F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 118 - The Woman Depot

Episode Date: January 4, 2021

We did it!  We made it to 2021!  Now no one say anything about what kind of year it's going to be.  Topics include groundhog year, cousin porn, birthday shutdown, surgical sex stoppage, how to pick up Japanese women, rejecting sexual advances that you want.

I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. Hello friends, my name is Day Miller. And I'm out of Spain, and we are your fuck buddies. We are a dating and sexify show where we take your sticky sexy situations and turn them into sexy sticky situations. Simply put, we find questions online or we get them from our lovely listeners and we answer them on the topics of sex and dating.

And hey, welcome to 2021. Oh shit, yeah, this is, we're gonna breach the barrier in the next few days, hopefully. Or it'll still be it'll be like the 36th of January or 36th of December 2020. The year that never ends. What if it's a Groundhog's year and we start again January 1st? To be fair, that's not bad because shit that we would have three good months. Oh, man, those months would be... No, the thing is, reports have said that coronavirus was probably here earlier than people thought. So everyone would go so book wild in those three months.

It would just hit us real hard and way earlier. And it would be even worse than 2020, even though that's probably not possible. Maybe. What else could we do differently? Trump would try to fix the election more he thought he'd fixed it enough now would we all be conscious of what happened because like the reason groundhog day worked was because only one person was remembering oh man imagine being the only person because like hard enough in groundhog day but remember like groundhog world groundhog

year and the worst part is you couldn't even like make bets on sports or anything it's probably worst year i mean i guess you could do the super bowl the super bowl happened but like start like a really fucked up betting service that bets on which country is going to bomb the coronavirus the most and just vote for america yeah the worst thing is this is the worst year for so many reasons you couldn't cheat at. But also like the point of Groundhog Day is like that gets to a point where he knows everything that's going to happen and he can kind of like act accordingly. But like I see pictures from like things that happened this year and I feel like it happened a year ago. So I would have no idea what happened. Like it'd be January.

I'm like, wait, Australia is on fire. Wasn't that 2018? Was that 2019? I don't know. And I'm like, oh, Australia's on fire. Wasn't that 2018? Was that 2019? I don't know. And I'm like, oh shit. Yeah. He started world war three. Kind of like so much shit happened this year that like, and time just stopped me having

all meaning that like, I would be useless until December. But by then I'd probably forget about it. What could you have done about the Australian wildfire fires? Like all the, all the things were so catastrophic and so large scale that like we could do it it's not like you know we're walking down the street and a bank was getting robbed so you could call ahead and be like hey there's a bank robbery about to happen you know what i mean it's like you can't call australia and be like hey you're about to catch fire yo careful man it's really hot over there hey entire country you're about to burn down

did you make some rain um it's yeah it it's i don't know i'm i'm not i'm not even gonna think about 2021 i want to make a plea to everyone don't claim this as your year don't yeah i think maybe we jinxed it you know what i mean like let's all do the whole like oh man this is going to be a terrible year in the like oh i'm definitely going to miss this shot there's no way i'll get it and then you fucking get a fucking hole in one you nail that basket because then you have all the people who manifest do you know how many people started manifesting this year yeah look what it got us but what i'm saying is what if it what if they've learned the ropes they figured it out and then they start manifesting

that it's going to be a bad year again trying to reverse manifest i think you think irony is going to be less powerful than manifestation well if if the people who are manifesting irony then what happens then now you've just they've done what i've said or reversed it god damn it let's do some questions this goes for reddit user stella fay caught my boyfriend watching porn about fucking his cousin during and after visiting her need advice so last night my boyfriend went over to hang out with his female cousin a few years younger than him they grew up together and have always been pretty close so obviously i'm not going to think anything of it but after he got home i found porn on his phone that he'd been looking at during the time he was there and after about having your cousin suck you off and

fucking them i feel so sick to my stomach knowing he was thinking about her like that and i don't know how to approach this situation or bring it up or if i should say anything at all any advice on what to do would be appreciated this is a little weird that he scanned his phone immediately after he got home, but let's put that aside. How do you know the time he was looking at it? Yeah, well, I assume your history will be done on Friday or whatever, right? I guess. I don't know.

I never look into these things. I haven't had to look at my history since I was, like, fucking 15 and at home. So, it's all good. So, let's get something out of the way first. Porn is porn. It's not necessarily indicative of real life or real desires. I have definitely been looking at porn and clicked on something because the porn star is hot. And like, maybe it's like, you know, a cousin thing or a mom thing or a fucking sister thing or whatever.

I'm not saying I want to fuck my mom or my sister. I see a fucking person. I'm like, they're hot. Click. You know what I mean? Half the time, it's the additional shit that makes it worse. And you're like, you know what I mean half the time it's the additional shit that makes it worse and you're like oh you know what i mean like that's well the thing is it's like if you go on any porn service right now every fucking thing is like stepbrother stepcousin step

yeah like almost i don't know why everything is incest related or cousin related or something or at least i don't know how it got there it's bizarre you know what i mean um but like i don't think people watching these are like hell yeah i want to literally have sex with people in my family they're probably like the person is hot or like the abstract i don't know like i think a lot of people like the the stepbrother stepsister thing because it introduces like a fantasy of like there could be sex like just next door you know i could have sex all the time like at home there's just sex there i think that's also taboo right like yeah exactly the whole idea of like you know cheating on your spouse with like the hot babysitter like all those things were very big staples of porn is

like always have been you know the poor housewife fucking the pool boy or the repairman or the mechanic or the, you know what I mean? It's like that sort of allure of like, you're not supposed to do it, but in this world it's okay. But also like there's, there's that like accessibility, you know what I mean? Like the pool boy comes to your house, the pizza man comes to your house, you know i mean like the pool boy comes to your house the pizza man comes to your house you know what i mean like no one's fantasizing about sex that you have to go out and go to a club and awkwardly talk to people and like fuck hope it goes well and then like text them and take them out on the date and then like be like oh you want to come back to mine and then oh finally worked out and like you know hours in, you're finally having sex.

It's about like this world where sex just happens. Sex is there. You can have sex whenever you want. It's, you know, it's a fantasy. And I think a lot of that plays into it more than the specifics. However, it does, it is weird that it's happening exactly like that. You know, the timing is strange.

Well, the other thing is, so I just opened up my phone and I went to my history and there are no timestamps. It tells you when like it says today, December 30th, 2020. I did these things.

Well, I searched S Club 7 and then I watched a bunch of music videos on YouTube of S Club 7. And then I searched the members of S Club 7 to see what they were up to. Nothing all that exciting. And then I searched the Spice Girls because we were talking about the Spice Girls right before we started recording. We were.

We're very cool. I searched vaginal clicking. You can't say that and not bring that question to the podcast i can't and that's the last i'll ever talk about it all right um so it's but like at no point in time does it have a time stamp on any of these things does it have like you know days like is it sequestered into days uh yes so maybe like he was with his cousin for a whole day maybe yeah that's fair what if he stayed over and even then maybe it's not like oh i like this cousin maybe it's like man imagine if i had a hot fictional cousin and the good part about that is they're not actually your cousin if they're fictional they probably just want a blow job

i don't know i wouldn't even be able to tell you like what the relationship is other than like what it says in like the title of a porn video like i don't no one watches i mean i'm sure there are people who watch the fucking story and like the talking but like most people just kind of like skip to the good stuff you know what i mean like no one's being like i really wanted to how they got here. Like, well, the thing is like, which I think is a pity because porn is known for its incredible, uh,

like the dialogue, the production quality, the stories always make sense. Like they put so much effort in that it's actually astounding that people don't pay more attention to just the sheer narrative gold. It's the greatest crime of the modern era. Yeah. Um,

obviously I'm being sarcastic like porns are almost like it's almost a joke how bad they are and how much of uh like didn't don't they start making them off fictional porn plot lines on reddit now with like the poop emoji being like an active i don't know there's all these bullshit things like there's one they did about a rubber duck after reddit make a joke made a joke about it it's like no one's watching that apart from to see sex and be like that's hot or to laugh at the rubber duck no one's actually getting invested so i would very much doubt this person wants to fuck their cousin yeah i like like the the only thing here that i think is troubling is the the concept like if for whatever reason their phone

does have time stamps is that like they were watching porn with their cousin or they were at their cousin's house and watching porn that is the like i wouldn't really worry about like what the the context of the porn is or the plot line of the porn whatever we've discussed that i would be concerned like even if like if amanda went somewhere and her phone was just filled with porn for the entire time she was there even if i don't think she's you know wants to fuck someone or is fucking someone else i would still be like hey why are you watching this much porn in public. Well, so kind of in a similar vein, like what worries me is the checking. Right. So like, you know, if like my girlfriend got home and I was like, well, when she's gone, I got to check her phone for porn.

Like that seems like a really weird thing to do. So either you're in a relationship where you're constantly checking on your partner, which indicates a lack of trust, or there's some reason that you don't trust this guy around his cousin, which could help shine light on why you checked on why this is worrying you so much. But the fact that they haven't mentioned that makes me think it's the former rather than the latter, which probably means that that's the issue in this relationship is the lack of trust um i'm imagining if they did have porn on their phone and if it was so easy to know that they had looked at it while they were at that person's place it's probably because they spent a whole day there and maybe it's like or maybe the night you know what i mean because then it's a solid block it's like you know they're there so maybe it was that they stayed over and just jerked off in their fucking guest bedroom you know what i mean which is not as creepy as just being like hold on because

i'm gonna whip up some porn for reasons but i don't know there's we're missing a lot of a lot of stuff here i just would be hesitant to to judge someone by the by the porn title because people i i think most normal people do not delve that deeply into it it's generally just like this person's hot let's go for it especially because it's so widespread that like if we're going to operate under this i would say that like 90 of the world or like 90 of the people who look at porn are into incest yeah or seems like our health figure yeah which is like you really don't have that much of a choice because like i said everything is like that now i don't know why it happened or how it happened yeah we got here it's just like everyone is stepbrothers or stepdaughters or you know like actual brothers and daughters

yeah yeah it's weird it's got to be at least every second video um so i think what you need to do is you need to like now said figure out why you went through his phone is this a common occurrence? Do you do it a lot? If that's the situation, you need to figure out why and if it's because you don't trust this person, then you should either address that with them, address it with yourself or leave because we had

the whole conversation about trust last episode if you want to know what we're talking about, go listen to that um or you bring it up with your boyfriend and be like hey i found this on your phone you might have to explain why you were on his phone snooping around on it and be like this is a bit concerning for me can you explain it and see what he has to say and if he doesn't have a good enough answer don't try to make a an excuse for him like if it's that big of a deal for you be like okay good enough answer, don't try to make an excuse for him. Like if it's that big of a deal for you, be like, okay, that's weird. I don't want to be any part of this. I'm out.

And then leave. Yeah. Agreed. All right. Ready? This is by hello forever. God casually dating didn't ask when my birthday is when I told him it was coming up next month. I 27 year old has been talking to a guy, 33 year old, I met online about four months ago. We've only met three times. We video chatted every weekend for three months. Recently, I have been having a lot of doubts if he is actually interested in me or not. I have asked him before and he said he was looking for something long-term and I said I was looking for a long-term relationship too. I told him I needed to take things slow with intimacy because I'm inexperienced and never done anything besides kissing. He said we would go at my pace, but I feel like lately he's been more distant.

Two days ago, I told him that my birthday was coming up next month. I was waiting for him to ask when, and he didn't. I decided not to tell him. Is this a red flag that he's not interested? I feel like even with a friend, I would want to know that to at least send a happy birthday text message. I was complaining about not liking my birthday because I get old, but still. Well, it was already not an issue and that last sentence just sort of like slammed the door shut on this question it's like right what we've i'm pretty sure we've talked about this before of like scripting things in your head and saying things hoping that someone will do x y or z and then

freaking out when they don't because like you don't get to determine how a conversation goes sorry that's just not how the way the world works so if you want someone to do something for your birthday especially when you haven't like really done anything with this dude and i don't just mean like sexually i just mean like in general if you've seen him three times that's fucking nothing and you also then said you want to take it slow which like you maybe you just meant sexually but still it's like some people could see it as coming on too strong if you're like oh when's your birthday here's a fucking ipad yeah but like but then you're like oh i hate my birthday it's like that dude's probably like cool i'll have to worry about this person's birthday because she doesn't want to

celebrate it because that's what it sounds like I like how she's like I'm giving hidden messages hoping he would do this but I'm also saying I don't like my birthday and complaining about it which sounds like a hidden message to ignore my birthday but he should ignore that one and focus on the other one yeah also if you need a hint that this dude is into you video chatting someone for three months every weekend with someone you're not sleeping with i'm sorry but like if if you need a bigger sign that he's into you yeah i don't know like you need you does he need a big fucking flashing neon sign being like i'm interested also like if your birthday is next month that's quite a while away like maybe he's gonna ask you about it nearer to the day or maybe you'll be like oh i'm doing x for my birthday and invite him or

not like it's kind of up to you but like if you have birthday plans that have nothing to do with him it almost seems weird for him to be like oh when's your birthday and you tell him and then just go quiet on the day because you're zooming your friends and like you don't know him well enough to invite him yeah you know what i mean like what do you want from this just for him to ask do you want a present do you want a card i think the big problem here is again falling into that trap of being like, I set up this thing because I wanted this response and I didn't get it. It's like, okay, well, sorry. I was waiting for him to ask and he didn't. I decided not to tell him.

Like, you've had this conflict and resolved it without him being aware of it. And now you're feeling bitter about how it turned out and you're stoically refusing to tell him hoping that he comes late to the message and understands like that that's impossible people have like varying degrees of what they think birthdays like varying importance on birthdays like i don't really care like i have a good time i like putting together a little party and doing it but like the birthday itself doesn't really mean a whole lot to me and i also like i don't put a whole lot of weight on it just just because i fuck it but if say like if i know someone's big on their birthday then sure but like i don't remember anyone's birthdays i know like my family's and amanda's i don't even know my families i'm terrible well i know my brothers for sure. My mom and my dad.

I literally have to go through my brothers like our Facebook message chat history and be like, OK, yes, I did have that correct. Yeah, it's crazy. I like there's pretty much only one birthday I know. And it's Brian's because it's his one of my old best friends, one of my exes and like seven other people i know his birthday on that one fucking day uh it's the worst day ever love you brian but back in the day when it was everyone's birthday it was hell so yeah you need to get over it you need to look at the other things that he's doing other than like one arbitrary question he didn't ask you like you know hanging out with you like i don't know trying to fucking video chat someone every week yeah that sounds fucking nightmarish i don't want to do that yeah especially

someone you barely know yeah especially someone where like you're not really getting anything out of the relationship currently in terms of like sex or like even really hanging out like you're not doing anything yeah like it's the scariest part of a relationship and it's only made worse by the fact that you can't interact you know i mean like hanging out with you boys uh we do pathfinder every monday it's like it's made worse by the fact that we can't see each other in person because there's so much that you kind of just like miss out on right like you we're not meant to interact while just sitting like still on a chair but like yeah that we know each other and we all love each other and we've known each

other for a long time we know how to act around each other and it's still harder i can't imagine what it's like with someone you barely fucking know and then all of a sudden they're pissed off you because you didn't ask what their birthday is next one yeah that's it's ridiculous yeah you fucking relax get your shit together i'm sorry calm down next question maybe just like when the birthday comes up be like oh next week like if you want a fucking happy birthday text just be like oh it's my birthday tomorrow boom there we go they're not gonna forget that well let's not say things you can't take back now hey if they do that's fine you'll be so upset your relationship will end

um this comes from reddit user just a bunch of letters would not being able to have sex for four weeks be a deal breaker getting a surgery done in my vaginal area and can't have sex for four weeks when i get back to college i've been talking to a guy for a bit and so far all we've done is make out i'd definitely be down to give him blow jobs or anything else we can think of to be intimate for those four weeks because i enjoy it and as soon as i'm cleared think of to be intimate for those four weeks because I enjoy it. And as soon as I cleared, I plan on having sex with him. Four weeks doesn't seem that long to me, especially considering that the fact that we've been talking for a while and have only made it considering the circumstances.

I was just wondering if some guys would be like, nope, I'm out or if it's not a huge deal. Be honest and blunt, please. Ha ha ha. I can answer this one very quickly. Getting getting blowjobs he's so happy he doesn't care it's fine you're you're literally grand and if for some reason he's weird about it great you've done yourself a service because you know this asshole can just fucking hit the road now what if she's bad at blowjobs then you have four weeks to get better yes you can take the blowjob masterclass yeah just like if you're bad at them like look up some advice online there's some videos i'm sure there are you know places for women give each other tips you know what i mean i'm sure there's a how-to video somewhere you could also just

listen to that one episode we did where we got a glowing review when we talked about blowjobs and handjobs. It's really quite easy. And honestly, I think that's all we need to say. It's whatever. Like if someone's not willing to wait a month because you had surgery.

Yeah, they suck. And that's good to find that out as swiftly as possible. Also, blowjobs are incredible. And most people would be like, wait, I get blowjobs for a month? Amazing. And I don't have to do anything else? Yeah. also blowjobs are incredible and most people would be like wait i get blowjobs for a month amazing and i don't have to do anything else yeah like it's just a free blowjob yeah it's it's such a like open and shut like you have nothing but positives if you enjoy like

yeah you're like oh i hate blowjobs but like you're like i love doing it it's like okay cool yeah like this isn't just in general like it's on you to give blowjobs if you can't have sex or anything like that because that is in no way the case and you should never feel like you need to give them at all you know whether it be that you feel ill or you had surgery or you're on your period or whenever that is not what we're saying if you're saying you're down to give blowjobs and you enjoy it and you're happy fuck yeah i one thing i would say is the only disclaimer i would put on this is make sure that he knows like just give him a heads up and be like hey we can't have sex

you don't have to go into the nitty-gritty details but if you're weird about it like if he if you're getting a blowjob and then he like you know tries to escalate things and you're like oh no with no real explanation yeah you don't want to maybe give him the wrong impression like obviously you don't have to necessarily share your stuff but like if you're just like oh i had surgery you know yeah and like you don't have to say what specifically it was just be like oh you know i mean like i i have had to do a medical thing and they told me not to have sex for four weeks yeah okay great i guess the only risk is that he thinks like maybe you caught something and are like trying to hide it from him but like i mean i think it's also like i will also be very adamant on being like hey it's important to share your sexual history

with new partners you know what i mean so it's like if you're like oh hey don't worry about it i'm clean i've been tested hopefully you've been tested um and just be like it was strictly a medical procedure that will you know that that will hurt me if i have sex yeah because if if someone was like you know getting all hot and heavy with me but every time sex was on the table they were very evasive i'd be like yeah you start to question yeah and it's again it's not that like a blowjob means sex is happening it's just you know i would like to be in the know and not be confused as to why you're so event don't want to be an asshole if there's some reason that you don't want x or y and like i don't know then i stop like doing it and then i feel weird because i'm like is she expecting me to do it i'm not doing

it like if you don't know what's going on, like you have no idea. So you don't know how to act. It's not fun for anybody. Yeah. Also, I don't want to make you like I would if you tell me, oh, I can't have sex for four weeks, then I'm not going to try to have sex with you for four weeks. You know what I mean? Like as opposed to not knowing that's the stipulation, you know, you might assume they're

on their period or they're not feeling well. Or, you know, maybe you met up at a point where she hadn't had a chance to shower and she doesn't feel comfortable or whatever. Maybe it's someone who likes to be clean shaven and hadn't shaved in a while. You know, all these things can happen. But like, if those run through your head, then the next time you meet up,

which could be in a week, you might assume the issue has since passed. But like, you wouldn't want to. If I found out then after that i'd be like oh shit now i bothered you twice that sucks so just be open yeah i think it's i think this is a really good opportunity to start your sexual relationship with open communication because it's only going to get better because of it like if this dude bails and he's like oh she told me about a surgery you had or she had gross it's like well that's not

someone you want to be in a sexual relationship with nope because like what happens if you are casual and one of you does get something like you know you should be comfortable and be like hey just so you know i tested positive for whatever you should go get tested you know and and sort it out without you know anyone freaking out about it. So if you're if you're starting your relationship with open communication, you'll find that in the long run, you can have a really, really good time and a much healthier relationship because of. OK, this is from. Oh, this isn't from seduction.

It's from nice guys. Oh, no. And it's a screenshot of something that user oil done swan found. And it's in a travel recommendation. Reddit traveling to Jesus fucking like little nesting dolls. I know traveling to Japan tomorrow and have a question about the females. This was posted in travel recommendations. I hate it.

I'll be arriving in Tokyo tomorrow and I would like to ask something. This of course isn't the main purpose of my trip, but I was wondering what is the best way to find a single female Japanese female? Like what locations are the best place to find them? Also, what is the best place to take them on a first date and what kind of gifts do they enjoy?

I'm traveling from the States, so I'd greatly appreciate any information from those who have a Japanese GF themselves thanks you know here's the good thing is thankfully all japanese women are exactly the same and don't have varying tastes or ideas or thoughts thankfully it's just like god forbid they went to like different places yeah yeah thankfully when you know the the japanese female single female was created just copy and paste it just control c control v just there you go have at it american tourists yeah like scientists have been or not even scientists priests i guess have been talking

about the they call it the the lazy the lazy day of god where he just i guess copy and pasted like an entire half a country on the 17th day he gave up in japan yeah he got tired man like he'd already done most of the world like he still got an a minus that's like like you know japanese women are great yeah that's why he made them all the exact same so he's just like hey nailed it a one half at it yeah so best way to find them obviously and what location are the best place to find them it's the same question really because at 9 a.m sharp the uh the women pen opens up and they all funnel in bleezing um to receive their grains and warm milk um and they stay there till is it is it 6 p.m yeah then they get moved to the lady depot yeah yeah they get they get shoved off to the to the lady depot en masse they actually have a really interesting blimp system that comes and

scoops them up using giant inflatable hands and just deposits them in in the lady depot and they're there till about midnight and then they get chap around home i believe that that's about it right yeah it's uh so it's one of those show up um best place to take them on the first date it's really hard to do a first date because they sleep from 12 onwards and during the day they're in either the pan or the Depot. I don't know if anyone's ever dated a Japanese woman. No, that almost sounds like they have autonomy. Yeah.

Wouldn't want that. No. What gifts do they enjoy? They might enjoy freedom, but it's hard to hear them from the bleezing in the Pan. They might really, really enjoy sentience. They might. We don't know god unfortunately didn't give them the option this is did you ever see that video i can't remember the name of the dude

who like went and was like japanese women love being grabbed by dudes uh and i can't remember what the fuck his name was but he's like he's that fucking douchebag pickup artist guy who's been banned from like every country it's probably him i don't know obviously there is a fetishization happening here yes and i think that like there's this culture of you know what what japanese women are depicted in a lot of media as like these you know sort of subservient, you know, obedient women. And I think that like, there's so many issues with this on just the ground level, but to go there as a tourist, as an American, presumably probably a white male and expect that there

is just sort of like, like a gosh upon machine or like a claw machine in which you can just wander in and like fucking you know spin the wheel and grab yeah they actually used up all the claws on the blimp so there literally isn't one left for you to use um it's it's really really troubling and i know this isn't like i know there are a lot of people who do this yeah people tend to be even like i think that's kind of one of our main problems with like seduction and pickup artistry is like it assumes that women are all the same thing and it's like follow these four steps and you're good it's like no like it's not a pokemon they're not like rock

is weak to water grass is weak to fire like if you find a grass type woman light or on fire you know like it that's not how the world works there are a million different types they're sorry just a million different types there are billions upon billions of different types of people and women and men and every spectrum in between it's just baffling that anybody is this dumb it's troubling and i i don't really know what to like suggest for fix their fucking worldview well yes them specifically i mean more like what you know the average person can do to fix it i think a big thing is like i don't even know because like something telling me this guy's probably going by himself yeah i mean like something tells me this guy isn't exactly like friends mcgee but

maybe i don't know yeah i'm assuming it's like a business trip or something it's very frustrating for me because i i want to just like shake this man and be like fuck off just just fuck right off but yes you you need to understand like you said that there isn't a a game plan for women like you might find an approach that works for you and that's fine great but like to assume that there is a plan for a specific sort of woman and that it's as simple as going on the internet and like like he's almost treating women as if it's like trying to find the best like noodle stand and it's like it's it's not that fucking yeah it's like literally like asking for a commodity yeah and

women are commodities i think that's one thing you really need to fucking realize like you don't just go out and like purchase one at you know the women pen like you need to examine any generalizations you have about a group of women with especially like around kind of like these predetermined lines such as like nationality or like ethnicity or religion or anything like that. And if it's in any kind of group situation, you're wrong. Yes, yeah, yeah. I mean, like which blanket statement that you are wrong

because like, you know, one Christian person is not the same as another Christian person. One Muslim person is not the same as another Muslim person. One, you know, white person is not the same as another white person. Like it's, you know, an Irish person is not the same as another Muslim person. One, you know, white person is not the same as another white person. Like it's, you know, an Irish person is not the same as an Irish person. Yes. Yeah. It's, I remember when I was first learning how to bartend at a very shitty family restaurant,

one of the bartenders was a lovely black lady. Um, and I remember these two dudes calling her over and being like hey hey how how should i talk to that that chick over there and it was another black woman and she was like what do you mean he's like well you know like how do you like being talked to yeah and i was like i'm going to drown you in that bud light you're drinking you son of a bitch and and it's like i hear it all the time it's one of the frustrating things about being a bartender it's like you really can't like as much as i'd love to be like hey you're a fucking idiot i'm not allowed to um but like you hear these generalizations and it's it's this weird ethnicity thing too it's it's this weird

like you know oh there's their x you know their skin color is this therefore there is this tactic you got to use and it's it's so fucked and it is 90 of the time white dudes oh yeah anyway people be better don't do that no just chill take a deep breath relax see the people much like telling men how to interact with women. Most important thing is to realize that they're people and, and nothing else to strip down all of the other sort of like descriptors you can apply to them and realize that like at the core, there are a human being who has thoughts and feelings and, you know,

goals and dreams. Yeah. It's, it's absolutely absurd that we should have to say this ever, let alone almost constantly. Yeah, I know. All right, hit me. This comes from RitterTA and then a bunch of numbers.

How to make him wait for it without ruining the mood. As in rejecting his advances to begin with and slowly building him up until I let him fuck me. Or it takes me a little while longer to get horny, whereas he just wants to stick it in as soon as he's hard but i want to make him wait for it advice please that's it that's it okay well the term rejecting his advances is concerning me

yep because it sounds like you're saying i don't want to have sex, but you do want to have sex. And then you're either expecting him to ignore your consent or understand your like mind game, neither of which is healthy for you or anybody. I'm hoping that was clumsy word usage because that's terrible. See, I don't think it is. I think what you've described here is a fetish or a kink or a sex game without explaining the rules to your partner. That's a recipe for disaster. Actually, most games where you don't explain the rules are, but at least there aren't genitals on the line. Yeah, and feelings and self-esteem and like all these things that criminal charges

if this is something that you want to do if you want to do the sort of this like denial role play or whatever that is not my role play you need to tell your boyfriend and be like hey you know when if he's trying to initiate or you're both you know sort of feeling a little frisky be like hey i'm gonna let you get to a certain point and i'm not gonna let you go any further and you're gonna have to either you know beg me or blah blah blah do this do that whatever the parameters you want to set it doesn't matter it's your fucking game make it up um but you need to let them know that you are playing a game and that you do want to have sex you just need a little something special yeah like if you just like seeing him squirm

or if you need more foreplay, that's a whole different conversation which you should be, you know, you should ask for and not, again, reject and just hope he fucking figures it out. But Dane's 100% right. If you're, ugh, it's just so fucked to imagine it going down any

other way, but you need to literally be open and honest with what you're doing and say, hey, I x or y we're going to wait i'm going to make you wait like if this is your kink if this is the game you want to play by all means but like you need to let him know and honestly it's probably going to be even better because then he is going to have that weight right that agony it won't just be confusion and or like right i'll go home or okay let's stop yeah like you said it's like imagine trying to play a game of basketball with someone who's never heard of basketball before and you give him the ball and then you're just like you know standing there ready to like play and he's just like i don't know what this is and you're like

okay no it's like we're all gonna be upset i don't know what you want me to do with this. Yeah. All right. Yeah, because like, again, it's a very real danger that he either ignores your consent, which you're kind of training him to do in this situation. You're basically teaching the lesson that your consent doesn't matter. And if your guy's relationship ends, that lesson is not going to go away when your relationship ends that lesson is not going to go away when your relationship ends yeah but also what if one day

you actually don't want to have sex yes it's the boy who cried wolf fucking situation you know what I mean you can't bandy that shit around without good communication it's like if you don't want to have sex great don't if you do want to great do there's none of this fucking gray area bullshit

yeah consent should never be a part of your like your game unless it is very clearly and specifically stated that it is because like you know rape fantasies and those kind of things and like you know rough sex and dominance and stuff like that you can play with consent in the the parameters of that kind of thing. But it's like... But the funny thing is in those situations, like with it's con non-con. So it's like you're giving consent for your consent to be ignored.

And the only way to do that safely is to have alternative measures of consent, such as a safe word, which guess what? Involves like a fucking communication between you guys and knowing what you're doing and playing. Yeah, absolutely.

Like it's a preemptive consent. Like you you've sat down you've discussed in length and detail and in confidence have been like hey this is what we're going to do and here's my consent to do it but here are the ways that i will i can rescind consent within the parameters it's like it's so special and important to highlight that because there's a big big problem right now at least there was when i was single of women misusing consent and you know what i mean and it's like this is what we've trained dudes to do like there are so many like you could ask pretty much any dude and they will say that like they've been told that a woman doesn't want to have sex only to then be reprimanded for not trying to have sex with them and that and like that is a lesson that ends up getting ingrained in people being like how many

times do you think a dude is gonna not have sex or miss an opportunity to have sex because he didn't ignore women's consent yeah i i don know. I always hesitate to say like trained or like, you know, all this shit because it just sounds like the old boys will be boys like men can't take for themselves. They're just like dogs. You train them,

but it's not that productive. It's like if men treated women a certain way over and over and over again, it happens. People get like twisted by, you know, these shitty things. It's like the whole shaving thing how like a lot of men have kind of like this whole thing where like women feel like they need

to be clean shaven like fully um and it's only recently that people have tried to fight back against that right it's that same kind of ideal where it's like if this is the general thing that you've seen if every time you went home with someone and you were unshaven and they were like, oh, what the fuck? You would start to probably shave even if you didn't necessarily want to. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So I know there's someone who probably heard that and was like, that's bullshit.

And I really do think it is a an issue that can that can flare up people on both sides. But it's also something that's really important, because like if someone of the opposite sex is telling you something over and over and over again it's like why would you not listen to that right and that's why it's fucked because you shouldn't listen to it but it also should never be said or done you know of course yeah like if if someone was you know every time you walk through a door you got punched in the face eventually you'd stop walking through that door yeah that. That's a good point to bring up. I'm not trying to shift the blame or the onus onto women or anything like that. I'm just saying that like the socialization of consent is very important because if you mistreat it, or if you misrepresent

your consent, you can, you know, it adds to the social consciousness and the socialization of what consent is yeah and the the more you the more people you know fuck around with that the more muddied the water is even though it is a concept that should be very very black and white yeah that's the thing we can't afford gray areas with regards to consent um and it's a communication issue you know what i mean like if you want to play your game that's fine but you need a willing partner to play it because otherwise it's cruel it's dangerous yeah you know um you're lying to someone and expecting a response in a way that is counterintuitive in so many ways, like morally, legally. It just, it's awful.

So don't do that. If you want to do a game like this, you have to have consent and you have to talk it out and you need to establish parameters and safe words and then get to it. Once everything's safe and happy and everyone's, you know, a willing participant, then it's fine. Also, you mentioned it briefly,

maybe talk to him about foreplay and remind him that that exists. If you need a willing participant then it's fine also you mentioned it briefly maybe talk to him about foreplay and remind him that that exists if you need a little bit more time to get warmed up for sex because like yeah because like if it's not uh uh like a kink and a control issue maybe it is just a foreplay thing and like that's a lot more easily done especially when open communication

is a thing which rejecting your advances when you do want to have sex is complete opposite of this. At the end of every episode, we like to move into the world of online dating where we have people send in their profiles or profiles that they've come across on the various profiles or services like Bumble, Tinder and Hinge. And then we comb through them for red flags and in an effort to one, usually laugh at people and to hopefully make your online dating profiles a little bit more palatable and successful. So this is Farron. Six feet tall. I will not date shorter. Sorry, not sorry, my mini golfers. 50% tomboy, 50% bombshell. One of my vices is being alone. If I have a better time with you

than with myself then i will share my world with you then we can create our own and then she puts her instagram there cool uh i was really hoping there was gonna be a dark souls reference in there somewhere with the name like farron but that's all right nope but there's a mini golfer reference whatever the fuck that means i don't know what she means by mini golfers yeah the only thing i can think of is like oh you're not big enough to ride like that kind of idea like mini golf is played by all adults there's literally no height requirement for mini golf i'm giving this a one yeah i don't i don't like it either there's i don't know i the tomboy bombshell thing is very strange too and i don't hate it i'm not saying don't put that because, you know, that's a good

indication of personality, I guess. I will say, their picture is, you know those horrific, like, filters that put your makeup on and everything? Yes. So it's an eye-changing, makeup-putting, face-smoothing, like,

tanning filter that's, like, not even passable as like reality and that's that's their face cool I will admit that filters like that are almost definite zero never use filters on your answer or your dating profiles

ever it's just and for God's sakes not the fucking doggies I know I say it like every other episode don't use the fucking doggies have gone I think that's a rel, not the fucking dog ears. I know I say it like every other episode. Don't use the fucking dog ears. I think those days have gone. I think that's a relic of the past. I don't know, but I think so. Yeah, I don't know.

I haven't seen fucking people doing that basic ass shit in a while. What's your rating? Oh, yeah, it's a one. I'm not. This is Alexis. Hmm. I'm a sinner. I'm a saint.

I do not feel ashamed. And I thought what I felt a sinner. I'm a saint. I do not feel ashamed. And I thought what I felt was simple and I didn't belong. Now I know we both mistreated the situation wrong. They don't understand, but I don't even really care because I miss you. So much more than I thought, than I thought that I could really stand. But here I am. Falling, falling. Scarier every day because I never needed a safe place to land until I loved you now i'm into my claymation stage like ben duh black heart sunglasses face alien face is that a

song none i know and even if i do i can't imagine the claymation is part of a song i don't know it's their experimentary phase every now yeah i don't know. It's their experimentary phase. Yeah, I don't know what's happening there. See, here are the things. I know some really, really cool ladies who would have dating profiles like this. And it's not to say that it's a bad profile. I mean, it is a bad profile. It literally doesn't tell you anything about this person other than like they're so random yeah also i started looking it up and it

looks like it might be like every different sentence is a different line from a different song because it's not one song fair and that is even worse um but like i know people who have like who think like this kind of shit is funny and they're really cool people so like anytime we get these like lol random kind of things i'm always torn to give it a bad review because like like i said i've come across people that i know and i've been like this is your profile but you're so much cooler than this. But that's exactly the point is like, it's not necessarily a bearing on the person. It's a bearing on the profile.

That's a good point. You know, you're telling me is badly representing your cool friends. Ergo red flag, not good. Fix your profile. If it's a, if I have to like research to try and figure out what the fuck you're

saying, it's not good. Like maybe if there was like one and I look it up, I'm like, you know, if it was a quote that didn't make sense, I look it up. I fuck you're saying, it's not good. Like, maybe if there was, like, one, and I look it up, and I'm like, you know, if it was a quote that didn't make sense, I look it up, I'm like, oh, it's from The Office. That's funny. You know, I know you like The Office,

and I can deal with that. If it's just this garbled mess, I'm giving it a two. And only because I gave the last one a one, and that was actually offensive. I'm gonna give it a three. Okay. You're back on you're back

on form and then lastly we have tara it's really funny because they have a mirror selfie and i thought they were holding like a blade in their hand and i was like that's weird uh but it's their mask i guess down in their like right hand and like it's hanging in a weird shape so like the white like lining inside looks like a blade anyway i'm a lady i tell jokes i love singing and unmisbehaving bears brackets dogs you have to have figured out fitness and nutrition by now stop smoking it's aging you vape quit drinking you look terrible i'm looking to be swept off my german feet brackets i am not german but that German. But that Alberta boy stereotype. Country music.

Pickup truck. Trades. Taller than I. Beard oils. I am crazy slash hot. Searching for my unicorn balance. Okay, bye. Did she say she is Calgary boys?

What was that part? She's looking to be swept off her German feet. In brackets. She is not German. By that Alberta boy stereotype. She wants someone with a country music pickup truck, trades, who's taller than them, and oils their beard.

Yeah, okay. I mean, it's a very specific profile. Okay, can we just discuss a few things? Sure. The fuck is an un-misbehavin' bear? It's a dog. Apparently. Do you know, did you know that before the brackets no okay because what the fucking shit is that i i mean like maybe it's a thing i have no idea i'm so out of tune of

everything that's happening so i literally i looked it up and nothing's coming up then i don't know it's probably something they think is caught on a lot more than it has oh hurts also i love how it's like hey if you have like you have to figure it out fitness and nutrition stop smoking and then they're like start vaping yeah it's like if you're saying like downgrade from smoking to vaping like sure i guess but like if you're that upset about smoking it almost sounds like it's like if you do smoke stop and if you don't vape start yeah i mean this could be one of those sneaky profiles owned by big vape oh they're always getting us right our fucking our uh like arch nemesis in the big vape industry they're just infiltrating this podcast trying to get free fucking advertisers without paying us big vape well they just did we just read their fucking code words tower misbehaving

dog is the new flavor damn it misbehaving bear you fool i said what i said also why don't they say my german feet i am not german i don't know maybe it's just terrifying feet germans have weird feet is that a thing that we also don't know about also let's be fair if someone says they're crazy and that they're hot like i'm sorry absolute zero here yeah if you describe if any if you ever describe yourself as crazy to me because either you are in which case i'm sorry no or like you think you are or you think that's a good thing? In which case, also no. Yeah, you're going to try very hard to earn that title. Like an ableism thing, because I'm very much sure she's not saying like, oh, I have like, you know, depression or I have like bipolar or whatever, because that, you know, I'm sure there are better ways to say that. Yeah, there's there's a big distinction between like crazy girl tm and mental illness yes and if someone was like oh hey i have you know whatever um sure great i again don't think

that's a great thing to put on your dating profile yeah i just want to make it clear that i'm not equating you know because i know crazy can be a weird ableist term and i'm saying i don't want to date someone who's crazy i'm saying i'm not equating those yes just in case it's unclear um and i do not think calling those things crazy is a good thing i just know that some people would misread what i said uh this gets a minus one yeah i'm giving it a zero i just i want more of those fun ones like the last one remember last time we had a good one we did i know can someone send us in good ones send us in like send us in your profiles yeah like we're drowning in filth over here guys we won't read out your name if you don't want us to of course not yeah but i

want to know that someone out there is still still doing good profiles maybe i'll get back on tinder it keeps telling me to swipe and i'm like, I haven't used you in like four years. Leave me alone. Cause a fucking scandal in the neighborhood. Everyone will be like, who's that? Why are they on Tinder? Well, the one I have is both me and Amanda on like a joint profile.

So. Typical. We are fine. Anyway, we should probably end this, boy. Thank you very much for listening. It has been a pleasure as always to usher in the new year with you. Oh yeah. I hope we do. We have a,

well, wait, I'm not going to jinx us. You know what I mean? And I don't want to jump the gun, but I really think 2021 is our year. Shut the fuck. We just said we wouldn't do that.

Beans. I fucked it up. Get out, edit it out, but not on the podcast but out of god's ears i'm just gonna crank that up to the max volume so it's gonna blow everyone's eardrums when i say it oh we'll hear it i see yeah i i hope everyone's made it through and i hope we're gonna make it through again and hey guys i've been trying to like monitor the stats

of the podcast a little better and i'm trying to put together a little profile i've been trying to like monitor the stats of the podcast a little better and i'm trying to put together a little profile i've really got to say it we've said it before the philippines they're just the best you guys are fucking crazy and i love you and it's like the i don't know how we got over to you i don't know who's spreading us but it is incredible how many of you guys are listening and like chilling with us so thank you very much for listening it is a pleasure it's an honor um if if you are in the philippines we have a few uh you know really great listeners agent kingdom i would say regular friends is that too bold i don't know i think they're pretty awesome yeah they send us like

instagram memes every now and then and it's very sweet. So we do have, we've got friends of the show. So if you are from the Philippines and you have a question, or if you want to just, like, chill and hang out, shoot us a message on Twitter or Instagram. Like, reach out to us, because I really want to, like, get to know y'all a little bit better, because you're there, you're listening. I don't know how you found us. I don't know how we got over there. I don't know how anyone found us, and it's kind of cool. I want to be a part of you guys there. You're listening. I don't know how you found us. I don't know how we got over there. I don't know how anyone found us and it's kind of cool.

I want to be a part of you guys now. So please reach out. You can email us at fbuddiespodcast at gmail.com if you have a question. Or you can hit us up on Twitter at fck underscore buddies or on Instagram fck buddies podcast. Or you can visit us online at fbuddiespodcast

dot com. But also even if you're not from the Philippines, you won't be FCK buddies podcast, or you can visit us online at F buddies podcast.com. But also even if you're not from the Philippines, you won't be as cool, but you can still reach out to us. Oh yeah, for sure. I mean like take this as a challenge. I don't think anyone can knock them off their throne,

but if you want to try, go ahead. The U S got pretty close this week. Oh, we'll say that. They, yeah, they got pretty close,

but the, the Philippines are still close, but the, the Philippines are still, are, are beautiful, beautiful Filipino friends are still the Kings. So, uh,

they're the, they're the ones to beat. Thank you to Josh Eagle and the harvest cities for their song paper stars. Do you have some sex writing for us? Oh, dang. Are you ready? Yes.

Yes, I am. At the end of every episode now reads some sex writing, which is not good, and therefore it is bad sex writing. Fuck, he snarled. He tilted her up again, her legs now resting on his shoulders, and positioned himself and began to push into her back entrance. Kimber drew in a great shocked gasp, her hazel eyes wide. Deke? What the hell are you doing? Luke barked. Tensing a little more with every inch, he pushed inside Kimber's tight passage, the tendons on his neck standing out, the muscles in his arms shaking, assailed by the amazing

sensations of being slowly enveloped by her tight, ready flesh, Deke could barely form a word. Fucking her ass. Saving her life. Damn. This is some sort of anal sex disease? No. I'm glad you asked, Dan. Let's take you into the context here. So Kimber wants to reconnect with an old friend, Jasper, or sorry, Jesse, from college. However, Jesse has become a rock star and is a worldwide sensation, but is also known for having a penchant for threesomes of the man-man-woman variety. Now, Kimber knows before she can get with him, she needs to go and practice threesomes. Luckily, an old mercenary he used to work for her dad by the name of Deke also has a famous penchant for man-man threesomes.

In fact, he can only ever fuck if there's another man there as well. But, as the book hastens to remind us, not in a gay way. It's because of his trauma where someone died. And, also, he only ever fucks with his cousin, Luke, who is also featured in this passage. So Kimber gets with Deke and Luke, and then she realizes that two things. One, Deke refuses to have sex with virgins, and he also refuses to have vaginal

penetration, and he refuses to have sex without a man being there as well. Also, Kimber refuses to lose her virginity because she needs to save it for the internet sensation, Jessie. She realizes that getting fucked in the ass solves all their problems. How does it save her life, though?

I'm glad you asked, Dane. As is revealed later on in the novel, Deke's dark secret is that he once had sex with a virgin. She got pregnant, went crazy, and killed herself. So he thinks two things. One, having sex with virgins will get them instantly pregnant and will kill

them. And two, if he has another man there, then he can blame someone else if it happens again. Damn. I like that he just thinks that, like, proximity is enough for, like, is Luke also having sex with him? Or sex with her?

Yeah, they're having threesomes also Luke's his cousin did I tell you that and he's a chef yes okay like yes it's a threesome they're both having sex although it is presumed in these situations that he is penetrating them from behind while Luke is I guess like

fucking their mouth so like there's no way Luke could have gotten them pregnant yeah that's what i'm saying is like dna exists my dude like all they have to do is he can't be like oh hey hey hey my cousin was there yeah well no way it could be me my cousin was there also birth control is a thing also virgins aren't more fertile than non-virgins. Also, an unlinked suicide to a pregnancy has nothing to do with... Anyway, there you go. Incredible. What's the name of

this book? Oh yeah, sorry. This book is Decadent by Shayla Black. I wouldn't have guessed that name at all. No. Cool. My name is Dave Miller. And I'm Lyle Spain. We've been your fuck buddies