F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 158 - It‘s CaptivUS, Not CapitvAS (feat. Angel Russell)

Episode Date: October 11, 2021

I hope you've got room in your fear vocabulary because we're about to add a whole bunch of new entries.  This week, we're joined by Angel Russell, our friend from sex supersite Tickle.Life who generously sourced every question for the entire episode.  Topics include a Freaky Friday gender swap, a literal sticky situation for your penis, the most complicated way to get pregnant, a going Dutch deal breaker, helping a friend with a pregnancy. Be sure to check out https://www.tickle.life/index.html for a near infinite resource of sexual resources!

I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. Alright, we're rolling. Hello friends, my name is Dave Miller. And I'm Mal Spain. And we're your fuck buddies.

We are a dating and sex advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations and we turn them into sexy, sticky situations. Simply put, we find questions, usually online or from our wonderful listeners, but this week from Tickle.Life. And we answer them on the topics of sex and dating. That's right. We are joined by a lovely representative from Tickle.Life. Our friends over at the site. We've talked about them before. We've been friends with them for a while. But today we're joined with Angel.

Hello. Welcome. Yes. Hi. I'm really excited to be here. Hell yeah. Do you want to tell us a little bit about yourself? Yeah, sure. So I am the COO of Tickle.Life and I am a board certified sex educator. I've been teaching sex ed to adults for about 10 years. I am all but thesis on a master's degree in psychology. I actually am turning in the first full draft of my thesis this month so I can defend this semester. Yeah. Thank you. I am a little nervous to say,

to, to accept any congratulations just yet, uh, until the, the words are on the page, but, um, I just don't want to jinx myself, but yeah, thank you. Yes. In a month, ask me how it went and then you can congratulate me from now. Expect that message. i'm in i'm in i'll look forward to it um yeah so that's kind of my situation i um yeah that's that's a little bit about me oh yeah far more qualified than us i love it literally about to say we're just gonna call it in this episode we're just gonna walk off you take it from here we'll we'll be back at the end i am like so excited i i love your show i've been listening for a while my partner and i both listen and um we're i'm like really excited

to be doing this and i'm looking forward to kind of like riffing with you guys and so yeah i i am please don't leave because i'm really looking forward to the dynamic yeah no thanks again for for coming out and uh yeah we're excited. Before we jump right into the questions, do you want to talk a little bit for the people who aren't super familiar with Tickle? What Tickle is all about? Yeah. So Tickle.life is a global sexual wellness discovery platform. So what that means is we are like your one-stop shop for answers to your questions about sex and relationships. So, you know, when you're done listening to the Fuck Buddies and you want to hear more good content on sex and dating and relationships and all of that, head over to Tickle.life

and we can continue to fill in the gaps and answer your questions. We have a really insanely robust blog. We just launched a whole fleet of podcasts. We have the largest listing of curated sex positive podcasts anywhere. We do multimedia, multinational workshops. We are getting ready to launch a bunch of courses. So we have a ton of ton of ton of content i'm sure i'm going to be forgetting things um oh we're also getting ready to launch a

marketplace where people will be able to visit um medical and mental health professionals that are sex positive so let's say that you're you know reading an article on something and maybe reading an article on stis and it's starting to sound kind of familiar to you and you're going, oh no. And you want to check out more about that. You can book an appointment with a doctor who can do a telehealth visit with you and all of that can happen right through the site. So that's kind of what we're setting up right now. And so there's lots of things to look forward to with Tickle and with Tickle.life and like what we're doing. And so just head over and sign up for the newsletter and you'll get updates as we launch new things. It's a startup. So we're constantly launching new things all the time. But I would say that the thing I am the most, most excited about right now is we,

we did just launch like a huge portfolio of original content podcasts, including one that I am doing with my, my husband, we're doing a podcast called sex at speakeasy where we get drunk and talk about the history of sex and so uh so yeah i'll definitely be checking that out awesome yeah you guys can come drink with us sometime we're down yeah you don't have to ask us twice yeah yeah tickle is awesome we've definitely uh like linked a few articles and we've talked about them a bunch and like when you say one-stop shop it's not an exaggeration there's like everything on there so uh definitely worth checking out and we're also on there and soon we'll have an advice column on there so that's right spoiler warning i i know yeah and we can talk about that more at

the end i'm very excited about the upcoming column. Yeah, so are we. So this week, we usually source our questions from our listeners and various online resources, such as Reddit and more dubious sources at times. But this week, Tickle.life has provided us with a list of questions. I don't know. Do you know where this has come from specifically? I know that some of it was questions that people had brought to us. Some of it was questions that the team sourced. So I don't, I was not part of the sourcing of the questions. I saw them once

a while ago. I was told that they were added to, so I'll actually get to be surprised. So I don't, I don't know the origins of all of the questions, but I do know that the team had been sourcing them for quite a while. So I'm excited to see what we've got. It's definitely an eclectic bunch. It's all over the place. There are some questions that get a little wild. Yes.

We're going to softball, I think. And I think we're going to start with, it's the first question on the list. And I think it's a great way to introduce kind of what we're in for. And the question is, suddenly there's a gender swap in the world. All boys become girls and the same with the opposite. How do you think the world would handle it? I'm going to let you guys go first. And as guests, we always get to make you go first.

So no pressure. Okay, I'll go first. How do I think the world would handle it? Honestly, I think the world would be fine. I think people are surprised at how, would be surprised at how not rigidly they adhere to gender roles, even when they think they do.

I think that our world is really set up for gender diversity in better and better ways all the time. And I think that, I think the first thing is that, especially if we're talking about cisgender folks, so folks who their gender is the same as their sex assigned at birth, I think that the first thing that everybody would do is like check out their new genitals. Right. Like that's the whole thing. Like if I like a month maybe of like no activity while everyone just masturbate. Masturbate. And like, yes, tons of that amount of time.

But I kind of think once we get past our new junk, like I really think that'll be like the biggest transition. And then we're just going to like live our lives the way we've been living them. So I don't really see it. I mean, I think gender is a really cool part of people's personalities. And I think that it makes a difference in sort of how we move through the world. And I think we might all understand each other a lot better if we got to sort of spend some time um kind of coexisting in each other's spaces but i i don't think it would be like i don't think again outside of like you said the month that we would all spend in our private spaces uh diddling ourselves yes i i think that aside from that i i i think we'd be um right back to just being workaholics like we are and

it's interesting that you both assumed this was a permanent swap because I thought this was more of a freaky Friday. You're there until you learn the lesson kind of situation. Well, you know what? I think a few people would have a really hard time with it. And I wouldn't have thought this before we started the podcast, but the amount of like questions we've gotten in about like men not like wiping their butts or like cleaning down there because they're worried that it's seen as like

a feminine thing to like touch their butts and shit like that the amount of times we've seen that through questions over the last two years i think a lot of men would have a really hard time being a woman i'm not sure a lot of women would have as hard of a time being a man. Oh, well, I do think people will get over that eventually. But I think initially, there would be some panic because apparently that's a thing ingrained in people. Like the hygiene thing. Well, except that women do get access and like get permission to be better at hygiene. And so it might not if anything, these dudes who are like scared to clean their bodies because they're worried about whatever toxic nonsense they're worried about. I think that it might be like secretly liberating, like, oh, I get to like use the good soap now and

nobody's going to like call me a fluffer because I am a girl or whatever, you know? And so I, I think that it might be like- You're like, I'm going to moisturize for the first time ever. Yeah. Yeah. I think it might open a lot of doors uh for people in the hygiene department um so maybe it would be weird at first and then it would be like oh this this shampoo smells great i'm gonna i'm gonna use it for the first time so now do you think there would be a switch of do you think the women who are now men would try to impose the bullshit that men have imposed on women like do you think do you think the new men would like now embrace catcalling like would we suddenly start making more money i think we would like love the pay bump and i um do i know i mean some would yeah i think some would you know what i

couldn't really blame the ones that do either you know what i mean yeah because it's like you've been subject to something for so long you could forgive them for being like you know what fuck it it's my turn yeah i i think you i think you've got again i think that it would be the same like broad brush of people we currently have. Some people would handle it really well and some people would be super jerks about it. And some people would like have a total heyday and like, that's how people live their lives now. And so the same people who are jerks in their current gender would just be jerks in their new gender. And the same people who are like, I think that the other things about people's personality. So like I do, so this is probably not like as fun of an answer, but, um, I do like a personality

science research and, um, there are a lot of things about our personalities that are a lot more compelling for most people than their gender. And so that's kind of why I think maybe my answer is a little more boring. I just think that like, again, assuming that it wasn't like a Freaky Friday thing where it went back, like we just woke up, if we just woke up and we just were in perpetuity going to be the opposite gender, I think that once people sort of got used to it, we'd just sort of fall into the things in our situations that were a little bit more compelling, like our financial pressure and parenting and, you know, all the things that like make up our personalities in addition to our

genders. And so I just, I just see people like sort of leveling out to like a new normal. You know what I think would change drastically and quickly laws in Texas, for example. Yes. All of a sudden, a lot of really old politicians would be like,

actually, I take that back. Actually, I take that back. And take that back and hmm funny this change of heart now that fucking affects me well it's funny that you bring that up because structurally and in terms of power dynamic nothing would really change other than like what you said when when laws are specifically governing women's bodies but things like ceos would now be predominantly women but would would like do you

think there'd be a shift of then like with the pay gap sort of title pool wave onto the women's side because like women who were once men aren't still the people who are in power like there would be there would be a gender switch in terms of power but not in structure if that makes sense yeah i feel like much like today all the people in power would still fight to keep themselves in power so that probably wouldn't change much i guess i just feel like this question i'm i don't know maybe it would be like a wet blanket here i just feel like this question like leaves a lot of like like do we mean that everybody just switches genitals? Or do we mean that like, gender identities also switch? Like, is which like, is that what we mean? Like, so like,

what about like, the huge amount of people that are gender diverse? Like, where does their gender go? Like, do they just stay in the same spaces? Are they still asking the same questions and like advocating for the same issues, but now everyone around them is like swapped does this only impact cisgender people like i think i need more information to be able to like imagine this society um yeah i mean i think the people outside of the gender binary become our new deities i think well i'm happy to take up that i'm happy to take up that space so but also like that's kind of my problem with the question as well is like there's it assumes a binary almost because just says boys from girls and say with the opposite it's like cool but what about everybody else yeah you know well i'm non

binary so that my first thought was like not to make it all about me but like i i go there very quickly because i think about like of course what do you do when it's not but the other thing i thought of was like let's say it is a one-to-one and let's say that like, like, let's just put the like gender binary question aside for a second. Like, and let's just say that boys become girls, girls become boys is a straightforward question. Those same people were still socialized in their other genders up to that point. Right? Like, do you lose that memory or do you suddenly have the history of socialization of your new gender? Do you know what I mean?

Exactly. There's too many permutations. Also, I guess it's not really sex and dating advice because it's a hypothetical. But we started at the start of the list. It's an interesting conundrum. And it does give us a lot of opportunity to talk about important things so yeah i guess like the it's always a good exercise to be able to like imagine yourself in other people's shoes and like this is this is a chance to do that a little bit i think before we move on let's let's just say tomorrow you wake up and there's a new set of there's

there's another set of genitals that you don't currently have other than masturbating and playing with them what's the first thing you do see either what it fits into or what fits into it right yeah i was gonna say i don't that is masturbating i would say i just don't i i think well because i'm non-binary like i just think i'd be in the same bucket i'm in now of like getting constantly misgendered and like being like I was I think I don't think much would change about my existence except that people would misgender me the other direction um so I think a lot of I think a lot of what would change about me is I would just be totally fascinated with my new body and it would be really cool to see how people treated me

with a new body because right now, I know what it's like to be perceived as a woman and I know what that feeling is like. And that's kind of, I like some things about it and don't like some things about it. So I think it would be really cool. And I do definitely try to like mask my appearance up a lot, like masculinize my appearance a lot,

but there's just only so masculine i can look um and so i i think that like it would be cool to wake up and like be perceived as as truly masculine for a little while like i would actually really love that experience i think that would be kind of a neat way to move through the world for a little while no no you were talking and i think this is a good segue to our next question you were talking about depending on what you had you would be putting things up or putting things in

I didn't say that who said that that was definitely me you know like I remember being like a kid and like getting a boner for the first time and like ejaculating for the first time and like didn't have any good sex education so I didn't have any fucking idea what was happening i was

just like that felt fucking wild and i want to do it again and like legitimately hurt myself trying to figure it out um so i imagine that's exactly what would happen again i'd be on like a subreddit being like and it's funny i'm trying to remember because we definitely came up with two fake genital names back in the day i'm trying to remember what they are to do a fun throwback joke but i cannot remember it it was uh i believe yours was dry bones oh no i think it was a bone i think it was something else but yeah it was dry something it's 100 dry bone and pluribus because that's the name of the pluribus was mine okay so if i had a pluribus i would be on like the pluribus subreddit with like people updating like oh i, I just did this to mine. It feels great.

And like probably 80% would be good posts and probably 20% would be people just fucking like taking the piss and hurting other people's pluribuses. It'd be terrible. I like the assumption that you would have never encountered a pluribus up to that point. Well, if it's a third mystery genital. Oh, if it's a mystery genital oh i see i see i thought this was just like code names for genitals that currently exist and i was like wait no no i'm caught up i'm caught up i believe in the fiction of our podcast the pluribus was a a genital that was not unlike you know the sticky hands you'd get from like the

yes that like 25 cent gosh i believe that was i do not know what it was do not want a pluribus no thank you anyway so this used to be a really good segue and now it's not because but hey guys it's a weird start so far so just keep going this is a question that let me tell you friends i'm I'm just going to read it. Does the penis get stuck inside while you have sex? Is that the whole question? That's it. That's the whole question.

Okay. I want to say that this is not wild for me. Like, I love that, like, like this question can i just interrupt you for a second angel the fact that you said that is wild to me no i said this is not why it's this is not wild for me oh i know but i think you're saying that it's any a wild that's not wild it's wild that is not wild yes yeah so i'm'm very, very excited to see what the next, what the next couple of words out of you are. I just, my inbox looks like this and just because again, we just talked about this, like people have terrible sex education. And so I don't know anything about the age of the person

like asking this or the experience level of the person asking this, but like this is a thing that can happen in like the animal kingdom. And so if you're learning about sex from things like anime or porn or like watching Animal Planet or like a lot of the ways that people learn about sex and you've never experienced it, this is like a super valid question that comes from like most sex ed is fear-based. So it's like, here are all the horrible things that are going to happen to you and your junk if you do the sex. And like, just because nobody mentioned that this is one of them, who knows, right? So the, is my penis going to get stuck? Like the answer is no. Um, well,

I guess it depends on where you put it. But I assume we're asking, is a penis gonna get stuck inside a vagina? Or maybe like an asshole? And like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna very confidently and assuredly say that the answer to that is no. Well, we never heard of penis captivus, because that's the official name for what happens when a penis gets stuck inside somebody. But how long is stuck? So apparently it is ultra rare, like almost non-existent. And a lot of the time they think that it's possibly due to vaginismus and like involuntarily muscle spasming around something and even then it doesn't last long because either one of the partners will you know relax at which

point it will be fine um but i did look this up earlier because i had to know just in case i came on and gave a completely wrong answer like i just did well i i don't i i guess to like i think it's so rare that you didn't give a wrong answer. Okay, cool. Well, and because I was gonna say, what happens when the people involved just relax was going to be my following question, if you hadn't, like said that was the muscle tension and like blood flow creating, like a Chinese finger trap situation is definitely like a thing that can happen, but not like for a length of time where you need to be worried about like seeking medical attention.

Yeah. It basically says like, unless you, yeah, like calm down and it will last for moments at most. Yeah. That I just really liked the name penis captivist. I love that.

It sounds like a Harry Potter spell. It really does. And I was also terrified when i looked it up expecting to be told nothing and then it just said penis captivist in bold on google and i was like like a new fear got added into my like fear library and thankfully was removed quite quickly but for a minute it kind of crawled back inside of me. Now you guys are also assuming that we're talking, like this question just says, while you have sex, it doesn't really specify what you're having sex with. So if you're having sex with a person made of cement, wet cement, and if you wait a little too long, yeah, it's going to get stuck in there. Some sort of like, maybe a jello mold well don't use super glue as lube i think we can there's some advice that's our first advice of the of the episode i feel like also maybe you could get something stuck

on you like if you used like uh like let's say that you used like a like a cock ring or something for a cock ring that wasn't meant to be used for a cock ring and then when your blood flow shifted that could maybe like tourniquet like if you use a condom that's too tight and you get that like dick tourniquet thing which is a real um term and also not fun to think about. But like, it's not again. Just keep sliding things into my fear library. Just keep going. Well, I did a whole video on like condom fit. And that was one of the things where we were like going through

and looking at like, why is it important to have a great condom that fits? And like the idea of like the tourniquet, like we just did like a collective shutter of like, oh, I'm so, so it is important. But again, that's another thing of like, in that case too, it would be temporary and it would be related to blood flow. I imagine you could make it worse if you were on some sort of erectile dysfunction medication,

you know, and then your blood flow was like, if your blood flow kept your boner hard and you were using some sort of thing that was not the right fit for you. But again, all of this would be temporary. Yeah. So I think if you are somehow in this penis captivist situation, just, you know, be calm. Don't worry. Don't panic. And, you know, it will fade.

This will be a funny story one day. I can't imagine. I don't have a penis, but I can't imagine a situation that would make me feel less calm than discovering that my penis was captivist the thing is like the second

I enter any sort of mortal fear or terror let me tell you my dick doesn't get harder so I feel like you're in the... Instant boner killer. Right, yeah. So I think the second there's any sort of fear, I'm like, you know,

if I am having sex with a block of cement that hasn't quite dried yet... Is there something you want to tell us here? Because this is weirdly specific and you keep repeating it. There was a time for you to admit this to me, and it was before we had a guest on, Dane. This is a SpongeBob episode.

Not the penis part, but the block of cement part. Like, yeah, like Squidward gets- Is it when Patrick gets stuck in one of SpongeBob's sponge holes? No, I don't know if I saw that one. No, I'm serious. There's like an episode where Squidward gets, he like rolls into wet cement and it like hardens around him and he ends up like stuck in wet

cement and he gets mistaken for these like weird sea, this like other sea creature and nobody knows it's Squidward in there. And like, that's all I keep seeing in my head is Squidward's bulbousy nose stuck in the wet cement. And it looked like a penis on his face because it does and so now that i that is the image that that is conjured up which is so this is this is something again a tangent here and i i'm not making a case for myself here but have you ever seen the porn where they like encase people in cement no so it's like they get in sort of like a you know like the magician boxes where you like your head and your your legs are out when they saw you in half kind of thing it's kind of like that situation so like a woman would be put in sort

of like a doggy style position and then she gets cemented so that like her just her shoulders and sort of her you know waist down are exposed but the rest is like encased in cement and there's nothing that like terrifies me more than that idea like imagine the sensation of just being trapped there like that that sounds horrible it sounds very bizarre also i've never even heard of this me it's which i think is testament to my porn searches i think that's good i think that's a good sign that it's never come up that it's never been a related video for you yeah maybe the closest thing i can think of is like those vacuum beds you guys have seen those yes yeah yeah i guess yeah vacuum beds it's like uh it's like a it's like a latex or like a silicone

and you like get into it and they put like a little straw in your mouth and it covers you from head to toe. And then they like, uh, use like a vacuum seal, like to suck all the air out of it. And so you're like encased in this PVC, like sealed in, like, like, like a vacuum seal, like chicken breast. And, and so I, I've always, when I've seen those ever, um, I've, I've seen that in real life and that made me watching someone else do it made me feel claustrophobic. So I don't think I would respond well to adding the weight of cement into the equation. I felt like a little quiver when you said, not like a sexy one, like a fear-based one, when you said they put a straw in your mouth because I don't want to just have a straw be my lifeline.

You know what I mean? Yeah. That, that worries me. I think the fear is part of what makes the activity sexy for people. It's definitely like a, an edge play, like kink thing of like, um, uh, it's, there's like a, usually you're, you're doing this with someone else, you're not by yourself. And so you have to really trust the other person and you have to, the fact that it like kind of accelerates your anxiety and your heart rate, your body responds to arousal. I mean, arousal is arousal is arousal. And some people respond to anxiety arousal with like a genital arousal as well. And so I imagine that that's part of what is sexy is that it's a little scary but i did not personally find it to be sexy scary i just found it to be no thank you put it on my no list scary but yeah absolutely

so those people should not fuck cement because they will just get more aroused when i guess yes do we all think that dick tourniquet would make a really good porn star name? Or is that just me? It sounds like a punk band. Dick tourniquet sounds like a garage punk, like, like sex pistols, knockoff band.

You said something wonderful earlier that I was going to say, sound like a really great band name, but everyone was talking and I forgot. It was something like once we get over our new genitals or something, it was, it was a very good line. There's like, that would be a great band.

All right, we should move on. Well, when you listen back and you remember, you'll have to let me know. I'll tweet you it. So this is, this is my favorite question that we've gotten because ever,

not ever, but on this list, I mean, it's up there. It's definitely up there. Okay. This is my favorite question that we've gotten because... Ever? Not ever, but on this list. I mean, it's up there. It's definitely up there. The question is, what is the chance of getting pregnant from swallowing semen, then immediately French kissing your partner, and then them giving you oral sex and fingering you? Oh, so there's definite fluid swaps. So why is that your favorite question?

Because the order of operations here, if this is a legitimate concern you have, just reverse the order. But what if the order of operations has already occurred and now the questions are, oh, oh crap, right? Like what if it's an oh shit question? Okay, so this is, yeah, so they've done it now and then immediately like oh fuck obvious

they can't they can't get in their delorean and undo it and so now they want to know is this like a plan b situation or is this just uh yeah that's fair so i'm gonna let you guys go first this time i feel like we've been talking a lot dang you go so the way i see this is the, the main, I think the main contributing factor is whether or not you have swallowed. So if I'd like, because the way it's happening is, Oh, it's a, it's a swallowing semen.

So then immediately French kissing your partner. And then that partner perform oral sex on you while fingering you. I think the likelihood of you getting pregnant off that is slim. I'm not going to say impossible because, you know, condoms are still only 99% effective. So there's always a chance. But the likelihood of residual semen staying in your mouth and transferred from a kiss and then from that kiss, not only onto your like vulva or labia or clitoris or whatever, and then pushed with enough,

you know, juice to send it all the way inside to inseminate you while fingering, I think is, I think is a stretch. Yeah. Oh, go ahead. No,

I was just going to agree. I was going to say that's verbatim what my answer would have been. Sperm doesn't really survive very long outside of the body. And like, even if you like held the load in your mouth and decided to like actively spit it down and, you know, really tried to do it that way, you'd probably be at the very far end of possibility but like if you're actually swallowing and you're not like immediately going down like all these factors contribute to like less and less possibility less and less sperm that is alive or effective etc it i would imagine much like a captivist penis it's so unlikely that it's not something you need to worry about it makes me feel like the person who asked this question saw one of those rube goldberg machines you know those are yes and was like hey what's the craziest fucking way we can get pregnant

and was like this this could be it it it sounds like someone who did you know that um only only 18 states require that if sex education is given it has to be medically accurate that seems like a wild thing to exist because it's like what the fuck is the point of medically inaccurate sex like uh i mean i'm not surprised yeah at all there's this belief that if we scare the children, they will not do the sex. And yet 55% of people in the US have sex before they turn 18. And so we know that like the fear doesn't keep us from doing the thing. It just makes us more less likely to use protection. It makes you feel bad while you're doing it. Yes. It makes you feel scared. It gives you a lot of shame and it makes you like

unsure about how to take care of your body and take care of your partners. And so this sounds like one ways to do the sex that are as risk-free as possible because they don't want to have these horrible outcomes that they're taught that are going to happen. And so it sounds like a, is this a really safe... It sounds like they actually maybe don't think that they can get pregnant this way. They just really want to make sure. If we're doing oral sex and there's lots of oral sex happening and there's body fluids exchanged in the oral sex. Now your bigger concerns, there are like different STIs and things, but definitely this does not sound like a, like a pregnancy risk scenario in any way. And if anybody is to ever get pregnant doing this set of things in this order,

by all means, call me, I'll pay your hospital bills. Like there's just no like way that that's going to happen. I would just be floored. I'm not really going to pay your hospital bills. Especially not if you're in America. Right. I was going to say, we can't afford that. But no, I just, yeah. I mean, when you said, oh, that's so unlikely as to be like not worth discussing. Like I, and if you're super, super, super worried about your pregnancy risk, if you did behavior and bodily fluids were exchanged and you just have doubt about your pregnancy risk, take a plan B pill there. You can get them on Amazon. And, um, plan B is not an abortion pill. It will not keep a pregnancy. It will not end a pregnancy. It'll keep a pregnancy from occurring in the

first place. And so you have three days to take it after the exchange of the bodily fluids. And so if there's like a piece of you that's like, I don't know if I trust those people on that Fuck Buddies podcast. And so maybe I'm still pretty nervous. Just order yourself a plan B off the Amazon with the prime shipping or go get it out of the, like some of the drugstores have like vending machines for them and everything. So they're not hard to get these days. You know, I don't know where you're at in the world, but different spaces will give them right to you even.

So I would say just to be extra safe if you're not sure plan b it up and and again if you are really that worried about it like do it backwards go go down on her first finger her first then make out and then you know yeah it's like and then and then if you really if this is the the preferred way that you guys want to get off, great. Just you completely eliminate the risk. If the last thing you do is the swallowing is like, if semen is, is the last thing and has no opportunity to get anywhere near a vagina, you're not going to get pregnant.

100%. And I just like that order of operations anyway. Like let's prioritize a female pleasure, right? Like I'm, I'm here for that that we're huge supporters of that so you know yeah oddly enough i feel like this is a a good sign of a male partner because most dudes who you know wants to get a blow job they're done they're tired yeah you know the hands

are our wives to be like oh thanks a lot so the fact that this guy is, you know, one, making out with the partner who just swallowed his semen, and then proceeding to, you know, reciprocate, good for you, but if this is a concern, flip it around. Bingo. I mean, it's a low bar, but we'll give him a cookie. Yeah, he's doing at least the bare minimum, which sadly

is not very common. Exactly. So the next question is, and we've talked about this a lot, I feel like lately, and I can't, we had a very wild recording schedule this past month, and I can't remember if this was on our Patreon podcast or not.

So we're going to talk about it briefly here. I'm 90% sure it was. I think it was too. This is, should I go on a second date with a man who let me pay for my meal on the first date what is that question oh sorry i don't i hate sounding judgy when people ask questions but that one gets me um why i think what i think we've also kind sorry just very quick i think we've also been a little judgy earlier on the questions and i think a lot of that comes from

the fact that i have no idea where they came from. You know what I mean? Like that, like, it just seems very funny because the list kind of every question sounds so different that like, if I knew they were from like a teen, or if I knew they were from like the internet, I'd be able to treat them appropriately. So I think a lot of the funniness just, I have no idea where they're coming from. I think it's okay that we have a sense of humor around them i just get in that i just try to be in the practice of like withholding judgment but that one this one is this as a dating question um maybe it's just because i

operate with a different set of um like a different view of my of like the exchange with like finances and gender. Like I just, so, so the question is, should I go on a second date? I assume I say making an assumption, but I'm assuming that the, do,

do we assume it's a woman asking the question? I would assume so just based on like the exchange, like the indignation over the exchange, because I don't feel like that comes into play in any other circumstance or at least as much. So I guess it depends on, okay. Okay. I guess I let's, let's, let's talk about like some dating etiquette. I want to hear what you guys think. Does the person who asked for the date, is that person, is there an expectation that that person will either foot the bill or arrange to go Dutch, that that person will handle the emotional labor of the money conversation? As I've mentioned before in previous iterations of this conversation is, yes, I feel like if I invite someone out for drinks or dinner or something, then I expect to pay. But I've also mentioned before in the past too,

where I know that I date women and I know that there are women who don't like the, you know, the dollar sign hanging over their head as, you know, ammunition at a later date or exchange, because I know there are, there are some shitty dudes out there who are,

you will pull the card of being like, well, I paid for dinner. So, you know, like maybe you should will pull the card of being like, well, I paid for dinner. So, you know, like maybe you should come back to my, so like, I understand that some women don't want that as,

as something that could come up later. So if a woman insists or at least mentions that, like she would like to split it or go, go Dutch on a date, I will usually insist once and be, and like reassure and be like, thank you. I appreciate the offer. It is very nice of you, but I asked you out. I would love to pay. be and like reassure and be like, thank you. I appreciate the

offer. It is very nice of you. But I asked you out, I would love to pay. It is my treat tonight. If again, she mentions that she's not comfortable with it. You know, I will be like, okay, cool, then we'll split it because I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. I know people have money insecurities as well. So I don't want to put anyone out or make feel and make anyone feel uncomfortable. But at the same time, I understand that there is also like the social you know graces of the dance of the let me know let me kind of thing so like i understand that i appreciate it if they're doing it to be polite but i do sort of insist on a on a date especially if i've asked you out that i will take care of it yeah i think especially for the first date as well, like if you're inviting somebody out,

I think like it makes sense. Like it's only fair really for you to cover it. Like as things progress and as it's less of a like, hey, let me take you out or meet me here and it's more collaborative, then it can drop off a bit. But I definitely think first date especially. That was all really insightful stuff.

And I would have have i agree completely i i'm thinking too i wish people did a better job just communicating with each other like i wish that it was like hey can i take you to dinner is different than would you like to have dinner with me right like can i can i take you to dinner if somebody said to me can i take you to dinner and then handed me the bill that would probably irk me a little bit because can I take you to dinner implies that they want to buy me dinner. But, um, like it seems like a very direct invitation that they would like to take me out. But if they said, Hey, would you like to have dinner with me? And then when the bill came, there was like a, who's who, like, who's this sort of dance, that might be like, I might not have expected it, but I think it would be, I would be like a lot less weirded out or like feel confronted by it. But I date queer people too. And so I, queer dating, like the rules are maybe

a little bit different. Maybe, maybe there is a little bit more clear, like maybe not. I don't know. I, maybe I don't like to be put in a situation where I don't know what's going to happen. And so I do tend to like, I try to make sure that if I'm saying yes to a first date, I've got enough money to like cover my stuff, you know, or whatever. Or, you know, if somebody is like, I wait for them to say it's on me before I assume it's not, you know, or whatever, that we're not going Dutch. But if it was like, if it wasn't set up front and it was sort of ambiguous, and then when the bill came, maybe the person got up and left to go to the bathroom and so sort of left you with the bill and you made the choice to pay.

I want to know how that conversation went. Did you say like, hey, do you want to go Dutch? And the person was like, no. Then again, I don't know if I would want to go back out with that person just because that seems like a weird presumptuous like, you know what I mean? That they just assumed you were paying. But if you just paid it and they let it happen, it sounds like, is it passive aggressive that you paid it? Like if you didn't want to pay the bill or if you didn't want to buy their meal and you were only comfortable, like, I guess I just want, I don't know enough about like what went down to assume that it just would be completely deal breakery

for a second date. So the things that stuck out to me are the terminology of who let me pay for my meal. So let me implies to me that like they offered and my meal implies that it's only like you know kind of their portion that's like if you offer and someone's like oh sure thank you i don't think you can turn around and be pissed off yeah i get that sometimes the offer is like not necessarily genuine but it's like i don't think you should ever then be annoyed if you do offer and someone takes you seriously on it yeah but like i said in my example like again if i i will never try to supersede someone's uh you know desire with my with what i want to do in the sense is why I will,

like, I will insist only once because like it, we live in a time where like, we should respect, like hopefully that if, if someone is saying something that they're being honest and they're not playing some like weird gender role, like bullshit game of being like,

Oh, it's actually my role as the woman to be like, you know, Oh, let me pay. And then it's your role as the man to be like, no, no, no. And I, oh, it's actually my role as the woman to be like, you know, oh, let me pay. And then it's your role as the man to be like, no, no, no. And I don't I feel like that might have happened in this situation where she kept insisting being like, no, please, please let me please let me. And the guy was like, all right. Like if you want to, because like I, I, I would never tell someone, especially a woman that like they can't do something or have some sort of like say over how something goes down.

See, I, I think it was like, I'm, I'm imagining a scenario where there was one offer to pay. And instead of doing the, like, come back and say, no, no, let me get it. The person just let it happen. That's the scenario. I'm, I'm assuming that, and I don't know if it's, so like, we have to think about things like, like cultural influences, like where are they at in the world? And like certain like different cultural communities handle ideas about like what's macho and feminine in different ways. And like, so there are like expected rules of engagement. And so, you know, I'm, I'm making some assumptions, but a scenario where this question seems reasonable to me is a scenario where there are some sort of expectations about what dating looks like. And like when I was growing up, I grew up in, I grew up in a very

religious conservative environment where if I was going out, there was an expectation that like a man would pay for things. And so I might offer and say, oh, you know, I can get mine to be nice. But that passive aggressiveness was part of like respectability culture. And then there was an expectation that the man would come back and say, no, no, no, I've got it. And so if I offered once and then the man said, okay, and then I ended up paying, again, I don't know if that would be like a deal breaker for me because I did offer, but I do think like I might notice it or have at the time. And so I can imagine a scenario where it would definitely catch someone off guard to like offer to pay and then be like, quote unquote,

they let you pay. I can imagine a scenario where that's happening and where the person feels a little like that was an unexpected exchange. But I guess to me that unless they were otherwise also a jerk or they were like a bigot or they were like, unless they were some other deal breaker. To me, I don't see that as a deal breaker. But I mean, I guess I don't, I can't make deal breaker decisions for other people. I just know like if someone was coming to me, I would say like, don't lose out on a great person because they took you at your word. If anything, that's a person who's a straight shooter. That's a person who's a direct communicator. Have you guys ever heard of the concept of like ask culture and guest culture?

Yeah. Yeah. And so you've got – what it sounds like to me is you've got one person who's ask culture and one person who's guest culture. And if it's going to be a large incompatibility for you that like that guest culture isn't there, maybe you have to think about that. But I would do a second date and see how that went to feel it out. Like, is it a compatible? Yeah. So if anything,

it seems like a second date for science, like just see, do the experiment again. Yes. Yeah. Cause that's the thing. I feel like it's not like, again,

as you say, it's hard to say what deal breakers are for other people. Everyone has their own limits. I think like objectively, this doesn't seem like a terrible thing. You know, it sounds like you've offered and it like objectively, this doesn't seem like a terrible thing. You know, it sounds like you've offered and it's like they took you at your word. They were straight up.

And also, I guess like, yeah, there they could be bad, could be not bad. I don't think it's a deal breaker. I think, as you said, for science, do a second date, see how that goes. Figure out if those incompatibilities stretch further or whether it was just like a one time miscommunication. You know, because again, like there's a number of reasons why you might not want to take the bill. Like maybe it ended up being a little bit more expensive than you realize and someone offered and you were like relieved, or maybe you didn't want to seem pushy and like shitty or, you know, there's a million different things. So go out again, unless there are other red flags. I did have, this makes me think of a story

this is like a little personal story i did have a partner one time and this was a longer term partner who had like said that they were going to take me on a trip and so they planned this whole trip and then took me on the trip and then i think didn't expect things to be as expensive when we got there and so started asking me to like pay for half the trip once we got there oh no and that was not because everything was a surprise so until we got there. And that was not because everything was a surprise. So until we got where we were going, and it was like an out of town thing, and it was like multi day. And so I didn't have the chance to like financially prepare to be on a trip. And so I guess make the choices on what to do in the trip. Like, yes, yeah, the whole thing.

And so I loved that they took initiative. And I loved that they like planned this thing. And I don't think it was I think they had intended to take care of everything and then it just snuck up on them. And so I think they like wanted to do this nice thing. And then instead they were like wanting to go Dutch, like for most of it. And I remember being really caught off guard by that because I was like, oh, like this is the way that it got worded was like, let me take you to do this thing and let me do this nice thing for you.

And I was like, just barely starting like my grad school work at the time. And so I was like, you know, poor grad student, you know, and I was, and so it worked out and it was fine. But I remember that scenario feeling a little like if this was earlier in the relationship, this might have signaled some incompatibility because of the lack of like conversation around the financial burden that a long trip can hold for people. But that's different than like one dinner, one night. And a dinner can be expensive, but, and we want to be aware of people's financial limitations. But that, it makes me think of that story of like kind of being stuck in this out-of-town space and the bill arriving and then being like hey can we go

dutch and i'm like fuck sure yeah that sucks because you're like literally trapped you're not home yeah yeah yeah like i guess we can so yeah there was definitely some conversations around it after we got back from our trip yeah that's fair let's squeeze in one more question because i think this is i think this is a spicy question of the episode a friend of mine asks me to make her pregnant she wants to raise a child alone i accepted and we kind of scheduled the thing how should i handle the act not to make things weird afterwards should we make love or just the minimum? I'll take this one because I threw the last one on you, Dan.

So firstly, instead of asking us, ask them. Right out of my mouth, you took those words. That's exactly what I was going to say. Like we say this a million times on the podcast. We will say it a million times more. Communication is key. And like already I can, maybe it's just me reading into the text,

but we kind of scheduled the thing. that doesn't sound like communication's happening at all you have scheduled it or you haven't you know what i mean wouldn't that be a horrible miscommunication right and like on top of that it's like i feel like you know communication is key no matter what but like in a situation like this where it's like you're giving you're getting somebody pregnant, they're going to raise your child alone. It's like that alone, if you haven't really communicated the parameters, there is a recipe for fucking disaster, let alone the actual, you know, act. But I would 100 percent talk to them and see what they're comfortable with, because like, you know know it sounds kind of transactional at this point and it's like you know it's it's their body it's it's your body you guys are the ones who should be setting these parameters right like i could say anything and it could be totally against

what they want so yeah go talk to them i you know i i like to tell people that consent is not like a contract but in this particular case this is a situation that actually requires some paperwork. Oh yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah. And so I think that like when you're having the very necessary contract negotiations that you need to have to make this a viable situation for

everyone involved, I think it's great that you want to help your friend out. And I think it's, you know, having a really thorough level conversations many, many times over a length of time to make sure that we all know what we're saying yes to and getting things in writing for sure. And even then expecting to like have changes of heart and mind as you go through it, because this is a very emotional thing. I think that like, um, if you're asking for advice on whether or not the transaction should be transactional or should be loving, my thing that I would ask you to consider is what kind of feelings are you inviting in?

And so if you're considering a more romantic transaction, which is totally within everybody's rights to consider, consider that this is a very emotional situation to be in in the first place. And if that's okay with you, and if you're okay with inviting those feelings, like sex does things to our hormones and pregnancy will do things to hormones. And so there is a possibility that you're already going to be in an emotionally sticky situation. And so having a more romantic and like loving interaction may just, there will be additional emotional things to consider so that when you're having the discussion with them, not us, that is something to consider is what level of emotionality do we want? Do we want something that feels kind of cold and transactional or do we want, like, are we a warm and loving friendship?

And is that something we want to invite in? Yeah. I mean, it's, it's not a hard, I mean, it's a difficult question, but like, there are also things to consider in terms of like, what kind of friend is this? Is this, you know, someone you chat with at work? Is this someone that you hang out with regularly? Is this, you know, like a friend of a friend? There's a bunch of things you need to sort of like figure out because I can think of like three different female friends

that, you know, could ask this of me. And I have a very different relationship with all three of them. And you also have to understand of the fact of like pregnancy it doesn't just happen sometimes it takes more than one try so you also have to understand that like this might not be a one-time situation because you might get lucky and yes you know maybe maybe you just have to have sex once and that works and she gets pregnant after that one time but like ask you know any couple that's tried to have kids, sometimes it's not that easy. So you also have to understand, or at least negotiate of being like, well,

is this a one-time thing that we're going to try once? And if it works, it works, hooray. And we move on. Or is this a, am I, you know, are we entering into a relationship of we're going to do this in however many different ways and on whatever schedule that we need to do it in order for this to be successful for you. It could get messy otherwise. Oh yeah. Well, and it's also going to, we have to talk about, we have, they have to talk about, like discuss like what happens if someone, when someone catches feelings and those aren't reciprocated, like what does that look like? Because even just if, even if it's like one or two times of the sex before the pregnancy happens, there's a very high probability that you guys will not be on the same page throughout the whole process, like emotionally speaking. And so when the baby's born, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All of it. Like, if you're friends, and you have to see this kid and know that it's yours. Oh, yeah. So what do you do? There has to be open communication on what happens when you will, someone will feel things and those feelings will need to be discussed. And so I know the heart behind this question is, are we keeping it cold or are we letting it be warm? I think it doesn't matter. Let's say you go with the cold route.

It doesn't matter how icy cold the sex is. I don't think it's possible to get through this whole scenario without exchanges of emotion here. And so I think if we're trying to avoid exchanges of emotion, just assume that it's going to be wildly unexpected and they're going to catch you off guard. And like, what is your game plan for when that happens? I think like a few things to consider is like one, if you are worried that things are going to get weird afterwards, maybe don't do this. Right. If that's a big concern for you,

like don't do it. Maybe. Secondly, there's a world of different actions between making love and the minimum. On top of that, someone's, someone's minimum is not everyone else's minimum. You know what I mean?

So it's like, I don't know what he has in mind, but like some minimums are really bad. We're also ignoring the obvious solution here where you don't have to have sex. You just come in her mouth. You may get with her. Just put it in there.

Yes, back to the first question. And it came full circle. What a beautiful way to wrap that up. It's the easiest way to do it. Now, Angel, I don't know if you're in a rush to get out of here or not. But at the end of the episode, we like to peruse online dating and take a look at Tinders and profiles and hinge profiles. Would you like to join us for that? That sounds like fun. I mean, I can't visualize anything, so you'll have to walk me through it, but yeah. Oh, it's okay. We, we tend to, uh, specifically only deal with the, the written text because we don't like to,

you know, mock anyone's physical appearance. Yeah. It's just pure bios, you know, unlike bios are something that are definitely under your control. Yes, yes, yes. And people should really take more time with them. Oh, they really fucking should. And you know what? They regularly don't. Which is why it's fun for us. I mean.

So I'm going to start us off because I think this ties in really well for our last question. This is Sarah. She's 29 and her profile just says ovulating. Oh, that's it. So. Damn, you know what what 10 out of 10 for humor as a dating profile maybe maybe maybe a two yeah i mean well okay sarah is a very clear broadcaster and is making

sure that she gets what she wants i feel like sarah was hacked. I feel like Sarah's little brother found her dating website and is like, haha, I'm on to you. Like, I don't know. This just feels like I can't imagine that that is a sincere effort. You gotta give it a rating. It's out of 10.

And 10 is the best dating profile ever and what is it, like zero? You can go into the minuses. We regularly do. Oh yeah. This is like a solid zero. Like I can't,

there's, that's how much effort Sarah put in. So that's the writing she gets. I like it. I like her. All right. Well, this is Nicola environmental visual communicator,

tree planter, artist new to the city and need to explore. God, this bio sucks is that the whole bio yep and that was her saying it sucked not me oh i was like wow that was such a strong reaction oh yeah no that's her that's her text not me at all god this bio sucks i don't think you should you know how there's like a rule of public speaking where you shouldn't tell the audience you're nervous like i think that i think that we've made this faux pas here a little bit.

Like, don't tell people it sucks. Let them come to that conclusion on their own. A hundred percent. It's like, it's so sad because it's not the worst. You know, as we just saw, it's a little better than ovulating. It is a little better than that. But like, it's such a weird thing to put in there because Because one, it's like, if it sucks, change it. Right?

Like, you have the power here. And two, it's weirdly like, you're just like demeaning yourself already. You're talking yourself down. I get that self-deprecation is like humor. But this is not landing. No. I give it like a three. Okay.

I'm going to do the same thing. I think a three is... Generous. Yeah. Yeah. You you know i probably would have been a two but like there's just like that pity one from from that last line where i'm like yeah oh bless your heart at least you're self-aware yeah um this is brenna dating me is like ordering 10 chicken wings but getting 11 oh i love it i. That's a big promise to make, Brenna. Yeah.

One, great thing. Two, great humor. Three, she likes chicken wings. Yeah. I think it's a tall order to live up to, though. I don't know. I mean, that's, okay. Is it, though?

I mean, how much, I understand we like chicken wings, but chicken wings aren't, like, bliss. Like, that's a really appropriate level of joy to set up if you know you're a delight like you would be i'm in i give brenna like an eight for that that's that's just that's cute and funny and playful and doesn't take herself too seriously but it's like i expect you i am a delight and i'm going to tell you about it and like i i would i would swipe is it right I would swipe right on, on,

on Brenna. Yeah. Yeah. It's got the confidence. It's got the humor. It's great. I love it. I'm going to give it,

I can give it an eight as well. I'm going to give it a nine. Dan does really love chicken wings. So I love chicken wings, but I'm not going to get a 10 because there's that one that, that, you know, 10% chance that she set herself up for failure.

She's not a delight. Yeah. She tanks the first date. Yeah. Okay. This is Rafi. And this is a lady. A group of ferrets is called a business.

So when someone says they're taking care of business, they're really just taking care of a bunch of ferrets. It's an easy 10 for me. And she actually went to my university as well, even though she was found over here. So there you go. Point for that. That's the kind of shit they taught us. I love it. It's very endearing.

It's very funny and endearing. I'm going to give it an, I'm going to give it an eight. Yeah. I'm, I'm also, you know, I think I'm going to do nine just cause I get the feeling they really love animals too.

And I like that. It's just great. Nine. Yeah. It's an easy 10 for me. I don't need anything more than that. It's very adorable. So,

uh, this is Andrea. I want something to take me on a date that they put thought and effort into, and I want it to be sweet and romantic. I want to sit across from them in awe of how great and charming they are i want them to kiss me and make me feel dizzy but this is tinder so i'd appreciate if you don't open with sit on my face smiley face 11 like that is the most relatable and i don't know if i'm her target audience but that is the most relatable like dating profile ever i'm gonna put exactly what i want but please just don't be a creep

and like i i i think it's i think it's fantastic yeah it's very good yeah i'm gonna i'm giving it a 10 as well because it uh at first i was like if it if without the like the punchline at the end there i would have cringed really hard and then the punchline won the end there, I would have cringed really hard. I was cringing. And then the punchline won me over. Yeah. I was ready to be like, wow, this person seems like a lot. And then I was like, oh, a lot of humor. A lot of fun.

Yeah. It's a 10. Yeah. Yeah. Well, especially because it's Tinder. On a different app, the sincerity of part like you know she had us in the first half like i i think that that belongs somewhere else and so that's why i was a little like i don't know if that's a tinder profile but like that closer that she knows exactly what her audience is like i have helen three things i'm proud of being me i do not play i give my best and when

i choose you it's only you sweet as sugar hard as ice hurt me once i'll kill you twice swipe left if you're looking for fun oh no not even sex fun i assume that's what they mean but yeah i know this doesn't come off well. Wait, no. I thought swipe left meant you didn't want it. Yeah. So like say no if you want fun. Say no to me if you want something fun because I am not fun. I am a ferret.

I am serious business. I'm serious business. Oh, that is... Well, okay. There are definitely people out there looking for that kind of energy in their exchange. And so it sounds like she knows exactly who she's looking for. And I bet she gets exactly the type of interactions that she's summoning with that.

So for accuracy, I'm going to give it like a seven. I think it's very deliberate overall it's very alarming and jarring and so i was freaked out by that but i think that was the point i think it like part of me loves that this person has their own personalized murder rhyme they they have to have that tattooed on them somewhere right sweet as sugar hard as ice hurt me once i'll kill you twice that's wonderful and absolutely terrifying and as someone who does like fun i feel like this is a four three a three wow that's that's generous i'm giving this a zero oh i wouldn't go near this this whole situation if you paid me to see i appreciate the murder rhyme but from a safe distance yeah no i get like a very intense like almost dominatrixy type of vibe from it

like i like like you know some people are really into like erotic humiliation and so i like i said i feel like she knows who's out there looking for it. And so I think that's why she gets extra points for, like, just going balls out and, like, committing. I think doms are more fun than this, though. Oh, it's a very specific type of thing. I'm not saying, like, all, not all doms. I'm saying, like, look, there's a very specific market for what she is selling. And she seems to have identified.

I hope. I'm giving her a lot of credit. I really hope. I appreciate it. And the thing is, like, one of the most, like, common complaints we have about things is that, like, you don't show your personality. And, like, I guess that we don't know what you're looking for necessarily. And to her credit, we get both those things. Yes, we do. Hence the three credit, we get both those things. So hence the three.

All right. I love it. This is my last one. This is Sienna queer social work student, but I can out drink you trying to get railed, but a nice date would be good too. I like that. I find that to be a very middle of the road,

like very straightforward, not like a, that's like road, like very straightforward, not like a, that's like a, like a five for me. I like just the straightforwardness, you know, I feel like a lot of people tend to dance around like sex on like their profiles.

So the fact that they're like able to be straight up about it to a degree is, is fun. So like seven, uh, I'm going to split the difference and go six because I feel like I agree with both of you. I like that.

I think it's a good point, the, like, being straightforward about sex. And so, that didn't put me off. It just... I didn't... Yeah, I don't know. I wasn't impressed. That's cool. Yeah, it's a little bland, but... Yeah. But hey, you know what she's asking for exactly right

and i appreciate that now this one is is not bland uh this is ellie and this is gonna be my last one definitely not three raccoons in a trench coat big serial killer energy almost always planning my next nap i'm not a bad person i just don't care about your travel stories. I made a face. Like I literally cringed. Yeah, I'm probably making the same face you are. Like a two, I guess. It lost me after the first line, for sure. Yeah.

Maybe a two is too high. Serial Killer Energy, I'm kind of four. because nine times out of ten they're pretty charismatic yeah i mean the thing is i bet you that's not what she means yeah i was gonna say she's kind of like i'm charming like ted bundy like yeah because if you're charming you would know that saying that isn't charming exactly i mean i guess the thing is it's like i guess you could go one way it's like are you serial killer energy are you charming like ted bundy are you you know making a nipple vest like at gaines so i guess yeah okay i retract my statement i'm gonna give this a zero yeah i even just like i don't care about your travel stories it's like that's such a vague thing to hate because like not all travel stories are equal you know what i mean

right that's like imagine just being like oh i was and just like oh shut up it's like what else do you not care about that just seems like you are in fact a bad person because like that travel story is no different to uh what that didn't work today story to uh like you know here's the dog i saw at the park story okay i'm doing a zero a zero too. Yeah. I'm changing my answer. Zero. Well, thank you very much friends. And thank you angel for joining us today.

It has been a pleasure. We love doing this and it's even more fun when we have an extra special guest who is as fun as you. Yeah. Nice. Thank you for having me. This was wonderful. Hey, anytime.

Niall and I will be doing a recurring column on tickle.life in which we will be doing much the same of what we usually do and answering sex and dating questions. So if you want to, you know, have something in writing instead of on audio, you can submit your questions to tickle.life. But I don't know how much we haven't really, you know, put into to fine print everything. So don't know if you have more to to share with no yeah i mean that's pretty much it that's the column i will be involved a little bit um just uh helping with uh if if there's like any kind of like accuracy situation that like i can gently like assist with like i will be helping with that I mean, you guys are like a pretty insightful bunch and it's a lot of fun. And so I don't know how much I get to like commentate

on things we haven't, again, it hasn't like all been totally finalized, but I know that I get to be like involved a little bit, which I was really excited about. I was like, please let me sign me up. Um, so, uh, I, I make, I'm looking forward to the column. I'm looking forward to, to doing whatever I can to be helpful and be a good resource to you all and to, to everybody reading. And so, but yeah, please, if you're listening, please write in and let, let Daniel like answer your questions so I can read their amazing answers. Oh yeah.

I'm excited. You're going to be working with us. Yeah, that's exciting. If you have a question for us or would like to support the show, head on over to fbuddiespodcast.com. You can click on either the contact form to shoot us a message or any of our social media, or you can jump on over

to our Patreon page and sign up there to help support the show. If you donate with the two higher tiers, you get a free or an extra bonus content episode every month called pillow talk thank you josh eagle and the harvest cities for their song paper stars all right now hit us with some bad sex writing so this one's short it's it's it's snappy it's

brief and you know what it uh weirdly fits into uh it weirdly fits into what we did today so it's a screenshot of the article or sorry the title of an article that's called Four Exercises That'll Make Your Vagina So Tight It Becomes a Dick Guillotine. Sorry. Sorry. I wasn't ready. Sorry.

No one's ready for that. Well, one more word for the fear vocabulary. Yep, another addition to that. My name is Dave Miller. And I'm Niles Spain. And I'm Angel Russell. And we've been your fuck buddies.