's, I'm kind of worried that you have. given him a blueprint in a language he doesn't understand. And that's not to say that like if he's a grown ass man,

you should know where the clitoris is, right? Yeah, yeah. That's honestly, in my opinion, if you're having sex, you should know what the clitoris is. If you're having sex and you don't know what or where the clitoris is, stop. Yeah.

You're not ready. You're not ready to be doing this. It's, it's hard to miss. It's not hidden. It's not a mystery. It's like, I love the whole like,

oh, no, go find the clit like from the 90s. Really? The South Park movie. It's been there. The whole time. I don't know if you've seen the South Park movie, but like, I don't know. I think it's the South Park movie where the whole thing is like finding the mystical

like clitoris. And so to me, and the same thing with like American Pie. American Pie also had like that whole like, oh, the book to like how to go down on someone correctly. They made it seem like the most complicated, you know, magical, mystical, tough thing to find. And it's just like right there. Yeah, it's looking at you. It's not, it's not hidden by any.

Even if you, if every time you had to go near a woman, they were like a blindfold, like ears, you're going into the sensory deprivation chamber, you just got feel your way around, you'd still be like, oh, what's this? It's so easy to buy. It's right here. It's not difficult. It's right there. So I think you guys just maybe use your terminology correctly. Now, hold on.

I feel like we've just done a bunch of projecting and no actual teaching. The clitoris is a bundle of nerves that sits towards the top of. of the vulva. No, the middle. No, sorry. There is what's called a clitoral hood, which is something that sort of protects it because, as I said, it is a bundle of nerves. That is the clitoris is the only body part that's made specifically for pleasure. It has no other purpose.

It has no other function, but to feel real good when you touch it. And the hood is your friend because sometimes, like, when you, you know, below, like the actual clitoris itself is. way too sensitive so you can use the hood until it like warms up or if someone's just too sensitive you can just use the hood in general or what I like to do if they've already come and now they're really sensitive you can move back to hood give them a second one so so don't don't worry like don't be afraid of the hood the hood is your friend but also don't be afraid of below the hood because that's definitely a friend there's just a time and a place for both yes so essentially when women get aroused the clitoris engorges with blood the same way that a penis

does, making it very sensitive. As Nell said, sometimes it can be too sensitive without the correct level of sort of like warming the oven, heating it up, preparing it. Or lubrication or maybe it can become too sensitive. Yeah. There are ways to lift the clitoral hood if you find that you are not getting enough sensation, things such as using sort of the skin at the top of the pubis or sort of the bottom of the pubis where right before the vulva begins.

The middle of the pubes. Scott, don't. You sort of just give that a push up. That tends to reveal the hood a little bit more or pull the hood back a little bit more. But typically, the body knows what it wants. And as a woman gets aroused, the hood sort of peels back. It'll move to draw a little bit. Which, again, I still think sometimes if they're loving it, get a little bit more, unveil a little bit more for yourself.

And you just got to make sure you're out of the splash. zone because if your hands are all super moist or you're on a very moist part, it's harder to pull back. So that's why the pubis is a very good tip. Yeah. And it's also it's like there's something nice about having a hand on you as well, right? That hand can then go up and play with boo. It can caress. It can run around to the butt. There's a lot of stuff that like the clitoris is not difficult to find. And if you are confused where it is, just get on Google and search an image of the vulva. It'll point out essentially what you're looking at is imagine. a diamond shape, at the top

of the diamond, there is a little pearl. And that's it guys. That's fucking it. At the bottom of the diamond is the vaginal opening. If you can find that, you just go north. There you go. It's very easy. It's very, very easy. And I think

like, I think the only reason it was ever hard to find was out of a lack of education and a lack of like respect for women. Because I don't think the female orgasm did not matter. And women's feelings did not matter for a long time. And unfortunately, they still don't to a lot of people, whether like, you know, intentionally or not, just because of like the way people have

been socialized and like the fear of sexual education, which is why we do what we do, right? So if you're one of those people who didn't know where it was or didn't give it the, you know, attention it deserves, that's okay once you've now listened to this and we'll fix that going forward, right? There's no point being ashamed or dwelling on it, really. If you have a partner you want to apologize to, by all means. But the more important thing is moving forward. forward, rectifying that, and then doing shit right. And if you are one of those guys who doesn't think it's worth knowing or know and disregard or don't care to sort of like implement this knowledge going forward, are you a lot like

our previous question asker and can't find a recurring sexual partner? Because that's probably why. That's going to be it. We are in a third, I believe, sexual renaissance, sexual revolution for women in which they are now very much in control of their sexual pleasure. They don't require you. You are not a important aspect of the equation anymore. So being able to pleasure a woman is instrumental in maintaining a sexual relationship.

Women don't need you for fucking security. Women don't need you for pleasure. Women don't need you for companionship. No. And this is, this is like, we can branch off into sort of like the male loneliness epidemic. But for the men who aren't putting women's pleasure in a sexual relationship forward, if you don't care about that, then you're, you're, You're already at the bottom of the list. Like, why would anyone waste time on you?

Why would they? Like, it baffles the mind. You could be such a great person. And if you're not going to put into work or be able to have sex. And again, I'm not talking dick size. I'm not talking lasting. I'm talking getting someone off of your hands or your tongue or whatever and giving a shit about it.

If you can't do that, which is a lot of men, why would they suffer through being in bed with you, which they're probably going to have to do just for how nice and cool you are, which again, if you were nice and cool, you would give a shit. So it's like, you don't have what people need. You're not offering enough worth. Who the fuck would choose you? Yeah. Like, I mean, just, again, flip it around, put yourself in their shoes. Would you hook up with someone who wouldn't, who couldn't make you come or who was, who was bad at oral sex? Like, those people all of a sudden wouldn't be as high on your list of priorities if, if they, if they were bad at sex or bad at blowjobs. If they just kind of like messed around with your dick a bit and you never came and then

maybe you felt uncomfortable, maybe you felt sore, but you definitely felt disregarded. And then that was it. I don't think you'd be like, fuck yeah, bro. Yeah, no, like, imagine if, like, instead of an actual blowjob, they just sort of like licked the, like, the, like, middle of the shaft, never getting towards the head, never getting towards, you know, there's a lot of guys here who would be like, I'll take it. Yeah. But you're, you're saying, I'll take it because people aren't giving you what you need because

you're not giving them what they need. So, for question asker, you've got to be specific. You got to say, hey, I want you to lick my clit. And you don't necessarily have to say, you're bad at what you do. I didn't like, blah, blah, blah, blah. Just be like, hey, today, I just like, I really want you to go crazy on my clip. And if it's not phrased in the way that's demeaning him or whatever, like, for all he knows, this is just a thing you wanted today.

And it doesn't matter because a good partner will be like, hell yeah. And then you react accordingly. You know what I mean? And you say that was amazing. That's it, right? You mentioned it earlier about being like, oh, well, you know, if you faked it, you're kind of in a detrimental situation. because, like, you can't be like, ha ha, just kidding.

All those times felt nothing. Yeah. But here's the thing. You faked it to make him feel good, right? You faked it to feed his ego, to make him feel like he's doing a good job. There is no harm in now then lying and being a bit more vocal or being a bit more exaggerated to get him to do what you want or to move him in, transition him to the next level of pleasure, right? If, as now said, you say, even if even just something as simple as. you know, a little higher, a little higher.

Once he gets to the clap, being like, oh, shit, that feels really good. Do that. Keep doing that. That's what, like, dudes want to hear keep doing that, right? That's, which they will immediately change of what they're doing. Yes. That's the, like, spark in our brain that's like, we did it. Fuck yeah.

We found it. So, like, I have two, two ploys here, right? One is, I want your fingers inside me. If his fingers are in there, his tongue ain't going. So now you want to be like, point your tongue here. And that's, like, kind of hot. cool hopefully and like again if his fingers are inside you his tongue can't go anywhere else so hopefully that will be like a more natural way to do it but when he does it you'll look him dead

in the eye and say holy shit you up your game now you're not saying you were bad you're saying holy shit you just got better somehow got better boom ego boost this guy's fucking like damn i'm the cunnelingus king and just like tell him whatever you do with my clip was crazy like boost him you know tell him he's up his game tell him this is the best and like hopefully he'll get the picture, but that's the positive misreforcement there. We don't encourage you lying, but if you faked an orgasm, you've already lied. So use the little white lies. It's more of an exaggeration than a lie.

Yeah, sure. Or not, because again, if he's doing this, he has up to his game. Yeah. But I'm just saying it's like, a lot of people I think are like, oh, it's dishonest, it's distrust. It's like, well, so is faking it, right? So if you're now transitioning the sort of dishonest, to bring him up to a level in which he pleasures you

and now you're no longer faking it then you don't have to maintain a lie. You've had to do it once to facilitate better pleasure for both of you as opposed to I'm going to continue to lie to him and not be played, pleased. And you're you're cushioning their ego.

You know what I mean? I know ego's a word that has a skink on that but it's like no one wants a hit to their confidence. You know what I mean? Yeah, we all have them. We all have egos. So there's nothing wrong with like keeping his confidence.

high and getting what you want you know what I mean like again I don't think it's a bad thing so you could do this in a positive way I think you just need to be specific and like if he refuses to I think you just really have to have a conversation be like hey like I really want you like I really good and if he's just like oh I'm really good being like I'm not saying you're not it's just this the thing I want you know what I mean and that that's it's it but you got to be specific you can't just say the top on the middle what are you talking about what's middle again we know our way around a vulva and a vagina and a clitoris but like If someone said rub the middle, I wouldn't know what to do. I wouldn't know what that meant. I would be like, do you think the clit's in the middle? Because that's the only thing that I should be rubbing, I guess. Like, I don't know. It's very confusing words. And if you're too scared to say clitoris to your sexual partner, I think you got a whole bag of things that need to be unpacked anyway. So use proper terminology and be direct in terms, but don't just say top and middle. Like, I don't know what that means. So if I don't know what it means, he probably doesn't know what it

means. Yeah. I don't even know if you know what it means. I want my girlfriend to shave her asshole. I'm into assholes. My girlfriend has a nice but hairy asshole. I want her to shave it so I can admire it. She says she doesn't like the feeling when it's shaved. I don't want to be an asshole. I just want to see hers because it's one of my fetishes. Well, this is going to be an easy one because he's talked about it before. Your fetish doesn't mean it matters at all. Thank you. Your fetish does not outweigh someone's comfort and or desire. Yeah. That's it. Like I get it. You got a fetish. You like her butthole. But you know what? But if you really loved her butthole, you'd love it at hair and all.

Yeah, it doesn't sound like much of an asshole fetish. Does it? Yeah. You're going to let something like hair ruin. It sounds like you're kind of like, kind of like a baby butthole boy. You're just kind of like, just like a baby butthole, right? I don't like this. Yeah, I don't like it either.

I'm trying to insult it. It's fine. Hey, let's not yucky yum. Let's, let's just be real here. And it's like, look, you did the right thing. You asked her. She did the right thing. She met you and said, you know what?

I don't actually like how it feels when that happens. That's it. There it is. That's the conversation. And you say, oh, okay. That's the end of the conversation. It's the same with any kink. Yeah.

Your pleasure doesn't outweigh their comfort. I don't like it. That's it. And if it's a deal breaker for you, you find a new partner who will engage safely and responsibly in that kink. And even if you're doing that, but just because you like it. Even if you're doing that, you don't shame or belittle your partner for not doing it. You know what I mean?

Like, it's fine. They're allowed not do that. In fact, that's the most important thing they're allowed to do. so sucks but it doesn't matter you don't do anything further you don't try to coerce them there's no trick there's no whatever you ask them

they responded it is done yeah and again if it's if it's that big of a deal for you yeah then perhaps you go and find someone who does like to shave their butthole or doesn't have hair on their bottle yeah that's it that's it's not her responsibility to completely tailor her body and her appearance and her behavior

to your fetish that's not anyone's responsibility that's it that's it all right let's do this one real quick This is a constant ad My new boyfriend has become Now they've really fucked up the spelling Of irritated To a point where it's An unpleasant term for mental disabilities

Wait what It's Yeah it's Okay Okay This is our word Yeah With era before

Yeah Is that a mistake or does they just suck? I don't know My new boyfriend has become irritated because I sent him old nudes. It is rarely that I take some and even more so rare that I like what I do.

I think they are amazing. So the ones that I'm proud of, I kept. Now I gave him to my new boyfriend, but after he found out they were old, he became irritated and made a big speech about it. Yeah. Let me tell you, there's also a comma like every other word in this. It's a nightmare.

Am I stupid for thinking this is a big deal? Or no big deal? I'm interested to see what you think because the comments, I read the comments just like, I like to get a litmus test. Always terrible. And people were acting like she did a mortal sin. Yeah, that's the thing.

It's like I can kind of like, it's one of those things where like I can understand where people's coming from even if I don't agree with them. You know what I mean? Like I do understand that people think, oh, you sent me an old nude. And I assume the issue here being old meaning predating him. Yes. So it's like this is a remote.

He knows that they were sent to someone else. He knows that they were sent to someone. If it predates him, then there is. is that stink of like, oh, you sent somebody else. This is for somebody else. Like, you've reminded me that you have a sexual history on blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I understand what is provoking and I understand why they're upset. Do I agree with it?

Not at all. I don't give a shit. You know what I mean? Like for me, it's like, okay, you look hot. Yes. I also understand just that it sucks taking nude. So it's like, if I had a good one, I would probably just, you know, there you go. I'll have to worry about it.

Here's where I stand. Yeah, in a closet. If the nude is an act that is a little. by someone else for someone else, I think it's uncouth to send. For example, if you are like playing you with yourself and you took that picture while you were sexting with someone, I think that's not cool. Because that you were, you were in the act, a sex act with someone, right? Sure.

However, that I think is how do you know what, what is what? You don't. Well, this is coming from as person who's sending, right? But I mean, the receiver, like then hypothetically, you could take a good. one and send it to someone and then if they're offended they're in the wrong but they might feel like it was taken for somebody else because they can't know sure but what I'm saying is if if you have taking a pitcher that is a sex act with someone for someone don't send those on if someone is going to then assume that every nude that you send was sent to more than one person

that's their fucking problem yeah but I mean if they know this is old I don't know how but like let's say it's before you got a tattoo or something and they got that tattoo right before you or whatever the reasonable assumption was you took that nude to send to someone sure but what i'm saying is if if the nude is just you sexy in a bikini or in a nice outfit or just naked that's fine i have no problem with that i don't care who got that sent to so what i'm saying it's fine no matter what but if they're fingering themselves not okay yes sure in my opinion the same thing it's like if i'm if i have a video of me stroking my cock and i recorded that for someone specifically while we were sexing i think it's very uncouth to use the

that same video to send to someone else. But if you just had a dick pick that you sent to someone while you were sexting, you think that's different? No, if I had a dick pick that I took just to have. Okay, but what I'm saying is like there's no, like no one other than you is going to be able to know the difference of that. So it's kind of a weird thing to even think about. No, I don't think so.

I don't think you took versus dick pick you took while sexting with someone, but not jerking it. And you send it to me, I don't know which one's which. Sure. And again, I don't think it's, it's not on the. But if you're saying that one is bad, right? then how is the other person supposed to know whether they got a good one or a bad? You know what I mean?

I don't think it really matters because there's no way for you as the receiver to know which one it is. No, I don't think it's you, as you as the receiver, I don't think you should be thinking about it. I think that's insane, then. Because if you're thinking about it as a sender, surely you're also going to think about it as a receiver. If you think one of them is bad, then you know you could get a bad one or a good one. So you're obviously going to think about a sending or receiver. I don't think so. Again, if I'm, if I'm sexy.

someone. And they send me a photo of them like in a dress. I know that's not them now. I know that's one that they've had in the chain. Fuck the dress. Let's just say they're naked. Okay. But then they say you want they're naked and they fingering themselves. I would hope that if they're saying, I'm doing this for you, that that is in, that is a, that is a new one specifically for me. What I'm saying is I think it's bad form to, to use the same, like, if I have a really great like fingering video or photo and I say, I'm doing this for you and I'm not actually doing, I think that's uncouth. I'm not saying it's the end of the world. I'm not saying, I think it's just bad sexting form. I just think you're making a really weird distinction between being naked and

having a finger inside yourself or jerking off and having. Yes, because one is saying, one is saying, I look good here. The other one is saying, I'm doing this for you. You could look good jerking off. Sure, but I think like if I think it's context, right? If sure, but you, you did just say, if I send a video of me jerking off, the implication isn't, I'm, I'm doing this arbitrarily to have in the in the the video bank to send to whoever I want the the implication is I'm doing this right now for you sure but if I send you a picture my boners the same thing it's like yeah hard for you you know what I mean so I just feel like it's a lot harder for dudes to be I think you're just making a distinction weirdly you know what I mean because you were

saying jerk off video not okay if it was for anybody else but a nude is okay if it was for somebody else and like I don't think there's too much distinction between action and also a nude like to me, they're pretty much the same thing. So I also don't see that it's helpful to try to make this distinction because, again, it's like that almost gives the person getting the thing, the ammunition to be like, well, I don't know which one it is. Maybe you sent that one before. And an old one presumably was sent.

And the difference between a nude and a fingering video to me is very minimal. But do you not, I mean, like, I see what you're saying. But like, I think it's less, it's not about what I'm talking is etiquette, right? What I'm talking about is I don't think that you should use. videos and photos that you took for someone for a specific moment. Sure, yeah. To be a stand-in for your other thing. Regardless of how people feel, I don't think that is, it is correct.

I also agree. Don't get me wrong. I don't think it is the most like cooth thing to have like stuff that you'd send someone else to then send on later. Just because it's like a weird muddying of like, I guess doesn't really matter, but there is just an element of like you're now part of this. There's like an insincerity to it or something. Copy and pasting sex, in my opinion.

If you're just using generic sexts that have no personality to it or no personal vibe to it, if you are just using the same lines to 90 different people, I think that is that is also. I think it's the same. It's not a super bad crime. I think it's just kind of like, me, you probably shouldn't do it, right? But I think you're trying to make a distinction between, oh, I took that picture that I think I look really good in and me sending it again another time isn't bad. And I don't think there really is too much of a distinction. I think unless it's like a non-nude.

I think it's understandable. If you just have a good picked, I don't know. I feel like we're splitting hairs for no reason here. We can kind of understand why this person is upset because they think it was taken for somebody else, sent to somebody else, right? Again, I guess it depends for me on the nude. Again, if she is just in like a bathing suit. But that's not nude.

Or, you know, she's like in a dress and she's flashing or lifting up or something. Sure. I don't know if it's how. helpful to try to make a distinction between acceptable old nudes and unacceptable old nudes, because surely that's also going to change per person. Yeah. At the end of the day, I think if this is your concern, I think you have bigger issues, regardless of like what's happening.

I think if you receive a nude and you get worked up because that is an acknowledgement that they have a sexual history, I think that's on you and not the sender. But you just made a whole argument for a lot of times the sender would be in the wrong. I think it's bad etiquette, yes. But I think, I think, like, on the opposite side of things, like, you have to trust your partner. And if you think that your partner is using nudes and spraying them out everywhere, then, like, that's your problem. That's your own insecurity that you need to deal with. Yeah.

I think it is, like, something to look at and know that it is kind of not great ethically to then reuse something that you were having with somebody else. Because it isn't intimate moment between you guys and to just send it to somebody else. there is a little ick to that. But I also think on the flip side, it's slut-shamey to be like, how dare you have had a past? How dare you send me this thing that you took? And there's a real ownership or like a denial of the past.

So I think on both sides here, we can like come in and it's like, look, yes, it sucks taking nudes. You may have had a good one. But surely you can understand that you're like implicating another person in this or at least provoking the possibility of that. And on the other side, it's like, you know they have a fucking past.

You know they've sent a nude or had sex before. you need to calm down. I think we can meet in the middle and all not be shit here with regards to these two people. Yes. So I think it's, you know, it is, it is a interesting one because while I, it's hard to pick a side here. I think both sides need to be better. I do think the sender is definitely more in the right in this case, especially depending on the level of upsetness, but yeah. That's it, friends. Think about the stink you're provoking. Yeah, the stink. We did it. We did it. That's it. We're done. Thank you for. Josh Eagle and the Harvest Cities for the song, paper stars.

I mean, I was going to thank our wonderful listeners for listening to our small talk episode. This was, we didn't talk about anything today. We should have just done a whole episode in which we should be just small talk. We should have. But like the funny thing is that would only piss off our lovely listeners and not these assholes. Although, hey, if you're one of these TikTok people and you came by to see like, hey, what are these assholes all about? Welcome. I hope you had fun.

Hello. Hopefully things are better in context. Do you need to talk to someone you can always write in? Yeah, it's fine. If you're having trouble with small talk, if you think it's a bad. thing. We can walk it through with you. If you're too good at small talk like that one guy, maybe you need

help with Deep Talk. Maybe, yeah. Are you talking about the Cosmo's enough? Okay, we can't get back into this. Thank you very much for listening. We love you. We will see you next week. Yeah. Get ready for this. The day before Ginger's family left Fairhaven falls in disgrace. She made the mistake of kissing her older brother's best friend.

It was the best, a most embarrassing moment of her life. But she never thought she'd see the big Minotaur again. Now she desperately needs his help, but she has secrets you can't put on those brawny shoulders. Mayor, Howard, Houston, Iron Man is used to solving problems. For everyone else, when the deliciously sweet and completely off-limits woman he's never forgotten comes to him an outrageous proposition. He knows it's finally time for his own chance of happiness. All he has to do is uncover her secrets, convince her that their fake

relationship could be perfectly real, and save the town's Christmas festival. He's going to take more than kisses under the mistletoe and a little holiday magic to unravel this naughty knot. Welcome to Fairhaven Falls, where the holiday lights twinkle. love sparks, and monsters know exactly how to unwrap your dot, dot, dot, dot, horrors. Wow, that was a journey. It was like, okay, it's a minotaur thing. Oh, no, now it's a Hallmark Christmas movie. It is, it is called mistletoe for my minotor.

And you know what? We're in the Christmas season now, so get ready for more. I honestly wish that Hallmark got the stink of monster stuff, right? Like, if Hallmark finally picked up, and be like, oh, shit, there's a whole level of freak we ain't touching. let's do, because imagine how fucking derpy-ass minotores would look in a hallmark movie, they can barely do humans, right? Yeah. Imagine a minotaur?

That would be insane. Fuck, I want that so bad. Yeah. I just love that they, like, the sheer power of being like, oh, blah, blah, blah, and having the most mundane ever two sentences and then be like, but she never thought she'd see the minotore again. I'm like, he was a minotor. Hell, yeah.

This whole time. That's a powerful. Instead of Hallmark, we need to make our own production gap or company called Labyrinth Mark. And it's just Minotaur Hallmark movies. We don't change anything. No one references. No one's like, oh my God, it's a Minotaur. He's just the small town boy is just a fucking minotaur.

Yeah. That's it. My name is Dave Miller. And I'm now Spain. And we've been your fuck buddies. Now find your way out of our labyrinth. Thank you. Thank you.