F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 300 - Meat Two-bes & Meet Two-ties

Episode Date: July 15, 2024

We celebrate our unbroken streak of 300 episodes by returning to where it all started.  Join us for an episode of introspection, disappointing sodas and the advice you've come to love. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love Hello friends, my name is Dave Miller And I'm Niall Spain And we're your fuck buddies again for the 300th time. For the 300th time.

The 300th. Why did we both say that? I don't know. I don't know what you said. We haven't even started yet. We're a sex and dating advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situation and turn them into sexy, sticky situations. Simply put, we haven't missed a week in 300 weeks.

Oh, God. It's going to blow. Hell yeah. And we're popping some fucking wine. We're in the closet. We love you. We earned this, I think. To simply put it simply, we are Sex and Negativized Podcast

finding questions either roaming the wilds of the internet or from our wonderful listeners. I'm letting you hear Dane pour. Yeah, I don't know if this is picking up or not, but it's probably picking up a little bit. Oof. Yeah, you can hear those sweet bubbles. Them sweet bubbles them sweet bubbles and when we do this and in the last 300 i keep almost at 300 years it did feel like it certainly

feels like it sometimes in the last 300 episodes we have had some incredible interactions with some incredible people we've had some incredible guests we've done some really cool live shows we've played in the woods we've won some awards and uh we've done some really cool live shows. We've played in the woods. We've won some awards. And we've sweated out enough to drown the entire city of Toronto. It's true. That's the lamest clink. Yeah, I know these glasses are not clinkable. In this very closet. And we love you.

So cheers. It's funny. There's currently a strike at the LCBO, which is our sort of like provincial alcohol shop, which doesn't make any sense for anyone probably outside of Ontario. I think everywhere else is regular people, but there's a monopoly on alcohol sales here in Ontario, and you

have to go to sort of like government-run things. So it was a challenge to get some sparkling wine, but I was able to do it through my backwoods contacts. A man opened up a van and yeah there's a guy you buy in he brews uh sparkling wine from the sap of ill trees yeah in the swamps of alberta and dane dingo the hookup known swamps of alberta the prairies yeah the the wine is a dark green

color actually you have something else that you've been teasing. I do. And I'm so scared. Before we enjoy this sparkling wine too much. Dane brought like a very sketchy bag in here and has been teasing some nightmare thing he's brought. And his face is terrifying. I think you should maybe, you want to do video. So pop up in the camera because I think we're going to want to try these. This is me in terror. Yep.

You ready? This is Dane. Are you ready for them? What are you popping? What is this? Are you ready for this? What's this? Oh, it's a Warhead sour blue raspberry soda.

This is amazing. I was so scared. I thought you were going to like ruin my life. No, no, no. It's I mean, they could be disgusting. Sour Warheads are very sour. Yeah, but my sour tolerance is much like my spice tolerance. We're like, just abuse me.

Same, same. Abuse me, fucking wardrobe papa. War daddy. War daddy. So that's what we're going to pop before we, I mean, maybe together? Yeah, let's do it. Are they both the same? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are we making mimosas out of these? That's what I'm thinking. I think we make the most disgusting. They're going to be so abusively sweet. Yeah. I'm going to try it by itself first. Yeah, of course.

It's just delicious. This is nothing. It's just delicious. It tastes like someone, yeah, it just tastes like someone melted a... A blue frizzy. Yeah. These are delicious. They are. When you said you picked it up at a convenience store, the way you, or a corner store, the way you said it, I thought it was going to be like black cat like dick fucking drink those things that make you

virile yes i've the the feeling of wanting to try those things every time i'm in a there's a there's a corner store right by a bar i frequent and anytime i pop in for like late night snacks i see them there i'm just like do they work what do they do what are they poison are they poison yeah it's like are they gonna enlarge your heart four times the size of your dick yeah well if it gets lost instead of going to dick it goes to heart or somewhere worse i just assume they're like heart attack pills like i assume that's it's like oh don't worry about your erectile difficulties because you'll die yeah it's cured just not the way you want yeah um are you ready? Yeah, I think so. I do want to say, because you said something very nice,

and I want to say something nice so I don't feel left out. This has been a wild ride. And to make it to 300 feels surreal. It feels very fucking weird. But I'm very glad that we're here. And I'm hyped. I'm excited. I'm in a good mood.

I'm vibing. Yeah, I'm loose i'm i'm loving it and i will say like i think the people you who are around you like if you have cool friends you're like okay i must be pretty cool you know what i mean because sometimes it's hard to look at yourself objectively or even if you do you're always going to be like i suck but like we have the coolest fucking listeners yeah like we really do like everyone we've talked to so cool everyone who comes to the show so cool like and that's such a fucking mark of like honor you know i mean that means we're doing something right so thank you guys for being cool yeah because if you sucked i'd be like shit

man yeah fuck episode 300 of making the world worse maybe um so dame what are we talking about this week we're talking about the show and how we made it sure but i got some questions first oh does anyone have any good ideas for first dates that aren't a meal in a movie? Yeah. There's 300 episodes in which we talk about it. Okay. Which, any episode in particular they should listen to? The Patreon.

Yeah. We did a specific Patreon about this that will break it down for you. Hey, let me tell you. Have I forgotten to upload that? Yeah, I just realized that. Yep. Yep. I have not uploaded that yet. Hey, by the time this is out, maybe, hopefully, it's. Break it down for you. Have I forgotten to upload that? Yeah, I just realized that. Yep, yep. I have not uploaded that yet.

Hey, by the time this is out, maybe. Hopefully. They don't know. This is the future. It's true. We can put it up and you're still correct. Yeah. Okay, that one's easy.

Does anyone else feel increasing pressure to make relationship decisions earlier on so you don't risk wasting anyone's time? Does anyone else project into the future and think, oh, nah, fuck that. He, she is X, Y, Z. It may not work out long term i may as well end it now so i don't risk wasting anyone's time i think as as i'm approaching my mid or i'm as i'm in my my mid 30s and and creeping towards my late 30s uh yeah i think there's a lot of people and i've heard a lot of stories uh recently someone told me about the fact that like someone kind of cornered their partner and was like i need assurances that this is the last relationship i'll be in wild thing to

say which is a crazy thing to say because no one can promise even with like i could get married and stand in front of my family and friends and god and jibo and if god if you believe them uh and be like i'm going to love you forever till death do us part. And that could still not be true. Right. So it's like, I don't understand why trying to to browbeat someone into making a false promise is it is any more valid than like just writing it out. You know, the part in Team America where she's like, I'll sleep with you, but only if you promise to never die. He's like, I promise that's that's what you're doing in this situation, basically. So I think like, yes, I understand maybe the fear or the terror, but rushing things is never going

to harm you or cutting things off before you're sure. So I think in these situations- Is it rushing things are never going to harm you? The opposite of that. Yeah. Rushing things will harm. No, that's the complete opposite of the thing I said. Don't rush things, but also cutting things off too. No, that's the complete opposite of the thing I said. Don't rush things, but also cutting things off too soon for fear that you'll waste someone's time, I think is shitty for you, but it's also shitty for them because they're not part of that decision. And I think the cure for this is much like when people are like, I just want to talk to someone and have them be exclusive to me from the first time I see them. We're not official,

but we're not dating anybody else. That's the only scenario in which you're wasting someone's time. Yeah. Right. Like if you make them do it, if they want to do it themselves, whatever. But like, if you guys are still seeing other people and open and having fun and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you're not wasting their time because they're allowed to see other people. And you know, once you're open about where you're at and you're not lying and you're not like, oh yeah, I want a relationship, but you don't. I guess, I guess I'm, I'm looking at this from the phase of, or like from the, from the mindset of like, you're already dating someone and there, but yes, you are correct. If you're not dating, if you're single, I guess it's both. Cause it's just relationship decisions earlier.

So it could be at the start. It could be, you know, um, if you're together and you're not sure about marriage, but they are, I think you just need to keep an open dialogue. That's it. I think you need to be, as we get older, I think we, our priorities and what we want become a little clearer, right? For me, I don't want kids, right? So it's very important for me to find a partner who also doesn't want kids because I think where you get into the wasting your time, and this is kind of what you were touching on is like, if I start dating someone who's like, I, i my my number one calling in life is to be a mother that's fucked it's a bad idea not not that if you want it's fucked if you waste their time yes it's fucked if i know full well that i never want to have kids i do not want

kids they're they're not in my plan at all not to say that that might change right but to to know that it's so unlikely that i want kids and being like could change and and to either feed them hope of being like i could change my mind at any moment that's where you waste time yes right and like being clear being like i don't want to get married and someone is like a marriage is the most important thing to me then you need to communicate and then look at that and be like okay well how how important are those two things if the person who doesn't want to get married just doesn't care about getting married then like again for me i don't i don't want to get married but if i was with someone who it was important to i would probably be like yeah we can get married i i'm gonna like we're

gonna meet in the middle and we're gonna find like a compromise to it yeah it's not gonna be religious it's not gonna be huge it's not gonna be huge it's not gonna cost us well you're not gonna waste 40 grand really why like those what are you gonna do spend that on your life or a holiday or your house or something yeah important why can you waste on a shitty day you're gonna get too drunk and not enjoy so it's like those are those things to people with weddings i just i'm poor uh it's it's one of those things where i i think like that's how you you you only waste people's time when you're disingenuous and dishonest. Yes. I think.

And I think like if you don't know, that's valid. But you need to explain that. You know what I mean? You not knowing doesn't mean you have to make a decision and just be like, fuck it, let's get married. Or I'll never get married. And then two weeks later, you're like, shit. Like you can just say, hey, I don't know. And if they're frustrated, sure.

But like if you're being honest, you'd be like, hey, I'm sorry. I am unsure. I don't really know. You seem to be sure you're giving them the knowledge they need. Or if you're wasting their time, they can bail. Yeah. As much information as you have being presented at the time of. And also, I've talked about this with a lot of people where it's like having a conversation

once isn't enough. There's a lot of people who it's like having a conversation once isn't enough. There's a lot of people who think that like, oh, well, we had our expectation talk. Oh, they know I'm not looking for X, Y, and Z. Oh, I'm blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, sure, you had that conversation once, but things change constantly. And if you think that the conversation you had on your first date is the same, like you are in the same place and want the same things as six month a year or two years down the line no it's like those are things that like you need to talk about

constantly yeah and also when you know it's changed for you especially you need to bring it up it's your responsibility to impart that knowledge whether it's a full conversation or just a like hey just a heads up i know i said i didn't want to be exclusive, but I'm finding myself more inclined to just want to be with you. And exclusivity isn't off the table for me. I'm interested in pursuing that. And then if they want it, you can talk about it. If they don't want it, guess what?

You still talk about it. Yeah. And they could be like, hey, cool. I'm not there yet. And then you are great. Perfect. You know where I'm at. If your position changes, let's have a conversation and I'll let you know if for whatever reason exclusivity like maybe i meet someone in six

months you know what i mean like it's yeah you you constantly are moving and dynamic and i think that's where a lot of people fuck up in there and they do the communication but they do it once yeah and it's like okay good start but then you fucked up by calling it there yeah because i know a lot of people who in their 20s either that i dated or I'm friends with who are like, I'm never going to get married. I never want to have a family. All of the family. Yes.

And, and it's not through like, oops, it happened or, or they settled or whatever. It's just that, you know, in their twenties when they were 23 and,

you know, partying and going out and young and hot, they not, not that they're not hot now, but you know what I mean? It's like, they're not young hot. Not that they're not hot now. But you know what I mean? They're not young. They're not young. They're in their 30s.

Whoa. Decrepit. Their priorities change. All of a sudden, as they get older, they're like, actually, no. I found a person that I do want to spend my life with. I found someone that I do want to raise a family with. And that's fine. Well, literally, when I met my current partner,

when we both started like going on regular dates, we were like, hey, I was like, look, I just got out of a shitty relationship. Again, not that recently, but like enough that I wasn't in the mood for a relationship. So I was like, I'm not looking for a relationship. And she was like, yes, I also am not. And then two months, maybe three months later,

we were at like a party and I was referred to as her boyfriend. So I took her side later. I was like, Hey, that word was kind of thrown around. I want to make sure we're still on the same page. And it was kind of a, like someone brought it up, not them. And like, we talked and we reestablished where, what we were and it was great. But like, if we had left either of those two things, that would have been bad. And then later on, when things changed, we brought up, Hey, I do want to be exclusive. And it was great. Like we checked in multiple times and things did change. And if we hadn't done that, it would have been a mess. Yeah. And I think like if, if a lot of the times, if, if what you're looking for is, is what you like, I think pushing people into corners is

a good way to not get what you want or get what you want in the worst way. Well, what i mean it's like i think you might think you got what you want yes you you've convinced someone to give you what you want despite the fact that they're not willing to give what you want so what you want is them to give it willingly yeah so so i i think if everyone just took a breath and i understand that there are biological clocks a ticking uh and i understand that, like, all that kind of stuff. But, you know, there's always options, right? There's surrogacy. There's adoption. So it's like, I think it's weird.

And I think this is a problem that's put on women a lot where they're like, you hit 40 and you're useless. You're just a husk of a woman. Like, give up. And I think that's fucked up. Yeah, because sometimes you can become a husk in your 30s. Yeah. I know women who are husks in their 20s. There's nothing worse in that situation

than marrying someone shitty or having a kid with someone when you're not ready or who you don't like. Those are worse than not getting married and not having a kid. Having a kid with someone who's also not ready and then the kid fucking suffers. Or you suffer or both. Now we the kid fucking suffers. Great. Yeah. Or you suffer or both or like all.

Everyone get another fucking writer out here. Great. Yeah. You got another one of these traumatized artists. What's he going to do? Start a podcast. Fucking wonderful. Great.

Now we've competition and that's your fault. Yeah. Our 300 weeks mean nothing. Nothing. All right. Speaking of breaths, you know what time it is time for some Dane facts. Oh, it's. Oh, we're doing this.

Dane fact number 744. I think it's 47. Oh, I'm not doing it in order. It's kind of all over the place. I'm just weird because you've done the last three or 299 episodes in order. And now you're changing up. That's wild. That's cool, Dane.

I'm an innovator. What can I say? I'm a disruptor. One of my favorite graphic novels, Scott Pilgrim. Amazing. All right, next question. I love that segment.

Throwaway, SSN23456126. How can you make a man who isn't traditionally attractive feel sexy? Recently started seeing a guy who has lost a bit of weight, but he's still unhappy with his current physique. He's also very hairy. Combine that with the fact he's inexperienced and you have a man who can be incredibly self-conscious in bed. I like his body. I get it.

I put on a little pooch, a little tummy a little tummy, uh, after COVID or during COVID, uh, that I've all man brother. Yeah. And that I've, I've had a hard time getting rid of, and it's still, it's still prevalent.

Uh, and when my partner, when we're cuddling or if we're on the couch or whatever, and her hand dress, I like my body recoils. I'm like, Ooh. And I like,

I want to like suck in and I want to like, yeah, you're just tensing for the whole rest of the episode. Yeah. And like, Ooh. And I like, I want to like suck in and I want to like, yeah, you're just tensing for the whole rest of the episode. And like, I know that it's not my partner being malicious at all. You know what I mean? In fact, it's probably a good thing. It's that they aren't going, Ooh, an attractive part. They're like, Oh, great part. Yeah. Or just part. So like, I get it. I understand the,

and I think everyone's got a part of them that they probably, if not multiple, multiple parts where they don't like every part yeah you know i mean where it's like oh they touch my arm or oh they touch my my little my little muffin top hip area like so i think we've all got it i think we can all understand that locations that we don't want to be touched and if you know them if it's if it's the tummy just avoid the tummy yeah right and i and i think that's i don't think it's a hard thing to do now my worry is you avoid it so much that they go yeah i don't think i would notice someone not touching probably not but it depends right but you

you counteract it with verbal words words of affirmation right of like when they're coming out of the shower and they're drying off uh and this is something i my partner makes fun of me because i get very dry after a shower i'm not a i like i we already skipped we already did dame facts man i get so dry um they're always trying to sneak them in every episode and they joke they joke about how like dry again like sometimes crack the like bathroom door open to watch me dry off um but they'll like they'll say nice things about my body and that's a real dry tummy it's also hot yeah um and it's like i think little things like that of just being like god you look good naked just just offhand like that and like don't go overboard but like when you when when the spirit

moves you i think that's a great opportunity to just be like god damn yeah i think like just keep at it keep the positivity and the thing and be honest right like it's better when you're honest you know what i mean you don't just pick like if you know they're hung up on one thing you don't just always say nice tummy nice tummy you got a great time you know what i mean like if you find their fucking legs sexy as fuck say that you know what i mean like sexiness isn't just one area if they feel good about every other area they're still gonna that, you know what I mean? Like sexiness isn't just one area. If they feel good about every other area, they're still going to feel good. You know what I mean? And I think like, it all depends on have they openly told you these things? Because if they have, you can be like, Hey, you look really good. If they're worried about hair, you can be like one,

like I don't find it unattractive. I think it's really attractive. And two, if you want, there are things you can do. You can shave, you can wax, you can do all these things, right? So it's like, if it's a thing they're unhappy about, tell them one that you like it. And to suggest these things, if they, you know, if they are like,

if, if their body hair fucking like, I have a friend who doesn't like their body hair and I have helped them shave their back before. There you go. Like, yeah. So there are, there are ways forward.

Um, but you, you know, keep the positivity, keep it honest. Sometimes you can be a little dishonest and, and, and hone in on the places, you know, keep the positivity, keep it honest. Sometimes you can be a little dishonest and, and, and hone in on the places,

you know, they need it. And when they, when they put it, like, if you guys are going out for date night and they put on an outfit and they, you'd be like, you look fucking great tonight.

Yeah. That's mid sex, but you look so fucking good. Yeah. Like it's, it's so simple. And, and this goes for everyone.

Like, I know this is, even if they're not insecure, like this isn't like a, I'm like, especially as I was going to say, especially men, we are,

we are compliment starved. We, we very rarely get words of affection and, and acts of affection. It's just, it's just a thing that we don't get. And I've talked, I talk about this a lot with,

with my, my friends and the people that I know as friends try to do it. And it's so rare that people who aren't involved are like what's wrong with you guys that's weird oh yeah people people get like visually or you know actually upset with us with how effective we are with one another man i want to be such a scumbag and mix this let's fucking do it yeah okay let's do it god this is upsetting this is we've turned this beautiful bottle into some kind of nightmare. This is... Alright.

Get that in there. Get the Jackson Triggs. Jackson Triggs is actually going to assassinate. They're going to bowing us. Oh no, there's a tragic closet accident in Toronto today. Two corks popped off two bottles of sparkling and went straight through the skulls of

two untalented podcast. Why'd they write that? Why'd they do that? Why'd they do it? So dirty. Cheers. I'm sorry, Jackson and Triggs.

I'm only sorry to Triggs. Honestly, that's not bad. I can't really taste it. No, not all things going in. We're doing if imagine a Somalia was here. One,

to be fair, I think, I think they would be disgusted. Show me that blue. I think they'd be disgusted in the bottle that we've chosen anyway. This was, I think, $20 at the wine rack. $20 ain't bad, but at the wine rack, they add like a $7. That's an LCBO 12.

So I'm sure already the sommelier is spitting in our face. But then for us to pour in the war against God's plan. Look, I'm not ashamed. I'm not ashamed. I'm loving it. I'm feeling I'm feeling I'm vibing. All right. You ready?

What do butterflies feel like? Boyfriend 20 and I 19 have been together for about three years. What do you mean? A few days ago, he said he still feels butterfly in the stomach when I'm around. Made me start thinking. I don't know if I've ever felt butterflies in my stomach before. Maybe I just don't associate what it is with being butterflies. I love him so much.

This isn't an issue. I don't doubt my love for him or his for me. I'm just wondering what it feels like to know if I've ever felt it or not. Thanks for the help. I wish I could remember what we answered or what I said in this one. Hey, let me tell you. Have you solved my riddle? You're going through either our first episodes or our first couple episodes

of questions. It's our very first episode. All of them? Every question. Damn, I don't remember. I did it backwards because I knew this one would be a giveaway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't listen to our responses, but I did scrub through until I found the questions. Because I thought it might be a fun retrospective. We answer them and see what fucking changed.

See how close we get? What if we say the exact same thing? We already won't because we've mentioned COVID and being old. True, true, true, true. We were young. We were young. Bright-eyed, hopeful men. We probably looked very different.

And I know we did because I saw that one picture of us where we looked like just insanely thin. Oh, the, I mean, that's, that was pre, uh, that was pre podcast,

but not by much. That was like 2018 or sorry, 2016 I think was, was the photo that I, yeah. Uh, I mean, I'm sure if we look through our fucking Europe trip too,

which was 2017, which was a year before we started, I'm sure we were back when we could travel when, too, which was 2017, which was a year before we started. I'm sure we were back when we could travel when podcasts didn't have us chained in the closet. I thought you were going to blame COVID. But also, I would say that we've traveled quite a bit because of our podcast. We have now. Yeah, it's flipped.

I imagine butterflies in the tummy feel much like a bee in the closet. Also a joke we couldn't have made. Also a joke we couldn't have made. But God, could we have known the horror? Could we Also a joke we couldn't have made. Also a joke we couldn't have made, but God, could we have known the horror? Could we? No, we couldn't have.

Uh, so I was thinking about this. I don't know if we said this, you get butterflies over other things. Like if you're traveling tomorrow morning and you're like, Ooh, that's butterflies. If you have an exam tomorrow and you're like a little nervous,

that's butterflies. Yeah. It's, it's kind of stress. It's just stress. It's a's kind of stress it's just stress it's a cute word for stress because i like i think the only time i could ever describe or say definitively that i had butterflies in my tummy is that time you ate butter is the time i challenged myself a la joey chestnut to eat as many butterflies as i possibly could no um we're watching the live

joey chestnut thing in November. Sure. Yeah. It's my birthday present to me. If you swallow them frozen, you know how they freeze the butterflies for weddings and stuff? But you gotta freeze them in amber. Yeah.

You swallow them and they thaw out in your tummy and then they're in there just freaking out. No. But the bad thing is like, I don't like this because Dane does this a lot. I have to punch his tummy till they die because he can't poop them out while they're alive also i fucking hate butterflies dane fact i hate butterflies and do you remember dane facts i do remember dane facts like you did it once like episode one you're

like oh dane facts that'll be a segment i did i did a few more than that i'm pretty sure um my partner is currently listening through our catalog again because she's a psychopath uh that i love her oh hold on i have several thoughts i need to finish one butterflies in the tummy the only time My partner is currently listening through our catalog again, because she's a psychopath that I love. Oh, hold on. I have several thoughts. I need to finish one butterflies in the tummy. The only time I can definitively say that I haven't was before auditions. I could remember.

I remember that like feeling. And that was a lot of actors hate auditions. I love them because of that feeling. I like that feeling of like, well, I like that for exams and shit too. I'm like, yeah,

let's go. It hypes me up. Also like before, I know I don't show exams and shit too. I'm like, yeah, let's go. It hypes me up. Also like before, I know I don't show it and I know this pisses you off, but before, uh, before a show, I also get like,

uh, not, not things that I've done multiple times, but things like when we're at fan expo and cons and stuff like that, like, like packs you, I was like sitting up on that stage. You know,

it's weird. Like packs. I got nothing. Oh yeah. Not even at all. I was like this is like it was so casual but it's not freaked me out it's not nerves for me it's it's like yeah yeah it's like it's like oh oh we're no i mean i got nothing like it just kind

of happened i was like oh shit like it's going yeah it's weird it's kind of same with our live shows now i'm just like all right yeah our live shows i could do in my sleep um not that it's bad but just it's that's how good they are yeah it's like it's it's so second nature it's like you want your pilot right now if you're in a plane you want your pilot to be able to do it in their sleep you don't want them to be like oh shit about everything right that's where we are we're fucking pilots man we are pilots we're ear pilots okay now uh i was talking about my my partner and how much i i care about them dearly i think i called her a psycho you did did. Yeah. You've now been canceled.

I need to know this will get me back in the good graces. I need to issue a, an apology, which I believe we also do quite frequently in our early episodes. It's true. About nothing important either. Again, my partner has been listening and I think the only real apology we've issued

after someone messes was that one Kama Sutra account. Yeah. That was really angry that we said, man, couldn't multiple orgasm. And like, I don't know who they are. Cause they never interacted in any other time. Obviously they were a listener at one point. Yeah. Uh, do you still listen? Are you still there? Did you give up? Why do you, why are you out there? Send me a message. Yeah. Um, I did when I was talking about pets and first dates and first meeting her dog, Wyatt. I painted him in an unfavorable light.

And she wanted me to reiterate. She asked me very kindly and very sweetly to issue a an apology. Not an apology. Clarification. That Wyatt was a very good boy, was the goodest boy and was a very sweet dog and was a very lovely dog. See, I knew that. So I didn't even,

it didn't even register. She was, she was worried that people were going to think that he was a bad dog. He was so good. He was, he was, he was a sweet, sweet pup.

Oh, uh, and, uh, he's in a better place now. He's up in doggy heaven. Uh, but he was,

he was an excellent dog. And that is, that is my official statement. And I will not retract it. Um, now I do. We somehow need to talk about meat cubes. heaven uh but he was he was an excellent dog and that is that is my official statement and i will not retract it um now i do we somehow need to talk about meat cubes i don't know at what point meat cubes came in we talked about meat cute we did talk about meat oh was that the first dates maybe fuck man that was yeah we were talking about meat cute and then did you say meat cubes is that i think one of us thought one of us said meat cubes. Okay.

Yeah. Well, who knows? Yeah. It's a little nurse. It's a little jitter in your belly. Yeah. That's what it is. And it's fine not to feel that with people.

I don't know if I've ever felt that way about a person. Again, imagine if your pilot had butterflies. Yeah. I think I felt that as kids when there's just an absolute like gorgeous person and like you start feeling those feelings for the first time of being like, oh, oh, no, there's like before we were all just kindergartens running around doing shit, playing with blocks, playing in the sand, playing in the mud, whatever. And then like once you get like you hit that age, you're just like, oh, there's a new feeling here. Ladies. And you're very cute. I felt that. I'm going to make my whole life about this were you

a girl crazy kid like were you early or were you were you a cooties until no i was like what like it was before secondary school so i probably was like nine or ten oh i was i was early dude i was i was crushing on people in like fucking kindergarten that's like grade one or two that's weird it's fucking they're not into it so what was really funny we used to do kiss chasing in uh in primary school okay in the yard and you'd run you grab some you kiss them and it was really funny because i guess there was a lot of like latent homophobia where the boys wouldn't kiss boys but the girls had cooties so it's like a really stupid game but i would be like i'll kiss the boys like grandma and fucking smooch them. Okay. I was unstoppable. I kissed Chase. I didn't care.

No, it was the juggernaut of kiss Chase. I was, yeah. I'll kiss a boy. Yeah. It was, yeah. I remember being very young when I was like starting to develop crushes. And then I remember like I was girl crazy early. I remember being like young and like the pink Power Ranger, Kelly Kapowski.

Oh, yeah. Like all these like all these all these like see yeah so i don't know i just i don't know i remember like my dreams i had about asking kelly kapowski out to a dance or fucking uh kimberly the pink power ranger out to like a dance let's be fair so hot and my school like didn't have dances well i was gonna say mine didn't either so i mean we did we did once we got into like junior high so like grade six and up we had dances but like i was i was like having dreams about this in my elementary school which like i had never gone to a dance but all the shows that i was watching that had dances right so i knew about them you didn't know what they

were i didn't know what they were i never gone to but me thinking i was you know fucking king shit asking kelly kapowski hey if you went up as a fucking five-year-old and asked her to a dance you think she would have said well i'm gonna say blank check didn't help that did you ever watch blank check so there's a movie called blank check and the kid gets his bike we go as the blank check segment the kid gets his bike run over by like a millionaire and the millionaire is just like here's remember back when millionaires were like impressive yeah and now it's like well this kid i think i don't even know if he gets a million dollars i think it's probably much less it's probably yeah whatever he wants well that's

what he does he the guy who signs it hands it to him but he didn't fill out the value amount so he's like yeah so he fills in the value amount and then he ends up like yeah he fills in 80 dollars and gets a house a plane well this is like he ends up with like a mansion and like a fucking movie theater in the bay like he i'm sure if we look at the amount that i think it is a million dollars but like a million dollars doesn't get you home you would literally not be able to get a regular home yeah um but at the end of the movie i don't remember if she's like her his secretary or assistant or whatever at the end of the movie this kid's like fucking nine.

She kisses him and is like, I'll see you in a few years. And it's like, it's not a few years, ladies. It's like a decade. It's still not cool. It's a full decade.

Yeah. Um, it's like the fucking, uh, the end of crazy, stupid love for the babysitter gives the kid like the teenager, like at the end. So the,

one of the kids, Steve Carell's son is obsessed with the babysitter. And then, uh, she takes a bunch of sexy photos for steve carell because she has a crush on him uh she gives those photos to like the kid and you're just like that's cool also normal good also not good to do don't do that which sucks because it is my favorite romantic comedy dane fact god what have i done uh why do people ghost? That was our very first question. Why do people ghost? That's our very first question.

When you die and you have unfinished business. Thank you. You sometimes hang around the moral coil in order to finish it. Sometimes if it's a particularly violent death, you become a revenant. Yes. In which case you are a violent manifestation of your rage and anger. Yeah. Sometimes you're tied to a certain location.

Sometimes you're tied to a certain item. If you burn the item and salted or burn the remains and salted, or if you bring the ghost to hollow ground, help like resolve the finish, resolve the finished business, maybe just become really good friends. And then they realize that was their unfinished business maybe. And then your friendship saves the day,

but in saving the day, it kills your friend again, even though your friend was already dead. Kind of like a frosty. And then you're really sad and then you die, but your unfinished business is you didn't get to hang out with your friend more, but now you can't because your unfinished business requires hanging out with them, but they're passed on and you can't pass on until you do your business.

And I don't mean shit. Yeah. Yeah. That's why people ghost. That's why people ghost, man. You have questions for me? I do. Um, now this was, I, I i put a i put a post out and i was just a real original yo hit me hit me with your questions first i want to issue another apology uh and i'm sure this is

going to tie in actually i'm going to talk about this um so someone asked us let me see if i can get the curve like the full phrasing of it because, because it was a very strange one to ask. And I would like to hear your thoughts on it. Agent Candy Cane asked, what's your secret to longevity? Take that how you will. Well, okay. In podcasting, you have to be regular and reliable, which me and Dane maybe took too far. I would love to know how many podcasts

there are out there who've done 300 in a row. 300 without ever missing an episode. Without ever missing an episode. Yeah. I would imagine very, very few.

Very few. Maybe none. Maybe none, actually. No, there's got to be one, but maybe not. 300 is a lot. I was going to say, it's like,

I'm sure there are people who have like, like CBC radio who has like a recurring. But they probably don't do 300. That's what I'm saying is they probably not 300. The only thing I can think of sure there are people who have like like cbc radio who has like a recurring probably no two 300 that's what i'm saying is they probably not 300 the only thing i can think of is like maybe one of the first like cbc things but even then like do they take time off on holidays yeah do they just really have lives unlike us do they have like reruns yeah because that i don't think

that counts yeah right so i i think i think likelihood of, I think we're definitely like top 10, a top 1%. I would say, I mean, top 10, top 10. Yes. Yeah.

I think so. I really do think so. I think maybe not. Maybe we're talking on our ass here and you know, but I think we should try to find out. I'm going to try to, I think that considering how podcast metrics work, I think that would be impossible,

but I'm sure if I tweet the right person, they'll be like, well, we did it. And then we can be like, Hey brother, brother, I did it. And then we like, hey, brother, brother, brother. I got one. Okay.

Have you ever listened to an old clip and change your mind on something you yourself have said? I'm sure. Honestly, editing the thing where I'm just like, I should have said this instead. Or I don't know if I would change my mind. I'm sure if we look, I'm going to be very honest with you. I edited these for a very long time. There's a brief period of time where we had an editor doing it again. It's I blackout during these episodes.

You could talk to me tomorrow and ask what we talked about. Well, this one is a little special because of the nature of the episode. But again, it's in a good way. We're so dialed in. This is like I come in here and I do the thing. And then like I we just we've done it so much and we've done so many that people are like what's your favorite question i was like i couldn't tell you playing steves i couldn't tell you what honestly my favorite question i think the one i that stays with me and i think this is indicative of the

fact that it it's my favorite is the one with the the stripper who used to hook up with the mom and then went home for thanksgiving and then found out that he was actually dating the daughter i think that one that one is is just so choice i have a really choice one but i'm saving it for the live show hell yeah um very similar though so i'm sure that if i listen back to episodes that i would have changed my because i've learned a lot Like, and even just like verbiage and language and stuff like that. Like I'm sure at some point in time, I said the word like transgendered, right?

Sure. Which I know is not the correct terminology for that. So like, I'm sure if I go back and look at, it's like when I get Facebook memories. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, gross. And it's a big thing why like I could very easily, and I know one day I'm sure it'll bite me in the ass and us in the ass of things that we've tweeted or said or whatever. Just because it's in poor taste and I was a fucking idiot 21-year-old who thought I was funny.

The thing is, not only are people idiots when they're younger, but unfortunately, two decades ago, we're all in a different place, right? So it's like, what what was acceptable whether it should or shouldn't have been yeah uh very different thing um so yeah i don't think like i've listened back to older episodes occasionally and i don't like i'm i was very happy because i listened to one of the first i think seven and i was like oh it's it's not too dissimilar to what we do now which is that a bad thing have we not grown enough no i think i think it's it's not too dissimilar to what we do now, which is that a bad thing? Have we not grown enough? No, I think,

I think it's, it's indicative of the fact that like we had a mission. Yeah. Right. And I think that is, is what's one carried us this long to go back to the other question of longevity of being like, we believe in what we're doing. One,

it's fun. We've always looked for, we've talked about before, but we've always looked for a creative endeavor to do something together. But I think it's also when I describe the show when i explain the show to people especially like when we were just at camp and everyone was like what the fuck are you do you do like what is it here um where i explain sort of like the mission and the goal and what we're what we're trying to do and what we're trying to advocate for uh and i think it i think that's what that's kind of like what,

what the through line is. And I don't think that has changed in terms of like what we're trying to accomplish. I think every day and every time we meet someone new and every time we, we connect deeper with different communities and different people, I think we learn more. And I think that's, that's great.

I think that's really important. Yes. So I'm sure if we looked back, we could find small things that we can nitpick and things that like, maybe we would change the wording of, I'm sure if I could change that one episode, that Kama Sutra account wouldn't yell at us. So I think, I mean, like I, if I remember correctly, I can't remember if this was on Instagram when, during COVID, when we were doing like, ask us any question and we'll just like do things.

Cause we were all fucking bored. Or if we did it on the, the episode where I, I sort of implied that like, it was a woman's responsibility to, to, to like work out, to,

to get thinner or something. Um, and I like, I remember that. And I think about it. And then a woman who I adore and I respect and I love, uh, kind of messaged me.

It was just like, actually, this is a shit take. It explained why. And I was like, you're absolutely correct. Um, and I made a post about it afterwards being like, kind of messaged me. It was just like, actually, this is a shit take. It explained why. And I was like, you're absolutely correct. And I made a post about it afterwards being like, I'm retracting that.

So I'm sure there are things like that that I could go back and really nitpick. But I think the overarching message is there of being, you know, consensus is important. Protecting our most vulnerable people, people in the LGBTQ community, you knowq community uh you know stuff like that where it's like we've we've we we have a mission we we we are doing a thing we're trying to be the best allies that that we can and the thing about allyship is like our job is never done in terms

of learning in terms of growing in terms of so i think i think there would definitely be i can't remember specifically because again i don't remember fucking anything i will say one of the only things that i feel unsure about, and I guess I do feel sure about is when we did the Travis Kelsey episode and we did make jokes at Taylor Swift's expense. Yes. And it's like, I know people who know us know we don't mean it.

Yeah. And I know the way we provided it was very silly and like knowingly like ironic and ridiculous. But at the same time, it's not exactly a great look to be like, Oh man, self image and then mock someone else's body. And again,

I know it's, I know she's super untouchable as, as you know, as much as you can be. But at the same time, I do feel a little shitty about it. I agree. You know?

And I think it's something where even when we know it's like harmless and it's whatever, it is probably something we just shouldn't do. And I do, I do remember like after that, listening back and being like, ah, like that wasn't great. Yeah. And again, we had, we had people come up and talk to us about it as well. Um, women that I, again, like, and even I say the women that I respect and I love, but

like, even if it's all women, yeah. Even if it's like, it's women who are close to me who have come up to me and, and had told me these things. And I was like, you are correct. You are absolutely right. I understand where you're coming from. Yeah.

So yeah, I think that's a good point. Now on a slightly less serious note, I have some apologies to make. Again? Yeah. Dear God. During one of our episodes episodes one of our early episodes

and this is like these are apologies for like the first five episodes so i'm sure there are quite a few so wait where did these come from um this year these are things that uh once again my lovely partner pointed out during her for me um i think this is just amazing i think no i think is that what she's saying a slow or a show collaborative. We'll see. Apologies. We'll see. I'm not involved in these. So we referred to Paul Walker as America's sweetheart. And apparently he did date teenagers pretty much up until the time. Well, what could be more American?

That's pretty fucked up. Yeah. Which I, neither of us were aware of that. When we mentioned things about, I know nothing about. That's the thing. Our, maybe we should start a gossip call where we just talk about the beef between Olivia Rodrigo and Sabrina Turner. We also encourage people to listen to R. Kelly. Which also not the best.

Those are the only two that I have. Those are the two big ones. That's fair. We'll take those back. Yeah. So I'm sure, like I said, I'm sure if we went back and we... But we've always been pretty critical of Drake. So you're welcome.

It's true. We were on that train pretty early. Yeah. You're welcome. You're welcome. We're out here protecting. We out here. And they not like us.

No. Hold on. I have other things. This is... Why don't you close your phone and put it down i don't know just to be like you know what i was i was calling it out uh we we talked a lot of people asked like uh what what are sort of like do you regret an answer what did you learn what like that was you know what like i think the amount of people who asked that i and i think i think it's interesting for us to, like being in the position that we are in, of being like, I understand why people ask that question.

Yes. And I wish that I had a better answer, but I would have to go back. Yeah. You know, I would have to go back and listen and go episode by episode. And I will say, I don't think there's anything, and I'm sure this will also bite us in the ass.

I don't think there's anything particularly bad because people listen and people are listening, you know, from last year and from this year and they're starting early and like your partner listens. And it's like things that were really bad would be brought to our attention. I would hope. I think that's it. Right. Like, you know, like again, I have people that I really love and respect and who are very intelligent and very in tune to these things from a wide range of, of communities and groups that listen to the show and have never come at me, which, and like, not in the sense of like trying to cancel, but I know, I know they would be like,

or out of confusion being like, why'd you, yeah, I know they would come at me with, with love and be like, and challenge me. And we're also very open to that and i think that's one good thing that maybe we need to do more of is like when we started we were like we're not professionals yeah if we make a mistake if you have a like by all means reach out and i think people yeah i think in that first episode we were just like we're not professionals also like this is a conversation yeah so if we say something that doesn't make sense or you need clarification we're happy to do that we We're also very willing to take. Yeah.

And we, we have like conversations and I, I do love back to our audience being great. People reach out to us in a very conversational way. You know what I mean? So I love that. But I think short of going through every episode and rating things, I think we're,

you know, yeah, I don't, I don't think back and really like bash my head against. I'm sure there's more I could say, but all right. What's the next one? What is your best memory of the podcast?

I have an answer for this. Okay. I'll go first. I think it's Camp Alceo. I think that was a moment for me of being flown out to New York and having a large group of people from all walks of life who don't know us at all. We knew one person there. Right.

And one person had listened prior. Yeah. Sorry. One new person. Yeah. Um, and we, we didn't know anyone and no one knew what the fuck we were doing.

And within a night, I would say over the course of like the first night that we were there, cause we were performing on the second night, uh, people challenged me a lot. I don't know what happened to you. Oh, for sure. But, but a lot of people, like I remember sitting night uh people challenged me a lot i don't know what happened to you oh for sure but but a lot of people like i remember sitting at a fire pan and a lot of women were just like but but i mean like i understand it like i get it not in a

bad way not in a bad way but it was just like people were like firing these questions off why do you feel like you can talk about this and it's not even that it was like people were just asking questions yeah just being like well how about this how about this yeah um and watching people be like relax a little yeah with the answers that i was giving it was really weird because usually when we're at a live show people either they're they know why they're there right yeah so either we know them or we don't but they know what's going on to a degree and it still could be like you know someone comes in and sees two white guys at a stage on a podcast called fuck buddies and here's people and they're like oh no yeah i get it we get it with this it was like people were going to camp for camp and

we were part of it and i don't know how many people knew enough about it yeah but then they started to hear oh there's a podcast and then they see these two fucking white guys who again a lot of people knew each other there and we were new to this particular camp and blah blah blah blah so they were and within understandably 30 seconds we were playing beer pong we were yeah yeah and killing it um so it was interesting having this like it wasn't even that night it was the next night so we had like a day and a half of like pre-vetting you know what i mean and it was cool to be able to get to a point with that that everyone was like hell yeah let's go to the show. Because it was a full crowd, you know? And the thing is, I felt the shift of people sitting down and being like, we don't know what this is.

And almost immediately being into it. Yeah. Like the energy. We've had some really great live shows. And we're really, really lucky to do the recurring show here in Toronto. But the energy at that show was very different. And it was very surprised. And it was, it was, it was a crazy show.

And like, I'm really, really excited to put it out, which coming soon. Yeah. It'll be out in like August. Um, and it was, it was just such a great shift of being like, oh, we, it was very validating for me to being like, oh, we have a show. We have a, we have a thing. We can walk into a room and it was the woods but you know yeah imagine with me pretend it's it's a room where no one knows it

no one's listening to the show and it's full and it's you know open bar can be a blessing or a curse because drunk people are gonna be like yeah if they're happy but they're gonna be like fuck you if they're not right and we can do a good show and have everyone go fucking crazy and and talk about how good it was for the rest of the night and the rest of the camp and like can win over you know that's because like we have incredible people come to our shows who know us know the shows blah blah blah so it's a very friendly crowd we have a supportive backbone there you know whereas this was you know and it was amazing it was it was one of those things where i was just like oh this is

great this is really fucking cool uh i like i really fell in love with what we do again yeah there and and i i'm i'm very very grateful for that opportunity and i yeah uh i mean it was it was just nice to be like oh our show our silly little show just got us a trip out into the poconos to to party and play and perform. It was, it was really, really cool. It's something we never could have imagined. 300 episodes,

300 episodes. Yeah. If, if someone told me that was what we got to do when we recorded this in the closet. Yeah. In October. Fucking closet.

Yeah. Yeah. Our, I think like for me, uh, little, little things pop out. Um,

our first fan expo with the Canadian podcast awards where one of our listeners showed up specifically to see us and he is amazing yeah and it was an incredible joy to see him and that was like that made my life that was incredible um and like honestly we won our first canadian podcast award and we were all together with a bunch of friends and a bottle of sparkling in my living room and that was just really cool you know yeah I mean I just remember feeling really great and I just broken my fucking ankle

I couldn't walk and it was I was miserable and that was not miserable yeah that was cool the the message we got on patreon or or whatever of the person being like you changed my relationship like you saved my marriage or whatever about but the blow job. Well,

yeah, that one, like still every now and then I'll look at that and be like, hell yeah. And even just like some people message being like, I have a partner and we're like getting married now. And we met four or five years ago because of you guys. Yeah.

It's fucking cool. Yeah. It's there's, there's some moments, there's very small moments of just being like, if this is all we've done, if this is already, if this is what we've achieved, if this is already, if this is what we've achieved,

if this one single message here is all that this podcast has done for the world, I am thrilled. Yeah, this is good. I can, I can hang my hat up at the end of the day. Now we can die.

Yeah. Now we can ghost or we won't ghost because they have no unfinished business. I think when Jackson Triggs get ahold of us, when Jackson Triggs gets ahold of us, we will be, we will be revenants. Although I think we would be like yeah no man we get it yeah so also like our live shows they're fucking great that first live show was really cool and then like yeah i don't know like i think yeah i mean one of the best memories and just sort of like the best

things about the podcast is like people coming up afterwards and being like i thought this was gonna be shit and it wasn't right like i think that's fair that's so nice to hear two or three live shows ago we got a message afterwards from a person we had never met before saying if it was a choice between a bear and you guys i chose choose you guys yeah there you go which is hey fuck you bears fuck you bears um do you have any more questions i have no so this one i don't know if we want to do it but i think we should uh tips on starting a podcast like what have we learned having made a podcast uh okay i just did a insanely long breakdown this morning for a random account that message just asking this so i could read that out or i could just go for it yeah i think

yeah uh consistency yes we we're the kings of consistency apparently yeah uh be consistent you know what i mean uh try to hit a rhythm that you can sustain but like your audience are going to want to hopefully hear you so like yeah being reliable is great like i hate when my podcasts i love skip a week even though i understand and i'm not shitty about it but like you know if it's part of your monday it's part of your wednesday whatever it's good to do that right i think starting off you need to i think it's important to assume it's going to be harder than it is and if you can make more content great it's easier to walk or it's harder to walk it back yes right so like for me we have another show called no quest for the wicked i knew that was going to be a bi-weekly thing just because of the the

amount of work that it takes to record to edit to to produce i knew it was gonna be harder i would love to eventually get to a point where we could do that weekly as well that'd be amazing but it's a lot more i mean it's double the length i'm doing it weekly right now and i'm gonna be doing it until almost like the beginning of october and it's it's very very difficult yeah um so i we set a realistic standard of being like this will be bi biweekly. This is how we're going to do it. And this is the only way. And it's how we maintain quality. I think that my biggest thing is quality is essential in terms of editing audio.

Audio quality. One, get a good mic. Get a good mic. If you're not willing to drop, like you could get a decent mic. The mic that Niall has used and recorded on is under a hundred bucks. Yeah. I believe. Yeah.

Right. It was very reasonable and people shit talk under a hundred bucks. Yeah. I believe. Yeah. Right. It was very reasonable and people shit talk it, but no one seems to know. But Hey, we want best production in the Canadian podcast. So go fuck yourself. The same people who've shit talked it have also heralded our podcast as a good reason not to use that mic.

And I'm like, I use it. So that's down to our incredible editor, Dane, who works really hard all the time. You're amazing. Love you. You're amazing. Thank you.

But so quality, like you need to have a quality show in terms of content, in terms of. Especially if you're an audio only podcast. Yes. If you're audio only, your audio needs to sound great. Yeah. If that's the only way that your podcast is entering in someone's brain and like be hard on yourself. So what I did when we started NoQuest and specifically this one as well.

Yeah. I listened to my favorite show. One of, I Brother, My Brother and Me. And I held this show to the standards of that show. And that is one of the biggest shows by some of the biggest names in podcasting. One of the most long running shows, I'm sure at this point. Right. And so for me, I was like, if our show doesn't sound that good or feel that good to listen to, and I'm not talking about content. I'm talking about editing.

I'm talking about quality. I'm talking about sort of presentation. If it doesn't feel as good as one of the best shows on the market, I don't want to put it out. And I did the same thing with no quest for the wicked. I listened to critical role. I listened to not another D and D podcast. I listened to no,

or a adventure zone. I listened to Dimension 20. Those are the shows that are the top of their fucking game. And I was like, if it doesn't sound like this, we're going to go back and try again. So get your audio quality good in terms of editing, in terms of mic quality. Make your content good, obviously. Be regular. And then, unfortunately unfortunately you need a social media presence and that social media presence, unless you get incredibly lucky and make the right tweet at the right time and

go viral, you just need to be on it all the time, which sucks. But being on it all the time, supporting people who are in the industry, figuring out the little secrets. So like on Twitter for no quest for the wicked, for example, there's a work in pro like hashtag WIP Wednesday, work in progress Wednesdays where you can post on other people's things. People share their self promo Saturdays, you know, figure out what your niche does and get involved in those communities.

Be again, much like the compliments earlier, be genuine, like work with people you like and don't just, but people can smell fakeness. I think that's, that's a really important question a friend of mine uh from the karaoke bar i go to was like oh i'm like me and another

regular are considering starting like a hip-hop podcast like we're gonna be competition and i was like you're not though no one genres are one there's also no competition but in podcasting i was like there's infinite space yeah right like it's not like we're competing for the 8 o'clock Thursday night slot on TV. It's not like we're competing for album sales. We're releasing these for free. And there is infinite amount of space. And if we can find some way to work together, that benefits both of us. Exactly.

It's only good. And even if we don't, it's like, if you're my friend, I want to see you succeed. And that's what I told him. I was like, dude, you will never be competition to me. And I don't mean that in a shitty way. Because you suck. I mean that because I want you to succeed. Yes.

There are people who I just like from two or three years ago who were just kind of chill on Twitter. And if I see they have a new project or a new thing coming out, I'm retweeting that. I'm liking it. I'm commenting on it just to support them for no other reason than that. I want them to do well. And they're in the same genres. I love the community for that. Right?

Because you'll see people who are here who think much like Twitch streaming or YouTube back in the day of being like, I watched someone do this or I listened to this podcast and I think it's easy and I think I can make a shit ton of money. I become famous and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah of money i become famous and there's no money it's there's no money no i mean if you want money leave yes if that's what if you're here for fame if you're here for money and like i think you also that brings up a very good point of being like what are you doing this for yes do you want to make a podcast with your best friend because it's fun and you don't really give a shit if it's just your dad and you know seven friends who are listening or do you want it to be a career because those are

two very different styles of podcasts now and i decided that this is something we wanted to pursue as a profession we wanted to make a professional product that we could make money off of and we've done okay we have it's not like me saying there's no money is me saying if you're doing it to make money and like we're not doing it to make money, we're doing it to the aim of making. Yes. You know what I mean? I'm not like, shit, I need more money. Let's podcast. I'm podcasting and I would love to be able to make it into a career, but we're realistic. We work our fucking jobs and we haven't changed that because of it. And anything on top is bonus that we generally just put back into the podcast. But if you're doing it to make money, that's not it. If you're doing it to hopefully make it a career, that's great. If you're realistic and know that it's going to be one,

maybe impossible to very slow, a lot of work, three, a lot of work. I mean, you have to like, we could have gone and gotten the fucking degree and then worked for two years in the field by now.

And it would have been way more, you know, you, you can like, just think of like how many podcasts are yeah right just go and search anything in the like spotify podcast charts and just be like music and that and that brings me to my next point if you're doing a show that you want to gain traction you want to become a job and you want to like have a hook if you're doing a movie review podcast if if you're talking about bad movies,

if you're talking about a TV show, it's been done. So like why? And this is the, like if you're doing a D and D thing and you want to do curse of Strahd fucking hanging up. Yeah. Like I'm not trying to be mean and I'm going to be realistic.

It's like, there are thousands of curse of Strahd things. And anyone who's wanted to listen to a curse of Strahd play through has listened to it. And they're probably not going to listen to a Curse of Strahd playthrough has listened to it. And they're probably not going to listen to you. Yeah. Be original. Like we specifically went with Starfinder for No Quest of the Wicked because it was

so underutilized in the sphere. Like D&D, huge. Pathfinder, less huge, but still very prevalent. Like sci-fi. And it's a give and take. It's like, yes, it's less popular because there's less, but there's more room to be, you know, it's,

it's a, it's a give and take. And Hey, that's up to you. You got to be original. The best advice that I can give right now is don't name your show. Something that will be censored curse word. Don't put a curse word in your name because you'll never be published.

Yeah. No, no press will ever want to have you on their show or their articles. You can't advertise on any social media platform. so you'll get shadow banned everywhere no matter how fucking clever you think you are uh do not put the word fuck or shit in your name it's not funny it is fun it is funny but it will hurt you so bad um it's a marvel that we got this far with it. I think that's it for this episode. Yeah.

Unless you have... I got a bad sex writing to send us off if you want. Sure, yeah. That's great. Let me just make sure I haven't forgotten anything here. But you know what I would like to say? One, thank you. Thank you to everybody.

Episode 300, it's a really big deal for us. I hope you guys enjoyed the episode. If you do listen to episode one and you notice startling dissimilarities or similarities, let us know. But if you could do us a favor, we have a Patreon. If you want to support us and you want to go on

there, we have some really fun stuff. We have some extra episodes if you've listened to 300 episodes and you want some more. We've got them on there. The last two, by the time you're listening to this, will be special one-off deep dives we would appreciate any support too if you don't want to support us there that is totally fine please leave us a review tell a friend come to the show retweet like our posts our videos our you know instagrams

and do what our really good friend parker does and anytime someone anytime a dude sends you a shitty text or behaves poorly, just tell them to listen to our show. It's, one, the highest compliment. And it's fucking funny. We're trying really, really hard to undo the shit that you guys are dealing with. We're trying really hard to help men who are struggling. We're trying real hard to protect the people who need protecting our, our queer friends, our trans friends,

our gay friends, our bi friends. We are, we're doing our best to, to make a world that's safer. That's sexier. That's more fun. Yeah.

And, and it's, it's, it's in so many different ways. We, we want women to be able to walk down the street and feel okay. We want men to be able to sleep at night without thinking of hurting themselves and feeling useless. We want our friends to not worry whether or not they're going to be beaten to death in a fucking bathroom because they're using the wrong one, quote unquote.

We make a lot of jokes here and we have a lot of fun and there's stuff like that. But the reality of the situation is the reason we started this podcast was because a dude committed mass murder. Yeah. Right. I'm getting emotional talking about it. And it's fucked that it took that much for us to do it. And it's fucked that after six years,

we still need to do it. Yeah. And unfortunately, in a lot of ways, we need to do it more than ever, you know? So, we need to do more than ever you know so you know share share the message you know the more people we can get unified behind good ideology you know maybe it's not us maybe it's other stuff that's fine but like let's get the good people together let's spread it let's get the people who haven't been fucking andrew tated yet you know and if they are fuck them we'll we'll win them over we'll win them over. We'll win them over. So, if you can, take

a moment to support us in whatever way you can. It's episode 300. We'd like to market with something, you know? So, if you can, we appreciate it. And if not, it's all cool. Thank you for being here. Yeah. We fucking love you. And I mean that so wholeheartedly because the reason I couldn't choose a favorite moment from the

podcast, like, off the bat, is because there are so many. Yeah. You know? With Dane, with you, I'm pointing at you, listener, and you. You're not getting away from me. It's been a wild ride, and it's going to keep going. If you listen to the end hoping we'd say we're done, fuck you, we ain't.

We got another 300 in us. Ready for some bad sex writing? Just to really take us off into the sunset. You comfy? I was going to hope you're gonna bring a dan tweet i was going to but you know what it's played out yeah it's like i was gonna bring the same one like because we did the the women uh jogging with headphones yeah uh this is a tweet are two tweets male feminist it's an oxymoronic label in the most realistic sense if there's any

cis man that can come anywhere close to being a feminist ally that man will be gay no not bisexual gay homosexual a cis man that is a feminist ally on a meaningful sorry a cis man that's a feminist ally on a meaningful sense won't fuck you yes i'm telling this to you het and bi feminists i telling you, if you genuinely saw women as humans, you wouldn't be fucking one. It's really impressive that this man uses the term cis. I believe a woman posted this. Oh, very cool. Either way, someone who has this bad of a take is still using cis.

Because usually it goes hand in hand of being like, there is no cis. Yeah. Like you're a man or a woman. And that's it. Cause usually like it goes hand in hand of being like, there is no sis. Yeah. Right. Like you're a man or a woman. And like, that's, that's it. So like the fact that you're, you're this shitty,

but still also including somewhat educated, the idea of, of sort of like gender as a spectrum, you're like, you're on the periphery of being good. Well, I don't know if I'd go that far, but like you're on the periphery of understanding,

like, like you're in the ballpark, but you're in the basement. Just kind of fucking... And it's weird down there. It's so fucking weird. No one's cleaning that place out. There's rats. There's so many old hot dogs. Yeah. And they're not rotting. They're not rotting. They've never rotted.

That's because that's what hot dogs are. In fact, hot dogs are mostly pig butts. And we know pig butts never rot. My name is Dave Miller. And I'm Niall Spain. We have been for your 300th time, your fuck buddies.