F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 229 - A Visible Amount of Piss

Episode Date: February 20, 2023

There's only one thing I want when I confront my ex and it's just a tiny puddle for everyone to see.  Topics include surviving period rage, thrust issues, reaching the climax, how to confront your ex, an intimate sibling evening.

I put my trust in you, and I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. I put my trust in you, and I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. Hello friends, my name is Dave Miller. And I'm Niall Spain. And we are your fuck buddies. We are a sex and dating advice show where we take your sticky, sexy situations and turn them into sexy, sticky situations.

Hell yeah. Simply put, we are a sex and dating advice podcast that finds questions either online, roaming through the wilds of the internet, or from our wonderful listeners. And we answer them right here, right now, for you, with you, to you. We would just like to say, if you came out to our live show last week, thank you. We haven't done it yet, so... Hasn't happened yet, so I'm not going to say, like, oh, it was a lot of fun, because maybe we fucking goofed it. Yeah, if something absolutely horrendous happened, like us just, I don't know, doing know doing a three minute long fart on stage sorry or if we just kind of like really got so nervous that we started to take your clothes off and be like is this it is this is this a live show is this what we do is this how it works yeah um that too so again i don't want to i don't want to say like oh it was great thank you we appreciate you coming out and either

you're welcome for an excellent show or sorry no it should be fine it'll be great it should be you good yeah i'm trying to i'm trying to i'm actually doing some live show prep kind of oh good i'm glad you waited until no it was one of the questions that i found um that i was gonna pull for the episode but i was like like, no, this is too spicy. So now I'm pulling in the live show, but it won't paste into my document. Ready? Ready for a question? I am ready for a question.

This by Stepping Stone. My 25-year-old male girlfriend, 25-year-old female of five years, is almost always mad slash irritated slash angry at me during her period. And we almost always fight, although I try to avoid it. Any advice on how I should help her calm down because I can't live like this every month? As the title says, during her period. We almost always fight about small things that are not important. She always says I should calm her down and be there for her, which I gladly do, but we still end up in a fight over stupid things that never should cause a fight. Sometimes, not always, she even calls me names while in a fight. Stupid, a fool, etc. Don't know if this is normal or not. I talk to her about this. She says most of the time it's my fault for triggering her with something, but the thing is, a week ago we had another fight. I told her earlier she should tell me when she's going to have a period so I can prepare and be extra careful, which I did.

I was gentle and tried to have fun and all, and everything was good until just before bedtime, she remembered something I said a few days ago that was bad slash negative in her own words, and she started talking about that. She got mad slash irritated, and we ended in another fight. I really tried to make it easy for her, but nothing works in the end. Now I'm so disappointed because I realize all those times she felt bad irritated angry all these years there's nothing i could do to prevent it no matter how much i tried i feel like a punching bag sometimes afraid this could could have something with something psychic if you know any kind of mental disorder that could cause something like

this please help me i want to make sure i help her i need advice on this i don't want to give up on her but i can't stand it anymore thanks it's so easy you just look at it and you say hey calm down you're acting crazy right now it works every time it's easy if women need to be calmed down you just look them in the eye and you say hey relax problem solved no relax is is pretty good but calm down is the best one calm down yes and also make sure that you do note you're acting crazy yeah that is also works too you know yeah because like it's it's one thing to say hey calm down but if you don't tell them why they need to calm down they get confused yeah now the good thing is this will probably actually fix it because you won't survive till the next month yeah she will literally just grab two sides of your rib cage barrel her

hands in and just tear you apart like a fucking wishbone okay in reality in the real in the real times the real reels in the real reels you don't deserve this i understand that hormones are heightened emotions are heightened during a period for sure if someone can't contain themselves and not call you horrible names and verbally assault you and abuse you and flip out. That's their problem. Yeah. Right. Like, unfortunately, I know many women who are 100% perfectly capable of not being absolute monsters while they're on their period. It's possible. That's not to say that there aren't other aggravating... Birth control is a huge

aggravator of hormones during menstruation. I know people that I've had partners who have gone off birth control specifically because of how intense emotional swings and things were during their period. And they were like, hey, this fucking sucks and I hate it. And have had to

go off birth control or change their birth control because of the way it's made them feel. Yeah. And that's the thing. It's like, as Dane says, it's not on you necessarily. It isn't the thing they just can't control. It's like you're an adult. You should be able to feel what you're feeling, put it in context and like get over it. It's not just a carte blanche to make your partner a punching bag. So it's like if you both know this is an issue, you're trying to do your best. But it's like, get over it. It's not just a carte blanche to make your partner a punching bag. So it's like, if you both know this is an issue, you're trying to do your best. But it's like, even if you're doing your best, they'll bring up something from a week or two ago and blow up about that. It's like, there's not much you can do. Have you ever heard of PMDD, Dan? No. So it is premenstrual dysphoric disorder, which is apparently a thing that like,

causes extreme mood shifts around periods that can actually be like a condition. I will say it has been brought up in the comments and a lot of people are saying that they suffered from it and were kind of like literally crazy when they were or like, you know, they felt crazy when it was happening because it was like very uncontrollable and there are various things you can do to treat this such as like vitamin supplements and anti-inflammatories and selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors etc but the original poster said i discussed this with her and she denied it and said i should be less negative and just be more gentle and it'll fix things so okay yeah i think you have done your due diligence of being like hi i i've brought my concerns to you and you've asked me to be more nurturing and more relaxing and like you know comforting during these times i've attempted to do that and then got bombarded with well now you now i'm going to punish you for something you did a week ago and it's like unfortunately incredibly unfair and as two people who don't have periods

i don't want to say like i don't want to speak on the experience of having a period but i can't speak on the experience of being a human being and not like it doesn't really matter what your situation is it doesn't matter whether you're hormonal it doesn't matter whether you're pregnant it doesn't matter any of these things if you're being whether you're hormonal. Doesn't matter whether you're pregnant. It doesn't matter any of these things. If you're being a shitty person. Whether you have anxiety or depression or whatever. Like we've talked about this issue before. It's like you can have X, Y, and Z, but it doesn't, again, give you just a free pass to be shit to people.

You know, it doesn't mean you absolve yourself of responsibility. And unfortunately, it doesn't seem like she's taking any responsibility or any steps to help mitigate it either. You know, like if you guys, if she was like, I'm really sorry, I,

I don't know why this happens. I do like everything. I try so hard not to, but I just like lose control. I'm going to go talk to a therapist about it. I'm going to talk to a doctor about it. I'm going to do this, but you've brought it up.

And the answer has been, no, it's your fault. Yeah. Which is like, it just seems like even when she's not on her period, she's using you as a punching bag of being like, I'm acting, you know, aggressive or unfair. that is also your fault. So you have to eventually come to a point in your relationship where you say, hey, this is taking too much of a toll on me. And as much as I adore you and love you, I also have to take care of myself. Yeah. No partner is worth being a punching bag a quarter of your life.

It's just like straight up. And the thing is, I think it's very important that you say it's your first girlfriend because that's probably the only reason you are putting up with this shit yeah it's yes i like to always think in the way i frame like put it in my frame is would i accept this behavior from a co-worker or a friend or a stranger because if i wouldn't then there's no reason why i should tolerate it from someone who is supposed to be like at the top of my list, you know? So it's,

it's one of those things where if you feel like this is something that you wouldn't tolerate from someone else, you definitely shouldn't tolerate it from your partner. I think a lot of people have that backwards. I think a lot of people give the people that they love a longer leash to hurt them when it should definitely be the other way around. Yeah, because you should be being treated incredibly by your partner, not even normally, you know, let alone worse than normal. Yeah. Yeah.

So, look, if you've done all you can do, you need to leave your own sanity and safety. If someone's not willing to get help or try to fix a problem, and it's just going to like turn around to blame you, then they're not a good partner. Yep. Plain and simple. This is from I've done my best. Do girls get frustrated when a guy can't thrust consistently? So I, 24 year old male, have been dating this girl, 27 year old, for about two months now, and I've been having problems being able to last.

During sex, she was big on doggy or prone, and is one to throw it back. year old for about two months now and i've been having problems being able to last during sex she was big on doggy or prone and it's one to throw it back the problem is i find myself pulling out or pushing her away so i don't come right when i'm doing good she moans or says something and the sensation gets to me and i quit the other night she was riding me and i asked her to hold on and she yells just fuck me she's even playfully mentioned how her ex was relentless and dude was like a rabbit i'm guessing girls don't like stop and go. Any advice? I wish we had more context because I want to know, is he still making her come?

Right. Because like one of my pieces of advice, which we talked about before, is like if she's coming, she's going to be far happier than if you're like, oh man, I couldn't last. Well, that's me. And that could be the real problem here, where like if you aren't satisfying her in other ways and you think this is the be-all and end-all and can't deliver then yeah she's probably going to be dissatisfied and unhappy i will say that i agree with you but i would say i don't think that's the issue here it seems like she's looking for a very specific kind of looking yeah but also like if that's what usually gets her off and he hasn't gotten her off

another either way it's a possibility is all i'm saying. And we have talked about before. As for this, it's like hard to know how you are with your dick and how your dick functions. For me, if I ever have an issue like this, I will usually just go again. And the second time I go, I will last longer. And I usually don't have to wait too long for that to happen. So that's, I know not everybody's the bag, but like, if you know that if you like have a wank before you meet up with her that night, you'll last a little bit longer that later on in the night, that could be something to do. I know there are creams that like, or not creams like lube that like desensitizes you, which seems scary to me. And I don't know how well they don't ever use them they are too well yeah okay they're the worst the thing is is it's a numbing agent that you use but hey guess what it's also being used on her as well so all that ends up happening is wouldn't it be in the condom it doesn't matter it i've every time i've ever used those out of like, that's just what they've had before I realized I had a latex allergy. There have been times where like I've used those. I also had issues lasting when I first started having sex as well. And it was one of the options that I tried. And it literally all it did was make it so I couldn't feel anything and couldn't maintain an erection because it was essentially like I wasn't having sex. And yeah, that was always like, whenever I saw them, I was just like, I don't want that because I feel like if I lose sensation, I'm just not going to want to fuck

because I'm like, what's happening? So I don't know. Yeah. It's essentially like, we don't do that then. No, I would highly recommend staying away from numbing agents. You might work for you. Great i think i've just i've never had a good experience with them and i think they are because nine times out of ten they also end up well you know somehow also getting a little bit on them and all it takes is a couple of thrusts yeah then all of a sudden no one's feeling anything and what the fuck is the point alternatively have a few drinks. Again, not too many drinks, but it'll make you last a little longer.

Maybe. I mean, I think, like, again, I don't really think that lasting is the problem here. I think the problem is she's looking to get absolutely fucking railed. I mean, I guess, yes, I guess lasting is the issue. He doesn't want to rail her because if he does, you know, he says he's going to finish. So I think it's a two pronged approach, but I don't think you can really approach the second one until you fix the first one. True. But like, I think the communication isn't there.

You've been dating for two months. I don't know how open you are, but I think you need to be like, hey, when we have sex, it feels really, really good for me. So it takes a little bit for me to sort of find a rhythm. I can't rail you or I can't pound you or I can't jackhammer you right out the gate because I will not last. It just feels too fucking good. And I think that will also reduce expectations as well. Because I understand her frustration of if you're not communicating

why you're doing what you're doing and she starts feeling good and then all of a sudden you stop and you pull your dick out. Yeah. Right. Like, like it would be so frustrating, I imagine, for us as well. The number one thing like that any women say, any woman says is like, you know, it is about the rhythm. You know what I mean? So it's like it's frustrating for women when they're like oh this is really good and then it changes and like that's all you're doing apparently so i can understand that's frustrating and obviously the communication

isn't there like dane said if she's kind of dropping these shitty remarks about her ex that's not good yeah there's you will never get what you want sexually and i can almost guarantee you this if like saying just fuck me like getting frustrated is is not going to get you the result that you want yeah nor is trying to make them feel shitty by talking about how good somebody else was compared to them yeah you're only going to open up a bunch of anxiety insecurities that's going to lead to even more problems you're going to like being like just fuck me is likely going to open up a bunch of anxiety, insecurities. That's going to lead to even more problems. You're going to like being like, just fuck me is likely going to make him think of his of your, you know, rabbit ex-boyfriend. And guess what?

Now he's not hard anymore and can't fuck you at all because he's so in his head about everything that's happening. Yeah. So you really need to sit down, have an open and honest conversation with your partner and explain why what's happening is happening. And maybe you guys have to figure out a happy medium. And if it is, as now said, if you need to get her off before you guys even have sex, if you have to go down on her or finger or whatever to get her to come a couple of times so that that sort of primal urge to be fucked is a little a little more quelled. Do that. Take care of of that get that out of the way if you're even just not making her come that definitely needs to be a thing you establish and get gone like get going first but also you can do stuff like there are slight workarounds

like if she really wants to get fucked really hard you know you're not going to last really long then tease her edge her effectively and get her till she's really close to coming and then jackhammer her while you make her come will that be exactly what she dreamed of maybe not but is it going to be a very close approximation probably and it'll be you reclaiming a little bit of your power and like if she's coming again everyone's gonna be happy so i think that's. You know, you can make it a little game. Just be like, hey, get her in position, have her in doggy, have your dick like waiting or have it in her and just don't move it and like rubber clit and like hold her hair and tell her I'm not going to move until you tell me you're about to come. And once she says that, jackhammer. We skipped over it, but don't use the numbing lube,

but use lots of lube because as we've talked about before, the pleasurable sensation of sex comes from friction. So the less friction you get from adding lube to the mix, you won't be as stimulated if you use a lot of lube, which hopefully will let you last a little longer. Yeah, but you need the communication. You need to get out of your head and you need to talk and try to make it work. All right. Well, this is similar. This is by embarrassed fig 7534. My girlfriend has never made me come.

I love my girlfriend more than most things in my life. I met her two years ago and I'm still with her to this day. I love like, like if I don't know, you love her more than most things in your life. Okay. Yeah. Still words to say. It's like, these are all implied. But anyway, first in the relationship, we were just starting to do sexual things.

It was not a big deal to me because I did not really expect of her to make me cum. But as it went on, it was becoming regular for us to be doing things like that. The sessions were becoming longer and she would cum every time. Whether it was me eating her out, fingering her, fuck her, you name it. Every single time she came and then that was it. But anyways, the cyclers were repeating where she's giving me head or something for 30 minutes that turns into an hour and i just simply do not come she basically gets bored and i don't blame her because obviously starting to become an issue because she apologizes to me every time she's finished and gets in this pissy mood

like it's my fault i'm not saying it's her fault it could be mine i don't know if i last super long or what it's just never happened p.s i do not watch porn at all or masturbate much any advice i was gonna maybe question if you've got the old death grip and have desensitized yourself um because that is that is always an option or a potential uh issue on on that front um a couple things that i think of when people can't finish is there's a lack of a connection between you guys on a sexual attraction level i'm not saying you don't find them sexually attractive i'm not saying that you find them unattractive i'm just saying that there's a disconnect because i find that anytime i have a hard time coming with someone consistently and not just on a situation of like i'm exhausted

or it's really hot or whatever you know those those situations always come up but if i'm sleeping with someone and every time i sleep with them over a long period of time i can't come i'm gonna wonder be like hey am i actually into this person like yeah what's what's the missing piece here because when i'm really into someone i can like zero in and really focus and be like yeah this person's fucking hot and and get there or um what really helps me is i i get them to talk to me dirty talk is like the number one way to get me to finish um and it's really easy because like you know what you need to hear and i will just ask someone to say it and they will usually happily oblige because it's fucking hot now that's a good point because are you communicating what you need and want because it doesn't seem to say I've been telling her to do x y or z like are you just sitting there

and it's not really feeling good and you're like well damn it's her fault I guess because like we've talked about this from the other perspective where it's like you're with a guy and he can't make you come, but you're not telling him what you want or guiding him or helping them. You're not aiding the situation. So it's like in this case, you masturbate. You don't seem to have an issue coming then. So what's the difference? And I know, right? No, he just says he doesn't do it much.

OK, says he doesn't watch porn, but he does masturbate, but not much. So that's one thing. It's like if you haven't communicated and you're just expecting her to know what you want, that's fucking step one right there. If it is that you're communicating and for some reason it's just not working, Dane brings up a great point. There's probably some kind of mental block. That could be insecurity. It could be nerves. It could be a lack of attraction.

It could be anything else. I would also say, look at what medications you're on. A lot of medications affect those things. Yeah, I know a lot of like antidepressants for sure have side effects that make it more difficult to even just experience arousal, let alone actual like climaxing. I would also like I would love to know if you know what you like as well. Right. you know what you like as well right i think i i never want to encourage people to turn to porn to educate themselves on white what might like get them going because it's performative and an unrealistic standard to expect from a real sexual relationship but maybe get on there and

take a look around just just browse don't expect to be able to recreate it one for one like maybe you find out that oh i'm actually kind of into dom stuff i like to see rougher sex and if you guys are doing real vanilla missionary uh you know one pace set a metronome to without any sort of like passion or or fire behind it maybe introduce some fun things maybe talk about like you know pinning arms down or having them say yeah please and thank you for things like you know introduce really small stuff some role play some dirty talks costumes like some different positions uh yeah there's a lot of stuff you can do the thing about not watching porn i'm not masturbating much makes me wonder if it's like someone who's religious or has other kind of blocks with regard to sex in here yeah or this like newfound thing of being like i am a heightened sexual being because

i don't watch porn or because i don't masturbate therefore i am like the epitome of male virility and it's like well i not really like abstaining from watching porn can be a very healthy choice because we we can talk about the the detriments of uh too much porn consumption for sure but also not being connected to who you are sexually can also be a detriment as well like if you don't know exactly how to make your cum, like if you can't make your cum or yourself cum quickly. You can't make your cum. You can't make your cum. I mean, that's also a health issue.

That's yeah, that's a different issue. But like if you if you can't get yourself going on a pretty consistent basis, then there might be a lot going on that you just aren't in tune to you as like a sexual entity. Also, like maybe try to shake it up by like masturbating together. If you could make yourself come, maybe that will be like, it will lower some kind of like barrier in your head. If you're doing sexual stuff like in proximity and it might be like a hot scenario together, I will say, I really hope you are going out of your way to make your partner feel okay about this because if it's not her fault and

she's trying that's it's a really shitty position to be in for her as well so you know i would make make sure to really reassure her and let her know that's not her fault and that you're not blaming her blah blah blah and that you find her attractive and all this because it is a really tough thing to tough position to be in and hey like even if you don't come getting a blow job is getting a blow job like if someone sucked my dick for 30 minutes even if i don't come i'm gonna be like hey thank you that was incredible if it was incredible and if it's not then that's where the communication comes in you talk about things that you might need so once again believe it or not the answer is communicate with your partner try to figure out what what these things are and also take a second and communicate with yourself light some candles have a really really romantic evening with yourself and see see what gets you

going and like also look at other things that might affect this, like exercise and smoking and, you know, various things like that can affect it. So just kind of have a look at your diet and your health situation going on. And if you're really concerned, talk to your doctor. Yeah, go to a doctor, go to a sex therapist. We live in a time, a beautiful time where we have a lot of medical knowledge. Yeah. Now this one is, I'm pretty sure, not English as the first language, but I think it's enough

to, to get the gist of it. Okay. This is from Cersei's Verities. How to react to the fact he broke up with me to be with his colleague from work. My ex-boyfriend broke up with me and I just learned that he's in a relationship with his colleague from work. And during our relationship, it created some jealous reactions from me because they were sending texts and being very close he even made me feel bad about my reactions which were justified he does not know that i know how

should i react i'm very angry and i want him to feel bad about it but maybe the best way is to act very calmly what an asshole please help look sucks, but fuck it. You're done. Getting angry at him, getting into an argument with him, getting any kind of reaction out of him, it's never going to go like you hope. So move on with your life. Do good stuff for you. Block him. Don't think about him. And I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but that's what you got to do.

Go join a gym. Go join a new club. Go out with your friends. Have a nice dinner. Take care what you got to do. Go join a gym. Go join a new club. Go out with your friends. Have a nice dinner. Like, take care of you and fuck it. It's like they've proven themselves to be not worthy. OK, so this is the thing I like to do. If you break up with somebody and they do something like this, you shouldn't be upset.

You should. Well, you should be because it sucks. But what I'm saying is they have given you the gift. And that is the gift of this is a good thing that happened to me because they have proven that they suck. So the fact that you guys are of this is a good thing that happened to me because they have proven that they suck. So the fact that you guys are broken up is wonderful. The fact that he's a piece of shit is great because you're not dating him and you could have been, you know, you were. If this hadn't happened, maybe you still would be and you wouldn't know yet that he's a piece of shit.

It's like a gift that you're like, oh, cool. This is such a good position to be in because they suck. Everything is good because I'm not with them anymore i can move on fuck that person i do want to say i think we're granted i don't know the the parameters of the thing but just being like friendly like being close and texting doesn't necessarily mean this guy did anything wrong yes yeah that too and that's the thing it's like that's even more reason not to have this blow up because like it's done and that's the thing it's like that's even more reason not to have this blow up because like it's done and that's the thing it's like it's done you're not gonna get anything out of it even not the things that you think you might get and you don't even have proof it's like he might not have been it might have been your jealousy that drove him away and maybe things happen or

not but also that's that's that's how relationships work though, if I'm with someone and then I find, like, I find a better compatible partner. Like, unfortunately, it does suck, but it doesn't make him an asshole or a bad person or whatever to end a relationship to pursue another relationship with someone else. No. It hurts, for sure. It's a kick in the fucking teeth. Absolutely. absolutely but like unless he cheated on you or unless he lied to you about something or treated you poorly or you know kept you on the back burner until something was a better came around yeah that's a shitty thing to do to someone but if it was just a matter of like hey we've run our course

i found this person that i have a real connection with and i want to pursue that now it's we need to get out of the the mindset of like when someone breaks up with me they're a bad person yes sorry the reason why i kind of went down that path was because they very much seem to be hinting that they did do something wrong and i guess a lot of that is probably just people tend to think that when things exactly and i'm not trying to like put that on you i just thought it was an interesting thing that like kind of jump into it as well. I just like I was thinking about it when I read the question. I was just like, huh, because I kind of went down the same path, too.

And I was just like, but like we need to like sort of chill on breakouts or breakups a bit because and normalize them as well. Because really the two options are end a relationship when it's time for it to end or drive it into the fucking ground or cheat yeah and of those three two are way worse and that's what i mean like however you decide to like tank your relationship whether you cheat on someone whether you lie to them whether you lead them on for ages whether you just like kind of let it fizzle to the point where people everyone feels bad about it you know like miserable yeah like those are i but like just take a moment be responsible for your feelings be responsible for your relationship and if you don't want to be with someone anymore end it and if someone ends it and if it's if it's done genuinely and compassionately like by all means feel sad by all means you know upset about it. I'm not telling you to do that, but like, let's not, I want to normalize, not vilifying your exes

if the relationship ends respectfully. Yeah, no, a hundred percent. And the thing is in this scenario, best case, nothing was going on and they just either he liked her and broke up with you, which again, that's okay. Or he didn't like her in that way. You guys broke up and then he realized he did. Worst case, he was being a little shady, but he still broke up with you and then got with her as opposed to cheating on you for a long time. Maybe he did, whatever. Either way, you going and yelling at him or sending him a snarky Facebook message or showing up at his work or whatever, I don't understand what the next step is here unless it's you move on. And the thing is, if they're a shitty person, that will probably hurt them more than your

attention anyway. And if they're not a shitty person, then you're not being an asshole. And either way, you're building up yourself and you're moving forward and you're doing positive things. So it's a win-win. I like to remind myself frequently that in those situations, they're probably not even thinking about me. And that might sound harsh. That might sound like it would actually make things worse,

but it gives you the freedom of being like, why am I wasting my time thinking about someone who's definitely not thinking about me? Right right like chances are this guy is not sitting at home being like i hope she's really upset no he's he's moved on right so most likely you are maybe a fleeting thought if he sees your name on his social media at some point in time and he's letting not lingering on it most likely or at the very least just think just think that you know i mean like just tell yourself he's not thinking of me so why am i wasting my time thinking about him yeah and i find that very very liberating even if he is thinking about you you not confronting him is gonna hurt

than more it's there's everything points towards you moving on and moving forward there are no downsides to it you made a very good point of being like, it's not going to go the way you want it to. No, not at all. Regardless of what you think might happen. Like, because what's the plan? You go and you scold him and you do a big dramatic speech and he's like, you're right.

You're the one I wanted to be with. Do you really want to be with him again? Probably not. No, and he's not going to say that also. He going to like crumple to the ground and like weep openly and be like i fucked up i'm such a bad person it's like no no no he's gonna piss just a little just enough that it's visible and that's all the victory she needs i'm hey that okay that i'll let you that would be good you can chase that bliss but like again just move forward there isn't there's

nothing to be gained here there's nothing to be won here. There's nothing to be won. Also, you don't want to put, like, arrows in their quiver by them being like, hey, my ex is crazy. Like, just fuck it. Just move on. You can build yourself up. It's done with. I love getting over exes. And by that, I mean, it's just like, fuck it. Move forward. Just go. You gotta move forward. It's a great feeling. Yeah, just don't dwell.

Like, I'm always baffled by people who are still hung up on their exes forever. It's like, why? Just order yourself a pizza listen to some Lizzo hang out with your friends use your new found time to do fun shit and again I'm not saying any of this is easy I'm not saying you can't be hurt

by what's happening or be upset by what's happening or find yourself thinking about a whole bunch but it's like you try to move on and in doing so you eventually do if you don't and if you try to like keep crafting that perfect email that's going to make him piss just enough but it's like you try to move on and in doing so you eventually do. If you don't, and if you try to like keep crafting that perfect email, that's going to make him piss just enough that it's visible. It's not going to happen. This is CJB29 boy. Girlfriend wants me to take her sister on canceled date. I scheduled a really nice date, which involved pre-purchase tickets. And it's kind of intimate. My girlfriend suddenly feels ill and suggested I take her sister.

Having only dated for a few months, I said no politely because I thought it'd be weird barely knowing her sister and I'd rather go with one of my good friends. She's insisting on going on that I go with her sister to get to know her, but I feel there are better ways to do that. I feel like it's perfectly acceptable to take my good friend instead of her sister who I barely know on a pricey and intimate outing. I don't really know what the acceptable approach is. Okay, you can't give me this question and not tell me what this expensive, intimate question or night is. Also, you didn't give us any information about

this close friend. Is it a lady? Right? And not saying that you can't have close friends, but if it's like none of this makes any sense because if it's an intimate evening, I wouldn't want to go with my partner's sister. Oh, yes, but you would want to go with me. But like at the sense because if it's an intimate evening, I wouldn't want to go with my partner's sister. Oh, yes.

But you would want to go with me. But like at the same time, it's like how intimate is it if it can be interchangeably your partner, your best friend, or your partner's sister? Like what could this possibly be? I'm going through the replies and they're not very good, but they did say it's a best guy friend. Okay. That changes things for me. Because I would understand the jealousy of being like, well, you made this really romantic date, and now you're going to take your close lady friend that most people are going to be jealous of anyway. Yes, which I don't think makes it fair, but I think it at least gives a realm of understanding.

I can see where she's coming from and they the pieces are starting to fall into place you know yes but no it's best my friend is he very hot if i had bought tickets to a play or you know something that my partner loved for example you know tickets to see one of the her favorite movies with like the toronto symphony orchestra being played and they can't go all of a sudden oh yes I would take you yay before I took their sibling and not anything against siblings but just like I know this is want to be a fun night and I don't want to have to be like on you know like I don't want to have to be in mode of like impressing you or making an impression or like

any of that shit. I want to just go have a good time. A hundred percent. And that's totally fair, especially after you've spent money and time and, you know, going to meet a partner's family, especially if you don't know them that well. Like I was with my partner for seven years. I don't think I ever hung out with any other family without them. Yeah, that's the thing.

It's like, even if they were like, oh like oh no take my friend it would still be weird yeah just like and like if this is an early moment in your relationship you know maybe you haven't really stated your case yet and maybe that's why it hasn't resolved because you don't know if you're being an asshole or not i think it's very fair to be like uh you know what i would love to get to know your sister i don't really think this is the way i'm gonna take my friend instead uh and you know if you guys want to we want to go get coffee with your sister or something we should do it when you're feeling better and if they're like no you have to take my sit then this is a good early time to find out that your partner kind of sucks yeah telling your partner and and it should go without saying for like all situations

just being like hey this social situation makes me a little uncomfortable and i'd rather not do it by myself yeah i don't think is an unfair thing right like or even if they were like oh hey me and like 18 of my friends are going out you're going to be the only person who's not in this friend group coming you should come out with me i don't think it's unfair to be the only person who's not in this friend group coming. You should come out with me. I don't think it's unfair to be like, actually, that's a little overwhelming for me. It's I'm probably just going to sit in a corner somewhere and not talk because you guys are all going to be talking about like inside jokes and shit that I don't know about people I don't know. So I'm just going to like, I'm just going to bounce out. You have fun. Have a great night.

I'm excited to meet your friends. But in that specific situation a little much let your partner do that let your partner bow out of social situations obviously there's a flip side of being like if every time you're like oh you know me and two of my friends are doing this you should come and hang out and you're like and you're like no yeah if you never want to hang out with them or their friends then like yeah okay that might be a problem but in in certain social situations i think we can all understand it being like that's a bit much and could be uncomfortable and understand why it would be yeah and like if they have a different option because like this

guy has the option of his friend in your scenario the person might be like oh i could go with you and your 18 friends and have a bad time or i could go to like the board game night that my friends are doing that same night you should be like oh hell yeah have fun not like no fuck you enjoying yourself put yourself out for me like no let like be good to people yeah everyone's social prowess is different in different situations right like i'm sure there are some people out there who are like hell yeah i want to make your family i want to like, hell, yeah, I want to meet your family. I want to, like, be one of the gang. I want to, like, be part of that crew. I want to be so ingrained in your family that, like, I am just another one of the kids or whatever.

I'm sure there are people out there who are like that. But for I feel like most people, I would be like, hey, I don't want to hang out with your family by myself when we're this new. That's weird. Yeah, 100%. At the end of the show, before we say goodbye to your sweet, sweet faces, we like to hop on to online dating platforms such as Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and comb through the profiles, see what works,

see what doesn't work, in an effort to make your online dating experience a little more enjoyable. Alright, we'll start off with River. About me. Does not have sex with farm animals. Nice. Hey, that's a big one for me that is a real big deal breaker for me if you're having sex with farm animals i don't want you so it's good that i know for a fact that this person doesn't do you do you know this for a fact because they

said it i feel like you know the fact that you feel like you need to say it means that either you think everybody else is or you don't protest too much. Or you have strong animal fucker energy that everyone just assumes that you do. Okay, that's also weird. Yeah, I went by a tattoo place once I was traveling. I had a giant sign on the window that said, we use clean needles. And I was like, hmm, why do you need to say that? Yeah, you shouldn't have to say that.

It's like saying, like, we don't serve poison at a restaurant it's like thanks so i don't know man it's not it's not a good one for me i mean i don't think it's a good one for anyone except perhaps if you are a farm animal looking to date a human no because i guess you'd want to be fucked by them yeah but they might profile for everyone It's just a two. It's a two. Wow. Just because I know there's probably ones out there. Okay, that's fair.

I'll give it a one. I'll give them zeros. This is a trend that we've been seeing a lot of. Are they a car? They're not. What? Are they a car? A car?

2000s model, barely used, low mileage. Oh, no, no, no. You know what I'm talking about. I had no idea what you're talking i was like are we seeing lots of cars this is elise i'm a busy mama of three amazing kiddos heart heart heart that it yes man it sucks that you're reducing yourself to nothing but i am a mom and like i kind of understand of being like look this is going to be a deal breaker for a lot of people so i'm just going to put it there. And you know what I mean?

Like let's, let's cast the net and have it very difficult, like entrance fee of being like, you know, if you're cool with this, then we can get into, but like, you're right.

I would like to see, by all means, mention it, but surely there's more to you than this. Yes. That's the thing. It's like, I think it's

a great thing to mention if you were like busy busy mom with three amazing kids i like x y and z great boom there we go that's a profile if you're just like i'm a busy mom with kids it's like okay and that it that's all you got i don't think that's a selling point i don't think it's not a selling point either i think someone who is in someone with kids isn't gonna care you know what i mean but like the selling point is what you're into and who you are and your personality and your likes and you know where are they so i don't know it's like a three i'm giving it a three as well because yes i would like people to stop boiling themselves down to just a really mundane part.

What if I was like, this guy doesn't have kids. Yes. Nothing. Yeah, it means nothing. That's literally nothing. Give yourself more credit. You're more interesting than whether or not you've had kids. This person is nameless, but they do work at Girlboss, or are

a Girlboss as their job. About me. Not your football your football wife needs being taken out to eat to have a personal photographer going to italy wants big man any race except british listen to me but also tell me what to do same film art music bros give me your money in exchange for love. Must have at least one sister. Must be over 5'10". I'm 5'9". No natural blondes, please. So much to offer once I let you in, but you gotta guess the secret password.

Do you have a lot to offer? Because it seems like you're just wanting a lot of things. I haven't heard a single thing that you have to offer. Well, they're offering that they can be taken to Italy by you for you to take photos of them. And for them to they're offering to take your money. Yeah. And they're offering to get really irrationally angry at all your friends who are natural blondes. And hey, if there's one British motherfucker who's blonde, some poor blonde British 5'6 dude.

Oh, man. He's getting thrown up the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Yeah, she's fucking running him over in a Vespa. Yeah, it's just bad. It is really bad. I'm giving that a 1. I'm going to give that... I feel like it's maybe better than not fucking farm animals.

Maybe not. No, yeah, I'm going to give that, I feel like it's maybe better than not fucking farm animals. Maybe not. No. Yeah, I'm going to give it a one. This is Ruthie. Chatty. Artist. Vegetarian.

Animal lover. TV connoisseur. Pop culture fan. Silly goose. Philosophy and politics enthusiast. Extremely amateur quantum physics dabbler. Skygazer. I love the snow as much as I love the sun, but prefer a pool to a beach. Ever since I was little girl, I dreamed of meeting Conan O'Brien.

I did that and blew it. So now I need to make it happen again. 5'10", can't dunk yet. I love it. This is great. This is so much. It's that fucking simple. I'm going to give it a 10.

Yeah. It has so much personality. It's like, I want to know, how'd you blow it? How'd you blow the situation? Can't dunk yet. You're funny. You're positive. You you're cute everything's great yeah and like again there's nothing groundbreaking here they listed some things they like and they were kind of funny and had a personality that's it yeah it's like it's so simple to have a fun profile you don't need to like reinvent anything just just give us a taste of you. You know, just let us know what you're, what you're about.

Yeah. Love it. Uh, this is blank. About me. I don't need you, nor do I want you. I want you in my bed, then immediately out of it. Five, five. Dog and a cat.

Heavy smoker. Tree emoji. Weird humor. Jim is not life, but will always say yes to picking up heavy things. That said, fuck Bulgarians. Using you to get over my ex. Will slander him occasionally. Don't fall in love with me. I literally do not have the ingredients

for that right now. However, no one really likes getting nude for a bunch of strangers, so open to friends with benefits. I wrote this absolutely baked. Man, I'm on a wild ride there. Like, I kinda enjoyed the energy every now and then but then i didn't like the energy and then i was like i was kind of all the play like i like someone who owns

their sexuality of just being like look i'm here to fuck yeah great great but love that for you but then then you hit me with the like hating bulgarians for some reason and then uh talking about slandering your ex and like it just so like you seem like you would be more trouble than you're worth oh and that's a real shitty thing to feel about someone you seem absolutely miserable also like i no one really likes getting nude for a bunch of strangers so open to friends with benefits what yeah i don't know what that means because it sounds like i don't want to fuck like a bunch of people i'd rather have one person to keep fucking like just fine i like that energy

yeah but like the worst way to say it yeah also like i love getting nude for a bunch of strangers so you are you are wrong um i'm gonna give this a one as well and i'm also gonna give it a one and i'm sorry bulgaria i didn't mean to bring you into this. I know a very lovely Bulgarian woman who I miss dearly. I will say I've never met a Bulgarian person who wasn't lovely. Yeah.

Notice how we're not saying this about England. Unlike the British. Unlike the British. This is another Ruth. Ruth Paolo. I love meeting new people in places. Well, okay. Very smiling another Ruth. Ruth Paolo. I love meeting new people and places. Well, okay. Very smiling and adventurous.

Oh, okay. I don't like casual encounters. Let's not waste our time. I will not accept. My love language is quality time and attention. I love giving love and receiving it in the same way. Mexican. Exchange languages and experiences.

I kind of missed a little bit at the start because I got onto this new profile and it's fucking wild. But it seems like fine. Good on the side of bland. Yeah, I'm giving it a 5. Like 7? No, sure. You don't have to agree. No, I didn't agree. I was just disappointed in you. Story of my life. This is also blank. 22.

Read my bio before you swipe right. If your bitch ass think we are fucking on the first link, I will cuss you out and stab you with a real knife, you fucking rapist. No hesitation, I'll stab you if you try. Don't get mad because I say I'm crazy. Bipolar, OCD, BPD, depression, anxiety. Pretty bitch with an attitude heavily on that. Smoking princess, don't ask for a match.

Don't ask for my fucking number if you're going to late reply because I will automatically block you. Yikes. Yeah, I mean, this is just a hard one. Hard zero late reply because I will automatically block you. Yikes. Yeah, I mean, this is just a hard one. Hard zero, actually. I think it's a zero, yeah. Yeah.

The worst, just the worst vibes. Yeah. Who's looking, like, again, like, I wish I could get the, like, cascading down of people who are like, absolutely. This is what I want in my life. I want someone who's literally telling me they're going to stab me. That's the thing i actually do want to know who's interested in this because like some of the ones we've talked about are like you could understand where someone wants them if they also share shitty views yeah if you're a fucking racist this one is a racist profile i assume a racist person can be like hell yeah whereas with this it's like do you just want to die? Yeah. Like, it'd be so hard to be like, oh, wow, I really like that.

She seems to be very aggressive. Yeah. Seems like this is going to be a fight for my life, quite literally. Every second we're together. Yeah. Yeah. Big zero. Big zero energy.

That's going to do it for us, friends. Thank you very much for hanging out with us. Again, if you came to our show, thank you very much for supporting friends. Thank you very much for hanging out with us. Again, if you came to our show, thank you very much for supporting us. We're going to be doing it for the next two months as well. So if you missed it and you want to come check it out, we will have more details about our coming shows soon.

It's going to be a lot of fun. And hey, that's at least two months. We might even do more. But that is dependent on the support of all y'all. So if you're able to come, that'll be fucking awesome. And we love you all. And if you want to support us, but can't make it to Toronto to our live show, we do have a Patreon that you can hop onto and do just that. Patreon.com forward slash FBuddies, I believe.

Yes, it is. Or you can go to FBuddiesPodcast.com and hit the Patreon button there to be taken there. You can also send us a question. We haven't mentioned it in a while. We do accept questions. So head on over to fbuddiespodcast.com, support the show with Patreon or support the show by asking us a question

or sharing it with a friend or a five-star review. There's lots of ways you can show us love. Yeah, and we appreciate each and every one of them. Thank you to Josh Eagle and the Harvest Cities for their song Paper Stars. And are you ready for some bad writing of the sex variety? Absolutely. Now tell me if I've done this one.

This was a Twitter, a tweet, a Facebook post? I don't know. It's a post by a guy. Do women actually orgasm? There's no conclusive physiological evidence of it. Men are very clear, obvious. But women, not so much. One thing is clear. Women are taught clear, obvious, but women not so much. One thing is clear,

women are taught that they are supposed to orgasm. Perhaps this is an unreasonable myth that would help explain why so many women are sexually unsatisfied. Perhaps because they are expecting some defining moment like men have. Maybe a woman's sexual experience is just totally different from a man's. I will study the issue issue further how like just embarrassingly heartbreaking to think that you could go on a public forum and act so fucking like hmm and be so fucking wrong oh he was like the replies are fucking gold i should have screenshot them but everyone was just like just ripping it out of them it was so good it's just so good there's just no evidence of women coming damn yeah i'm wondering that hey that must be why they're so unsatisfied because it just doesn't exist it's like really dude that's

your takeaway that's what you went with i wonder why he's never seen one yeah yeah yeah oh boy it's strong ben shapiro energy of just being like, well, I've never seen it. So thank you very much friends. My name is Dave Miller and I'm not Spain. And we've been your fuck buddies. Bye.