F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 286 - Insert Funny Taylor Swift Reference Here

Episode Date: April 1, 2024

Don't be fooled by the title, y'all.  This is still a good episode, but man, it would have been SO GOOD if we could have made some banger T-Swift references.  Topics include who keeps the concert tickets, reasonable set of standards, breaking up for the dumbest reason and diagnosing a kink. Support the show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

I put my trust in you, and I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. I put my trust in you, and I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. Hello friends, my name is Dave Miller. And I'm Niles Payne. And we're your fuck buddies. We are a dating and sex advice podcast

Where we take your sticky, sexy situations And turn them into sexy, sticky situations Simply put, we are a sex dating advice podcast We find questions, sometimes they're online Sometimes they're just roaming the wild Sometimes you send them in to us And we answer them together, collaboratively For you, every Monday

That's right, we do it And also, monthly on our Patreon, if you would like to support the show, you can head on over to patreon.com slash fbuddies or fbuddiespodcast.com and click the Patreon link and the middle tier gets you a bonus episode which is

as Niall likes to say, 25% more podcasts for you. You know what? Let's do a little role play. Are you down for that? Yeah. I'm going to, let's role play how this episode would go if we didn't have any patrons.

One, two, three, go. We'd be dead. You can't see it. Yeah, you can't see it. I guess, hold on, sorry, I didn't, I was role playing a sexy nurse, and I was, but it was like, it was my first day on the job, and when you died, I kind of just shut down. That's fair. I was roleplaying Niall, and I died. I think Dane probably edited out the 48 minutes of silence, but that was our, if not, this is going to be a really long episode.

What are we going to be talking about this week, Dane? I'll start off. Me and my boyfriend broke up. Who gets the concert tickets? What is a reasonable set of standards? Girl is dating multiple guys at once. I need help ending it with her. Diagnosing a kink.

Hell yeah. Let's get right into it. Let's get into it. Let's get inside it. Oz by ThrowawayRespo9653. My boyfriend, 30-year-old male, and I, 30-year-old female, broke up. Who takes the concert tickets? A few months ago, I bought two tickets for me and my boyfriend.

We split the cost to go see Taylor Swift Era's tour in 2024 in Italy. My boyfriend is not a very big fan, or was not a very big fan of Taylor Swift back then, but I asked him to join me because I really wanted to go. I've been a big fan for more than 10 years. Since then, he learned a lot of the songs and became a fan as well. We were really looking forward to go see her. Long story short, a few weeks ago we broke up after a nasty fight in which I also learned that he cheated on me. The tickets are under my account, and I said to him I really want to go to the concert

and probably will go with a friend and give him his money back. He didn't like this and said it's his ticket and he wants to go as well. The tickets were very hard to find and I registered in five different European countries just to get the chance to buy them. All he did was send me the money. What should I do in this situation? Damn, this is tough. I was going to say, like, if it was just you broke up, you bought tickets, you're like, just split the tickets. You are not out any money but i think the cheating

yeah adds a little bit of spice to this question in the sense of being like you are living your own taylor swift song now right so i think you could be like look i'll give you these taylor swift tickets not even tickets i'll give you you your Taylor Swift ticket that you paid money for. However, in doing so, you are granting me, not that you need permission to do it, but be like, I'm going to make a full album worth of songs that I'm going to release to your friends and family describing what a piece of shit you are. So it's funny that you would say they're they're now in a taylor swift song because we have a special guest this week i'm really pleased to announce my friend t she's quite quick if you get what i'm saying taylor if you want to take this one over i'm taylor swift i really thought you were gonna hit me with the sexy baby line oh sorry i thought you were i

thought we were still role playing yeah i look i think i was gonna be a lot kinder and then you mentioned the cheating yeah it's the way that like i think any breakup should be amicable you know like i think it should be if you are looking through your things and you're going your separate ways like in my most recent breakup we literally were just like anytime one of us was like i want this yeah fine like it's yours or if there were any sort of things we'd like boil it down be like well like you use it more or i can get a new one like i paid for it or whatever like yes i feel like there are pretty reasonable ways to split things when people are being cool but but I also feel like this person isn't being cool. Which one?

The dude or the... The dude. I feel like he's throwing a wrench in the gears because it's like, oh, you fucking cheated on me? Cool. Now you want to come to Italy with me and, like, force your presence on me? Like, fuck you, dude. No. I assume they wouldn't be going together. Right? Like, if these are

floor tickets or whatever whatever then it's like They could coexist in the sea of Swifties And never once see each other But we know it's this guy's plan Uh I don't know I think it is it feels to me like Either he's just being shitty and trying to like Spikefully be like no fuck you give me the ticket

Cause she's not gonna be able to get another one Probably right I think that's also why he's doing it. The tickets are not easy to come by, as she mentioned. So I think it's like he's become this huge Taylor Swift fan, which like wild move. Like, did you not listen to any of her music and you still cheated on your partner? Like, surely, you know, this isn't going to go well for you. Surely, you know, maybe he got caught up in like maybe he's one of those that, like, plays Helldivers and is like, yeah, fascism's good.

He's like, he got the message. He's like, oh, she talks about, like, being fucked over a lot. Is that a good thing? He got lost in the sauce. People love. Maybe he's trying to boost your career. Well, that's what I'm thinking. Maybe he loves you so much.

He's like, I love this woman so much And she loves Taylor Swift so much But she hasn't been hurt like Taylor And I could be that guy For her I could take her red scarf Or give her the red scarf I could be a sexy baby

I could I could be a daydream Dressed as a nightmare We could be in the back of a car coming home from the bar. Damn. Their song could be the slam of screen doors. Sneaking out late. Knocking on your window.

We are going to a Taylor Swift dance party. Look, I appreciate Taylor Swift. I think she's got some bangers. Am I a Swifty? No. I hate to say it, but I'm not. Damn, we just lost all of our the patreon is now at zero thanks dan i know oh uh what was i saying okay oh we're going to this taylor swift

dance party and my everyone dresses up everyone like either goes in like one of her era outfits or one of the music video outfits or like has this thing. And my idea for a costume is I want to get a t-shirt and then get like a musical scale like printed. And it's just like notes and it just says bang, bang, bang, bang. And the song will be called slamming screen door.

That's my idea for the other option was to make some sort of large cardboard back of a car. So people could be in the back of a car coming home from a bar. But I think that would be really annoying to dance with. It would be really hard. Okay, send them the money, keep the tickets. Or don't send them the money. This guy cheated on you.

I think yes. I do feel like while we would all love to do that, I'm sure these weren't cheap. And it's like there's levels of being a dick where it's like yes he's unabashedly a piece of shit he cheated on you he doesn't really deserve much i do think stealing a couple of hundred dollars from him not the way to go you know what i mean yeah i think you're right give him the money back like that's it then you cut off all contact you go rock taylor swift in italy you're not even gonna remember this guy's name at the end of that.

You're going to have so much fun. And then he has no recourse. You're just done. It's like if he complains about not getting the tickets, someone's going to go fuck himself. You know what I mean? Whereas if you take the money, I feel like you leave the door open for all sorts of abuse and shit

and other people getting involved and this being never ending. And yes, does he deserve it? No, he's a piece of shit but sometimes you gotta take the high road and the safe road and the nice road unfortunately yeah you're right I think there is something about some sort of like moral high ground being like look you're a piece of shit I'm not

gonna fuck you over but you're not getting the tickets I put in all the effort to get them they're my tickets here's your money back and it's like, he can't... I mean, I guess, depending on your e-transfer settings or whatever. If he doesn't want the fucking money, wonderful. Keep the money. If he tries to throw a little stink

and be like, I don't want the money, great. Buy, block him. Keep that message, screenshot that message, and anytime he comes after you after that, be like, hey, look at this. Look what you did. I'm sorry that your little tantrum went off and if he's like oh it's unfair you know I want those tickets

be like cool you know what else is unfair when you cheated on me when you like also not cool so now we're even you did an uncool thing I'm doing an uncool thing you're not even really doing an uncool thing it would be in his mind it's an uncool thing right

Which is uncooler Which one Maybe message Taylor and be like yo This happened and she'll be like hey put you up in VIP Don't you worry I'll get you a hot football boyfriend You could be dating Travis Telsey

Mahonez Mahone The two things I know so much about Taylor Swift and like it the Travis Telsey Mahone is Mahone's Mahone the two things I know so much about Taylor Swift and like it pisses me off doing this whole question being like if I knew anything about Taylor Swift I could be dropping references

yeah I could be I could be making so many cool Taylor jokes and I just don't I just don't know it I'm sorry I've disappointed being like God it must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero. And then put in brackets, you. And then cross out hero. And then say sometimes you have a dream that you're a sexy baby.

Yeah. So fuck them. When someone cheats on you, you pretty much owe them nothing anymore. And I think taking the money is not a good call. But I do think you are well within your rights to take the fucking tickets and send them the money and then never, ever contact them again and go have the best time in Italy. Or the only time you should contact them again is if you're taking a selfie with Taylor. Yeah. And you guys are like fucking lady in the tramping, like spaghetti because you're Italy, and you guys are just slurping a noodle together.

Cool. This is from Highlander. 5, 8, 6, 2. What is considered a reasonable set of standards? Both men and women. So this is more of a discussion question. I saw it, and I was like, I gotta discuss shit with you, man? That's extra. You gotta pay me extra for that. Okay. Uh-oh.

It's gonna be my new defense mechanism where it's like anytime someone says something I don't want to deal with. Yeah, I'm just going to die. Yeah, that's fair. With the advent of online media twisting the way we view the world, I'm curious as to what standards are considered reasonable. The advent of online media? Was this written 28 years ago? I'm curious to see what standards are considered reasonable slash realistic in the current dating scene. As such, I would love to hear the standards everyone out there has slash had when looking for a relationship. Bonus points if you mention deal breakers that are a hard no

regardless of the person. See, like, the good thing about this is it doesn't matter. Like, you could have the most unrealistic standards and you know, what's not going to work out for you life. It's a self-correcting thing. You know what I mean? So it's like, if you're like, Oh,

you need to be perfect. And someone walks up, you're not perfect. Yeah. No one is you're fucked. You're always going to be single and miserable. Right. I think the only time it gets weird is if like you start projecting those

standards onto someone you're already dating. You know what I mean? so if you start dating someone and then like two weeks in you're like i wish you were a little thinner hmm i think you should get a boob job or something like that that's when the issues arise so don't be a piece of shit but like i think other than that if you just hold your like if you have high standards or if you have unrealistic standards and you stick to them without trying to warp people into them, it's just going to be a thing that self-corrects because you're going to be either successful and there's no issue or very lonely. And then eventually you will either hopefully change your standards or get really bitter, which I think is probably more likely. Okay. Well, what about i think there are some things that we could encourage people to

prioritize in terms of things like we talk about a lot on the show it's like finding out how someone you're looking to date communicates right there are so many people who are like oh i'm into this and i'm scared to tell them or i want to text them but i don't want to seem needy like all that shit like the standard you should have is if someone doesn't want to engage in the level of communication that you require for a relationship like if you're the kind of person who likes talking every day on the phone and there's a person who's like fuck no i don't want to do that with the advent of phones with the advent of the telephone. So it's like, everyone seems so scared.

And I think that has made everyone else very weird about everything else. So it's like, no one's doing anything out of fear of scaring people. And then the second someone does a thing, everyone freaks out. And it's like, no, just do the things that you need to do. So set standards for yourself and not for other people, I think is what I'm saying. everyone freaks out and it's like no just do the things that you need to do so like set standards for yourself and not for other people i think is what i'm saying so the thing is now i feel like we're talking about what standards should be set and not what's reasonable and what's not but i mean we're saying like here are the standards you should have as opposed to

like what's an unreasonable standard but i do think what you're saying is very important because like i think people maybe it's a mix of both where people are scared as you say to stand by their standards you know what i mean and you shouldn't and the best thing that ever happened to me with dating was when i reached the point where like i stopped making excuses for people's red flags and people's bad behaviors and stopped like understanding it and getting it and being okay with it and started hard line cutting people off the second they didn't meet my standards because it was great someone was shitty i just like cool bye like yeah i was just like okay we're done like next person great like

and i think that's a thing you need to do again if your standards are unrealistic that's only gonna hurt you but if what you're looking for is someone who's like kind and communicates well and isn't shitty and isn't manipulative and blah blah blah blah blah and then once somebody starts to try to be manipulative you're like no thank you that's a good thing yeah i think you need to like when you're setting your standards you're thinking of like what matters to you you need to i think evaluate why those rank as high as they do for you yes if your standards are like i want a guy who's six feet tall who makes six figures and if that's your standard then i think you're going to have a shitty time dating yeah well that's the thing it's like look we all want partners who are physically attractive

or whatever, but it's like somebody making money doesn't equate to them being good or good to be around or whatever. Somebody being slightly taller than somebody else means absolutely nothing. It's like, yeah, maybe you can wear your biggest heels and still look up towards them.

Cool? Is that what you're going to hang your relationship on? It's like, well, he sucks shit, but where are those five inches? It doesn't matter. And I think that's so essential. Because I was going to say this actually with money, where we see all these posts being like, I won't talk to you unless you're willing to pay for X, Y, and Z. And it's like, no one is going to take you up on that unless they're substituting money for something else in their life or something else in your life. Like, oh, I'm going to pay for you, but I'm not going to respect you or you have to, you know, there's an element of control because why would you when you could just go have a good relationship with someone else that isn't going to be a financial drain?

Yeah. It's one of those things where I see it all the time and i hear it all the time and i think it probably does skew more towards ladies where i hear women talking to their friends about people that they're seeing and they're like i don't think i'm gonna see him again and then they'll be but he's a lawyer but he's but he's this but he's that i'm just like you're like it always blows my mind that like if you and i were having a drink and you're like oh i started seeing someone but like i don't really like the way they talk to me or they never respond to any of my messages or whatever i wouldn't be like yeah but you know she's so hot keep being treated like shit niall like don't worry like it's crazy

to me the amount of people and i again i see it a lot more with women where their friends encourage them to stay in a shit relationship because of an arbitrary factor like attractiveness or job. A job is a big one where a lot of people are like. He's a tall, mean boy. He's not just a mean boy. He's tall, mean. Exactly. I feel like tall and mean would be a great Taylor Swift song. Maybe early Taylor.

Probably. That's when her and Travis Kelsey break up I assume he's tall He's a football player Yeah probably But he's a quarterback How tall is he? No he's not How tall is Travis Kelsey? That came up way too quickly

He's 1.96 meters I don't know why it gives it to me like that Is it because we're in Canada? He's 6'5". Damn. He's a big guy. Never break up with him. He's tall. He's so tall. He's tall and mean.

Oh, my Google also was like, you want to know how big this boy is? Although it does look like it just searched Canada. Yeah, he's 6'5", but man, he lies. Travis Kelsey, he's not healthy. Damn. Although, Travis Kelsey, I don't keep up with the goss. I'm not a big goss guy. But he just spent a shit ton of money buying a building for...

Seems like he's making up for something now, being told. Where kids can go and learn how to invest in STEM education. I was like, fuck yeah, Travis Kelsey. That's how you do it. That's how you don't fly around on your private jet like your girlfriend, ruining the environment. Your environment-poisoning lady friend. Yeah, I don't know.

All I've really seen from him is when he got really drunk and read out something really stupid and everyone seemed unhappy with him. And also when he yelled at his coach like that and upset the McElroy's. That's all I know about him. And just a lot of jokes being like, I don't know who this football player is, but Taylor sounds really fast. Taylor Swift. People were pretending that, yeah, never mind. What are we even doing here?

Just have standards. Reinforce them. As Dane even doing here? Just have standards, reinforce them. As Dane said, think about why they're important to you. And if you're being genuine with yourself and you're like, height is more important than kindness or communication, you're probably dumb. Or at least you're sacrificing something very important and good for your continued relationship, mental health, and everyday well-being for something inconsequential and superficial. If you want to have a shitty standard, be prepared to shitty people. who were a very specific body type and stuff it's like then in order to do that i would probably have to jump through a few hoops most likely money right be like i'm gonna spend all this money on you i'm gonna spend all this time like or just make sacrifices somewhere else because if you're picking x and y as your two main things it's like not everyone in the world has x and y

the ones that do may not have the other stuff. And it's like, if that's what you're choosing them for, that's what you're getting. Everything else is a roll of the dice. So it's like, yeah, maybe you get someone who's phenomenal and has X and Y. Great. But if that's why you're choosing them, maybe that's not the case because you haven't invested or cared about that part right absolutely whereas if you want honesty communication kindness etc and you get that it's like yeah i don't you know them you know what we're saying we know so we have standards reinforce them don't try to warp people into your standards and i mean that even if you have good standards like if you're dating someone who's a piece of shit don't

be like i can fix him, I can change him. It's not going to work. Yeah. And even if it does, why waste time and effort and your mental health trying to do that when you could probably find someone who is nice already? This by total annual 8073, girl is dating

multiple guys at once. I need help ending it with her. I've been dating this girl for almost a month and I really, really liked her. We had so many shared interests and the chemistry was honestly better than I've ever felt before. Maybe the strongest I've ever felt about a girl, this soon at least. But recently I found out she'd been seeing multiple other guys while dating me, including a long time friends with benefits. To be fair, we haven't had the exclusivity talk, and I don't judge her for this, but I can't lie and say it didn't make me feel pretty bummed. My takeaway was that she must not want a relationship with me and probably doesn't

like me that much, or at least as much as I thought she did based on our time together. So I told her something came up and I couldn't make our next date, and then began backing off completely from her, thinking she'd get the hint. She started texting me, I would say with escalating levels of frustration. First text was something like, where have you been? They evolved into texts like, what the fuck dude, I'm not trying to be clingy, but what's going on? Most recent texts today said, hey, I thought things were going really good with us, I'd like to understand what went wrong. I don't really understand why she texted me this much if she's not interested in a committed relationship. Like I made it clear I wasn't looking to just be added to the rotation like this,

but now I feel like I need to end things more formally. Since I'm already moving on, I don't think there's any need to get into the details of why, so I'm just going to text her, hey, it wasn't working for me anymore, but I wish you the best of luck. How's it sound? Is it too cold? Is a phone call required? Do I even need to let her know? I'd be open to hearing any advice on how I should end this. I mean, like, you could have stopped the question when he was like,

I didn't have the exclusive video talk. Yeah, dude, you're not exclusive. She can date whoever she wants. We've talked about this a thousand times. This is dating. Dating is seeing people. And until you find someone that you do want to have that conversation with, and again, it doesn't even have to be an exclusivity. It can just be like a, hey, I would like to choose you as a partner. And let's make some rules and boundaries and framework for our relationship moving forward. Until you have that conversation, whether you're going monogamous,

whether you're setting the boundaries and rules for a poly situation, it's so dumb to be like, oh, she was seeing people, like she was having a sex life and a dating life before me? Yeah. Yeah. Yes, dude. Everyone did. Sorry.

Even if this was a year in, you have no like to stand on it hasn't even been a month dude yeah hasn't even been a fucking month and you're like oh she met me we didn't have this chat and she didn't immediately discard every single person she was talking to like also i would love to know how he knows this because clearly she hasn't disclosed it to him or like it doesn't seem like they've had a conversation about it so it's like i don't even know that he knows this and isn't just assuming this because he makes a lot of fucking assumptions and it's wild to me that he makes assumptions in this and then later on acts as if the assumptions he made previously in the post are now fact well i would wager that she probably did tell him because it seems right like being like

she's seeing other people including a friend like that seems like a that kind of specificity seems strange to like pull out your ass like i don't know it feels to me like he feels like betrayed and blindsided like i would love to know how he found out you know if we had a conversation i would assume i don't know like it could have just been like she was like oh hey just heads up like a normal human being like i'm seeing other people maybe she had that conversation and that was his big like oh what the fuck you're a communicative partner who wanted to give me the lay of the land before we got into something more serious because that's how dating works like the fact

that she honestly the thing of being like she's not interested in me is the dumbest thing in this quote well probably the exclusivity conversation hey there's a lot like he's like oh i don't understand why she would see other people obviously she's not interested me it's like what that's not how it works you're so early you, like you yourself are like, oh, I think I actually really like this person. It's like, yeah, you're also in that stage of developing feelings and getting there. It's not like, oh, I see someone and I'm seeing other people because I don't like that person. There's no hope from the get go doomed. But if I do meet someone that there might be a hope with, I immediately discard and i'm exclusive and that didn't work out shit like that's not how it works

you see people till you know them and also if you're worried that they don't want an exclusive relationship guess what you could do yeah you have that conversation you could say hey this going really well like even if you're not asking them out you could be like what are you like looking for like yeah and if they say oh yeah i'm interested in one like obviously you know i'd love to get to know you better and we can see great if she's like oh that's not a thing for me then you can act accordingly but clearly communication not this guy's fucking strong suit and i will say applauds to this girl for the second time yeah because she's like hey i'm following up i'm not really sure what's going on here and like that's a tough thing to do to just be like hey like i feel you're slipping away you're being cold like and she's being very upfront and honest she's which is why that's the thing is like which

is why i feel like she probably told him the situation like for me the idea of being like you have a long-standing you know friends with benefits situation that should be ended because you're now seeing me where we don't know if this is going to go anywhere but i would like you to stop having sex with someone that obviously you enjoy having sex with because you've been doing it for so long and then exclusive but you should be exclusive yeah like this mentality is and i know we've talked about it it makes no sense to me where people are like we haven't had the exclusivity talk or we've just started seeing each other and i don't want them to see anyone else then it's like so the second you start dating someone you want to be exclusive with them because that's what you're

saying if the second you go on your first date with someone and you want to go on a second date, neither of you can no longer date anyone else. Neither of you can see anyone. Neither of you can have sex with anyone. That's what you want? That the second you agree to a second date, you guys are exclusive? That's insanity. Hey, guess what? If if that was the case if that was kind of like the commonly held standard this person would be upset that they were seeing someone before the first date because they're already not going with the general standard which is although judging by the fucking comments on this you would not believe who they support yeah anyone know some bullshit?

Let's throw some oil on the fire here. I'm trawling through his comments. We had the what are you looking for talk, and both expressed we were looking for a long-term relationship. Great. So, you're dumber than I thought, dude. Yeah. Like, for me, it's like, remember, my dude, you're the new guy.

She has people that she likes, right? She has people that she is seeing, and presumably being satisfied by if it's a long-standing friends with benefits relationship. You're the new dude in town, and therefore, you have some

ground to earn in order for her to be like, oh, I have all of this in my life that I really, really enjoy. She's not going to be like, oh, I have all of this in my life that I really, really enjoy. She's not going to be like, hey, dude, I just met. I'm going to throw away all of my relationships and all of my past. It's so crazy to me that...

Judging by this post, that's a very wise move on her behalf as well. Mm-hmm. I mean, it's like that with anyone. When I was dating, the amount of people... Thankfully, in my most recent stint of anything when I was dating the amount of people I mean thankfully in my my most recent stint of dating I was very very picky

and pretty much only dated people or hooked up with people that I already knew and already hooked up with like there were very few new additions to my dating life specifically because like the few that I did go on I was like man y'all have not

learned anything like i have a show for you that perhaps it is our show it is my show if you don't join the patreon we'll die so i like you just need remember, when you're walking into someone's dating life, when you meet someone, they have a history. And you introducing yourself into someone's life is the smallest trickle. For now. Yeah. Right? You're a drop. You're a little footnote.

You're a drop in the pond. You might make some ripples, which might turn into waves, which might make, you know make the dam break and you guys flood in and mix your pools together. But for now, you're just a bloop, right? And that is all you can expect to be. That's all you should want to be. You're giving nothing but a dollop. Yeah, you're getting the opportunity to affect someone's life. And then you need to put your best foot forward and your best self forward and earn a place in their life. And hopefully they, you know, they do the same and yada yada.

But like, that's what dating is. Like, you don't walk in, you don't fucking kick in the door, grab everyone by the fucking collar, toss them out and be like, this is my house now. That's not how it works. Yeah. So take it works. Yeah. So take it easy. Relax. And this young lady, this dude, he's a fucking idiot. You seem to have your shit together.

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camp. we're back we are and it's my question turn right it is your I got more, though. We can pull a bamboozle and never get to the question. Do we wanna just try to, like, speedrun some of these? Let's do it. Yeah, I got fucking three lined up. Let's go. This is FreshArmy 6737. What is what I'm into called? How can I tell guys up front? I wanna be deeply

desired and almost worshipped. I want to seem powerful and that displeasing me would be a mistake, but not be of dominatrix, because I have no desire to hurt or to grade a man. I'm also not a prude. We can do pretty much anything, but it has to involve making me believe that he thinks he is the

luckiest man alive and I am a powerful goddess. Is this just normal? Is it a kink? Does it have a name? And can I find any porn on it to show guys what I want? Praise kink? I would say it's a praise kink. Or find any porn on it to show guys what I want? Praise kink? I would say it's a praise kink. Or like a twist on a praise kink.

You want to be worshipped? Great. All you have to do is be like, hey, I have a praise kink. And here are the things that I like here. The verbiage and the words that sort of like really do it for me. And I would, as a dominant guy, as someone who like tends to skew on the dominant side, I would be so happy to appease this.

Like, it sounds like so much fun to just be like, oh, all I have to do is be like, I love fucking you, and really just sort of like gush about how much fun i'm having like yeah man that's sure if that's what's gonna get you there absolutely and i think on top of that do some research yourself and not in a do your own research hate vaccines kind of way but just look up like aftercare and make sure that you then also provide because like the danger with things like this is if it's imbalanced.

Like if it's all about him worshipping you. And you being like yeah. I'm it. I'm the goddess. If that's all that happens. There could be a point where they feel a little. Like hey what about me. Like everyone wants to feel loved.

A desired. So look into aftercare. In a way that you then. Either when it ends. Or during. Have a way to like. Fill up their cup a little bit. and i would say that like perhaps i think an afterwards situation would be good because like for me again as someone who gives dominant like i think if someone was like oh you're a good boy i think

that would take me out of it like i don't want to be like almost condescended during this i want to be a participant in talk to your partner and be like hey where do you see what they're comfortable with yeah right because like they might want to be called a good boy and they might want to be like oh you're doing such a good job like that might be it for them as well so it's like yeah great green lights across the board that's the thing you need to be communicative because like from your side of things, it also might not be too far from like you could be like that goddess figure in a way that is kind of like praiseworthy and like equal. Or you could also be like condescending or like dismissive and people might not be into that. So communication, that's about it.

But look up a praise link and you know, there are aspects of like domination there as well so like look that up yeah all right that was so quick uh this is commercial ad 90 how much did i fuck up saying a random thing during sex last night i 26 year old male was having sex with a girl 20 year old female i've been seeing for a month during the act i randomly remembered we may have forgotten our leftovers at the restaurant that we went to before she came over. Because I'm stupid, I impulsively blurted out, This is random. Did we forget our food at the restaurant? In a halfway joking manner.

She got offended and asked, This is what you're thinking about? Not me? I tried to recover. I explained I have ADD, which is true, and I've previously told her. I told her my mind races, and even though when I have sex with her, I am 99% focused on her, random thoughts will pop in my head that this happens both during sex and just doing anything. This is also true. I told her I think about her a lot, even when I'm not with her. She seemed to accept my answer, but she remarked, I'll remember this. I think jokingly,

but I'm not sure. We come from different cultures. I'm American. She's Ukrainian. There may have been a lot lost in translation. To be clear, I actually like this girl. We had sex like five times and both came a bunch. I also take her places and do fun activities with her. Overall, I truly believe I treat her well both inside and outside the bedroom. So who she sees, I am into her. Anyways, how bad did I screw up? Would you be offended if a guy blurted out what I said during sex is it weird that the second he was like oh she's ukrainian i was like oh yeah she was joking like the i'll remember this i don't know why but like she's not she's not joking at all no she's joking like i don't know why but like the second i was like oh okay yeah no this is this was her being like you're a fucking idiot but this is fine at least my guess would be that yes i'm assuming like we make we make jokes because what's like the game where it's like thing will remember this. Yes. Telltale.

Yeah. Maybe she a big gamer. Maybe that's it too. It's a wild thing to mean in a threatening way. You know what I mean? Yeah. And like there's like a severity to that world's, like, sense of humor. Like, that part of the world has a very sort of distinct...

Deadpan, like, yeah. Yeah, like, flavor of humor, and that, like... I think you're okay. Look, in my opinion, this is a growing moment. This is a moment where, like, you're not having sex with someone and posturing. And I think it's funny when you have kind of a casual conversation while you're fucking right. Like that to me is a very intimate, very important, very like grounded thing that couples can do where sex is now an act of intimacy. And like, I'm not saying always be like while you're having sex

talking hey here's my five yeah but like i think there's something kind of sweet and very intimate when you're having sex with someone especially someone like you care about someone you've been seeing for a considerable amount of time where you can kind of have like a little conversation or like say things that aren't directly tied to sex. I think that is very sweet. Yeah, we talk about all the time about like laughing and letting your guard down during sex. And I feel like this was it. And it's like, hopefully she was also joking with the, oh, you're not thinking about me. I will say you you gotta be careful. You can't get too funny during sex, because I once said it's Morbin time,

and un-came, and like sucked my own cum back up my dick while cumming somehow, and it really hurt, so be careful. They've ruined it for everybody. Damn it, Morpheus. Can you just let us know one thing? Morbius? Morbius, not Morpheus. Lawrence Fishburne, you're okay.

It's Jared Leto we have a problem with Jared Leto you give me my comeback right now Please Just find out whatever platform He's on whatever social media platform He's on and message him everyday Be like you owe me some cum Jared Leto Give me my dollar

My comeback Keep going we got time Let's fucking do time at least one more mad mat 1980 match with a girl on bumble it expired any ideas how I can get best results with a cold DM on Instagram hey friends match with a really attractive girl on bumble looks wise she's

exactly my type but she didn't message me in time I then saw on Instagram we've 10 mutual friends I'd love to take a shot and DM her but I realize I'm to look low value and risks even creepy. That said, I don't have much to lose. Just wondering, anyone out there have suggestions on high converting openers or angles I could do to get a response? Thanks a ton. All the words for guessing which subreddit this came from.

Gee, I wonder. Is it seduction? Whoa, you're a genius. I had a dream I was a sexy baby. I just don't know what that means. No one knows what it means. It's a Taylor Swift lyric, word for word, exactly as she says it. Fair.

You can, there is an option to extend your time on Bumble. So if you want to take another shot at it, pay that $4 or whatever. Niall's shaking his head. Look, you make some presumptions here. She didn't message me in time. She wasn't going to message you, dude.

Do you think she came back and was like, oh, no. I mean, the Bumble thing is like, there have been times where like oh i did not i saw the message i was at work i forgot about it and did not message you back i am sorry but this is different right this is where the girl has to reach out first right yes but i believe you have to respond in 24 hours as well or it expires yeah but she didn't message him yeah i'm just saying they probably have a flood of matches so like it's very easy that like they just didn't have

time or were busy so like so if you want to if you want but yes that's what i'm saying right i was gonna guess this guy's profile is a bag of shit so she didn't match with him yeah maybe she matched and then looked at it and it was like hey i want to cold open you at the eden center girl so just my thing is like pay for the fucking pay the four dollars reopen this match if she doesn't send you a message like you get a message being like they extended your time she knows you're interested right and if she sees that and she doesn't low value then hey have low value? Then, hey, so is fucking being like, you didn't get enough time to message me on Bumble, so I found

you on Instagram. Like, it's the same shit, right? Like, it's you being like, pick me. There's no way that you messaging them on Instagram is gonna be cool. No, and like, could it work? Sure. Is it a possibility that she's like, oh, shit, you know, 10 people that I know, like, okay, maybe.

But like, again, Instagram isn't stalkery. A hundred percent. Yeah. And also, like, I know a lot of people and a lot of people I know have been on online dating. And guess what? None of them have ever said to me, me hey this guy i match with or saw online found me on my social media and messaged me and it was cool but i have definitely heard people say hey you want to hear one of the top 10 creepiest things that's ever happened to me a guy found my

social media after we did or didn't match on you know and they fucking messaged me like my partner one of her most creepy online dating things was people finding her either on her LinkedIn or her Instagram and being like, oh, I saw you on the dating app. I'm like, we didn't match, but how about we do? Yeah.

No, it's not good. Don't do it. Don't do it. If you want to take the risk, do what Dane said. If not, move on gracefully. Yeah. And hey, dude,

if they're in your social circles, maybe you'll bump into them some other time. If they are in your social circle and you know a person who knows them, be like, hey, next time we're out, do you mind introducing me? And then, like, that is a more genuine connection than being like, yeah, I found you online. And then I went through some effort to find your personal thing. Just don't do it. It's weird. It's creepy.

And as now said, like most women are like, hey, we hate this. That's- I think we're gonna- Very last one. Let's blast it. Okay, we gotta blast it quick then.

Competitive Mix, 9079. Lied about his age. Found out he's 23 years older. How do I confront him? Gave him multiple chances to come clean. He kept denying it. I had the chance to look at his ID when he was gone and I saw his actual age. I wasn't shocked, but I'm pissed how he keeps lying when he obviously knows I know something up. Is that the whole question?

Well, there's an edit. I found makeup in his bag. It confirmed everything I already thought. Is he putting makeup on to seem younger? Is he juicing himself up? What was the age again? They don't say what their actual ages are, but he is 23 years older than either her

or what he said. That's just crazy. Unless he looks fucking great. Unless he doesn't. If she's like, dude, no, you're not that age. She's like, oh yeah, hold on. He puts his makeup on. See? Yeah. Unless he's Paul Rudd.

I would imagine that if if someone was like if someone my age like if i went on a date with someone and they were like i'm 36 and but they're actually fucking 59 i think i would know well now he does that's the best part imagine you're like how do you bring that up like are you because like you're either saying you're a liar or you look like shit well yeah i mean like i guess it's like just being like if someone rolled in again i i think there's but their walker age is like weird right so it's like if these people if she's like 18 right and he's 20 years older oh yeah he'd be 41 wouldn't he yeah no

you're not tall enough 18 at 41 my dude this is fucking Riverdale where all the high school students are fucking in their 40s again it would be one thing if she was like I only found out because he left his ID and now I'm in shock as opposed to

I kept saying it he kept lying I found his ID I'm not even surprised if I found out because he left his ID, and now I'm in shock, as opposed to, I kept saying it, he kept lying, I found his ID, I'm not even surprised. If I found out he was 23 years older than claimed, and I wasn't surprised, you look like shit, dude. I mean, so my thing is just like, I've never understood

people who lie about their age, because like, it is almost always obvious, and like, eventually it's gonna always obvious and like eventually it's gonna come out like eventually you're gonna have to have a birthday party it's for me i would just be like look i saw your id i know your x like age the fact that you're lying to me and so committed to thinking that you're at this age is weird and i don't want to be a part of it and then leave like that is the only lying is a pretty bad red flag. Yeah.

Especially something with concerted effort. If you find yourself in the need to rummage through your date's bag for evidence and you're not somehow in a Riverdale revenge plot thing, it's real life and you're just suspicious of them, that's probably a sign

that you need to not date this person. There's definitely been times where like I've thought someone was young and I was like, I should ID this person. I don't know. And then like in those situations, it's like, bye. Like, I'm not. No, I'm gone. Bye. Oh, he's leaving.

Let's do some. Let's do some quick tenders. Hit me. At the end of the episode, we'd like to jump onto online dating platforms such as Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and peruse the profile, see what works, see what doesn't work, in an effort to make your online dating experience a little more enjoyable. Now, on the plus side, everyone we

come across on this, I'm going to find them on Instagram and message them personally. It'd be weird if you didn't. Here we go. This is Sarah. Let me open up this profile. A broad, curvy broad.

Not trying to look like a Kardashian. Soft-hearted and down-to-earth. Witty and whimsical with a good vocabulary and a heavy dose of sarcasm. Awkward AF. Thrifter. Crafter. Quilter. Gardener.

Food lover. Westender. Homebody. Hmm. I like most of it. I could do with less of, and I think as a rule, everyone should get rid of this. Like one saying you're sarcastic is really weird. No one needs to know that.

And it's generally seems like code for you being shitty to describing yourself in a way that is up to others to determine. I don't like that. In what way? Isn't she like witty something? Yeah, witty and whimsical. Leave that to people. If I'm like, oh, I'm really funny, that's a weird thing to say, and that's basically you saying you're witty. I think that's for other people to determine,

not for you. I do like that you give us your hobbies. I do like the joke broad broad at the start i don't love the not trying to look like a kardashian because i'm not really sure what you're angling out there but it feels a little yeah a lot of people forget that body shaming can go two ways right like it's not just on sort of like atypical bodies or bodies that aren't represented in the media as beauty standard like there are skinny women they exist just naturally and you know i mean like not every woman who is thin

is starving themselves or trying to be thin some of them are just petite and the same thing with like some some women are curvy some women are you know the body types just because they exist don't mean that like they have put in concerted effort to a certain way because of a certain reason. It's like some people just look the way they look. That's fine. Yeah. So it's like, don't body shame people just because that's not what you want.

Like that's fine. If you're not actively trying to look like a Kardashian, then live your life. We don't need to know it. I also don't really know what that means. Is it a skinny thing? Is it a plastic surgery thing? Is it a slut shaming thing? Is it like, I don Is it a plastic surgery thing? Is it a slut-shaming thing? Is

it, like, I don't know. So, I don't love it. So, I'll give it a 6. Yeah, I also do not know. This is Vanessa. Things turn out best for those who make the best of the way things turn out. Fair. That it? That's all Vanessa gives

us. I believe the original quote is things turn out best for those well-supported on Patreon Once again, Vanessa, you dropped You dropped the ball It's fine, it gives me nothing about you It's super boring, I'll give it a 4 Yeah Because it kind of wasted my time

It did I don't need your philosophy This is Mel German, flight attendant So if you can't handle distance, I'm not the one for you Also not looking for a random hookup Sorry if that's what you're looking for Don't let the babyface fool you

See, I know nothing about you Other than that you're German, have a babyface And are a flight attendant So not much to make my decision on Now, strangely I was like, she doesn't have her age But her age is there So I was like she didn't have her age but it does her age is there so I was like the baby face comment was making me nervous well what age is

she she's 26 is does she look very young she she looks pretty young yeah okay is she 23 years older than what she says is she 49 maybe 23 years is a long time, man. 23 years is a wild move to joke about or like to lie about. Wild move. Let's do one final profile here. I'll give that one a five. This is Saba. I love to sing, dance, and share my art with others. I'm always up for exploring and trying new things.

Enjoy to explore the world and discovering new experiences. Respect is my top priority. I believe in not judging a book by its cover, but I do have a soft spot for tall, strong folks, because I believe that big hugs have great healing power. It's alright. It's kind of cute. I feel like they just said the same thing twice

at the start. Just... Yes. Different words. Yeah. And it's all a little, like, meh. I don't know. Nothing's compelling here, right? Nothing's exciting. Nothing really gives me much about this person. They seem fine. I'll give them a six.

Yeah. Yeah, I think that's it. You've given me nothing. It was unexciting. That's going to do it for us, friends. Thank you very much. As we've mentioned, if you want to support the show, and we would greatly appreciate it if you did, you can head on over to patreon.com slash fbuddies or fbuddiespodcast.com and click the Patreon link.

You can also, while you're on the website, send in a question. Click the clon- Well, clon-tac. Click the clon-tac. Just throwing in L's wherever I want. Yeah, click contact. Send us a message. We keep things completely anonymous,

and we'll try to answer your question as soon as possible. Yeah. Thank you, Josh Eagle and the Harvest Cities for their song, Paper Stars. And I actually have a pretty fun game planned for our next Patreon episode. Ooh. So, I just thought about it on the way home. So. Ooh.

Who knows? Maybe we'll do that. Are you ready for some bad sex writing? Yeah. It's a rental listing. Your favorite. Oh boy. I have a room for rent in my home.

It's a three bedroom, one bathroom bungalow. Pretty well appointed. Location is, not going to dox this person. I'm a single male in my 50s. Looking for female roommate. Compatible and comfortable with an open adult lifestyle environment. That is also okay with doing the majority of cooking and cleaning in the house. Rent is on a scale based on requirements and terms, but no lower than $500.

Choice of room. Large or small. Furnished or unfurnished. Parking required or not. Do you have a cat or a dog? Short or long term. So the minimum you can pay to fuck this man and do his cooking and cleaning is 500 and that's if you want small unfurnished room with no pets and no parking for sure it seemed like those were options yeah but he says 500 is minimum and based on those answers it will get

higher oh gotcha gotcha gotcha so look he didn't say anything about sex he said an open adult lifestyle oh sorry open adult lifestyle environment. Ooh, environment. See? So maybe there's just fucking happening around. Maybe he's just got his balls out. Yeah, he's got, like, top shaft. Like, he's got real.

Yeah, exactly. He's got little, you just get to see little old man pukes. Showing the root. Now, do you think this man is actually 73? I can only assume. My name is Dane Miller. And I'm Miles Payne. And we've been your fuck buddies.