F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Cheesy Investments

Episode Date: September 14, 2026

We work on and introduce a lot of really cool, new characters in this episode, so be ready for that. Topics include errand dates, call spamming, the worst investment opportunity, terrified over Tuppaware.Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello friends. My name is Day Miller. And I'm now Spain. And where are you fuck buddies? We are a sex and dating advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situation made of a sticky sexy. No. Oh, God. I feel like you've been on a really good run. Yeah, man, I haven't slept much this week. And it's been a real stressful past like two weeks, I guess. Everyone, just everyone's sick. Everyone go to the doctor. Everyone go to the vet.

I feel like I've been at the vet more than I've been home. Yeah. And it's just and that's not the case. I'm only there for like half an hour. Yeah, but mentally. Mentally you're there probably more. Yeah. And like, you know,

trying to wrangle a cat and then getting in a cab and then every time I've gone, there's been a big storm as well. It's true. Yeah. It is funny because I know you slept well last night. And I feel like it's worse. Like you were doing better when you were absolutely struggling. on those, well, not struggling, I guess. You're fine on no sleep. I think you flip to the point

where like, you've weaned yourself off sleep. Now sleep is poison. It's either I get no sleep or I need to sleep for like four full days. Like those are the, I feel like that's the thing that I need. Like I feel like a normal amount of sleep, like a solid eight hours is nothing. Yeah. So I'm thinking, right? Right now we do something that not a lot of podcasters do, but we're going to pitch out. You have a limited choice, a limited opportunity for either. NyQuil or Monster Energy to come and save Dane. One of you going to turn him to a sleepy boy, maybe to give him that four days. One of you going to promote his never sleeping again routine.

And whichever one gets here first, sponsors the pod, will totally and utterly ruin. I mean, sorry, change your life. It's like a hunger games situation where, like, people can, like, you know, they send the little packages in when they like you. A little bag is going to float down to the front of your door and you're going to know whether you get to sleep or not. Honestly, I don't think energy drinks do anything for me anymore. I think I've mainlined that so much into my system that it's all placebo now.

Maybe, you know, I just enjoy that sweet, sweet zero sugar energy. We need to swap or I'll start horsing like energy drinks. You start horsing coffee and we'll see if that changes anything for us. Yeah. But what are we going to talk about this week? We are going to talk about, oh, I was just saying that's a good, I didn't think I had my questions up. I do have my questions up.

I'm prepared. That's good. we're going to talk about Guy I'm dating has started inviting me on boring errands instead of actual dates Did I ruin it by being crazy? Girlfriend left me over a cheese wheel Terrified over Tupperware

Ooh, okay I feel like I'm gonna have empathy up for that one But we'll see, we'll see when we get there Guy I'm dating has started inviting me on his boring errands Instead of actual dates Is by adventurous mix 4196 I'm 27 year old female I've been seeing a 30 year old male for about a month

First few dates were normal drinks, dinner, minigolf, etc. Last weekend he asked if I want to come with him when he returned something at IKEA and picked up groceries. I almost said no. It sounded like the least romantic day possible, but I went and weirdly had a really good time. We got coffee, argued over which frozen pizza was better,

and ended up sitting in his car talking for like an hour afterward. Now he asked if I want to come along with he gets his car service Saturday, so we could grab breakfast while we wait. I'm trying to save money right now, so I actually prefer this over dropping $60 every weekend on dates, but I can't tell if this means he's getting comfortable with me in a good way or if he's already stopped putting effort in. Would you see this as someone trying to include you in their normal life?

Or is one month way too early to be already doing errands together? So when I was looking over questions for this episode, I fell into a hell of, like, I have a rule of three months. I have a one month. Is one month long enough? And I'm like, everyone needs to chill the hell out. How many times do we have to say it before you fucking get it? it's it's like it's not serving you right like if you are unhappy and you are miserable and

you have these rigid time constraints or rules or this idea of like x amount of time equals x amount of progress equals x amount of like result you're only going to have a bad time and this is the same for like anything right i've recently been really really focusing in and trying to like figure out what my goals are and i'm i'm almost 40 i'm approaching 40 and I've, you know, we, we have a lot of projects on the go. We have a lot of things. And like, I, I want to see, yeah. And I want to see things succeed. And I want to start like sort of like really making some forward progression. And that really has to do with like setting goals and, you know, figuring out what is reasonable and what is achievable and what is measurable. And I feel

priorities within that too, right? Exactly. Yes. And so like it's, it's been challenging for me because it's not something I've ever really done. I don't, I don't really like, my brain doesn't work that way, but I'm like really, really trying to like focus on that lately. And I find that the thing that serves me the least is being like,

by November, I want X amount of whatever by this. Because I have no control over that, right? Like it doesn't matter how hard I work at something. It just might not happen, right? Like I can't be like,

oh, by, you know, January, I want fuck buddies to be on the, the top one podcast sex and dating pop it's like sure that's a great goal but like chances are we're not going to hit that but if I do say oh I want to do get four guests between now and January like that's achievable and even that might not happen because there is an element of the guests and whatever yes but it's like there's definitely a difference with goal setting between trying to be like

I want to be here when you don't have that under your control or I want to do X Y Z right if you say you want to lose 10 pounds by January maybe, maybe not, but if you say you want to walk 10,000 steps every week, that you can do because that is under your control. Yeah. And what the result of that 10,000 steps is kind of influx. There's a lot of other variables that you can't really control. The thing about these rules is like, they don't necessarily serve you, right?

Because if you're like, oh, I have to wait till date three before whatever, and you're not having a good time, you might still wait till date three just to kind of like get your head in order because that's the point where it's meant to get more serious. right but then you're having dates you're not having a good time bad or if you're having a great time like you just admitted that you were in this ikea date right why are you then muddying the water by being like i'm having a good time he invited me to this thing everything was great but i'm just gonna introduce something that's gonna make everything bad let's like yeah you could just be like things are good that's all the fucking matters right yeah and like you're saying oh uh is he already

putting in no effort i think reaching out to you and saying hey would you like you like to be a participant in my day, regardless of what it is, isn't low effort, right? Because, and this is how people, I think this is a big problem with modern dating as well, where people think, like, there needs to be these grand gestures. It needs to be a big date. It needs to, it's, you want to, the point of dating for me is to find someone I want to spend a large amount of time with. That's it, right?

Like, I want to find someone that I like and that will be in my life for a prolonged period. of time. If within a month you are already finding someone that you enjoy going to IKEA with, enjoying mundane arguments about frozen pizzas and shit, if you've already found that, you are winning the game. You are miles above

everyone else who is still struggling to get messages from their matches or a text back from their match. Or people who go to like a fancy dinner, which I'm sure you would consider effort and don't have a good time. Because just because it's a fancy dinner doesn't mean it's fun.

Doesn't mean you're enjoying yourself. There are plenty of people who go on dates that have a price tag on them that suck. And you're going on a good date that you're enjoying. You're saying this guy wants to spend time with me. I want to spend time with him. The time we spend is fun regardless of what we're doing. And on top of that, you're like, it's saving me money I don't have to spend anyway. Win, win, win, win.

So why are you then being like, however, I could ruin everything. Yeah. And like you need to focus on like sort of the, the, the, the, mundane aspect of this, right? Like, the fact that you are doing something that is relatively uninteresting and you're having a good time. Yeah. That is, that to me is, is the, is the biggest sort of like upsell of this, right? And it's the same way I feel about like those dates that you go on where it's like, yes, you started a bar, you have a couple drinks. But then it's that like walk home or the like weird little detour or the, you know, it's, it's those like little moments that you

didn't plan for, but just happen organically. And you're like, oh, this was actually really sweet. This was actually really nice. This was actually a very cool moment that I couldn't have planned. And that like I could see being a part of our future. Yeah. And it's only possible between the two of us versus bowling where it's like, who isn't having fun bowling?

Yeah. Well, one guy. There's always one dude. Yeah. Who's taking it too seriously and keeps saying, stop throwing it as hard as you can down the light. And that guy works there. Yeah, that's the boss.

And now we're banned and have criminal charges pending. Now we're not allowed to come back. Now Dave's going to bust us in the alley out back. Man, we should go to a Dave and Busters. Is there Canadian? I think so. We should go bowling. Let's do it.

I've tried to find a bowling alley in Toronto. And other than like the very expensive, like bowl room or whatever the fuck it's called, ballroom. They just don't exist. They're so far out. Yeah. There used to be a really fucking kick-ass one. This, again, has nothing to the podcast,

but I'm going to talk about anyway. There used to be a kick-ass 24-hour bowling alley at Kipling Station pretty much. Damn. And it was after 8 p.m. Every day was cosmic bowling. So they play like disco, turn on the black lights. It was, it kicked ass. Look what we lost.

This is what I'm saying? It's like, I don't want to pay like $200 to go bowling. That's, that's absurd. It is funny because like I know. that there is nowhere really accessible that isn't that. And it's like, when did the bourgeoisie get their hands on bowling? And why?

This is what every sitcom husband cares about, right? This is the Joe Schloh of sports. It isn't golf. You rich people can take golf. But the thing is golfing is actually cheaper. Kind of the same, right? They're low effort, old mad sports, right? Yes.

And like, we should be allowed to have those, but it's being taken from us. You know what's cheap? Stuff that would blow my Achilles if I tried to do it. Right? Although apparently golfing is actually probably cheaper than. I know. You told me we should do it.

I actually was going to reject you. But we'll move on. We'll move on. Let's go back to the podcast. We're back. We're back. Stop freaking out. This is fine.

You're having a great time. Just enjoy the free time or the good time. The only reason this would be bad is if he was like, hey, want to hang out and help me move furniture and then he like made you move his furniture or like, hey, you want to hang out and do this thing? and he's like using you as his like, you know, his chore or whatever. Like, this is fine. This is fine.

And you're saying it's fine. You're literally saying it was a great time and it's good. I want to save money. So what the fuck are you complaining about? Yeah. You got to stop. Or if it was saying, hey, do you want to go on a date? And then this was the date.

Right? Like, if that was the way he was framing it, then yes, I could understand why you'd be upset. But he didn't, he said, hey, I'm doing this thing. Do you want to come with me? Yeah. It's very different than ask you out on a date. You like took him to a cool gig and you were like, oh, next date you planned.

He was like, hell yeah, car getting detailed. And you're like, oh. And look, if this is all it is going forward, you totally have a like to stand on to be like, hey, like, I want to do more things. But that's still a different conversation than do you not care about me? Yeah. And maybe he doesn't. But I mean, like, you got to calm down. Yeah.

And stop putting fucking time restrictions on shit. It's arbitrary ones, especially. That's the worst thing. It's like you're literally saying, I don't know, I read somewhere on Reddit, that a month is the time. No, it's not. What are you talking about? Yeah.

I went through probably like 10 questions today where it was like, I need to know, people need to commit to me within three months. I feel like you should know how you feel about three. And it's like, all right, well, hey, there's a reason you're still single. Yes. Yes. And perhaps it might be your crazy three month rule. And the worst thing is every single comment is like, three months, I don't even wait two weeks.

And it's just like, guys, I loved. I saw one very similar where they were like, blah blah, blah. After like four dates, I saw that he had changed his picture and like, am I wrong for thinking he should commit to me after immediately meeting me? And everyone's like, no girl, you're totally in the right. Like he's a scumbag. Like dump his ass, blah, blah, blah, blah. And one person was like, I date with the rule that like, if I meet him once, he has to be committed to me. And if that's not, you know, and then the person was like, oh my God, like, I love this rule, blah, blah, blah. Like, how's dating going for you? And they were like, poor. Not not in that short of a, but they had a big law. like very verbose description that could be some does like it's not going well gee i wonder why i wonder i wonder why that's happening yeah who knows it's embarrassing uh this is from fabulous return did i ruin it by acting crazy i a 33 year old female have been seeing this man for about three months now we see each other regularly throughout the week on the weekends we usually don't communicate as much as he has kids and i work weekends i've noticed recently that he hasn't been responsive or

communicative as much. I try to read too much into it, but I can't help it. I don't say anything because he's not like that in person. He mentioned he would be going on vacation for two weeks. Cool, have fun. The Friday before his trip, everything seemed normal. I went over to his place. I brought him lunch. I mentioned to him that I'd be coming over on Sunday night after work. He agreed. It's weird to be like, I'm coming over on Sunday. I mentioned, by the way, I will be here. Yeah. Well, come Sunday, I text him to see if I could go over and he doesn't respond. I think, no biggie, and go about my weekend. I don't hear from him at all since Friday, uh,

I don't hear from him at all since Friday, which isn't normal. I call him on Tuesday. I think this is where I messed up. I kept calling him three times until he picked up. He told me I was being crazy and hung up on me. At that point, I made up my mind that this has officially come to an end.

It just makes no sense to me. We were fine when I saw him last. Did I cause it? Did I cause this by acting crazy? Or was it bound to happen as he seemed to be losing interest? Hmm. I think it's, it's pretty rude if you've agreed to meet on.

Sunday to just not respond and then not meet and then not even talk about that. Like I will say you've agreed that like he's not very communicative on weekend. So like I wasn't really coming down hard on this guy until the fact that like if I had plans with even you know you and we're not dating, if we were going to meet up on Sunday and you mess with me, I didn't reply. Sunday comes around. We never talk. We don't meet up. And then no one says like, oh, sorry. I would be like the fuck's going on. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So I think that's that's pretty rude. Is calling somebody. a bunch of times in a row, great. It's not. But is answering

and immediately being like, you're being crazy? That's also kind of aggressive. Maybe it didn't quite go down like that, but I do think... She says he told me I was being crazy and hung up on me. Yeah, if he literally just pulls up the phone, like, you're being crazy and hangs up, that's fucking wild.

It does feel like we're missing some context. So I would say, look, if someone is ignoring you or you feel like they're ghosting or they're not giving you enough communication, I wouldn't jump to the nuclear option. The nuclear option being call him a million times, right? It doesn't seem to say that you talked or tried to talk between those, which again, could be omitted information. But like, if you have to resort to that, surely things are already fucked, right? Do you think you're like calling him 20 times and then he

answered? He's like, oh, hey, how's it going? And you're fine. Like, that's not, I don't think there's a way forward from that. So it's almost like, if you don't trust somebody, it doesn't necessarily matter whether they're cheating or not because like trust needs to be part of the relationship. So, like, with this, if you're freaking out that much, it doesn't really matter because if you take that step, I think you've already done pretty irreversible damage to the relationship. I also think that like, after three months, if you have plans with someone and you've seen them like barely regularly and then all of a sudden they don't respond. Like, I don't know if I would just be like, didn't respond. Okay. Do do. Do you. I would be kind of concerned if if someone I had plans with

who I was dating and was in like pretty regular contact with just didn't respond one day. especially when we had like a pre-arranged meeting or hang out planned, I would, I would probably would have put a little more effort on that day to be like, hey, are you okay? It's like, did they respond? Like the Sunday. Was there any communication attempt at then? Because they haven't heard of, they didn't talk to them since that Friday. But that's crazy to me because like, again, sure, Friday you reach out. You don't really hear anything from them. It seems in keeping with like they talk less on the weekend. But like Friday's the day they made the plans to hang out. So they saw each other on Friday. May plans to hang out on. Sunday. True, but then she reached out Saturday, right, just to like message. Uh, no, he, she, she, she message on the Sunday to like, be like, hey, like, oh, why should I come over? Ignore everything I said. Uh, yeah, it's, it's kind of crazy. So I think you're in the right to be annoyed about this level of communication, right? Because I think it's different communication in general versus when you have an established plan. I think it's pretty fucked up to just be like,

yeah, whatever, not reply. It's incredibly rude to make plans with someone. Now, I do wonder how much of the the like, I told him I'm coming over on Sunday. Yeah. He agreed. I wonder how much of that is your head. Yeah. Making things up. Yeah.

Right. Like, because you wrote it weird. Yeah, you wrote it weird. I mentioned that I'd be coming over on Sunday. And he agreed. That really feels like you're trying to convince someone in a court of law that you didn't do something wrong. Yeah.

So that's my only thing. But, I mean, even still, he's an adult man, presumably. Mm-hmm. Who has a brain. and can be like, hey, actually, I'm going to be busy. Old assumption for an adult man, Dan. Yeah, I know, man. You can say, actually, Sunday doesn't work for me.

Or if something comes up on the Sunday, you text them and say, hey, I know we're supposed to hang out, can't do it. Even if you're lying, it's so much better than just being like, oh, we have plans. And you know what I'm going to do? Ignore you for the next three days. So it's annoying because part of me does feel that there's a lot of context missing here. and I do worry about how chill you were on the Sunday when you reached out and how firm those plans were and whether you were really spiraling with this trip coming up and that kind of bled in and maybe he was packing,

maybe he was doing whatever. Like, I don't really know. And it doesn't help us for me to guess and add these things that may or may not be in the question, even though I feel they might be there. So I will work with what we're given. It's messed up if somebody has plans with you and just ignores you like that, right? I think if regular communication is just breaking down, that's one thing, but with an established plan, really shitty.

I do not think mass calling somebody is the answer. No. Because again, it's like try to reach out normally. Yeah, try to reach out normally one, two, three times maybe over the next couple days. If you're not getting a response, what do you think calling is going to get you? Even if they answer, they're going to be like, oh, you've forced me now to have this confrontation to you. It's like they're clearly ghosting you or something's going on.

There's no point. Just take a step back. And also, were they on the trip by that? Because if they were on the trip by then, maybe you were being crazy. If he was like, I'm going on a trip, I won't be able to talk to you. And you were like, call, call, call, right? Yeah. So they don't really tell you when he's going on this trip.

I think it's one of those. There's also a part of me that wonders maybe this man is got a little, he's getting a little action on the side. Maybe he's on a trip with somebody else. That's kind of the vibe I'm getting of being like, don't, don't talk to me on the weekends. Maybe. But again, he has a kid and she works as well. wasn't just him. Yeah, that's why they weren't communicating.

Yeah, I, it, yes. But like, as now said, it's bombarding someone with calls is never going to get the reality. Like, the only thing you're doing is making you seem crazy. Right. Like, that is the only time I ever mass call anyone is when I, I remember, like, very specifically, like, I woke up one day and one of my, like, my ex just wasn't home. And it was like, 6 a.m. And I was very concerned because I knew they were, like, out. And I was like, are you okay?

I just need to, like, I just want to make sure you're okay. Yeah, that's like life or death. I think something terrible has happened or I'm trying to piss off my friend. Yeah. Or I need to wake them up because we have a podcast to record. Yeah, it's it's never going to go the way. Like there's no way to like call someone a bunch of times and then be like, hey, just wanted to chat.

You know what? Like it's, yeah. There's a level of. It's aggression. that comes with calling someone that much. And there's no way to walk it back either, right? Like, forever you will be the person who called me 15 times in a row. And I'm going to be worried that if I don't answer right away, this is just how you respond, right?

Especially just early in a relationship of being like, oh, shit. If I don't do exactly what she wants, I'm going to get a thousand fucking phone calls. Because the thing is, you're adding that eggshell now that they want to avoid stepping on. and either two things are happening. One, he is being nefarious and doesn't want to talk to you in which case, like, you're just getting a fucking argument, right? Or two, actually something legit is happening, in which case you've gone off the deep end and now you're adding to the bullshit.

So it's like, what's the third option? He just forgot about you? I don't think that's realistic. So either way, you're not going to win with this fucking frantic call. This is a tactic that does not pay dividends ever. No, no. So don't do it. Yeah.

You need to, if this is. is really a problem and you wanted to like keep going. You need to be firm on the Sunday be like, hey, it actually kind of sucks. We made plans. But like, like, we go so cavalier being like, hey, should I come over? And then here or nothing, you'd be like, and then I went about my day. Yeah. That's weird to me to be,

to then go a couple days later, full like bombard, call, call, call, call, call. Like, why why did it take you that long? For me, I would have been on Sunday, be like, hey, is everything okay? We were supposed to hang out today. Haven't heard from you. Just making sure everything's all right. Yeah. And then I mean like, look,

just heads up. I'm a bit upset that we did all this, but I guess I'll talk to you when you can and then do they respond? If they don't, pretty clear. Yeah. I would usually send the like, haven't heard from you. So I'm doing something else. Please let me know you're okay. And that's where I probably left it. And then like, you know, if I never heard back for them, then I would assume they are either dead or not interested in me. Yeah. And in which case, it's the same result. Yeah. Or like the no, no man got them and they've kind of been wiped from collective consciousness. Yeah. There's a new movie called the Whisper Man. which I'm very excited for.

Really? I love a, I love a man. A blank man. A very spooky man. We are going to take a quick break to, I don't know, maybe figure out what kind of men we are. I'm going to call Dane seven times. And I will ignore them. We'll be right back.

I want to be the knock, knock man. I see you trying to call me. Damn, we didn't do a break long enough. What would you knock? Doors, heads, floors. Oh, okay. Man, knocking on the bottom of the floor, pretty creepy. That'd be scary, right?

Especially if you're a door. Yeah, you think it's a door and you go over and you open the door. Then the floor boards open. And then they look behind. Yeah, and then there's just like a hand coming out the floorboards. Okay, we have copyrighted all of this assholes. Don't know. Hey, put that back.

I raise that from your notebook on the subway. I see you. We're on the subway. He's knocking on your iPhone. You're ready for it. This is by Jams 138. Am I overreacting? Your girlfriend left me.

over a cheese wheel. I'm 27-year-old male, girlfriend, 26-year-old female. Saving for a house down payment. I work. She's unemployed. I've saved 32,000. She's saved 4,000. I feel like I bear the brunt of the financial decision-making here. I was doing the Oxford County Cheese Trail and found a vault release. They were selling a 140-pound wheel of 21-year-old cheddar. This age using a traditional clothbound method that's practically extinct here in Canada, with over 21 years extremely concentrated. 21-year-old cheddar often sells for $120 a pound. Farm was selling the entire wheel for $18,500. If I cut it into 200-gram wedges and sold it at 60 each, I'd make $38,000.

I bought the cheese wheel. Brought it home in my truck. When I rolled it into our apartment, at first she was excited. When I started to explain the financials, the positive investment potential, she turned sour. She didn't yell, but expressed she wasn't happy about how I spent my share of our house savings. Now she's staying with her parents. I think she's overreacting because she doesn't understand the Canadian housing market. Our savings is not enough for a down payment of a ridiculous mortgage,

and we need to take these opportunities. Am I of reacting? Am I the only one with ambition in our relationship? Now, how big this cheese wheel? Because this motherfucker says he's rolling it into his house. Well, it goes, it's 140 pounds. That's fucking heavy. That's a lot of cheese.

That's fucking heavy. It's a lot of cheddar. You could easily wound or maim someone with that. Yeah, you could drop that on someone and do some, some cheesy damage. And that's the thing, right? Maybe just pivot, right? It's going to be a lot easier,

a lot more lucrative and you could keep reusing the cheese wheel if you become some kind of like cheese wheel based hitman, right? Because the thing is, no one's going to be like, hey, Patrick was killed in the crime family. What are we doing about?

I don't know. That was like meant to be Italian. Boy, that was weird. They kind of meandered. I think I was just like, what? The crime family? The crime family. I had to be generic

and I don't want to piss off a specific crime family, you know what I'm saying? Yes. And that's like, oh, no, they killed Patrick. One of those non-specific Italian crime family. Was it Italian? Or did I also modulate my accident? So we're not in any trouble. And called him Patrick, just to be safe.

So Patrick gets crushed. They're all, you know, they're arming up for some revenge. Then it turns out, oh, he got crushed by a cheese wheel falling down the stairs. Classic cheese weasel. That was an accident. There's no way this fucking dweeb who's doing the Oxford County. cheese trail. By the way, we gotta do, oh, well, you can't do that. I'll do it. I would die. Yeah. I would, I mean, I would have to go, I'd have to go for the hard, because a lot of those

don't have. What could be harder than a fucking 21 year old? Yeah, what's harder than a 21 year old cheddar? That would probably, that would absolutely ruin me. That's what I say before I drop it on Patrick. But like the thing is, at course, it's not going to convict you for killing people with cheese wheel. It's an accident, right? Cheese wheel is probably intact to 140 pounds. That's dense. And if you do get caught, then you do it again. You've got a getaway vehicle and a shield. And bribes. Yeah.

Caught them off a little slice. Who doesn't want a little slice of that cheddar? He's him like, hey, I got some cheddar to make it worth your while. And they're like, yeah, because they think it means money. Yeah. They think you're using cheddar in the way that they did at the 80s, I think, or the 90s. In the crime families. In the crime families.

I look, I think spending almost $2,000 on cheese is a crazy move. That's just me. I'm sorry, you said $2,000. Yeah. $18,500. Oh, I thought it was $18,500. No, $18,500. He's spending almost $20,000 on cheese is a crazy thing to do.

That is, you were saving up. I wish I want to know how long he was saving up this $32,000. Yeah. But you spent over half of your savings on this cheese wheel. Look, I don't know much about cheese, but I do think that these kind of cheese is need a pretty consistent like keep right like they need to be climate controlled they need to be like stored in a way that is is pretty good i think i maybe not i don't know because i'm thinking about it now like in sky room there's just wheels and cheese sitting out on tables all the time so maybe and yeah we

should we should base our health and safety food standards off one a video game that's two set in like a pseudo medieval time because they were killing it yeah um and like on top of that do you need like a a license to sell cheese probably, right? I can't just get people to rock into my house and make them soup for money without having certifications, right? Yeah. The other thing is like, do you have a market for this much cheese? Yeah.

Are you just going to go to a farmer's market and be like, here it is. Come look at my big cheese wheel. I'm not going to do any marketing or branding or anything. I am going to set up a folding table and just slice off slabs of cheese for you guys. Now, I will say, my part. has tried to find this person since we found this question. So maybe this is the marketing. Right. Right. Rare. Because she really wants this cheese and I'm not going to lie. So do I. So if you're this Toronto or Canada based person, hit me up. Maybe we can help you resolve this issue. And look, I think the

crux of this, because you're very right. It's like, do you have the ability to sell this? To market it, to store it, to portion it, to find. Like, there's a lot of shit that goes into this. It's a business and you're just on a whim making a $20,000 business and hoping to double it, that's kind of insane. Right? I'm also like, look, I, there, when my partner moved in, we got rid of a bunch of stuff. And I was like, I, I could probably get some money for this. I could probably sell this.

And then I thought about trying to do that. And then I put it in a box on the side of the street and just let people have it. Because I was like, I don't want to go through the hassle of arranging a seller. And then them coming and being, oh, I don't. have $20. Yeah. And like the idea of trying to facilitate the sale of $20,000 worth of cheese is absolutely. You've made your house of the crime families hear about this cheese.

Even if you're not killing them, maybe they want to do a cheese heist. You hear about those criminals that stole a bunch of maple syrup. Maybe they want cheese. You don't know. Maybe you've put your partner at risk. Where are you putting this? Where are you putting this? Where are you doing?

Where is this cheese going? So the crux of the issue here. is he feels like it's fucked up of her to be annoyed at him spending his money. And in a way, sure. But in another way, you can also not want to be with a partner that is irresponsible with money. Yeah, right? Like, I think if she doesn't have any right to tell him how to spend his money or to be upset with how he uses his money. Absolutely.

Especially when he seems to be the primary breadwinner, right? Cheese winner. Cheese winner. Yes. Sorry. Excuse me. However, as Nile said, I do also think that if, like, if she went and spent $2,000 on a makeup fucking pyramid scheme or some shit, I bet he would be pissed, right? It'd be like, you spent half of the money that you saved up on this fucking hairbrain scheme to make more money because you were, you've done the financials.

And if you sell all the product, then you've, and it's like, it's the same thing, right? And I think he would be just as pissed that she had spent $2,000. And I think that's fair. On a makeup startup or whatever. Yeah. Because like financials are one of the biggest things that couples fight over. And it's a pretty important thing. If you're tying your life to someone, you're tying your financials.

You're buying a house together. You need to make sure you're buying a fucking house with someone who isn't going to tank the entire thing. Go bankrupt. Lose the whole. You know, like you need someone who's responsible. Right. And I think that can be really small. It can be really big.

It could be like, oh, I went out and I spent a thousand dollars on a novelty cigar at Niagara Falls for some reason. And you'd be like, why? I have a solution to this, though. Instead of, look, the reason this cheese is as expensive as it is because how it was aged, right? So all you got to do, you're not selling this cheese. You just sit on it for another five years. And now all of a sudden, it's not a 120-year-old cheese. It's 125-year-old cheese.

And you can mark that up, right? Like you now it's- Right back to the farm. Now it's an even more aged. You get, you buy a spot on the cheese trail or whatever the fuck that is. And now you stand up right before this fucking dumbass And be like hey remember me you dumb idiot Look at this Check out this old cheese

What if you do get a spot on the Oxford cheese trail Or whatever the fuck it's called And you just kind of like mush your face Into the front of the cheese wheel And then you sell tickets for people to come see The Jesus cheese wheel where it's like Oh the face of Jesus cheese. Please.

Fuck, come on Nile That was I've never seen that. It's such mental anguish. You know what, Dan? I was trying to solve a real problem here. Sometimes we don't have to make jokes about everything. I'm retiring.

I fucked up. This is like scoring an own goal in the fucking World Cup final. Yeah, the crime families are going to kill you now. When I get back home, yeah, getting kneecapped. This is, it's such a non-issue, man. Like, wait, no, it's a full issue. Dane's really chill with. No, Dave was talking about my kneecaps getting destroyed.

That's a non-issue to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, this is, this is dumb on so many levels. Like you, you invest it in like the most volatile possible. Like, like, you're going to have this, again, presuming that you know how to keep this cheese. And I'm assuming that you can probably just keep it out room temperature, just sit on your counter, I guess. You're going to be trying. 140 pounds so big though. That's your new furniture. Especially if you're wheeling this motherfucker into the house. I like, the idea of selling that much cheese. Nightmare.

is I'm exhausted just thinking about it and I feel bad for you for having to come up with this stupid fucking idea. $18,000 is crazy. Yeah. That hurts my life. This is from Cloud Cutie. Is it cute?

Or did I just make it weird by bringing them leftovers. Okay. So I, a 21 year old feel well. Female have been seeing this guy for a few weeks. Three dates. All actually good. Like not the we survived dinner kind. After date two,

I mentioned my meal prep on Sunday. because I work weird hours and if I don't, I just eat cereal standing up like a raccoon. He laughed and said that it was cute. So this past Sunday I made extra pasta and I packed a little container. Not nut. I cooked for my husband way, more like I had extra and thought it was a nice thing. I've dropped it off because he lives eight minutes from me and we were already texting. You opened the door, looked at the Tupperware and went, oh.

Not me, just oh. Then he said thanks. We talked for a minute and it was fine. Later he texted me, the pasta was good. You didn't have to do that, which like, I know I didn't have to do it. That's why I did it. Now I keep coming up. Now I keep thinking I sped us up into girlfriend territory.

He was not there yet. My friend said it was sweet. My other friend said I basically put a, I want a slow cooked life with you sign on his porch. I don't think bringing someone food is marriage proposal, but I also cannot stop replying the, Oh, would you be worried out if a girl did this to you after three dates

or my spiraling over Tupperware? I need to know if you told him you're coming over. Or did you just appear on this doorstep? Because that's very different to me. I think also did you tell him you were bringing food? Because were you like, hey, I'm going to swing by. Did he think it was a booty call? Mm-hmm.

Because the thing is, yeah, if you said this and you were being coy, like, I got something for you. He probably wasn't like, yeah, Tupperware of pasta. He was like, I'm going to get a blowjob. Or, you know, or you showed up, which I think is actually what happened by surprise. Like, he, he, ha, ha, I'm here. Nobody likes that. Yeah.

Nobody likes that at all, even if it's for a blowjob. Maybe I'll grow to like it in a second. but initially I'm like, someone's at the door, did I shower? Is the place clean? Am I in the middle of doing something? Like,

I'm answering the door. I hate that. Yes, that's an important detail. That is a really important detail as to whether or not he knew you were coming over. Yeah.

Because the like, oh, you're showing up here. It might not be the tub where it's the like, oh, you're just going to do this, huh? You're just going to show up,

especially three dates. He might be seeing other people, right? He might have people over. Yeah. That's the thing. I'm imagining you showed up. up out of the blue because otherwise I don't think you would have stood there, chatted for a minute and like left, right? I think you would have been like, oh, can I come over?

Yeah, sure. And then you would have had something. Right. And I think that's weird. He might have been like, I'm busy. I'm doing something. She was like, oh, I'm going to swing by and drop something off. Right. Maybe. If that's, if that's the case, then like, sure. I'm guessing that's not what happened. Just from the feel, just from the feel of the question. And I do, I do think, look, I think three days a little early for this. Here's, here's where you're in this way. Here's where you're wrong. She's 21. I assume the person she's dating, probably around the same age. If at 21, an attractive woman showed up and gave me free food, I would be probably pretty stoked. Again, no, no strings attached. If it was just like, if with the caveat of like she's saying,

hey, I made food, I got a little extra. I'm going to drop some off for you. And I'm like, hell yeah, come on over. Yes. With that caveat, but that isn't, we know for a fact that's not what happened. Yeah, I guess because she doesn't, I guess he didn't know she was bringing food. Yeah, best case she obscured why she was coming. Worst case she just appeared. And I've had someone I was hucking up with appear on my doorstep with chicken wings and beer after a throwaway comment I made once about liking chicken wings and beer. And I hated it because she lied to me, stole my address from or like lied to friends to get my address and then showed up unannounced after confirming I was home. And it was awful.

So that's kind of maybe it's my past trauma. Did she stay and eat those wings with you? She stayed and we had sex twice and we ate wings with. Yeah. So that's the thing. If she'd just dropped them off, I still would have felt weird. But it would have been more fun, I think.

If she didn't come in. Yes, because it was a bad time. I was like, I didn't want, I didn't plan to do this and she got like, it was the whole thing. I also, she was a weird person.

And I, that was the night I realized. So it was, yeah. I, look, I also think there is a layer of, she didn't know where you lived also, right? where it's like, no, there's a lot more layers.

Also, it's like if someone I liked had shown up or if she had shown up and ended up being cool. And this was after we'd met like once, twice really. Anyway, it's a whole thing. I think that while I don't think you did it the best way, because again, at the very least you lied about or you obscured the fact of why you were coming over and at the very worst you popped up. I also do you think it's a little early for the Tupperware in this way.

I think if you'd shown up for a date or you were hanging out and you brought it, I think that's different than showing up just to give it to it. And I know it's hard to put into words, but I think we all agree that there is a difference there. I see what you're saying. I don't think I would be bothered by it. I think I would be very stoked. Although here's where I will say.

If it's just pasta, less stoked. For sure. I assume it's got sauce. Well, yes. I mean, I just mean like any pasta is kind of like, if you're meal prepping pasta, it's probably not the best pasta. That's fair.

If you're meal prepping at all, let's be fair, it's probably not the best. Meal prepping is about, and hey, if you want to come, at me for saying that. I would actually love that. Please include your tasty meal prep recipes. But from what I see of people, it's more about quantity than quality. And also, you're more about

health than decadence. And I'm not about that life. Yeah. So whatever. It's, it's cool. I did however, though I dated someone once who thought it was imperative every time they made cookies or any baked good to leave an unmarked package on my doorstep and I like wouldn't tell me. So they would just like, and a thief in the night leave little packages. And it was like, you have to tell me like, this is Toronto, girl. Yeah, raccoon's going to get that. You think a raccoon's not going to get all fucking up in that baked good? And if it's like, please let me know if you're bringing baked goods over.

I was seeing her enough that I was like, just keep them aside and next time I'm over. That's the thing. Sometimes what you think is really cute is just logistically bad. Anyway, if you showed up unannounced, never do that. Never show up unannounced. Unless you are exclusive and like, I think there's some, but like in the dating stages, absolutely not. Don't do that.

It's not cute. It's bad. So don't show up unannounced. It could hurt your feelings, right? It could blow. Like if you guys are not exclusive, they could be dating someone, they could be dizzy. There's no reason to think that they aren't also seeing other people and like just showing up unannounced, despite you think of being cute, be like, well, I'm on a date right now.

Or like, I have someone over right now. Or even if they are just hanging out with someone who, happens to be a woman or yeah then you're gonna freak out you know the the the gender identity that they date you're gonna then spiral and blow that shit up anyway like it's it's just a bad idea to just show up unannounced at places i also think if you do have a cute thing like this just wait till next time you see them and bring it or kind of like i think you save so much more points that way like it whereas the other way is kind of risky right if you just pop up at their door to give them a thing i think it's just kind of or be transparent right like you're already texting right you guys she says

that they were texting while she was meal prep. Just be like, hey, I meal prep too much pasta. I can swing by and drop it off for you if you'd like. Boom, right? There's no, there's no game. There's no secret. There's no surprise. And if he's like, ah, no, it's cool. Like, I'm all right. Thank you very much. It's very sweet. Great. Then you leave it.

But if he's like, hell, yeah, pasta, swing on by. Then like, great. And like, then you give him the chance to, one, expect what you're bringing him. So there's not going to be an, oh. And two, you can put on pants and put deodorant on. However, look, that's all to just say, I don't necessarily agree with how you did it or when you did it. It seems so gone well, though.

So I think maybe you spiraling is not helpful right now. If for some reason he immediately is like, well, we're exclusive because you gave me pasta, that's him being weird, right? That's not a normal thing. If he asks you to be his girlfriend immediately, he was probably going to do it anyway. He wasn't going to just be like, well, I didn't think about, but she gave me pasta. Well, I think she's worried that he's going to think she wants that. Yeah.

And it's going to, like, he scare him off. But I mean, like, I think you just got to act accordingly. And if you notice something strange on his end, you bring it up. And this is like why you check in with each other when things seem to change in this stage, right? If you notice something weird, you can be like, hey, you're acting a little bit distant. Like, is everything okay or whatever? And he should be doing the same, which is like, hey, you dropped over this pasta and it kind of made me think, maybe you're taking this a little bit more seriously than I have.

That should be on both sides. You should just have open and honest communication. about that? I, it's, it's crazy to me to think that, like, if someone did that to me, the last thing on my mind would be like, oh, she's in love with me, right? Especially if she did explain, like, I made too much, figured you want some. It's like, I think it would be sweet. I do not think, like, here's a great example of this in the question itself of being like, why you shouldn't ask people whether or not this is good or not is one friend was like, nah, sweet, it's lovely. Yeah, exactly. And the other friend is like, you pretty much,

like, said you want to marry him. And it could. be none of those things, right? Like, no one knows how this guy is going to react. And no one knows how you're going to react to this. I will say, like, worst case, I would have thought that, like, it would be like a little, like, little block on the she wants more, like pedestal. It wouldn't be the beyond end all. It might be like an inkling or a feeling that I get, which then more things would have to build off. But if I didn't see more, it just wouldn't fucking be an issue. Yeah, it would certainly. Some people freak out. I was one sucking up with someone, uh, and she was really sick and we had plans to hang out anyway but like then she was like I'm really sick

like do you want to just watch a movie instead and this was like a very strictly casual thing so I was like yeah whatever but I picked up some like tea and I gave brought over some books and I was like if you're sick we were talking about these books you can read these books here's some tea which to me wasn't a I want to marry you it was a yeah that's a nice thing to do which I would do for my friends I would do for whatever yeah and I'm she freaked out and we never saw each other again which this is this is the problem with people who approach dating like you and I do in the sense that like if we are seeing someone even casually we treat them like friends and people and nice and it scares the shit out of people and it's so fucking weird of being like if I'm going to spend even if it's like two hours

to like hook up after work and then go home if I'm going to spend that time with you I want to enjoy that time with you and I want you to feel good during that time and I'm going to regard you as as a friend regardless of Like that's the reason I'm sleeping with you. Like I want to at least incorporate a relationship of some sort with you. It doesn't have to be a, you know, sensual one or a, you know, serious. Or even romantic one. But like, yes, it's like I've done the same thing where like someone was like, you know, we were supposed to have a hangout or hookup or whatever.

And then they had to cancel because they weren't feeling one or whatever and be like, cool. I'm going to be in your neighborhood anyway. Can I get you something? Right. Like, do you want something? There have been times where I've ordered Uber. eats for people. Also, it's like, when you're sick, that's so nice.

I don't know. And the funny thing is, it's like, if we'd had that conversation, I would have been like, no. Because honestly, if they'd asked me to be exclusive, I would have said no. I was not, I was not into that person that way. I really enjoyed having sex with them. And I liked them and it was fun, but like, it just would not have worked. But whatever.

So look, is there a possibility? Yes. Should you guys just have an open, honest question if any, or open an honest, like, conversation if anybody's questioning that? 100%, which is why we do it. So you don't have to worry about this shit. Because in the perfect world, you would do a thing. And if it caused concern, they would just be like, hey, this gesture kind of made me

think that you're looking for something serious. Are we still on the same page? And you go, yeah, I just wanted to have some fucking pasta. You high five, you fuck. You move on with your life. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

I mean, like, there's something to be said about a, like an early day dating where there is a food element to it. I was once hooking up with someone who was a baker at like a really nice bakery. and it just so happened because Baker's going to work so fucking early and as a bartender I get off so fucking late so it just so happened that like that 3 a.m. to 5 a.m. window

was like when she was kind of like starting her day so like before work and my after work but she would always save like day old bakery stuff so like loaves of bread pastries or whatever so like I would finish my shift go over to her place we'd hook up she'd give me a bag of fucking baked goods or whatever and then she would go to work and I would go home

And it was, it was great. It was like, there's always like a nice, like, if, if I was dating someone who, like, also included me in their meal prep, that'd be sick. Yeah. That's the thing. It's also like, if I really liked you, I wouldn't care. So, yeah. Anyway, yeah.

Yeah, it was just like, oh, we're hooking up. And also, you're going to meal prep one of my days. Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah. So don't worry about it. Keep your, like, keep doing what you want to do. And if he has an issue, he'll either bring it up with you or he'll fucking run for the hills.

And like, there's nothing. you can really do about that. If that's, if he's the type of person to not communicate, you can't just live hoping that you do everything perfectly so that he understands at every juncture exactly how you feel. And also, it sucks to also be in a relationship where you're like, I'm not going to do anything nice for you in fear that it's going to scare you off. Like, that sucks, right? I would want, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where I was constantly second guessing myself whether or not the nice thing I'm about to do is going to be a detriment to because at that point you're just not doing anything nice. You're just you're just being mundane bland person because you're so scared

that what if they what if they look into this? Yeah, it sucks. So like when I was dating, even if things like this happened, it didn't matter because I'm not going to stop being nice. Because I want to have like if I'm hucking up you, I still want to have fun. I still want to have this nice fucking vibe and like whatever. I don't want to just be like, hello, compatriot. This is my penis. Well done. And leave. Like, fuck that shit.

So it's like, if somebody else is scared of that, that's fine. If somebody else wants to communicate. He was sick. Yeah. He got me a little long now. It was kind of cool, though. Yeah. Mr.

compatriot. Yeah. Like, the amount of people who would question that, be like, hey, this thing happened or whatever. And vice versa, be like, I just want to make sure we're on the same page. And then once you can be honest with each other, it's fucking great. If they're going to run away scared, that's kind of something you need to know. And it's, if they run off, you're dodging a bullet.

But that's going to be it for us today. That is. Unless. Unless. Maybe it isn't. Maybe it isn't it. Maybe you're going to listen to all our bonus episodes on Patreon. And we would love it if you did, mainly because we'd be getting money.

Yeah. And we need that. We do need that. We need to go bowling. Let's be real. Bowling and buy so many pounds of cheese. That's what we're using our money for. If you join our Patreon, me and Dame will organize a bowling trip and we'll make a meat some cheese.

No. It'll be your punishment for destroying the lane. Unless it's like Mastavella sticks I'd fuck up I would get sick for mosterone sticks Yeah

But on the serious note And maybe we shouldn't do this Because you know We like to keep things light While serious But you know What Dane was talking about earlier We do a lot of work

For this podcast Like we do a lot of research Like getting questions uploading editing maintaining a social media presence editing videos reaching out to guests

Like having meetings With the network And we do it all to, you know, because we believe in what we do and we love you guys. It is essentially an unpaid job. We put in the hours of a real job. We get the pay of not very much. So if you like what we're doing, if you want us to keep doing what we're doing, if you want to help Dane's notes of things he wants to get done by January, a great way to do that is to join us on Patreon and support us monetarily. You don't have to make it monetary. We would love it if you did. That really helps. But you

can watch our videos, you can share our stuff, you can post about our podcast on Discord, you can tell your, or Discord, Reddit, wherever, you can tell your friends, you can like, share, you can review. I feel like we haven't gotten some reviews in a while. So if you haven't reviewed us, please do. If you have reviewed us, but you maybe use a different app or something, review us on PocketCast. Give us a five stars on overbox or whatever the fuck they're called CastBox, Overcast. It all really helps. And we love you. And we appreciate you. And sorry to get serious and boring and sales pitchy, but, you know. Nees to be done every now and then.

Yeah, we probably don't do it enough, honestly. But we appreciate you. Thank you for listening. And please consider supporting the podcast. Thank you, Josh Eagle also, and the Harvest Cities also for their song, Paper Stars. Were it for some bad sex writing game? Yeah. This is posted in the writing subreddit, Spicy Book Research.

I'm currently writing a book about an elf and a troll creating a new race. But the first sex scenes in water, I can only describe the events and feelings from a male perspective. Is there any female that can help me out with a vivid description of the female perspective? And they did say prospective instead of perspective both times.

Well, he's talking about mining. Do you want to message this man? Are you a female? Would you like to message this man a vivid description of getting fucked in the water? Yeah, it sucks, man. That's a trap.

Yeah, it's also very funny to be writing a sex scene about a troll when you are one in and of itself. Yeah. That's the thing. He's like, I can read it. There's a troll.

There's a mermaid, whatever. I can make that up with a woman? Sorry, a female? Yeah. Who knows, man? Who knows? Yeah. I know.

Hey, look, I know how trolls fuck. But women? Females? Who could know? Get at me. My DMs are open. My name is Dave Miller. And I'm now Spain.

We have been your cheese hit man. Don't tell them.