F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 195 - Summer Sex Toy-A-Palooza 2: Electric Bugaloo

Episode Date: June 27, 2022

Head on over to http://lovehoney.co/Fbuddies and use our limited time code: FUCKBUDDIES20 The fine folks over at LoveHoney have hit your boys up again for another spectacular episode regarding all things sex toys!  Topics include sloppy, sneaky dildo usage, sex toy safety, vibrator jealousy and insecurities, breaking out of pandemic vibrator monotony, choosing the perfect sex toy with your partner, a potato baby update and advocating for sex toys being used the way they're meant to be.

Hey listeners, before we get to the episode, we want to take a moment to address the June 24th Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe v. Wade. This decision stripped away the legal right to have a safe and legal abortion. Restricting access to comprehensive reproductive care, including abortion, threatens the health and independence of all Americans and others should other countries do this too. This decision could also lead to the loss of other rights. To learn more about what you can do to help, go to choice.crd.co. We encourage you to speak up, take care, and when I'm trusting, I love. I put my trust in you. I put my trust in love. Hello, friends.

My name is Dave Miller. And I'm Niall Spain. And we're your fuck buddies. We are a dating and sex advice show where we take your sticky, sexy situations and turn them into sexy sticky situations. Simply put, we're a sexy dating advice show that finds questions either online through our wonderful listeners or, in today's case, we focus on a specific theme. This week we are sponsored once again by the excellent folks over at Love Honey. They are, as you probably know from last week, last week, last week, last week, they are the world's largest online sex toy shop for the past 20 years.

Not only are they famous for offering the widest selection of lingerie and sex toys, including the revolutionary WeVibe and something we'll be talking about today. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. But also for their unparalleled customer service. In honor of this exciting partnership, we are bringing you another episode all about the wonderful world of sex toys, courtesy of our friends over at Love Honey. Yeah.

Should we hit them with the link and the deets? Yes. Hell yeah. So if you go to www.lovehoney.co forward slash FBuddies and when you're checking out, type in FBuddies20, all capitals, you'll get 20% off site-wide. And let me tell you,

there's a lot of cool stuff on there. I had a look, and there's stuff I didn't even know existed. And there's stuff I'm familiar with that even the stuff I'm familiar with has now been built upon or made better. We talked about the Nova 2 last week and the fact that you can connect it to an app and get some long-distance loving going with your partner. And that's just awesome. So if you're intrigued, if you want to spice things up a little, I would definitely go check it out because,

and I mean this very sincerely, they have something for everyone. Everybody. It's crazy. I would, I would be shocked if someone went on that site and was just like, Nope, not a damn thing here.

And maybe not, you know, maybe not something that you're ready to purchase quite yet, but I promise that there is something out there that would get you thinking that you would definitely like it would be you would be cozying in bed and you'd be like about to go to sleep and then you'd be like but actually hold on and then you wouldn't be able to stop thinking about whatever you saw there's also lingerie and lube for example i think we can all get behind some there's a lot of staples as well like hygiene products lube condom there's a bunch of stuff there that you can get that everyone needs if they're having sexual interactions.

It's great. So hop on, check it out, and we'll give you a little 20% off. All right, you ready? Oh, yeah. No, this is by deleted user. But it is. I, 26-year-old female, caught my boyfriend, 23-year-old male, using my dildo. As the title suggests, I caught my boyfriend using one of my dildos to masturbate in the bathroom

four days ago. The way I found out was because I saw my dildo in a different position than I have them. There were missing lube packets and there was a mess with lube and stuff in the bathroom when I came back from work that day. We've used the dildo for pegging before, so it's not news for us, but I do find it odd. He would use my toy in my house without really telling me.

I understand we don't have to tell each other everything, but this is not the first time he has done this and has filled my head with crazy ideas. The way I found out last time was because I was going mindlessly through his photos in his phone and there were videos of him using it on my bed, yet I never received these videos. There was a lot of drama that happened during this time, and eventually when I confronted him, his reply was, I just wanted to see how it looked when you do it to me, and since you like using it on me I want to get used to the

feeling but I cannot get out of my head that maybe those videos went somewhere or to someone and I can't stop thinking that maybe he's taking videos and photos this time because he was texting me while he was in the bathroom while using it I have a dog cam in my studio and I matched the times we went in there when he was texting me and it was pretty consistent back and forth I think that woman would be busy trying to come with butt play so him being on the phone brings him more suspicion now he's assured me he's straight that i've been the first and only girl that's pegged him and just likes it when i'm the one pegging him and doing things up there lol but i'm also bi so i more than anyone know what it is like to be into both sexes my questions are one how do i bring it up

i think it's unsanitary to be making a mess with my dildo and not cleaning properly and using something without my knowledge two any guy who also likes mess of my dildo and not cleaning properly and using something without my knowledge. Two, any guy who also likes to use a dildo, should it be a private masturbation matter? Three, has anyone had a similar experience where he became bi-curious because of butt play? We have a pretty rocky relationship because he has broken my trust many times. I cannot stop thinking about this matter. Okay, a couple quick things I will say. One, yes, you are correct.

Bringing it up is important if he's not cleaning it properly. You can get all manner of diseases mixing stuff that comes in your butt to stuff that goes into your vagina. It is bad news. You don't want to cross the streams. I act like this is a Ghostbusters situation. Crossing the streams, bad idea. Don't do it.

And anytime you use a toy, it should be clean. Yeah. We mentioned that last week cleanliness is just a very important part of pretty much every sexual act, but you know, sex toys in general, like it's, it's one of those things. It's, it's non-negotiable. It's just the thing you have to do. Right. Love honey offers some really good wipes for doing this on a lot of stuff there. I also think it's important to, if you own the toy, if you're okay with them using it, that's fine, but your consent has to be there.

Like it is your property. You know what I mean? So I think it is just kind of common courtesy to ask your partner about using their toy. I can understand the lines being blurred if this toy had been used on him prior. For sure. Right?

I think that if once you enter that sort of like negotiation or contract of being like oh this is the toy you use on me so i understand him thinking that maybe it's not that big of a deal to use privately yeah i think it's understandable and if that's the case that it is a deal a big deal then you as the partner need to let them know that either you're not okay with them using it without you for some reason or that you need to like talk so that you're on the same page so the parameters can be established that like you can let them but again presumably on the agreement that they clean up both in the bathroom and the toy itself yeah that that was i think the part of the question

that upset me the most was this guy just went to town on himself and was just like, all done. You know what I mean? Just like wandered away. I didn't clean up anything that he used. Didn't clean up the toy. Didn't clean up the mess that he made. Like I, in no world can I get my head around that. That is the most upsetting thing for me.

I will say it's probably a good sign with regards to them being suspicious. Cause like if he was trying to do this, you know secretive like you failed yeah yeah it's much easier to be like hey i know you fucking did things because you made a goddamn mess as opposed to being like i checked my dog camera and with the times that you were texting me that seems a little more sherlock holmes yeah than just being like yeah you made a fucking mess you just didn't clean up the toilet. Left a big lube disaster. And the worst thing is they say lube and other stuff, but it's not connected to that. The other thing that was brought up, there was three points.

The last one, I think, was Buzzsuff leading to bi-curiosity. There's no reason to believe that this man is bi-curious unless he's having sex with another man. Yeah, the act itself has no bearing on your sexual orientation. And I think it's just a weird, like homophobic holdover.

So get that out of your mind. It's also a complete sort of, it's something that like has been, you know, locked away in men's sexuality for a very long time where it's like, we have erogenous zones in our butt. Yep. The easiest way to access our prostate.

The only way to access our prostate, the only way to access our prostate is the safest way is, is through the anus. So, but like, because anal sex is sort of the predominant way that gay men have had sex, there's been a huge taboo about straight men having anal sex or having, you know, things inserted into them or or you know anal sort of stimulation of any sort but that doesn't make you gay doesn't make you bi-curious

unless the person who is doing the things to you is also a man yeah then yes perhaps but a straight man who likes to pleasure himself or receive pleasure from his partner, like his heterosexual partner, does not become gay the second you insert something into his ass. That's not how it works. I also think we need to fucking jettison that whole kind of like stigma into the sun. And I think this also might be part of the reason why he's so secretive about the act. Because a lot of people feel shame about it. And it's kind of not really socially acceptable yet. Again, it should be yeah because i think a lot of people can justify it being like well it's not gay a woman was doing it but the second it's them by themselves is this gay yeah and again like

that's not how homosexuality works that's not how sexuality works like you don't like is it gay if i jerk off it's a man's hand right right? Like it's a stupid thing to think. Yeah. It's also annoying that the people who are like, Oh, that's great. Are still also equating being gay with being a bad thing. It's like being gay is a great thing.

Pleasure yourself is a great thing. So it's like, we just, that whole fucking negative toxic stigma shit away. Men should be allowed to pleasure themselves however they want. And I think you'd actually see a drastic decrease in violence because one of one of the big things is one uh you know straight men tend to be the leading cause of violence towards uh trans people um but also i imagine uh straight people who are sort of experiencing or exploring their sexuality with a shit ton of shame and guilt and all that

kind of stuff based on on societal expectations and pressure and cultural stuff they're more likely to abuse or hurt yeah gay partners or homosexual partners out of that shame and guilt that they feel because of all this bullshit so if we stopped being so weird about men exploring things in specifically pleasure through the anus i think you we would see a drastic decrease in violence against like uh gay people and trans people because you know they there's this we've talked so much about it of being like men think that the second anything touches their ass their their sexuality shifts. Well, we've literally had people bring questions to us about

men who won't properly clean themselves out back because they're worried that like, oh, it's good. And like, that's just insanity. So, yeah, it's also getting put in the care package going to the sun. It's not even a care package, it's a fuck package. No, it sounds good too. Damn it.

It's a shit package. But either way. So I. Yeah. Damn it. It's a shit package. But either way. So I think all this to say, talk to them. Because one, you need to establish boundaries. Two, you need to establish hygiene. Yeah. But like, if you're okay with him using this toy or expressing himself in this way, which I assume you are, because you're pegging him and all that stuff. Maybe come to a way where he can use that toy or get a new toy. 20% off love,

honey go right now. Yeah. So it'll be his and like, take that shame away. So they don't have to sneak around. And it's like, if you do that and they're still sneaking around, yeah,

maybe they haven't come to terms with yet, or maybe there's something to be suspicious of then. But like, I think until you really broach that subject and be that accepting, like helpful partner, I don't think the like suspicion route is the way to go because they're not exactly being the most stealthy here yeah i there's no you've given us no reason to believe that he's doing anything shady other than taking videos and maybe texting you while he's doing it it's like for all you know it's like maybe you like i don't know if he texted you first or maybe you texted him like maybe he's

watching porn or something and the phone was there and he was using it like i don't know i i don't know it is a little weird to be texting while you're doing things but maybe maybe he loved it so much he was one and done and then he just sat there in a pool of lube texting i mean there's also people who wear butt plugs out in public right like maybe maybe was maybe i was thrilled to do something more mundane with like this hidden secret that's you know that's what i'm thinking it's like maybe it was just sort of like him trying it out figuring it out he had a little bit of privacy let's and you know maybe he was doing it in in bursts or or i was gonna say doses but i don't think that's, that's not the right word. Microdosing. Yeah.

One CC. Microdosing. Who knows how big this dildo is? So just, I think approach this from, you can go a positive route or you can go a negative route. And I think so many things

seem to be in the realm of positivity. That would be very easy for you to have an accepting talk, either share the toy or get a new toy as well. Again, love honey 20% off. But then like that's a stepping stone towards like acceptance and like more fun, presumably. And I don't see why you would ever not take that way. So go that way and we'll see on the other side.

Yeah. This is from Reddit user, maybe little jackfruit. Little jackfruit. Or threeJackfruit? I-I-I Jackfruit? I'm not sure. Not sure how it's going to shake out. Bleeding heavy after using sex toy. Honestly, this is so

embarrassing. But a couple days ago, I used a sex toy. But I didn't use lube or anything. I know. Big mistake. And hurt hella bad when I put it in me. I mean, obviously, I didn't use lube. And I'm a virgin, so I think I caused damage in me. I mean, obviously, I didn't use lube, and I'm a virgin, so I think I caused damage down there. It hurts really bad. I've been bleeding and hurting since. I don't want to go to the doctor or anything, though. Like, me just typing this right now is embarrassing enough for me. At first, I thought my period came early, but when I went on Google

and looked up everything from early periods to bleeding after using sex toys, to be honest, I'm convinced I have cuts down there because of how much it hurts and the bleeding. I'm female, by the way, if you couldn't tell already. I've been breaking down because of this for so long. Go to the doctor. Go to the doctor. Like, shame is nothing compared to your health, right? Also, you don't have anything to be ashamed of.

People do way worse shit every day, all the time. Yes, it was silly for you not to use lube, but that's kind of it. You know what know let me use the sex toy wow people do them all the time there is no shame there i promise you that any doctor you're in your teens i think did it say how old you were it didn't i'm assuming young i'm assuming young but i promise you there's doctors who see teenagers on a daily basis of people putting absurd shit inside of them or,

or just like trying to jump over a barbed wire fence with their bros or like, you know, trying to jump over a car and a part, like people do dumb fucking shit all the time. I wish the dude get his testicles twisted while skateboarding. Exactly. Well,

did he just have a weird skateboarding accident? Or was he doing something like insane? Cause if it's just an accident that happened while you're skateboarding no shame yeah leave the poor guy alone but i mean a lot of people are are embarrassed the second someone has to touch their testicles i guess but like look i get it when i was a kid i was like man if i ever have to go to an std clinic i'm gonna be terrified and then i grew up a bit and like had more partners and was like oh i should because it's a responsible thing to do and then with the clinic and like have more partners and was like, oh, I should, because that's a responsible thing to do. And then with the clinic and like, it was totally fine. Like there was absolutely nothing wrong there.

Yeah. So your health is paramount, right? Nothing comes before that. A little bit of shame, like, fuck it. Again, go to a gynecologist. If you don't have a gynecologist yet, you should start to get one anyway, as you start to become sexually active.

They're built for this literally. And you need to make sure you're okay. That's the be all and end all. And hey, if you're worried about being embarrassed, think of it this way. You go to a doctor. No one finds it. Yeah. You die because you bleed out because you used a sex toy wrong.

Hey, let me tell you, everyone's going to know about that. That's going to be gossip for years. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And on a secondary note, be responsible with your sex toy usage. Use something that's appropriately sized. Go slowly. Stop if there's pain. Use appropriate and adequate lubrication. Use high quality sex toys. Use sex toys how they're meant to be used. And again, go start slow and move on from there. And I think that should be applied in every case.

So there's, I mean, there's also a couple, like if you're a virgin, you could have ruptured your hymen. Yep. Which is a possibility. Again, I don't know how long you've been bleeding for,

but if it's, if you've been bleeding for longer than a day, like if a day has passed and there is still blood. Yeah. That's something you need to get addressed immediately.

And it doesn't matter where, if I had a cut, you know, if I, if i got my hand at work and i was bleeding for over 24 hours even if it's like a little bit yeah here and there also if it's so much blood that you're not sure if it's your period or not that's not an insignificant amount of blood yeah unless you have the lightest flow yeah uh either way go to the doctor and and for everybody who hasn't yet had this problem, sex toys are safe if you do them properly. Right. They are built to be safe. And it should be the rule of like, no matter what, like, even if you're a dude just using your hand, if your penis starts to hurt while jerking off, give it a break for a bit.

The skin down there is very tender. Everything is it's not meant for the wear and tear of say our palms or our feet like that is some tough ass skin it's meant to resist things our penis our vaginas our vulvas all the the labia all that stuff isn't meant to really endure physical stress i mean i guess the vagina a little bit more the vagina especially is both a very tough and very delicate thing. And you just got to treat it right. But for real, throw shame. Shame's going in the package.

Yeah. It's going up to the sun, especially for things like this. Your health is so important. It's insane that people and I get it, but it is insane that people put this made up judgment before real physical peril. Yeah. I mean, I tend to put off going to the doctor for a lot of stuff. I do a lot of the, it'll get better. Yeah.

But the second there's anything, even the smallest hint of something wrong with my- My junk? Oh, yeah. My downstairs region, I am kicking in a doctor's door at his home and being like look at it look at it um so yes please like take the time to go to the doctor please it's it's so important to get used to especially like as a young person entering into their sexual years

to not wait get things looked at it's 100%. This is by also a deleted user. Me, 21 year old male, and my partner, 21 year old female, recently got sex toys and I have concerns. All right. So my girlfriend, 21, and me, 21, have been together for five years. I was her second partner. She has never really experienced much when it comes to intimacy. We've always had a good sex life. I've always made her climax and her same with me. For my previous relationships, I've developed insecurities about myself. My dick is slightly above average and I last a good amount of time, anywhere between 10-25 minutes. I always make sure I go down on her and make her finish before I finish. My problem is I overthink. She isn't very vocal, whereas I am, and I'm more worried about her not enjoying it, which then makes me

not enjoy it. I'm constantly reassured and I can clearly see she is, but I always have the feeling in my gut that I'm not good enough. Well, anyway, recently I moved five hours away, and I only see her every weekend or second weekend, so she decided to buy us a couple sex toy kit. She's never had a vibrator. I've tried using one on her in the past, but she doesn't like the feeling of plastic. I was down with it and excited for it, but it makes me insecure thinking about the fact that she doesn't really express it, moaning, etc., when we have sex, but with this vibrator, I know she will enjoy it way more, which makes me upset. When she opened it over FaceTime, she was laughing how mine is shit, but hers is really strong, and she was gasping and saying,

holy shit, I had the happiest and brightest expression on her face. From that point on, my insecurities over it started. I know she's an adult, and the vibrator is made to do things I can't. I understand that, but what scares me is if she enjoys it a lot more than me, or expressing her enjoying it a lot more, and she is an addictive girl, so it'll start to be brought over into the bedroom and then become a daily basis thing. I've tried talking to her about my insecurities and feelings and she just gets mad at me and won't listen or understand how I feel. She's never been okay with me touching myself or using a toy on myself, but as soon as she opened hers, she says it's all good to use mine whenever and got really defensive over hers. I understand

why she would be excited to have her first toy and everything, but how to deal with my emotions and how I'm feeling if she won't work with me? We have a perfectly good and healthy sex life, both climaxed together every time. It's just going to hurt me to see her and hear her enjoy it when I barely get that when we are together intimately. She laughs and gets mad whenever I try and talk to her about these things. I hope someone can help me get over my insecurities. Thank you.

I don't think this is a sex toy issue at this point in time time i think this is a partner who doesn't want to listen to anything like i think there's definitely more but that that's a huge issue if every time you try to have these conversations with her she gets mad or laughs then like it doesn't the sex toy sort of like this is just the current problem and because like what happens if it's any other issue or if you bring up any other insecurity or any other issue, is she going to get mad and not listen to you about that as well? Because the underlying problem here is her not wanting to address concerns regardless of what those concerns are. Yes. And I think that is a key issue. If not the whole issue, like the,

everything else could be spiraling from there. Uh, I appreciate that you tried to mention your insecurities and talk about them because we say to do that all the time and not a lot of people do. And it's possible had you got a supportive partner, they would have ended there. Right. Um,

so I think that is one thing you need to discuss is that like you need a partner who's supportive who listens to you who gives a shit about what you say especially when it's something you're upset about and that's paramount but secondly i think there are some things to unpack here one you seem to have a lot of anxiety over a lot of things to do with sex even though you keep saying you have a healthy sex life and you guys climax together you don't sound happy so i don't know if you can say you have a healthy sex life yeah healthy sex life doesn't just mean you guys both come yeah like that's great that's a key point to a good sex life but a healthy sex life like i i would argue that you have a really bad sex life because you tried to bring up something that was important to you and your partner didn't listen to you.

Yeah. That's a bad sex life. And you're miserable. I don't get the sense that he's miserable. I like, I understand the, like, it's a long ass post about just how insecure he is about everything.

Well, it seemed like his thing is like, he doesn't get enough vocal feedback. Yes. Right. That like, that seems to be the root of the cause of being like, when they're having sex,

he would prefer more vocal feedback because if that was happening, I don't think you'd have the insecurities of the toy because that seems to be where the root comes from is like, oh, she's louder when she uses a toy. Therefore, she doesn't enjoy it as much as when she's with me. Yeah. Now, I will say she uses the toy over FaceTime. So it could be she's putting on a performance for you because you're not together and she's trying to be sexy and like i think that's a hugely possible possibility because if she just kind of like held it to her and just like deadpan into the camera you're not getting that fun with that it's possible that because she's putting on this performance when she's not naturally doing that

that she isn't even enjoying herself that much you know i mean because that might take her out of it or just feels great which again again, fucking hell. Yeah. Like that's how you get a healthy sex life is if it makes your partner feel great and it's not hurting either one of you, why not? You know what I mean? That should be a boon. Should be a blessing. The problem here is that the solution to these,

his problem is to talk to her, be open and vulnerable and blah, blah, blah. He's done all the things that you and i would both tell him to do and when it comes down to it like i maybe take it one final step and be like hey when we have sex i would like a little more vocal reassurance or vocal interaction i would like to hear you enjoying more and then give her examples of whether it's whether you want to

hear more moaning uh whether you want to hear her saying more things like i love the way you fuck me blah blah blah give her examples of what you're looking for and if once again she's like haha or gets mad yeah and there's there's valid reasons as to why she's not doing it maybe she feels uncomfortable doing it maybe it feels fake and yeah and performative and the thing it's like just because you want her to be more vocal doesn't mean she has to be you know what i mean because again it's like, just because you want her to be more vocal doesn't mean she has to be, you know what I mean? Cause again,

it's like, if she just changes everything about the way she fucks to you, maybe she won't be happy. Yeah. But at the same time, if she understands your concerns and cares, I'm sure there are things she can do to let you know she's enjoying it. Even if it's just in the moment to reassure you like beforehand or while

you're having this conversation. And I'm, I'll bet you'd feel better if she're having this conversation and i'm i'll bet you'd feel better if she was like look i'm sorry i just don't really feel like being all that noisy but like believe me i fucking love it you know what i mean and that itself would would go a long way but i think as you're about to say if again she kind of tosses your your concerns aside or is mad again it's not a sex toy issue it's a her issue yeah and i don't think you should be with a partner that's so cavalier and uncaring about where you're coming from especially when

you're doing the hard thing and being vulnerable and being honest yeah which again is the best and you know most recommended from us thing to do yeah 100 like it's it's that's where it comes down to whereas because like okay great she agrees to not use the sex toy anymore because it makes you feel insecure. Great. Cool. And then what happens when the next problem comes up and she laughs at it or gets mad at you for bringing it up? Like it's, it's a lot of work to get sort of like the baseline of respect in a relationship.

Yeah. And it's not worth it in my opinion. So yeah, have a talk and like, don't project. Because I guess they're kind of projecting the problems onto the vibrator. Yeah. It's great that you can recognize your insecurities and move to get over them. But unfortunately, you're not being allowed to get over this because you don't have a partner willing to cooperate.

So try to get in a healthier space. And if not, find someone who will. The next question comes from Agent Lawnchair. Thanks for sending it in. They ask, I've been using a vibrator a bunch during the pandemic, and I have now sort of gotten over it. Is there something I can do to change up my vibrator usage to make it as exciting as it was before I drove it into the ground during all of the lockdowns. I think I'll have something that might help.

Oh, you've come to the right place, Lawnchair. Yeah. Well, let me direct you over to lovehoney.co forward slash fbuddies. Because have you heard of the Womanizer Premium 2? I was going to say there's a good chance you haven't. But there's actually a very good chance that you have because it is one of the most like recommended sex toys from word of mouth and friends because of it's it's a whole different sex toy game and it is the industry leader in suction technology air suction toys like change sex toys forever like it was kind of a new development and this is the flagship of that

technology and also the world's worst kept secret if you know you know and it looks hey if i have if i had a clit i'd do it and that's the whole point of this is this toy is it is a a clitoral stimulation vibrator suction toy it's very handy one especially if you live with people or roommates or something because this bad boy doesn't start until it makes contact with your skin and then stops the second you do. So if you drop it in the throes of passion and really enjoying this bad boy, it's not going to hit the ground and wake everyone up with that. It literally only works when it's on you. It also has smart silence technology. So it's going to be quiet even when it's running.

Yeah. On top of that, it is waterproof. So you can just meld it into your bath time or shower routine. Exactly. And with the quietness, no one's going to know. Okay. But now to the point of the question, which is spicing things up, making everything really exciting. There's this really cool like feature.

It's called like a different lover every night because you have a variety of settings, sensations and intensities that you could just like match it to whatever fantasy or whatever you're watching or whatever you're into at that point. On top of that, there's an autopilot function. So you could just set it and forget it. I mean, that's the thing. It's like with a vibrator, there's usually different settings. You usually have different intensities or whatever. Well, with the autopilot on the Womanizer Premium 2, you actually get to be surprised because it just kind of does its own thing. It rotates through the different things.

So you have absolutely no idea what you're going to get next. So if you are kind of tired of your vibrator experience, this is the solution, in my opinion like if you need something that's going to break out the monotony of what you've been doing for the past two years as we all got locked down and and had to just masturbate forever um the womanizer premium too i think is is the solution is it's the the beacon of light at the end of the tunnel here yeah waiting for you waiting to to suck gently or not so gently yeah what i love is like last week we talked about the nova 2 and how adding it to the app gives you kind of like that like connectivity and like surprise of a partner like taking the reins this is kind of like that if you don't have a partner or don't want to use

it with a partner because again it has that autopilot it'll kind of do its own thing so you can be surprised and you can kind of make it fresh and i think that's cool. Absolutely. It's something that if I'm honestly kind of bummed, I don't have a clit. Regularly. And hey, let me tell you, clitoral suction is one of my secret techniques during oral sex. So the fact that there's now a toy that can simulate that,

I feel like might be putting me out of business. But speaking of business, head on over to lovehoney.co slash fbuddies, that is lovehoney.co slash f-b-u-d-d-i-e-s and check out everything they've got.

Check out the WeVibe Nova 2. Check out the Womanizer Premium 2. A lot of 2s, a lot of sequels. And use our code at checkout, BuckBuddies. It is a limited time code, so this won't last forever. So make sure. Get on it. If you're like thinking, now is the time.

That's the thing. A lot of people think about things like, ah, it's a great idea. And then they don't do it. Yeah. And then they're like, ah, the code doesn't work anymore. So if, I mean, I was going to say do it right now, but you might not be in the right place to hit up a sex toy site. You don't want to look back and be like, oh man, I missed out. Yeah, because 20% is a chunk of change.

That's a solid, that's one fifth of the price of this map. Whoa, that's crazy. Use our limited time promo code, fuckbuddies20. That's F-U-C-K-B-U-D-d-d-i-e-s 20 all capitals all capitals at checkout and get yourself a sweet deal yeah and something fun for yourself and if you want to tell us how it goes tell us if you don't it can be your little sexy secret little little sexy secret yeah again discreet shipping we talked about that last week. So you're in good hands. Incredible customer service. World-renowned sex toy shop.

Like, you couldn't be at a better place right now. Yeah, it's like going to... A Michelin star restaurant. Or like that place in Harry Potter with the wands. Oh, Ollivanders, yeah. Right? Like, you're going there, and then that dude is also like, actually, you're not going to pay full price.

Yeah. He's like, I've gotten you a dragon horn, phoenix feather. Perfect. It fits in your hand amazingly. You get that tingle when you grab it. But then he's like, hey, don't worry. Hey, you know, 20%? I'm not going to offer you.

No problem. This is Zookzer. C-Z-U-C-Z-E-R. Zookzer? Zookzer. Zook sir zook sir uh hi all oh sorry they say if the question is first sex toy for a vanilla couple question mark hi all not sure if the best place but smiley face my wife's 35 birthday is coming and besides a regular present i'm thinking about adding a sex toy smile we are together for 12 years and married for five years we have an almost four-year-old son. Our sex is good, but rather vanilla.

Since our son came into the picture, the driver's specialty on her side dropped. Is that a wild auto correct? Okay. I don't want to push too hard. Yeah. So I assume it's like her sex drive dropped. I don't want to push too hard, but just thought it might be a good idea to give it a try. I'm not sure what I can get.

Rather for her pleasure than mine. I mean, great. I don't think this is the thing that you buy solo. Yes. I think this is something that, look, if you really want this to be a surprise, I don't think there's any harm. A small little pocket vibrator that you can bust out during sex and use on her while you're having sex or give it to her and tell her to use on herself during sex i think that's a pretty safe bet for a vanilla couple as you described by yourself but i think it'd be a lot more fun to be like hey here's the cool gifts i got you but

there's one other thing that i would like to get you and we're gonna head on over to lovehoney.ca my friends dan and niall have a great deal for us great deal and this is the other thing you don't really have to worry about the price because you already you're already getting a discount on it and let's be fair they're pretty reasonable as well i did look and i was kind of surprised i like the top end stuff is still you know this is the thing when i when i looked at the nova 2 i was considering like the the app and everything i thought it would be twice as much i thought it was gonna be way more expensive so already you know you're you're not gonna be breaking the bank but again we have a code fuck buddies 20 limited time but yeah sit down with them sit down with your partner and be like what which one of these entices you because maybe they might just be like oh i really don't

like toys toys make me uncomfortable and then you can save yourself the trouble but or maybe they'll be like just let's get some lube and lingerie yeah or maybe they really want a dildo instead of a vibrator or vice versa maybe they want something that while you're minding the kid you can have a sneaky little app and she's nova 2ing upstairs yep there's there's a lot of options out there and i think letting her be the master of her own destiny yeah and that's fun that's like a sexy little like because you're both going to be like titillated by the possibilities as you look at them all and maybe that's the thing you need to kind of reignite a little bit of the spark um and on top of that you know you're not going wrong because they're choosing yeah they

handpicked it and not to like you know press down on gender roles or anything but i think there is something sexy about someone being like pick something i'm gonna get it for you right um i think there's something sexy and like empowering and in sort of you know if someone if their love language is getting gifts receiving gifts i mean that's to be like frolic in this playground pick anything you want i'm gonna buy it for you yeah that's a for me that would do it for me yeah and i think it would do it for a lot of people for sure i think it's him okay and again like dane said something really great earlier like a basic sex toy you can't really go wrong with but sex toys once you kind of depart from that i

think the more input you have as the person going to use it, the better, because like you can customize so many different ways. Like you can get mad stuff on there. It's great. Yeah. So having that like freedom and that like scope and like, I've already talked to people who are so excited when they pop up the website and they're like, damn, that's a lot. So I think that could be fun. Yeah.

And then you've got, again, you're kind of like two parting the present because part of the present is the excitement. And like you guys looking together, the other part, and maybe three parting. Cause then you got the like excitement as you wait for your discreet little box that your four year old son won't know what's in it.

No clue. And then you get the fun of it arriving wild. If you did though, it would be, it would be, that's how you find out he has x-ray vision. Yeah. You've got a super human child,

a little super baby. Yeah. Uh, so I think that's the way to do it. Speaking of babies, can we, can we talk about the baby? I think we can talk about the baby.

Yeah. So you guys remember potato baby? Well, you done did it. You done gone and done it. So you might, I don't know if you noticed me and dane have been in the closet together for the first time in like two years yeah i'm not sure if it's it's going to

be noticeable if you know what if you know tell us like is the energy different is can you can you feel us matching eyes you hear the sweat yeah we're hopping we're warm we're in the same room for the first time in what It must be over two years. I mean, like two and a half years. 2020 around March is probably when we stopped doing it for safety. So we're back in. And the only reason we're back together is Potato Baby. Potato Baby.

Because we made a promise. We said that if you guys joined the Patreon, we would make a Potato Baby. Make Potato Baby. And someone came in clutch almost immediately. And we've crafted this starchy horror beautiful baby this beautiful son of mine that i love dearly and we're gonna we're gonna throw those pictures and maybe even some videos up on the patreon for all you guys to enjoy that's right so if you want to see our uh starchy horror potato baby our sweet sweet boy our son jac Jacob our sweet son Jacob

I think we should call him Spud but we'll talk about that later well his name like Spud might be on his birth cert but his real name is Jacob right his name his name is Spud no it's Jacob we use the nickname Jacob yes so if you would like to if you would like to see him please head on

over to our Patreon you can get there with fbuddiespodcast.com uh click the patreon link or patreon.com slash fbuddies uh we will have it open to any tier any tier yeah you deserve it any any tier it does not matter if you join the patreon you will get to see potato baby and let me say let me tell you we went all out. I will tell you right now, Potato Baby is clothed. Yeah, I got real baby clothes. It has a functioning spine. It does have a pretty accurate bone structure.

Yeah. Pretty accurate. Got a face. It's got a face. It does have a face. Has a cute little hat. Cute little hat. It has a weirdly good potato hand.

One. One. And an angry potato fist. Yeah. cute little hat. Cute little hat. Uh, it has a weirdly good potato hand one, one and an angry potato fist. Yeah. There's, there's a lot going on there and it's not something that you want to miss. It's maybe the most powerful potato construct ever made. I don't know. Like it's,

I had ideas and it surpassed each and every one of those ideas. I knew it was going to the second day and constructed a potato spine and to my horror fastened it to some potato hips. Yeah. Now came at me with some real loosey goosey energy in a good way or bad way. Tell me under the bus right now. I'm just saying you just wanted to fill a onesie full of potatoes. That was the base. That was going to be the base. I need my son.

What's that going to be? Just our son. Our son was not just going to be a base. I need... My son was not going to be just a... Our son. Our son was not just going to be a onesie full of potatoes. That was the base. Okay, so yeah. Go over and check it out. This is... On a life, me captain. Today I fucked up by using a sex toy in my hand.

This isn't really a question, but it's something I want to talk about. Okay. We touched on it briefly earlier. This happened this morning. My boyfriend and I were enjoying a little early morning intimacy question but it's something i want to talk about okay we touched on it briefly earlier this happened this morning my boyfriend and i were enjoying a little early morning intimacy and decided to incorporate a new toy one of those high-powered magic wands you know the ones i wanted to see if it felt good on his boys but i didn't want to hurt him so i cupped his little buddies in with my hand and held the massager on the back of my hand so he felt the residual vibrations he said it felt

amazing and a bit later we were both very happy campers however i noticed my hand is now swollen as shit and super itchy where i held the massager to it and my middle finger is super red and puffy it's 40 minutes later my poor hand is still a reminder of my epic fail damn who would have known who would have thought who would have thought i was like that was smart like they they took kind of what we said earlier about being safe. And we're like, yeah, if I just raw dog, these guys, this guy's beans, it's going to be terrible. Yeah. You know, I knew, Hey, it would be, it would have been a fucking disaster.

Yeah. But it brings me to my point. And cause something we kind of touched on with the, the, the bleeding earlier there. Look again, I'm not here to reinforce gender stereotypes but as a man i don't read a whole lot of instructions i kind of kind of just wing it i just kind of figure it out on my own there are two things that i think you should follow the destruction the instructions and read the directions for and that's medicine and sex toys i think like any kind of cleaning supply that could be poisonous as well you know it's a big shrug for

me okay all right that's fine yeah if i accidentally make mustard gas in my bathroom i don't lose you i don't want to raise our son alone i know i need to be more i need to be safer more yeah now that you're dead you need to get a lot more responsible um so the point i wanted to bring raise it bring this question in was don't use sex toys for things that they're not meant for yeah and a lot of these things aren't meant for male genitalia like or or at least high power things shouldn't be used on something as sensitive and easily bruised and damaged as testicles yeah if it did that to the back of your hand which like you can backhand someone like that

that's a function of your hand for example right it's not a function of your balls yeah if this wrecked an implement that can casually and disrespectfully wallop someone across the face and it's quite powerful it's quite powerful yeah a strong part of our body i i like i climb i wet the back of my hand off things all the time. And like, it lifts heavy shit. Yeah. You know, whereas balls, they do none of those things. Balls are literally just there like cowering for their life.

Oh yeah. The only reason they're outside of the body is because they can't even be inside. Cause it's too hot. Like, that's the thing. That's how delicate they are. They,

where they want to be. They can't be, you know, we like our, we're like the Death Star. Our vent is right there. It's right there. Everyone knows it's there, too.

You have the plans, so don't destroy it with a vibrator. There are specific ball stuff on the website. You can get cock rings that have vibrators. You can get built-in prostate dildo things with dual cock rings. I saw that on the website. It was crazy. It's crazy. So the whole thing I wanted to be is like sex toys can be a lot of fun.

Yeah. But when you. Arguably, they're only like their entire purpose is to be a lot of fun. Well, there are some sex toys that. But they are. But that's fun. That is fun for who they are. Yeah, exactly.

I was going to say there are some sex toys I've seen that don't look like a whole lot of fun. But for someone. That's for you. Yeah, that's the thing. Not every sex toy for every person, but for every sex toy a purpose. And for every purpose, do only that. Yeah. So make sure what you're doing with the sex toy is what it's meant to be doing or is meant to be done with.

Yeah, yeah. Because we're tender people. Even, even our strong, strong hands can get real fucked up with a, a big, powerful vibrator boy. Um,

so be careful with them, have fun, but I encourage creativity in the bedroom, but not with machines. Maybe even then it's just like best practices, you know what I mean? Be as, be as,

as careful as possible, please. And go out there and have the most amount of fun. And thank you, love, honey, because this is great. Yeah. Questionary tale also. Apparently, vibrators will destroy the back of your hand. We'll just fuck your hand right up. So don't do it.

Yeah. Don't do it. Always read the instructions. I'm sure there's something in the instructions that is like. Yeah. Only use it. Yeah. You know, here and

start low before moving up. Yeah, probably. I almost guarantee you there's something that's like, don't use straight on bones. That's probably not not a great thing. Either type. Yeah, that's going to do us for this week, friends. Thank you very much for listening. It means the world to us. As

we always say, life is crazy. And the fact that you take an hour out of your time every week to listen to us and hang out with us means the world to us as we always say uh life is crazy and the fact that you take an hour out of your time every week to listen to us and hang out with us uh means the world to us if you have a question for us head on over to fbuddiespodcast.com click the contact form fill it out give yourself an agent name we'll keep you completely anonymous and we'll answer it as soon as we can if you want to see our sweet sweet potato child head on over to fbuddiespodcast.com click the Patreon link or patreon.com slash fbuddies and pledge to any tier

and you will see our sweet sweet child in all of his glory so one more time we just wanted to thank Love Honey for sponsoring us this episode you guys have been fun partners we've loved working with you and you guys provide an excellent service to

us and our listeners. So once again, head on over to lovehoney.co slash fbuddies use our limited time code fuckbuddies20 and get yourself something fun. Now, it is limited and that's all capitals. fuckbuddies20.

Caps log on. Let's go. Go do it. Thank you Josh Eagles and the Harvest Cities for their paper stars. Wow. A lot of S's in there. Thank you, Josh Eagle and the Harvest Cities for their song paper stars. Bad sex or anything? Now, this will have slight spoilers for Buzz Lightyear. Oh, shit.

Is that okay? I mean, yeah, I guess. I mean, it's okay for me, but for anyone who's really horny to see Buzz Lightyear. Yeah, if you don't want any spoilers, I don't think it's anything major. Just a heads up, because this comes from Christians Against Buzz Lightyear. Rant time. What does sexuality have to be in children's movies? Aiden and I watched Lightyear tonight.

The beginning, first five minutes of the movie, was mainly about Buzz and his partner Hawthorne, female. Buzz is in space four years, and when he returns, Hawthorne is wearing a ring. He asks Hawthorne about her girlfriend. He leaves again and comes back, and now Hawthorne is pregnant. Next few scenes are of Hawthorne, her wife, a baby. Then a picture of the couple and their son's graduation. Next, a 40th anniversary party for Hawthorne and her wife. Hawthorne's granddaughter was a main character, but I don't understand the need to include sexuality of any kind

in a movie marketed to children. I know right now there's a big push to expose children to homosexuality, drag queens, transgenderism, identity confusion, and a gigantic list of other things. What happened to kids getting to be innocent? Why isn't that acceptable and in some places mandated that children be immersed into the LGBTQ... society? My girls will not see the movie. Some places mandated that children be immersed into the LGBTQ dot, dot, dot,

dot, dot, dot society. My girls will not see the movie. Luckily, Aiden is young and distracted and didn't understand what was going on. It's time to stop being quiet while the world tries to corrupt our children.

Peter five, eight, be sober minded, be watchful. Your adversary, the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. The two people, or was that, Oh, he was, he was quoting the good book i mean this is the thing that always makes me laugh

when people are like kids are too young to understand sexuality now go and play house you're the mother you're the father these are your children it's like hey my dude i hate to break it to you but heterosexuality is sexuality yeah i don't know if you've noticed that there are it's a compound word heterosexuality homosexuality yeah like i don't know i think that is actually beyond them but on top of that it's like i'm reading this question being like damn what happened in buzz lightyear and it's like is she got married not a kid if it was a straight couple this dude wouldn't give a fuck i mean this thing is like so don't pretend it's sexuality you're upset about you're just a homophobe yeah you just don't like that it was too because like yes as you said like i'm sure this person didn't lose their fucking mind at the beginning of up well we all did but

in a different way i mean yes we were what a goddamn train wreck that is but like yeah i'm sure he wasn't like what they had a child a white man and a woman are trying to have a kin and they got married and they fell like no you're fine with that i'm sure i'm sure that was a sweet touching moment that you loved so don't try to pretend this is about anything other than you being a fucking ignorant piece of shit. Yeah. And don't be like this. But also, I will say, there's tens of thousands of comments. It's just people lacerating this. I would say poor man, but he deserves it.

Yeah, absolutely. That's been our second Sex Toypalooza. To infinity and beyond. My name is Dane Miller. And I'm Niles Bain. We've been your fuck buddies.