F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 115 - Anal Mom (Step Mother Edition)

Episode Date: December 14, 2020

Stop what you're doing right now and go enter our Sexmas Giveaway!  Contest ends December 17th 2020, so get going!  Links are found further below.  Topics include celebrating a dead abuser, being a sober dater, how to absolutely not connect with teens, the detriments of condoms, recovering from an accident, wanting it rougher. ENTER THE SEXMAS GIVEAWAY: https://www.facebook.com/fckbuddiespodcast/posts/1314934288840772 https://twitter.com/Fck_Buddies/status/1337182382550634501 https://www.instagram.com/p/CIoGISYg7VM/  

I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. Hello friends, my name is Dan Miller. And I'm Mal Spain. And we're your fuck buddies. We are a dating and sex advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations and we

flip them around and turn them into sexy, sticky situations. Situations? Situations, yeah. Yeah, simply put, we are a sex and dating advice podcast where we find questions either online or from our lovely listeners and we answer them for you. I was about to sing It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas Again and then I realized that I did that last week. Did you?

I'm pretty sure because then you were like, oh, it's a good segue and then we went into the Hallmark thing. Ah. But nothing's better like an introduction to a podcast where you reference the introduction to the podcast last week. Badly, apparently too. I can't remember it. Should we just jump in?

I feel like we should because we've been on a roll where we haven't answered a whole lot of questions recently. And that's not to say that it's a bad thing. We've had some pretty good chats about the questions. But I feel like we should just, like, let's just do another, like, rapid fire. Remember we did that a while back? Buckle in, bud. All right, I'm buckled. This is by Miss Leia Orfanella.

Ladies, is it okay to celebrate abuser's death is it okay to burn his photo as my best he wants to do would you help and support her oh boy um i don't i'm not gonna like go into the the varying degrees of like what abuse i think would warrant this um because i think that's a that's a personal thing burning a photo i think there's nothing wrong with that that is a means of catharsis that a lot of people have taken part of for centuries. And fire is like, you know, metaphorically a cleansing... Sure, fire. Yeah. So I don't think that's a problem.

I think you could get into some bad spiritual mojo about celebrating someone's death. And that's not to say that like this guy didn't deserve it or whatever. I think that there is something that can happen to you specifically if you revel in the pain of others, even if you think they deserve it. I think it's a much stronger position to let this be a moment of closure for you and do what you need to do to move on i'm sorry you saying that they're going to like are you getting all like what's the word i'm looking for here i don't know you're you're like saying that they're going to be visited by bad

spiritual energy are you worried they're going to fix the moon no i'm worried that like that kind of negativity that you can bring like it's a quick step to fucking with your mindset you know what i mean and like i know i'm sounding kind of new agey here but i think that i think it's important to like if if you say like every time i don't know every time you submitted a novel and you got a rejection letter if that made you more bitter and proceeded to you know make you hate writing more or you know what i mean like as opposed to sort of using it to fuel your ambition you use it to sort of like embitter yourself i think you've run the same risk where if you start reveling in misery of

people that you think deserve it i think that could put you in a really really shitty headspace yeah and again i think there's there's a difference between like if every time anything bad happened to someone you were happy about it versus if someone who presumably has you know i'm not saying they deserve to die or whatever but like you can still be happy to be rid of them you know it's not like you killed them presumably um and i feel like what i would say is that like yeah celebrate his death if you want you know what i mean like but do it privately do it like the two of you guys light it on fire have a drink hug your friend be there for her don't post about it on facebook don't be like

glad this fucker's dead like don't make it public don't draw other people in because you know i doubt you you know because you're to have to air your abuse and then you're going to come up against people who I think no matter what you say about someone are going to be like, Hey, fuck you. That's my husband, son, uncle, brother, you know, um, who no matter what are never going to be swayed, especially not by a Facebook post. They see when they're grieving. If, if someone's been hurt by someone and they're gone, you can burn the photo and have a drink and, you know, keep it private, but like maybe have it as a healing moment. I don't I just think you cannot make that a public thing because you're just going to

like irk people or sorry, enrage them at their most kind of volatile. Yeah, I agree with what you said. I think I don't think there's anything wrong with using this as a moment to heal what i'm worried about is if if it's a celebration of this guy's death as in like a literal haha he's dead thank god we you know he's gone he suffered blah blah blah and that's like you've used that as a moment to like get closure and that's the way you get closure it might fuck with your perspective on how to get closure in future situations, if that makes sense. Okay.

All right. Do you know what I mean? Kind of, yeah. I feel like, I don't know, for me, my mind never even went to that point. Like, because some people, if they've done something terrible enough, I don't necessarily even think it's wrong

to be like, good, I'm glad he's dead. You know what I mean? So, like, if they feel that way, I think that's fine again in the situation where they've done something terrible which it sounds like it is so like fuck it i think it's from the position of a friend so it's like yeah help and support them and maybe take your advice in and like try to make sure that they are processing that in a more positive way and not using it to become more negative or vindictive or,

you know? So I think like, yeah, I think a good amalgamation of both is like, by all means support them. And this could be a good moment, keep it private and make sure as Dan's concerned about like that, it is moving in a positive light and not just like a descent into more

bitterness or like vindictiveness. Yeah. Yeah. As long as you can focus on like, make this more about the healing and moving on and the closure part of things as opposed to the the dude's death because because the whole point of healing isn't about focusing on the path it's about moving forward that's the key here this one comes from reddit user francesca8899 21 and i don't drink so i've never really been attracted to alcohol it's not an alien concept to me but i personally don't want to do it however the backlash

i face is really hard to deal with it's like people meet me and at first they think i'm this fun outgoing person but the moment they find out i don't drink they start to act like i'm defective and conservative they wince at the idea of drinking around me while i'm perfectly okay with it hell i'll even take care of you when you're drunk and even sober drive you home. I'm not gentlemanly at all. And I try my best to portray that. The first thing guys ask me when they ask me on date is go for a couple of drinks. And when I say no, they either turn into a hookup or don't want to go out with me at all. It's like all people do around me is come over for pre-drinks. Let's do drinks at the club or even best if you don't

drink what do you do how do i overcome all this it really shakes up my confidence to see people's reactions i also struggle to make friends because i often get excluded from events because they are all about alcohol or i just don't want to go because i sit there sipping a soda and get dirty looks for it am i doing something wrong should i start drinking well if you don't want to drink don't drink let's you know let's let's put nip that one in the bud i assume if you wanted to drink you would have by now so no do not start that's a terrible reason to um there's a lot of different parts so i'm going to try to remember what they all were and answer them completely out of order uh i would worry that she isn't as good around drinking as she says she is because I know people that don't drink and they're not not invited to things because they don't drink because it's not a big deal and no one cares.

So either her friends are shit or she's a little bit weirder about drinking than she makes it out to be. And I think that maybe there's a hint of that by or i don't want to go because i just sit there drinking sodas and getting dirty looks and i wonder how much of that is her feeling excluded because she's drinking sodas or if her friends are again so shit that the dirty looks are this kind of like driving force to to keep her at home there's a lot to unpack here but i think one thing that stuck out to me that i want to get out before i forget about it is like if you're talking to a guy and he's like oh I want to go for a few drinks and you say no like don't just say no suggest something else if if the like

problem is that they don't know where to take you afterwards then you take the fucking initiative and you suggest somewhere like it's you know something you've been dealing with for a long time I'm sure so it's like you have an idea of where's a good date. So suggest that instead of leaving the ball in their court. Because I get it. Drinks are a really good first date because they're freeing in a certain sense because people loosen up after a drink. They're not expensive and a weird commitment. They're very social, unlike, say, the movies.

They're a really good midpoint like i've been on coffee dates and they suck because it's like you have a coffee and if it is going well you're like damn it do i have a second coffee like what next yeah it's and like i picked this question because i didn't drink until much later in my life um and i know firsthand how this person feels because like on the flip side of what you said where it's like you know people who don't drink and like they still get invited to shit it's like i remember when i was in high school i was at a party and no one gave a shit because i had a you know a red solo cup it was just like sprite or coke or whatever inside of it but no one knew i

wasn't drinking but the second people found out i wasn't drinking it was like i had like you know done a 90s comedy like scratch the record at the party and put on you know some terrible fucking polka music like everyone got real weird with me after the fact even though everyone was cool with it until they knew it was in my cup yeah so there are like there are people like that and that sucks and that tends to be like people who are really insecure with their relationship with alcohol or any sort of substance, really. So I think maybe you need to like reevaluate who you're hanging out with, because if your friends don't want to spend time with you because you're not drinking, then perhaps they're not the best friends yeah um and it's i don't think it's that difficult to find people who aren't so 100 booze focused like even our group like despite the fact that most of us are bartenders and most of us are you know beer or spirits focused like we all love good beer we all love good drinks i believe the word you're looking for is a connoisseurs i'm kind of

i also wouldn't say that like most of our day, like nights out could be done sober. Yeah, pretty much. And like, even for, for like Pathfinder, you know,

like we meet up every Monday and we play, uh, uh, like it's basically D and D and, uh, half the time, um, most,

at least half the people aren't drinking, you know, it's rare. We all are. And, uh, even when it is, it's like maybe three or four beers you know nothing dramatic and considering we play for like six or seven hours um they're all pretty you know chill so yeah you'll definitely i think be able to find like there's people that take alcohol really seriously and i come from ireland so i know this

um and some people yeah like they they just can't stand to be around someone sober. And I think it's because it makes them think about how they're acting. Because you're not drunk. In your eyes, they have to then consider how they're acting. And I think that puts them outside of themselves. And all of a sudden, this like weird freeing, like shame-free thing that they're doing, they actually have to think about how they're acting, which kind of the point wasn't there. Or they realize that they're doing they actually have to think about how they're acting which kind of the point wasn't there or they realize that they're doing dumb shit um yeah so like what dane said it kind of gets the self-conscious people um but you can find people where alcohol

isn't kind of the be-all and end-all like that you know if you're in university yeah i assume most of the people are like pre-drinks and then out and great my my you know life hack was when i would go to a party if someone was like oh hey you want to drink like can i get you a drink i'd be like oh no it's cool i got my own i would never say i'm not drinking yeah and it's not that like i was lying or anything i was just like it's just something that's very easily like once you don't make it a thing no one really gives a shit because if you've got it like i said like if you've got a cup and someone's like do you need a shot or something you're like no i'm good i got a drink that's all you need to say you don't have to be like oh no thank you i don't drink because you're you're

opening the door and while i think you know there is something to be said about like not having to hide who you are blah blah blah but you know you know it's a problem you know it like triggers people for whatever reason so just don't bring it up nothing's gonna change you're still the same person they're still the same people So just don't bring it up. Nothing's going to change. You're still the same person. They're still the same people. You just don't have to deal with like the weird social awkwardness of not drinking. You literally just as long as you have a drink in your hand, just be like, yeah, it's good. It's cool.

I got one. Thank you. One's like, hey, do a shot. You can just be like, I don't do shots. You know, like specifically, I do not as someone who drinks like it takes some arm twisting for me to do a shot with people um and i don't think there's anything wrong with that because shots arguably are just there to fuck you up yeah 100 um i do definitely do shots by the way i i mean i say that but it's like from doing shot oh yeah i specifically make you do shots dane the thing

yeah it's like i go with the intention of not doing shots. And then the next thing you know, it's like a shot appears. I'm like, OK, I'll do this one. Yeah. It's just fucking bad, bad news. Still, though, I feel like you're pretty good at it. But on one hand, I think a lot of why people might get weird about you not drinking is like there's almost a presumed reason. In most media, when you see someone not drinking, it's for a very specific reason. You know what I mean? So like, if you're dealing with

like addiction or whatever, and all of a sudden, like you're then kind of either forced to explain like, oh, I don't drink because of X, Y, or Z, which is an awkward, weird conversation to just kind of like throw out there, or you don't say anything. And then they and then they're like oh damn did she have like a really bad experience with alcohol or like is it a religious thing or you know and then that curiosity mixed with the fact that they're often like really personal uh subjects means that they can't ask you and then they don't know if it's offensive to drink around you like is it a temptation is it like are you looking down on them because you find it religiously reprehensible or you know whatever so there's so much room for kind of like misapprehensions there which either you explain every fucking time you talk to someone which is never going to happen or they're left being like

should we invite her is it bad you know so yeah i think that's just something to consider as well like not everybody who's weird about it. They might be trying to be nice. They might be like, I don't want to offend her, you know? So, yeah. Or they might think you're pregnant and they're like,

well, I was going to say, that's like the, you know, the sitcom reason is always, Oh, that character casually declining a drink at the beginning of the episode. Guess who's pregnant at the end of it.

Growing up in Ireland, everyone's like, if you decline to drink, they're like, she'stime pregnant but yeah so just i guess i think very specifically with regard to dates it's on you then to suggest an alternate place you know what i mean don't let this be a problem because you can fix it quite easily and i wouldn't be pissed off that you're like oh i've got an idea it takes the like weight off them so just being like no drinks and like dead face staring at them until they come up with something i don't think that's a good approach also like don't feel

like you can if you really want to like bring it up like you can also be like yeah i have no problem like meeting for drinks just so you know i don't actually drink but like i don't mind going and have a club suitable you have a like a pint and chatting over drinks like that's not a problem for me i like when i used to not drink i would i would 100 just like meet people for drinks and then order a non-alcoholic drink or find a place that has you know like good apps or good desserts and be like how about this we go you can have a drink but i'm gonna have this dessert and like then it won't seem like they're putting you out you know what i mean because i'm sure they don't want to just be there like having you awkwardly sip a club soda while they drink because to a lot of people that would sound like torture um so if you give them like a positive

and again for yourself too if you find a place you're happy to go to because there's another reason like maybe oh this place a video game bar i don't mind playing these games with you and you can have a drink or they do good dessert or it's free popcorn or whatever find out a place that has like cool live music or something like exactly right then they won't be as weird and again if they're still weird it's probably an indication you don't want to date them and if they chill out then they probably were just concerned that you wouldn't be having a good time which again that's fair and nice yeah two two of the places i used to go when i didn't drink was there was a place that used to do really really good desserts i mean they still do i think i'm pretty sure they're still open and we would go for cake

uh because you know awesome we've talked about this bunch of times and two there's a place that did live music every night in toronto and i would go there and be like hey let's go watch some live music yeah and when you're like kind of standing and watching something, people are less focused on what you're doing. So if like, if you go up, and what I used to do was, and it's a little easier, I guess, as a dude,

I'd be like, hey, what do you want to drink? They would tell me, I would go to the bar and be like, hey, can I get a whatever? And then can I also get, you know, a rocks glass with Coke in it? And if you go back with a drink, no one's going to like sniff and be like, wait a minute. There's no alcohol in here. And that was like, that was my tactic.

Just be like, I would just sip what looked like, you know, a Ryan Coke or whatever. And they would drink whatever they were drinking. And no one gave a shit. Yeah. Also, maybe find a place that does good non-alcoholic cocktails. Because some places actually have like legitimate menus for that shit also these days there's the uh like there's actually bottles of non-alcoholic spirits you can buy which i haven't tried but they sound kind of interesting for non-drinkers so yeah i mean even non-alcoholic beer has actually gotten

fairly decent yeah a lot of craft places now do their own version so maybe you can hit up a brewery if they're into beer and you can try some non-alcoholic shit you know what do you what do you feel in dane you know you know what i'm feeling and i want you to do it right now okay this is by throwaway i don't know 7293 my 18 year old female stepmom keeps telling me intimate details about her and my father's sex life the title that's all don't want to be too graphic in my description but she tells me really intimate things and it's disgusting for example your dad's been begging me for anal and i finally let him insert even worse details here i don't this is all capitals i don't need to know that i don't want to know that ew and yes i tried telling her but she won't shut up about it i literally made

gagging noises while she was telling me but she won't take the hint to shut up she always does this but really got out of hand since i got back home she seriously has a problem once we were at a family dinner and the whole with her whole family i was putting the dish in the kitchen and she happened to be there and she randomly like out of nowhere told me something disgusting like that okay yes this is absolutely a crossing of the line chances are a stepmom she's trying to relate to you and she's just doing a really fucking bad job honestly i don't think she is because it's such a bad job i disagree i feel like she's trying to get you know the way it's the old classic movie where it's like the teens try to get rid of the mom's new interest

or the dad's new interest or whatever yeah maybe doing the opposite she teens try to get rid of the mom's new interest or the dad's new interest or whatever yeah maybe he's doing the opposite she's trying to get rid of the kids it's her first parent trap exactly yeah i mean maybe maybe i'd like i again i guess like i'd really like know if there's an age different like i'd like to know if she's significantly younger than the father i would you know what I mean? Okay. Yeah. So yeah, I'm assuming that like the step-mom is probably closer to the daughter's age than the dad's age.

Maybe let's see the step-mom's 21. Well, if she literally just thinks they're friends and you know, like friends, like talk about their relationships and she just doesn't get it. Well, that's what I mean. I like,

I think that is a very viable reason it's like and it's sort of like a panic default to be like i need to connect with my this this teenager and i don't know what tiktok is so here's you know this here's my anal adventures with your dad like you definitely need to sit down and just be like you really need to lay it down be like, you really need to lay it down and be like, this is really, really upsetting. It's causing mental distress for me. Please stop. Because I think a lot of people approach these situations with a little bit of comedy. Like if you were like gagging, that could be, you know, I mean, like I've heard women at the bar tell a story about sex and then being like, but also be laughing. Yeah.

Maybe they think you're like gagging with them not gagging at them um i did delve into the comments she is 48 back to the drawing board yep no okay we fucked that one up well now it's the opposite but the same so she's so out of touch she thinks this is how you hang with the teens right she probably doesn't even know what anal is she thinks it's some sort of app yeah she saw it on an episode of family guy and she's like this is what them teens like oh my god brand new invention what if it's actually like she thinks it's an app it's like a she thinks it's like a food delivery service yeah Yeah. Oh my God. Or she's mispronouncing something.

Yeah. I think like this is the kind of situation where dancing around the subject isn't like, fuck it. Don't, don't gag and help her to get the hint. Literally say, Hey, that I really don't want to hear this. We need to have a barrier. And the barrier is talking about your sex life with my dad. I feel like that's pretty appropriate. And if alternatively go to your dad, cause I'm pretty sure he does not want you to know any of this.

Yeah, I was going to say that's step two. Because if you talk to her and she's like, fuck it, he also rimmed me. You need to just be like, all right, I'm going to go talk to Bernard. And then be like, yo, Bernard. And he's like, whoa, you never call me by my first name unless I'm in trouble. And she's like, yeah, you are in trouble. And he's probably going to die on the spot when you tell him this oh fuck that's the whole plan wasn't it kill the dad get the inheritance she got you she fucking played us like a fiddle she knew when he hears his daughter repeat the words sharon rimmed you it's just gonna

fully murder him he'll just crawl inside like he'll just put his hands into his mouth and then just keep crawling into his own mouth until he disappears yeah yeah but yeah i do think you do have to tell the dad then afterwards because like i doubt he fucking wants that and then let him talk to her and then if she still continues both of you tell her to get the fuck out yeah i i mean like alternatively what you should do is like start a twitter account of like you know shit my stepmom says or just send them to us we'll fucking retweet it happily that could be our new thing would be stuff my stepmom says saturdays yeah you need to you need to sit her down and just like again no sort

of like giggly girl talk this is sort of like you got to put your big girl pants need to sit her down and just like, again, no sort of like giggly girl talk. This is sort of like, you got to put your big girl pants on and sit her down and be like, this is crossing the line. It needs to stop. And, you know, if she doesn't, it's, it's dad time. This comes from Reddit user love each day. Does sex with a condom really suck? My boyfriend refuses to wear a condom because he says that he can't come with it on. But the problem is that I'm not on birth control and he's not even good at pulling out.

I took plan B three times in the last few days. Is taking plan B too often dangerous? As for condoms, I've never been with anyone else. So like, I don't know if he's being serious or not. Yeah. If that's actually the case for him. I always grew up thinking you could only take plan B like five times in your life, like max. There was a ceiling on it. The more you took it, the more chance you had of permanently hurting yourself.

But I did just look it up, and apparently it's fine. Oh, I didn't know that. I actually thought it was different. It seems to be that it is not technically medically harmful to take it as many times times you want. On the flip side, I still don't think that's a good plan because it is expensive, firstly. And secondly, it's like quite often they can have pretty bad, like not serious or long lasting things,

but it can induce like nausea and just make you feel like crap for however long after you've taken it. so not a good plan it is emergency contraception and should be used as such so that's one thing yeah relying on plan b as your plan a is not a good idea it's also like it's right there in the name yeah um even if he was good at pulling out which like the fact that he isn't is just terrible like like this guy is like a family guy character of like bad teen male. You know what I mean? Like he's,

he's just such a caricature of the genre where it's like, Oh, I can't call my condoms. Oops. I just came inside you. Lol. Go get plan B. Like I bet he doesn't even fucking pay for it.

It's like, no, absolutely not. 100%. He does not. So fuck this guy. And by that not 100 he does not so fuck this guy and by that i mean do not fuck this guy yes wearing a condom is going to lessen the the sensation that you feel does it lessen it to a dramatic amount no if it does he is either getting

in his own head about it using a condom wrong or using the wrong kind of condom we've covered this before make sure it's the right size Make sure you are not using too little or too much lubrication. Yeah, it's one of those things. Like if you want to use protection, there is no reason why you should be having sex without it. This is like not one of those things where it's, oh, we didn't come to, so I'm going to compromise.

No, no. Like what you need to do for a safe sex, whatever that means to you is not a one or the other. You know what I mean? It's either you're doing it or you're not having sex. And that's the way it should be, especially when it comes to protection or, you know, whatever means you're doing. And the whole concept of like, he's not good at pulling out. The guy doesn't care.

Yeah. And that alone should be enough to show you that like he is prioritizing his sexual pleasure over. Like you said, there are side effects to plan B. So he doesn't care that you're going to feel like shit the next day or because he can't. Quite frankly, because like, again, he doesn't give a shit. Like all these things he's doing, it's just like whatever. And also, it didn't even matter if he was good at pulling out because that's no guarantee either. No,

I mean, no, it's just once again, state the pullout method is not contraception. It's wishful thinking. Yeah. You, you really,

really need to, like I said, if you want to stay in a relationship with this guy, have a conversation and be like, Hey, we are not going to have sex. I'm not taking plan B anymore. Unless it's like you said,

an emergency. We're going to have sex with a'm not taking Plan B anymore unless it's, like you said, an emergency. We're going to have sex with a condom. And if he's like, no, I can't come with it on. It's like, well, then, sorry, then you're also not going to come because we're not going to have sex. Maybe refer him to a doctor. Again, like, do have a look at the condom situation.

Make sure he is using it appropriately. The right type. You know, not too much or too little lube, etc. But then if you can't come with a condom on, there's probably something wrong and you should go to a doctor. Like, it's not a natural thing. People. I could almost promise you that they have never had sex with a condom. Oh, yeah, it's bullshit.

We all know it's bullshit, but I don't want to be the one guy that completely throws someone's issue out the window in the one time it is. You know, if something is going on, by all means, like you and him should both want to get to the bottom of it. And if it is bullshit, then he won't care. And it's like, how many times have you come during sex? You didn't mention it, but like, let's just let's broze that subject. Because like, if you're not coming, then like there's a whole lot of situation that you need to address in terms of your sexual uh you know relationship him not coming because of a condom is nine times out of ten bullshit i don't know why the whole like sex doesn't feel good without with a condom on like ever really became sort of an acceptable societal norm but it did and it fucking

sucks it's a problem that he is fabricating and can deal with and he's putting he's lying to you effectively to fuck you over that's basically it stick to your guns if he is willing to reach your standards which

should not be shifted then sure maybe give him a second chance. If not, fucking throw him away. Yeah, because I promise you there are plenty of dudes who want to have sex and will happily wear a condom in order to do so. Yes, like it's not even a big fucking ask. No, not at all. This is by YellowStickyNote99.

My 45-year-old male wife, 43-year-old female, is upset that I tore my ACL playing a sport I love and plan to play for the next 10 to 15 years. She says I'm being selfish and will be really upset if I continue to play once I am healthy. I play lacrosse once a week in an over-40s league with a group of guys who become my friends over the years. It's not overly physical, no hard checks, everyone understands we aren't pros, etc., and my injury was a bit of a fluke. Wife and children have been supportive since my surgery, being very helpful, getting things around the house, driving the kids, etc. My wife is making it clear she will be mad at me if I have another debilitating injury like this in the future and I should pick up golf or something

safer. I can't predict whether I'll get hurt again playing lacrosse, but I know I don't want to live my life in fear of a potential injury. I'm being selfish and should I change my goals slash pick a new passion? Is my wife being unreasonable and not loving me for who I am when she knows how much joy I get out of playing this sport? This is a tough one because I see both sides of it. I don't think it is fair to ask someone like, you know, like if this was a car accident if he got t-boned because someone ran a red would she be like you're never allowed to drive ever again you know what i mean like if he was doing something fucking stupid if he was like i'm gonna get on a snowmobile and do or like

a motorbike and do jumps in the fucking you know boonie somewhere and hurt himself because he was being a dumb ass, then like, yeah, I could get, I could get her being like, Hey, I don't want you doing that anymore. But if you're doing something that is one great for your mental health and two at that age, great for your physical health. Like lacrosse is not an easy sport. You're running around, you're constantly moving. It is pretty much, you know, running hockey and it's great cardio. It's great full body workout. It's a community and it's a sort of, you know, running hockey. Yeah. And it's great cardio. It's great full body workout. It's a community and it's a sort of, you know, teamwork thing.

Like all those things are really, really important, especially as you get older. I think it's a social circle too. Yeah. So to, to ask someone to give up, um, a hobby, a means of physical and mental health, a social circle. Like that's a lot to give up because of an accident. I completely agree. Like you can understand that I'm sure it comes from concern for him and the family and probably a little bit of being pissed that she has to do everything right now while he's, you

know, out of uh commission all of which are totally reasonable i really don't think it's fair to be like i will be angry if uh you get injured again especially when like injuries can happen for anything like legitimately i fucked my back up the other day getting out of bed i'd like it really hurt it still got a sore and it's like if someone was like i'm gonna fucking hate you if if you go over on your ankle or like slip in the snow or you know because it can happen from anything really and again like once you're not being once you're not being unreasonably unsafe you should be allowed to do something that is reasonably safe which yeah it sounds like this is and also as you

said the the irony is that this is giving him so many more health benefits that taking it away is probably going to lead to a lot more problems that's the thing it's like with and i get it like an acl injury is an easy repeat injury like once you tear it it is pretty easy to do it again um because it's a it's a delicate it's a delicate injury i get it but at the same time it's like golf and that kind of stuff while yes it takes you know some sort of athleticism it's not cardio focused you literally don't even walk you just drive from thing to thing swing your club and move on it's a reason like trump can do it you know like name one other fucking sport he

can do yeah he can't even bowl because he can't fit his fingers in the fucking um so i i think it's yeah i i think what you're asking him to do is like if he moves to a safer sport i don't know what that is again like unless you're doing things that aren't athletic, which it seems to be counterintuitive to what he's trying to do. Like even if you picked up bowling, like you can still fuck yourself up bowling. I, you know, I will actually tell you this pretty much every time I've ever gone

bowling, I've hurt myself. Also like sports aren't sports. You know what I mean? Not every sport is the same. It's not just like he needed to take a box called sports, but lacrosse is wildly different to basketball is wildly different to you know soccer which is why people have sports they like you know what i mean yeah i mean like oh you're into mma do golf now

and the other thing is like he could have torn his acl like jogging which is arguably one of like the most fundamental you fundamental forms of exercise because we're all capable of doing it. Well, I don't want to seem ableist, but if you're able to walk, you can run, presumably. Again, I feel like I'm... That's just not right, but okay. I know, I know.

I'm trying my best not to be ableist here, but if he's performing in active sports like this, there's really nothing he could be doing where an injury like this couldn't happen. Yeah. Again, I box with little to no contact and I've fucked my tendons and my shoulders up so bad. Yeah. And that's it's literally me just punching a bag. Yeah. So that's the thing. It's like injuries are going to happen regardless, especially as you grow older. And the irony is him doing this is probably going to make him less likely to get a debilitating injury from something else. So what's your advice?

My advice is hopefully she is kind of swept up in this at the moment. You know what I mean? Like it's easy to be like angry while it's still ongoing, you know? And I'm hoping it's like a reaction to it being a surprise and her being upset and concerned and also annoyed that she now has all this other shit kind of,

because I'm sure her life's quite difficult right now if he's out of commission. All very understandable. And I think it would do well for him to understand where she's coming from in those regards and maybe talk to her about each section.

You know what I mean? Because it's all combining to have one thing, but like they're very different emotions coming from very different places. I think for him, very importantly, he has to talk to a physio and see if playing again is recommended at all. Because if it's not, then problem solved. You know what i mean and yeah if you go and injure yourself without taking the proper care then i think that she has kind of a right to be angry at like don't be flippant about your position make sure you do your physio and your exercises get yourself back up to scratch because like i'm sure you don't want it to happen

as well that's a great point i didn't even think about like talking to a physio and being like hey what are the odds of this happening again because they're like hey it's 90 percent yeah like there's you're almost if you go back to playing lacrosse you are almost 100 going to do it again in which case she's got a point and you've got to listen to her yeah exactly because like as much as you love your sport like and not playing it will suck also like not being able to play with your kids or you know get around would suck if it's avoidable. So talk to him. Also, if he's like, oh, this happens, it's not a big deal, that'll probably soothe her quite a bit. So that's kind of a win-win situation in terms of

talking to her and figuring it out for yourself. I do not think you're being selfish in wanting to play again. And I do think if it is recommended, or at least, you know, find that you do it, that you should keep doing it. I do think if, if there is no issue that it is a little unreasonable and maybe let her know that accidents can happen in all these things that you're not necessarily into golf and it's not a substitute and that, you know, there are benefits such as being active and fit and healthy and, you know, your friends. So maybe just, you know, assure her that you will take all the precautions that you can. But also like, it's super shitty having the ultimatum or like the punishment hanging over you that like, if you get injured, I'll be angry because it's kind of out of your control so you can't really i don't think you should ever leave it at a point where she's like fine go back but if you're injured i'm gonna be pissed because that's in the back of your head and i think that'll probably make you get injured you know i don't know enough about lacrosse but like maybe there's a position you can play that you know is a little Again, like, I don't know anything about it,

but I think everything you said, spot on. And like, maybe even bring her into a physio appointment and be like, my wife is very worried about these things. Can we discuss the possibilities of re-injury? Can we discuss some physio things? What can I do to sort of, you know, increase the chances of this not happening again? Maybe you gotta wear a brace or, you know. Yeah, or, tape up or something like a lot of those things can help.

Like I have friends who fucking do rugby who have torn their ACLs and still play. And it's like very much fully, you know, a contact sport and they've gotten back in there, you know. So it can be done. But again, seek medical approval and and guidance firstly and foremostly. And then from then on, I don't think you should compromise necessarily. Sorry, not compromise, but I don't think you should give up on your passion. I think, like Dane said, there might be options to compromise, but try talking it out. Try to get medical advice and bring your wife in on it and and move forward once she's cooled off a

little bit from the current situation because that was i wanted to add that extra little bit and be like give it a week for once you're healed and be like hey i would really like to go back here are the reasons why here's my supporting evidence i know you were upset and i know you were concerned but this will have a serious detriment to both my mental and physical health if I don't go back. I will be, you know, so unhappy. Yeah, like if I was dating someone and they were like, you can't go climbing,

I would be like, what do I do? That Wednesday night where you're just kind of like puttering around the house, wishing you were somewhere else, like that's not going to be a good environment for your relationship. Yeah, you're not going to be pleasant to be around, like as best you try,

you know what I mean? Um, just, so just, you guys got to talk it out, but I think we've given a decent roadmap there. Um, this comes from Reddit user throwaway sex Q S one.

Help me tell my husband. I like him rougher. Hey, um, Jerome, uh, she likes it rougher. Next question. I'm 30-year-old female and my husband is 30-year-old male. Been together seven years.

Great relationship. Due to my history, I have trouble vocalizing what I want in general. She mentions this a few times and I have no idea what she means. Okay. Sex has always been great and enjoyable. This year, I have been working from home almost all the time. I has always been quite, are great and enjoyable this year. I have been working from home almost all the time. I've also been watching a lot of porn.

I've always enjoyed my partners being rough with me, like choking, slapping my ass, pushing me down, et cetera. However, sex with my husband has never been that rut. I know that the answer is to talk to him,

but honestly, I'm so bad at having these conversations. They're watching more and more porn this year. I've really gotten into rough dominant sex. I feel like it's been too long for me to now just say, oh, by the way, I like being choked. I've tried being extra enthusiastic when he's a bit more dominant to show how much I like it.

I know it's pathetic that I can't say what I want, but honestly, past relationships and other stuff mean I really struggle. Oh man, because like, again, you just kind of got to talk to him. And the funny part is, she's like, oh, it's been too long. No, that's good. me and i really struggle oh man because like again you just kind of gotta talk to him and the art the funny part is she's like oh it's been too long no it's that's good you've been together so long you know each other you're comfortable with each other like taking something to the next step is

far easier than starting the walk entirely like it would be worse if he was really rough with you and you didn't like it for seven years and then then you're like, yeah. Oh, Hey, by the way, I actually hate this. Yes. That would be a way worse situation. As opposed to now. It's like after seven years of sex with the same person, presumably you're in a monogamous relationship to then be like, you,

even if you want to pose it as like, you want to try something new. Like it's pretty common for people to introduce, like, you know, spicing it up in the bedroom after a prolonged period of togetherness like it's it's almost encouraged so i don't know why you really need to worry about him being like wait did you want over this past seven years have you always wanted

to be choked i don't like i don't think you have to worry about that yeah if you if you just bring it up with being like can we try this the the block here is her saying that she's bad at doing that she hasn't really given reasons why presumably you know she's tried it before in the past and it went poorly it's like all i can really gather so like what would i have a few suggestions we need some non-traditional ways to do it is what you're saying okay well how about this you start to have sex and while he's having sex with you you reach to your bedside table and you pull over the last eighth of your bagel that you left there earlier and you put it in your mouth and then you and then you start to choke on it and then when he gets concerned you you look at him and you're

still choking but you hold up a finger and you look quizzical and then you look happy and you motion for him to keep going and then when you finish you go hey that felt really good and when he starts being like oh man i don't know if we can always have a bagel just lying there he's like i think we have a better way and then you've broached it he sees how good it is you haven't really really had to talk about it, right? Now, you know those are two different kinds of joking, right? I do, but this is... I tried really hard, and I don't think there's a way you can fit a bagel around your neck in the sexy way.

Incorrect. Novelty-sized bagel. Damn it. It's over. I'm retiring. I should have thought about the novelty bagels um now for real though i think maybe if like there are a few different mini workarounds i'm gonna throw some out you can then throw out your ideas maybe text him

you know what i mean like maybe get in like a dirty talk situation where like you're like hey can't wait till you get home from work or even if you're in the same room just be like fucking send the text like i'm gonna fuck you later or something right like play a little game maybe it'll be easier to just text being like i want you to choke me or something because it won't be the traditional way it'll be in this kind of like sexy game and maybe that'll be easier or like leave a note you know what i mean or if it's not strictly choking like let's say you want to be spanked maybe buy a paddle or something and like give it to him right and that's you're you're telling and you're asking and you're suggesting but you're not opening your mouth and going hi

there bernard is this is obviously written by the the anal stepmom uh hi there bernard this is what we're gonna do maybe maybe that's it maybe stepmom from earlier there, Bernard. This is what I'm going to do. Maybe that's it. Maybe stepmom from earlier question hadn't actually had anal, but wanted to have anal and was practicing opening up about it on the daughter. I really don't like the phrase wanted to anal

opening up on the daughter phrase. I feel like that phrasing is troubling to me. Pornh would disagree i so you you hit what i was going to suggest where by yourself or put on your sexiest lingerie maybe get in you know some sort of like submissive outfit um i i'm hesitant to say like a school girl outfit. Cause I like the age play might turn some people off. Um, but you know, get a, get a, a really sexy outfit, get a whip or a paddle or a, you know, a, you know, cat of nine tails, at least something that you can fucking.

And the next time it starts getting hot and heavy bend yourself over the bed hand him the whip and i think he will be able to put two and two together and i like me personally that would be really fucking exciting a hundred percent and also like if you you don't even need to like if you even get him anywhere near what you want, you can have a very simple conversation with him, which goes like this harder. You know what I mean? Like, even if he's like near the door,

you like, you can direct him quite well into something without having to have this dreaded conversation. Also maybe sit him down and ask him what he wants to do. Ask him if there's anything new he wants to do. And then maybe when you're done talking with him about that he might be like what about you that might be easier or maybe he'll bring it up himself um oh the other thing i wanted to bring up is watch the porn that you're watching with him like maybe don't start with the extreme stuff like it might

be a bit jarring to be like hey here's this woman getting face fucked by like nine dudes and, you know, just absolutely abused like that might be a bit jarring. But like if you have a favorite like spanking video or something that you think might be like a nice gateway to rough sex while you guys are lying in bed, be like, hey, I want to show you something like I want to watch something with you and put it on your phone or your laptop or whatever. And, you know, maybe jerk them off or something while you're watching or pause it at some point and be like, no, do that to me. Yeah, that's the thing. If you guys are comfortable watching porn together, 100%, there's so many ways to do this. But also you should really try to see it through. And maybe it's uncomfortable or hard for you,

but you should really try to get to the point where you can talk about this because dancing around the issue isn't optimal. You're eventually going to have to talk about something. Also, the rougher stuff is definitely the kind of thing you're going to need communication for because you need to be sure you're doing what each person wants. It's dangerous to do without proper communication. Absolutely. I think that's really where you need to aim. I think you really need to just sort of like, I said it before, put your big girl pants on and take a deep breath and have this conversation with them. And I think you will be surprised at how eager a good partner will be to please you. How about starting the conversation by mentioning

safe words? By being like, hey, what would your safe word, or like conversation by mentioning safe words by being like hey what would your safe word or like we should get safe words or what would your safe word be and then if he's like well why would we need that you could be like well what if we tried x or y and if he goes yeah that'd be great or like he could be like well i don't know and you'd be like well i wouldn't mind it something like that you know very easy you don't have to just be like, well, I don't know. And you'd be like, well, I wouldn't mind it. Something like that. You know, very easy. You don't have to just be like, hello, sit down. I would like you to spank and choke me. You know, like you can go through it a bunch of different ways. Treat this as a moment to be playful with your partner.

We tend to, especially in a relationship as long as yours, we tend to sort of like lose the playfulness. It doesn't necessarily be a bad thing but there there sometimes is that loss of what's the word i'm looking for sort of discovery because when you're with someone for seven years you get a pretty good grasp on them and the idea that like after seven years you guys can still learn something or discover something or try something new with your partner that should be something that you should be eager to embrace and like i said if this dude is as good as you think like you're saying he is you say you have a great relationship this should be something that you should be eager to embrace. And like I said, if this dude is as good as you think, like you're saying he is, you say you have a great relationship. This should be a really cool turning point and, you know, could be the spark for another seven years.

So good luck. I really hope you I really hope you're able to sort of, you know, take the take the leap and talk to him as opposed to using our sort of, know subverted sneaky espionage tactics all right should we move on to some tindering i think so i'm just gonna start from the left and move right this is so i guess this is our tinder uh profile review section we basically point out some red flags this is by agent valiant heart and this is this is M. You. Mobile. No children. Not married. All the way straight. Live on your own.

No roommates. Bonus, you have a fur baby. What does mobile mean? There is a car emoji next to it. Sorry, I should have said that. Okay, so they're looking for someone with a car. Yes. People, like, I get it if, like, you live out in the middle of fucking nowhere but like

why would you care if someone has a car in the city i can only assume that like you suck and don't like well firstly this person definitely sucks like the bi erasure get the fuck out of here but like i assume it's just like they don't have a place or they're very lazy and they want you to pick them up and like have sex in your car or something. I don't know. Either way, anytime I see it, it's a definite turnoff for me. Yeah. Anytime anyone makes it like a demand of like where you should be, quote unquote, in your life. Have you lived in fucking Toronto? No roommates? Yeah. I'm sorry. Like, yeah, I know they're like single people can have their own space, but like

it's fucking expensive everywhere. So I don't know what your situation is. If you're living without a roommate. Hey, good for you. But chances are, if you've just moved like there's a part of me where I'm terrified that if I ever have to move out, like the fuck am I going to do? I can't afford like I live in a one bedroom apartment right now and it's almost two thousand dollars a month yeah it's fucked i totally agree uh this is and the the fucking irony is i bet you anything this person has none of these things i bet this person

is probably unemployed probably lives with three roommates uh you know there's also a star next to not married but there's no footnote anywhere that explains that. So I don't know if they're like not married wink. Like, what does that mean? And either like, you know, like the not an actual like emoji star, just a little. Yeah, like the asterisk. Either way, fuck this person. Zero out of 10.

Yeah, I'm going to give you a zero as well. This is waning. I'm a boss ass business bitch who is smarter and funnier than you'll ever be. So check your ego before you check me out because I will roast the hell out of you. Just looking for a nice virgin to marry. Angel face. I describe my body type as tall and delicious. Warning 5-9.

Areas of strength. Can pick up bowls with my mouth only. Is very good at swallowing large pills. Areas for improvement. Doesn't know how to chill well isn't that right yeah that's don't have to tell us that i get that people i like i'm trying to really relax on the like boss ass business bitch because like i get it it's you know it's an energy of empowerment that you're trying but like like the people who are actually boss ass business bitches don't

need to declare it i feel like that like that it's it's the people like it's the same sort of idea of like the people who have power don't need to declare they have power well like imagine if you were on your tinder profile like being like i'm a badass cool bad boy like that would be the number one indicator that you are the furthest thing from those things you know what i mean yeah i mean it's like anytime anyone's like do you know who i am yeah like the amount of times people will pull that card or like do you know who that guy is when i like cut people off at the bar it's like i don't give a fuck because like obviously i don't yeah and if he was important enough for me to need to i probably would have yeah um yeah and also the whole

aggressive i'm smarter funnier than you'll ever be what like cool i guess again yeah it's like do you really want a partner that you like you want to trump that hard yeah but like you're gonna be you're an idiot and you're not funny unless you think you're the smartest and funniest person that's not a correct statement either um it's just such an aggressive weirdly insecure energy that like i do not like like the only thing i enjoy in there is like the part where she's like i'll roast the hell out of you it's like okay that's fine like i'm cool with that energy like if you want to get into a like some of the one of the best dates i ever went on on Tinder or Bumble I can't remember was me and this other

woman just insulting the shit out of each other like just going to town and then by the end of it like I was laughing so hard like it was actual like real laughter on my phone I was just like okay I you know like let's get drinks like we have

to at this point and it was a great day it was it was so much fun I was just like, okay, let's get drinks. We have to at this point. And it was a great day. It was so much fun. Yeah. I don't know. I'm giving this also. This is getting a one because it's not as bad as the other one, but it's pretty bad.

It's going to get a three for me. Okay. Fair enough. This is Vivian. Is it weird that I'm into that name? Please tell me you're a Scorpio. Well, I regret that already. Please tell me you're a Scorpio. Is that it regret that already. Please tell me you're a Scorpio.

Is that it? That's it. I mean, it's a simple demand. She doesn't say you have to be. It's true. I'm getting a three just because it's powerful. Yeah, I'm going to give it a three as well. This is Michelle.

Cons, crazy horse chick. Pros, crazy horse chick. I feel like like that's a it's like a profile that appeals to both of us there's nothing there's no pro for being a crazy horse chick as someone who's dated as someone who really wants to ride a horse yeah that's a pro hopefully she has one you can ride no no crazy horse chick has a horse that's not true every crazy horse chick i know has a horse well you come from a country of rich people um this gets a minus 10 for me because i think it's kind of funny i'm giving you a seven well she's self-aware this is murrinal uh wandered too far from the ravenclaw common room and into the restricted section in search of the gimli to michael adriel will you treat me like a princess and then execute me in the socialist uprising i have bourgeois

taste but wish to stay with the proletariat preference of cats over people lover of fine wine art galleries and avocados snack enthusiast sun capricorn moon cancer rising sagittarius poly non-monog unattached i understand what she's going for with all like the references at the beginning but like Gimli like that no I mean I guess unless she's looking for like a really short bearded dude like is that because like that's the vibe she's putting down maybe they just want a love as true as that one person who asked for hair from his mortal enemy yeah like he just they didn't even have a romance he just was like give me some of your hair and then he like kept it for like way longer than he should have i guess uh yeah yeah i don't know

it like i'm gonna give it a three i was gonna give it a seven because like you know she's probably chill you know what like the the references are weird because i like what they're referencing but i think the way they're going about it is kind of weird you know what i mean it's like yeah pick one maybe right like i feel like when you start like just dropping them it's it almost seems a little desperate like look at me i'm cool i like these things like uh's like, if you want to be funny, like pick one maybe. Right. So yeah, like you could have, you could have like chosen your, you know, you could have

been like the Weasley to my harmony. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. Right. That's like, you could have kept in the same vein of, because I think it would have achieved the same end, but it wouldn't have seemed as try hardy. Um, and then there's the fucking socialist bullshit in the middle it's like okay so it's like five ish preference of cats over people love cats love fine wine love our calories and

avocados snack enthusiast yes and then she gets to her three star signs and that's what killed almost all of this for me because i think that's all i need to know about this person is that they're not only a star sign person they They have their, their sun, moon and rising star signs. Like, I'm sorry, but get the fuck out. Like you went from about a six down to a two. I think what we need to say,

like right here, definitively, it's like, no, no one cares. No one cares about astrology. No one in a dating profile. Like you might,

which is fine. That's, you know, whatever like this isn't valuable information to people i i say that but i know they're like there was literally the profile before us being like please be a scorpio so obviously i would love to see how often it it's a flip side and and all the ladies or all the boys out there who like boys anyone who was boys on their fucking dating profile, let us know how many boys have star sign bullshit in their profiles because we see it all the time in women's profiles.

We very rarely see it in guys. But either way, it's one of my least favorite things. Yeah. And you got one more. Okay. This is Anna. I don't care about what car you drive. I care about how you got it. I Okay. This is Anna. I don't care about what car you drive. I care about how you got it.

I care about your financial education. Teach me something about investment, real estate, stocks, etc. The best opener, in my opinion, is a financial tip that's worth gold. A stock tip. A simple business idea to make money. Anything that shows me you are street smart. It will actually create a meaningful conversation. And it will make you stand out. You know what my opening line for this would be like hey what's

your credit card number that would be and like if she's like why it's like well i want to make some money and if she's like no it's like cool i just taught you something don't give your credit card out oh i like that that would be that would be my plan for that one. This is such bizarre energy. It's like, go to a bank, love. Go talk to an investment banker, maybe. I don't know. Join, read a book on economics. It's not my, I'm not going to teach you. It's not my responsibility.

I hate the idea that you have to prove yourself to a stranger. Like, that's probably the number one thing I hate about modern dating and want dating apps where women and I say women because it's really the only people I've dealt with on dating apps. I don't know if it happens with dudes, but I hate the idea that like you need to like prove your worth to someone immediately as opposed to just be like, hey, let'd i'd like to chat with you first before you know i have to cement myself as a financial paragon yeah also it's it's all on one side of the table right none of these people are like oh i'm x it's what do you have x y and z you know what i mean like there's it like when you're meeting someone you're dating it's it's both sides come together and you both have pros and cons and whatever and you see if you gel it's not like here's my fucking demands you don't need to know about me i'm amazing uh i'm giving this one a five just

for how purely bizarrely interesting it is but it sucks hard gonna be a three for me okay so thank you very much for listening it is always a pleasure to sit in this closet and record a podcast for your ear holes. We made an announcement last week about Sexmas, where we are going to, on air, write or at least, you know, come up with a sex novel, an erotic novel. And I don't know if it's going to be Christmas themed. I don't know if we've decided that. I think it should be. I think it should be as well it makes sense so we are doing a little bit of a contest right now you may have already seen it on social media um we're we're running on instagram facebook

and twitter all three of our social accounts you're able to submit and apply for there is a bit of a prize involved some a little extra something something to to make the uh the sexiness a little bit more merry yeah um so there's a few ways you can jump on any of our social media accounts to uh check it out i will put a link in the episode description for that if you want to figure it out it's fck buddies podcast on facebook it's at fck underscore buddies on twitter and it's fuck buddies podcast on instagram um do you want to tell them the the contest info we need you to do is share follow tag some friends in it and also just give us a little suggestion for the novel it could be a title it could be characters it could be items or settings uh it could be pretty much anything

you want uh we will use as many of them as we see fit but there is going to be one winner and we will send them out a little sexmas present and by little i mean significant yeah do we want to say what it is uh yeah we're gonna have a hundred dollar gift card uh to be determined what it is i think probably just a visa gift card so you can use it wherever and whenever you want christmas is going to be tough for a lot of people financially it was a shit year and this is our way of saying thank you for being with us uh i don't remember if i mentioned it last week when we were talking about the wrap-up on spotify but like we we grew like 143 percent or something stupid like that in terms of like people who are listening and following. So wait, no, not like a thousand percent. Yeah. Like 999%. Yeah. It was like a, like 1200%. I'm just saying in terms of growth. Yeah. I don't remember. We, we had a significant

increase in listeners and I, and that's, it's incredible. And we want to really say thank you for, for choosing to spend time with us because we know you have a lot of time and you could have spent it with anyone and you chose us. So we want to do what we can to make your holiday incredible. And we want to remind you, sexmas is not Christmas. Oh, God, no. So it doesn't matter what you celebrate. I'm sorry. I did say Christmas themed. I mean, we have a sexmas themed sex novel.

Yes, a holiday themed sexmas novel um so whatever you celebrate even if you don't celebrate you can celebrate sexmas with us and we will be doing that and making it easier for you but giving you a gift from our hearts and our wallets as a way to say thank you very much for being with us this year oh yeah uh thank you josh eagle in the harvard cities for the song paper stars and if anybody uh feels the need if they could go on to uh pod chaser and give us a little review or a little like we would appreciate that hit me with some sex right here's some really quick inspiration never ask a gentleman do you need a suck that's how little streetwalkers express themselves. Say in a low voice and in

his ear, would you like my mouth? If he is a gentleman whom you have not previously sucked, do not start in by skillfully licking up and down his prick and behind his balls. He would form a bad opinion as to your past. Take his prick into your mouth modestly, lowering your eyes. Suck slowly. Spread your draws apart so as not to bite and clench your lips so as not to drool when the gentleman is about to come do not interrupt yourself to ask him how his mother is doing even if you had forgotten to do so before what when he ejaculates silently swallow it all to the very last drop and then say something nice about the taste of the liquor you just drank is that enough of a

problem that she had to say that like how many women are just like ah shit how's your mom doing hey who knows i'm not spain i'm dame miller and we've been your fuck buddies you