F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Cooksmaxxing

Episode Date: May 4, 2026

Bone smashing is out, y'all. We're tenderizing. We're marinating. We're seasoning. And we are irresistible. Topics include waiting by the phone like a cuck, using a huge dildo like a good friend, blindfolded sex, accidentally love thongs.Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello friends. My name is Day Miller. And I'm Nal Spain. And we're your fuck buddies. We're a sex and dating advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy, sexy situation, so turn them in a sexy, sticky situations. Look, we haven't done this in like two weeks. Why did it seem like you were having that squeezed out of you by some kind of ghost? I got very itchy on my thigh. And I think that energy was, you know, when like an itch just is just suddenly like, I'm here. Motherfucker.

Scratch me. You've never had like just a, just a like, look. I'm here. A lot of my itches just happen that way. It's rare that like an itch grows. It's just sort of like a. Now that we're talking about itches, though, I'm getting them. Stop it.

I know. Me too. I'm getting itchy kind of everywhere now. Our poor listeners, they're driving. They're running. They're fighting crime. And now all of a sudden,

you're throwing them off and they can't dodge that bullet. It's like when you see someone crack their knuckles or something and you're like, oh, now I got to do it. But I don't want to look like I'm caught. I also can't do that. Now I don't crack any part of me. Oh, man. I'm 90% cracks.

10% itches. And I don't yawn when people yawn. Whoa, that's crazy. I shag sociopath. No, do you ever see that episode of Luther where he's, or is it Luther? Is it the one where Idriselba is the like detective? That is Luther, but no, I haven't seen any of it. Episode one, he's got this big thing where he yawns in the interrogation room and then walks out and he's like, case closed.

They're like, what happened? It's like, he didn't yawn, did he? He's a sociopath. And I was like, I don't think that's police work, but. Sure. Also, I definitely don't think that will hold up in court. It's like, do you have DNA? No. Do you have a witness? No. Do you have the murder weapon? No. Mate and yawn. Watch, but watch this. No, Dan, don't do it. Here we go. Actually, I do want to yawn now. Yeah, got him. We got him. He's safe. That was our test.

Welcome back to the show. I'm by welcome back. I mean, we haven't taken a week off from you. We just had to frontload them because I was in Ireland. And now I'm not in Ireland and I'm back. It's weird to like, I wasn't in here for so long because we also did. We fronted a bunch of No Quest. Yeah. Look at us. So like we spent a lot of time in two, but like I have been here in two weeks. This is. That's amazing.

It's beautiful. Yeah. I'm sorry to drag you back. The lights in my closet did, however, turn on by themselves. So it was summoning me back being like, Dane, Richard to me. The people yearn for your voice. Especially when I do that.

Yeah. Well, this week we're going to talk about, Am I cook maxing? I have a dildo and it makes me feel empty. My boyfriend wore a blindfold of sex with me. Now what? I accidentally became kinky about thongs. I don't really know how.

I had a hard time getting there with the summarizing that question. More itches, uh? More itches. All right. Ready? This is by Autistic Psycholog. And this is from seduction. Am I cook maxing?

12 year old male here? This is this girl I met. at uni when we really clicked. We hung out four times so far in the span of two weeks and every time it was awesome. Talked a lot about everything and she seemed genuinely interested in me. Yes, I asked her for a night walk today and she said yes, I was planning to escalate. However, last night she sent me a message asking if she could tell me today whether she can come or not. I said, okay, since we're in the middle of exams and if she can't come, I'll just stay home and study. We're supposed to meet in a few hours, but she still hasn't said anything. On one hand, she might just be stressed by exams or has

unexpected family business. But on the other hand, I'm thinking, well, if she found someone else, tonight. I know she'd just said if she's busy, we can do it another time, but it's too late for that now. I just feel like a little cook waiting for her text. Oh, cuck. Yeah. I think you said cook. Cook, cook. But there's no difference. From cucking and cooking? Yeah, cucking and cooking. I think you do need to assemble so there is a difference. I could say cooking, cooking and cooking. I'm just saying if your partner was like, hey, do you want to do when I cook for me tonight. I'm just saying they sound the same.

Either way, I thought this question was going to be different. I thought he was going to be like. Being a really chef? Yeah, like, oh, I found that like if I make dinner for girls, they'll come over because I'm really good at making dinner. Is this a new thing? Is this a new seduction thing? I'm going to learn a life skill and way too positive.

Well, you know, seduction every now and then has, has those moments. I thought it was going to be one of those things where a man was like, oh, I have realized that making food and becoming a good cook and like learning something that is traditionally a you know women's woman's job uh is actually beneficial to me as a person and a sexual romantic partner yeah i thought that's where we're going but even like even looks maxing is like by all means make yourself look better or like try to make yourself look as good as you can within reason but then that leads to like bone smashing and and all sorts of mad shit so it's like if they were to be cook maxing as in like chef maxing, I'm sure they'd be like,

I have this new hack where it turns out I'm made of meat. So it's unlimited meat potential and I just chop up my little fingies and people don't realize this. They're idiots. They're going to the store. I am meat. I can just cook myself. Yeah.

Yeah. Or some variation of some stupid bullshit of people being like, what if I, is there a secret ingredient that arouses women that I can be putting it like. Yeah. No. Yeah. So this guy has just described like just dating since the invention of cell phones. Like that is just what you're talking about dude is just dating ever since instant messaging became a thing.

Like the second everyone got cell phones, this is how dating happened of sort of the idea of like, I'm busy and I can't really commit to this right now. I'll let you know. Granted, I'm not saying it's good. I think there is a level of commitment you should give someone when it when their time is at. a premium as well. I think it is kind of shitty to leave people like in the lurch and like hanging. And, you know, if I plan to hang out with you at eight, I don't want to hear at 7.30 that you can't make it. Right. And that that to me, I think is is a problem, especially with modern dating. But it is just that is, it's one of those things you have to accept. If you're going to date,

this is going to happen from time to time. And if you don't like it, then it's your job to tell someone to be like, hey, if you can't commit, let me know now and we'll reschedule for a day that you can. Yeah. And that's the thing. It's like she hasn't done this prior. So clearly it's not an issue yet. She's done it once. You seemingly were fine with it because you agreed to it. And if you weren't fine with it, you shouldn't have agreed to it. And now you're just feeling insecure, which is fine. But like how you act on it isn't. And the fact that you're or how you act on feeling insecure determines whether it's fine or not. And currently you're like, I'm a cook. Shit. Like that's not good. You've made up like you've said that like, oh, she doesn't. doesn't know if she can make it because you guys are in exams and it's you know whatever all seems fucking reasonable you have then imagined you came up with a new man who's more attractive than like you've created a a big buff boy that has stolen this woman from you and from from nothing there's no reason you have no groundwork or foundation to believe this to be true you just thought oh she hasn't texting me it's got to be this big big burly

man that's better than me in every way. And you've crafted that out of your brain. When you also have like ample advice to the to the contrary. You know, you're like, it's exam time. Like there are reasonable things. So it's like what she asked for you from you is pretty reasonable, right? What you did agreeing to it, pretty reasonable. If you are just going to like craft these hot men out of, out of nothing, that's not going to be good for you in the long run. Right. So it's like if you know that this is a thing, you need to get out of that headspace, right? And either not agree to this and be like, oh, if you don't know, whatever, we'll talk tomorrow or we'll try to do another day or get the fuck over it because you can't live life when any time somebody's out of your view, you're just

like hot man are springing out of every surface to abscond with them. Yeah, right? Like, that's, that's insane. So if I were you and you're not cook maxing, you're just being a nice person. Like, you know what I mean? You're like, yeah, it's cool. You know what I mean? She's not sitting at home being like that fucking little bitch. Look at that idiot. He's waiting on me. She's like, oh, yeah, this guy's cool. And look, if she is, we're not going to exist in a world where, like, yeah, maybe she did, like, find someone else and, like, kept you on the back burner. Like, people do that, and that sucks. And that's when you decide how, what your tolerance is for not making concrete plans. Are you okay with, like, do you have enough going on in your life that, like, if she texts you at 730,

and is like, yeah, I'm actually free. You're like, okay, cool. Or is it detrimental to to your life and your mental health, as it seems like it is, to be like, well, look, every time I'm trying to make plans with you, I don't hear from you until like half an hour beforehand. And I would like to have a social life. I don't want to block out periods of time where I'm just kind of waiting for you and I can't really do anything. So if you can't tell me definitively that like 7 p.m. a week from now on Wednesday doesn't

work for you, then look, I don't know if this is going to work for me. Like I don't want to keep living in a nebulous sort of maybe space. Gray bubble. Yeah. And I think that's a completely fair. I've had multiple people do that with me. And I tell people usually like when I was dating, my schedule's fucked. Like I don't know week to week when we're recording.

NoQuest is an even bigger shit show because there's more people involved in it. So it's kind of like I don't really commit until I've locked those things down and then, you know, work and editing and blah, blah, blah. And like my own social life. We've got Patreon for both shows. So it's like, oh, now my usual schedule of I don't know, I have to block out X hours. Oh, there's even more hours on it. You know what I mean? Yeah.

And there were times where like on NoQuest when we would book like a gig and get hired by someone, I would be editing, you know, my, my workload would double. And so it's like one of those things where I would tell people straight up being like never. Like I'm very busy. And I will put in as much effort as I can to see you regularly. And when I tell you that we're doing something on a Wednesday, we're going to do it. Like, I'm putting you in and I'm locking you in. And like, that is what is happening. And that's a big deal for me.

But otherwise, like, don't not make plans on my behalf, right? If I text you at 8 p.m. or 9 p.m. on a day and you're free, fuck yeah. Let's hang out. Let's go get a drink. Whatever. But if I text you at 9 p.m., you're like, oh, sorry, actually, you know, I have a date or I'm out with friends or whatever. I'm not going to be mad. I'm not going to be weird about it because I know that.

That's my life and that's my schedule. A lot of people are like, hey, it's been fun, but this does not work for me. I do not like organizing my life around that. And that's totally fine. I totally understand why someone in their, you know, mid to late 30s wouldn't want to do that. I get it. And it's the same thing for you, my dude. If you don't like doing this, do not keep doing it.

And the best part is it has nothing to do with any man fictitious or otherwise because it doesn't matter. If they don't suit your schedule, it doesn't matter. or why. And that's great because you don't have to worry about mysterious Chad or chunky Mike or whoever, right? You literally just get to be like, oh, it kind of sucks. I never get to see you. Or like, I'm sick of kind of waiting around and never really getting a firm answer. And that's all you need. And you don't need to make up these men. You don't need to be insecure. You can just base it on reality. And it's like if she is hanging out with you and occasionally doesn't know, but when you hang out, things are fine and she is communicative, what's the problem?

Yeah, I mean, like, there's a lot of talk, you know, we talked about the manosphere and stuff of, of this idea of like being alpha and being whatever. And, and the idea of like thinking you're being cucked because someone hasn't texted you. And it like, it's so weak. It's such a weak position. And I'm not trying to reinforce sort of like gender roles of like men are tough. Men are, but it's if if you want to embody a sense of strength to yourself. And I'm not. I mean like personal strength, not a, you know, cartoon depiction of masculinity or whatever. But like if you want to seem secure and confident, making choices that benefit you and your mental health and your social life and whatever and rationalizing them in a like real way, as Nile said, of being like, this isn't working for me. I want to see you more consistently. And your schedule doesn't seem to allow it. And I don't really like that. That is a respectable position. No one can really get mad at you for that.

And I'm not saying that people won't. You know, maybe someone will. People always will. But there's a difference between, you know, them not having a single leg to stand on or just throwing a little shit fit versus you being a fucking weirdo. Yeah. I mean, it all comes down to empathy, right? Like, think of it from her point of view, right? Keep her completely neutral.

Teleport into her brain. And just, just imagine. Like, what would you rather hear as her being like, I think you're fucking other men and keep me on a back. burner and I've created multiple powerful men that you would rather date than me and that's why you didn't text me or hey it's getting a little difficult to try to schedule things with you and I would like to keep seeing you consistently and that doesn't seem to be a thing that we can do what sounds better what makes you come across not like a crazy person yeah and in this situation especially because we're kind of talking about like an ongoing thing this is just like the first time so you

need to calm the fuck down. So if you're sitting at home, you're starting to feel insecure, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I would look at why you feel that way. Try to dial in why you feel insecure because it's not external, right? Like she hasn't done anything. She's done a very reasonable thing, which is say, oh, I'm not really sure. I'll tell you later. That's fucking rational. And you agreed to it. So obviously you either are, you know, so desperate for this person, you're doing something you don't want to do, which is bad, or you're doing it because it was reasonable and now you're just second guessing it, right? So if you are just, you are just, you're just second guessing it, right? So if you are genuinely sitting at home feeling bad about this.

No harm in saying to the text, me like, hey, just check it in. Yes. Any thoughts on later on? And if they say, oh, yeah, sorry, I still don't know. Just be like, okay, no worries. I'm going to actually make other plans unless hang out another time. Like, if it's genuinely that upsetting to you, do that.

That's a reasonable thing to do. You're giving them a chance. You're being polite. You're being normal. Nobody, again, they can get annoyed to you for that, but they shouldn't. And if they do, that's all you really need to know about that. And maybe she goes, oh, it's just bad message. you, yeah, I am free.

Or she says, oh, yeah, sorry, it's going to fall through. And then you can go do something else. I will say, if you want to wait for them, if you want to hang out with them on the off chance, maybe don't just say, oh, I'm going to go make other plans when you don't have other plans and you're going to sit at home and then feel like shit. Like, there's nothing wrong with waiting on this person. You have no reason to believe they have anything nefarious in mind. So just take a breath and don't sabotage yourself for no reason.

Give them an out as well, right? Like maybe they're they're stressed to fuck being like well god damn and I told them I was going to hang out with them and I want to hang up with them. But like I haven't finished all the work that I need to get done or whatever. Right. If if you have plans at eight and you haven't heard by six or seven, you can text as now said and just be like, hey, like where you at? And if they're like, oh, I don't know, just be like, all right, great. You know what? Let's not worry about it.

Let's make plans for another. And then try to make concrete plans. Like he says in the question like, oh, it's too late for that. it's too late to make like I should have just scheduled for another. It's not too late. No, it's not all. If you've gotten to a point where you don't think it's going to happen or they don't think it's going to happen or they still know what's going to happen, then be like,

hey, let's not stress about it so that like let's not keep both of our nights in limbo. And let's choose, you know, let's say on Friday, Tuesday, whatever, you know, you pick a day. Always, in my opinion, I think it's better to choose a day that you are free and sort of like work around that. I think being like, when are you free? Like if they're busy, they don't have time to like schedule shit, right? And like give. So just be like, I'm free these days.

If any of those days work for you, let me know. And then balls in their court, you can go and do something and you don't have to worry about what big, big, beefy man is. Slan jam in your crush. You're being reasonable, nice, empathetic, cool, confident. Like, these are all good things. And the funny thing is, you'll probably see people at Stuck. You're like, no, you're being weak. You're being cooked.

You got to freak out of their emotional. coaster like that's not it it's like this is just human interaction you know I mean imagine you're texting your friend and your friend couldn't hang out you're just like yeah no worries let's hang out this day instead like it's good and it's nice and it builds it builds the relationship and it shows her that you are confident I'm reasonable and cool you could be weird about it and then she'd be like you fuck this guy I got a study for my exam and now it's like fucking World War II go away right so I have a lineup of jacked boys outside my door just waiting. Just waiting. So just take a breath. Don't be jealous,

especially over nothing, and just be reasonable. And again, you can reach out to her. You don't have to sit there waiting for that text, right? Yeah. And look, you can be bummed about this for sure, right? Like, you can be disappointed. Your plants fell through. You could be looking forward to it and would be upset when it doesn't go through for whatever reason. That's a completely normal human response to this. It's the processing as we talk about it. Jealousy, the easiest way to deal with jealousy and what I've been doing since my like early 20s is being like, was this intentional? And do I have any proof that it is intentional? Or am I making things up to make myself feel bad?

And nine times out of 10, you are just making absolute garbage up to make yourself feel bad or to help yourself not like them to be able to pull away from them, whatever, right? But like right now the information you have is she said she would call. hasn't called yet and you don't know what you're doing. Those are the facts. Anything beyond that is fiction. And to get upset, it's like when you, you know, you're in the shower and you like have an argument with someone in your head. Like you get out of the show.

You're like, I'm fucking mad at that person. Yeah. Anything. Or you're like, you know, you think of a time when like a really bad thing had happened and then you come back to yourself after imagining and you're stressed out. And it's like, yeah. Because you just went through eight lawsuits and school shooting and all of a sudden you're like, oh my God.

Yeah. And then you're like, yeah, no, that was my imagination. So I also like to think, is what they're doing something I would, could, or have done? Have I ever mess just someone to me? Like, oh, yeah, I'm not really sure. I'll get back to you. Because probably, did you do it with evil in your heart? No, you were fucking kind of busy.

And then you got back to them. Like, is it a super rational, normal thing people do? Yeah. So why are you freaking out? And if one of those questions, if the answer is like, actually, yeah, I did do it maliciously and manipulatively. that's a great opportunity to use your free night to be like, hey, why did I do that?

Yeah, right? Like, there's, when dealing with jealousy, you have two really good opportunities and it's one, to not be crazy to sort of like work your, like walk yourself down from the ledge of getting stressed and feeling bad

and feeling shitty and insecure, but you also have the opportunity and this is a hard part. To have a giant fight with someone over nothing and ruin their night and yours. The hard part of confronting jealousy and insecurity. is then being like, oh, I've now located the thing that I need to work on.

And people don't want to do that, right? It's way easier to imagine, as this guy has, a sexy mic, a sexy mic that I can hate and then feel bad about and be angry over than it is for me to be like, well, I might do this to a person I wasn't really attracted to. Like, I have a woman on my, you know, in my Tinder matches or whatever that I would do this to. That's a new problem that you need to fucking sort out. That's a whole other can of worms that we aren't going to get into. This is from Big Brought Anil Sauce, which is a very strange username for this question. So I've been wanting a dildo for a very long time. Any sex toy for that matter, but after considering all my options,

I decided that dildo would likely be the right choice for me. I ordered one online almost a month ago, but the company never sent the package. And I had previously told my friend about this. For some context, I'm a virgin and had a hymonectomy relatively recently about two years ago. I wasn't able to fit even a tampon in, so I'm extremely new to penetration as well. The dildo I picked out was quite small, and I purposely chose an unrealistic one because it grosses me out when they're too phallic. A couple days ago, my friend was at a sex shop, sent me a photo of dillow, which she said

was extremely similar to the one I had picked out, and she offered to buy it for me. However, I didn't get a good look of the photo because when she sent it, I was in public. So all I saw was the exact color and relative shape. When the day came and I received it, I was shocked to find out that it was not. not only extremely phallic, but also huge. It was around seven inches in length, and the box says the shaft circumference is 4.7 inches, which is insane.

Keep in mind, I was almost unable to fit three fingers in before this. I wanted to be a good friend, so I bought some lube and decided to just go with it. Extreme pain ensues, as to be expected. But even after I was able to get used to it, I still didn't feel any pleasure at all. I had to finish myself off via clitoris stimulation, which, I will say, felt quite nice with the dildo inside, even if you didn't do much for penetration.

The morning after, all that I felt was shame and guilt. I feel so disgusted by myself. I could barely stand to look at myself or my coworkers the next morning because it made me feel subhuman. Anyone have any tips getting rid of this feeling or how to make penetration pleasurable with a giant dildo? Is this normal? You should have just returned it.

You should have just, like, being a good friend isn't, well, I'm going to hurt myself. mentally and physically. If I buy you, if I bought you like a fucking, you know, 12 inch, like six inch circumference, fucking like tentacle butt plug.

And I'm like, hey, I bought this for you, man. You're not going to be a bad friend, are you? Gotta be a good friend. Oh.

Yeah, no, it's like, it's charming that, that you want to do this for your friend. Uh, and it's charming that you're having so much trouble finding sex toys.

I'm sorry that the company never sent you one. I hope you got a refund. But also, it feels like you have issues that you need to figure out prior to this because you're also freaked out by things that are just phallic. That's the biggest warning flag that like I saw or like the first one because that's not that normal. You know what I mean? Yeah. It like it speaks to like other issues surrounding this. There's definitely a hang up on penetration and channels here. I'm not we could guess for any number of reasons as to what it is. Let's go. Let's see how many you can get. We're not going to do that. This is something that should be discussed with a doctor, a therapist, a pelvic floor specialist. For whatever reason,

if you are into penises and a penis grosses you out. Yeah, that's a problem right there. It stands to reason that that's going to further complicate your potential sexual relationships. Yeah. Now, I will say, the only thing that's going to make that worse is by trying to get through that with a thing that's going to hurt you as well. You've made it worse, presumably. Yeah, you've now added a stimuli to your sort of aversion to phallic-shaped objects. You're now equating them with pain and shame and guilt. Right?

Like, that's not a good idea. And I think as much as you seem to want to move forward with this endeavor, I think you need to maybe take a step back and sort of address the, you know, you're running through like a plate glass window door instead of sliding it open. And I think you are, as you've discovered, only going to hurt yourself and not just physically. And let's talk about that for a second. Don't do anything that hurts you. Yeah. If it hurts you, stop doing it. Yeah.

Especially when it comes to sex. Yeah. And that's not to say that there are some, you know, uncomfortable sensations that sometimes you kind of work through or whatever. But generally, if you are incredibly sensitive to something or if you have a limitation, like you've noted, you are very tight. and you have trouble fitting things inside you, maybe don't start with something you immediately recognize

as too big for you. Yeah, yeah. I don't care who your friend is or what your commitment is to them. I don't care if you owe them a blood debt for them saving your life as a child. You don't owe them anything to hurt yourself because they bought you. And it's weird to-

You can't return it now. You certainly cannot return it. I also find it very strange that, like, you talk to your friend about this. You told your friend, hey, I bought a DILTO. It's small. Obviously, you explained the reason why, right? Like, obviously you've talked about these things, I assume. I would love to know the level of which they did. Because I was going to say, it's cool that your friend knows so much about you and like that you guys are, you know, you're open to talking about this. But then I'm like, did you tell her all those stuff or? That's a good point. Maybe she just did they just do the color. Yeah. And was like, they just like fuck you over. And we're like, ha, ha, ha. Like, because you know what I mean? If they know and they got you this, that's kind of shitty. If they didn't know, it definitely is on. you to provide the, you know, accurate specifications of what you need. And that's, that's it, right?

Like, it seems strange to be that, like, you had this conversation with your friend, regardless of how much details you went into. And then when you got the dildo, like, why didn't you just be like, hey, so this looks a little intense for me. Like, I love you. Thank you very much. It was very sweet of you to think of me and, like, to do this. But I hope you got a receipt because I'm not ready for this.

And I can't imagine someone who's. If you opened it up to see how big it is, you probably can't return at that point anyway, right? I imagine you would know, like, the box would have to be. Who's to say? Who's to say it's been Houston? Oh, you mean, before you open it? Yes, yes. I imagine the details are on the box. Yeah.

And like, you know, the size of the box, I think would also be an indicator. She mentioned the, maybe it was just like a mattress where you pull out and go, yeah. It's one of those indie, Indie Casper mattresses. Have you seen the, like, the video compilations of people just getting absolutely thrown across the room by those. I don't understand because my mattress is one of those roly boys. And you didn't get absolutely

yeated. It takes a long time for them to open up. I don't. I think it must be a different type because I've seen the videos and like it's there's people getting launched at windows. Maybe. Or maybe I was just you know, I was smart and took it like maybe they're opening it like lengthwise

and it's popping out jack in the box style but I took it out tube wise. Either way I safely and securely open my package with no problem. Yeah. But I mean, I also watch people who are like struggling with IKEA furniture and I'm like,

y'all, it's not that hard. It's not hard. It's adult Lego. Weird flex, but okay. Yeah, I'm sorry. If you struggle with IKEA furniture, I apologize, but I think it's strange that you do. I think the biggest struggle in furniture making is communicating to your partner and not reading the instructions. Depending on the instructions, I will say.

I got some struck tube shit a while ago and it was weird, man. I will say the thing that pisses me off about IKEA furniture is when they have like keys and like like parts where you're just like why did you need like nine of these things like nine different little like screwy boys when like this one screwy boy would work yeah for all of them yeah but who am i to question the brilliance of dare question george ikea i won't and you know what we're going to take a quick break so that i can call ikea and apologize he did not take that apology well oh man i'm in so much trouble

And not like, not like friend trouble. Not like, oh, my friend bought me a dildo and I didn't use it. Trouble. No, like legal. Legal trouble. Physical trouble. Mr. George IKEA is famed for laying the beat downs. Yeah.

And he liked John Wick. Yeah, he's like John Wick. So don't tell him where we live. And let's distract him with a new question. Such as this by Canong Palm, my boyfriend, male 27, wore a blindfold of sex with me, male 26. Now what? We've been together for 7.5 years.

Since the beginning, I knew he wasn't attracted to me. He said it outright multiple times. He's only really attracted to classic muscular male physique. I'm by no means of muscular hunger. But I'm also not hideous. Plenty of people asked me out before we met and had a pretty adventurous sex life. He's also no Mr. Universe. I feel like we're relatively well matched, but his expectations are simply unrealistic.

After 7.5 years of limited sexual interactions, we do the whole thing a couple times per year and hand stuff maybe once a month. I'm tired of feeling unwanted and restricted. The other night he was wearing a sleep mask and new habit and suddenly wanted to have some fun but kept it on the entire time. Call me crazy this made me feel like an absolute gutter pig. Last time we slept together he kept his eyes shut too,

surely imagining ever someone else. I've been thinking about ending it for a while as he's extremely selfish at times, angers easily over nothing, never gives compliments only when I deserve them, as well as not finding me sexually attractive. I've moved 6,000 miles from my family to be with him 1.5 years ago

and I'm feeling it's not worth the heartache of missing my family anymore. He can be bubbly and funny too. My heart is breaking over the idea of ending things and hurting him. When I raised this to him, along with our other issues, he said it was trivial and I was being stupid. I feel like I deserve better than this, but am I doubting myself? Any advice? Look, I think if at any point in time, in any relationship, you bring a concern up to your partner and they say, that's trivial and stupid, that's a bad partner.

Unless it is. Even if, even if it is trivial and stupid. No, no, no. If it is, they deserve to say it, Dan. if my partner came up to me and was like, I'm really upset about stump them. And I thought it was nothing. I would still listen and try to resolve the issue because it's obviously important enough to them to bring it up to me. Honestly, I would probably talk about it more because I'd be confused as to why it's an issue.

If it was trivial and stupid, they would probably get more attention than a real problem. Because the real problem, like, I get it. You know, someone's like, I'm worried about this bear that just climbed in our window. I'd be like, yeah, we don't need to. talk about this much more. Yeah, for sure. The Bears here. We get it.

The Bears is tearing our indie match. Oh, it came out of its box. It threw it out the window. We're saved. Thank God. Thank God. This episode sponsored by now. It's not.

We don't know what we're sponsored by right now. It's true. I can't even pretend. We can't even pretend. Damn it. My one joke. But maybe. You can't say that.

Maybe it was. If it was, this is a really funny moment. If it's Casper, I'm sorry. Okay. back to the question. Yeah. No, then you make a very good point. Well done. This is bad. But you know what? There's many other bad things.

There's so much bad in here. He's not attracted to me. Bad. Easy to anger. Bad. Extremely selfish. Bad. Never gives compliments only when I deserve them. That yes. That's great. Move 6,000 miles away. Like, why are we talking about the blindfold? Also, you don't have enough sex. You're saying you barely have sex. Like, and you're unsatisfied. Why are we talking about the fucking blindfold? Which is honestly, that might not be a bad thing.

That might be a fun thing. Maybe he's shaking it up a little bit. He's like, ooh, this is kind of fun. And you're like, wow. It's like, what about the other really bad things that aren't up for debate? Like, there's no question. I mean, the relationship sounds abusive from the start of being like, I knew he didn't find me attractive from the beginning and told me specifically that my body type is not what he

finds attractive. Like, it's, that seems like a way to beat you down and make you feel bad. And like the only gives compliments when I deserve it also seems incredibly mitigated. What does, what's that mean when you deserve it? Like, who gets compliments when they don't? I don't know. It's bizarre.

The woke left. They're always, they're giving an undeserved compliments. Constantly. I just don't know. And like, I feel like it's hard for me to imagine a person who would say this to a partner. So I always try to assume the best in that maybe this partner is insecure. And one day somebody made a comment like, my ideal body type is this guy. And they were like, well, that's not me. You're unattracted to me. Like, fuck you. You know, I want to believe in the world where that's more

realistic than I'm unattracted to you and your ugly body. Yes. But I'm not going to, I'm not going to start putting words and stuff in people's fucking mouths. So you're not happy. You have a laundry list of reasons why you're unhappy. You don't want to hurt that. is your reason. So you want to be hurt? Yes. I mean like and look that that's a genuine concern, I think for like when when you've been together for someone that long, like there is a genuine like, like I care about you regardless of like what state it is. Like you know, you've been with this person for seven and a half years. That's a long time. Yes. Of course it's going to be difficult to end it or or do something that might hurt them because you still care about them. But at the end of the day,

They don't seem to be treating you well. No. You don't seem to be happy. They don't seem to be happy. So it does seem kind of strange to be like, well, everything is bad. Better keep doing it. And the thing is, if you truly believe they weren't attracted to you or into you, you wouldn't hurt them if you broke up with them anyway. Yeah.

You'd be doing them a favor. So you know that you're probably overreacting in that. I don't know. I just think you need to think about your happiness, right? Because they're not going to be happy if they're with someone who's not into them, right? nor will you be. So it's like you're doing everybody a favor in this situation. You know, if you are unhappy, if you are checked out, if this litany of things that you have

is real and especially when you try to bring it up and they tell you it's trivial and stupid, you need to get out, you know, because I would love for you to talk it through and to move forward and get to a better place. But how do you do that when someone says that's trivial and stupid? Yeah. Like the only advice I can give you is to come back with that as your ammunition and be like, look, we have issues or I feel like we have. issues and I'm not happy. And the last time I tried to bring it up, you told me it was trivial and

stupid. If that's how you feel about my happiness, then let's just call it. Right. Like, let's just, if that's truly how you feel when I come to you with a concern about how I feel, if you think that is trivial and stupid, then I don't want to be in this relationship anymore. And it would stand to reason that you don't either if my happiness is trivial to you. Because that is, that is a pretty core requirement of a good relationship is caring about whether or not I'm happy. And see what they say. If they say, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I apologize. I understand what you're coming from. Let's work this out. Let's talk about it. Blah, blah, blah. And then you may have a productive conversation. Then great. You know, seven and a half years is a long time to be with someone. Things are definitely going to start coming up.

Yes. Relationships are work. They're not supposed to be easy. They, you have to put in effort into them in order for them to be successful. So if you want to put in that effort, do it. If you do and they don't, then I think you have your answer. Or alternatively, if you don't and they don't, you definitely got your answer. Yeah. Like, by all means, give another shot. But like, if someone is unwilling to fix something and something is broken, what other option do you have? Yeah.

Yeah. Like, if your tire blows on the highway, are you going to pull over and try to fix it? Or you should be like, fuck it. Let's blow all these tires. Yeah. It's bad. It's not going to be good. This is from spiraling existence.

A wife accidentally got me into a new kink I'm ashamed of. He's a 26 year old male and a 24 year old female. So my wife, jokingly, bought me a thong off Amazon. Tried it on and it was funny and whatever. But for some reason, unknown to me. I was like super turned on. Now I'm a masculine guy through and through and straight as a ruler. No offense intended for those who aren't.

And not that anyone's underwear choices directly affect their sexuality, but this new territory for me and living in the South, if anyone knew, it would make me an outcast. because everyone here is against any kind of feminine kinks a man can have. I have other kinks for sure, but this is high up on the list to what gets me going. Feels risky. Feels good up my ass, maybe? Fucking hell.

Hard to believe I admitted that on Reddit. Dugly asked my wife about it, trying to avoid the serious question I actually had, and she shut it down very quickly. Don't know how to approach it. But the truth be told, I really want to live out my kink. Any suggestions on or comparable situations that might help me? Thanks. This was the issue.

I mean, I guess the issue is he doesn't want to get caught. Yeah, well, I guess like short of your partner, you know, being a piece of shit, you're probably safe. You know? I would also. Yeah. There's a lot for me where I'm like, what specifically is doing it for you, right? Like, do you want to wear it to work and like all day? Also, I'm assuming like a man thong, right?

Or is he like wearing ladies underwear? Like, because those are two very different things. That's a very good point. It doesn't say. I'm assuming if the wife bought it for him. I assume it's a man thong. I assume it's a banana hammock of some sort. Because it would be very weird if the wife was like,

ha ha, I bought you this lacy thong and it was like, take it off. You know, like, uh, so yeah, I'm,

I'm going to guess it is a, a male focused thong. That's what I thought, at least. But you're right. It doesn't really specify. Because I, yeah,

I just think there's, different depths to both sides of that. But who knows? Yeah. I'm trying to see if it. I don't think it was specified because it was kind of my question throughout. Yeah. No, it does.

I was looking at the comments to see if he brought it up. But look, I think you are in a tough situation in which you need to be honest with yourself. And I think that definitely includes like including your wife into this, right? Like if this is a sexual kink that turns you on, I think you need to be. find a way to make this work in your relationship. I don't really know what that looks like because I don't really know how this woman's going to react. Obviously not well, but it would, it also depends on like, well, maybe it would be well because

he seems to say he didn't come at it genuinely. Yes. So who's to say she responded genuinely? If he's making a joke out of it, and she makes a joke out of it, but for him it's serious, yeah, that's going to sound dismissive. But you also made a joke out of it. So I don't think you can come at a situation obliquely and expect the answer for a different question. Because if, if, you know, we were at dinner or whatever and I was like,

wouldn't it be crazy if I was wearing a thong right now? And you were like, not really. That's a much different conversation than like, yeah, be crazy. And you're like, fuck, he thinks I'm crazy. It doesn't. Yeah. It's, it's very different. So like, he could have been like, you know, maybe I'll start wearing that thong war for you. And she was like, oh, God, no, don't. Because it was a joke gift. Yeah. Right. So in her head, like, it's funny that you wore that as a joke. nothing more. And she's also agreeing with the way you put it forward, right? Yeah.

You know, she's saying, which is a much different conversation than if you were like, hey, so you got me that thong and it makes me feel real sexy. How would you like if I modeled it for you every now and then? Or like, you know,

can I, can I sex it up for you as well? Because that's a much different conversation. When you start talking about what you like, why you want it, what you want to do with it, like way different than like, the dog was crazy though,

right? it's two completely different conversations and two completely different intentions. Yeah. Look, I think on the upside, like I understand being in the South and being kind of worried that like someone would find out about this or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Like on the upside, that's kind of most kinks though, right? There's like every king. Oh, kings are kind of private time. Like, no one's really out there being like, I'd be pissing. I'd be straight, I'm pissing. You know, I'd like, you're foreman at your construction job is like, oh, yeah.

Deborah just absolutely pissed all over me this week. Yeah, right? Especially like anything that's out of the like usual, right, in terms of kinks, which like I don't think there's much. I think like spanking, even then it's like if you were being spanked, you probably also get the same reaction, right? So it's like most kinks are firmly bedroom time only anyway. So like unless you have a particularly vindictive partner.

But even if you did, every other kink would probably still like, Unless you had the most manly kink imaginable, there's still a way to be like, oh, he likes to be pissed on, he likes to be spanked, he likes to be cuddled, he likes,

whatever. So in a way, you're in the exact same position you would be with most kicks anyway. So that's fine. I think the real fear here is, one, internal,

like you, can you come to terms of that? And two, is your partner the kind of person that can come to terms of if you're genuinely worried your partner's going to turn on you,

that's really shitty. That's a really bad position to be. Yeah. Right? But I think the way, Dane phrased it is like it makes me feel really hot and sexy. Like, you know, I can't actually dig it. That's cool.

You know what I mean? I think that like feeling sexy is is understandable. You know what I mean? And if she gets really weird about it, like that sucks. But maybe it doesn't have to be a part of your sex like if you don't want it to be. Or maybe this partner isn't for you if they're kind of like that narrow minded and you can take this kink with you when you find a new part. Yeah. I mean, I would also caution of being like, you know, obviously your safety comes first.

I don't know how bad it's going to be. When we talk about Outcast, I don't know what that means like you lose your job or people attack you physically. Like I don't know what that means, right? So I'm not going to be out here being like, wear that fucking thong king, like go off. Because if that puts you at risk, don't do it.

Right. Obviously, as much as I want you to feel sexy and powerful in your choice of underwear, I also want you to make it to the end of the day. So, yeah, your safety is paramount and you're going to know your situation better than us. And it's like, don't do anything that would, you know, put you at risk. Yeah.

Maybe, maybe, you know, you wear your thong with a pair of underwear on top, you know, like boxer briefs or whatever. Like to, you know, the thong is just sort of like you're a secret. Or maybe it's just a home time thing because then there's no risk again. Unless you have a very vindictive partner or you accidentally open the door and get some pizza. And then it's your foreman on the second job. And he's like, what the hell? But then he's a tough.

He's also wearing thong. Now you guys are best friends. You have promotion. And dripping wet with piss. Yeah, but that was his wife. So, yeah, like, I think step one is figure it out yourself. Like, do you want to engage in this? Is it worth the risks?

Are you able to come to terms of it? Because there's also a lot of, like, internalized kind of, like, shit that we deal with. So it's like, you might not even be the outside forces that are going to be mocking you. It might just be yourself. And can you, can you be okay with that, right? If you can, fuck yeah. And if you want to keep going with this, hell yeah. Then you got to talk to your partner.

or tell them, you know, in whatever way feels best for you that you find it sexy. I think phrasing can be important here. You know what I mean? If you say wearing this makes me feel sexy versus I have a thong kink, different people might take things different ways. So come up with the way that you think works best for you.

And, you know, if they're not. Right? Like, be like I, when I wear this, like, I feel like I should be fucking you. Right? Like, bring them into it. Right. Like, this is a two person kink of being like,

this is my business thong this is my like when I want to go to pound town I want to put this on and feel powerful and sexy and like I want that to be you as well right like I want you to be like oh shit he got a thong on it's gonna be good I feel like there is such an element

of sexy masculinity around like man thongs or like strippers and like yeah kind of like rock stars like yeah right exactly so I don't think it's quite as unmasculine and unsexy as you think. There it is. You just learn the magic mic

dance routine. Exactly. Exactly. You sit her down. You're telling me, your wife is going to be like, oh, gross. He learned a choreographed dance number that's hot as fuck. Oh. No. There you go. You did it. Yeah. You just join a all-male stripper review, kind of like that horrible Chad Michael Burry Christmas movie. And everyone will come around to it. You'll win the hearts and minds of your

small, small conservative southern town. Now, it does suck that you're going to have to wait till Christmas. And it also sucks that unless there is kind of like, you know,

a crisis, like a data center taking all your water and you have to strip to get the money to get more water or something. Like you're going to have to fabricate a data center. Your former wife,

guzzling all the water so that she continues to. Yeah. Her name is data center. Yeah. So you will have to make a catastrophe and also wait till Christmas. But after that,

January, you're flying. On the plus side, it doesn't have to be a huge catastrophe. You just need to financially ruin one small business. Yeah. That's it. That's all you got to do.

Just think of a business that like kind of problematic. Well, no, because you are going to have to save it. So maybe find a also, it's the south. So maybe instead of making kind of problematic where it will thrive,

you need to make it kind of woke. Yes. Yeah. They're like, yeah, you have to find like a cool queer owned bakery or like a black owned like music shop or something. And then you,

financially ruin them so that you can get your thong king. But then you use your powerful thong magic to elevate them to new heights. Right. Like you are, sometimes you're going to crack a few eggs to make an omel. We say it every week. Find a P. Oh,

and the best advice we've ever given. Best advice we've ever given. Yeah. And then when the living snowman, Chunky Mike comes and steals your girl. Yeah. When that super jacked ripped. Snowman

The mind of the child Oh man We've been doing a bad job With Hallmark movies lately Yeah, it's true That's gonna do it for us friends We haven't really announced it on the show But we're part of the Sonar Network now

Yeah Which is pretty cool We've we've been buddies with sonar people For quite a while Pretty much since we started We've been We've been friends with them And various people who have shows on Sonar

And there are some incredible shows shows and they do some really cool stuff. So it's really cool to be a part of that now. Yeah. So you might notice as a few changes. We're monetized now. We're running ad. So you might notice that.

That helps us make more show. That helps us do this more and better. We are, we're also stepping into roles as community managers. So, you know, we'll be, we're embracing the podcast life. We're pod maxing. We're pod maxing for sure. Now that's what I call pod maxing.

Hate sand. And it's just a very exciting time. There might be a few changes here and there. We apologize if there's any hiccups for changing hosts, but I don't think so. I think the transition has been pretty smooth. But if you notice that like, you know, things aren't going up in the way that they usually do, that'll all, we've been told about a month is like the time it takes to sort of like get through the hiccups of a transition. So bear with us while we move homes.

And stay tuned for all the fun and exciting stuff that comes along with being a part of the SORI network. Yeah. We appreciate you. And if you want to support us more, please join us on Patreon. Please tell a friend. Please share us. Please like and repost any of our videos and or posts.

We always appreciate it. And excitingly, we are nominated for a Quill podcast award right now. And it is open for public voting. So please go look up Quill Podcast Awards. Give Fuck Buddies a little vote on. under health and wellness. And we would really appreciate that. You can also both for our friends.

You wanted this while you're at it because they're pretty cool. Thank you. Yeah. Want some bad sex, Arlington? Yeah. Do you want to thank our friend? I think Josh Eagle and the Harvest Is for the Song Paper Stars.

Have I not done that in months? I don't know. I just thought about that too as well. I was like, man, have we not been thanking Josh Eagle? Josh. Josh.

Did I, Josh? Did I? Mr. Eagle. Look, man. It's been a, it's been a couple. It's been a year, man.

Man. He's got our money already. It's fine. Yeah, I'm sorry, Josh. And hey, I'm sorry to the Hara Cities as well. Yeah. Yeah. Ready? Yep. Suki had an impulse to peel up her cocoa brown wool sweater and unfastened her bra and give this dying man her perky breasts to suck. But she already had Ed Parsley in her life and one wry intelligent sufferer at a time was enough. Still, Suki's nipples had gone erect beneath her sweater and awareness of her healing powers of being for any man, a garden stocked with antidotes and palliatives. Her ariel was tingled. As when once babies needed her milk or as when she and Jane and Lexa raised the cone of power and a chilly thrill moved through her bone. Jesus, that senses just keeps going. I'm ending it.

Yeah, that's, that's a something. I look, despite everything that was said in there, it fucking kicks ass that there's a man named Ed Parsley in this book. I know. I know. I don't care about anything that's being written other than I need to know everything about Ed Parsley. Ed Parsley is a G, clearly. Yeah. Such a good name. New Pathfinder character. Yeah.

My name is Day Miller. And I'm Ed Parsley. Damn it. Gotcha, Dan. Fuck. God damn. And we've been your fuck buddies. Feels good to win.