F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 221 - Sexmas Spectacular 2022

Episode Date: December 26, 2022

Did we lose track of time and forget to do a Sexmas episode or is Sexmas whenever we want it to be?  Topics include Dain settles the Die Hard debate, stinky laundry pick-up, porn and sex addiction, analingus scrub down, carding your date, stubborn spousal gift giving, having your crush called out, expecting a romcom answer.

I put my trust in you, and I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. I put my trust in you, and I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. Hello friends, my name is Dane Miller. And my name is Niles Bain. And we're your fuck buddies also. We are an award winning sex and dating advice show where we take your sticky sexy situations and turn them into sexy sticky situations.

Simply put, we scour the internet for questions or we get them sent in by our wonderful listeners like yourself. We answer them here in award winning fashion every Monday and one extra time a month if you join our Patreon. And look, I know you're probably thinking it. I'm thinking it. Did we miss Sex Miss? award-winning fashion every Monday and one extra time a month if you join our Patreon. And look, I know you're probably thinking it. I'm thinking it. Did we miss Sexmas? No, we didn't because Sexmas is whenever we say it is. So this is Sexmas. Yes. And we knew that and planned for it and talked about it. And I'm on the same page as Dane. Yep. I didn't just remember right this second that we didn't do a sexless episode and springing on Niall. Yep.

I'm not frantically looking up Christmas themed sex and dating advice questions. Hey, now, you know what I'm going to do? Every time I read a question, I'll just put in some jingle bell sounds because if Christmas music has taught me anything, as long as there's jingle bells, it's a Christmas song. It's true.

So as long, as long as there's jingle bells, it's a Christmas song. It's true. So as long as there's a little bit of Christmas stank on these questions, we're okay. So don't worry about looking things up. It's fine. Well, the thing is, this is like our diehard where people are like, is diehard a Christmas movie? And it's like, it happens at Christmas.

Guess what's happening right now? This. Guess what this is? Christmas. Can we talk about this for a second? I think I've talked to you about this before, but okay. I'm going to do it. Die Hard is a Christmas movie, right?

I think, I think we can, we can all agree on that. And when I say we all, I know there's a lot of people who are like, it's not a Christmas movie. Also, Bruce Willis came out. Who's like, it's not a Christmas movie. It's a Bruce Willis movie. And I'm like, Bruce, that's a stupid thing to say. Arrogant son of a bitch.

That means nothing. You stupid bitch. Bitch Willis. Here's, here's a stupid thing to say. Arrogant son of a bitch. That means nothing, you stupid bitch. Bitch Willis. Here's why, and here's how you win every argument with any idiot who says that Die Hard isn't a Christmas movie. You say, oh, is Home Alone a Christmas movie? And people are usually like, yes, of course it is. There's Christmas music. It happens at Christmas.

Hey, guess what? You've described die hard no but it's about a guy and there's criminals that are in the place where he's at for christmas and he like sneaks around and has traps and hurts them and stuff yeah nothing nothing hey what movie did we just describe i just remember which one i'm describing there's a male protagonist who's out of their element doesn't have shoes on they are trying to who doesn't there's a lot of foot trauma yeah people fall off buildings people fall off buildings so i'm just saying look if you think home alone is a christmas movie then die hard is a christmas movie and that's something that you can't argue with me about because home alone can happen at

any time of the year the same way that Hard, there are plenty of movies about people saving a building from terrorists. There's that Jean-Claude Van Damme one we watched a while ago. I don't remember what it was called. Die Medium. Die Slightly Softer, where he's protecting the stadium during a hockey game. Sure. But there's a ton of home invasion movies as well. It's true.

It's true. Panic room. Panic room. The purge. The one with the other one with the masks. I know we're going a little off genre here, but at the same time, if those happened at Christmas, they would be home alone. Just was a different flavor. It's true.

So that's just, I'm putting it to bed once and for all. And now this is officially a sexmas episode. You're welcome. Are you ready for our first sexmas question? And I have my own way to add Christmas spice. Okay. But anyway,

this question's by Rudolph girl who works at the laundromat has a crush on me. I totally have a crush on her back, but feel awkward about asking someone out at work. What do? Super cute girl. Totally goes wide-eyed and breathless when I come around. Smiley face. Totally my type, but I've never been the one to ask out a girl at work. How to drop a hint without going all the way. Okay. One, are you sure that you just don't have real stinky, stinky clothes? Yeah, that's the thing. It's like I've never met someone who's been literally breathless.

And like I've had a few people have a little crush on me once or twice. Once or twice. Once or twice, maybe. But like if they're like, yeah, maybe you just got that stank foot. Are you bringing in your like fucking hockey bag after a couple weeks of practice and you just unzip that bad boy? And all of a sudden she's wide eyed and breathless because if she does inhale at all, she will throw up. The eyes widen when your stank hits her nose and then she's breathless because she cannot breathe. She cannot breathe.

That first Home Alone style invasion of her nose. Cool. I like the way that you are thinking about the fact that this person is at work and also i didn't realize people worked at laundromats well i just love that he says literally laundry mat as if it's not a laundromat oh i see what you're saying like it's literally laundry space mat yes very good maybe that's what they call it wherever he's from that's true it's true but also how his question is how do i drop a hint without going all the way that's what they call it wherever he's from. That's true. But also how his question is, how do I drop a hint without going all the way?

It's like, going all the way is it means a thing. Yes. How do I drop a hint without fucking her? Without having sex with her. What? Again, I know what they mean. I think this is easy. You chat. If you haven't been chatting, you are not at the point

Well, actually actually you go first because i asked the question do what every self-respecting adult does and put your name your phone number and your address on all of your clothing specifically your underwear and oops you have left one behind no you leave them all behind all of them all of your underwear one you leave no leave every item of clothing behind and put it on every single one because if you leave just one thing odds are it's going in the bin no one's going to be like oh i opened this up there's 1900 items of clothes all of which have a name and address a number on it and i'm gonna toss them you go hey cute laundromat girl i don't know what's

happening here but some psychopath has left their clothing here and they go, ah, beans. I call them. And then they're like, wait, that's that stinky boy. Yeah. Okay. Here's what I would do.

And I think this is direction now is going. You need to get strike up a conversation. If you're just making eyes at one another, look, ain't no crime to look at people. And maybe she likes, you know, when the handsome cute dude who comes in and does his very stinky laundry comes in.

Maybe maybe she loves it. You know, does that necessarily mean she wants to go on a date with you? Now, there's a lot of people who, you know, regulars at my bar that I am like, cuties back. What up? But I don't want to date with them. So who knows? Maybe you're just a little bit of eye candy for her during. Otherwise, what I can only imagine is mind numbing job.

Or maybe you're the one going wide eyed around her and she's eyeing you back because she's worried. That's the thing that always worries me in situations like this is like, you never really know. And I'm sure we've all been there where there are a lot of times you're like, I'm pretty sure that person likes me. But you always second guess yourself. Yeah. A lot of people go the opposite way where it's like, oh, that person likes me and they just don't. So it's like you never really know. And the only way to be sure here while not being creepy is to literally have a conversation with and like, don't just have one conversation and be like, that's it. It's like if you go there every week or two, you could see them three times in six weeks have a chat and

like if it goes well you could just be like oh it's crazy i only see you here like i would love to you know see outside one time like do you want to hang out yeah even even something along the lines of like i really enjoy chatting with you i wish i like it sucks that it's only an hour every two weeks so if you'd ever like to like you know grab a coffee or grab a drink i'd be totally down um now you do also run the risk of being like do you really like this laundromat yeah because like again it's really shitty and this is why i assume you're hesitant about asking someone out at work but it is generally why it is a bad call is because like they are under your power really so it's hard for them to say no. It puts them in an awkward position, et cetera, et cetera. So odds are she will probably make an excuse or say yes.

That doesn't mean that she actually wants to end the date with you. So it's like you need to do it in the least aggressive way possible. I wouldn't ask for her number. I would leave yours. Yeah. You know, be chill. And then, like, if they cancel or if they don't seem all that into it you just go and move on and never wash your clothes again yeah which you're not already

doing because you're so stinky so so stinky i feel like i'm necessarily dunked on this man no it's a joke and we all get it anyway you you got this, Rudolph. This is Petite Latina 934. I think I may be a sex slash porn addict, 20 year old female. I watch porn at least once a day, tend to have sex a lot more than the average person. It is something I think about all the time. I can't seem to stop. I try to keep my addiction secret, but sometimes it's hard and I'm worried that it will affect my relationships in the future. Has anyone else been through the same? is it bad thing to be the way that i am well the average person does not fuck so you're safe in that regard they don't have you like the average like amount of sex someone has a year is like once or twice or something what yeah it's all it's like

as hey as far as i know the average amount of sex that you know all genders and ages let's see once or twice a year yeah okay i was wrong which is good i was gonna say it's like i was thinking sorry one or two partners okay what i was thinking which is you. I feel like long-term relationships and marriages skew that. But they also skew the other stat, right? Where if it's like, apparently people in their 20s have sex more than 80 times a year, right? It's like if you're in a relationship, easy. You're doubling that, tripling that.

Hopefully. Depending on, you know, if you're like eight years in, right? Or four years in or whatever. So I don't know. I wouldn't worry about averages because like there are always people at the top and at the bottom skewing them. So yeah, the idea of like saying you have sex more than the average person, like if you're having sex every day, then yeah, sure. You know, you probably are, especially if you don't have a, like you're not in a relationship. Yeah. And even even then it's like is it a new partner every day

and if so that's still not necessarily bad i would be a little worried if it was literally every day a new partner because i'm like where are you meeting these people and how and the worry is that the surrounding reasons why you're doing it and results of said sex are not good but it's like if these are good people you're all consenting you're actually having a fun positive time i wouldn't even be worried about that but i assume that's not what's happening here porn once a day like it's a little excessive but like if you're horny you're horny what age is this person 20 20 oh my god you're like peak horny so yeah you're thinking about sex all the time me too you have more sex than the average me too you watch porn maybe not every day but enough it's like i get you and look at the end of the day it doesn't matter how much you are consuming it really doesn't it all depends on how much of

an effect this is having on your life yes like it's like how you're consuming it and what it does to you rather than just like you know it's not like there's a number yeah like do you get depressed if you don't have sex or get to watch porn and masturbate or you know like if you if there's a an actionable consequence to not pursuing these things then yes that's when you have to start worrying about it are you finding it harder to get aroused by actual people because it doesn't match up with the mental pictures that you've created from all the porn you're consuming. Are you making risky decisions and sacrificing important parts of your life just to have sex?

You know what I mean? That's a bad thing. That's like an addiction related thing. Whereas if you're just having healthy sex with consensual willing partners when it happens and you're happy, that's not sex addiction. You're just doing well. Yeah. You're just having an active sexual life. That's really what you need to think about.

You need to think about like, hey, if I don't get sex, do I get depressed? Do I get, you know, do I start lashing out? Or as Niall says, do I start making bad decisions so that I can have sex? Am I just sleeping with random people so that I can like check the had sex box for the day and like are other parts of your life suffering like you know it's there's a lot to it and if there is something nagging at you in the back of your head being like hey this might not be right then go see a therapist go get counseling talk about this with a mental health professional and be like, hi, I feel like I might be overdoing this. I don't know why.

Because there might not. Well, you might not have a porn or sex addiction. This sort of feeling like you're doing something wrong is also something that needs to be explored, in my opinion. Yeah, because either you're picking up on something that's wrong and great that needs to be explored or you're feeling guilt for something that isn't wrong and that also needs to be explored. So, yeah, yeah, there might be a past trauma or something that sort of is making you feel like you don't deserve sexual satisfaction or that the way you're getting it isn't something you're worth. I don't know. We don't have enough questions. I'm not a professional. So if you're really concerned about this, one, I would really, really take a second and reflect and see how this

is affecting your personal life on a mental level, on a physical level, on a relationship level. If nothing is suffering because of the things you want to do, how much porn you want to watch, and how much sex you want to have, if there's no consequences, if there's nothing bad happening because of it, I wouldn't worry too much. And two, ultimately, if you're feeling bad about it, if there is something that's peaking your, you know, your fight or flight, then go see a professional about it. All right. We got a question from Blitzen here. I 18 year old female. That's weird. I thought Blitzen was older. Like having my ass eaten.. I, 18 year old female, that's weird. I thought Blitzen was older, like having my ass eaten. My boyfriend, 22 year old male, only does it on the terms that he gets

to wash my ass in the shower and he scrubs hard and it feels demeaning. I'm a huge fan of ass alingas and my boyfriend is a germaphobe. I begged him to eat my ass for months and now he finally does it on one condition. He has to take a shower with me and has to wash my ass for me. He says he doesn't trust I'll clean it good enough, which is kind of insulting. Even for normal oral, he requires me to take a shower with soap. And when he scrubs, he scrubs hard, and it burns sometimes. Kind of takes the joy out of it. I don't know how he acts like I'm a piece of garbage. I kind of wished he was like my ex who'd eat me out whenever, on a moment's notice, even if we spent all day at the beach first. My current boyfriend treats me like I'm disgusting. He'll ask for a BJ after a long day of class, which is

kind of hypocritical, but I guess it doesn't disgust me, and I never ask him to shower. I just love him for who he is, all his odors. It doesn't matter. He only seems to want to kiss and fondle me after I brush my teeth in the morning, and scrubbed, he bugs me more when I perfume. I don't know what that means. If I'm not, then I always have to initiate hug slash make out. Should I just give up on having my ass ETN, which I assume means eaten? Yeah. Is this weird? Absolutely.

One, I understand wanting your partner to be thoroughly cleaned when it comes to the butthole stuff. For sure. I absolutely get that do i also think that it's crossing a line to bring you into the shower and scrub you down like a dog who's rolled around in muck yeah also not great so it's one of those things where you need to have a conversation and be like hello i really appreciate you as a germaphobe eating my ass however i'm not a fan of the treatment that i get when i'm in the shower we can turn this into a fun sexy foreplay time but when you're scrubbing me down like you know i'm i'm dirty off-road tires like i'm that guy's laundry yes like i'm rudolph's laundry

i don't feel very sexy and it kind of takes me out of the mood at which point defeats the whole purpose. And on top of that, it seems like there's actual physical pain and discomfort as well, which like I think is probably the worst part. Yeah. So I think it's totally fair. If he says,

Hey, I, I am only doing this because it really grosses me out and I need to sort of like fix that sort of like mental bug and hurdle. And the only way I can do that is by doing this because it really grosses me out and I need to sort of like fix that sort of like mental bug and hurdle. And the only way I can do that is by doing this. Then I think it might be worth being like, okay, this is just something that he doesn't like to do and isn't worth pursuing. Whether that means you give up on getting analingus or you move on to a new relationship where your needs are met, you know? Cause I think it is fair to like, people have,

we've always talked about it. If you're not a kink, and I think eating your ass is definitely far less common than everything else, or not everything else, but you know, like regular fingering and you know, blah, blah, blah. It's like, if someone's not into it, they're not into if you're really into it, that's fine, you know, but I do think you need to have this conversation, let them know how you feel. And like, on the flip side, it's like, from your point of view, everybody has to be a certain level of clean, unless you're really into some, you know, pig play or whatever the fuck it's called. Pig play? Yeah. Then you need to be clean and everyone's partner needs to be clean. So it's like him being

like, oh, you need to be clean. It's like, yeah know and i will do that you know and it's fine if the concession is just like we don't do it after we've been at the beach all day i get it especially for a butt especially for a butt i mean that's the thing it's like i love oral sex and i love satisfying partners kinks and i love sort of you know doing what what really gets them going is what gets me going. However, I have done it enough and I've tried it in various ways. And I know that eating ass just isn't for me. It's just not a thing that I enjoy. And therefore, if I'm going to do it, it's going to be bad.

Like, I'm not going to do it enthusiastically. And if I'm not doing something enthusiastically, I don't see the point in doing it. And I feel that way about literally everything when it comes to sex. And I hope that my partners feel the same too. If my partner doesn't enthusiastically enjoy something I've asked them to do or something that we're currently doing, I would hope that they don't want it. They would let me know and we wouldn't do it anymore. Right. I don't, I don't want anything to be done during sex to not be done enthusiastically. For sure. Because it sucks.

Yeah. Because it either goes one way or the other. Either, like I said, it's going to be like mediocre and half-hearted and at which point sucks and I don't want it. Or I'm going to feel like I'm mistreating them. And I don't want to feel that way either. Like I don't want a shitty blowjob and I don't want to feel like a shitty partner. Yeah.

So the thing is this person may have been nervous at the start. Maybe they've eased into it somewhat, but if you haven't talked about it, they probably assume you're as cool with it as they are. So if you're not cool with it, tell them if they have no compromise, you need to decide whether having your ass eaten is worth leaving the relationship or if their relationship is worth not having your ass eaten is worth leaving the relationship or if their relationship is worth not having your ass eaten you know yeah that's a great point and that that's it but he doesn't know how you're feeling so tell him and understand where he's coming from it's a phobia and butts are dirty so yeah maybe maybe it'd be like look how about i wash myself and we'll try

it next time and you can veto it whenever if there's anything wrong but like don how about i wash myself and we'll try it next time and you can veto it whenever if there's anything wrong but like don't worry i will do a good job and that's a pretty good compromise for step one right and then maybe he's comfortable going forward or something like that you know what i mean but like or as dane said turn showers into like a sexy time and just tell him that you don't like being clinically hosed down and scrub till it burns. My butt hurts thinking of that. Yeah, that sounds like a bad time. And hey, I'm a thorough cleaner. Yeah.

But I would never, the only time I ever scrub until it hurts is if I've got like permanent marker or something on me. It's just trying to get it off. And as long as you're not shoving permanent markers up your butt, I think you should refrain from scrubbing. All that skin down there is very very tender treat it carefully please you know how easy it is to tear your butthole please it's pretty easy you don't want a fucking anal fissure nope this is from holder manju how to verify that someone is actually over 18 without checking id lol So I have an impending date with someone, and I'm not trying

to fuck it up. Pretty simple. LOL. However, how do I go about verifying age without checking her ID? Or at least, how do I check her ID without being in a fucked up situation? Because that'd be some awkward shit. I bring her to a bar, you know IDs. Yup.

Here's the thing for me. It doesn't say their age. Yeah. So if you are 18 and you're worried about, you know, dating someone who might be 16, I get it. If you're a 30 and you look at someone and you're like, you might be underage. Why are you trying to sleep with them? Yeah. Right. And I'm not trying to disparage someone for age gaps.

I'm not trying to disparage someone for age gaps. I'm not trying to disparage someone for looking younger. But if you look at someone and you think they might be a child, it's kind of weird to be like, still want to fuck them, though. You know, like I fully agree. But I do have friends who's like partners can look very young in certain photos. You know what I mean? So it's like maybe maybe there's a picture on Instagram that's throwing you for a loop. But in general. You know what I mean? So it's like, maybe there's a picture on Instagram that's throwing you for a loop, but in general, you know what I mean?

There might be grayer areas, but I do agree. It's like, you know, if you have that fear, you could probably just do yourself a favor and find somebody else. I also think if you go on a date with someone and you just say like, you look really young. Do you mind if I check your ID? I don't know if they'll

get that pissed off i i mean oh yeah i don't know i think that's a weird play i like unless you can do it in a funny way i'd be like like ask them be like how old are you you look so young how old are you and when they tell you be like i don't believe you oh there's no way there's no way and then you can be like all right prove it to me you know keep it light and but like if you're just like i need to see some id it could be fun or you could always do the like oh man my id my like my photo id is so bad it's so embarrassing like i'll show you my picture if you show me yours even if your picture's not bad it doesn't matter you're not trying to do that what you're trying to do is glimpse them digits and then you both pull out and you know show you show each other your ids and hopefully at that point in

time you can you can sneak and get a get a glimpse of the old birth date yeah but i think i think what you said is is the way to do what i would do is i would go to a bar that i know the bartender at hopefully you have a local yeah and just be like hey when my date gets here can you id her for me and like that's a good thing because if you are being creepy, then someone else could see that you're being creepy and stop you. And if you're not being creepy, I just thought of this. The 18 isn't the age of majority like anywhere. I mean, it is. But like in North America, which I assume this is taking place, I think like Montreal is the only place you can drink where you're 18 the state is 21 everywhere else in canada is 19 ireland's 18 england's 18 like a lot of places

like france and spanish other 16 well hopefully you're european otherwise this plan doesn't work yeah but like that's true again it's like look is what i said a bit weird being like yeah ask them for their id sure is it better than fucking someone who's underage yeah for sure it's like, look, is what I said a bit weird being like, yeah, ask them for their ID. Sure. Is it better than fucking someone who's underage? Yeah, for sure. That's like if they do look young, I'm sure they get it. And if they're going to be weird about it, then you probably don't want to sleep with that person anyway, especially because you won't know whether they're under 18 or not.

Yeah. It's the thing. It's like that was kind of the point i was making it's like if you can't find a way out better to do something cringy that might end what's happening then try to be cool and maybe make sure you know what i mean it's like if push comes to shove just be weird and ask and it's like if that's the only way you can find to do sure and if it ruins something then okay that sucks date someone who looks older next time yeah it's better to implode it than yes to yeah yeah yeah i see what you're saying like and that that was the point i was making it's like you know we like to have fun and throw out different gambits that

may or may not work they may not be realistic all the time um and well they you know but like some are more fun than others whereas like with this it's like if something goes wrong what i'm trying to say is we always give perfect actionable advice like leaving your name and number on every piece of clothing yeah now the downside of that plan to revisit is that you now have no clothes so when you go to meet them you are naked which is itself not wonderful or it increases the reason to call be like that man it's winter it's so cold out So when you go to meet them, you are naked, which is itself not one. Or it increases the reason to call. Be like that man. It's winter.

It's cold out there. He left every item. But like, yeah, that's that's my advice here is like if the choice is between making a potentially bad decision or potentially embarrassing yourself for imploding something, choose embarrassment and implosion. Yeah. Yeah. I'd rather be like, oh, shit, I didn't get to fuck this person then be like oh shit i fucked this person exactly all right this one's by dancer is that one or is that just a dancer and prancer prancer this is by blitzen again donder did i do donder ah fuck man this is by santa husband won't tell me what he wants for christmas married for almost five years. Hey, Christmas. Every birthday slash Christmas slash

anniversary, I spend a lot of time, energy, and money getting him something I think he'll love and then he doesn't like it. I always end up returning it, giving him the money, and he chooses something for himself. First couple of times that happened, I got upset. I love giving gifts. I've always had great feedback from family, but my husband's so picky. He's always grateful, but there's often something not quite right with anything I get him, and the reasons he gives seem very small. It was his birthday a few months ago, and I got him a very expensive professional Japanese knife set. He loves making sushi. I spent hours over the weeks leading up to his birthday researching traditional knife making, watching vlogs, reading reviews, and when he opened it up,

he just said, thanks. Straight straight mouth face i asked him why he didn't seem happy and he said it looks too professional i wouldn't know how to use them so i turned them and he went shopping the following weekend and got some clothes didn't get set or make a big deal out of it but a couple days later when i had the chance to think i told him i won't be buying him gifts anymore without him saying exactly what he wants because i'm wasting a lot of time and energy shopping for gifts just to be returned he seemed agitated but he agreed it's coming up to christmas i've been asking him for weeks what he wants. For myself, I saw a bag I loved, so I asked for that. Even ordered it myself. It was quite

expensive, so I said to think of something he wanted for a similar price and let me know. I've asked him multiple times, and he won't tell me what to get him. I suggested the watch, and he said that sounded fine, but the last time I got him one, he hated it. I asked for his preference in color, brand, and material, but he he just says i don't know i went christmas shopping today and i've bought for everybody but him i looked at quite a few watches and couldn't decide i asked him again if he still wanted to watch but he said don't get me anything it doesn't matter i don't know why he's being like this i have no issue putting thought and effort into it but he always ends up choosing for himself anyway what can i do huh this is annoying this is annoying i am the same kind of like i really

enjoy giving gifts and it sucks because i'm gonna i also live in this guy's headspace where it's like i'm fine not getting gifts getting gifts for me like it's always so lovely and i'm always very overwhelmed by the kindness and the thought that people put in for it but like i don't need them so like if i never get a gift ever again cool i i'm more of a time spent experience kind of thing um on the upside that's my advice for this situation okay give a do a do a thing i'm saying do a thing and that thing could even be like look i'm gonna take you out to the mall you guys get spend the day together maybe you can have a nice brunch maybe you can have a beer maybe you can you know but if he's just gonna go buy fucking clothes for himself anyway at least make it into a day where you guys get

to spend some time together and like again unless he's also miserable in that scenario but like that at least is fun i think like or it seems fun to me yeah maybe get a like a master class sushi making thing where you guys can go and do like a sushi class if he didn't think his those knives if he thinks his skills aren't up to par for those fancy knives you got him be like great here you go let's do let's do a sushi class together and now maybe maybe you will want those sushi knives man i would love some fucking kick-ass Japanese knives. Yeah. I did. Like literally when I read that, I'd be like,

I was like, Oh, I love it. I bought myself a big cleaver a while back. And like, I just, I love it. It's not even,

I'm sure anything near as fancy as this, but it's like kind of got that like wavy blade. And it's just like, it's almost too nice to use. It's definitely not real folded steel, but it's given the illusion of and I like it, it's got some heft to it helps me when I'm cooking like whole

chickens or whatever, it's great so I would love this, yes, get me a big Japanese knife set listeners, please and Dave, we'll both take one yeah, I would love love, I bought a knife set recently and like it's good, it's cool, but man I want a knife set that I like, it's good. It's cool. But man, I want a knife set that I can like, that's wrapped in leather.

You know? You can unfold like Dexter. Yes, exactly. What's the question? I don't know. Tell your husband to stop being a fucking idiot. Yeah, I will say. Okay, I'll float this by you.

What about calling this bluff? Just not getting him a present. Yeah, don't get him anything. You know, like I don't love that because i don't think he means it but maybe that's the way the cookie should crumble here's here's why i'm gonna pause it same sort of energy get him a gift you know he'll hate right okay yeah because if he's just being like kind of shitty because it does sound like there's something else going on here right like whether he feels i don't know insecure about his own gift giving or i don't know what the fuck it is he sounds a little fucking miserable

so it's like if you get him an actual bad present he's like whoa last year you got me this great thing and now you get me and you're like aha why did i get you last year what i get you shit would what i get you oh a really cool gift that you've returned great well hey you could return this it's like cassio watch that i got it's got a calculator on it that's pretty neat but then you know what's gonna happen is it's gonna be like when you get a kid a present and they love the box and throw the toy away you're gonna get them the shitty cassio watch he's gonna be like finally hey it's win-win that is win-win honestly right like if if maybe you know you're trying so hard to find what he wants i think you need to start trying to get what he doesn't if he's gonna like right if he's gonna

return it anyway you need to now make shopping presents for him you time in which you go and buy the most ridiculous shit buy him like the most horrendous sweater you can find. You know, get them the fucking, you know, three wolves howling at the moon airbrush shirt. I thought you were getting a bad one. Yeah, get the ones that aren't good. Yeah, go to the place that sells those and get the other jumpers. Yes. Because that one is perfect.

Actually, there we go. It's the perfect gift. Who wouldn't love that? It's really strange that we'd bring this up considering professional Japanese knife sets and a trio of wolves howling on a woolen sweater airbrushed poorly are the two traditional sexmas presents. It's true. Yeah. Honestly, I think go with like, shake it up. Go with an event.

You guys probably need to bond because this doesn't seem great. So it's like maybe that would be it. Maybe it's like time spent and like in the moment, maybe he won't be as pressured if he's like in a shop and sees a thing. You know, maybe you can make a day out of it or take a class together or something like that, as opposed to these that clearly aren't working. And if he hates that, then just be like, look, I give up. And if he's upset later, be like, cool, you just need to participate. Yeah, I need a little bit of effort on your end and if asking your your husband for effort in getting him gifts is too much for him then like yikes i hate to see what he's phoning in elsewhere in the relationship yeah yeah if this is a problem

other things probably aren't great this is suck aucka G, 21-year-old male. I've never heard of that reindeer. This girl constantly tells me, I know you have a crush on me. Come Rudolph, come Dancer, come Blitzen, come Sucka G, come Donder. Sorry, 21-year-old male, this girl constantly tells me, I know you have a crush on me. What should I do? And what might she mean? There's this girl, 21 year old female that I, a 21 year old male, haven't known for too long now. But whenever we talk, it's usually us joking and teasing one another. When we're with friends, she'll sometimes talk to them more than she does talk to me. But she acts like she

wants my attention as she subtly looks at me while doing it. And I also catch her staring sometimes. When we're joking and teasing, she gets physical sometimes by trying to hit me. Of course, playfully. She's told me a few times that she knows I have a crush on her. What should I do in this situation? How should I react? What might her saying this mean? And how is she expecting me to react?

Thanks for your help. Hey, do you? Yeah. Hey, hey, bud, do you? Do you? Because that's an important thing for us to know yeah i would love to know if you have a crush on her is she right because that's important that's very important on how this goes it depends on how which way we swing because it might have to be like

you might have to let her down softly or just keep playing into the bit but if you do like her it's it's it's important information yeah that's the thing if like she's probably she well she is teasing you in a flirty way so unless she's being like really mean and just trying to say you're kind of like wimpy or like deferential to her or just fuck with you it's like yeah she's probably flirting with you and if you do have a crush on her like this is good because you can just be like maybe i do or yeah i do or whatever or like now you prefer me more or like play with it like this is good it is an overture i worry that you're looking into things too much with the subtle glances and her talking more to other people stuff that hurt my heart a little bit but like this could be good but do you do you though do you i would say that

if you do have a crush on them this is your door that is being not only opened but sort of shoulder checked off the hinges where they are jumping through the glass and you could leap right over and follow they've given you the stronghold key card to their stronghold you're obsessed with dmz that's all you think about says mr dmz himself it's all you it's bleeding into your work now please not okay says the guy whose initials are dmz dane zalofsky dane miller zero oh that's pretty cool yeah hell yeah yeah just be like if she says i know you have a crush on me you'd be like yeah so what are you gonna do about it yeah or just be like hey if you keep talking like that i'm gonna have to take you on a date and you wash your mouth

you say one more stupid thing i take you out on a date like that's the thing you can you can play with this you'd be like now you have more of a crush on me and she'd be like i definitely don't be like all right let's go on a date and prove it we no, you have more of a crush on me. She'd be like, I definitely don't. Be like, all right, let's go on a date and prove it. We'll prove it was more of a crush on you. Like, just play with it. And it's like, if she's fucking with you, who cares? Like, whatever. Yeah.

Like, unfortunately, you raise a very good point. We need to know whether you have a crush. I went into the question again to see if there is clarification. There is not. There's not. Because if you don't this sucks because you're gonna have to be like no i actually fully do not though i don't though like i really sorry but i don't and i've been in a situation like that and it's very uncomfortable and like fair play to her

for the confidence but if you don't i have do you got to be like no i don't you're just such a great friend you're so funny you're such a good friend'm like, I've got a friend crush on you. I like the attention. So I would just let them keep crushing. But yeah, we need to know these things when you send in these questions. And also, you know, they're flirting. So play, play in that space. The thing is, it seems like they're also playing in the space.

They talk about how they tease one another and they joke around. And, you know, like, I don't know what you're looking for other than someone to be like, you're good. Yeah. Go for it. You're allowed to continue to joke in this fashion alongside the jokes you're making in other fashions. And look, we'll put it all on the table here. If you want to, if you do have a crush on them, ask them out. If you don't have a crush with them, maybe to cool it, rein it in a little bit.

Yeah. So there you go. Are you ready? We got a few, but I'm going to go with this one. This is by Mrs. Claus. Boyfriend doesn't notice little things about me. We were watching a movie and one of the people mentioned part of a healthy, healthy relationship is noticing little things and idiosyncrasies about your partner.

Also, what little things endeared them to you? I told my boyfriend a few things I noticed about him that always made me smile, like his cute head shake when he's confused about something and how he always drank his canned sodas at home with a paper straw. I lightly asked my BF what little things he noticed about me, just kind of casually to make conversation, and he froze at first. Then he just started kind of laughing and asking, what? What's wrong? I asked him again. He just kept laughing and giggling. It made me kind of sad, so I just took my dog for a walk. What gives? It's

the classic sort of like, what are you thinking about? Right? It's one of those things I'm sure there are little things that he adores about you. I find it hard to believe that anyone dating anyone doesn't have something that they'd like about them but the second you like call it out the second you're

like hey list those things uh i don't know yeah you're putting them on the spot you're also falling into that like movie logic where it's like you know this is a very rom-commy tropey thing that you're just you're kind of hoping that that moment just happens to you right there and then where it's like, you know, this is a very rom-com-y, trope-y thing that you're just, you're kind of hoping that that moment just happens to you right there and then, and it's like, it's kind of unfair. You're doing that, like, writing a script and expecting someone else to know about it. They were laughing, probably because they were nervous. Like, I don't think they were like, oh, fuck, she found out I don't know shit about her. This is so funny.

Unless what he's laughing at is the little thing that he likes, which you you know thinking that movies are real life maybe and it's just like oh there she goes again i love it and she's like maybe maybe that's it but yeah now that's right like you've unfairly set this person up to fail because you heard that and then you thought about it and then you formulated the things that that you like about him and then once you had all that loaded in the canon you asked him so it's not like you know it wasn't like the second it happened on screen you were like oh i wonder and you guys worked it out together because that's that's one thing but like no you you probably thought about it you and then like you wanted an answer as cute as yours or as cute as the one that happened on the show. And that's just not the way that life works because there isn't a team of writers writing it.

Yeah. Also, you very specifically. And this really pinged for me in the question. I asked him what he thought about the little things about me just casually making. You weren't casually making conversation and you know it and you decided to say that because you're lying to our fucking faces mrs claus no one just says oh i was just casually making if you were you didn't need to say it and if you were casual you wouldn't be now making a big deal about it on fucking reddit would you be would you be would you be yeah no one has a casual conversation that ends on

with them storming out with their dog right your partner not being enthralled by the fact that you drink soda at home with a paper straw which like i don't think that's what they mean in the fucking movies either by the way like that's not what makes a good relationship if your partner is kind and attentive etc etc cetera, et cetera. Those are the important things. Not like grilling them one day and being like, list two cute things now. Yeah. Oh, you don't notice that when I get shy or nervous that I twirl my hair with my left finger?

Wow. Okay. Like, just take a breath. If this is the only problem you really should be, you're good. Yeah, you're fine. You put them on the spot. You were hoping for a rom-com moment, which is unrealistic. If there are other issues, talk about those.

If you really want it, like if this is something that kind of like, you know, you're thinking about and you're going to be stewing on, tell them. Be like, hey. So remember that other day we were watching a movie and they said something about, you know, the small things. A good relationship has small things. That's why I asked you that question. I thought of the ones that I thought about you and I thought it'd be cute. So I'm sorry I got all worked up and kind of stormed

out. I was just hoping for a cute answer and I understand that putting you on the spot was unfair. And if that was me, if I was on the receiving end of that, I would now kind of feel like I would like to return the favor, right? Yeah, but maybe you have the time end of that, I would now kind of feel like I would like to return the favor. Right. Yeah. But maybe you have the time to do it when you're not under the clock.

Yes. Because now I know that that's what you were looking for. And now knowing that it's important to you, I'll put a little bit more effort into it. Because if you did, as you say, just casually mention it, there's not a whole lot of weight on that. You know, just casually mentioning things doesn't make me feel like it means anything or that there's any sort of weight or importance for you. So, you know, if I can't think of anything, it's nothing. I, you know, it's no sweat off our backs because it's a casual thing as you've proclaimed it, which it's obviously not. So I think it's important to like revisit conversations like this and explain your intentions, because if it does actually mean more than what you originally thought after, you know, going through this, then I think it's important to be like, Hey, this is why I did that. And then hopefully your partner will pick up on the importance of it or

the weight of it and be like, okay, thanks for letting me know. Here are some things. I also think it's unfair to kind of be upset at someone like this and not let them know. Yes. So if you're apologizing, which I think you should, you know, I don't think it's a big dramatic, like, blah, blah, blah. But I think you can be like, I'm sorry. The other day I was doing, you know doing you know exactly what just dane said and then you're kind of being like look you're explaining where maybe the weird feeling came from at that moment because i'm sure they weren't oblivious to you storming out your dog you know what i mean and that sucks to be the partner who's like wait what did i do wrong like yeah what the fuck just happened yeah so and then as dane said it puts it in their minds they can think about they know it's important it's great this is that's a good positive thing so do that and don't rom-com ambush people yeah

you're also setting up for future conversations to go the same way because he's now going to be guessing what you're looking for when you do this again the next time right like so the next time you know fucking hugh grant tells you the secret to love. You know, the guy's gonna be like, oh, fuck, last time I got the answer wrong, and now she's gonna take her dog for a walk, please. Hugh Grant, why did you do this to me? Don't you, oh my god, you said hi to me? Don't you know, you have to

have me at hello, but you said hi. So now we can't do that. So our relationship's a fucking sham. You're just constantly walking around with a stack of papers, hoping you crash into each other? You're always, every every day you're outside your own apartment with the fucking boards from love actually with things written on them but they're never the right things but also the song you're playing is the song that's at the end of say anything that peter gabriel song that he's holding over his head yeah just every final climax of every romantic comedy just in one thing and being like

every time she goes on holidays she's so pissed you don't run to her at the airport what the fuck dave it's like i couldn't you were through security that didn't stop that small child from love actually when he did his cool gymnastics. Have you seen that deleted scene? No. There's a deleted scene where the child runs to the airport to accost his child lover. And I guess I don't even think it's in the movie anymore where he's like apparently a gymnastics prodigy. But like he does all these sick gymnastic tricks through the airport and managed to get to her like as

they're boarding so he gymnastics his way through security but the best part is and i might be misremembering this but i don't think i am is that like because it never made the final cut the scene still has a stand-in who's doing the tricks who's like a fully sized adult so he'll do a trick and then it'll cut to like this six foot man doing backflips and cut back to this child. It's fucking great. Hell yeah. I mean, this might have been pre 2001. So this might be the, you know, a pre 9-11 world where you could do six gymnastics through an airport and no one would really give a shit.

No, you can't. No, terrorism ruined everything. Okay. No, then definitely can't do it. Can we do on the topic of sex miss and and movies christmas movies love actually is one of the worst movies and as what it's not though do you like love actually i do i love love actually it's such a bad movie i watch it with my sister every year it's great it's horrible i have a warm place in my heart because I watch you and my sister every year.

Okay, that's fine. But as a sex and dating, as award-winning sex and dating show, I feel like we need to say that literally everyone in that movie is the worst. So the funny thing is that's what they set out to do. He wanted to look at relationships in a way that wasn't your typical rom-com bullshit. And yeah, did he overshoot and make it a little grimdark? Yeah, but what he wanted to say was like, this is what love is, actually. It's messy. A lot of the time it sucks.

A lot of the time it is garbage people doing garbage things. Meh. And you know what? The porn actors' relationship is pretty cute. They're the only ones that are that are good um but tell me snape doesn't make you cry every time you watch it when he does all that mean stuff to that poor lady this is his snape origins it's all because of fucking lily potter bitch um but like a lot of people think that movie is romantic like a lot of people think

that rick grimes is a romantic man. Yeah, I don't like the thing is, I think part of also why I love it is that like, again, for me, it is purely like a nostalgia thing. I don't go, oh, damn, this this movie is amazing. I definitely don't think it's fucking romantic. Grimes character is awful. Actually, yeah, I know. But he him and Snape kind of take the biscuit. And I'm only saying that because i'm sure there are so many worse things i'm not even thinking of right now my favorite line in that

movie is when liam neeson goes to visit his sister who i believe is emma thompson and his wife has just died and she's like get over it well what it's his first christmas without his wife and he's not even like complaining or anything like he's not it's not like he's like moping around or crying or anything he just kind of like casually mentions that like oh this is a difficult time of year and she's like you're a bitch like okay fucking yeah relax yeah it's pretty it's pretty garbage in a lot of ways i actually do kind of like the rock star guy and his manager who like their climax is just they they have a really bro-y christmas together it's kind of nice okay i i don't really remember

that one that was their love actually they love each other they were really best friends and this is the one like this is this is also hugh grant is like the president or the prime minister and he's like sexually harassing his cleaner. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's the movie.

Anyway, it's always just funny to me that like a lot of people think that Love Actually is this like super sweet, heartwarming movie. And I'm just like, no, these are all bad people doing terrible things to each other. Fucking banger soundtrack though. That's the thing. I think it's hard for anything to happen to that music and not seem romantic. But yes, believe me, I agree. I think it's time for some t happen to that music and not seem romantic. But yes, believe me, I agree. I think it's time for some tindies. This is nameless, so it's going to be Rudolph's brother, Randolph. It is a lady. I'm newly 40. I am married. I love my husband and I'm not looking

to leave him. He has some physical issues, so I haven't been laid in over seven years. I'm 5'7", 215 pounds. I am not looking for a relationship i just want to get railed don't message me if you don't want to do this i'm tired of dudes sending me dirty messages and then ghosting when i ask about meeting up i want to hook up in real life i need some dick i mean it's a zero right unless my caveat here is unless the husband is cool with it and they've talked about it and he's like yes i cannot perform for whatever reason you are unsatisfied i'm cool with you finding sexual satisfaction elsewhere at that i assume it's not because there's no indication of that so i'm going to assume that this is a behind the back shitty situation i'm gonna say it's a zero because i i think it's an

unforgivable thing to do so that's i like i won't even go into the nuances of everything else i think just you know cheating on your partner because of health reasons yeah is is terrible and also it's like if that is the case why do you need to put in all the other things right like if you are if you do have this agreement i don't think you need to go into all the other shit. You could just be like, hey, whatever. But no, it's bad. You seem like a bad person. Yeah. This is Lindsay.

Not into games, but I like Uno. Oh, and Monopoly is kind of fun. Not a big fan of drama. Crime is more my thing. Then they have their Instagram account. No, not an influencer. I have like five followers. I'm earthy and witty, looking for meaningful connection.

I like day trips, the outdoors, boating, fishing, sports, GAA, etc. I like to plan fun things. What's GAA? It's Irish, like Gaelic football. Oh. Faves include organic fair trade coffee, candles, camping, plants, advocacy, nature, reading, social work, crafts, Ed Sheeran, sports, farmer's market. Okay.

I like it. I didn't think i was going to about 20 in again i always find it weird it's like i'm i'm earthy and whizzy it's like i understand you're earthy by all the other shit and it's like unfortunately it's not for you to say that you're witty so unnecessary but uh i do appreciate the fact that you actually tell me things about you i know what you like. That's sadly rare. Yes. Yeah.

I mean, we get, uh, there's, there's no, like, this is, these are the things that I, we always say, right? Like there's no, there's no list of things that they hate. No list of things that they're not looking for. They're just saying like, here are the things I'm into. Here are my interests. Here are things that I like. That's a way more positive spin.

Again, I would say this, this profile itself on its own, like a six. But in comparison to other profiles and the general vibe of online dating these days, I'm bumping it up to like a seven or eight. Because it's just a clean profile. For me. And it should be. This should be a six, I think. Because we should be at like just a list of what you like

is is kind of the bare minimum right but it's so fucking shit that that's not the case so yeah i'm gonna give it an eight yeah it's good to know it's good to know these things they also they're also an addiction specialist so like obviously they care about people which is just a little extra tidbit in there but yes they, they're, they're cool. This is Lara. Hardworking, motivated and passionate about building my business, but will make time for good food and good conversation. Hopeless romantic, getting increasingly more hopeless.

Small talk bores me. Quick wit captures my attention. Your mother will love me. Gluten tolerant, but steak intolerant. Okay. Okay. All of those things are just like one very forgettable because I've already can't remember what pinged for me.

But a lot of it is like, what are you trying to say? Like gluten tolerant, but steak intolerant. Is that your way of saying you're a vegan or vegetarian? I guess it's saying that you're a vegan or vegetarian while trying to dump on people who have gluten intolerance. Like, yeah, like there just seems to be like everything seems to be paired with like a negative. Like hardworking, motivated.

OK, again, I kind of expect those things. You know what I mean? Like you saying that doesn't really excite me because like I don't want to work with them. It's like barely work. Don't give a fuck. Like, you know what I mean? No one's really looking for that. Passion building my business i think is actually a red

flag for me i feel like it's a very douchey term i guess it depends on like what the business is i but i feel like if it's not something douchey you'd probably put it in there yeah i feel like generic business is always shit you know what i mean no one's like oh passionate about building my business like oh what is this like oh i run a puppy shelter it's like what you'd be like oh i run a shelter for puppies right where's like passionate about building my business it's an mlm or it's like their mom bought them a fucking condo that they rent to somebody you know yeah like i or a pyramid scheme it's our bond well it's an mlm right no i don't know what that is yeah it's it's that's exactly what i meant and then getting increasingly more hopeless.

Fuck off. Small talk bores me. Like, actually fuck off. People and their weird thing against small talk, it's like, if there's no small talk, we all fail as humans. We stop working. I understand it from a little bit from an online dating point of view of like the, hi, how are you?

How was your day? Good. How was your day? Good. What did you do? Work do worked like i get really small talk it's bad talk because it's like small talk is arguably anything right it's like oh how's your you know how was your day i think has a place in this sure you yeah like i know what you mean but i don't think that's what they mean because it's very much like don't ask me blah blah blah blah, blah. I want to connect. Yeah.

The moving of the planets is like you don't fucking want that. If you're just saying, oh, I don't want people to have bullshit, boring conversations with me again. Yeah, that's the standard. No one wants that. Yeah, I don't need to be told that that's not something you're into. Yeah. Anyway, this is like a fucking one for me. Yeah, I'm going to do two.

This is Lauren. Whoa, Facebook is dating. It's worth me. Yeah, I'm going to do two. This is Lauren. Whoa, Facebook has dating? It's worth a try, right? I'm a hair colorist in Toronto. Currently in a relationship with myself, so you have pretty steep competition. BBW, 420 friendly. I'm looking for someone to help me paint my nails, change the light bulb in my ceiling light, listen to me go on

about how cute my cats are, watch movies, and cuddle. I'm looking for potential, so if you're looking for a one-off, I'm not interested. Peace. Like, symbol, emoji. Give me a reason to leave the city or stay. Is this the best Facebook dating profile you've found? This is, so far, a pretty good one.

Um, it's fine. Yeah. I forgot something pinged at the start, and I forget what it was. The relationship with myself, so you have to be, you have pretty sweet competition yeah i thought that was actually very funny and positive and like playful i liked that i don't love and this might just be me but i don't love the bbw tag well i didn't like that i wasn't really sure how to comment on that i i feel like it's got a lot of fetish attached to it yeah and i understand that you might be saying that just to make it clear that you are a larger woman and you know

you but like you have pictures like their their profile has pictures that clearly show their body and show what they look like right there's no misleading pictures here you know what i was going to say it's up to them like if they want to like if they want to attach that label themselves and get behind that while i do agree that yes it does have all these kink and like sexualization like connotations and fetishization blah blah but like it's up to them but i take that back because she specifically says she wants something serious and i don't think that tag is synonymous with that i think she's working against herself in that way yeah and but i think you bring up a really

really good point of being like i'm putting that out there but at the end of the day if if that is a tag they want to attribute to themselves and they understand the the connotations to it and that's still something they've chosen to put on their profile by all means you know it's not my place to say that it doesn't work it's just something to think about and the only thing that like kind of put me off balance on there was the second i see that i feel like people are going to read that and and their mind is going to go to a certain place and if if you don't want their mind to go to that place, I don't think removing it would have any impact.

If you're cool with people going to that place, or if you want to direct them to that place, then fine. But I think it's important to know. It does seem different to, I'm looking for something serious, not like one off. I think it runs counter to that.

But again, if you're comfortable with that, that's fine. It's just, as you said, something I think worth considering. But I'm going to put it at a seven because I think it's positive. It's light. It's fun. The things you list that like you're looking for, I think are fun. And like, I haven't seen someone be like help changing my ceiling light while it's kind of mundane. It's, it's a breath of fresh air because it's not like I'm looking for honest and responsible and good conversation.

You know, it's like, it's okay. That was a list that I haven't read before. And that's nice. Just like immediately makes me feel good. Also. Wasn't one being like,

help me paint my nails or something. Yeah. That's refreshing. That's funny. Uh, all right. That's it. I guess that's it I guess

That's us Thank you very much for listening It has been a pleasure We hope you have had an excellent holiday season If your holiday is still going or hasn't happened yet We hope you have a great one We will see you in the new year No we'll have one more before the new year

We will No we won't This comes out on Monday right There will be No, we'll have one more before the new year. We will. Right? No, we won't. No, we won't. We won't. This comes out on Monday, right? There will be. There will be a pillow talk, which will be our New Year's episode. Yeah. So I was going to say, if you want to get us a birthday present, there's no better way

to do it than to join the Patreon. We have a bunch of levels. We love you guys. Please go over and check it out. Patreon.com forward slash F buddies podcast or just F buddies. Patreon.com forward slash F buddies podcaster just f buddies patreon.com forward slash f buddies and we would really appreciate it if you can't do that we understand we are totally cool with that we would love for you to rate us write us a review share us with a friend

download everything we've ever done multiple times you know boost us up those charts no but for real we love you guys i will say that the new year's episode last year, we did a like a year in review. We used a lot of like Pornhub stats, which was was really fun and insightful. So if you want to get on board us dissecting the sexual climate of the world, this might be a great time to join the Patreon and see what that episode's all about. Yeah. All right. I'm going to hit you with some bad sex writing after I thank Josh Eagle and the Harvest Cities for some paper stars and tell everyone to head over to our website and throw us a question if they want so I can stop getting them from all these horny, horny reindeers. So this was posted on a Facebook group about motherhood.

Okay. Mothers who breastfeed boy babies need to stop. We need to empower more females in this world. And by breastfeeding them, we're giving them a good start in life, which they deserve over baby boys who are already physically stronger than baby girls. I have feminist views. I'm not ashamed to admit that, but no baby boy will ever be fed from my breasts if I'm unfortunate enough to have one. Damn. Hey lady, do you know that men are killing themselves at an exponential rate to the point where it's practically a pandemic? I don't know if this energy of raising a boy who immediately feels rejected and unworthy of sustenance is the way to raise a kid.

I hope, I pray that you don't have a male baby. I pray that she doesn't have any babies. Cause like you're a bad person. You're not just bad to dudes. It's like you're no, just no. Yeah. Bad,

gross, terrible. My name is Dave Miller. I'm now Spain. We've been your fuck buddies. Merry sexmas. Merry sexmas. Merry sexmas. Merry Sextus.