F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 216 - Nutsgiving

Episode Date: November 21, 2022

While you cautiously store your nuts for a later date, why not consider giving away nuts for other people?  Topics include No Nut November, hurting for a squirting, seeking that post nut clarity, Dain's optimistic prediction, just date your friends with benefits.

I put my trust in you, and I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. I put my trust in you, and I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. Hello friends, my name is Dave Miller. And I am Niall Spain. And we're Fuck Buddies. We are award-winning sex and dating advice podcasts where we take your sticky, sexy situations and turn them into sexy, sticky situations.

Simply put, we're a podcast that finds questions about sex and dating either online or from our wonderful listeners. And we answer them right here. Yeah, so we do. Hold on. I just got a call. Hi, Elon? Oh, okay. So it turns out we can't say we're an award-winning podcast

unless we put parody right before it because we are... Hold on. Yeah, we're allowed to say we're the two hosts that form the podcast, but we can't claim we are a podcast without saying that. Oh, I see. Because we aren't podcasts. Exactly.

We are. Hold on. Yeah, we're just two people, he says. He did shut us down, though. He blocked us off Twitter. It's crazy that Elon Musk spent $87 trillion to buy podcasts. Yeah, yeah. There's nothing this man won't do.

It's funny. He was like, guys, I bought you, so now give me your profits. And we were like, Elon, do you not know podcasts? We don't make money. Elon, we're so sorry. Who sold you these? He looked at Joe Rogan's podcast and was just like, damn, is this how much money podcasts are making? Mm-hmm.

He did his usual thing and was very intelligent and smart about things and didn't fuck up and waste a bunch of money at all. Yeah. Oh, wait. Oh, he's crying. Sorry. Sorry, Elon. I forgot you were still on the line. A lot of people don't know this, but Elon Musk is like a silent third party on every podcast that we do.

Every episode, Elon Musk has been here. He just doesn't say anything. Yeah, he doesn't like any of our podcasts also. I don't know why he's still here anyway that was my twitter joke so it was a very good twitter joke and i'm proud of you thank you i tried should done last week we were too we're riding too high i was drunk with power it's true much like starlink our brand new sponsor for the uh you ready for a question yeah this is lol not jadez just jizz with a d in the middle i don't know uh my female 20 year old boyfriend male 22 year old says he won't have

sex with me for the entire month of november he said it's a personal thing he's been doing since high school no nuts for the month of november he refuses to go into detail i just find it extremely weird is this a red flag or something I should worry about? It's giving me weird vibes. I mean, how have you not heard about No Nut November? I know, it's the newest national holiday, the most popular one too. I don't know.

Well, I don't know if it's the most popular. I never understood No Nut November. I would understand if it was people cutting out like porn and jerking off but i don't want to give up sex for a month like i don't want to make generalizations that are maybe mean but i feel like most people committing to no nut november are yes not jerking off but they have no risk of missing out on the other stuff yes yeah i don't know like i don't know the point

i don't know if it's just to challenge yourself if if it's just so at the end, you just have huge loads or I don't know, but I don't get it. I nor do I want to participate in it. I think it was like, obviously, it's a big meme, right? Like it is. It's a meme thing. I think it also stemmed from like the death grip joke of like people getting so desensitized to jerking off that they want to like give themselves a break so that when they go back to jerking off it's it's primo i guess

i don't know but like hey if you if you think that jerking off is a problem and you want to give yourself a month of a break well why not you know Sure. I guess. Like, I don't mind. What you do with yourself is your own thing. Now, is it a red flag? It depends on how weird they are about it. Like, if they, like, they can still go down on you. They can still finger you. So, like, to ignore your partner's sexual needs because you're doing a thing i think could be problematic but at the same time

you're also you also get to decide what you want to do with your body and consent is a thing like i think there needs to be a give and take in a relationship and i think if you do want to commit to no not november i don't think it's fair to sort of like quote unquote out of the yeah take it out on your partner and be like well you're also not going to have any sexual pleasure for a month. Yeah, I feel like that is a valuable conversation to have. You're like, cool, just because you're doing this thing doesn't mean, you know, I want to abstain. But the thing is, they probably don't want to get into anything because that's just going to make them more horny. Unless that just adds difficulty, in which case, maybe phrase it that way.

Be like, do you want to do it or do you want to do it on hard mode? Yeah, be like, oh, I didn't realize you were on baby mode i didn't realize you're playing the tutorial yeah maybe women need to co-op no not november and have like an even less nuttier november where it's like you don't not but you spend your entire month making women nut because one harder for you presumably because that's hot and two we start to finally close the orgasm gap nutsgiving nutsgiving also about the time of thanksgiving right um i think it's weird that he won't go into any detail about it with you i think that might be a red flag because it's like communication is key and it is weird to just be like i'm doing this thing fuck you i think it's very reasonable to ask for more details.

And I think it's pretty acceptable to get them. Get them. Get them. Yeah. Yes. I think there's no harm in having the conversation and being like, hello, I support you in your quest to not nut. But I would like you to support me in my quest to nut. And also my quest to understand why it is you don't want a nut for a

month yeah i also and again i could be wrong here i feel like the no nut people are kind of is it not a toxic community uh the yes i think the well i think it's i think it's split i like i said i think that like okay what are they called? They're not called no nutters. But what are they? What are they called? They're called like. I don't know. They have name.

Yeah. There's like no boys. It's like no fap. Yeah. Yes. Right. Like, I think there is a isn't no fap like no nut existence. It's no masturbating.

Yeah. Oh, true. Yes. Right. Like it's that. And like, i know that that community is kind of split i think it's kind of like seduction in the sense that like some people are like this is the way to transcend and become a man and make women want you and like this is how you assert your like that kind of shit and then i think there are people who are genuinely like no i've i was a i was addicted to porn and I was starting to be so desensitized to sexual pleasure that it was becoming a detriment to both me and any sexual partner I have. So I think there is like a split community of people doing it for their own health and their own well-being.

And then there are the people who are doing it because they think that like this is how you reach the next tier of masculinity. I don't know. I don't think we can talk one way or another about whether it's super toxic just as a whole monolith. But I think like if this is the only time you've seen something he's done be weird and rear its head, you're probably fine. As Dane said, have a conversation about your nutting needs.

And I think it's weird if he doesn't discuss it with you, if you try to. Other than that, like it's just a weird thing this dude wants to do, I guess. And that's fine. Yeah. And pitch the idea of nutsgiving. Nutsgiving.

This is the time. If you're not focusing on your sexual needs, fantastic. I'm going to take all that energy, all that sexual energy, and I'm going to funnel it right into my Genitals You got one for me? Yeah, you know what, let's talk about this This is kind of on the same Kind of like the opposite side of things

Extra nut November? Nothing but nut November? Only nut November? This is from Ted's Cupcake November, never nut nothing Tips on squirting? I'm desperate. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years now.

We had a sexual awakening not too long ago from very boring vanilla sex. We both discovered that squirting was a huge turn on for both of us. And now we want to give it a try. That's it. It's all they're giving us. We talked about squirting before and how like it can be super like negative if a guy is like you have to squirt why can't i make you squirt etc but it seems like it seems like this is a quest they're on together and i i appreciate that now i think everyone can squirt like possibly

oh i think like okay you probably it's like whiskey every woman is a squirter but every squirter isn't a woman sure i don't know i don't know that that's how that works i i don't want to talk in in generalities because i feel like i don't want to say it's like oh not every woman can squirt although that is probably true maybe every woman has the capability to squirt but i feel like it's one of those things where like i don't know if you could force it. I think what you have to do is really delve into sex and, and mainly on the woman's side. It's like, if you have that,

that need that, that feel like you're about to pee when you're approaching orgasm, just to learn to let that, that go, you've got the need for P for P. So that's, that's a, an interesting thing you brought up and what I want to talk about.

Because I talked to a few people who I know that are squirters. And in order to get an insight on this, because I squirt not the way that you want me to or the way you're trying to. You as Dane? Men squirt differently. So I don't know how to squirt the way that're trying to i mean you as dane me men squirt differently so i don't know how to squirt the way that ladies squirt is what i'm trying to um in the weirdest alien way can i point out that so far we have killed it by saying i would say nervously almost nothing so far. So one of the big tips that almost everyone that I talked to said was pee beforehand

so that you know bladder empty. So that psychologically when that urge, because a lot of people say that squirting does feel like you're about to pee. It's a very similar sensation. And psychologically, if you have already peed you're like okay cool it's not pee this is squirt okay see because that's what

in my mind was one of the big hurdles was to be able to take that feeling of needing to pee and run with it i didn't know necessarily how to but that is a good way to do it yeah i i thought that was a very good and like this isn't something you have to do every time i think this is just sort of like that first as you called it a hurdle of being like oh there's a mental block because you know we we train ourselves at a very young age to not pee especially not like during sex and with other people and on people um so all these things are like you know you're going to break down some mental barriers there are um some other things that i find are pretty useful um i've been with women who can squirt strictly through clitoral stimulation

i've been with women who can only squirt from fairly rigorous and intense like fingering like internal stimulation yeah the first i would say few times that anyone i've been with had squirted was from very rigorous like internal fingering yeah um but the times that have happened since and i think this would be my advice are when they when people are like just coming so hard or like incredibly aroused and often it is unless it's someone who just is like a standard squirter the people who've squirted a bit surprised by it were like the third or fourth orgasm so for me it would be like you you gotta just kind of like really ramp up the amount of orgasms and just the sheer kind of like arousal because i feel like that like it's almost like

putting more and more pressure and then squirt and then squirt i was gonna say boom but squirt squirt um so yeah i've also been with people who can just come and squirt like pretty much non-stop and just like you, from just just penetration as well. Like nothing, no added toys or techniques or anything. It's just like just through sex. They're just squirting and God love them. The thing that I found is is the best way or the most consistent way that i've accomplished this is positioning i found the best way to do it is if you are over top of them with your arm sort of like straight down so that

you can your it's the come hither motion that we talk about a lot when fingering someone but also a a lifting so not only are you doing a a come um come here hither but you're also sort of like your whole arm almost yes so think of if they're lying down on the bed you're kneeling i find the best way to do it is kneeling on the side of them so that your arm can be straight it's not cranked or turned or whatever and you're kind of arms straight fingers in and you're able to have full range of motion with your arm and you're essentially like doing shrugs yeah at the same time as the one-handed shrug that's like and it can be pretty intense and also pretty hard to do as a guy like it really puts a lot of strain on your arm yeah and especially it's it's one of those mental things where it's like

the second you start with the second they're about to come is like the second. That's when you realize just how fucking tired you are. You're just like, Oh God. So it's one of those things where it's like, you're dear. Yeah.

You kind of just have to like buckle in. And also like this, it's communication here. If you're, if you're both trying to figure it out, there needs to be like a constant line of communication of faster too hard slower you know maybe not more more come hither less up and down or less like lifting yeah and and it just needs to be like you guys fine-tuning

it until you figure it out and then like i feel like it's one of those things where once you break that barrier you've kind of solved the mystery and you'll know how to do it i like it's one of those things where once you break that barrier, you've kind of solved the mystery and you'll know how to do it. I think it's one of those things. I also feel like much like anything, especially sex related, the more I think it might be hard to get to if that's your only goal, because I feel like it's a lot of pressure on both sides of the table. Yeah. So maybe like, look, I love that you guys are working towards something together, but maybe don't just be like, this is the thing we're working for. Maybe have a bunch of stuff and realize that this might not happen immediately, might not happen easily. And maybe it'll happen along the way, but if it's the only thing you're focusing on, I worry that you won't enjoy

it as much and you won't get there. Also, as to what you were saying with the arm positioning, everything, I completely agree. I've also found a lot of success doing that standing up. So like if they're pressed up against the wall, I feel like maybe it's the like position of the legs or whatever. But like it's worked for me pretty well that way. Now be careful what you're standing over because I've had that issue. That's the thing is you if you've never squirted before you don't know what's gonna happen like i've been with women who are like pew like water gun like dollar store water gun and then i've had women who have been like a fucking faucet right so it's like you you've really gotta clear the area maybe put a couple

towels down have towels handy but make sure you're not standing over wires or like an extent like like you know power bars or like plugs or anything i once did it over like it was like i was about to leave someone's house and then we got frisky right before the door and then one thing led to another and it was only after that I realized, like, I pressed her right up against the wall over a bunch of shoes. And she did not live by herself. So there were a lot of people's shoes. And I was like, that's bad. That's bad.

Yes. So be conscious. And, like, also, you don't know what kind of force is going to be coming out. Like, again, I've had women who have, you could, you know, small dribbles. I've also had women who have, like,, you know, small dribbles. I've also had women who have like rocketed like fire hose style. Yeah. So you don't know what you're going to get and you need, you need to have a little bit of like cleanup prep ready to go. I've usually been on the lower end of the force, but one person just like destroyed a bathroom we were fucking in like almost flooded

it like it was insane yeah and like the amount of towels we had to put down was just incredible so just be aware because you don't know that's what i'm saying is you know have a little bit of foresight if you've got if you're doing it on your bed and you have one of those beds that you have like stuff stored under it like cardboard boxes or something maybe maybe push them a little further back or put a couple towels down as like a dam because it can get wild and and if you haven't squirted before you don't know how wild it can get get your very nice weighted blanket you don't know how to wash off the bed. That's another thing. If you are, if this is something

that you're going to want to do more and more, consider getting a waterproof mattress protector. Because, let me tell you, squirters can do some real damage to your bedding. There's no surefire way. It's not like you can say step one, step two, step three. I think what we've said really kind of encompasses the whole thing.

And it's like you as the woman in this thing are going to know the most about your body, right? So try very much to give your partner guidance and to like, you know, let them try out new stuff and whatever. But like, don't just be like, this is your job now. It's your body. You know what's going on. You know what you feel. And like, go read. I'm sure there are articles out there about squirting and what to feel. Uh, I literally just looked one up and it said that the, the squirting and like, when you feel that need to pee, what you're engaging is less the muscles you use to pee, but more of the muscles you need to like push a dick out of you or to like pop out like a diva cup or something. That's already a good practical tip from a vagina owner that I cannot give you.

Yeah, I that is actually something I want to talk about is like, yes, the best way to do this, but also to be as now said, look up articles about or how to's from women who are squirters. And it's funny, the one of the things i was also going to mention is there is like a you you could feel it there is a push and a flexing inside the vagina right when a woman's about to squirt that if you're having sex it almost feels like you're going to be pushed like you're oh yeah you have to fight yeah so i'd also like communicate about that if if you need like have have a signal or like some sort of sign that like you need to sort of like get out for a little bit in case you know if you are particularly big and they are particularly small it might cause a

little bit more distress or pain and cheapen the the effect if it hurts to remain inside so sometimes you just kind of to like listen to the to each other's bodies and if you're getting pushed out allow yourself to be pushed out for a bit and and let the the tap run before jumping back in yeah good luck and uh hopefully it works out hopefully it squirts out this is faith in strangers 94 is it wise to rub one out before deciding whether you're actually interested in meeting up with someone? This is the advice a friend gave me. But as far as I can tell, if guys did this, 90% of meetups would never go ahead. Because they just end up watching TV, hanging out with a friend, or rolling over and getting an early night.

And that's because this girl I'm talking to, I absolutely couldn't see myself meeting up with more than once. And she's frankly as dumb as a doorknob and very skanky. But my God, she's a buxom, bodacious, beddable broad if I've ever seen one. And life is short. So I'm thinking about just pulling the pin and going for it. Though I don't really know if I want her staying at my place. Anyway, what's your take? This took such a hard turn into...

I know. Like, I can't remember the name, but the guy who used to do the porn reviews, like strong. It does sound very much like a porn reviewer, actually. Yeah. She's a books and bodacious, beddable broad.

And I can't even remember any of the other stuff you've said because I burn it out of my mind immediately after lest I lose my soul i think the the question like the i don't even want to answer the question i just want to talk to this guy and be like hey don't treat women like this yeah that's don't talk about women like this like it doesn't matter like if you don't if you think someone is dumb as hell like i don't know i don't i'm not of the mind of being like don't have sex with someone you don't like no matter how buxom beddable broadie they are that's the thing it's like i

like look we don't have to want to marry someone to fuck them no like i want to like them you shouldn't think of them as lesser oh for sure there's no one i've slept with i don't like yeah because i wouldn't do that you know so it've slept with i don't like yeah because i wouldn't do that you know so it's like if you don't like this person and she's just hot it's like this sucks for her and for you and it's like you don't even know if you're gonna have sex with them because presumably you're gonna go out meet up with them hang out for a bit etc and it's like do you want to do that if you know you could just have a wank and have as good a night, then just have a fucking wank. And also be better at like the way you think about

women. Yeah. I mean, like that's like, okay, we'll talk about the question really quick. Do I think, I think it's not a bad idea if you're going to make a bad decision, right? If you are about to, you know, text your ex or text someone that, as we've said, like you might not really be super into, but are so horny that like, quote unquote, they'll do. I think, yes, jerk off, do that because you're about to make a bad mistake or you're about to embarrass yourself or you're about to treat someone poorly. So jerk off. Deal with that. I think that is. Look, there's been a bunch of times where I've been very horny and I've made commitments or plans with someone despite the fact that I know I'm going to be busy or I don't know if I'll even want to do it come the day but like i'll make plans to see someone like the next day and then once i've jerked off i'm like fuck i don't want to do that

so yeah i like there is a little bit of truth to it but of course you make bad decisions it's like if you go shopping when you're fucking hungry and you're just buying everything right like you know eat before you go shopping and then you won't overload your groceries but on the flip side it's like if the only way you can tell if your interest in someone is having a wank, you need to fucking get your head in order. Right. Because at that point in time, you are treating women solely as like dick receptacles. Also, it's just like, what are you doing with your brain? Yes. There are certain situations where, you know, maybe you're making a bad decision or like blah, blah, blah. But like if this is literally the only metric you have for deciding, then you need to get your shit in order. Secondly, if you have if you're one of the people that has like a longer refractory period, maybe you shouldn't rub one out.

Because what if you rub one out, decide you do want to meet up with someone, go out with them, things go well. But because you just rub one out before you left, you're not really're not really down to fuck yeah i mean some people don't have that issue i don't usually it's great but like some people do so if that's kind of a risk for you figure it out yourself and maybe don't have a wank because you might fuck yourself over and believe me you'll probably have a lot more fun having sex later than having a wank now yeah but i think at the end of the day i just want to tell this guy to like just jerk off and don't talk to women because you suck yeah like you got i know how you could read this back it is on seduction in case you didn't pick that up but seduction have now closed closed in much like any conservative subreddit and you have to request access to post and all

this shit shocking i know they're also freaking out because they're getting less and less posts from shitty guys and they're like we don't know why people are posting here anymore we're losing like steam and it's like yeah maybe thankfully hopefully people are getting better yeah you know what actually this is something i i want to talk about and this is something I've talked about with a couple people it's not question related that's not what we do here get out I know but hear me out

and I want to hear what you think about this as well nope and perhaps this is wishful thinking but I think my prediction within like five years or so we're going to get another sexual revolution but this time it'll be focused primarily on men Within like five years or so, we're going to get another sexual revolution. But this time it'll be focused primarily on men, their mental health, and the way that they process information in terms of relationships.

Here's why I say that. Okay. As we know, we had a sexual revolution in the 60s we had one sort of like in the early 2000s when we started talking about things like slut shaming and you know women starting to own up their own sexuality and being like no actually i want to have sex and i'm entitled to have sex and i want to enjoy sex great all those things were really good and really necessary stuff but i think we haven't had like men haven't developed sexually socially for a very long time. There's been movements, but most of them have been female driven or like, you know, driven by women sort of being like, we need, here are the things we need. And dudes who aren't terrible have sort of like

gone with it, but there hasn't been much in the way of men instigating change with men and i think the pandemic was sort of the catalyst for this because we saw a lot of dudes realizing that they don't have a support group they don't have like meaningful relationships they don't have anything other than surface level like booty calls and bros who just want to go to the bar get drunk and watch sports right we saw so many dudes get really depressed and really upset that like these lockdowns which is why you saw a bunch of dudes sort of fall into the like anti-lockdown stuff was because they had to like come to terms with the fact that like they had nothing or very little in the term in the means of satisfying emotional connections. And then we have then we can talk about like the whole Andrew Tate and the whole like seduction shit.

And I think despite the fact that a lot of young people gravitated towards that, I think we're going to start seeing men realize that it's just impressive to other men. And even then, I don't think it really is anymore. You know what I mean? It's impressive to a certain brand of men who, let's be fair, suck. Yes. So I think what we're going to end up seeing, and this is my hope. And like I said, this might be fucking optimism, but I think we're going to start seeing guys be like, oh, hold on.

I can have a better sexual and relationships in my life if I foster meaningful connections with people, primarily with other men first, and learn how to be a human being and care about other people and be expressive with my emotions and have those reciprocated by people who care about me as well. And then that translates also into like, oh, hold on, I get to have more sex if I don't play stupid Andrew Tate power games with women. If I listen to their concerns, if I consider consent, if I reject those fucking games

where women want you to like, you know, oh, you didn't try hard enough. I know I said I didn't want to have sex. You know what I mean? And I think once dudes start taking a bit more onus on you know how their behavior actually dictates how much sex they're having i think i think that's what we're going to see in the next five years i think we're going to start seeing dudes start cluing in and being like oh wait if if i just learn how to communicate and stop obsessing about the or looking for sex as means of validation and find

validation through meaningful relationships with my friends i think we're going to start seeing an uptick of dudes realizing that like that is the key to success yeah well like i'm hoping you know just from seeing various things like for example the backlash about andrew tate people like him were dime a dozen 20 years ago you know what i mean it's like the average male sex advice and relationship advice isn't really that far off from his bullshit so the fact that we're seeing people kind of like react very strongly to to what he fucking says is great the fact that i think even just like representation in media is really good for this because like even again, 10, 20 years ago, like men in media were very much like tough, emotionless, like coarse. There wasn't really much nuance.

And it's like Supernatural was huge in the military. And a lot of the reason why and a lot of the reason why a lot of men connected with that show show is because like it was two men being like emotionally vulnerable with each other and of course they were brothers and of course like that's the only reason they could do it but like a lot of people that kind of like really rung a chord with because there wasn't really that much rep for like men being emotional with each other like kind of anywhere and like now you have stuff like our flag means death where like it's just unapologetically gay and you have gay people in you know various like you know shades of gay you don't just have that stereotypical like very kind of like offensive representation and like even the people that aren't gay are you know just like everybody is allowed be whatever

shade of man that they want whatever like type whatever archetype etc etc and it like really opens you up because now you don't just have to be that one thing and you know people can see like oh i can be slightly more emotional and like i'm not going to be mocked for it i can be x y and z so i think that's really helpful too the rise of podcasts like ours getting recognized with awards that's a good sign too good sign it's funny much in media it's like you we look at things like new girl which was their original plan was to make sort of like a show for the female audience like they they were looking to capture like the audience uh primarily women and what they ended up doing was creating this

show that appealed to everyone because you had these guys who finally started looking while cartoony you know comedy versions but they started looking like actual guys actual people yeah yeah you you had like the dude who who was like a little insecure you know schmidt was an insecure mess who at throughout the series got much more relaxed and once he like shed the douchebag persona you see him like end up with a beautiful woman who loves him and then you also see like people like nick who is this slob again insecure sort of wreck who starts actually allowing people in primarily once again his his male friends, like the, the friendship between Schmidt,

Nick, and that I think is a great representation of like two dudes that we see a lot out in the wild, finally learning to accept the fact that like, Oh, I can love you. We can love each other. And that will make us far better at like pretty much everything else in our

life. But like contrast that to like how I met your mother. If you're like not that long before how i met your mother if you're like not that long before it oh yeah it was pretty trash you know garbage barney is actively disgusting i haven't even seen it in so long it's just kind of like what i can remember i imagine it's so much worse and i watched i'd say 90 of that show i watched all of it and there was i saw a clip on like Tik TOK or Instagram reels or something. And it was like, Barney was brilliant for this. And I like opened it up

because like, you know, he did stupid shit that we all like to laugh at, but it was like, Oh, he's like, Oh, I've started little goofs. Yeah. We loved his horrible, horrible treatment of women goofs, but it was like, Oh, he's like, Oh, I invest in women. And everyone's like, what do you mean? He's like, I'll show you. And then he goes to a like oh he's like oh i i invest in women and everyone's like what do you mean he's like i'll show you and then he goes to a gym and he's like you know deborah over there is fat but once she works out i've been paying for a membership once she works out and gets hot she'll come running to me because i invested in her when she was ugly and fat i was like why was this on tv yeah and that's the thing like't even, like, this niche thing a few assholes watched. Everyone watched it. Everyone liked it. It was, like,

the show. It was, like, Hail the New Friends. Fucking wild. So, like, I think we've come so far, leaps and bounds, and I like to think that the bullshit of Andrew Tate and Seduction is the dying gasp of a useless and no longer, you know, relevant

subset of people, and that people are going to move forward and be better i hope yeah that's that's my i'm hoping within five years or so five ten years that we start seeing men recognize that emotion like strong emotional and loving relationships with friends is the better way to get validation and a better way to get emotional support than trying to you know score the 10 or whatever right like that doesn't mean anything if you don't have anyone to catch you when that fails well you've seen i'm sure the articles that are out lately as well where it's like it's like oh psychologist weekly men now have to like work harder to get laid or like men are having less sex than ever

and it's like essentially because women aren't putting up with their bullshit and so many people are so upset like this isn't fair this is like gender bullying and it's like no dude it's like people are learning not to have to deal with bullshit you know what i mean and what you're doing what you want to do what you advocate for is all bullshit that's like if you took a second and thought about it you'd realize that but you're gonna be butthurt instead that's and that's what i mean it's like we've never had like men have never really had to change yeah in terms of like how we approach sexual relationships. Like we've never had to navigate anything other than just sort of like slight adjustments.

When women start reclaiming their, you know, power and sexual privilege and, and like really sad, you know what I mean? I don't think anything should stay that stagnant, let alone half the world's fucking approach to relationships and sex and dating. Like that's insane. You know, the old, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. stagnant let alone half the world's fucking approach to relationships and sex and dating

like that's insane you know the old if it ain't broke don't fix it it's been broke for so long it's been it's been broken since it started guys i never they like built an ikea table and we're like that'll do which to be fair is a pretty guy thing to do this is we've been in like a rickety cart with like a square wheel and the other one is just like spokes and we've been in like a rickety cart with like a square wheel and the other one is just like spokes and we've been clunking along a dirt road and that since the dawn of time like we we've been doing a bad job since it started and i think like you said that study i think is also really important to note of being like men under the age of i believe 30 are having less sex than they've ever had and i think what that really translates to is women are fucking done.

And women aren't going to just like have sex with people because they need to. They have like there are now people who offer an alternative. There are enough people are together. Do you have their emotions in check? Like are respectful, kind, et cetera, et cetera. It's like, why would they not sleep with those people? They don't have to choose you anymore. Yes.

And like, I think that is another contributing factor is like people look to whoever's being successful, right? Like that is why people flocked to Andrew Tate at the time because, you know, rich, good shape, successful career, yada, yada. And so people are like oh that's success but most people like the average dude isn't you know a millionaire former kickboxing champion who's you know shredded like it just so it's like that's not a recipe what there are actionable things you could do and that's forge meaningful relationships and treat women with

respect like those are very easy things to do that will get you the same results that you're chasing living in the shadow of fucking misogynistic douchebag influencers yeah it's just wild like what's more attainable going out and and actually giving a shit about your friends and then also not treating women like garbage or becoming a millionaire like it's not gonna happen it's so easy to fucking that's not to say you're very good at kickboxing you don't need to do this because why not have both why not both you could be the ant ant ant ant drew tate anti tate be the anti-tate which also sounds like antidote and he's toxic as fuck so that makes sense yeah anyway

that's my that's my big long rant about how i think a sexual revolution is coming i didn't know we could just uh do rent now that's awesome hey we're award-winning podcast we could do whatever the fuck i told you i'm drunk with power i'll do whatever the hell i want now damn damn if i had one best host oh you don't want to see you don't want to see what happens then i'm so glad you didn't i'd be never hear the end of it i'd be unstoppable no i really wanted you to i voted for you you didn't vote for me we all know it not denying it is he uh are you ready for one last question yeah there's a quick one this is my cheesecake ah what what's exactly keeping you from forming a serious relationship with your friends with benefits if you've been with your fuck buddy for a while it means you

like him to a certain extent the sex is good why aren't you exclusive why aren't you giving your chance yourself a chance at a good relationship because sexual chemistry doesn't equate into good relationship yeah that like i love the responses to this because it's a lot of people being like obviously those two things aren't the same and the other half of people being like it's just insecure cowards you want to eat their cake and have it that's like whoa like just because you've been sleeping with someone for a while doesn't mean you should just date them for no reason right like you don't just date someone because they're around like oh fuck i've i've been on three dates i just i guess i got it what's keeping me from dating like you should want to be in a relationship and you should want to because of a lot of things because you should

take relationships very seriously you don't just like slip into them because you've kind of been around each other for a while. Also, that's like saying, oh, you're friends with someone, you hang out with them every day and you like them. So why aren't you dating them? You know what I mean? That's just kind of the flip side of the same question. Yeah, exactly. Because like friends are, you know, friends with benefits without the benefits. They're just friends. So like if you're equating good sexual chemistry to being the same as getting into a relationship why not if you're if you're good friends why not date them and a lot of people i think yeah i think that's a great comparison like it's just some people like some people fill roles that you want better than others and some people don't slot into those roles that they don't slot into

like there are a lot of people who you know anyone i've ever had that have been a consistent sexual partner with me just because i don't date them doesn't mean i don't like them it doesn't mean that like i think less of them or that they are you know a lower tier person or anything it's just no i know we have great sex and that is sort of all i want right now yeah and that's the thing they could be a wonderful person that the relationship might be possible with in a different setting or in a different year you know i mean you could be out of a relationship and just not be in the mood for another one so soon and meet someone incredible and have something fucking wildly great and you don't have to date like people on reddit seem to think it's a myth that you might need time between relationships or might

not be ready to date at any given time yeah or that you know if you're having sex you're ready to essentially get married it's like no yeah because like a friends with benefits situation it's a two way fucking street so it's like they don't want it either and there's nothing wrong with that yeah it's it's a weird also like the idea of this you mentioned it earlier and like the phrase never made any sense to me of the like oh they just want to have their cake and eat it too yeah that's why i bought the cake like i never understood why people said that as a bad thing it's like yes yes i buy cake so i could eat it why the fuck would i buy a cake if i wasn't gonna eat it so you know what the actual phrase is right like what it means

apparently i just think it's about cake well yeah it is but it's like it's not that you get a cake and eat it it's like you eat it but still have it it's like they want it both ways when you can't right so it's like if you eat your cake you don't have it because you've eaten it but i had it yes exactly but it's not saying they want to have had a cake and eat it it's they want to have their cake and eat it well that's just that doesn't make any sense either because why again i know i'm having a cake no one wants to just have a cake yeah yeah no it's it's a dumb saying also it's like how is it like having your cake and eating it is an impossibility like having a fuck buddy very possible in fact it's wonderful so question mark do you not understand how this works you don't fuck them and they disappear wait what do they do it's the real

the here you're here for the dark truth about one night stands if you fuck someone and you don't date them you thanos snap them yeah yeah people just need to fucking calm down sex is great yeah and look we're not saying that you can't develop feelings for your your fuck buddy if that happens have the conversation maybe it works out maybe they're like yeah actually this is great this is this is something that i would like to pursue who knows or they might be like actually I'm still not looking for anything serious right now. If you're starting to get really attached, I understand if you want to break it off because it's unfair to you.

Have a normal adult responsible, mature conversation about it and an honest one and see what happens. But you can't like, I don't want people to think that like, oh, fuck buddies are fuck buddies and they can't ever progress to anything else. No, you can 100% end up dating your fuck buddy.

Sure. I love that for you. Realistically, I think the only way to properly date someone is to be fuck buddies. Because if you're being casual and you're sleeping together, that's you being fuck buddies, really. Yeah. Unless you meet and immediately date, which you got to do or else they will disappear. Man, it's a real eat your cake or have it situation, isn't it? Yeah, so like, realistically

we are all fuck buddies at some point. A lot of those progress and a lot of them never do. And some of them go through like an extended fuck buddy period and then you realize you're great. And sometimes one person thinks and the other one doesn't. It all goes a multitude of different fucking ways. But there's nothing wrong with having fuck buddies.

It's great. Yeah. And there's nothing wrong with dating. It's great. Yeah, just do what you want to do. And as long as no one's getting hurt and as long as you're being open and honest about it and everyone is aware of the situation,

go for it. Yeah. All right. Should we do some tindies? Yeah, let's do some tindies. At the end of the episode, we like to hop onto online dating platforms such as Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge and peruse them.

Comb through the profiles, see what works, what doesn't work, in an effort to make your online dating experience a little more enjoyable. Our first profile is Petra. Their occupation is definitely not a spy. Hello, I'm Petra. I'm using the Tinder to find new husband after first was killed by bear. 6'3",

278 pounds of pure siberian muscle ideal mate to bear children strong as ox wide fertile hips ready to be plowed like potato fields of motherland must be able to defeat bear in battle not making that mistake again serious inquiry only uh i love this it's good i, like the only thing, I mean, are they as big as they're saying they are? Can you tell? Well, it is what looks like a small lady. So no. Yes.

Yeah. So the only thing I were talking about their, their first husband was maybe six, three, two 80 pounds of muscle. Fair. Okay. Or maybe they're talking about the bear. I don't know. This is a good profile.

It makes me laugh i love it i'm gonna give it an eight yeah i'm gonna give it an eight as well i really want to see what the other pictures are because the picture is also kind of a joke picture so i don't know if this is just a fully fake profile that they're just having fun with but it's pretty good yeah uh this is lira or lyra my type of man seats at the big boys table in Las Vegas. Sophisticated men only. Too hard emoji. I meet in person, not interested in pen pals.

I'll answer when I find the tolerance for this app, like squirrely face. P.S. If you think I'm a bot after all of this bio and speaking with me, kindly shoot yourself. There's no reason for paranoia. Jesus fuck. Did they say they ate people before i meet people i meet in person oh i said i've eaten person there's like damn okay they're cannibal uh this is a i i just feel really bad because i don't see that big boy table in vegas it's weird to be like i want a man who sits at the big boy table like i understand you're saying like why not say the high roller table right is that what they mean i assume they mean they sit at like high stakes games like they

i'm assuming this is her saying like i want someone with money maybe but like calling it the big boy table yeah it's funny that you'd be like i don't want a child and then infantilize the term so heavily yeah uh this is so bad of a profile it's gonna be it's gonna be a zero i also think it's a zero there's like nothing here that makes me want to like i meet in person not interested in pen pals okay well like i'd like to chat a little bit before like i'm all down to meet up quickly. And then you do the whole Vegas thing, which is clearly a thing being like, I want a man with money. And then I'll answer when I have the tolerance for this app.

It's like, okay, so if you don't, why are you here? Yeah. And then also the whole shoot yourself. I'm going to advocate suicide. Jesus Christ. Fucking chill. Yeah, this person fucking sucks. I hate it.

This is Alina. A random fact I love is receiving flowers with a handwritten note. Intellectual conversations. Reading a good book on a rainy day by the fireplace wrapped up in a cozy blanket. I don't hate it. I don't think there's a whole lot. Those are all pretty generic things. I don't really don't hate it I don't think there's a whole lot like those are all pretty generic things too and like I don't really know much about you well I think one thing we know about

her is she's bad at prompts because it says a random fact I love none of these are random facts that you love yeah and it doesn't give me much hope for these intellectual conversations yeah it sounds like you just wanted to say these things and needed a prompt surely there are better prompts yeah also probably i think intellectual conversations are just gonna be a red flag for me forever because i think it's just a very douchey thing to say like i find it hard to not have an intellectual conversation with someone unless you're being really like presumptuous like not presumptuous like uh what's the word damn it i'm not being intellectual pretentious that's the one yeah like i'm not really interested in like if it happens i'm all down to talk about economics and politics and stuff like i like even then it's like like is that necessarily even an intellectual

conversation i've seen a lot of people talk about politics the last two years i would say the majority of them were the worst an excellent point a very good point so i don't know i just feel like it's it's one of those people's like don't talk to me about small talk let's discuss death and blah blah blah it's like you you're not going to i know you won't yeah or if you do it's the same like canned lines that you say to everyone because you you know got it out of a fucking book sometime and think that makes you deep exactly i'm gonna give this a four because it's i don't hate it but i also i'm not interested the prompt is bad the intellectual conversations thing is bad and overall it's kind of bland receiving flyers with a handwritten note. Sure. Pretty basic. Reading good book on a rainy day

by the fire wrapped up in the cozy blanket. I fucking love it. But again, kind of standard. So yeah, a four is appropriate. They don't give their name, which is probably wise. I am not easygoing person. I am stubborn, unpredictable. Ah, yes. You will find the difficulty to speak to me even on the lower basis. Remember, I am here not to make your life easy till I will know you better. If you think Tinder is for sex, then okay. If you have a chance to meet me, remember, you'll play my cards. Don't stress me because there's a lot of man who was waiting for one my smile for days. No dogs and cats. I'm not playing to kiss you after you've been licked

by them. They lick their ass. Okay. The beginning started kind of sounding like a gangster rap. Like you reading out sort of the lyrics of like an old 80s. I am not easygoing person. I am stubborn. Unpredictable. Ah, yes.

You will find it difficult to speak to me even on the lower pieces. Right. Like I feel like if you've got a flow going, I feel like that could be like an old sort of like ice cube track no sorry not icu ice tea yeah no i could see it um again this is one of those like clearly english is not the first language situation where i like it but but the energy the energy is bad I feel like even if we give a translation leeway, it's pretty bitter and miserable. I don't go on to online dating. It's already tough enough for me to be like, all right, I'll do a little bit of swiping. To be this combative, I'm like, I want to meet someone who's fun and have a good time.

And best case, find someone I want to hang out with for a longer period of time worst case i want to like have a decent like have a couple good drinks have a decent conversation be like sorry it didn't work out i don't want to have to fight to talk to you or for you to talk to me nicely like that's not what i'm interested in i can't imagine just daily life with this kind of outlook like just calm down you can i don't know this this sucks basically also dogs and cats are the best fuck you you get a one yeah i'm putting it in one two uh thank you very much for listening that's gonna do it for this week we appreciate appreciate you. We love you. If you would like to support the show and you listen to this one, you're

like, damn, I want more. Also, they did a good job and I would like to help them to continue to do a good job. Head on over to fbuddiespodcast.com. Click the Patreon link and you can sign up and pledge any level of support that's available to you. At the

$7 level level the medium tier you get access to not only a new episode every month that we release exclusive on our patreon called pillow talk but you also get the backlog catalog of everything we've recorded prior so that's i i think we're at 15 episodes now that's pretty good it's a few months worth of episodes technically yeah you could double up on us. You know, one on Monday, one on Wednesday. Get you through the week. Yep.

Yeah, we would love any support. And we love everyone who supports us. You guys are our fucking absolute stars. And we love you. Thank you to Josh Eagle and Harvard Cities for the song Paper Stars. And it's probably time for some bad sex writing. Sure is. Are you ready for the newest sexy book that you could buy on uh amazon yes i'm

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All six four of ya. My name is Dave Miller. And I'm Devlin Murphy. We've been your fun buddies.