F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 164 - Batman Voice Seduction

Episode Date: November 22, 2021

This episode we practice our Batman voices because we all know that's the only voice women respond to.  Topics include cat litter feng shui, how to compliment a penis other than size, over analyzing completely normal interactions, disclosing mensuration status, how to protect your girlfriend from the suave barista and curbing a rising exhibitionist.

I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. Hello friends, my name is Dane Miller. And I'm Niles Spain. And we are your fuck buddies. We are a dating and sex advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations and turn them into sexy, sticky situations.

Simply put, we're a sex and dating advice podcast where we answer questions either found online or sent in by our wonderful listeners. On top of sex and dating. Why did you say we were a sex and dating advice podcast again? Hmm? You never say that. I have have been recently i don't know either way can we can we hammer home enough i don't know because if we spend another 10 minutes talking about something there's nothing to do with it maybe they'll get confused i mean that's true i can't talk about pants again hey speaking of which did you get your pants i'm so glad we we have a followup to our hit pants.

So I, I know I never went back and got them. They're not half off anymore. Fuck it. Um, I've got a new, so they were short. God damn it.

Um, have you, I don't know if you've seen this trend. There's apparently like a Chinese version of Tik TOK and I don't remember what it's called, but people are making their nostrils sing. And let me tell you, they draw like two little little eyes like two little dots above one of their nostrils and then the the bottom like the the nostril part is the mouth and let me tell you it is my new obsession okay well one send send them my way two should we finally get a t a TikTok account and be like the first people to bring it to TikTok?

Oh, no, it's already on TikTok. Well, what even? This is a terrible board meeting, Dane. This is not going to generate any revenue for us whatsoever. Because the one thing you want to do when you're cranking out the big numbers is podcasting. Yeah, 100%. That's the only reason we got into this mess.

Hey, man, Joe Rogan's making money. Yeah. Guys, why aren't we Joe Rogan yet? Why aren't we Joe Rogan? Well, I can think of a couple of reasons why we're not Joe Rogan. I think we have to deny science a little bit more. Yeah, I'm okay with all of those reasons. But speaking of turning a profit, if you would like to support the show,

now is a great time to do it. You can head on over to fbuddiespodcast.com, click the Patreon link, and it'll bring you to the Patreon page in which you can choose whatever works for you. And if you donate at the $7, or pledge at the $7 level,

you get a free episode, a free bonus episode every month called Pillow Talk. Yeah. And if you don't, Dane can't feed his family, so, you know. Yeah, do you want my cat to starve? The cat he birthed? Yeah.

You ready? Yeah, let's do it. Speaking of cats, this is the most perfect Dane question ever. This is by Penguin Legos. Might have a hookup coming over, but I'm nervous about what's in my bedroom. My ex decided to adopt a cat three years ago and put the litter box in our bedroom. It's never bothered me before, but she's moved out now and I have the cat since I'm a more responsible adult.

I always keep it clean. My room never smells, according to me and some of my friends who stopped by. Recently, I started worrying because I never thought twice about whether or not a litter box being in a bedroom was a bad thing. It's a covered one with a filter in it. I'm always keeping it clean and tidy, and there's never any messes or smells. But I'm worried about what other potential dates or hookups might think. Is this a red flag or turn off? I don't want to weird anyone out, but I've never thought of it before.

Now, this is an interesting question. I've never kept my litter box in the bedroom. I would say right now is the closest the litter has ever been into my bedroom. It is in like the hall attached to my bedroom. I think if you're keeping it clean and it's somewhere out of the way and it's not sort of like in a prominent display spot or as best you can. Apartments are small these days and you're a single dude. I get it. I think as long as you're keeping it clean and you're keeping it sort of out of the way you're golden.

I think for most people having like walking in and seeing a dude who's taking care of a cat and keeping on litter, I think that's going to be a subliminal turn on. Most people probably won't clock it, but I think they'll be appreciative like in the back of their mind, be like, oh, okay, he's tidy. Yeah, I think obviously a big stinky cat shit is going to be a real big, you know, mood killer. But if that's not the case, I think only a weird person would come in, see it and freak out. And that's probably the kind of person you don't want to fuck anyway, because you have a cat.

Like if they're upset by the fact that cats need to shit at some point, like, you know, do you really want them around? Also, can you just move the litter box somewhere? That's you don't want to do that to cats too much. But like for the hour or whatever that they might be coming over, the cat will survive. They'll figure it out. You know what I mean? Like they're not going to

shit all over the place or explode by holding it. Yeah, if you really want to. The only problem is, is is there a better place to put it? I would say moving it to like the kitchen or you know, I mean,

like you'd have to find some place that isn't weirder than it already is. Yeah, and also, I guess, keep your roommates in like consideration because like i assume you only have it in your bedroom because you live with other people and don't want to like or you don't have the room to have it in like a hallway or something yeah um but if you do

want to make a permanent switch you have to move the litter box a few inches at a time each day towards a new location so as not to upset your cat is that like actual rules that's an actual thing yeah cats get very upset if you just move their litter box and often we'll just shit in the same place maybe out of spite maybe out of confusion i don't know if that's true i've moved my cat's litter box before like i've had renovations and shit done where in rooms where their litter box and i've just moved them into another room and they've managed just fine okay weird yeah i i looked it up just because i was gonna say just fucking move it and i've just moved them into another room and they've managed just fine okay weird yeah i i looked it up just because i was gonna say just fucking move it and i was like maybe you know

i think a couple inches a day is a bit extreme i think i'm sorry do you think boxycat.com would lie to me dude is this do you think it would fucking lie to me dude right like you're gonna say that you're gonna get sued man boxycat is everywhere boxy cat big boxy cat um yeah i think you're fine also i hate to break it to you but your cat is gonna take a giant shit the second you're about to get hot and heavy that is what cats do that is the way that luck works i'm sorry but you're gonna have to deal with it because he or she will decide the second you're about to like go down on this lovely person. Uh, your cats can be like,

Hey, let me just, let me just evacuate all the foul shit that I've eaten today. And, and just stink up your room because that is literally what cats do. They know, they know what they're doing and they, they,

they will fuck your shit up. Yeah. So give it a move and make sure your place smells good easy simple we did it also everyone has a fucking pet these days like nine times out of ten i'm sure you're gonna go over to a girl's house and like they're also going to have some sort of animal that they understand comes with the occasional smell but i've i've gone over to women's houses and they're like litter box has been like overflowing. And I've been like, you know what I mean?

And I'm just like, I want to clean this for your cat. You're a bad cat owner. Yeah. But yeah, I think, I think keeping it clean and keeping it, uh,

you know, tidy is, is enough of a, of a green flag to show that you are a responsible and clean human being yeah so like if you can't move it just make sure like there's not a chance that smells bad in your room because in general no matter what it is your room fucking smells that's gonna be a downer move it move it and then you know you won't have cat shitting just before you put it in because as dane said they they've got perfect timing. They will do it.

100%. Yeah. Alright hit me. This is Valeria Valentina VV. Advice on dating someone with a bellow. I'm assuming they mean below. Below average penis. I've been dating a guy.

Penis just bellows. Like. Maybe it is a. An average screaming penis. Typical. I've been dating a guy. He's really sweet and I really like him for almost two months. And we've had sex a couple of times, but I feel like he's really self-conscious about the length of his penis.

I kind of don't care if he has a small penis. Sex is still really fun. But I was wondering if I should act as if he has a bigger penis to boost his confidence. Or does it mean to overact about it? Like, just say it's a great penis you don't have to say it's big necessarily if he feels like you're lying it's gonna feel twice as bad and also let's i don't know how small this penis is but it if it is something that like you know in the in the smaller ranges and no no guy wants to hear like oh your dick is so big it's like well

okay you're patronizing me now if you kind like, and like people will call that bullshit. I think Niles hit it on the head. There's so many things you can say to compliment. Tell them that they're like, can't wait to feel it. You know what I mean? Can't wait. Oh, I like, I'm. Yeah, I will.

Oh, come on. The way you said it, Dane. It sounded terrible. You know, just be like, oh, I've been thinking about your cock all day. Boom. You don't need to say like, I've been thinking about your cock all day. Boom. You don't need to say like, I've been thinking about your massive giant horse cock. It's like, no, you don't need to put a qualifier or adjective on it. Or if you do, you could be like, I love your cock.

You got a very nice dick. You know what I mean? Yeah. Your dick feels so good. Like these are all things that are very nice to hear. And you're not presumably also you're not lying at all in this case you know because you're saying you like having sex with them and being with them and whatever but like if you give something that like treading around

people's insecurities is hard right so if you like blatantly lie to their face you know what i mean or if you like over exaggerate on something they're insecure about, it's very likely to go the other way. Cause they're already going to probably be a little on the defensive side for when you say anything nice about it anyway. So like giving them less shit to overanalyze and freak out about is better. So like keep it true and keep it like, I like it. It's nice. It feels great. Like it's, you got a great cock. Like that's enough. Yeah. And it's, and it's something i encourage uh anyone who has sex with people who have a penis should be saying regardless of size like even if they do have a monster dick complimenting something other than the size of it makes them feel a little bit more respected a little bit more appreciated

because like if all you ever do you know it would be like if i was sleeping with someone with a really big butt or really big boobs and all i was saying was just like big tits big tits love your big tits it's like well okay i got more to offer physically than just that make sure that you appreciate not just the the physical quality of someone's body but like what it does for you as you said like oh i love it it feels great it's perfect um you know i can't stop thinking about it i can't get enough of it it drives you wild like all those things are really nice to hear as opposed to hyper fixating on one thing because then you feel like you're a one-trick pony of being like oh they they really are only with me because my dick is big or they really are only with me because i got big boobs

yeah also like big is such a one like weirdly like media friend like you know i mean it's in every show it's in what it's like it's lame at this point no one gives a fuck and two it's like there's so much more you could offer right you just seem like a weird like it seems like you're not actually trying you're just like reading out the route like oh it's big it's like cool great well done you've done the thing every fucking teen show for 40 years has said you know it's like someone's just like oh you're hot it's like okay yeah and that's it for like 10 years of marriage just like you're hot you're hot it's not a bad thing to hear you know what i mean like of course not it's it's cool but like i it like you said like it kind of feels like there is like you're not really connecting with your compliments and i think you've got to personalize it a little bit

and not the size like sense that you have to like really throw in something hyper specific be like oh i love that one vein on this dick. But letting them know that it greatly appeals to you specifically is nice to hear. I love when my partners say things like that. It doesn't matter how I feel or whatever my insecurities are. If someone is just like, I love the way you fuck me or i love the way your cock feels inside me that's great that like that could change a person's week or or month or year yeah so you know shake it up a little bit um but whatever you do don't lie about size that sucks and they will see it like see through you immediately yeah especially if it's like a big issue for them

and you know if you're also thinking that already it's like your kind of hesitancy to give this thing is probably going to come through as well like they're gonna feel it from you you know so it's like you know there's no harm in saying stuff about size like again you don't have to be like oh i love your medium penis you know what i mean like that's weird you know you can say they've got a big dick you just don't overblow it yeah all right you ready this is a nice little tidbit from seduction this is rangers fan 243 did i make it weird hey man probably i was walking to my dorm and a girl that i liked passed me in the hall i looked down at first then looked up at her and nodded as i walked by Man, poor guy.

I would love to know. This will eat at me. Man, poor guy. I would love to know. He does say deep voice. Yeah. That's the best part is that like, I'm only assuming he put on a deep voice. Yeah. Specifically, you know what I mean? Like, no one says that if their voice is just deep. Yeah.

Or just like says it normally. Yeah, he definitely like Batman'd her. Yeah. And hey. How are youman'd her yeah and how are you it's weird how are you how's it going gotham needs i mean sorry alfred i mean shit to the batcave

i think we can both say that like yeah if you're doing much like the the frozen laugh track you know what i mean wait five seconds then laugh at every joke if you're doing things that aren't natural they are going to be weird so if you're altering your voice to try to batman this woman it's gonna be fucking strange yeah you need to you're hyper analyzing everything here and i like i feel bad for the dude because i don't think you know this isn't necessarily like the toxic behavior that we see in seduction

a lot i think this is just insecurity bleeding through from what he's learned is like how you get women direct eye contact deep voice you know i mean like all this bullshit but it's like if you strip that away and stop like frantically worrying about all this bullshit, and just the next time you walk past and she says hello, and you say, oh, hey, how's your day going? In your normal voice, you will be far more successful than you ever will be trying to remember all the rules that you read on the internet from someone that you literally don't know

whether or not they are successful with him you know what i mean like i feel like it's very clear that this person is over analyzing everything definitely after the fact and i'm assuming in the moment probably as you said trying to be like shit there's the list and the list is one don't look at but do look and and push pull and i gotta nag and fuck gotta make my voice deep and like be ready to pause. If she says something funny, just in case I actually laugh and all that's going to take you so out of the moment that you're going to feel weird and you're going to be weird, right? The very fact that you're like, I've walked, I looked down, I looked up, I said this, I,

you know, like if you think about, if we step back from your over detailed description, you walk past a girl, looked at her. And when she said hi, said, how's it going? That's the most normal thing in the world. There's nothing wrong with that whatsoever. What's wrong about it is the over-analyzing, the unnatural voice, and, like, just the weird, like, steps. You know what I mean? Like, throw all that shit. Throw it out the window.

I don't think he was, like, i don't think the up and down sort of thing was i don't think that was part of his move i think he was saying that like oh i didn't maintain eye contact and he's worried he's gonna look like a beta because he didn't like you know what i mean he looked away i think that's what the the point of his like i looked up and then i looked down and then i look back i better maybe but like to me even just the fact that he knows that's what he did means he's again way over analyzing it now oh 100 yeah but even at the time i'm assuming he was so like panicked about what to do which i think comes a lot from you know general fear i get it i was a kid once and women are hot and terrifying just talking to people in general is

a scary fucking thing yeah exactly so it's like i it, but I'm worried that he has so many fucking seduction tidbits in his mind. Because again, your average person doesn't run to seduction the second this happens to them, right? Someone who's already in this community does. And someone who's in this community is, I imagine, trying to reconcile the insane and contradictory facts that people spew out like their gospel. Yeah, absolutely. Fuck it. You said, how's it going? That's fine.

Don't modulate your voice because no one gives a fuck. Quite the opposite. They're going to think you're crazy if you change your voice talking to them. Yeah, because they'll overhear you talking normally, or you're going to then have to commit to that voice. And let me tell you, as someone who's currently doing a lot of voice work stuff, committing to a stupid voice really sucks. No one would make you commit to a voice for foreseeable months, would they? No.

So like, take a breath. You didn't do anything strange in a sense. Definitely not by looking at the ground. Definitely not what you said. The weirdest thing is that you specified deep voice you know i'm worried that you actually put a voice on but other than that what you did was pretty normal you know what i mean i doubt they even noticed that you like looked at the ground they probably thought you were like busy disinterested or nervous all three of those things are fine no woman walking through anywhere wants to be stared at you know what i mean so like yeah you

you not directly like eye fucking her or like laser beam eyeing her as she approached you probably worked in your favor if you said if you looked at her while you passed and you were talking to her great but like other than that no don't stare at people like you're you're doing normal human things the thing is i think it's something me and dan have mentioned about like you know if you're picking someone up at a bar or whatever it's like if you have a first interaction with someone that's even just in passing you know me like oh hey yeah how's your night oh not too bad and they walk off and you grab your drink you've not been weird and that's like a nice little thing this person is not a

fucking lunatic so the fact that you did this and you weren't creepy and you didn't do a seduction thing where you like stepped in her way so she couldn't get past you and you told her to pull her earphones out and you know all these things she's probably like oh that guy's he's a cool dude you just said hi you had a very normal interaction you moved

on you didn't make it weird there's nothing wrong with this the funny thing is is this guy probably thought he tanked this interaction but for all intents and purposes i really do think that like he did a good job and and you did something that is actually kind of like i wasn't joking around when i said like talking to people is scary especially like if you are as i imagine this person is quite neurotic or you know i mean like quite shy or timid or socially anxious to talk to a stranger without any sort of like hype up or preparation. That could be a big deal.

So what you did was actually very, very brave. And what you did was very casual. As long as, again, you didn't do anything fucking weird with your voice. But don't worry about it. This was a great first step. You did a very good job. You did a very normal thing. You respected her, her time and her space. You didn't grab her. Like Niall said, you didn't like try to take her earphones out. You didn't invite yourself to wherever she was going. You literally said hi to someone. And

now you've made that connection because now when you see her again in the hallway, you can say hello to her again. You've now established like, oh, you guys are friendly. And maybe next time you're waiting for the elevator and you can actually have a little bit more of a chat together. The thing is, what Dane says is 100% correct because it's not a stranger you passed on the street. It's like, oh, no, I'll never get my chance to use my seduction techniques on them because one, you shouldn't do that anyway. But two, you're in a fucking dorm with this person. so it's like you haven't lost your shot bro you've just i think you know best and worst case here are pretty similar and it's like there's like a soft little tick next to you in her mind that's like normal dude which is good you're gonna see her

again you guys are on the same dorm like this is good yeah you're you've done a very good job and i know that's rare that we say from seduction i want you to step away from everything there from seduction and not worry too much about that and just keep being a normal human being keep being a nice normal casual person and treat this person with respect and and dignity and keep your distance and you know i mean like treat her like you would want to be treated by someone and you know slowly build your rapport this isn't a fucking sprint you're not trying to get her number and your k clothes and your f clothes and do a field report on seduction fuck that take your time get to know her build a rapport over you know a couple weeks or a semester and then you know if

you notice it like oh maybe you guys are in the same class or maybe it's time that like you guys are moving out or something then it's your time to be like oh hey you know i've really enjoyed our little chats do you want to change the numbers or hey do you want to grab a drink like all those things are now way more natural because you've been chatting with this person casually and friendly for however long to otherwise like the only option there is like most people like oh why did you get a number there because like that would have sucked yeah and you probably wouldn't have never would have worked uh how about we dip into some other views on advice here on this situation no you kept hiding your

your eyes as if she saw them she'd be privy to the twisted fantasies you harbor in your soul for christ fuck off then you asked her she was doing a deep voice why why ask her only to throw your head down in shame speaking to this girl you like take her off this pedestal you raise her on and be a man super weird very passive you had an opportunity to show your confidence and you looked away learn from this one and be more prepared for an opportunity next time yeah i mean complete opposite of what i would ever tell someone someone's like oh don't worry you're overthinking it she's already forgotten if anything was weird yeah she forgot because she probably

talking to the dude giving her strong eye contact goes to the gym and owns a muscle car like some of the like some of the people in there like in this seduction and community have the wildest idea of like like they're literally just describing like an 80s like boyfriend like asshole boyfriend that you the scrawny nerdy kid are gonna win the hot girl like the cheerleader from you know i mean like like what are you talking about owns a muscle car what i i know it's like what are you talking about also i'm gonna help you never look down see again these are like really beta not alpha it only works in anime because that's japanese culture keep your head up shoulders back relaxed say what up what up what up what up hey how you doing what up hey guys i look down all

the time that's how i find coins man so i see six seashells on the fucking beach uh i don't know these people are crazy i like look i think there is something to be said about maybe working on your confidence so that you don't feel like you have to avert your gaze if you are talking to someone having eye contact is a great skill and it's something that you need to learn and it's literally something that i've learned because i bartended for fucking 10 years and it is now something that i do on a daily basis and like interacting with strangers and like making eye contact is important in that industry it's not something easy and it's not something a lot of people are good at even people who think they're good at it usually just have creepy eye

contact like all these people here who are like maintain eye contact you don't do good eye contact i can almost guarantee you these guys are not good at eye contact they're maybe good at staring at someone's eyes but that's not good eye contact good eye contact is knowing when to break your gaze and knowing when to you know relax and having a neutral expression as opposed to like that fixated laser focus of being like i'm looking at you right in your eyes because no one likes that that freaks people out especially if you're just walking past someone on the street or in an apartment hallway or something. I think it's freaky. Even if you know them, it makes you uncomfortable and hate the whole conversation until you're done.

But when you don't know them, that's when you reach for your keys. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Start putting them between your fingers. If Amanda did that to me over dinner and was just fucking staring at me with her big old eyes i'd be what the fuck are you doing like it would scare the shit out of me and like literally any like you or any of our boys like i don't want you to fucking stare at me hey guess what i'm gonna do i mean i'll i'll do it right back at you like i'll play that game um the worst eyes son worst eyes, son. You'll never out-blink me.

Mine are pretty dry. Perfect. Yeah, just stop overthinking it. You did fine, and ignore almost everything that comes out of seduction. Yeah. But also, buy a muscle car. If you had driven past her in the hallway, making an obscene amount of noise, she'd be in that car with you. You stop, you pull up beside her.

What up? What up? And then as she goes to respond, you just go, and then drive away. Yeah. Whatever. Hey, what up? Whatever. And just drive away.

Didn't like you anyway. And then you go on seduction and be like, oh man, almost worked. Christ. All right. I don't know how to say this. Granuled North.

Okay. Renew weird. North. I don't know. Maybe, probably. First date this weekend, or sorry,

fourth date this weekend. and it's red week. Do I cancel? I have fourth date plans with a guy that lives over two hours away. We've already done the deed, so he will be expecting it this time too. I feel bad that he will drive 2.5 hours to see me and won't have sex. Should I tell him before he comes or cancel the date or not say anything until he's here? Any advice is much appreciated well i think one important distinction is like are you guys fuck buddies are you guys developing towards like dating because if you're strictly fuck buddies and it's like that's the only reason you guys are meeting up yeah and you don't want to have sex

on your period then yeah 100 let him know just be like hey i'm on my period right now and maybe he'll be down if you're down maybe he won't be and then he can be like oh we can reschedule if you want if you guys are like actually like gearing up towards dating or like you you haven't specified that you're only meeting up for sex i feel like if you say it he might think that you don't want to hang out depending on how you phrase it or if you say it and he doesn't want to hang out i guess you know a bit about this guy or if you hang out and he gets upset like these are all ways it's like it depends what you want out of this situation if you don't want to meet up unless you're having sex sure if you're gearing up to date and like you're worried that he'll be upset driving 2.5 hours just to not fuck

then that's a shitty person in my opinion i would like the heads up regardless like i would still want to hang out and like come over and hang out, but it's like, you know, it's good to like, no, because then you're not going to be angling for anything. You know what I mean?

Like if I go in and I think that like, Oh, sexy time's going to happen. And I'm, and I'm going to like, you know what I mean? Then you have that awkward of being like, Oh no,

sorry, we can't. Whereas if I know I'm out of time, I'll be like, okay, cool. Then we're going gonna order a fucking pizza and watch a bunch of movies and maybe make out a little and hey if you're interested you can

always just give them you know oral sex or you know a hand job or something up to you like you're never beholden to doing it but like if you're down they're not going to be upset yeah like the i think you just need to like understand what kind of tone you want i i don't think like waiting is the right answer i mean and i say this out of concern that like you've known this guy for four dates he's coming over and you don't like maybe this guy's a fucking lunatic and will like lose his shit that you made him drive you know what i mean so and then he's in your house so i think for uh from a safety perspective also this is like a potential a band-aid on a potential problem or something because like like nile said if you say oh hey

sorry just so you know i am on my period so we won't be able to have sex tonight um very excited to like still hang out with you um you know we could still make out and stuff but uh i'm not comfortable having sex if you aren't comfortable um And if he's like, well then, you know, what's the fucking point? I'm like, and he freaks out. Then you like,

you get a pretty good sense of what this man's about. You know what? Yeah. I, I agree. I was like kind of hemming and hawing over like, there are pros and cons. I don't think there's any cons to saying it.

No. Unless the only con I could think of is that maybe he thinks you're trying to subtly say you don't want to hang out, but like, yeah, that's easily fixed by just saying exactly what you just said. Yeah. So a hundred percent, let them know because one,

it's like, if you guys are going to date, like you should be able to talk about your period. Two. So like, it'll happen again. Exactly. It'll,

it'll be around next month. Yeah. Um, also like if he does freak out, that's a good thing to know. If he's like, Oh, I don't want to show up because we're not fucking. That's also a good thing to know. Again, whether or not you're cool with that, it's good to know where you are with regards to him.

And if he also just wants to hang out and be cool. Great. And importantly, what Dane said, again, I'm just kind of repeating everything you just said. You're not going to have to like wait until like he's pushed things just enough that it makes sense for you to be like by the way i'm on my period we can't that that like sucks and not again because like oh i'm a horny man and i want sex but like you know if i'm getting all hot and heavy and then get a bucket of ice water thrown on me it's like if i know going into it that sex isn't on the table then i'm not gonna get to get all, all, you know, hot and bothered about things. Yeah.

A hundred percent. It's just the more comfortable for me. So yeah, I say, mention it. I don't see a downside really. And like any of the downsides are upsides. You know what I mean?

Like if he freaks out, that's an upside because one, you figured it out early too. You figured it out with distance between these two and a half hours. That's a great distance for a guy to be freaking out away from you. You know what I mean? Much better than five feet. Yeah. Um, so do it, do it. That's a great distance for a guy to be freaking out away from you. You know what I mean? Much better than five feet. Yeah. So do it.

Do it. It's your turn. Okay. Are we back in seduction? We are. This is a woke PSL. I think my girlfriend was suddenly flirting with someone in front of me and suddenly it was spelled just so wrong. I thought they were talking about Sudbury. We were about to go on a camping trip and we went to the store to get some

items. We stopped by the bathroom and as we're, she said they had her favorite holiday drinks in stock. She goes up to the barista, who's male, brushes her hair over her ear when she's saying her order, kind of gently and decisively. Then we're waiting for her drink and talking, and then when she goes to get it, he asks if she needed a straw, and she said she did. Then he said something in a lowered, flirty, seductive voice to her. And she giggled in a way that it made her feel something good. I felt weird about the whole thing. That definitely gave me some reaction. But I never said anything about it. I believe that when you're out in public with your boyfriend, girlfriend,

you should make an effort not to give I.O.I.s to strangers. And what is that? Is it like an indication of interest? Yeah, I think so. Either way, you kind of get that. You shouldn't give ios to strangers that's why i picked up especially since sometimes she makes me feel unfunny it goes and giggles like a school girl some random thing the starbucks employee said in a low quiet seductive voice but i

also think he saw the hair brushed away from her face and over her ear as an ioi so he felt like she was interested and flirted with her which made her giggle maybe she's not long-term relationship material what do you guys think i know bring it up will make me seem needy and controlling but i shouldn't have to control something like that i would prefer having a girl who's deeply attracted to me in a way that makes her not interested in displaying interest to strangers i posted here because really our relationships isn't really aware of ios and they're basically a cult would anyone else consider this a red flag wow you whoa she doesn't think you're funny sometimes she makes you feel unfunny sometimes but like i love that

he's like relationship is a cult but but seduction however they're very normal with all their like code words and you know bibles yeah and gatekeeping and oh boy oh boy the can i point out that the bit that like really pings for me is like i shouldn't have to control something like that isn't that he doesn't want to control it's that he it should be like assumed like his control should be assumed like that's the fucking worst part is like oh i you know i shouldn't have to control that it's like no you want to control you just don't want to have to like you know restate the fact that it needs to be controlled you lunatic i mean i think the i mean i think he's completely in the right when he asks her if she needed a straw like dude dude she has a boyfriend

and honestly when you're out, I fucking hate when any girl I'm with touches her hair in any way when I'm outside. You know what I mean? If it falls out from over your ear, yeah, you walk around half blind, alright? You better look like the girl from the fucking ring when you're with me, alright?

Don't ever touch it. You know what? It falls out of place, it stays there, okay? I shouldn't have to control this. I'm not controlling. Just don't ever touch it it you know what it falls out of place it stays there okay like i shouldn't have to control this oh i'm not controlling just don't ever touch your hair especially if there's a man who might see it yeah if there's a man around and your hair i don't care like you better look like you're gonna be going fucking up the the stairs on your hands and knees you know what i mean like backwards back that's just a style also man i didn't think I needed to have to say this to you, but like, you see my girlfriend coming? Don't you dare pull out your Batman voice.

Don't you dare pull out your Batman voice when you ask her for a straw. I do appreciate that this man did fucking hit her with the, what's up? What up? What up? Hey girl, you need a straw with that? I can't believe he hit her with a lowered flirty seductive voice also let's be fair flirty and seductive are quite different things how did he manage to do that all in the same voice while also lowering his voice and i do love that it did she did giggle in a way

that made her feel something good yeah and he also felt a reaction i believe that's something else he said okay let's okay we're done making fun of this man. At least I am. No, we're not. This is lunacy. You are so insecure that when your girlfriend ordered a drink at Starbucks, you were threatened by the man doing his job by asking her if she needs a straw. Like, what? what are you doing you you want to talk about fucking alpha and beta and you know strong strong boy boy energy being upset about someone offering a you know drinking utensil to your girlfriend, which is their job. I'm sorry, man. Like this is,

this is weakness. This is so insecure and you need to, this isn't a red flag for her. This is a red flag for you, my man. You need to take a step back and be like, Hey, why did that scare me so much? What am I insecure about that i can't let my girlfriend have very basic rudimentary interactions with men without me literally spiraling into a descent of madness and if and if you don't understand that if you can't glean the fact that you are out of line here i hope she fucking hooks up with starbucks mcgee over here yeah because because like it just it's just so bad this is the worst you need to break up with her for her sake and you need to like block seduction take a walk realize that like this is just insanity and and just stop just stop all of this you're a psychopath

she literally she's doing the again we're gonna take apart all the things you said you're in a shop she bought a coffee and then she was nice to a to a person who worked there wow can you imagine if you were working and like you said something someone in the bar and they just like stared at you and didn't smile and didn't you know their hair was hanging in front of their eyes. You couldn't really tell where they were looking and they just walked away while like a man stood behind her and nodded approvingly like, okay, we're still good. That would be not good. That happened to me two weekends ago. A couple came in and he was like, Grey Goose Soda.

I was like, I'm sorry, man. I'm really at a gray goose at the moment i've got you know kettle one sorry he wanted belvedere and i was like uh sorry man we don't carry belvedere he's like oh fuck gray goose i was like my gray goose i was like here here my premium vodkas and his partner his girlfriend presumably was just like oh kettle one's fine that's i'm good with that and he looked at her and looked at me and he was like really and i was like i don't really know what you're upset about he's like you're gonna offer you're gonna give her

kettle one so if that's what she wants i guess he's like wow all right man okay cool cool yeah i guess i'll do the same then all right and i gave it to him they literally didn't drink he threw 20 bucks on the table which was like a pretty good tip um and like left without drinking any of it and i was just like what the fuck just happened i was like are you mad at me because i accommodated your girlfriend are you mad that like maybe you think that kettle one isn't good enough for i was so fucking bewildered by it and then they came in the other day and like they were sitting at the bar and he's like no not with this guy again and I was like

what and then they sat like on the other end of the bar like at a table in the bar and I was just like I'm really sorry ma'am if this caused turmoil for you or I don't know maybe it was just me but I have no idea what the fuck happened and he like had a breakdown This caused turmoil for you. Or I don't know. Maybe it was just me.

But I have no idea what the fuck happened. And he like had a breakdown because, you know, I talked to his girlfriend. Yeah, I once had someone come in and like I'm they seemed very young and like not in a legal sense. But like I was anyway, I don't know if they were like an escort situation or whatever. Doesn't matter. But either way, I was like, oh, what do you want to him? And he orders. And I turned to them was like, oh, and he's like, you don't know if they were like an escort situation or whatever. It doesn't matter. But either way, I was like, oh, what do you want to him? And he orders. And I turned to them and was like, oh. And he's like, you don't talk to them.

I was like, sorry. He was like, yeah, you don't talk to them. You talk to me. I was like, just turned right back to him. I'm like, oh, what would you like? He's like, excuse me. And they're like, a Diet Coke. I'm like, okay, a Diet Coke.

And he's like, excuse me. I'm like, I don't give a fuck. I'm not going to not talk to them, you psycho. Yeah. And he's like, can I take a picture with you from my website? I was like, no don't give a fuck. I'm not going to not talk to them, you psycho. Yeah. And he's like, can I take a picture with you from my website? I was like, no. Get the fuck away. But you know what?

Let's look at some alternative advice here. Oh, fuck me. You know what will work? Try asking her what that guy told her. Check whether she's saying the truth and ask yourself, does it really seem like a thing to giggle for? If it's giggle worthy, you're safe. If it wasn't giggle worthy, she got to hit the road, Jack. Are you still reading or are you paraphrasing?

Oh, I'm paraphrasing at the end. But OK, I was like, is this man literally saying fucking giggle worthy? Oh, that was true. Yeah, he literally said checkers saying ask yourself the truth. Does it really seem like a thing to giggle for? No, no. I mean, the phrase giggle worthy. No.

Okay. I don't know where I was drawing the line there, but that is in fact where I was drawing the line. Someone was like, it could be very well that you're overthinking it. He's like, I don't know. I don't think so. I do like that every now and then there is like one sane person in the comments who's just like the fuck is happening about half of them here are like half of them are good but like the other half are like foaming at the mouth so on board with his bullshit that like drowns out but yeah guys don't do this people are allowed to talk to people atbucks like i can't even begin to vocalize

what they're allowed to do because it should go without saying and i should also say like hey let your partners be flirty with other people yes like that's fun it's like there's as long as they're not cheating on you and if you think that like a simple flirty interaction with a starbucks barista is going to make her cheat on you then maybe you shouldn't be with that person yeah also like you should you should trust your partner enough that like you know that like a fun flirty interaction with a bartender or a barista or whoever means nothing and is is just in good fun and if you don't trust your partner enough don't be with them yeah if you don't trust them full stop just don't be with them but there's also a difference between flirting

and being flirty you know i mean there's also like a world of difference between like flirting in a jokey way and like actively being like disrespect you know i mean like there's there's a world of difference between these things if you can't differentiate between like a brief fucking exchange while buying a coffee and somebody trying to cheat on you. Then I'm sorry, dude, you cannot have a relationship. You've been you've been cut off. We had to cut you off. You've had too many too much or too little.

Either way. No, you're out. Yeah. Yeah. No bueno. No. My girlfriend's exhibitionism is rising and I need to have a delicate conversation without sounding like I'm not giving her autonomy over her body. And this is from

Michelle Savant. I love that it's rising. That's a great way to describe it. And judging by the username, I think this is two women. Nice. But maybe not. It doesn't really matter. My girlfriend has admitted several times to me in the past about

how she thinks she has some mild exhibitionist tendencies, and I was both intrigued and kind of really turned on. We've been exploring this side of her for the last few months. This involved her sharing some pics and clips anonymously online, sometimes flashing or otherwise teasing me in public, but discreetly, and me giving her dressing rules around the house, even when we had guests over. Only recently, over the last three or four weeks perhaps, a few escalating incidents have made me feel uncomfortable. Given that I know how much she likes this aspect of her, and how much better the sex has been, I hate to be a wet blanket.

How can I have a constructive conversation with her about this delicate topic? The specific incidents that made me feel a bit uncomfortable were when she started getting male in the nude with a chance of neighbors seeing and her wanting to let our friends choose what clothes she wears before a party started at our place they were all pretty or they are all pretty sex positive but i felt this was a bit too far-fetched and got her to drop the idea i also don't want to feel ungrateful for the infinite and amazing naughty pictures and videos she shares me uh constantly making my day job so much more fun you kind of just laid it out there i feel like if you just showed them this post probably solved the whole issue right i i

think like i i appreciate this person looking for advice on how to broach this subject but i also appreciate that the the op question asker also has a fairly good sense of like i know specifically what i'm upset about and how I feel about it. But I also understand that like, I need to do this delicately. And yeah, you do. But I think if your partnership is as solid as it presumably sounds,

I think if you say, hey, babe, I really appreciate everything you've been doing and I want to keep exploring this with you. But lately, these things have made me feel a bit uncomfortable uncomfortable and i'm wondering if we can find a middle ground and you know find what our boundaries are for this yeah because like the the thing is if you ever broach like you know a kink or a whatever and you don't set out boundaries it doesn't mean you can just kind of run rampant with it you know what i mean it's like you know like the

farting question we had it's's like, there's still limits and boundaries and you still need to like check in with stuff. So if she's escalating stuff, you're totally within your right to be like, Hey, I've been really enjoying like what we're doing, but like, I honestly, I feel like this stuff's a little bit too far and like, it makes me uncomfortable. I'm like, you explain why I assume they're going to get it. Right. Just because you talked about exhibitionism doesn't mean like they can just do whatever

they want under that umbrella category. Right. On top of that, I love that you end with like, I really don't want to stop like this thing, this like very positive thing, which was the nudes and the pictures that you've been getting that you've really enjoyed. So it's like, you know, what's a great way to take the sting out of this conversation, point out the things that you really love about this. You know what I mean?

Be like, Hey, it's been really exciting. The sex has been great. I really love these pictures. Like I'm not, you know, these are all things that they're going to like to hear. You're going to like to say they're all true. And it's going to show that you're not upset about the thing as a whole and really just focusing on like kind of the boundary pushing, you know? But I feel like any good partner is going to listen when you're saying like, Hey, I like what we've done, but I do feel like lately it's gone a little further than I'm comfortable with. Yeah,

exactly. And like, you can also open the door for other avenues of being like these things, like the things that here are the things that have upset me or, or have made me feel uncomfortable. But I'm not saying that there aren't other like new things that you can do that we can use to like push past these boundaries. Like I'm just saying that these specific things I'm not comfortable with.

And as we explore this together, there are going to be things that, uh, that will continue to come up that I'm not comfortable with. And we need to figure out a way to navigate that. And we need to figure out a way to communicate that. Um, and maybe it's a matter of being like you checking in with me before you do

things so that we can talk about it. Or if something if you do something and I'm not comfortable with it, being willing to have the conversation about what we can do to tweak it that you're OK with. Like maybe you're OK if she goes out like lingerie instead of completely naked to get the mail or, you know, a sheer sort of like slip on or like a robe or something like something that like will help you feel a little bit more comfortable but not take away the act entirely like there are options that you guys can can work with but the thing is is your partner doesn't sound like they're doing anything specifically to maliciously upset you so they probably have they're just kind of getting excited with this new freedom right yeah and like if you don't say anything there's no way of them ever knowing that you're not comfortable with it yeah exactly until you say hey i'm not comfortable with this and that

they will keep doing it and it's not fair to them or you to be uncomfortable and upset inside because it will also permeate throughout this this entire kink and then you will probably start to resent it as a whole which sucks because you don't have a problem with it as a whole yeah and like it's just going to build up so that when you do finally talk about it you're going to be like upset because you're going to have weeks and weeks of kind of pent up discomfort and like it's not their fault because as dane said they don't know you're going to have weeks and weeks of kind of pent up discomfort. And like, it's not their fault because as Dane said, they don't know you're uncomfortable with it yet. Right.

I do think it is worth like examining why you feel uncomfortable about it. You know what I mean? Like make sure it's not a knee jerk reaction. Make sure it's not something you can get over. And also make sure that you can like vocalize it to them just so there isn't any kind of like miscommunication when you're actually talking about it. I feel like it's always worth looking at where you're coming from and why you know i mean for them for you the situation as a whole um so just just keep that in mind like do

a little kind of like self-searching because the more you can describe it to them the better right if you're just like i'm uncomfortable and they're like why and you're like i don't know that's not very satisfying to hear as someone on the other side. And it could just be a knee-jerk thing as well. It could be a jealousy issue that if you can surpass will make your relationship stronger. You know what I mean? Not saying you have to be okay with it, but I do think it is always worth looking at why you are not okay with something. Yeah.

And maybe talking through it with your partner, maybe once hear sort of like the rush it gives them or the you know why they're doing what they're doing maybe you'll be like oh shit okay you know what actually now that i understand your side of it i am cool with it yeah and it's like that's the the beauty of communication and that's the beauty of being like the sex positive kink friendly you know open explorative couple i i think you guys have a great base i think you have a great foundation i think you just need to take the communication up one notch and and keep working on this together as as a unit and realize that like kinks even though they are the one participating in the kink it's still a couple's activity and you need to work

together as a unit to figure out your boundaries and figure out what you are comfortable with and what you're not comfortable with and how to navigate that as a couple exploring a kink and uh but i think i think you've you're in good shape i think you're gonna do okay uh at the end of the show we like to peruse online dating profiles such as tinder tinder yeah tinder i was like that's not the word uh bumble and hinge and we comb them for red flags in an effort to make your online dating experience a little more enjoyable i feel like i've got some one-liners i could probably just quick fire at you uh sure jessica ron unruly like eugene levy's eyebrows that's good that's 10 10 100 uh amy you should not go out with me if you think dave

chappelle should be canceled hold on there's a lot of double negatives here you should not go not go out with me if you think dave chappelle should be canceled okay yes so she thinks dave chappelle's doing a great job which is not true uh i'm just gonna let's just say like and don't like if we're gonna be rapid firing i don't like, if we're going to be rapid firing. I don't like red flags. Still zero. My real life superpower is being passive aggressive. Do not like red flag. Bridget about me. Fuck if I know.

Hmm. This is a tough one. Cause I do think it's kind of funny. It's funny, but it's also garbage. It is garbage. I'm not going to say it's a red flag though. I'm going to give this a tentative green flag. Yeah. Um, about me over here boys all capitals okay that's it that's gonna be a red flag because that's not funny yeah i don't know what that's like it's not a joke it's not smart it's kind

of nothing yeah that's all my quick ones all right i've got uh this is dorothea this is man this is a good one this is uh from hinge fact about me that surprises people i've never had a conversation uh oh but wait the best way to ask me out is by please help me dear god is she in like a basement somewhere? I don't I don't I don't know. But zero. This is this is not a good dating profile. No, it's great call for help.

Very good call for help. I do feel like maybe you're trapped in the basement somewhere and have been since you were born. And if that's the case, yeah, I would swipe just to get you the help you need. Right. I'm also imagining there are better ways to do this so i'm imagining that's not the case i did i did like them i sent them a like in the efforts to be like are you okay yeah okay good we're doing our part here that's a zero yeah this is al funny, employed, banter game strong. You can ask me three questions and then we have to meet. Ooh, I don't hate this. It's, I've, I'm like, I'm a little intrigued.

I do like the kind of almost like genie-esque deal she's making here. Yeah, like, I don't think I've ever seen that before. And that's rare because like, I go through a lot of these fucking profiles. And I don't think I've ever seen like a woman kind of just be like no no here's how it's gonna go i kind of like this i'm gonna give this a seven you know what i'm very intrigued i will say tall funny employed as the three things you tell me about yourself not great i don't know okay that you're employed necessarily they're not bad though either i don't know you telling that you're employed necessarily. They're not bad though either. I don't know. You telling me you're funny, that means nothing. It doesn't matter.

I'm still saying. I'm intrigued by the three questions and then me. I'd love to know how often she sticks to them. Yeah. This is Dina. Heart emoji, explosion emoji, kiss emoji, 5'8", never married, no kids, dot, dot, dot, hate beards and cats. Heart emoji. Dancing lady.

Wow. This is your girlfriend, right? She fucking came for me. She did come for you. It sounds pretty weirdly negative. It's going to be like a two. I'm giving it a zero because, hey, fuck you. This is Maureen.

Tourism management. Dancer. Lived inureen. Tourism management. Dancer. Lived in three continents. Been to four. What serious relationship like the series You? If it's not like that, I don't want it. Kind. Intelligent.

Beautiful. Sometimes mood swings. I mean, I haven't seen You, but I did at one point walk in while Amanda was watching it, and there were like two people bleeding and freezing to death in a freezer. Yeah, that's about it. So, one, you should watch it because it is actually incredibly well done. Two, it's like a better version of Dexter in a sense. Like the guy is just Dexter, really.

And it's active, like he actively stalks and... Yeah, like he's not a good person, right? He's the worst person he literally stalks and manipulates and like violates every means of privacy and everything and then murders people quite often so this is in fact a bad thing to want yeah it's gonna be a minus one for sure because either this person actually wants murder and manipulation or this person is so like just dumb that they don't understand what the show is about. Yeah. And also sometimes mood swings.

It's like that's get your shit together. I mean, like you should be able to. Yeah. But like, is it the kind of thing you want to be so aware of yourself that you're going to put on a profile instead of fixing? Oh, no, I'm not saying. Yeah, it's yeah. It's this is not a good profile. Yes. Zero. No, minus one um this is sarah you're gonna have to give me this is a bit of a syntax nightmare i

don't know what the fuck to expect you can i'd rather be hurt by honesty than comforted by lies i like people who knows true self i like real and liars, cheaters and such ain't my thing. I won't like you at first. Probably who knows, but I love people and respect people who can wear their imperfections. I'm an artist, loyal and a bit wild, always creative.

Haven't dated or whatever people do in like 10 years. Monogamous, I guess tattoos on my life. Nobody want to chill. I say good day wow that was a whole that was a whole journey um i do feel like the they definitely have i would rather be comforted by or hurt by honesty than comforted by lies tattooed on them somewhere oh without a doubt 100 just like update their every time they read a new rupee core poem they change their profile to

just say what the last one said we know yeah i do remember the rupee the the poem where they say nobody want to chill i say good day uh it's a zero to me yeah sarah that's not a good one okay here's one rules of consideration one no kids two must have a full head of hair three less than age 30 four must have a job five must have a car six must have a home slash apartment seven never married slash engaged eight good personality nine adventurous spelt wrong 10 worship the ground i walk on 11 no felonies 12 no. No gingers. 13. No scrubs. Oh, boy. Cool.

Yeah, this is bad. Yep. I'm going to give that a zero. Yeah. Only because, hey, just because I'm bald and a criminal doesn't mean anything. This is going to be my last one. This is M, a trans femme, Emma Marceline. Let's get a little tipsy.

Red wine for me. Share stories, examine the universe, and laugh till it hurts. Sprightly, inquisitive, empathetic, thrifty, chatty as fuck, and going through life just trying to impress my five-year-old self and my 55-year-old self. Facts to the max. Hell yeah, it's a 10.

That's a great profile it's a very i also like sprightly as a way to describe yourself is wonderful right yeah no i i read that i was like fucking finally yeah finally someone like it doesn't reinvent the fucking wheel it doesn't have any like crazy zippy one-liners which we all know know I love. But I get a good sense of who this person is. Yeah, I can feel their personality. Yeah, it also gives me a great opening of being like, you, me, bottle of wine, let's go. Yeah, exactly.

And also, let's get tipsy. Tipsy's a great way to be. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I really, really appreciate it. I'd be like, eh. Yeah. Yeah, Tan. Yeah, I really, really appreciate it. I'd be like, eh. Yeah. Yeah, Tan. Yeah, I liked it.

This is Sarah. Not vaxxed or masked. Introvert with extroverted tendencies. Otherworldly. Like your neurodivergent. Big on vibe slash energy. I'm on Bumble Biz and BFF. Open to connections.

Polyamorous, pan, demi, fluid. In one long-distance relationship. Into meditation, Marvel and DC. Creating, singing, dancing, etc. etc i mean it would have been fine if not for the very first line yeah what i love is like you're not vaxxed cool you suck but you're not even gonna wear a mask like damn sarah you're bringing sucking to a new level and not in a good way. You're polyamorous? So like, you're just potentially just giving all your partners fucking COVID?

Yeah, she's not just gonna give one. No. Bad form. Yeah, just minus 10, I guess. You suck. Yeah, I love it. Thank you very much for listening. That's gonna do us for this week. We appreciate you spending an hour of your time with things happening and being able to do things again in this world. Your appreciate you spending an hour of your time with things happening and being

able to do things again in this world. Your time is more valuable. You're not just sitting at home anymore. So we really appreciate you taking an hour out of your day to give us a listen. It means the world to us. Thank you. Yeah, thank you so much. Shout out to my boy, Boxycat, for helping us with the cat info earlier.

You're always there for us when we need you. Thank you, Josh Eagle, Mahara cities for their song paper stars. And thank you to all of our patrons. Cause y'all are fucking incredible. And we love you. If you do want to ask us a question or support the show,

head on over to F buddies, podcast.com or plenty of beef.ca and click either the contact form. And you can fill out a question. You can give yourself an agent name name or we can give you one. We keep the questions completely anonymous. So your secrets are safe with us. We will take them to the grave. Um,

if you would like to support the show, you click the patron link and choose whatever works for you. If you want to support the show and cash a little tight, we get it. Holidays are coming. Things get a little fucking wild. Um, don't worry about it.

Tell a friend, share us on Instagram, share us on instagram share us on twitter uh promote the show to people that you think might need it uh next time you see someone giving really bad advice on reddit be like hey maybe check these guys out um all that stuff helps the show and and we appreciate uh when we do see you guys uh you know tagging us and stuff on twitter it really means a lot to us yep a thousand percent also maybe this year we'll get our shit together and do some christmas stuff like you know on time because we do have a fucking book that we have to write yeah we have a the first book in a i assume epic series of christmas themed sexcapades so maybe maybe if you guys are interested let us know and we'll continue on that because

we do have book one done um do you have some bad sex writing for us do i ever this is by the pirate's daughter oh this is the pirate's daughter by robert garandi the crew wears these mesh bee keeper hats when they go topside except for dad he just bats them away like they're nothing but i can't stand the goddamn things they give me thes. That's why we're down here for the duration of the voyage. That the only reason, Wilson said. Cricket smiled, her breasts faintly translucent in the diminishing light. Huh?

Why are they- What? Have you never watched boobs in the fading light? You slowly get to see through them? Yeah. I don't like that one bit. No, it's terrifying. Yeah. You just see right through their organs. I'm thinking like their name was Cricket. And I know that's,

but I'm just thinking of like the cricket from Bugs Life or Ants. I don't remember which one. Remember the evil cricket? Or it was a grasshopper. Same thing. But I'm just imagining it with like see-through tits. See-through boobies. All right.

I fucking hate it. Hey, you just made some bad sex writing worse. I'm Dan Miller. I'm Niall Spade. And we've been your fuck buddies. That's gonna confuse someone so much. Good. you