F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 175 - Neutral Treadmill Territory

Episode Date: February 7, 2022

The game has changed and they only thing we need to start playing is more 'roids!  Topics include what to do when you see a cute pic of the person you're dating, open season on Treadmill Woman, coming to terms with your partner's sexual past, rejection via unfollowing, changing your dating mindset, indicators of a person's "body count" and, of course, a fresh batch of profiles to review.

I put my trust in you, and when I'm trusting, I love you. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. I put my trust in you, and when I'm trusting, I love you. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. Hello friends, my name is Dave Miller. And I'm Niall Spain. And we're your fuck buddies. We are a dating and sex advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations and turn them into sexy, sexy, sticky situations.

Damn, you were so close. Yeah. Simply put, we're a sex and dating advice podcast that finds questions either online or from our wonderful listeners and we answer them for you. You might know us from Tumblr too. Alright, you got something for me? Is this a shakedown? Are you shaking me down right now? Hey, hands up. Hands where I can see them.

Hey, man, I just need- Your advice to your life. I just need one more week. I promise. I'll give you two questions. All right, patrons, break his legs. There's a special tier that if you pay enough, you get to beat the shit out of Dane

every time I say that. It's true. Guys, I'm very sore. Please, please stop. We released two episodes in one day last week. We did, yes. That was, okay, firstly, thank you, Dane, because that's a lot of work.

But secondly, some of y'all are real lucky. Two boy doses in one day? Good overdose, so please be careful. Not a lot of you are used to. You got a microdose, which is why we only do one episode a week. And we can only do two max by law a day. So you got the max boy dose if you're part of the Patreon. If not, well, who knows?

Maybe next time. I'm going to be taking a page out of your book today and bringing you a question from seduction. I bet you it's one of the ones I have, you motherfucker. Go on, go. Maybe. If a girl you're dating puts up a hot picture on social media, what is usually your response? What is an example of something you would say?

Or would you just ignore her? What's the best seduction approach? This is one of mine, Dane. Snooze you lose. I should have gone first, motherfucker. Yeah, I love this one because the thing is, I don't know if we can answer this, right? Because it's your best seduction approach, right? And like we aren't seduction trained.

Like we try, but it's it's intensive. At this point, I think we can consider ourselves. We've we've read enough articles. We've we've put enough women in our sweaty blazers that we we know the tricks of the trade. All right. Best seduction approach. I guess you got to like like probably some verbal abuse maybe dump them definitely spiral into like like just lose all self-confidence but then pretend the opposite you know what i mean so like as your self-confidence

plummets your outward like put more people under your sweater is what i'm saying literally in this case it's one of those things where you definitely have to look at them and send them a message of being like, you know what? I think it's really brave of you to still post these pictures after how much weight you've gained. And then just, you know, be like that. That'll do it. That's a seduction move. Let's go. Yeah.

Okay. I can't even pretend to be a seduction person. Like, I love this. It's like, what would you say? Would you ignore her? Wow. Like such a brave move. What's the best seduction?

Like, do you think you need to re seduce her? If you're dating someone, presumably any picture they put up is going to be hot, right? That's that's the like twist on this question. The twist of this question isn't, you know, oh, a girl I like or a woman I like put up a sexy picture. How do you react to it? It's someone they're already dating. Yeah. So it's like, are you trying to re-seduce her or are you,

which I assume is the answer, super threatened and like upset and don't think they're allowed? Because, hey, dude, you're dating each other. You need to calm down and also not be an asshole because unless your aim is to end said relationship, this is not the right approach. I guess it depends on what kind of social media they're using. I'm going to assume it's Instagram.

If someone, and I didn't realize the weight this carried because I used to react to people's stories all the fucking time, not knowing that like, this was a flirt device nowadays, but like if someone posts up a cute picture, I'll throw them the hard eyes. You know what I mean? I'll give them the, I'll give those like the little, those little side eyes and like, I'll just leave it at that. Like if, if they want to engage after the fact, I think if you're going to be constantly being like, you're so hot, I think that's a little much. But I think that like if someone puts up a really cute picture, I don't see any harm in giving them a little validation of being like, you know, hard eyes.

And then I will forget about it immediately. But if you're dating someone and that's someone that you care, like there is literally no downside to complimenting the person you're with and if you think there is this is a bad relationship well i don't even think that's what they're looking for like i don't think they're like hey and maybe it is i think you're putting a very positive spin on this which unfortunately is not usually what seduction is i feel like it's more like she's she's done something wrong she put up a hot like a hot picture how do you like rein in this behavior maybe like that's what i read from it i mean i don't see any like have you dipped down into the comments i haven't no okay well it's basically everybody being like if a woman puts

up a picture she's one step closer to cheating and like you need to blah blah blah and not let her and you know she's just the side of cheating one dm away insecure or not if you're in a relationship take this down post only pictures of you with a man etc neat there's a uh there's like a thing going around a tiktok right now of a guy being like it's one of those like i think he's one of those like self help gurus of like those kind of people who speak in absolutes and like these big one of those like i think he's one of those like self-help gurus of like those kind of people who speak in absolutes and like these big sort of ideologies of just stupid bullshit the second you understand us like an ounce of nuance of him being like if you have i i think it is cheating if a man has an instagram he's cheating and it's like it's it's not about having pictures

it's not about what you're posting it's just the act of having an instagram and it's like it's it's not about having pictures it's not about what you're posting it's just the act of having an instagram and it's like i know that dude probably doesn't believe it but his market i'm sure absolutely needs to hear someone with a couple thousand or million followers say that so they can be justified yeah here's another one why would you trust women to begin with serious question if you're willing to confront your own humanity, you know the bad you yourself are capable of. Women are the same, but they're elevated to a position where society erases their inhibitions. They don't have to be good people. They can post all the thirst traps, sleep with all the guys, have all the OnlyFans, and people will praise them. Why trust them at all? In general, the type of woman who would want validation this way will chase it, and they will fall down the slippery slope man this person must be fucking miserable the thing is like the

whole point of seduction is you know to be with women so imagine actively spending so much time and effort and energy attracting women seducing women and having such a low opinion of women. Like, what does that mean to you? Like, if you have dedicated X amount of your personality and your time to getting validation and getting, you know, attention from someone you think is just like the dregs of humanity, that doesn't really paint you in a great picture either, dude. So if it's dane's

positive approach which i'd like to hope so tell them they look great give them the old hard eyes give them a like tell them in person also that they looked incredible like big them up everyone likes that you know what i mean if it's your friend do the same fucking thing you know if it's you being like insecure that they put up a hot picture then like get over yourself you know if you're dating them any pictures i put up is presumably going to be fucking hot like if my partner put up a picture be hot as hell get over it what the fuck you like if you're going to come in controlling and not let people post as one commenter suggested without like any pictures without you in it that's either a one-way stop to a garbage relationship or no relationship so don't do that and you also have

to consider that if if we're going to play in the space of seductions like mindset if this woman is so desperate for validation and you refuse to give it then like of course they're going to look elsewhere and like we can extrapolate that into the real world of being like if i'm with a partner who refuses to acknowledge anything nice about me or refuses to give me compliments or refuses to you know be nice to me i'm gonna go somewhere else and that doesn't necessarily mean i'm gonna cheat on them i'm just gonna leave them also if you are so worried that your partner is gonna cheat on you taking away instagram doesn't fix that it's not like shit that was the one

chance you did it you win this game of cheating chess where like now they're stuck with you it's like no man like if your partner wants to fuck off and hook up with someone else or cheat on you they could just do that you know what i mean so it's like a picture on instagram isn't a problem because it's either a problem or it isn't anyway and you need to fucking trust someone or not so get the fuck over it yeah if you're going to assume that like all it takes is one dm to to sway your partner into fucking someone else then you need to rethink who you're with 100 all right ready for more seduction this is by chili bob thornton it's a good username treadmill approaches recently at my local gym, I've observed a phenomenon. Twice this week, I've seen a beefy dude approach very attractive women on treadmills and strike up a conversation.

The women seem not only undisturbed, but straight up eating out of the palm of their hands completely mesmerized. Two separate meatheads and two separate HB8-9 ladies. What the fuck does that mean? It's like hot body. Oh my god, okay. The first guy may have had some seduction training, because he kept body rocking and turning as if to walk away, but I digress. They were definitely not couples, not best acquaintances. I found this fascinating because conventional seduction wisdom in a number of posts I've read have stated explicitly not to approach someone on a treadmill. They don't want to hear from you mid-workout.

One theory I have is it's so unconventional that by approaching with utmost confidence, these guys are sending super high-value, don't-give-a-fuck signals with their approaches. Another theory is pure social dynamics. These roided-out dudes, not slander, just facts, are kings in this jungle. Any thoughts? just facts are kings in this jungle any thoughts i mean i'm glad that there is rules and seduction saying not to bother people on treadmills because as much as you're probably used to women running away from you in this scenario they wouldn't actually be getting any distance away from you so it would be it would be unfair um what i will say is when I went to the gym once a week, like that was the

extent of my gym going every now and then if I really needed to work something out on the heavy bags and punch the shit out of something, I would go another time during the week. But that said, once a week for like an hour and a half, I saw consistently the same people every week, both in my class and like on the floor working out there is a very good chance of this if these people like work out in the same gym they didn't really say what they were saying right so it's like they literally could just be shooting the shit and like either work at the gym and are like personal trainers that like talk to their their friends or they're just gym buddies so there's no necessary there there isn't any sort of indication that like talk to their their friends or they're just gym buddies so there's no necessary there

there isn't any sort of indication that like unless you know she jumped off tore her clothes off and they you know fucked right there on the the fucking bench press station then it's like there is a very good chance that like it's just people that like do the do the 1 1 p.m lunch break workout that he was just like hey what's up how's it going so without context of like what was being said i love that yeah this person sees two people talking is like what it's seduction and that worries me a lot also just the general like hb8 to 9 and meatheads and like roided out dudes and kings in the jungle and like super high value don't give a fuck signals like all this like all this verbiage just makes me want to just vanish into a shadow realm where none of this

exists but this is exactly kind of what we were talking about i don't remember when anymore or in what episode but we were talking about how seduction views things through and and by we keep saying seduction but specifically the sort of like the toxic masculinity that is in the dudes that we are actively combating with this podcast they see things through this like weird lens and what might be a completely harmless thing when we were talking about negging where it's like oh playful teasing and banter is a lot of fun and a very effective way to sort of like build rapport with someone but what they probably saw was that man just made fun of her and this is probably exactly what's happening here of like someone

being like wait i thought we weren't supposed to hit on like in the terms of our terms of engagement in our you know douchebag geneva conventions, we're not allowed to talk to the treadmill woman. Treadmill woman's neutral. And they're just being like, wait, are we allowed to do this? That man is doing it and she doesn't seem to hate it. So this must be a new, we're entering a dawning, like a new era of seduction where treadmill woman is on the menu. It looks like treadmills on the menu boys.

It's like, no, it could just be that they know each other and they're chatting like human beings. Yeah. That's the thing. At no point is he like, Oh,

I guess they could have talked. I just also what's body rocking. Cause that sounds great. Like it sounds like the new, uh, like who do, who did party rock anthem i was gonna say it's yeah lmfao body yeah i need like an lmfao body rock uh everybody's in the club tonight oh it's just a gym the gym tonight everyone is on treadmills tonight you

can go up and talk without a fight and they gonna eat out of your palm they just wanna fuck you burn burn burn it's also one of those things where like you're like this guy's like oh these these muscle head gym freaks i'm like yeah man like if i don't know how often you're going to the gym but if you see a dude who's there all the time yeah they're gonna be fucking ripped i wish i had the like discipline to go to the gym every fucking every day to work out. Like that would be great. I would love I would love to have the body of someone who goes to the gym every day. I just don't have the willpower or the drive to do it.

Yeah. And even just like meatheads roided up, like just that weird kind of like, you know, insecure bitterness where like you're trying to knock them down a peg because you are jealous or some shit like just shut up stop all of this that's more important than whether or not you approach someone on a treadmill but secondly don't fucking approach someone on a treadmill like they're gonna be like they literally cannot leave yeah and if they do it's a it's such a huge disruption to what they're actually doing in a place that they're paying money to do it like it's one thing if like someone has to like move away from you at a bar, but like gym memberships aren't cheap and people's time is, is limited these days.

So like the fact that you might have to deter someone from doing something, they're paying a substantial amount of money and using what little free time they have to do because you're like, it's my, I'm, I can talk to treadmill woman.'s it's fucking garbage but i think we've been focusing too much on seduction and too much on like like negative stuff you know what i mean like we spent a lot of time over the past couple episodes really laying into seduction so i want to bring it back to people that i think

we can actually help all i've got is a seduction today. I know, which is why I'm trying to... I'm going to bring in some stuff that, like, that isn't this quagmire of fucking garbage. This is from Reddit user TheGoodHorse, which I hope is a Dr. Horrible reference. I hope so. Good horse, good horse. How can I get over the fact that my girlfriend

had sex with a guy from our group of friends that's disgusting and an asshole? My brain hurts imagining it. They had sex a few years ago. We've been together for two years now. The guy is pathetic. He steals money from his parents to buy drugs and is well known for betraying every single girlfriend he's ever had and being abusive physically and mentally. The fact that my girlfriend had sex with him multiple times in the past makes my brain hurt. I know it's in the past and it was a mistake and she deeply regrets it. And she says she was drunk every time, but I just,

it makes my skin crawl. I've never tried shaming her for it, but it's something that I know of and makes me sick every time I think about it. How can I look at it differently? At least in a way that won't make me feel sick and nauseous. Man, it's really upsetting that he says I haven't tried shaming her for it as if like it's on the cards.

Like I haven't yet, I haven't done yet. Should I? I think it's poor wording in the sense that like, I think he's saying i don't bring it up to shame her i don't think he's saying like how should we see this i don't know this is why we're gonna get you out of seduction you you immediately jump to worst case scenario maybe i spent like 24 hours on seduction last year um no so this isn't exactly the most fucking positive question either it's not but it's something that I think that we can actually like discuss and talk about instead of just being like, so not good shit.

In the sense that like this, I understand this dude's dilemma. I think he's also going about it the wrong way. But like, I understand, like, I know that feeling of like when everyone is well aware of, and this is more of like a work thing for me. It's like, usually there's like that one dude at work who's just like a dirt bag that someone will still sleep with. And people are like, why would you do this?

And everyone's like, I know he's terrible, but I did it anyway. And like, I understand that like idea of being like, what, what makes people actively choose to like be with terrible people um and then also dealing with the emotions of like being with someone that you know has been with them i think

is an interesting dynamic and i would like to hear your thoughts on it it's it's just like it's a kind of a jealousy by a different like a different flavor of jealousy almost you know what i mean like i think the advice here is the same as if there was a super hot friend that she had slept with and you can't like stop thinking about how good it must have been with this person it's just kind of the opposite of that coin and i think in either thing you just kind of need to get the fuck over it which i know is harsh and i know it's easier said than done but it's like you know you're with them you like them that should be enough for you to get over what they've done in the past because it doesn't fucking matter

you know what i mean they're not with them now they've said they regret it and it's like you being upset about it is only gonna hurt you or if you bring it up ever like shame them for their sexual past which we will never advocate you do so it's like you just gotta like you know i'm have you ever slept with someone that somebody else might be able to criticize you for? Because maybe everyone has different views on different people and different situations. So it's like, you're probably not 100% innocent. And even if you are, it's like, it just doesn't matter. Like you need to get over it because you can't have a relationship if that's going to be in the back of your head.

Yes, it is 100% one of those situations where you were, you're correct. Like imagine you had someone in your friend group that everyone knows has a giant dick. And if she had hooked up with them, would you also be like, I can't stop thinking about, you know, the fact that. So it is something. And now it's right. It's, you know, it's fucking, you know, spicy jealousy or jealousy, diet jealousy or something. Right. Like, it's a different.

It's the same drink. It's just a different rebrand that you definitely do need to process. And I don't think that really she has any role in processing it. It's, it's something that she did. I'm sure she's had to process it herself. If she is actually like, it looks back on it and regrets doing it. I'm sure she had to come to terms with it. And I'm sure she's not super proud of it. It's highly possible. She knows how you feel and is just saying she regrets it to make you feel better or to not fight or whatever. She doesn't even have to. Because this is your opinion on the guy, right?

Maybe she finds him sexy. You know what I mean? And that's all you really need to fuck someone. I assume the dude is decent looking or at least like that she did find him attractive. But I think you can also like I know a lot of people that I find attractive that I absolutely would not sleep. I'm just saying to like just because she says she regrets it doesn't necessarily mean she does. And like whether she does or doesn't shouldn't factor into any of this, because as you said, it's not a her issue. It's a you issue.

But at the end of the day, if for whatever, if she is like, no, I like I don't like I don't see any problem with the things that he does. And who cares if he cheats on his girlfriends. And like, if that's the situation, then like, maybe you don't, you aren't compatible ideal, like with, with ideology with your partner. If that's, if that's something that she doesn't care about and it's something that you do care about, then perhaps you need to reassess like who you're with. But it doesn't really seem like that is necessarily the issue. I think you really do just need to sit down and think about like why does this bother me so much okay the guy's an asshole but she just had sex with him and she's not crazy about the idea that she did so like that should be enough for you to be like okay she feels the same way i do but moment of weakness or bad judgment or giving into drunken whims, whatever.

Like we've all done it. And if you can't get over that, then you need to sort of move on. It's not up to like, you don't get to now make your partner feel like shit for something that they did before they met you years ago. No, a hundred percent. It's like, it is one of these things, like any jealousy. Like if there was a super hot guy, you just, you do need to process it on your own time, get over it. Like, I assume it is some kind of like, you don't like that this person has the privilege or the whatever. Or like,

maybe you feel like they think that they have one up on you or that like, it's lessening you that they've done the same thing you have, or like, whatever, like, these are all reasons that you might feel that way. You need to realize why and then get over that it's also possible that when they knew this guy like things always come out over time and it's like a fucking snowball effect so you knowing now how shit he is might not have been the extent to which he was known to be being shit back then so you might be judging it with kind of like the opposite of rose tinted goggles where you're looking back and you're using knowledge you have now that maybe wasn't widely available back then. So simply put, you got to get over it. And if you can't, don't be in this relationship.

But either way, don't shame your partner for it. Exactly. You ready for more seduction? This one, I think, will be very quick because I don't even know if you can answer. This is the typo tech cool like. The chase is over. What now? I got her to chase me and she did.

I gave her what she wanted. Now she shows practically zero effort. Should I do the same? It's sorry. She got what she wanted, but he didn't get what he wanted. I got her to chase me and she did. I gave her what she wanted. Now she shows practically zero effort. Should I do the same? Yeah, I would love to chase me and she did. I gave her what she wanted. Now she shows practically zero effort.

Should I do the same? Yeah, I would love to know what that means. Like, does that mean that you slept with her? What kind of fucking question is this? We have no details. We have nothing. Why would you say this? But this is, again, this is sort of the mentality of seduction that like one size fits all.

That like nuance and details don't matter that it's just sort of like the i am man this i am woman and this is this is the like current situation how how fix it is almost like uh oh you gave her what you she wanted damn it you idiot yeah like that's like what does that mean like is it what she said she wanted or is it what you think she wanted is it just like women want flour i gave her flour now now no effort what do yeah it's you're right there is no answer to this because there's really no question this there is no question i do want a real one yeah okay let's let's do this this is from dating advice so not seduction. But it sounds like seduction. This is by OK Satisfaction2943. Said hi to a girl as she went to her class.

Now she unfollowed me on Instagram moments later. What do I do next? Do I assume she isn't interested? She seemed a bit uncomfortable when I said hi for some reason. I guess she doesn't like me. So do I just forget about her and avoid her or go up to her and ask? Would sending a message be another option considering she unfollowed and probably blocked me? Not sure yet. Man, that's I mean, I get I don't know how you said hello and I don't know your relationship with this person prior. That's a pretty harsh thing to do. Like imagine going up to someone in school, just be like, hey, how are you?

And then the next thing you know you're blocked but now that is the thing is what kind of person like dang if i blocked you how long would it take you to to notice yeah i mean i i don't know who who follows i don't honestly don't know how to check that to me well i assume like you would try to go on my profile or notice that you hadn't seen my shit and like wouldn't be able to and that would tip you off which i imagine if i got blocked yes but i'm followed like but like right now he's probably yeah unfollowed there's no notification like i would still see their stuff like your stuff right like the i wouldn't know that you

followed me oh yeah i don't know if they're private. Oh, yeah. If they're private, though, right? I guess I don't even fucking know. But the thing is, that's what I mean. It's like this person somehow figured that out that quickly, which is a little glimpse into how obsessed and weird they are about this person, which I'm assuming is not well hidden, hence the blocking and the uncomfortableness that's what i'm imagining there's you've got to look at two things i think one what's your relationship with this person prior do you have you ever talked to them before or do you only

like creep on them in social media like what also what is your interactions with them on the social media you know what i mean like are you constantly saying creepy things to them? Are you constantly just like liking their stuff? Because like, that's fine. But if you're also them being like, you're so beautiful. I can't wait to see you at school tomorrow and then never say anything to them. And you've never said anything to them prior to that. It would be a lot.

So maybe you're coming on way too strong and you freak them out i don't really like the idea of unfollowing someone and not blocking them is very strange to me so again does it say how old these people are it doesn't they're in university though oh okay so way older like i would never think if someone creeped me out i would never think hey i need to unfollow this person that's that's a strange reaction to have as well so i don't know the whole thing seems very strange to me of being like i because we don't know what their relationship is prior to any of this but my like if i was unnerved by someone i probably wouldn't be following them in the first place yeah maybe i honestly i do not know. So let's go through the questions.

What do I do next? Leave it. You've made an effort, and they did something very drastic and very strange and very clearly as a means to separate ties from you. Do I assume she isn't interested? Yes. Sorry, because you're about to pretty much answer that, I think. Yeah. Do I forget about her and avoid her or go up to her and ask about it i mean don't ask about it hey hey claire claire come back come back why why'd you want to follow me yeah i mean like i get you could i guess

but the answer is not going to be great so yeah do you forget about her yeah do you ignore her or avoid her no that's weird too just go about your life and you know if a social situation comes up where you guys have to interact don't be fucking weird and realize that like this person also might be fucking weird or socially strange if like this is their their knee-jerk reaction is like oh i don't like him talking to me unfollow what is the case it's like either you are in the wrong and you've been doing something creepy and weird even if you don't know it and it's like okay in that case you should leave her alone or you haven't done anything wrong and this person is a bit fucking weird at which point you should also not put

yourself in that situation so it's like it's it's very clear cut. Just leave it. Step away. It couldn't be more obvious if they're like, you know, uncomfortable when you talk to them and then distancing from you on social media. Don't send them a message, which is the next question. Just leave it. That's a pretty clear response. It's like if you went to pet a fucking dog and the dog was like growling and like backed up in a corner. It's like, leave the poor thing alone. Not reducing. Well, you know, I guess it's like if you went to pet a fucking dog and the dog was like growling and like backed up in a corner it's like leave the poor thing alone not reducing well you know i'm i guess it's weird maybe to compare women to dogs you know i'm not comparing them i'm just giving you

an example this is a very clear signal respect it yeah does it suck sure maybe look at what you've done you know and make sure that you're not in the wrong you know i don't think there's any harm and kind of like giving yourself the old once over, but, uh, smooth on. Yeah. I hate me.

This come from fruit Marzipans. How do you stay positive after failed dates? I'm a 28 year old female and I've been on so many hinge dates and I'm just feeling so hopeless. Either end up not liking them or they don't like me. How do you stay positive and keep going? Also, what are some tips to find successful matches? I usually do a facetime date before meeting up with them okay well i think like failed date is a pretty broad term so i don't know if it's like you went

the date the date sucked or you went the date the date was good and didn't go anywhere you know after like there was no second date or i don't know what that means but like they say not liking them or they don't like me so I don't think it's necessarily like a catastrophic date I think it's just like it fizzles after that that first attempt well I think on one hand you gotta look at the fact that like there are people you don't like so it stands to reason some people aren't gonna like you and that's good because if it was always just like I like them they don't like me it's harder to wrap your head around that, I think.

So it's like, take solace in the fact that like, you know, I'm sure a lot of the people you met were super lovely. They just didn't do it for you. So it's like, don't take it as a personal thing. You know, it's not necessarily a failing of yours. It's just, it didn't work out. Two, enjoy the dates for what they are. I had a bunch of, you know, quote unquote failed dates that were still fun.

I either met interesting people or I went to an interesting place or like, you know, it was just a decent night and like, sure, it didn't go anywhere. But like for what it was, it was fine. Like it wasn't a waste of a night, really. It was fun. And I think that's really important. Like if you're going on dates that aren't fun necessarily, or at least if you can't take other things from the dates like it's

it gets to be a bit of a grind yeah so just make sure like you're going fun places and with fun people just like kind of enjoying them for what they are same with relationships you know what i mean like if something ends you should always just like remember the good times at least and be like cool it wasn't a waste as for good matches i would love to know why you don't like the people you don't like but without the context it's kind of hard for me to to know why you don't like the people you don't like. But without the context, it's kind of hard for me to, to clarify. Like you said, you're, you're doing zoom calls before you go or whatever. And it's like, okay, so you see that they have a face that represents their dating profile. But like, what is it about them there that changes between talking and actually

meeting up? Like, what is it that you didn't know you didn't like until you saw them in person because surely you've talked and surely you've seen how they look so i'd love to know like what is missing there because maybe that's the thing you need to to nail down on yeah i'm not too concerned with the the second part of the question because like it is like trying to tell someone how to get successful matches without knowing anything about them or who they are is a is a fool's errand. You can't do it. But you bring up the FaceTime date, which I think is is could be working against you, because if people people get weird about first dates, people get nervous. And if they blow all their like first date material in this Zoom and then you go and like you meet up with someone where you've already done sort of like those that back and forth of like getting to know each other questions

you're then in territory of being like you've essentially had your first date so you're now entering in a second date without really having your first date so all the first date nerves are now on the second date yeah and and like i think that also might be ruining your flow a little bit. I understand. And I support people who do like the FaceTime or the phone call to one, verify people for safety and to make sure, you know,

that you're not wasting your time. I totally get it. But if this is something you're doing consistently, I would maybe try skipping it and being surprised on the date because worst case scenario, you've gotten

catfished. They're not who they say you are. And you dip. It doesn't seem like you're too concerned about wasting time anyway, because you're going on all these dates that aren't going anywhere. So the difference between doing one more, I would, I would give that a try. I would try dipping the FaceTime out or keeping it very simple and being like, you know, having like a 10 minute conversation and not doing like a whole sort of conversation. But going back to the first thing about failed dates, I think Niall really real nailed it with the whole date should be fun. And you shouldn't be going there being like, this is the person I marry because you're putting so much expectation on a person that you have no idea what they're really about. So go there with the enthusiasm and the excitement of meeting somebody new and seeing what that

means. Don't go in being like, I hope this person is my boyfriend, or I really think they're super attractive. I hope they like me. No, don't worry about that. They obviously find you attractive. They've agreed to go on a date with you. So push that off to the side and just go and have a good time and have a conversation that

isn't the interview questions that go and have a good time and have a conversation that isn't the interview questions that everyone has on a first date and just just relax and have have a fun date and then if it's not a great day like if you guys then be like ah we didn't really click okay great you still had a fun night shot a great night move on i've probably gone on easily over a hundred dates and I could count on maybe like two hands, the amount, probably on one hand, the amount of dates that I would say were bad dates. I think maybe two dates come to mind when I think of like bad dates right now. And one was because she showed up just far. Well, she didn't show up fucked up. She got really drunk really fast somehow, which I don't know whether it was like they don't usually drink or they were on like medicine that interacted or they had shown up drunk. And like, I was just like, what are you doing?

I need to put you in a taxi and send you home. It was like an hour and a half into the date. And then the other one, which was the worst date ever, which I think I've talked about before. And it's like, yeah, that's about it. All the other ones have been really fun. And there's been a lot. Yeah. I mean, I've gone on really, I would say probably the, the date I had, like to the dates that

I had probably the most amount of fun where we decided like midway through that, like we, we didn't vibe like sexually or romantically and we just had a great fucking time and that like it's weird to say that like the the date that had no romantic prospects was one of the most enjoyable dates i've been on and i think you need to like bring that energy and like that was a that was an eye-opener for me of being like oh cool i should just be having a fucking blast and if i'm not having a blast then i'm gonna call it early you know what i mean you're not obligated to spend your entire night with someone meet them meet up with them and after two hours you're not having a good time tell them you're tired tell me it's work in the morning

like it doesn't matter those white lies don't matter especially if you're not interested in the person move on don't don't waste your time and money on someone you're not interested in but if you go in being like hey let's have a fucking blast and you end up having a blast then who cares if like you know you get home you're like eh not really someone i would date but had a great night also like you're gonna be more attractive if you're having fun as well so it's like i don't know what your dates are but like this is kind of a win-win where like people are going to be more likely to like you if you're having a blast and they're having a blast. You know what I mean? It's more enjoyable as I have grown up that like a lot of the first date jitters are kind of gone.

A lot of people are just like happy to hang out with people, especially like in COVID and all that. I think avoiding the interview questions or playing a game. I really like to anytime anyone used to ask me like, oh, what do you do for a living? I'm like, okay, I will answer that question. But you have to ask me a weird question first. Like you've got to ask me something that like, isn't about where I grew up, or where I went to school, like hit me with a weird question, then I'll tell you what I do for my job. And that's like a really fun icebreaker that I've found has led to far more interesting conversations. And like, yeah, I went to school here and then I studied this and then I graduated and then I moved to the city. And like, no one gives a shit about that.

That's all stuff that will come up in passing conversation that you don't need to know. Have like weird conversations with your dates before you get into like their family history yeah we did like me and my partner did like a rolling game of i never um along a giant like pub crawl that we did down this stretch and like at one point like a bartender came over and was like hey you guys are awesome so i made you both cocktails because like i'm having like third hand fun or second hand fun just like being near you guys they were like what like what date is this we need to know we're like first date they were like what the fuck like we want to come out drinking with you guys and we're like well maybe next time and then we climbed a crane it was great that is a very similar response for but i i almost exclusively sit at the bar when i go on dates i

that's i mean i almost sit at the bar anytime i go regardless and the amount of times bartenders have sort of like interacted with us in in a fun way and it's also great to have the bartender on your side like to have the backing and the support of a bartender is it's it's fucking like date uh ambrosia it's it's gonna solve so many problems because like that moment of being like if you guys have a really good time you're like ah should we do another that bartender's gonna come over and wingman you real hard and be like hell yeah you should or you know as you're paying your bill shots appear or like it's just like there's also they also are great for filling voids you know i mean like if if you guys are starting to like slow down i know i do this

if i notice that like a conversation is petering out i will try to like re-inject something back into a conversation and then fucking run away if you're a seem like a decent person i will tank your date if you sound like an asshole 100 have to so that's that's our tips for for staying positive because like if if you don't go in thinking like ah this this date failed if you end the night being like that was a lot of fun i think that it's way easier to stay positive right like it's it's all a mindset that you need to switch into that's like you're gonna be more excited for the next one as well you know yeah even with even if it's not the same person oh yeah no that's what i mean like just going on a date because it's going to be hopefully a fun night out anyway you know and it's like it doesn't matter that the

last one you know failed because it wasn't a failure the fun night and that's like that's what date one is so good luck and having fun also might unlock like something that you actually really do like about a person. You know what I mean? There have been times where I've gone on dates where like the first sort of like 30 minutes was kind of like, eh. And then for whatever reason, I found out that they're super into D&D or super into like something. And it's like that like is beyond sort of the realm of like the first date questions, then yeah, you're going to, you're going to keep having the same date over and over and over again. And it's going to, it's going to wear you down. This is seduction to finish us off.

Okay. This is Garrett the Barrett. What are predictors slash indicators that a woman has special women has high body count squad likes to guess things like interests of people and developed a guessing game of course verifying afterwards for the lols but we haven't stumbled across potential indicators for high or low body count yet since it's hard to verify except asking what could be indicators for number of past sexual partners in a woman since with guys it's pretty easy now come on you can't fucking say that and not give

us the indicators for what a high body count man looks like right I know but guess what I'll bet it's oh yeah he's a roid he's a meathead he's a roid he's king of the jungle yeah like I think a lot of people

the average person I think would look at me and be very surprised at my you know quote unquote body count 100 not 100 about you but i mean in general it's like wow there is no well i'm saying they wouldn't be surprised you look like just it's a dirty boy oh so so i look like a meathead to you huh okay yeah you're king of the jungle bro real king of the jungle over here bro you've always been king of the jungle to me bro your lion's mane you roar fucking jungle bro and that's i guess that's why this is an easy fucking question because there isn't there isn't for fucking man there isn't for fucking women like get over yourself and It doesn't matter.

Stop it Garrett. Yeah it's such a wild thing. And it's like look this could be a fun game. If you know what I mean. Like if you're boys and you run into a group of women. And you guys are all getting along and having a thing. And you guys all decide that like this is the game to play. It's like we're going to try to guess each other's body counts.

Perfect. Great. That could be fun. It could be a lot, a lot of fun, but to like, look at a woman without interacting with them or whatever, and being like,

I bet she slept with this many people is gross. That's a gross thing to do because the only thing you're going to be doing is like, you'll probably look at like what they're wearing, like how they're dressed, how attractive you find them you know the shape of their body all very arbitrary things to judge a person by and then making really gross assumptions about those things so that's the thing it being seduction it's i'm sure either used as a slut shaming technique or some kind of like weird dousing rod to find the best person to assault

on a treadmill. So just fuck off. Yeah. I think fuck off is the right answer to this question. Perfect. At the end of our episodes, we like to peruse online dating platforms and comb the profiles for red flags and find out what works and what doesn't work in an effort to make your online dating experience a little more enjoyable. So our first one up is sent into us all the way from the Philippines from the wonderful agent kingdom. Thank you very much. And it's a bumble profile. No name about me.

I'm tired. Dating apps are draining and I'm just fucking exhausted. So please don't waste my time. Is that it? That's it. That's this gentleman's profile. It's like, I just just i want to know and i understand like this guy probably is very defeated he's probably had some bad times the the algorithm and the way these dating apps are meant to literally make you feel this way so

you pay for the premium memberships so like i understand where he's coming from but to then also think that this is a valid tactic that would attract anyone that isn't also as miserable or bleak as you like it's it's baffling to me because like i don't know who would look at that and be like yes this is the one yeah fuck i've been looking for a really exhausted defeated defeated man. Yeah. It's gotta be like a two. One? A one, I guess. There's no redeeming quality to it. Yeah. I'm giving it a one you. Yeah, yeah, I'm giving it a zero because it is Garbo. I'll give it a one because I'm probably going to drop a zero on what you're about to say. Okay, that's fair. This is Ola. This is probably the person who just asked the last question.

My biggest dating fail. Didn't like him. So boring. Why would you pick that prompt and just be like well you know what hold on on that on that note this is a completely different person this is aaron from this is hinge two truths and a lie pass all right zero for both you didn't have to pick that one aaron aaron there is there's like a hundred different prompts that you could have chose that you did want to answer why did you

choose the one you had no interest in answering yeah i that like i hate her it's very strange and i zeros zeros all around hey you ready for this while we're speaking about really exciting bumble prompts this is mara dorkiest thing about me is i'm really into books okay wow no you said books right not bugs yes bucks books wow what a fucking dweeb what a dork man fucking nerd imagine saying that like the most anything about you is a very common thing. Yeah. Well, craziest thing I've done is watch Netflix. Okay.

Craziest thing I've done, breakfast for dinner. You're into books? That's not dorky. And any person that thinks that is is like. It is dorky. Is it? Yeah. person that thinks that well it's like hmm it is dorky is it yeah bunch of fucking nerds putting on their glasses sitting and sitting in a fucking

sitting in a chair reading a book oh chair I didn't know there'd be a chair involved uh alright Johnny Lawrence uh that's gonna get like it's gonna get a one because I'm into books so I like that part but it's losing nine points because you think that's a dorky, exciting thing.

This is Faith. Get Boba with me and I'll love you forever. Also, I need a crime doc partner. Fully vexed. Can someone respectfully blow my back out as well? Okay, I like that. I like, you know, you know that they want Boba. You know that they want true crime stuff.

They're vaxxed. It all seems pedestrian and fun, but still informative. And then that's both funny and sexy. They pull the fucking rug out from under you. Love it. It's a great profile. It's a 10. It gives us a little something, and we know what we're getting into.

Yeah, I'm giving it a 10 as well yeah because like that's funny not like it's funny it's original it works well with like the pedestrian start and like the wild ending and it also gives you stuff about them that's interesting and personal love it uh this is dominica bad english with perfect polish accent six foot three tall and I like taller man. Wink. Regina, Canada or Regina. I don't know the fuck how it's pronounced in Canadians. Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada.

Just left my engineering job to become a full-time tattoo artist. In Hawaii till February. Outdoors, adventures, hikes, travels. Yes, please. She seems kind of cool. I don't really have anything about it. I mean, usually I, you know, we give people shit for the height thing, but like six, three is pretty tall. You know, that, that is a, that's an exceptionally tall person.

So I understand why, why we're putting it in there. Um, still don't love it, you know, but like, I think if I was going on a date with someone and they ended up being six three i'd be like oh fuck you're fucking huge um so like you know i get it and i understand the preference um it's when people are like i'm five six and i prefer my men to be taller it's like yeah okay all right like i understand that there are men out there that exist that aren't taller than five six or are five six i get it but like don't act like you're fucking you know six two yeah you know what like it's not that bad you know i like taller men sure that's fine it's you're not saying only taller men and on top of that it's like well i used to be an engineer and i hear a full-time tattoo artist that's fucking cool you're in hawaii that's good good to know like

you know if we start talking at least i'll know you're in hawaii until february and like outdoor adventure hikes travels yes please cool like this is all fine bad english with perfect polish accent is funny also very hot in my opinion yeah but also like it's very ironic because that's a very well put together like joke so it's like, obviously your English ain't that bad, Dominica. You fucking liar. Get a zero for lying. This is Cassie. Welcome aboard.

Oh, sorry. It's going to be an eight. Yeah, it's solid. I'll give it a seven. Welcome aboard Cassie's Tinder. Well, first I should say she's a flight attendant. Cool. Welcome aboard Cassie's Tinder with service and fun adventure.

We'll be flying at an altitude of spontaneity. Please ensure your baggage is stowed and your job is in an upright position. Animals are welcome on board. Smoking is not permitted. Netflix and beverages can be purchased on today's flight. Ensure your devices are set to Cassie mode and your seatbelt is fastened, especially during areas of turbulence.

To evacuate the aircraft, swipe left. Otherwise, sit back, relax, and enjoy this ride. It's fucking wonderful. It's absolutely fucking wonderful. 10. Boom. Incredible. Good job.

My God. It might be my favorite dating profile I've heard, apart from our good friend, Agent Deep Blue Sea. It is very good, and I approve of it 100%. That's fucking awesome. Can we get you on the show and just fucking applaud you? I mean, there's a good chance we know someone who knows them.

Yeah, that's great. If you know this person or if you are this person, clap, clap, clap, clap. You did it. That's fucking wonderful. Good job. Now, ready to flip that around and hear what A has to say? Sure. looking to date uninjected please

now are we is this finally a woman who doesn't think that the meatheads are king of the jungle yes that's clearly it she's like no roidy boys i just want my skinny freaks. Yeah. Yeah. We know how we feel about fucking unvaccinated and like, but using that as a means to date, even just the fact that that's it means that one, like I know nothing about you. Cool.

But two, it's like, that's how important, like, fuck you. No zero minus 10. Yeah. I'm going to give it a below zero as well. That's going to do that's that's gonna be the end of the show and we appreciate you coming along for the ride it

means the world to us we love you uh if you have a question that you would like to get on the show please feel free to send it on over visit us at fbuddiespodcast.com click the old contact form fill it out you can assign your own agent name or we will give one to you. We keep everything anonymous. Your secrets are safe with us. If you'd like to support the show, you can head on over to FBuddiesPodcast.com and click the Patreon link. And that'll bring you to our donation page where you can pledge a certain amount. If you do the $7, you get access to an extra episode every month at the end of the month.

There are six up currently, which you get access to an extra episode every month at the end of the month there are six up currently which you get access to immediately and then the new one at the end of every month we appreciate the fuck out of every single person who's already supporting us we really love it it helps us be able to do this because we love you guys and we want to do it but it takes time and effort and money

and you make that possible by supporting us so we really appreciate it if you're on the fence why not jump off the fence onto the side that supports us um we've also got a brand new show out with two of our very very good friends called no quest for the wicked it is a actual play podcast that takes place in space um if you're not sure what that is it is us playing a game called starfinder which is very similar to dnd um it is a mix of sort of like improv storytelling and radio drama we've had a great time it's been a lot of fun the reception's been amazing um and we're doing a fun little thing uh this month where we're releasing a new episode every week instead of every other week so it's a

great time to to jump on board and start binging. Yeah, 100%. Also, thank you, Josh Eagle and the Harvard Cities for their song Paper Stars. Do you have some bad sex writing for us? Oh, you know it. So this is Rogue Messiahs by Colin Wilson. In the case of Kirk Allen, the basic energy involved was clearly sexual. His problems began with the nymphomaniac governess. Most of us feel a 12-year-old boy would enjoy being seduced and introduced to sex with an attractive young woman, but forgetting boys' sexual fantasies involves situations in which

he takes the lead, in which the woman of his dreams mysteriously yields and gives herself willingly. Key words here are yields and gives. The essence of male sexuality lies in the fact that it's active, not passive. By using Kirk as a sex toy, the governess turned this basic situation upside down. Now instead of lusting after pretty teenagers and wondering how they can be persuaded to remove their clothes, Kirk cannot get out of his head the vague fear they may turn and pursue him. Any hint of sexual demand is enough to make him flee. Yeah, because this poor child was sexually assaulted.

I don't think that's the case. I think what's the real issue here is that she didn't yield what the fuck Colin hey no you're right she didn't stop that's the problem well yeah but I love how like actually I hate all of this every single aspect of it but like my god like how many

toxic is it a competition to fit as much toxic things into two paragraphs as possible? Because this is fucked. It's a strong contender. I mean, like, I hate that this is the last thing we do because I don't think we can go another hour talking about how bad this is. And by the fact, I mean, like, we could go another hour, but this is the end of the show. So we do have to stop.

But this is, you know what? Actually, you know what? Let's talk about this next week. Sure. Because I think there is a lot to discuss. And I don't know if I feel comfortable like making a joke at the end of this about it. I would like to come back to this next week. Okay.

Well, I will save it. My name is Dave Miller. And I'm Niles Bain. We've been your fuck buddies