F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 227 - Still Don’t Change Your Guns

Episode Date: February 6, 2023

Have we finally found the stinky zombie car crash boyfriend?  We may never know.  Topics include no sex till dating, an all-day tease-a-thon, strong candidate for most garbage human of the year, first time struggles, anti-vax ick, Niall reinstates Dain's hangover.

I put my trust in you, and I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. I put my trust in you, and I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. Hello friends, my name is Dane Miller. And I'm Niall Spain. And we're your fuck buddies. We are a dating and sex advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations and turn them into sexy, sticky situations award-winningly.

Award-winningly, we put, we are a sex advice podcast. We find questions either roaming in the wild on the internet, or we get them from our wonderful listeners such as yourself. We answer them right here as a team, award-winningly also. And then we poach them illegally. Hmm? We poach them? The questions that we find roaming the wilds. You're not meant to tell people. We've been denying

that for years. We don't have the license to hunt on the king's land. There's no king on the internet not anymore. We don't recognize his authority there's a game that's like that where it's like you have to collect materials and stuff but if a guard catches you hunting you get in a bunch of trouble skyrim i don't think so i'm incredibly hungover well i'm not incredibly hungover i'm now just entering into regular hung hangover state

dang dang dang we're professionals I cannot believe you do this. Uh-huh. I cannot believe you do this. Well, I did. I've spent three years being completely sober for every episode, never hungover. I believe there is an episode somewhere where you were at a work party and you came in and you were. That's a joke. There's an episode I can't remember.

I mean, to be fair, I edit all these and I don't remember any of them. Yeah, but that's just due to your special brain and not a lot of alcohol. They go into my mind palace where they live forever. Wouldn't we call it a palace? I feel like you'd be able to find things in a palace. No, it's so big. Oh, it's just so big and grand. It's not just a jumbled dirt mess.

Yeah, that's that's my life. No, true. You ready for a question? I guess. Yeah, my boy working donut 82 is hitting us with. Actually, I don't even know if it's my boy or my girl or my anything else. So I'm just going to say working donut 82 says, is it unreasonable not to date people who have had sexual relationships outside relationship, had sexual relations outside relationships. Basically had that conversation with a friend

of mine. Personally, if someone I date told me about sexual relationships outside relationships, friends with benefits, hookups, et cetera, it would be negative for me. At the end, it all boils down to similar definitions of sexual intimacy sex outside relationship sounds rather unattractive to me and of course i never had huckups slash friends with benefits after that conversation with a friend and his reaction i'm not sure if that's an unreasonable thing you sound like a lot of fun you do sound quite fun i wonder why you haven't had many huckups We're starting judgy and I'm okay with it. Oh, this is going to be the like, this is going to be my catty mean girls episode where I'm going to unleash the pain that's in my head. Miller unmasked.

Yeah. Look, we've talked about it a bunch of times. Don't judge people for how they want to live their lives. And if it's something that you don't like fine you're wrong like you're just straight wrong i know we can talk about you know ethics and opinions and everything but the idea that sex should only be between two people in an exclusive monogamous relationship and anyone who has sex outside of that parameter is a negative is stupid it's dumb it is it is and like even if you want to you can look at it very many ways like firstly you're kind of devaluing anybody who has

non-monogamous relationships right so like i'm sure polyamory doesn't sit well with this person and it's just like that's just a wild stance to begin with anyway, just being like everything else is void and shit and wrong. But secondly, it's like it's weirder and harder to get a sexual relationship, like to wait until you're in a relationship to get one. Most people will get into one after seeing someone for a while, after having sex with them, after doing all these things. So it's like societally the odds are there that someone would have sex before they're in a relationship. So it's like, is it unreasonable? Yeah, I think it kind of is because I think you're setting yourself up for failure because the majority of people have had sex outside of actual committed relationships, even if it later becomes one. Yeah, the idea of also not having sex with someone you're about to enter into a relationship with, like I would never, ever date someone that I hadn't slept with.

Of course not. Because sex is a big part of relationships. It's a big part of, you know, what I value. You know, like I want to have a really, really good sexual relationship with my partner. And I want to make sure the sexual chemistry is there. I want to make sure that we chemistry is there i want to make sure that we're compatible i want to make sure that you know that it's good imagine getting into a relationship and finally finding someone that you really like and then the sex is bad and then having to be like hey you suck in bed so i'm gonna leave now i've wasted a lot of time and effort and we're both like emotionally on the

hook now, but I have to break up with you because this sucks. Yeah. You're bad at blowjobs or whatever. Yeah. Or the alternative is also just being like, well, this is my life.

I found a person I like the sex is terrible, but what else, what else can I do? And then you live a unfulfilling sexual life for as long as you're with that person. A hundred percent. Yeah. And and it's like in a lot of cases it's not even just bad sex as in like oh i don't feel great it can be bad as in dangerous or like unsafe or toxic or you know what i mean and these are things you need to know like if you're with someone who disrespects your boundaries or is aggressive or violent or any of these things and you're in a fucking relationship with them it's so much harder to leave that situation

and you've got the sunk cost fallacy etc etc and they've got way more access into your life too so it's like it's just like you're wrong just the fact that like life should be spontaneous and fun so if you're on vacation you run into someone someone, you find, you know, you have that, like that spark, that little, you know, every now and then something comes along and you just have to have someone like you're going to be like, nope, not for me. Yeah. Or you do. And then you're a hypocrite. You know what I mean? Like, and that just seems so fun.

Those flings, especially like holiday flings. They're great. They're so great. People write movies about that shit. They're so great. So I just like great way to learn yourself too. Right? Like understanding who you are as a sexual person comes through experience and expression.

And if you have given yourself, you know know you have a whole fucking playground but instead you've chosen like one one little square foot in the very back behind some bushes and you haven't experienced the rest of the fucking playground like what are you doing and also hey fuck it if this is what you want to do by all means but to then turn what you personally choose to do as a judgment call against other people. Yeah. Nah, man. That's not it.

That's not it. Especially one that's so rigid and so far out of pocket. You know what I mean? Like the idea that you want to find someone who feels the exact same way, who has never had a one night stand, who has never hooked up, who's never had friends with benefits and has only had sex in relationships the fact that you're looking for that and you're going to you know put your nose up and be like all snooty about it if they have done any of those things you're gonna be living a long sad sexless lonely life yeah honestly the odds are against you again like look if that's something you personally want to do that's fine i don't agree you know what i mean i don't think it's the best way to do things but like if you're not hurting anybody else and that's just the thing you want to do great but when you start to judge

people do all that yeah you kind of are hurting other people but secondly it's like you're gonna fuck yourself over so hard because as dane said you're reducing your own personal dating pool massively. And after that, are you going to fuck yourself over by, oh, you do find somebody who's finally fits this bill that you're looking for. And it's been, you know, one person after 30 who've all had even just one one night stand that you can't even be near. So now what are you going to do? Choose this person who's not great just because they fit that one thing? Probably. Or are you going to go back and wait for another 30 people to go by? Yeah. It's an extreme version of people who are looking for, who are just like, I need a boyfriend. And then we'll latch on to anyone who gives them attention initially.

You've now set the parameters so low that you're going to be even more likely to end up in a bad relationship because you found someone who fits the very very narrow specific parameters that you're looking for and it's like again as now said if that's what you want to do sure but you're probably going to be unhappy and very unsatisfied and even then i meant more like if you personally do not want to have sex unless you're in a relationship sure whatever i think you can set your preferences however you like i still don't think it's a great idea but whatever but it's when you start to judge people and only date them in these ways and i think you're harming both yourself and you're kind of being slut shamey to others

as well. A hundred percent. So I just, I wish we could like take whatever is like causing this weird, like ick for you and just jettison it away. Cause you would be a lot happier in your life. Cause I think you'd be more open to fun sexual experiences and more importantly, be more open to other people, like a lot more other people i don't think i've ever met someone who's only had sex and relationships no so like you just wouldn't

like no one i know you could go out with and i know some really fucking great people so that sucks for you that's the thing right like how many great people are you passing upon the option of exploring a life together with because of this. And at the end of the day, that's what it comes down to. And once again, I'll reiterate what I said at the very beginning. You're wrong. Yeah. This is listen to this.

Yo. Okay. I will. Would this be too out there to do to my husband? I'm going to say yes. It's going to be one of two ways. It's either the most basic thing. It's like, would it be out there to make him coffee in the morning? Or it's like, what if I hide something in his butt while he's sleeping and we turn it into a fun treasure hunt?

What if I hit him as hard as I can with a pair of skis? A pair of skis? What? Pardon? That's not what I said. My husband has an off day this Friday. So I think it's the perfect day to do what I always. My husband has an off day this Friday, so I think it's the perfect day to do what I always fantasized and edge him all day.

I was thinking initiating sex in the morning, getting him real hard, but not going forward with PIV. Then, as he chills around home and I'm running errands, I send him nudes and sex and tell him he absolutely cannot come until I get back home. Maybe even call in to check in on him. Tell him to send me a picture of his dick to make sure he's still hard and hasn't taken care of himself yet.

If anyone has more ideas on how to edge him without actually being there, that'd be great. Then I'd purposely get home at night, tell him to sit down. Then this is the part I'm nervous about. I'd stand on the couch, standing on the outside of his legs, with my ass in his face, and tell him to eat me out. But not allowing him to touch me at all. And after a while, I'd lean over and give him a blowjob upside down very, very slowly with my pussy still in his face. I've never done anything like this, but this fantasy turns me on so much. I'd love to try it, but I'm so intimidated though.

Is it a good idea? And then edit. So for the first time, I'm going to shorten the timeframe from all day to a few hours. And I should clarify time, I'm going to shorten the time frame from all day to a few hours. And I should clarify, I'm not going to leave him hanging with no explanation. Definitely going to tell him that there's more to come and to wait for me before leaving home. Okay. I have some concerns. Firstly, it's your fantasy, not his. And he is going to be the one in the lurch. So I think discussing it and you did say, oh, I won't,

you know, do it without explanation, but it's like, there's a difference between doing something being like, oh, I'll, you know, you will come later and having a full discussion about how like,

Hey, I would like to edge you all day. Is that cool? Yes. So that's my first concern is like, great that you have this, but if you just kind of go into this without his consent, it's probably going to really suck for him unless that's specifically what he's into so i think you definitely need to broach this subject uh and get consent enthusiastic consent

too yeah maybe maybe you don't understand how dicks work but if you're asking for pictures while you're away at work during the day to make sure his dick is still hard that's not how it works his dick will remain hard no matter how horny he is for like a little bit and then it'll go away whether or not he takes care of himself or not he's not going to sustain a boner all day and if he does he needs to seek medical help you're gonna get home to a dead husband. Yeah, yeah. So like just so that, you know, you're aware because I don't want this to

turn into a, oh, so you didn't jerk off. No. Why aren't you hard right now? What? You're lying. Like just a massive misunderstanding. That's not a word, but you know, of dicks. So that is very important.

Did you say understandation? I did say understandation. Nice. Misunderstanding, I think, is what I was going for. Yeah, that's definitely a word. Yeah, but who could tell? Who could tell? Not me.

Not me. So those are my two big ones. I like that you're excited to do something sexy. I like that you want to be in control. I like that you have this, you know, daring to you scenario where you get like eaten out from behind a blow him where you're like, oh, I'm going to make sure that he understands the situation, that it is a thorough explanation of what's to come. And obviously you don't have to give a play-by-play of everything, but I think you do, as Nell said, I think you do have to be like, hey, today I'm going to tease you all day,

and then at the end of the day, you're going to get a reward. Or something, right? Let him know day you're gonna get a reward or something right like let him know that i would i wouldn't even cruel i wouldn't even say i would just be like hey like i wouldn't say what i'm gonna do i would ask and not maybe specifically like hey tomorrow but in general just be like i have this fantasy of like edging you for like an extended period of time before we like really get down to it like are you okay with that because some people really like a tease and an edge and some people fucking hate it especially if it goes on too long like i've been in situations where someone's like i'm gonna tease

you and it's hot but they don't understand when it stops like you know diminishing returns when it stops becoming hot and starts becoming like okay this actually fucking sucks which is you know i appreciate that again in the edit they were like i'm gonna do it bro instead of all day to a few hours yes i think that that's way more effective yeah that is a great uh way to enter into this because if he does you know if you guys do get hot and heavy in the morning and then you're like, actually, no, I got to go to the bank. And then you go to the bank and, you know, you get back an hour or whatever after doing some errands and then you finish off. I think that is a great test, a litmus test to be like, are you actually into this? Is this something that you're enjoying?

Because then you could turn it into an all day thing. Right. And then it could become a thing of like when he's at work, can send him sexy pictures and being like lead him on that way and the same thing where like you know these days where he has off it can become a i wouldn't overdo it but it could be a fun way to depending on how long you've been together spice things up a little bit i think that i think it's a great idea i think it's uh again as as niles mentioned as long as it is something that he's also going to be enjoying i know you're concerned about this ass in the face thing but i think as long as you figured out the logistics of it because your description of it really doesn't make a whole lot of sense so

i don't know how you're going to be doing it but like you either need to be very flexible very tall maybe both or like he'd have to be almost off the couch yeah so i would maybe practice standing on the couch first because i don't think you realize how much uh balance it takes to stand on squishy seats with you know people moving and like you say hopefully coming really hard yeah i would say maybe let them hold on to you for stability because the last thing you want to do is your knees buckle because your your husband's, you know, doing his job right and you go fucking face first to the glass coffee table. Mm hmm.

So, you know, just just think safety measures here, maybe bend over the couch and let him, you know, like sort of get on his knees and go to town from behind that way. I would just try out this whole standing on the couch thing when you're by yourself first to see if you're like, Ooh, no, actually this is a good way to break my neck. But other than that, I hope, I hope you have a great time. I hope this works out for both of you and hope you've added a little bit of extra something, something to the,

the monotony that you might have fallen into. And even if you don't like even if you don't have monotony, you could still spice things up. Yeah, that's the best part is like you don't have to be bored to to get more exciting. If you're exciting, you can get a uh, this post because it's like, you want, like, I want a partner who does like, that's something I look for in a partner or somebody who takes your sex life and wants to make it novel and adventurous. And like, I think there were people out there who would never think of like, oh, my partner has a day off.

Let's turn it into a sexy day. You know, like I think it's wonderful. So, you know, just make sure you get consent and make sure it's something they're into as well and learn a little bit about boners and you're good to go. And then maybe once you've done this for you, ask him if he has any fantasies and maybe you guys can just do like, like a, you know, a monthly or a weekly fantasy swap thing where one month it's, it's her turn to tease you and yada yada and do whatever she wants to do and then maybe you have the maybe you like the idea of like you know tying her to the bedpost

and and like going down on her like teasing her or whatever you know i think this is a great way to open the door into more variations of play and i don't think that you should just check this off your list and be like, we did it. Yeah. I think this is a great sort of like gateway into a more playful and explorative. Exploratory. Exploratory. We're good with words today.

We are very good. Our wordage is. Yeah. A more exploratory sexual relationship. So good luck. Oh, yeah. This is by a deleted user. The guy, male 26, I'm dating, female 18, got into a huge fight on first date.

How to move forward. So I met this guy, I'll name him Ben for the sake of this post, on Plenty of Fish. We would talk back and forth on the phone for about a week before he asked me to a date, which I accepted. We were to have dinner and see a movie. He picked me up, and while we made our way to the restaurant, there was a guy driving next to us, and it made it seem like he wanted to race. I'm assuming from the type of car he and Ben had. I'm not big on car, but I know they were both sporty type. Long story short, the other guy beat him, and I laughed. Not at Ben, but because the mini race was fun. Ben must have assumed I was laughing at him, and from there, he treated me rude.

I feel like from the beginning, he would do things to try to impress me, like talk how much money he made, his job, how many girls he dated slash slept with. You know, things that aren't appropriate to talk about with a girl you're trying to get with, but whatever. He would act very condescending, like he was really overcompensating for something. I brushed it off. At dinner, as we were leaving to the car and having a conversation, I forgot to tie her deep, but I remember him saying something to the effect of, yeah, like you want to suck that guy's dick from a road, referring to the guy he raced and lost to.

I asked him to take him home because he was being rude and I didn't want to continue the date. He got upset, shoved me against the car passenger door and screamed me in my face, told me he was going to make me feel stupid and embarrassed

like I supposedly tried to make him. Before leaving me in the parking lot, he put his hand up my shirt and groped my breasts. I did feel very stupid afterward. I request a lift and went home. Yesterday, he texted me, happy Thanksgiving, and asked to see me because he wanted to apologize for his behavior. I met up with him this morning before work, and he basically said I made him feel some type of way.

Basically, his ego was bruised. I apologized for making him feel that way. He said he wants a do-over. I agreed, but what can I do to ensure something like this doesn't happen between us again? Don't go see him again! Yeah. can i do to ensure something like this doesn't happen between us again don't go see him again yeah like i'm sorry but you were sexually assaulted because you made a dude's ego feel bad because he lost a shitty street race and what i can only imagine is like a 1997 honda civic because this is the kind of energy this man is giving. Like, no, don't go see him again. It's been one date and he's running out of red flags to tick.

And some of them are life in jail flags. Yeah. Like the ones remaining, which again, there aren't many. This guy is absolute garbage trash. Never see him again. And like, I don't even want to talk. Like, I don't want to get into sort of, you know, dissecting this because I don't think there to talk like I don't want to get into sort of you know dissecting this because I don't think there's anything to dissect I think it is

straight up this guy's a bad person he assaulted you and his reasoning was you made me feel bad because you think that if you get in a relationship with this guy that there isn't going to be a time where you don't accidentally make him feel bad

again and like hey even if you had been trying to make him feel bad this wouldn't be okay and by any stretch of the imagination but you literally were enjoying this dumb stupid thing he was doing so just know like that's the thing there's no gray here yeah the fact that you even talk to him after this is crazy let alone meeting up with him again let alone agreeing to a second date what are you doing please delete tell him be like hey sorry no or don't just block him you know i mean like just be done with him you do not deserve this no one deserves it if anything, the dude should have a fucking criminal history after that. He sexually assaulted you in a parking lot after

dinner because you laughed. Yeah. This guy's like other irredeemable piece of shit. Do not go on another date with him. Yeah, it's literally only going to end with you getting hurt. Yeah. So no. Sorry. I know that one's shitty, but it just

breaks my heart when we see these ones that are like here's a giant red flag what do i do next it's like you you run yeah no i think it's it's important every now and then to just be like not good behavior should not be rewarded with second chances yeah um this is from canadian boy i a 16 year old male think i hurt my partner, a 16-year-old female, during sex. So my partner and I have been dating for nearly a year and decided we were both ready for the next step. We tried to have sex, but she told me that it burned when we tried missionary and all other positions. We tried to do a riding position and we could get it all the way in, but we had to immediately stop because it hurt her. When I asked what type of pain it was, she said it was a stretchy

burning pain. I don't know what I'm doing wrong or if there'd be anything i could do to fix it i have tried using lots of lube in case that was the issue but still no luck what could the problem be and how can we fix it okay lube was going to be on my list yeah uh it is very possibly vaginismus yep which has varying do i want to say symptoms because symptoms seem more like something else. But associated signs. Effects? Yeah. Yeah.

And, like, she would need to go see a gynecologist and a doctor and try to work on it in that way if that was the case. It also could just be, like, despite lube, it's, like, if she's very nervous or uncomfortable, like like all the lube in the world isn't really going to fix anything. Um, I will say, I applaud the fact that you, you know, have the wherewithal to use lube. Cause I'm pretty sure there are people above the age of 16.

We've had questions from that haven't. So fair play. You have a decent head in your shoulders and stopping when yes and caring and posting and asking so like all good signs from what i'm seeing um so that's good yeah the tough thing about being this age is as now said going to a gynecologist would be my first step and my first my first advice but i know a lot of people this age are nervous uh they also probably have to book with their parents and having to explain why you want to go. It might be awkward or uncomfortable.

But I would say that, like, this is something that you should take control of. I think your sexual health and I hope, you know, parents are fucking weird, but it might be worth even like kind of making something up to get an appointment and then i know that usually that once you're alone in the room you can like bring it up to your doctor hopefully there's a bit of privacy hopefully your parents aren't there i don't really know how it works when you're that age unfortunately um i don't know if it also depends on the parent and practitioner you know what i mean yes exactly so there's some other things um as we know there is uh what we call hymen it is a like a membrane that covers the vaginal opening um a lot of people think of it as barrier to be broken through but it is

in reality a much a much more complex uh For example, some people's hymen is barely like, almost like a crescent moon. Some people's covers the entire vaginal opening. So it really depends also on what her hymen looks like and how that is. So I think starting with other things like fingers would be a great way. Smaller toys would also be a good way because those are things that you don't need to then worry about, like remaining hard or you have a little bit more dexterity and a bit more ways to like alter angles and stuff to see what's working and what's hurting.

And if anything does feel good and just take it really slow, explain to her that you're on her side, which it seems like you've made apparent this first time and be like, we're going to work through it together. And the second anything feels bad, we'll stop. If there's something that feels better or good, we'll push forward and we won't do anything you don't want to do. And I will listen

to you so you tell me if you want me to go a little harder if you want me to go a little softer a little slower faster and we'll work together and see if you can't sort of troubleshoot it with something outside of sex because you're young presumably this is both your first time nerves never help any situation no so especially not this one where nerves may in fact be the problem right yeah so it's like i think what dane said is so paramount that like if you're there and you're openly communicative and supportive and you know you make it very clear that you are there for them and to help and you're not judging you're not annoyed you're not impatient yeah uh you you're not like grossed out it's you you're not impatient. You're not grossed out.

Because a lot of people would be a lot of those things. You are fully there as a partner and you're dealing with this problem positively together. That's going to go so far in every way. Even if that doesn't help the problem, it's going to help her presumably for the rest of her life. You know what I mean? These situations shape us and it's like if you're shitty right now, that's not going to help her presumably for the rest of her life. You know what I mean? Like these situations shape us. And it's like, if you're shitty right now,

that's not going to be good. If you're really good now, like you're building the blocks for both you and her to have a wonderful sex, sex life for the rest of your lives. So I love the energy so far. Be there, be patient,

be calm, be kind, be supportive, be open, be communicative. And like, if it is the kind of thing where you need to go and see a gynecologist or whatever, hopefully you can do that. And if

not, like take your time, you know, it could be that when you're 16, like I remember when I was having sex at 15, literally like you would have to, you'd be at someone's house and their parents would pop down the shops for half an hour and you'd be like, pants off quick. So it could be just a matter of like rushing it. And like, maybe it's trying to do it too quickly in the allotted time period. Maybe it's like discomfort from not being able to even like properly lie down the bed. So there could be a lot of factors of play here and you can work through

them, but I love the care and I hope that doesn't go anywhere. And you can also look into your area there's usually in most major cities um places that have like sex clinics and you might be able to go in without having to go through a parent and sit down with a health professional and talk this through you're probably not getting an examination or something as thorough as a gynecologist but you would at least be able to talk to a medical professional because as we've said, we are not doctors. We are not professionals. We can only

talk anecdotally from our experience. We've also used the wrong word multiple times for very basic words already this episode. So it might be worth popping into, I know Planned Parenthood, any of their office usually have like sex counselors and people that you can talk to about this kind of stuff. And they are the only different or like, you know, the risk there is if someone sees you, they might think you're getting an abortion, which might cause a lot of turmoil in your lives. So there's things like that, but it's certainly not a bad idea to try to go to a third party outside of your medical professionals of your family and chat with a medical professional in a more sexual oriented field and space.

So that's also an option that you can explore if you have something like that near you. Yeah. A hundred percent. And a good look. My friends are saying I'm too picky after I rejected a guy recently for a

single reason I saw as a deal breaker. I'm not sure where I should draw the line anymore. This is by Merilleth. I 26 year old female recently decided to start dating. What? That's a great name. I steal it for no quest. Do it.

Throw it on our other podcast and they'll never know i 26 year old female recently started to date again after taking a year-long break to get over a difficult relationship i've met a few people throughout the last year but i never felt genuinely ready to get back into it so i've just seen people casually but would avoid anything too serious met a guy 35 through some mutual friends of mine at a party a few months ago they told me a lot in common, and they were right. He likes to travel, cook, practices the same dance style as me, is an avid hiker, cyclist, runner, and was all around an interesting person to talk to. We really hit it off, so I agreed to several more dates.

Last weekend, he came over to cook together, and we started talking about our jobs. He was complaining his job required a COVID vaccine, and boasted he was able to fake it with forged documents. He asked me if I got vaccinated, and I said, of course, I work in the medical field. He already knew about my work, and we talked about a lot of other dates, so I'm surprised he would think otherwise. He asked if I got my other vaccines, and I told him, of course. I have to keep them updated as there are several mandatory in my domain. He told me I should have just faked it, like him. I shrugged, told him I had nothing against vaccines.

I saw them as beneficial, especially with my line of work, where I come in contact with blood and other bodily fluids on a regular basis. He told me he was not vaccinated at all. In his moments against modern medicines, we was raised with only natural medicine. He then said he turned out fine, so he doesn't understand why so many people feel the need to get them. Apparently, their mother disowned one of his half-brothers for getting his children themselves vaccinated. He asked me if I would get my future children vaccinated. I said I would if I had any. He got really quiet after that, and the subject was changed. In the end, it didn't sit right with me.

So as well as we clicked on everything else, I decided to end it after the date was over. I went in for a kiss and asked if we could see each other again. I told him I simply don't think we'd be a good match. He asked if it was the vaccine thing, and I admitted that it was. He told me he was disappointed and thought I was more open-minded. I thought it was the right thing to do, but now several friends and some family members are saying otherwise. They're wrong. so menial, which is why I'm still single in my mid-twenties. That stung, so I decided I'd get some outside opinions. I'm worried they

might be right, etc. They are not right. They're wrong. I like this episode because I get to tell people that they're wrong. It's true. The false equivalency of saying, oh, I chose in the middle of a global pandemic to not

get a vaccine that could help put this thing to bed. While lying illegally and putting people at risk, including myself. And then equating that to someone being like, I don't want to eat meat. There's no effect on other people based on what you choose to eat. Unless what you choose to eat is people. Yes. If you're a cannibal sure unless

you're a very bad vegan you're not being unhealthy to yourself you're definitely not being unhealthy to other people also it's just like there's so many levels here we're like one he's completely doing something illegal putting his job at risk putting other people at risk other lack of care for other people other lack of care for science and medical knowledge and also the kind of person who can only look at something that happened to them and be like i turned out fine therefore that's proof that everybody would turn out fine that's like you don't want to date someone that dumb like you just don't there's layers of things as now said also do you really want to be involved with someone whose mother is so overbearing that she's still pulling the strings like disowning family like if you guys did get married like

and had kids do you really think that she wouldn't be saying you know whispering in his ear to not get them vaccinated blah blah blah there's, the half brother got his kids vaccinated. So they have to be fucked. Do you really want to live with that ransom hanging over you? You cannot date people that you don't fundamentally agree with. You're in the medical professional or profession. You probably understand the science and benefits of having a vaccine as you've clarified so i wouldn't date someone who was trying to convince me that like the holocaust didn't happen yeah right though it's

like this i mean i get a little bit of a false equivalency but like at the same time it's like i know things that happened and i know like i wouldn't want to spend my time with someone or commit my life to someone whose worldview despite their personal preferences and stuff you know it's not like she's like oh you're jewish sorry i'm not interested or oh you're christian sorry i'm not interested but if you were dating someone or you found out that their religious beliefs were uh you know if they were like oh i'm a christian if you were like oh absolutely i will not date you because of your religion i think but if he was like oh i'm a christian and i believe that all gay people are going to hell and i believe that interracial marriage is wrong and i

also believe the fuck out you piece of shit yeah then it's like you're not a bad person you're not persecuting someone because of the religion you're persecuting people because or you're you're avoiding people because of really bad worldview yeah and like this has so many so many like consequences for your life were this to go further because your partner's at risk you're at risk if you or him gets sick and he refuses to like believe in medicine that's going to be an interesting fight also you're in the medical field he doesn't respect your field at all. Because anti-vax sentiments always come with the, they're pushing the narrative, they're lying,

they're faking deaths as COVID. It's like, how long before he's like, you know, just, there's nothing wrong with this. We could talk about this all day. You know you're right. I don't understand why everyone else is getting weird about it. Because of the societal pressure that women can't be single. I also love where she's like, I'm single in my mid-20s.

Who fucking cares? Yeah, you should be. Everyone should be. Yeah. No, I think that's like everyone is looking and they're like, oh, time's ticking for Stephanie here. You got to get in a relationship. It doesn't matter if you hate the person. It's better than being single.

Well, the thing is, you can't have sex when you're single. So I kind of get where they're coming from, right? It's true, yeah. Because if you do, you will just know. Blacklisted. Immediately. So yeah, just, you're good. You're good. And this is kind of like what happened earlier, where it's like, no, you know

you're in the right. And I hate that it's being second-guessed. You just got to do what we always say, and you got to stick with your guns. Didn't we say to not change your guns? Don't change your guns. Don't change your guns. That's what I'm saying. Put that as the title again.

You know, that's one of our most popular episodes ever. Maybe I'll make it Don't Change Your Guns Part 2. Please do. Please do. I really hope that we have a bunch of like gun nuts who like looked up a different podcast but then listened and then stuck with us if you are let us know we don't know why that episode's the most popular i know and we want to know and hey if you did come if you were lured in by our weird titles and you stick you stick around hell yeah hell yeah hell yeah okay are you ready for this one?

It's going to be a trip, but I don't think it'll be too long. This is Fwest Loki 70. I got to take a deep breath before I do this. Am I worth it as a guy who is sensitive like myself worth it? I have been recently feeling hurt as that I have liked quite a lot was nice to her and all. She has an ex who is always bad to her, but she never bothered noticing me nor talking me more as i cared for her more and all that her ex did why did she lie to me as i have always been honest but i don't hate her at all for what she did forgive her she never replied to me with a different message when i send her beautiful messages and of course compliments but

of course not always but it's the way i am like writing compliments to a woman of beauty because women deserve more in life a man who cherished them so much like they're the world to them you know her ex was also behind it and she let it happen she knew what would happen but that's the way she chooses her life i don't get why a woman of her beauty who can be a wonderful person by the way because anyone can and is in their own way but that's just the story but a brief part of it won't go further and the type of guy i am is sensitive can be very sensitive nice very nice even kind-hearted forgiving generous improving polite has manners gentle gentleman very sweet very sweet even positive heartfelt humble sympathetic empathetic mature and many other things including honest i'm not sure these traits are really that good anymore

i'm still holding on and being myself i'm part of being myself as helping others and so but i am not sure what women would ever like me and i am also very caring but the type of woman i like is mostly personality and heartwise beauty is fine and all but beauty within i just would like to meet that certain someone one day a woman he likes me because of not my appearance or anything because beauty and appearance is bs anyway does anyone agree on that but that is just my opinion my experience and overall doubts and finding the special woman for me i wouldn't mind if she's strong or sensitive or anything like that even smart and all beautiful even from the outside but as long as she is beautiful on the inside that is best a most cherishable thing in a woman but in general i care for all women but one is special

all women really need a man more of good personality than good looks because good looks can be deceiving it's an unfortunate truth so what do any of you think i get this might be out of context completely and too long what do you all think overall just a general just a general overall you think there were times in there where i got strong donald trump vibes right nice very nice even is this trump's alt account do you think and he's having issues with melania but you know what well i think we all know there's trouble with melania i i had flashbacks to a certain someone that we haven't checked in on in a very long time.

The vibes I was getting. Do you think this is the stinky ex of Bad Bitch or Better Betch? Better Betch? Oh my god. Maybe. Do you think this is the stinky ex who got hit by a car and came back to life? He sounds like he got hit by a car. There's no, there's absolutely no punctuation in case you're wondering why I read it like I was falling off a building.

Oh no, I understood. I got it. Yeah, no, this sounds like a someone who's had a severe head wound via car and is also rotting from the inside. So one of the comments, I don't blame you, but you need to explain. What did she do? Were you dating and then her ex broke you up? I'm confused. Please explain what happened. Thanks for saying it nicely. So what happened

was when I met her, she seemed nice. She had nice vibes and felt she was a good person, although I developed feelings for her, which I honestly didn't want. I just wanted more friends. I've been through rejections in relationships, so not bothered with it, really. I also questioned as to why I feel again. Didn't really want nor like the fact i felt those feelings because i knew they were not the right time i should go naturally you know we came to know each other more her ex is not a good person because he treats her friends she makes badly and

that's why they broke up i was being myself because the one important thing in life taking it slow and all let everything go naturally was very nice to her honest and all but something felt that she was hiding something as we talked about our personalities together i was wanting to get to know me better that's not even a quarter into this answer but i'm gonna stop for your sake because i think i've made your headache worse yeah i'm now hung over again good so what do you think overall it's just i don't even know what to address. I think this man has too many, too many voices in his head talking to him. And I'm not implying that he has like a severe mental illness or anything,

but I think that there are, I think there's an internal monologue that needs to chill the fuck out. And I think he needs therapy. So I think one of the important things about this, and it's very hard to discern what's actually happened, but like he's never been with this person. She never bothered noticing me, but her ex is a bad person. But he's such a good person. Even the question, am I worth it? Is a guy who is sensitive like myself worth it?

There's nothing wrong with being sensitive, but you got to stop being in like, I deserve this person because I tick the box of being nice. Well, it's falling into the nice guy TM. 100%. 100%. Right? And in my opinion, the only way to get over that is with professional mental help. And I think this gentleman would benefit greatly from talking to a health professional or a mental health professional and sort of like right now he's his head is like a tumbleweed yeah right like and i think that that definitely needs to be you know deconstructed and straightened out and and and smoothed over

a little bit so that if he does want to convey his thoughts or his concerns or his feelings that they come out rational and understandable because right now it seems like you've got a lot of feelings and a lot of a lot of thoughts that aren't periods that aren't uh that coming out as anything meaningful to anyone probably even yourself you probably have no idea what you're asking right now yeah but i just i think like even before you know mental health like professional help and all that it's like you need to realize and a lot of people need to realize this you don't earn women by being a nice person you don't earn a partner by just ticking a box of like oh i'm nice and kind and blah blah blah like in a vacuum over there it's like you don't just hit your kindness quota and somebody appears in front of you being like one a day i think you could be the nicest person in the world but like no one's owed to be your partner as a result of that and like this

weird like sense of entitlement where it's like wait i've done my part i'm i'm nice so where you know why don't i own this person or why aren't they mine like that that's such a toxic bullshit thing it's like i get it it can suck when you are nice and hopefully you actually are i feel like anyone who says these things aren't inherently nice because the nice people do things because they want to yes because because they're nice right because they're like everyone that always says like oh girls don't want nice guys it's like, are you nice or are you trying to be nice to get girls? Because those are two very different things. I agree fully. I do also think though, there is room for, if you see a bunch of really great

things happen to someone who sucks, like there's kind of a, what about me? And it's not like you've done these nice things to have whatever, but there's just kind of like a life is unfairness. And it's fine to feel that for a minute. Sure. It's not fine to then be like, but I'm owed that woman. You know what I mean? And that's the point I was trying to make.

It's like, yeah, we get it. You can feel that way in a, in a flash, almost like jealousy because it kind of is jealousy. Right. But like, it's how you act on it that matters. And if you act on that by being like, but'm owed it's like you're reducing this poor woman to your niceness prize like fuck that that's not it yeah like women are vending machines that you just like put in your nice tokens exactly like hey we got you for an hour now and as dane says the irony is that type of thinking is inherently not nice. Not nice.

Very bad. So you just got lawyered. You ain't nice. And that's like you see it all the time where people are like, oh, I'm going to go and help her do chores or I'm going to go help her build furniture. And it's like you're not doing it because you want to. You're not doing it because it's something nice to do or to help out you're doing it because you think that this will put a little bit of weight into your i can have sex with you soon like call them and like if that's what you're doing if the only reason you're doing nice things for a person you know same thing with like oh you hold a you hold the door for a really pretty

girl but you're not going to hold it for like the dude with the Walker or the unattractive person or whatever. But, but if there's a hot woman behind you, you're going to hold the door hoping that she's 10 fucking minutes. Yeah. You're going to lock eyes and you know, a faith Hill song is going to play and you're going to fall in love and

that's going to be your adorable meet cute. Like that, that's not a nice thing. You're not doing a nice thing. You're self-serving yourself with a, you know, weird fantasy of how human women work. And also learn to put periods and things. I'm sorry. Like maybe also see an English teacher.

And they did clarify English is their first language. So I'm not being mean or I'm not being overly mean. So schedule, pick a day where you go see your therapist and then immediately go to a grammar collective. Grammar collective? Why am I part of that? I feel like you are. I'm definitely not. That's gonna do

it, friends. That is the end of our show. But before we go. Whoa, what happens before we go? Whoa. Before we go, we like to jump onto our online dating platform, such as Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge, comb through profiles to look for red flags, see what works, what doesn't work, in an effort to make your online dating experience a little more enjoyable. To spice it up, I got something to admit. I don't know if we've done this one before. And that is, no, but it's bad. Because if we have done it before, I should remember.

And if we haven't done it before, I should know. And I don't know. And I don't know what that says about me. But this is Alexa. Here's the situation. I need someone to come over, discreet as shit, and come in a bowl for me so I can make fried chicken and test a theory. No, you don't have to eat it.

I know it's not a sexual thing, but I'll jack you off if that's what you need. Come as protein, right? And protein combines shit. So instead of eggs, come. Makes sense to me, but will it work? but I'll jack you off if that's what you need. Cum is protein, right? And protein combines shit. So instead of eggs, cum. Makes sense to me, but will it work? I need to know. Have we done that?

No, we definitely have not done the cum fried chicken. I don't know if it's like that I've read it before when it got sent to me and it's burned in my brain, or if it's because a friend of ours was asked to make cum-based cocktails. Yeah, no. Maybe all of it, it but we definitely i don't remember that unless i've blacked it out of my mind which is also a possibility because i do that quite a bit the mind palace it's too big to hold maybe there is a room there's a large kitchenette where there's just a woman jerking a bunch of people off to make because that's going to be a lot of cum. This is like very small, like little chicken nuggets. But if you're going to try to like coat a breast and cum, that's a lot.

We've all tried to coat a breast and cum. Am I right? It's the first time we made a joke like any other sex and dating advice podcast by men. It's true. OK, I don't really know how to rate this because as a dating profile, it's not great. You're not looking for a date. You're just trying to find,

you're trying to find like a, a cum harvest. Source some locally, locally sourced cum. Yeah. So I'm going to give it a zero because it's not a dating profile. You, this is essentially a Kijiji ad looking for goods and services.

Were I single, I'd be like exciting, sexual, getting jacked off, worrying, well, if she tries to feed me. What else is there coming? Yes. It's a zero. It's a dark Kijiji post. It's not Tinder. This is Megan. It's a Tinder profile.

And it says, we'll say we met on Hinge. That's it? Yep. I don't know why I find that very fucking funny it's it's i i giggled at it too i was like that's actually really fucking because you're like you're taking that fucking we'll say we met at the grocery store bullshit that everyone is so ashamed but it's like clearly you're acknowledging that hinge is like a higher quality product also circling back to that question about the dude who got all fucking annoyed that she laughed you met him on plenty of fish yeah

get off plenty of fish for the love of christ what is it 2002 i know have you seen plenty of fish no but i have heard this really good alternative plenty of beef and i think plenty of beef that's the a i'm gonna download plenty of fish for you so i can show you tonight it's a nightmare it literally looks like someone went back in time and stole like geo cities and use that to build an app there's like live streaming it's a horrible fucking nightmare streaming oh my god yeah i'll we'll take a look at it while we stuff our faces with wings tonight. You know what? It's very funny. Obviously, I would like more details, but I'm going to give it an eight.

I'm giving it an eight as well. I thought it just flips things on its head, and I appreciate that kind of humor. Yeah, I know you're smart and you're funny, and that's two pretty big ticks already. And it's like, yes, I would love to know more about you. But like, it'll get me the message. I'm going to hit you with a Tinder opening. And this was sent to one of our friends, a Tinder opening. So like they matched and she said, OK, so we can rate this. He just wondering if you would be interested in shoving your dick in my ass.

Bring a few friends if you want. I assume the he is hey. Yes, misspelled. So, hey, just wondering if you'd be interested in shoving your dick in my ass. Bring a few friends if you want. I mean, she knows what she wants. It's true. But let me tell you, ladies, if this is your tactic, if this is just who you are, we're all going to think you're going to murder us.

Yeah. Or you're going to charge us an insane amount of money and there's going to be a large pimp in the room who's going to beat the shit out of us. Yeah. Or alternatively, the only people that are going to come over are either really dumb and don't think that or are so sketchy that they're cool with it. I think it's a loser's game. Yeah. So if ladies, I'm not here to squash your dreams of getting railed and fucked in the ass by strangers off Tinder. By all means, you do you chase your bliss. But you need to have a little bit more chill so that we aren't as suspicious because as much as this is every person's dream yeah so much not

the reality that you're not gonna come like literally and figure it'd be like it'd be like if i was like i'm a trillionaire and i was like i'm gonna give a million dollars to a bunch of people on tinder and everyone i matched with i was like hey if you meet me here i'll give you a million dollars. They're not coming. No, I'm not. No, no, no, no, no. There's no way.

That's not going to happen. It's the same sort of fear. Million dollars, anal with a stranger, you know? Yeah, my ex's roommate, very attractive girl, broke up with a guy and was like, I'm getting laid tonight. Like, I'm getting revenge laid. I don't care.

But would literally just go up to guys. I'm like on a night out, she would get approached so many times, but she was the one doing the approaching. We just walk up to him like, Hey, you want to come on? Fuck me.

And everyone's like, Oh no. And she was so upset. And I was like, yeah, cause they think it's a trap. Yeah. I'm like,

you could just chill for a minute or talk to someone for 10, 20 minutes and then invite them home and you're going to be fine. So I'm going to give it a one. Yeah. Pump the brakes. Pump the brakes a little bit. I don't think it's the way. This is Sarah.

She, they, pan, kinky, certified spooky bitch TM, love child of Sailor Moon and Elizabeth Selander. Way into Star Wars, TTRPGs, horror movies, knitting, Death Dula, Satanic Temple Member, Relationship Anarchy, Partnered, No Cops or Military, ACAB, BLM. And there's a bunch of emojis. It's like a dog or a wolf, a star. So there's a sigma,

a sag. Wait, what? I don't know. It's a purple devil emoji. Wolf is sigma, obviously. Black heart, rainbow, spider, two hearts, and a bat. And then a man and woman and a woman and a woman. Looking for casual dates and friends. There's some gens that are like laughing their ass off that we don't know what they all mean. I think that is just a quick summary of what they're about.

Nope. I like a lot of this. I don't think there's anything in there I don't like. Well, isn't there relationship anarchy? Relationship anarchy anarchy yeah i'm not really sure what that means but like so relationship anarchy is okay it's uh it's like a poly thing okay i figured like with them i figured it was just like disrupting the generic standards of relationships like there's there's hierarchical polyamory and non-hierarchical polyamory relationship anarchy is kind of just like we do whatever we want and we we are who we are and we don't put any more weight on on everything

it's like it is almost exactly what it sounds right like they and i think very much like where the direction you were going of being like we may we disrupt the status quo it is it is not just you know yeah man woman heteronormative so like again i going to say like that pinged for me and on any other profile that would be a red flag with them. I get the vibe and I understand where it's coming from. So it's not really pinging. I really like it. It's got to be like a nine. They like TTRPGs.

They like horror. They spooky. They knit. Love it. Yeah. Yeah. It's a great profile for me. I'm going to give it a 10.

Ooh. Yeah. I thought you would. It's literally got everything. All of my green flags in there. Okay. This is another Tinder opening, if that's okay. Yeah. You're a judge.

A woman comes in for exposing herself to a minor. The kid was a 13-year-old boy. He has cancer. It was his dying wish to see some titties. Is she guilty? Damn. Yes, she is. Or is she? I don't know.

I didn't ask you to answer the question. I'm gonna answer the question, though. Yeah, okay. What do you think? You don't want to know what I think, because I'm gonna answer, I'm gonna solve it all. Okay. So this is your last chance to guess before I fucking rock this shit out of the park. Okay, so is there

your judge? Mm-hmm. Woman walks in. Yeah, she's brought in because she exposed herself to a minor. Kid was 13-year-old, he was cancer, and it was his dying wish to see some titties. Is she guilty? Okay, I'm sure there's something I'm missing here, so bust this wide open, bust this nut all over. Well, the thing is, you're probably thinking of it from a moral standpoint, right? Like, oh, is it okay?

The morals and emotions have no place in a court of law. She did an illegal thing. She is guilty. Okay. Yeah. You know, she did the thing. She did the thing. She did do the thing. She did do the thing. And that's all there is to it, really. Speaking of all there is to it, that's going to wrap us up, y'all. Thank you very much for listening. We have news. We do.

We announced it.. We have news. We do. It's exciting news. February, Thursday the 16th, we will be doing a live show. We will be doing this, but in person in front of people at Black Sheep Cocktail Bar in Liberty Village in Toronto. It is

getting down to the wire for tables. We will probably still have room for standing room and like mingling space. I think the bar is also still open, like the seating at the bar, but tables are going quick. So if you are in Toronto and you want to come check us out, we

highly recommend making a reservation now. Yes, and it's going to be a lot of fucking fun. It's going to be a lot of fun. You think we're unhinged on some episodes? Wait till you see us in person, unfettered, liquored up with some beautiful cocktails. Yeah. It's going to get it's going to get spicy.

It's going to be some energy and it's going to be good energy. It's going to be good vibes. So please, if you are in the area or if you know people who are fans of the show in the area or people who aren't fans of the show and you want to introduce them and they're in the area send them over we would love to to hang out also if you have a question for the show head on over to fbuddiespodcast.com click the contact form just make sure you note somewhere in the question that you will be at the show so that we save it for the show and that we don't do it on the recorded show and we save it for the live show. Yeah, 100%. And we love you guys.

Thank you. Josh Eagle and the Harvest Cities, thank you for their song Paper Stars. Ready for some bad sex writing? Have you heard about The Hidden and Unknown? No. So it's an indie game on Steam that was released, but it's $2,000 to play.

Oh, yes. Yeah, the most expensive. Yeah, yeah. Have you heard what it's about? No. So it's one giant like MRA play? Oh, yes. Yeah, the most expensive. Yeah, yeah. Have you heard what it's about? No. So it's one giant, like, MRA's wet dream, apparently. It's only two hours to finish it, and it starts with, like, an eight-minute uncuttable,

like, Star Wars-like, you know, stream of words moving off into the galaxy that starts by saying, most Western men today are feminine and incapable of taking the lead. There's an idea called the human cycle, which cannot be stopped as long as humanity continues to exist.

It's been the case since the inception of civilization. However, with unprecedented advancements in science, things will not be the same as they used to be. Previously, only a small portion of people could afford to be weak,

but the situation is different today. Most Western men are feminine, while most Western women today are masculine. Men mistake being weak as being good, so they do not offend females. While women take on more masculine roles, their men are pathetic, weak, and incapable of taking the lead. So that goes on

for eight minutes, and it's how the world is ending, because men are pathetic, and women are being forced to be masculine and failing. Cool. So I feel like that was made by someone who played The Last of Us 2 and got really angry. It's like, I'll make my own game. Yeah, I like how they literally said they did their own research on men and women and that they do believe that men are generally weak and that the world will, you know, get worse and worse.

So there you go. Can't argue with that. It's a $2,000 video game. It's true, yeah. My name is Dave Miller. And I'm Noss Bane. We've been your fuck buddies. you