F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 304 - Intimate Evenings: My Sickly, Victorian Husband (Live @ The Black Sheep)

Episode Date: August 12, 2024

We're still recovering from GenCon and catching up on missing a week of our lives to Indianapolis, so here's our most recent live show at Black Sheep! Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

I put my trust in you, and I trust in love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love I put my trust in you, and I trust in love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love Hello friends, my name is Day Miller And I'm Niall Spang And we're your fuck buddies We are a sex and dating advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations and we turn them into sexy, sticky situations.

Simply put, we find questions either online, roaming the internet, or from our wonderful listeners, or from yourselves tonight. You'll notice some little bits of paper on your tables. Fill them out whenever you want. We'll have two breaks. We will kind of scoot around and collect them. They will be anonymous unless you don't want them to be in which case right i don't want this to be anonymous and put your name in the big circle your uh you know pin code your social insurance number oh yeah you got

a credit card front and back nothing to do with the question but you know we want them uh on top of that we do have a shot competition so So you'll see a little QR code. If you go there, I think it'll take you to our Instagram. Do a little post, a little story, anything tagging us and Black Sheep. And you'll be into a draw. And then in the third act, you will get shots if you're the lucky table. It's true. And I know what you think. We got a lot of new faces this month, which is kick-ass.

Yeah, thank you, guys. I know what you're thinking. Finally, two white men are brave enough to start a podcast. We are going to do... Don't clap for that. Also, we just released our 300th episode this week. Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

And I did a lot of apologies for things that I had said prior to... None of which were serious. None of them were bad. It was things like, you know like I called Paul Walker America's sweetheart before I knew that he dated teenagers. Things like that. I do now also want to issue an apology for

playing that cover of a disturbed Sound of Silence remix. Yeah, I made Dan do that one because that song was atrocious. That was really bad. Do you want to get us started? Yeah. Is there anything else we need to say? Oh yeah, we just have the bar team today. So I think everyone's figured that out. But if you need a drink, just head up. You all got there. And if you, I think all of our VIPs are here, but if you bought VIP tickets, just head on up with your little card that says VIP

and you'll get your welcome drink. That's the way we're doing that tonight. Yeah. I'm going to start us off. Okay. This is by Innocent Flirt. 24-year-old male. Feeling insecure about my, 21-year-old female, girlfriend's book porn obsession. What should I do? Hey, fellow Redditors.

Hi, 24-year-old male. I'm hoping someone out there can offer some advice or just listen to my venting session. I've been with my amazing girlfriend, 21, for a little over a year now and overall,

our relationship is fantastic. We communicate well, share similar interests, and genuinely care about each other. However, there's one thing that's started to bother me lately. She's super into those book talk books. You know, the ones with explicit sex scenes that get popular on TikTok. Not gonna lie, it was kinda cute at first when she'd blush and giggle while reading them. But as time went on, I started noticing she gets really into these stories. Like, turned on, into it level. I even caught her touching herself while reading. Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging, but it made me feel uneasy. The thing is, I've tried talking to her about how it makes me feel, like I'm being replaced by fictional characters, or that she's more excited about these books and our own intimacy,

and she just brushes it off, saying I need to work on my flirting and that I'm jealous of fictional men. But here's the thing. When we first started dating, she asked me to stop watching porn, and I did out of respect for her feelings. Now, when I ask her to tone down the steamy book reading, or at least not do it in front of me, she refuses. She claims it's not the same as porn and that I'm being controlling, but honestly, it feels like there's this whole other world she's escaping into,

one I'm not part of. I love my girlfriend. I don't want to come across as possessive or insecure. Although, let's be real, I'm feeling a bit of both. Has anyone else dealt with something similar?

Should I just suck it up and accept that this is her thing? Or are there valid concerns here that need addressing? And then there's an edit pointing out that he didn't watch real porn. It was animated porn.

You know what? Actually actually for the first time ever i think that is a valid distinction it is kind of helpful in this sense where like you could have an issue with the porn industry because there are a lot of things surrounding that but like you're both kind of in the fictional realm at that point um not to say i'm sure there's plenty to be said about animated porn being uncouth. Yeah, I imagine. But there is clarification I need. Did she say that he needs to work on his flirting technique? Or is she reading these to work on her flirting technique?

It seems to say that he needs to work on his. Okay. Then the obvious answer is dress up like one of these characters and live in... You have wings now. What? He has wings now. Wings. He needs wings.

Maybe you're a sparkly vampire. Yeah. I don't know a single thing about any of these books, so I'm just probably going to reference Twilight the entire time. Twilight's not explicit, though. I know, but I can't think of any other fantasy book that isn't Game of Thrones. I've heard people talk about Akatar, which is a court of thorns and roses.

Yes. Or thrones and roses. No, that's not it. And I should remember some of the guys' names. I can't, and I'm very sad. There is probably Caden. That sounds like one. There is one.

Valentine. Whose name is Dane. Okay, there you go. And apparently he's a piece of shit because my friend constantly sends me memes of them being like, is Dane. Okay, there you go. And apparently he's a piece of shit because my friend constantly sends me memes of them being like, fuck Dane. Everyone doesn't like him. Which is kind of fuck though.

Not the good one. Okay. This is interesting. I would say you need to chill the fuck out if it wasn't for the porn aspect on the flip side of being like, I don't want you to watch something that you find as like a, you know,

solo sexual experience, but I'm allowed to do this thing. Cause like when it comes to insecurities, there's no, there's no logic to it. Yeah. Right. Like it's,

you feel weird about things because you feel weird about things. And like, that's what therapy is for. But like, you can't really, what you do with insecurity is how you act. Like like that's that's the only real way to manage it and I think this guy being like hey here's the situation I did makes me feel replaced and I feel like our intimacy is taking a backseat to to this thing with

which is a valid concern if she felt the same way right like if she was like hey I feel like your porn consumption is making our intimacy like you know I mean so I feel like I feel like they have the same level, but for whatever reason, she's being like, mine is fine, yours isn't. Yeah. I do wish there was more detail about, because he says like, oh, our sex life is suffering as a result, but never says what's happening. Yeah. So like, is that happening? Or is it just that you don't like

maybe the hypocrisy here or you're jealous of this dude with wings? Because you can't fly and that sucks. I mean, I think the solution is here. One, I think the burn of being like, you need to work on your flirting. That sucks.

That's pretty mean, honestly. That's a kick in the teeth just to be like, these book boys are better at romancing me than you, real human being. They've got a whole team of editors. This guy presumably doesn't. And also, they're not bound by the laws of physics. True.

They've got like at least eight abs. Yeah. They can like shoot magic and shit. Do you know how easy it would be to go on a date if you had magic? And wings. Yeah. You're really hooked on these wings Oh, that's pretty much the only thing I know so I'm really sticking to it. Okay. I'm

Also is anyone read them they do have wings right? Yeah, they've wings Yeah, okay Well, yeah, okay now hold on are you saying that every one of these books all of them have wings or just okay? I was gonna say is that just like the f that's a mandatory, like, did I misunderstand Fifty Shades of Grey? Did they have wings the whole time?

Yeah, yeah. I thought it was a weird choice, but okay. Yeah, I think like in this situation, communication is key. You've tried to bring up your stuff

and it's been shut down and now I think you need to talk about that and why that's making you feel bad and point out that you feel like it's the same as your porn consumption and point out that you feel like it's the same as your porn consumption

and see why they feel like it isn't and try to talk it out that way. If your partner is unwilling to have that conversation, that sucks and it might mean it's time for a new relationship if you guys can't handle something as simple as this. You should also try to figure out why it is that you're so insecure.

Like is it just because you're upset that there seems to be rules for you and no rules for them? Because that's a different conversation. Or is it like you try to initiate and they're like, actually, I would rather pop out this Kindle and not touch you.

I've just read 11 chapters. I ain't got nothing in me. I am, no, I'm not gonna say that. Raw. Yeah, I was gonna go in that direction. I think, and we always suggest that you don't come at it from an attacking stance. For sure.

So I think the best way to do this is be like, I don't understand the difference between our two things. Can you help me understand why you feel like I can't do this and you can do this? Because I don't get it and I would like to understand what about this is unacceptable and what about this is okay. Because from my point of view they're the same. And I feel like that's gonna get you

a far more productive conversation than being like, why can't I watch porn? Because I think that. Fuck you, you're a hypocrite. Starting off that antagonistic and that sort of like argumentative and blaming is just gonna, you're gonna argue about things that aren't the actual problem. For sure.

Then it's like, great, now we're just fighting because neither one of us want to admit that we want to get off on it. Yeah, you're fighting about the fight at that point. I also think knowing why you feel insecure and being able to verbalize that is really important both for yourself and for them in this argument. So like don't go in not able to explain where you're coming from. And like, you should know that for yourself because if you really get down to it and it's like, oh, I'm not super fit, but all these guys in the book are,

and that's kind of like the root of it, maybe putting up like words to that will make you realize you're being a little silly and help you to get over it. But like nailing it where you're coming from for yourself is really important in these situations as well. Yeah. And it's fair to your partner as well,

because then you're not just coming at them with feelings, you're coming at them with like, I feel this way because. Yes, yeah. It's always important to be able to like back up your stance and your feelings as opposed to just expecting someone to read your mind and guess correctly. And like if you don't know and you're asked to explain, you might just say a thing to say a thing

or you might get really defensive because it's really hard in a conversation to be like, I don't know. Shit. And I feel like sometimes when it comes to insecurities, I don't know is an acceptable answer, but you need, if you're able to admit without freaking out. You need to have a ground level of at least being able to admit without freaking out you need to have like a

ground level of at least being able to be like oh it's so i'm insecure about this i'm not entirely sure why but here's but like you've always got to have a qualifier in the sense of like oh we need to like i'm insecure about it and i know i'm i'm not too sure why but here's how it makes me feel yeah and i feel like that putting yourself on the table and being vulnerable is much more approachable than just being like, you're doing it and it's bad. Yeah, yeah, 100%. This comes from a submitted question.

They wanted to go by the name Agent Swish. They're a 27-year-old man. After a car accident, I don't have the best bladder control and suffer from occasional leakage as a result I wear adult diapers the ones I wear are very discreet and comfortable and no one would know unless I told them however it makes dating difficult because it goes because if it goes well and we go back to her place I can't just drop my pants and show off my cool diaper I can't uh ditch it while I'm at their place because if they see it in the garbage they'd be really confused how can i make sure i keep my pants piss free but still score on dates that's rough

because i think the only thing weirder than or like more surprising for the date than like seeing that on you is like later on just like finding it somewhere yeah there's a there's an adult diaper in my bookshelf where did that come from yeah and like there's really no sneaky way i don't think to like no and it's also like i'm sure we've all seen i think there was at least two of them but like the instagram video of the girl who who did a poo and then the toilet was stuffed and then they tried to get rid of it and then they ended up like getting it caught in between the two windows at this guy's bathroom now has no one seen that it's just me no thank you right we're in sync so yeah like in trying to make this less embarrassing which like yeah it sucks but it's like a very pedestrian level of embarrassment like we all shit sometimes toilets get blocked you know what i mean

instead there's a shit smeared down in between two panes of glass that I'm sure was a nightmare to clean. And then you have to either not do it. And then someone's like, where the fuck did that come from? Or you say where it came from. And that's not much better. Yeah, I operate on a platform of if there's an embarrassing situation, and this is something I really do, I automatically assume that I am a character in a Ben Stiller movie and assume that my attempt to make it better will only go worse. Right? Like, I'll start a house fire.

I will, you know, like, something terrible. Or, like, I'm part of an American Pie movie or something. You know what I mean? You have to answer me honestly. Was the blackout your fault? Were you trying to cover up for something? It was. It was a fucking nightmare. You piece of shit. I gotta throw the blackout your fault? Were you trying to cover up for something? It was. It was a fucking nightmare.

I'm going to throw up my whole fridge now because of you. That flood, that whole, that's all piss, man. I don't know what happened, but I made a mess. It's tough. This is a tough situation. However, I think you have an in with the fact that it's not just, like it's a pretty tragic thing of being like, I was in a car accident and like kind of prefacing that.

You get like, you know, people should be cool about these things. They aren't always. You do have kind of the benefit of it like being a story that like everyone is gonna relate to everyone's gonna be like oh shit yeah no one's gonna be like yeah fuck you yeah it's a car accident it's like yeah it's an excellent litmus test as well to be like oh is this person a piece of shit yeah if you're like oh hey i was in a really bad car accident and while thankfully i'm still alive i do have this like physical condition that puts me in this position. And they're like, ew, or fuck you.

Right? Like if that's the case, it's like, okay, well, now I know almost immediately that going on a date with you is a waste of time. Yeah. Yeah. So I think, unfortunately, like I don't know that there's a cool way to get away with that. Other than just prefacing it and being like, you you know maybe if you get one with flames on it oh like a cool hot rod situation yeah yeah alright

or magic 8 ball yeah cool yeah I was gonna say edible ones but considering the nature of that's not the way to go with that one I don't think um that's a powerful choice yeah I was thinking edible underwear but then I remembered that the underwear we are talking about is diapers yeah I don't choice yeah i was thinking edible underwear but then i remembered

that the underwear we are talking about is diapers yeah i don't know if you want your edible underwear to also be absorbent and used yeah no judging by the audience we actually heard a lot of gasps over here so um that one's out so i think that like the easy solution is or just take them to yours go back to your place and have secret sexy underwear hidden in your bathroom with a secret compartment full of used diapers. I mean, I don't think it has to be full of used. I think you could take it out after the night. Yeah, it just has to be like a

secret bin where they're not going to find it. Yeah, like under the counter or something. You're like, just have a little tuck away spot and then have your sort of like sexy time underwear and do a swap a room when you go to the bathroom. I think that is the real way to do it. But I think like,

unless you're just in the dating sphere to have like one-off hookups and like kind of whatever that, but if you're dating to like date and find a partner. It's gonna have to come up at some point. Yeah, you can't do this. And it's not feasible to always be like,

oh, we're always gonna go back to mine. I'm always gonna be able to go to the bathroom and always change and like keep this from you. You know what I mean? Because like, well, if they stay over go back to mine. I'm always gonna be able to go to the bathroom and always change and keep this from you, you know what I mean? Because, well, if they stay over and then you guys do something the next day, you gotta go back in, switch them out,

and then, you know, it's... It seems like a lot of work to keep up this almost like Mrs. Doubtfire style underwear situation where you're constantly running from room to room, putting on another pair of underwear, because eventually you're gonna come out with the wrong underwear on. You're going to mix them up. It's going to happen.

Yeah. Or like over top of your pants or something. Like it's going to end poorly. Again, live your life like you're in a Ben Stiller movie. It's the easiest way to not make an ass of yourself. Yeah. So I think, you know, communication. Or the old switcheroo.

Two of the answers to every question tonight, probably. Yeah. This is by a nameless user. My 23-year-old female boyfriend, 24-year-old male, wants me to stop having my period. Can I recover from this? We've been dating for two months. Things have been going well.

Yesterday he asked me to go to the gym with him, and I declined, saying, I don't feel up to it I started my period he was like what I repeated myself then he goes you know you don't have to do that right that's what I've been saying for years I was like dude what are you saying he goes on to explain his ex was on a type of birth control that got rid of her period and overall made their relationship more enjoyable. He asked me to consider doing the same. I told him not. I didn't want to switch birth control methods and if he doesn't like me having periods, he can dump me. I told him, good luck finding a girl who doesn't have a period and he said, already had one. I'll find another. I'm so appalled. What the fuck is wrong with him? I know there are methods to stop periods, but for him to imply

I'm a rarity for having them was insane. This is the first time I brought up my period to him. I'm a 23-year-old girl. Of course I have periods. I know he was making a suggestion and probably meant well, but that's a crazy thing to suggest. I should get rid of my period for his enjoyment. I'm mad at him. I don't think I can recover from this. I think it shows how dumb he is. What do you think?

Can I recover from this, or should I end it while I'm ahead? It's weird that you keep saying you need to recover from this, because I think the only while I'm ahead? It's weird that you keep saying you need to recover from this. Because I think the only recovery that needs to happen is his dumb ass. Yeah. What an insane thing. It's, at least, I thought he was going to, like, at least there is, like, there is truth in the sense of, like, with the right combination of birth control, you can, like, halt your period. If you want to do that, great.

If you don't want to do that, it's your body, your choice. Until the day we die. But, yeah, I thought it was going to be. I thought he was literally going to be like, just don't do it. Yeah, we have had a friend of the podcast once came to us with a story where their ex was like, I don't understand why women are so lazy. They should just hold it in instead of putting a tampon up there. And it's like, oh, you just have no idea.

I really think people are here like, I could hold it in, but I'm just gonna tampon it up. There's a shocking number of people who just don't understand the process of, like ask any man of being like, where does the tampon go? And a lot of people are going to answer incorrectly. So he's slightly better than that person in certain ways.

Yes. And then worse in a lot of other ways. Worse in almost every other way. I mean, it's one thing like that is bad enough. I think where I would have probably launched this man into the sun is when he was like, I already had one. I'll find another. Yeah.

Because to me, that is, he broke up with you there. Yes, for sure. Like, that's, if someone said to me, I don't like your beard, shave your beard. And I was like, well, I'm not going to do it. And then jokingly or whatever, said said, good luck finding another one. He'd be like, I already had one. I'll do it again. It's a pretty definitively shitty end of relationship thing to say.

Go on. Yeah, yeah. This guy fucking sucks shit. Yes, dump him. Don't get rid of your period. Get rid of him. One's going to be more enjoyable. Yeah.

At least one only sucks, you know, one week a month. Yes. This guy sucks all of the time. It's really, really bad when we, like, I'm trying not to, like, just go off on body autonomy and trying to yell at men to not tell women what to do with their bodies. Because I feel like... I feel like... Pop off, king.

I feel like there's not a person in this room who needs to hear that. And if you do, raise your hand and we'll get into it. Hey, any pieces of shit in the audience right now? There's a broken elevator over there that you can get into right now. And I'll get in afterwards

and we'll do mob rules. Whoever leaves alive gets to have a period. Damn, okay. We're threatening the audience in act one. I mean, it's kind of par for the course. I haven't threatened anyone to hit them with a chair yet. That's true. So we're up on that.

Do you have another one? Do you have a quick one? Yeah, let's do this one. Okay. What does it mean when a guy tells you if you are around him, he will fall asleep? I was talking to a guy. I'm sorry, what? Hold on.

Do you mean that again? What does it mean when a guy tells you if you are around him, he will fall asleep? Okay. You don't need context, right? That's pretty self-explanatory. I've got everything I need. I was talking to a guy, and I was asked if I could come over that night. And he said he had a lot of homework to do. I understood and said I could help him and help him focus on his homework.

And he said no because I would distract him. And he'd probably fall asleep. I said, why would you fall asleep if I'm there? Wouldn't you stay awake since I'm there? And he said, I don't get it. I don't really understand and wonder if this means something deeper. Does he mean I'm boring? Or I don't know.

Hey, let me tell you Or I don't know. Hey, let me tell you, I don't understand what either of you are talking about right now. Neither of you are speaking real. I get it. He gets it. As in like the comfort of a person lulls you. Also, maybe it is a complimentary thing. It's like you're so cool, you're so comforting.

He'd be so at peace around you. you i think 100 that this dude meant this as a as a very flirty charming compliment so much like the guy in question one he doesn't flirt as well as fictional man with wings yes and he kind of tried to do something he gave it a go maybe when she was like what the fuck do you mean he was like oh shit i don't know why i have to explain this i don't want to know like her to know i'm flirting and he was like you don't get it yeah you don't know why I have to explain this. I don't want her to know I'm flirting and he was just like, you don't get it. Yeah, you don't get it.

Never mind. Never mind. Never mind, you don't get it. It's just a cool thing cool guys say. I mean, I also understand with the sense of like,

if I was trying to get work done and a woman that I was attracted to was like, I'll come over. I'm not getting anything done. For sure. It doesn't matter what I'm trying to, I'm not just going to ignore you

and do my homework honestly if I got homework most people are going to distract me if they come over yes it's very rare that you get work done in a group setting unless she was saying I'll come over and do my homework as well

it's like I'm going to keep you on task look you're not gonna. I'm telling you right now. But would you fall asleep? It depends on what we're doing. But I get it. If this dude is tired, and we're all tired. I'm so fucking tired.

Then chances are you're going to sit down at some point in time. Again, I don't think I would just pass out with... But again, I think this dude was trying to make a move here and be like, like sit down at some point in time again i don't think i would just pass out with but again i think this dude was i think this dude was trying to like make a move here and be like oh you're so comforting and i like you around and i think it just came off as just fucking we ripped immediately and was like you're so fucking boring i mean shit you don't get it girl you make me narcoleptic what does it mean i I don't know.

That is a power move, though, to be immediately called out on the weird thing you say. You just be like, you don't get it. You don't get it. Hey, it's a power move, I say, I think. If you try to shoot your shot and someone's like, what the fuck are you talking about? You're like, never mind. You know, he got no homework done because he spent the whole night being like, you fucking idiot.

God damn it, Dave. He literally just went to the bathroom mirror and stared at himself while listening to that Sound of Silence cover. Just, hello, darkness, my old friend. It was, yeah, there's no way that this guy got anything done other than realizing how much he hates himself

when he talks. He needs to go to book talk. Brush up on that flirting. Yeah, him and the guy from the first he talks. He needs to go to book talk. He does need to brush up on that flirting. Yeah, him and the guy from the first question are gonna have to go to a seminar to how to be flirty. Because this isn't it. It's not it. I don't think.

We're gonna take a quick 10 or so minute break. This is an excellent chance to write questions down on your little question sheets. If you want, take a picture. Again, tag us and Black Sheep. If you're a private account, which is totally fine, just flag us over and show us. Just let us know so we can

put you in the mix. You don't need to un-private for us. You don't have to do that. And then we'll be back. If you have a question, give it to us and we'll start answering those in the next act. We'll see you in about 10, 15. Love you. We got some questions.

You guys, you guys did as well. We also got some posts. You guys did as well. We also got some posts, so thank you. There's some fierce competition going for the shots, but there's still time for you to enter in. And there's also something important we did forget to tell you, which is that in the third act, before we close things out, we do an online dating profile review. Oh, true.

So if anybody has a profile they would like reviewed, send it into our Instagram. We need the text and the prompts more than we need photos. We're not going to judge how you look in photos. Unless you have a wild fucking photo. Unless your photo is integral to your profile, we aren't going to talk about it because it just comes down to like. Yeah. I don't know. For reference, the one photo.

Looks are subjective. We've talked about two photos pretty much. about it because it just comes down to like yeah i don't know for reference the one photo subjective we've talked about two photos pretty much uh one was a man who was very shredded topless wearing nothing but jeans on the back of a horse yeah uh who came to the show and decided to show us that picture and he looked great but it was confusing uh the other one was a man who was completely naked with very long hair fanned out behind him in like an incredible, I don't know how he did it, also on a horse. So, yeah, I don't know. So maybe if you have a picture on a horse,

in a state of undress on a horse, I guess we'll talk about it. Yeah, we'll talk about it. At this point, it's kind of getting cliche. You know what? This is the first time I've ever seen people write like horizontally or vertically. Exclusively. Yeah? This is the first time I've ever seen people write like horizontally or vertically. Exclusively.

Yeah. This is crazy. I guess because we don't have the lines, but this is blowing my mind. Yeah. Usually we have lines on there, but then my printer decided to be a piece of shit and it's, it's brought weird results and I kind of love it. Yeah. This is great.

Uh, do you want to start? You start. Yeah. I love this. What's your beigest flag oh okay um and they've also drawn a diagram so a beige flag is between green and red yeah and i love the diagram good job i mean technically on the color wheel that's not true shut the fuck up um this is i think horosc, astrology is a big beige flag for me because it depends

on how, like it's, if you're just in it for fun, then okay, whatever. So I think it's like, it really depends on which direction you want to go. If you're making important life decisions based on astrology. Honestly, if you're making pretty much any decisions based on astrology. Unless it's like lunch and your astrology and your horoscopes like avoid cucumbers, then sure. But if an astrology horoscope thing tells you that something needs to change and you're like, I guess I should break up with my boyfriend, I worry about you. So I think astrology is. That's fair. So I think astrology is my big beige flag. I really need to see what side you're tipping before I.

I think in that same kind of vein, if you see a dating profile and they're like, ENFJ. It's like I joke about it being a bigger flag when we go through profiles. I don't really give a shit, but it's kind of like, hmm. So for me, I promise you that the person who wrote that and put that in their profile doesn't know what the fuck it means, so why would I? Right? I'm sure that if I asked

people who had that and be like, what does that mean? They'd be like, I don't know. Or they would explain themselves as if they would explain themselves normally, at which point, just do that. Yeah, yeah. There are easier ways to do it. I think mine is horses.

Despite what we just talked about. What? We just talked about people on horses. Yeah, I never said how I judged them. It's true, yeah. No, I hated them. I always make a joke. I had an ex who owned a horse, and it was traumatizing.

Them, not hated them. I always make a joke. I had an ex who owned a horse, and it was traumatizing. Them, not the horse. So I make a joke about how much I hate horses and horse girls. So it's not as big of a joke as I make it, but it is a little ping on the radar. Like, hmm, you get worried about horse girls. I do. That's fair. I'm on my guard. Yeah.

I'm trying to think if I have any others. I'm sure I do. I know later on I'll be sitting alone with my thoughts thoughts and I'll be like, yep, there's one. Yeah. It's a very fun question. I will say, let's make it a little bit more fun. If anyone submits a question or if you don't have a question to submit, you can write down one of your beige flags. Yeah.

And we'll read them out in Act 3. If anyone needs more paper. We got it. We got it. Don't you worry. Let us know. Yeah, we would love to know your beige flags. That'd be really fun.

Yeah. Great question. There's got to be one. I'm going to keep thinking. If you think of them, you can. Let us know. Yeah, we would love to know your base flags. That'd be really fun. Yeah. Great question. There's got to be one. I'm going to keep thinking. If you think of them, you can just throw them out. Yeah. Me? Yeah.

Yeah. Great. I was like, let's not encourage that of the audience. My partner and I live together for four years now. I love him lots, and he's great. However, every time I start to feel sick, cold, flu, et cetera, he all of a sudden starts feeling sick too and says that he thinks he has what i have i'm so rarely sick and i feel like he has a man cold every other day how do i

tell him that i just want to be taken care of for once and not have to worry about feeling sorry and sympathetic to him does his immune system just fucking suck and he's actually catching what you got if he's always sick it's not breaking the pattern to also be sick when you're sick i mean also maybe he's the one getting you sick if he's always sick yeah his fucking shitty ass immune system is just wearing you down over the year and now have you considered just not getting sick because you can do that yeah right you can just not get sick what What? You chose to be sick? It's weird. That's not making this relationship

enjoyable. Yeah. I was with a girl who wasn't sick before. I could do it again. I could find a healthy girl. Hey, good luck finding a healthy girl. There is one person who joined midway through and did not see the first act. Oh, yeah. They're like,

what the fuck? These guys are idiots. Yeah, that's tough. I get that. And it's tough to be like, it is a very hard conversation to be like, hey. You can't be like, I don't really think you're sick. Yeah. Or like. Also coddle me.

Yeah. And be like, stop. You know what I mean? Like, it's tough. So what you got to do is you need proof and I'm thinking blood test you know when he's not looking and then you go and you do a little test and you go well I talked to Dr. Jeremy and he says you're not sick so make me some soup I think you just need to enter into a game of sick chicken sicken sicken in which case every time he talks about a symptom you have it worse okay if he if he's getting the man flu he's

already got practice and being like i got it worse yeah but here's the great thing you can always go bigger that's true if he starts coughing you're on your knees, like going red in the face. There's a really great scene in Erin Brockovich where Julia Roberts- Your drink almost went on that laptop. That's fine. You know I get excited when I talk about Julia Roberts and Erin Brockovich. It's true. Where she coughs.

I think you watch that scene for reference on how to like really sell it. Because I promise you, if you start coughing like that, no one, I mean, you might have to break up with your partner if they see you cough like that. And they're like, actually, but I'm more sick than you. Okay. Yeah, it's rough. It's tough. It's more rough. More it's gruff.

It's tough. It is. rough. More it's gruff. It's tough. It is. No, I don't know. I think you gotta raise this maybe when you're not both sick or none of you are sick. It doesn't sound like there's a time where he isn't. That's true. Is this man dying? Have you started, did you go back in time a la a smut book and pick up a very sickly

Victorian man from the 1600s? Are you dating some kind of Oliver Twist waif? Yeah. Maybe, first and foremost, I think you've got a problem here. But I think you might also maybe get this man to a doctor. Get him some fucking vitamins. Yeah. He needs them.

Get him the gummy ones. Because I feel like those are the only ones he'll... I'm casting aspersions on this man. I sorry i think we're allowed to yeah that's fair as are they here wait hold on here legally you have to tell me if this man is here all right great then we'll keep dunking on his ass he's fucking we're gonna flame him yeah uh i think like when you're not sick and when he's not sick you could be like you know what and like no again like earlier on we mentioned, no aggression. Don't like come at them,

but be just like, it kind of sucks that like, it's such a coincidence that whenever I'm sick, you are too. Cause like when you're sick, you want somebody to look after you. And like, if you look after him

when he's sick all these times, you can be like, it just sucks that when I'm sick, I don't get that. And if he's weird about that, he's not a great partner. I think you can even leave out the first part and just be like, you know, sometimes it's like I don't get as sick as often as you. And I feel like when I do get sick, it really kicks my ass.

Because that's me. I mean, it's changed post-COVID. I find that I get sick a little more frequently nowadays. But way back in the day, I would get sick maybe like once or twice a year and it would beat my ass. It would like, I'd be out for like 72 hours and then I'd be fine. But like those, those days would be really, really, really, really bad. So I think like there's no harm in being like, Hey, when I get sick, it, it knocks me the fuck out. And it's really, really difficult to difficult to also worry about you or to take care of you. So it's like those days when I'm not feeling well, like I'd really appreciate it if you could maybe go above and beyond

and really try to like take care of me because it's not something that I get often and it's something I would really appreciate. And look, there's going to be times where the likelihood of living with someone and getting sick at the same time It's pretty high you're sharing germs your swap and spit your you know there's there's a likelihood that you are going to be sick At the same time yeah, which is like what makes this Difficult of a question yeah, does it it is? plausible That it might happen you know especially like if you have a good immune system And he doesn't by the time you're feeling sick He's probably like shooting straight to sick even if he caught it off you.

But that just makes it hard to deny. I don't know. It sucks. Yeah. And if he is a time-traveling Victorian sickly man, maybe get him some leeches. Yeah. Right? Or one of those cool plague doctor masks.

Yeah. Have you tried draining his humors? Yeah. Have you taken him to an alchemist, perhaps? But yeah, I think expressing sort of like how important it is to be taken care of, hopefully will offset, will sort of like light a fire under his ass so that even if he's feeling not great, he'll be like, you know what? You take care of me.

Yeah. I think there's no harm in being like, hey, I do this for you when you're sick and it kind of is a bummer that I don't get it. You know what I me. Yeah. Therefore, you know, I think there's, there's no harm in being like, Hey, like I do this for you when it's, you know, when you're sick and like, it kind of is a bummer that I don't get it. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's a fine thing to say.

Reciprocation is important. If you're like, Hey, I do the dishwasher every fucking week or whatever. I do the laundry. It would be nice if you did it. That shouldn't be a fight, you know?

Yeah. Uh, my longterm partner has been having erectile difficulties. He's great. And so make sure I finish every time, but lately I've been feeling guilty that I'm unable to solve his problem. Any advice? Okay.

One, big up to this dude for making sure that you're taken care of despite extraneous circumstances. Two, it's not on you to solve this problem. Yes. It's on you to support during the problem. And after. And after and before. So it seems like this isn't as bad as it could be.

Well I think step one is you gotta know that it isn't your problem to solve. Yeah, it's not on you. I very much doubt they expect it to be on you and the only way to make it, well, there are many ways to make it worse, but you feeling guilty or responsible or like in any way like at fault

is a way to make it worse. Yeah, I mean, the thing with erectile difficulty is like the reasons and causes for it are sort of like an old timey cartoon when someone whips out a list and it keeps rolling. We could spend the rest of the show listing reasons why it could be.

And it could be none of them, could be all of them, could be some of them. And it's like, the list is everything from like, it's too hot, he's tired. It's too cold.

It happened once and now he's in his head about it. He's worried that he won't. So now his body's like, oh, let's not to, to actual like medical issues that like you literally could not solve even if you wanted to.

Yeah. Um, so there, the important thing is, is like, it's, it's so easy for whatever the underlying causes to no longer be the cause because our bodies and our brains

are constantly working against us. This is our mental health portion where we talk about how your brain's watching you dead. Your brain's a fucking asshole. But like Niall mentioned it, where it's like, it's one of those things that snowballs. For sure.

So the first time it happens, you could go your whole life and you've never had this problem and then it happens and then for the rest of your life – You're so worried that it will happen again. It's in the back of your head. It's like, hey, time to not – you know.

Yeah. So it's one of those things where you've got to walk a fine line between being supportive and not making a big deal out of it. Yeah. And I think like if you guys have talked about it, I don't know if you have, maybe have a conversation about it, not in the heat of the moment, because that's bad. Have a talk about it at a different time.

Be supportive. Try to be really cognizant, because it's a thing people are really very much in their own heads and insecure and societally told that they're less of a man because of things. It's a very touchy subject. So if you're-

Yeah, there's almost no positive media in which we talk about it. Like it's always the punchline of a joke. Yes, yes. So, you know, be chill. Be aware that things can be misconstrued. But like, have a chat and be like, you know, I don't know if they've seen the doctor.

Maybe they should if it's something they want to do. Because it could be a medical issue. It could be a lot of different things. But if you talk to them and see how they're feeling about it, you know, and then once that's done, if they're like, no, it's all good, like it's just something I have to deal with, then you just go, okay, and you be supportive

and like don't bring it up again. And appreciative. And appreciative. Right, like if after sex, if you know, for whatever reason, either he can't get hard or he beat him soft after sex, if for whatever reason, either he can't get hard or he becomes soft during sex and you're just like, hey, thank you. That was great. Then it's really easy to start thinking that you are less of a man or not a good lover or whatever.

If you sort of reaffirm that you are still being satisfied and you are still – You still find them attractive and sexy and this was a good sexual encounter. I think the best thing you can do is take the pressure off. That's pretty much it. Be supportive and take the pressure off. And the supporting part comes with the conversation and then taking the pressure off is in the act

and everything else. It's like you don't make it about that. Because even if you try really hard to like solve his problem That could be a backfiring thing where you are making too much of a big deal about it So I think you just gotta be chill talk to him see if any like if he wants to seek outside help and That's pretty much it. Yeah, and and just again sort of reaffirm that you support whatever decision he wants So if he wants to like uh look

into medication um then then be like yeah that's great i'm like you know i mean like i think a lot of people see it as a weakness or failing or or giving up yeah to to rely on on medication but like it's fucking if you get a cold it's not giving up to take meds yeah someone tell that other guy fucking take some fucking day cool he thinks taking vitamins is's not giving up to take meds yeah someone tell that other guy fucking take some fucking day cool he thinks taking vitamins is a fucking giving up yeah well he doesn't believe in modern medicine he doesn't know what he doesn't understand he doesn't know yeah um this is another question here that i'm going to read good job oh. Oh, yeah. Is he interested? When a grown man keeps asking you on a date but never plans one, is he really interested in you or even dating?

Yeah. I appreciate that you've specified two things that have really impressed me with this question is you do mention that he's a grown man. Fantastic. Very important. And two, you've used a semicolon, which kicks ass. Yeah. That's just a grammar thing that I appreciate.

Okay. I think we need to break down this whole thing. If he's continually asking you on a date, what's your answer? Yeah. If you're just like, yeah, sure. If someone said sure to me, if I asked them out, I'd be like, oh, you're not interested. Because I'm worried that this dude has written a question across town at another show that says, is she interested? Yeah.

I'm a grown man that keeps asking a woman on a date. Semicolon. Semicolon. But she doesn't seem interested. Should I, you know what I mean? Like, that's my worry is that depending on how, if it's through text, I feel like there needs to be a lot more, you need to be really clear about whether or not you actually want to do it.

Because through text, again, if this is over an app or like Instagram DMs or like whatever, chances are it has to be. Because I can't imagine it's impersonal. Like, hey, do you want to go out sometime? Yeah. All right. Yeah, cool.

And he's fucking gone. He just wanders off. But men are weird. I've seen, hey, I've seen worse. We've seen much worse. I think, one, if he's asking you out, presumably interested in you, presumably interested in dating.

He might just be a big fucking weirdo or scared. I don't know. This man may never have read a book on BookTok. Yeah, right? His flirting game is fucking trash. We can't all be Reese and Tam. Tamil? Tamil?

Tamlin. Fuck. We can't all be Reese and Tamlin. Tamlin's a terrible name. Tamlin is not a hot name. Because if I were to shorten it, I'm calling a man I'm supposed to find hot, Tammy? What about Lynn? That's my mom's name, so absolutely not.

That ain't gonna work for me at all. So the real question here is, are you interested in him? Are you interested? And are you interested in him? And are you interested in dating? Because if you are, a very easy way to figure out this question is to be like, hey, yeah, let's go on a date. Want to go here on this date? But, I mean, yes. And if he's like, oh, and he runs away again, yeah, there's something going on and it's not you and him dating. I think we're falling into the trap of the onus being on the man.

And I do, I believe that the person asking on the date should take the lead. I agree that. Regardless. And I think women should be asking men on dates. And I think men should be asking men on dates and men and women. But that's not what's happening. And if it's not what's happening, fuck it. So I think here's, I'm going to meet you in the middle.

I think you say, you pick a day that you're free. You're free Thursday night. And you say, yeah, I'm free thursday ball is in his court if you even hit him with a where do you want to go what are you thinking yeah right um but i think being very clear and very specific of being like yes i would love to go on a date with you that sounds like a lot of fun you you know tell me a time and place but put the ball in the court because unfortunately or just fucking say yeah you want to go here what's wrong with that yes i mean there's nothing wrong with that if you actually like this person yes you could you could say oh here's a date here's a time and hope they fill in the thing if they're just fucking bad at it surely there's a

reason you like them so maybe we can overlook this for now. Maybe that's the only flaw. Yeah. I doubt it, but maybe. Beige flag here. So just say, hey, let's go here. And if they're weird, that's your answer. If not, you get to meet them in person on a date and then figure out if the other shit matters. Yeah. Again, my big concern is re-evaluate your answer

because if it seems lackluster and assume, like don't read it the way that you've written it. Read it the way that you would read it if someone sent it to you because nine times out of 10,

you're gonna be like, oh yeah, no, that sounds, like if I got that text, I would definitely not think you're interested. I almost want to mock

the situation in which the man gets a lackluster answer and goes, hmm, I don't know if she's into it. I'll try again next week but then I realize that's kind of how men work. That is, I don't know if she's into it. I'll try again next week.

But then I realized that's kind of how men work. So yeah, not in a good way. All right, back to non-audience questions. I hope that helped. I hope it did. Let's go for this one. This is by, this is from my favorite, and by that I mean my least favorite subreddit,

which is the Seduction subreddit. The title is Dopamine Detox, then Riz Till I Die, which is my favorite album. There's some nights when I'm on fire. Everyone I talk to is super interested. Random girls go up to me and cheers my drink. I only approach the 10s, and they're all number closes or better. I'm not even good looking or tall, but my energy makes up for it.

Well, last night was not one of those nights. I folded. I couldn't make any approaches. I made an excuse not to hit on every girl. When I finally talked to a girl at the bar, my line was, so are you from here? It's okay to be tired or not feeling it, but let's look at the facts. I started playing video games again.

I got tired of cooking and cleaning so i started eating fast food again i haven't been to the gym in months i can't tell you when the last time i put anything more than face wash on my skin and for god's sakes i wore a hoodie to the bar just because you hit your goals does not mean you've made it inner game is a a lifelong process. I'm going on a full dopamine detox for two weeks to reset my brain and going all in on self-development. My point is, if you catch bad habits, kill them and move on. It's easy to get over a few bumps on the road, but it's damn tough to do a full reset. Good luck to all the guys out there. Score some baddies for me. I'm feeling so inspired. I love that this man is like,

I'm not feeling great, so the only thing I need to do is cut out everything that makes me happy. Damn, I kind of didn't pick up last night at the club. I can't be happy for two weeks. Never any more video games. Yeah, man, this guy's on Minecraftcraft being like i'm such a piece of shit fuck uh this is it's the problem is that he wore a hoodie yeah i mean

hold on let me make sure no one's wearing a hoodie it's the summer yeah i mean it's chilly in here i mean it's comfortable in here it's nice in here. I mean, it's comfortable in here. It's nice in here. I'm hot. Yeah, you are. I want to talk about... I want to go through this. I went to school for acting, and one of my favorite things to do is script analysis. And I want to go through this,

and beat by beat, and find his motivations. Well, this could be an Oscar-winning monologue. It is. It's kind of like Shakespeare. This is like Glen Ross. This is the selling, closing monologue. And I strongly believe that.

This is art. This is sad. And it's really upsetting that this isn't like an isolated thing. This is how a lot of men feel, especially when it comes to self self-worth in the sense of like i went out and didn't validate myself through kissing someone or getting a phone number or getting attention or whatever therefore i'm a failure i'm a piece of shit and now i'm gonna punish myself via like whatever stupid bullshit anything i like and doing anything I like. And it's like, I'm all for,

if you've fallen into bad habits, like, you know, by all means, if you feel like your hygiene is lacking or that you're eating shit food, by all means, make changes that make you happy and go to the gym and like, you know. But it's so weird that you're like, oh, I want to cut out dopamine,

but I am going to eat good food and go to the gym. All things that create. Presumably, like, oh, I want to cut out dopamine, but I am going to eat good food and go to the gym. All things that create. Presumably, like, make dopamine. What the fuck are you eating that you're like, this is not giving me any dopamine? But it is good for me. Or like, you're at the gym. What are you doing in the gym that's that sad?

Like, I don't love going to the gym, but you still feel good afterwards. I mean, yeah, like, that's the whole sort of like chemical reaction of going to the gym. It's like a good workout generates dopamine and serotonin like all the feel-good you know chemicals in your brain like that's that's the nice thing about worse like if you're not having fun we talked about we did like a deep dive on like picking up at a bar on one of our patreon episodes it's like if you're out with your friends you're having fun and you're having a good week,

and you're feeling yourself, that's far more attractive than if you're on a sadness binge. I'm so sad. I've been sad for two fucking weeks, and I'm not wearing a hoodie. How are you doing? I haven't felt joy in two weeks.

You wanna give me your phone number? Where are the tans at? Cause I've done fucking nothing. It's rough. It's not how you live. Or it's not how you should fucking live. Yeah, I was going to say, it's how a lot of men live, and it's not great. Advice.

What do we do here? Don't do this. Don't do this. Dopamine binge is nothing. Well, it's dopamine detox. He's not binging. Sorry. Sadness binge is nothing. Yes. He's not, oh yeah, sorry. A sadness binge is nothing.

Yes, it's not a thing to do. And I promise you, everyone in a- It's not gonna work also. Like city radius is gonna like look at you and be like, this guy's fucking miserable. No one's gonna be like, ah, he's really working on himself. Look at him being sad.

Like there's nothing about that that's gonna radiate uh any any sort of like attraction to someone like i can maybe all the numbers were like pity numbers like he walks into the bar shivering because he's of a hoodie he's like he hasn't eaten well in weeks and he's just like all i've done is stare at the walls. Can I have your number? And she's like, sure, buddy. Yeah. It's nine sevens. Here it is. The number to my therapist. It's bad, and I hope you feel better.

Take care of yourself. By all means, we always encourage people to make better choices and to like, you know, self-improvement is an important part of life, and I think you should always be striving to make the changes that make you happy. But if the changes that make you happy is removing the things you want to do and that make you happy. Removing literal happiness from your fucking life? No, that's not it.

I think you've done a bad job at self-improvement. Yeah. And maybe you have an addictive personality. Maybe you just limit screen time. If video games are such a bad part of Your life to the point that they affect things That's that's a different thing to being like I didn't get a girl last night It must be because I played minecraft last week. They can smell it on me

Yeah, you know that's not it, but if it's a problem see a therapist or limit your screen time But those are things where it's like you can still get that that happiness from it Yeah, do your delete your delivery apps? Those are things where it's like you can still get that happiness from it. Yeah. Delete your delivery apps. I have to do that frequently because I fall into traps where I'm just ordering Subway every day. Sure. We're going to take a quick break. That's the end of our second act.

If you have beige flags, let us know. We would love to see those. Beige flags, questions, posts for the shot contest, which will be pulled in about 10, 15 minutes. True. We'll give you guys pretty much right before we go back on. Yeah. If you want to win those shots, tag us and Black Sheep. QR code at the bottom brings us to our Instagram. Or at the top, depending on how you've angled your sheet, you crazy people.

Or on the right. On top of that, last few minutes to get those dating profiles in. If you want them reviewed. We're generally kind, unless you don't deserve it. Yeah. You've got to be a real, real piece of shit. I wasn't going to say it, but okay. Yeah, we'll see you guys in about 10, 15. We're back.

For our final act, you guys delivered with the beige flags. You have a lot of beige flags. I fucking love it. Also, congrats to our shot flags. You have a lot of beige flags. I fucking love it. Also, congrats to our shot winners. Some have been drank. Some are yet to be drank. I don't know.

Maybe they're drank. Congrats. Y'all rock. They drank. Do we want to go through just all the beige flags? Let's just fucking jump into them. Or should we interspace them? Interspace them.

Let's do one each and then we'll get into them. Okay. I'm going to start with this nightmarishly folded one. Okay. Wow. Just coming out the gate with this one. People with families who don't drink alcohol. Damn.

That's both of us. Yeah. Damn. Okay. Fuck you. All right. Jeez. Gamers.

Wow. Okay. Is this targeted specifically at us? They were listening to the dopamine detox question they're like good yeah good yeah uh only drink sparkling water in brackets instead of tap okay okay yeah i get that i'm bored with that one i get that sure there's also some nightmare drawings and i love love them. Thank you. Yeah. Well, oh, yeah. Maybe these are our beige flag. Yeah. Our beige flag are you.

This one, hold on. It's hard to read when there's a screen. Beige flags. Gamers who speed run. Okay. Damn. Okay. That's a deep cut.

Enjoy single room karaoke. Okay. Doing 12 shots in a night and not being hungover. I feel like I know who these people are. Drinking whiskey sours with egg white on purpose. Yeah, okay. I can get behind

those. Called shots there and I appreciate it. I don't know if any of these are also questions. I think they're all beige flags. We do have a question so let's take a little question break between the beige flags yep uh it's a big one i have a friend who is very proudly polyamorous is a huge aspect of his social life to the point that is a defining feature about him he's been casually seeing a woman who he wants in his life for the long haul she is not poly he respects that she respects that he is now he's recently decided he's reaching a

point in his relationship with her where he's comfortable being entirely exclusive with her because he's that into her however because he is and has been poly she does not want to become more serious with him saying that she worries she'll be holding him back how would you handle the situation should he count as a loss and move on or could there still be something worth pursuing if they do have a meaningful connection and then a bunch of hearts thanks yeah okay this is an interesting uh question and something near and dear to my heart because i consider myself polyamorous forward who has recently transitioned into a monogamous exclusive relationship. And I get it. I get it from both sides of things of being like, you know, being Pauly and that being who you are

and then finding someone and being like, actually, this is a person I would like to just be with. But I also understand the idea of being like, oh, if this is a lifestyle you really like, I, one, don't want you to like turn around a couple months in and be like actually yeah or if if you've always been staunchly poly to the point where it's like again a defining feature of your like personality you would almost feel like oh they're making this

like allowance for me yeah this is a this is a compromise or a shift for my sake. Yeah. I think in this case, the person is not saying no. They're asking for reassurance. Yeah. I think both of you have to sit down and have the conversation and be like, I am making this choice not for you but for me because of you. Yeah. And being like, I really like you and this is something that I want to pursue and I wouldn't make this choice if it wasn't something that I wanted to do.

And also you have to like listen to their concerns and be like, I get. Instead of just listening or like on top of just listening, I think ask them. Be like, hey, what are your concerns? Yeah. And I think you guys need to be on the same page of being like, we need to operate. Like we we need to much like you do in any relationship, but especially in polyamamy isn't working or you want to pursue other people.

You need to let me know ASAP without any guilt, without any fear. You need to prioritize honesty and truth and openness first and foremost. The way that you should in any relationship, but it's especially important when you're navigating a relationship with different partners. I will say the good thing about this is it's really not that dissimilar to dating somebody who was single. Because if they were single and they enjoyed being single, it's like at some point they might want to be single again.

And it's like, I feel like the fear is more prevalent if it's like, oh, they're poly, they might wanna be poly again. But it's like, that's the same. If more prevalent if it's like, oh, they're poly. They might want to be poly again. But it's like, that's the same. If you're dating someone and they don't want to date you, that also could happen. So it's like you might be adding additional fear to this that you don't need to. Because either way, the end result's the same. If somebody wants to date other people and you're not cool with poly, that's it.

And it's a good metric as well. We talk about a lot of these really, really exciting litmus tests of figuring out who a person is really, really quickly into a relationship by having specific challenges. If you have a challenge in a relationship early on, this is a great way to be like, how do we deal with this? Because if they deal with it poorly or or they don't wanna talk about it, or they're reserved, or they have walls up and barriers and whatever, and they're not willing to work with you. Yeah, if you're trying to explain your case and they're like, no, you're poly, it won't work.

Do you want a partner that's not gonna take your words seriously? And also, is that going to be, if this was me and I sat down with someone and I was like, hey, I know that I typically skew polyamorous, but I really like you, and I would like to be exclusive with you, and I'm very confident about this decision, and they were like,

yeah, but you're poly. That would, for me, be a real, sort of a immediate red flag. Because you're judging somebody based on their sexual preference and putting them in this weird hole. But it's not even that, It's more the fact that, oh, you're going to weaponize this. Yes. If this is what you're concerned about now,

there's a very good chance that anytime we're out or anytime I'm out without you, you're going to be worried that I'm going to... But that's it. They're pigeonholing you because of your sexual preferences and it's adding on all this bullshit around it and then accusing you of stuff. It's like when people find out a partner is bisexual

and then all of a sudden it's like, now I have to worry about everyone. And it's like, well, that's not the case. It's like, just because someone is bi doesn't mean that they will sleep with everyone. Being bi doesn't mean you're slutty. And hey, sleeping with everyone doesn't mean you're slutty either.

Well, it does, but being slutty is not bad. Yeah, that's great. I want to make sure we're not... No, we're not, it does, but being slutty is not bad. Yeah, that's great. I want to make sure we're not... No, we're not slut-shaming. Being slutty is fucking great. Yes, please. In fact, everyone should be a little slutty. A little sluttier.

Just turn it up. Yeah, I literally had a friend who came out and their partner was like, fuck, now I have to worry about twice as many people. And it was like, what? What are you talking about? Yeah, so have this conversation and be and like you need to everyone needs to be honest and like if if you or or if the partner is like sorry i don't know if i can relax with you know either insecurities or trust issues or whatever

or it's like i don't know if i could ever chill knowing that at any point in time you might want to be and you raise a great point of being like what's the what's the difference between being like i was single and now i want to be exclusive with you because at some point in time people break up because they don't want to be with you anymore and that could be true regardless of sexual preference or you know sexual orientation it doesn't matter like people who aren't poly still want to have a different partner at some point. Yeah. You know what I mean?

So that's the exact same thing. It's just like this weird added weight. So have the conversation, and if you truly want to be with this person, make sure they know that because it feels like they need reassurance right now. I think the two really important things on both sides for the poly person, you need to be like, this is a choice that I'm'm making and i'm very confident that i want to make it yeah and i will be very open and honest should that to start change so that i'm not yeah leading you on or wasting your time i'm not cheating on you or whatever you know it's like i i won't use that as an excuse polyamorous

is not an excuse for me to be like well i'm poly you knew that so of course i'm gonna fuck other like make sure that's clear and be like, that's not who I am and that's not what I'm going to do. And then on the other side, you need to get the assurance of being like, you need to be cool with the fact that I subscribed to Paulie Armory and have chosen to be monogamous.

Just cancel your subscription. And then be like, you can't use this as a weapon. Ammo or weapon. Or like be bitter about it later on. Just be chill. You can't use this insecurity to badger me. I've chosen to. You need to trust me.

And if you don't trust me, and you don't think you can trust me, then let me know now. We'll bow out and we'll call it a loss. I think that's the really, really important conversation you have. Beige flag. Beige flags. Is that our new segment? Okay. jesus i cannot read this shit beige flag oh okay he on the apps has fish pics not because i hate fish pics but because how do you know how do you not know everyone else hates them this is a red flag this is This is a thing. Where have you been? Zero self-awareness.

That's a great point. It is. If you don't understand that it's a societal... Yeah, it's a meme. At this point in time, if you aren't aware that the fish... If you have a neck beard and you're also wearing a fedora, how do you not know? How do you not know

what you've done? Change one of those things. Maybe both. Uses WhatsApp only. They hate people from other countries. Guys with podcasts. Hey, only beige.

I'll take beige. You know what? I agree with that. I do agree, sadly. Because if I also walked in and saw two white guys doing a podcast about sex and dating, I would be... The best part is usually before our shows, Dane just blares a pit bull playlist, which just adds an extra level of fear. Yeah, you just see the anxiety building in everyone.

The fuck does that say? It looks like it says Sasquatch. It does look like it says Sasquatch. Yeah, the Sasquatch is, I like it's a sasquatch it does look like it says sasquatch yeah the sasquatch is i guess only a beige flag irish okay fuck you says love you way too much fuck you east ender that's neither of us tea at bars oh i okay i i see someone currently drinking a tea at the bar so um what the oh i i understand what this says it's a sapiosexual and i kind of get it that's if you have it on your profile it's like do you need to say that that's like if they're a human i think it's like everyone i think it's your into intelligence oh you think we should know this obviously they would not be into us. Safe.

My beige flag is men with long hair. I know I shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but I have long hair trauma. But you should judge a book by how hairy it is. It's true. If you pick up a book and it's covered in hair, I wouldn't touch it. Yeah, I get it. It's gross. I got one here for you.

Okay. Saw boyfriend jerking it on our cameras once I left for work. Need advice. Boyfriend's amazing, and he understood my negative perspective on porn. Him jerking it to other women makes me feel super uncomfortable. He doesn't watch porn anymore, and I can confirm that through his screen time. However, he sits on Facebook and Instagram a lot. They're pretty clean reels of explicit... Whoa, sorry. He sits on Facebook and Instagram a lot. They're pretty clean reels of explicit... Whoa, sorry.

He sits on Facebook and Instagram reels a lot. They're pretty clean of explicit content. Nothing risque pops up on his feed. He does have pornish ads, though, which I thought was odd. I left for work this morning and was watching our cameras. He was watching Facebook reels for a while. Then out of nowhere, pops his dick out, starts beating it to some video that was not intended to be sexual, but probably had a hot woman in it.

It only lasted a minute, but I still felt a pit in my stomach. I tried to finish him off once a day so he doesn't need to do that. Not sure how to bring this up or navigate the situation. Do I ignore it? Need advice. There's so much going on here that I don't know where to start. One, you're monitoring his screen? What does that mean?

It's bad. Okay. We've moved from the beige flags onto the red flags. Yeah, just heaps of red flags. So I was on my jerk off camera watching my boyfriend from work i like how boss comes in and they're like are you watching porn no i'm just spying on my boyfriend he's watching non-explicit instagram reels it's fine i want to know like how do you know he was looking at a reel that was not meant to be

exactly explicit also she says it's a reel that was not meant to be explicit? Also, it's a fucking Facebook reel. Of course it's not explicit. I hate to tell you, like, I'm sure there's, you know, there's spicy content. But, like, it's not porn, so there's never going to be explicit content on Facebook and Instagram. But also, it's like, if you know it's not explicit, shouldn't you know if there's a hot woman in it? You say, there's probably a hot woman. So you don't know what it is. Yeah. So how do you know it's a Facebook reel? What are you doing? there's a hot woman in it? You say, there's probably a hot woman. So you don't know what it is. So how do you know it's a Facebook reel?

What are you doing? What's happening here? Why are you on cameras? It's, I don't. There's a camera over their partner on their computer. That's not cool. That's not where you're getting robbed. I assume it's like a security cam

for like the whole apartment. Maybe. But I, honestly, the problem. Does he know the camera's there? Does he know the whole apartment. Maybe. But honestly, the problem- Does he know the camera's there? Does he know the camera there is a very important question. Because if he lives in this jerk-off world, I don't think he'd just be like, well, I thought you said camp jerk-off world. And I was like, now that's a teen movie that needs to be made.

That's what he was watching. That's one of those direct-to-video American Pie movies. Yeah. One, you need to chill the fuck out, right? Just on every possible level. And look, I get it. You can be insecure about porn. That's fine. But you're also, like, is the idea not porn but him masturbating?

That seems to be the problem, right? Because he's not looking at porn based on your crazy CSI. You're looking at the reflection of his phone in the fucking… Enhance. Zoom in. Enhance. Yeah. The reflection of his eyelid shows it was Facebook Reels, but I couldn't tell if the girl was hot.

There's some poor IT guy at your office. You're like, oh, God, I can't watch your boyfriend jerk off again, Claire. Please stop bringing this to me. Yeah, he's still on Instagram reels, but also I've seen this dick way too much. Please. It's reaching the HR limit. It's

wild that you're doing this. You shouldn't have to monitor your partner ever. You shouldn't have to spy on your partner ever. Also, you shouldn't jerk them off just so that they don't. That's a fucked up part. Yes. I try to fish them off so he doesn't feel like that sucks for you.

That's probably the worst hand job. You should jerk them off when you want to. No wonder he's fucking jerking it to Facebook. He's got this limp like, fuck. I just got drunk. Are you done yet? I just, we gotta. She's like about to tick the box.

Like, I just, please. Right? Like, does he want this every day? Yeah, he wakes up and he's just trying to hide from you so you don't fucking jerk him off. But he can't hide because you have cameras everywhere. Yeah, you just pop it open and be like, I see you, Greg. Got you. He's in the closet just jerking it.

Please. This sounds like prison. It sounds like Saw. Do you want to play a game? Do you want to watch a reel? Let me just check your screen time. Okay, go for it i like are you do you actually have something installed on his computer that checks to see what like where he's been and it

must be because like i don't understand otherwise it's like oh your screen time was two hours it's like that could have been two hours of porn bud yeah so it must be more detailed it's gotta be oh man this sucks do we need to free this man i think all of us just right now we hop in that fucking bus it's like when activists would free all the animals from like the the labs being i think this dude i can only free you know that scene or that season in breaking bad where they hooked walter up to like the the chain on the ceiling and he can only go so far i imagine it's like that. This is what this man is living with.

Except it's his hands, so he can't reach his own dick. So his hands are up there and he's gotta slide them along. This sounds like hell. This is bad. There are better ways to navigate your insecurities and your relationship

than this. Masturbation is fine. There's nothing wrong with masturbation. Masturbation is fine. There's nothing wrong with masturbation. Masturbation also doesn't always have to be sexual in the way that sometimes it's just a nice way to relieve some stress. Sure. Sometimes you're bored. It's a sex act that, yeah,

and it's like sometimes you just, yeah. You're just fucking bored. Sometimes there's a power outage and you don't have a good buck. And, you know, it's... And, like, the fact that you're... Like, obviously, this is like life finds a way, right? This man is jerking off to PG fucking Instagram reels.

I would love to know what it was. I would also love to know. Was it one of those, like those very weirdly good Rona ads? Rona? Do you guys get those? Rona, like the houseware thing? No. Where it's the guy

and he's rapping about fucking lawn furniture, but it's great. I don't know why you jerk off to it, but hey. It's a great ad. If that's as close as you can get. If that's all I had,

the guy, he's hot. Yeah. Great. Is the lawn furniture curvy? I he's hot. Yeah. Great. Is the lawn furniture curvy at all? Yeah. Right? There are,

maybe the gaps are a little small. That picnic table's tight as fuck. Look, if I couldn't watch porn, I would, I guess,

eventually find anything porn. Maybe he was just like zoning out and was like, oh yeah, my mind palace. And that's full of fuckable things. Also, it says he did it for like a minute and then stop i would love like did he finish did he finish or was he just like she's probably watching yeah he looked up at the camera

i was just like yeah he looks over the room he's like it's just the sound of you zooming in yeah enhance enhance his shock collar went off hell this is grim so bad just maybe stop that's my advice i've never wanted to advocate for the like heist movie trope of finding a way to loop a camera and just like you know what i mean that's why she's like he's always just swiping on on instagram because he keeps it. He's like, he spends 10 to 15 minutes every day at 2 p.m. on Instagram Reels. In the same spot. It's weird. Yeah, this is just, hey, dude, if you're listening, just let us know. We can get you on.

We're doing it twice, which won't work because this is a podcast. Yeah. That's going to do it for the show. However, before we leave, we like to hop onto online dating apps. Yes. And peruse them for profiles that either work or don't work. And we rate them in order to make your online dating experience a little more enjoyable. But also for our entertainment and for your entertainment.

We do have an audience submitted one. A brave. I love it. Brave soul. Brave soul. For the interest of anonymity, they're going to be, Dave, amazing. Oh, so sorry. We also do a thing.

When we read this out, you guys either woo or you boo. Well, hold on. Maybe let's not boo on this one. Let's not boo on this one because they are in the room. I haven't read it. It might be boo-worthy. And that sucks. So after this one, we're going to woo or boo.

Yes, we'll woo or boo. Amazing investment opportunity. For all you relationship-savvy girls, if you swipe right right now, Dave can be yours for only an initial investment of a few hours a week. We promise returns as early as a month in. Think amazing dates. And six months in, you'll have your own heater. Disclaimer, might sweat if too hot.

Also comes with built-in karaoke and as a special promotion, comes with a first round of free drinks at your favorite bar. Okay. You know what? I have looked at so many fucking dating profiles. We do this every fucking week. I've seen so much. And I don't know if I've seen one quite like this.

I've seen similar sort of like, same direction, but not. You know what this gives me? This gives me that really shitty, like, this is going to be positive. I promise. I promise. We're going to bring it around. But you know when women were comparing themselves to cars? Weirdly, yeah. And they were like, low mileage. We're gonna bring it around. But you know the like, when women were comparing themselves to cars, and they were like, low mileage.

Yeah, right? But this seems like a fun way to do that. This seems like not a shitty way to do this. I think this is very funny. I think this is very endearing. Sorry, there's one extra part. Prompts. My weird but true story is,

got bit by a horse, beige flag. No, it's actually a green flag Prompts. My weird but true story is, got bit by a horse. Beige flag. No, it's actually a green flag because if horses don't like you, I do. Okay. And also, hey, really puts horses in the bad light. They're out here biting people. And we know you're strong because you survived. Yeah. They got flat teeth.

Exactly. They got big teeth. Yeah. Yeah. God bless you for surviving that. You're powerful. You can fucking survive a horse attack. Love it.

I'm going to give this a nine. And I might even go 10. I just, I can't do 10s. Here's where I'm going to throw in some stuff. I don't know enough about you. That's it. Yeah. I think if you're gonna do this fun bit,

which is great, which is fun and creative, we get a little bit, we see some things. The good thing is, I know enough about you based on the fact that this is smart and funny and well done. That's great. And those are things that, there's karaoke, there's, you know what I mean?

Which I love also. You leave an opening for a date opportunity, being like free round of drinks at your favorite bar. That's great, That's cool. I would like just a little thing at the bottom where you break the bit

and kind of like talk a little bit. Or do it somehow in the bit still. Yeah, maybe it's like the fine print of the deal of being like,

you know, likes this, this, this, this, this. Just a little bit more about you. The only other thing, and this is something I'm really really working on this is one of my goals for this year is change girls to women because i think i think the the use of girls implies youth to me now i've become very aware of it that and and i've had i've had a lot of twin was like let's go women it wouldn't have the same kick but maybe we're just socialized that way damn uh it's a nine out of ten

i fucking love it yeah great job it's a great job great job i say it like that great great job i don't know i'm so sorry uh all. Let's hit you with this one. Okay. It's a two-parter. Again, now woos and boos are acceptable. They're going. Yeah. This is a two-parter. First prompt. First round is on me if you're six foot and the clink emoji.

And then second prompt, you should not go out with me if you're under six foot. Cool. Yeah. Yeah, this fucking sucks. Great job you suck this one 50 euro talking stage deposit if we speak for a week and it clicks you get it back if you waste my time you lose it I like how there is a clarification of like, I don't know. It's, I don't know the gender of this person. I do know they're German.

I don't know if that helps. Yeah. This is one of those things where I think we've gone wrong. No, they're scamming. They're just full on scamming people. I mean, yeah. They, they're scamming. They're just full-on scamming people. I mean, yeah. They don't give a shit. They're going to be like, yeah, 50 euro.

Thank fuck. I'm off. I'm going to buy myself some beers. I think it's more the idea. I assume this isn't a real. I don't think they really want to get $50. But I think it's one of those things where it's like we've like we've we've fucked up so bad human connection with one another that we now think that like if we don't get exactly what we want

immediately that we've had our time wasted and that's such a weird way to view human interaction especially dating like dating should be fun like you should want to go out and meet a person and if it doesn't work out it doesn't work out that's fine but like to to go on a date with someone and be like you weren't everything i wanted immediately you wasted my time it's such a shitty way to view human connection yeah also i think this is why we're all so fucking miserable when it comes to dating and by all i mean like the the sort of dating landscape is very grim now because we all think that we're owed exactly what we want without any work and

that other people don't have their own lives and their own baggage that also need to be met in the middle it just I don't like it this sucks shit it's a one for me make it go away it's angrier because it's in German too yeah the best is and again I It's angrier because it's in German, too. Yeah.

The best is, and again, I don't actually know if it's German. Chatten. Yeah, chatten is chat, apparently. But I think start a conversation is, Stur in Bericht. Yeah. And I just love that. Please don't.

One? What are you giving it? Yeah, I'm going to get a zero. This is Haley. I am not a third. Hi, I'm a pretty chill girl looking for a partner or possibly more. Eyes emoji. I want someone who will forgive my awkwardness and is a fast responder.

Kind of shy and reserved, but I can yap. I want someone who likes to yap and is kind of nerdy. Bonus points if you love cats and video essays. I'm a lover of art and creativity and all things music. I also love to read and I just might marry you if you play the bass. Heart emoji. I want someone to go to antique stores with. I think this is the only person in the world who thinks bass players are attractive.

Like, out of context, yes. Yeah. Boozer woos? Okay. I don't love the use of yap Yeah Am I wrong? It's a beige flag

It's a Yeah Yap is a It is a beige flag Because when I hear the word yap I think of a very small dog I do also think of a small dog I don't want around me

No one uses yap positively Yeah It's a negative term It's like saying Oh I love to nag people. Do I agree with people who use the word nag? No, but it's also loaded. Yeah. Like yapping is also the same that you would describe someone negatively like that.

So it's weird to me. Yes. Have you been described as yapping so much that you use it? Or do you not understand words? Or are you warning me? Yeah. I don't know. It's weird to me.

Yeah. I don't know if someone was like, I'm real yappy. No, thank you. Also, you're pretty chill, but you want a fast responder in all caps? That's not very chill. I guess, yeah. Because if you don't respond quickly, are you going to be not chill? Yeah. Right?

The thing that confuses me the most is you're looking for a partner or possibly more. Oh yeah, what's more? What does that mean? What's more? Do you want more than one partner? Like a partner and an investor?

Yeah. A partner and a life coach? I don't fucking know. I don't know. What's more? What's past partner? Yeah. is it like like husband husband because I would still I would still hope that you would consider your your your

spouse your partner I don't know that that seems strange to me I can give it a seven because I or maybe no because I like they they do what we say is which is like give a lot of like points about themselves right you know we know they like video essays i've never seen that in a dating app fucking thing before and i appreciate it love cats of course art creativity music blah blah blah blah love it you get the personality they are specific that's what we ask for all the time and okay it's just the other things take it down a little bit yeah i'm giving it a Also, I am not a third all caps opener. Do you need that? I would argue that if it's there, yes.

Yeah. They're giving real big third energy. Yeah, maybe you've got just strong unicorn energy. Are Zerbager of you as a unicorn? That's not a chill opening, though. And then you immediately say you're chill. Yeah. That might be part of the bit, though.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Either way, I'm giving it a six. It's good. There's enough there that makes me confused and scared. Oh, there's more and I forgot. Okay. The key to my heart is hate that.

I haven't finished the prompt, but repeating the prompt in the answer, that's a fucking beige flag for sure. Maybe a red flag. That's someone who went to school recently where you have to always say the essay title. Key to my heart is someone intelligent with an open mind. I want someone who can educate me. My parents will like you if you went to church with me. You don't even have to believe.

Just show up. They'll love that. My favorite playlist is called Take It Easy, like the Eagles song. I'm hoping our relationship will be us taking it easy. So I'm going to downgrade it to a six. Yeah. This one is good, and it's

a great thing for me to have brought because it relies heavily on the photo that none of you can see. My greatest strength, cooking and housekeeping. And then they have... Oh, wow. What I could only describe as the blandest picture of a plain slice of white bread, no butter, not toasted, not cut. A weird lump of eggs and just a thin strip of ketchup on top. If a joke, very funny.

Very good. If serious, horrible. A crime. A crime, maybe. Yes. I'm going to call the police on this profile the plate is chipped oh shit yeah it's it has to be a joke but i don't think it is yeah it's tough i don't know man there are times where like i see people that i love dearly share pictures of their

food on the internet and i'm'm like, this looks bad. Hey, my plating is all right. It's not you. But there are, there are times where I'm like, it does kind of look like you just, you got scraps out of the garbage and then just filled a shallow pan with

water and it doesn't look good. So what would you give it? I'm confused as to what you're searching right now. What are you looking? Okay. I'm giving that a, again, if it's a joke, very good. If it's real, one. If it's real, one.

If it's a joke, eight. Because I'm still scared. Yeah. Because I'm worried that you're're gonna think that this will be funny to do to me one day uh this is my last one ukrainian flag embracing my inner dork and cracking jokes new to dating after a longer time chasing my dreams and still defending my country not sure what to expect but i'm a comfy person sleeping volunteering, exploring old city architecture, and enjoying good music, true crime fan, ESFJ, 183 centimeters, and a consultant, tennis player, helping Ukraine on

the front, evening city walker, and friend devotee, prompts, if I'm not home, you can find me at places where it's dangerous. I mean, I'm all for fighting Russia, but this is weird energy to bring to a dating profile. How are you doing all that other stuff if you're also on the front? Like, I don't get it. It does kind of... Do I not understand armies?

It kind of does sound like he just kind of pops in every now and then. It feels like he can't go four sentences without being like, by the way. But it sounds like it is sort of like not a priority. Right?

Like it kind of sounds like he's just kind of like chilling. He's like, I guess I'll go fight on the front today. You can't be a comfy person in a trench.

Yeah. I don't think. I can't speak on this, but. Maybe this, his whole thing is like, you know, that comfy life.

Exploring old city architecture after it's been bombed? What's going on? If this person's actually on the front, I feel bad, but it feels like they're not. Yeah, it feels very casual to be on the forefront of a pretty serious horrible war. If he's on the front, how are you going to date? Hey, girl, here's the directions to my trench. Don't show Russia, lol. Yeah.

That's not safe. That's the thing. If this is true, this man is in intelligence league. This is bad. If it's not true, that's stolen valor. Those Russian bots are going to have a field day with this dude. You know the way all the fucking FBI bots picked up all the

people who were at the January 6th insurrection? The fucking Russian version of that is going to bomb the shit out of this guy's fucking trench. I mean, they already know where to find him. Where it's dangerous. Thank you very much for coming out and hanging out with us tonight

friends um we have a couple thank yous to to say um maria at the bar fucking soloing legend um everyone uh who helps us here at black sheep um our pod friends opinionated luscious for coming out hell yeah give them a listen and you guys for all coming out we have a lot of new faces so thank you very much for hanging out with us on a Tuesday night especially a power outage Tuesday night

where it was not easy or fun to get here so we really appreciate that we really fucking appreciate it we do this generally every month and if you're worried about

when the next one is just go on to our Instagram we will show you yep also we have fucking over 300 episodes you can listen to yes swing on to any podcasting app and we are gonna be there and we answer everyone's questions so send them in yeah if you if you do want us to talk about it in front of you

because that sounds like a horrible anxious nightmare for you I will do it on the the podcast and we do it anonymously so no one will ever know it's you not even us yeah and we got some badously. So no one will ever know it's you. Not even us. And we got some bad sex writing to send us sailing into the night. Okay, do you want to thank our theme song guy? Thank you Josh Eagle Narvaez for the song Paper Stars. This is by Frederick Nietzsche.

Everyone get comfortable. It's real bad. The happiness of a man is I will. The happiness of a man is, I will. The happiness of a woman is, he wills. Behold, just now the world became perfect. Thus thinks any woman who obeys out of love. And a woman must obey and find the depth for her surface. Surface is a woman's disposition, a stormily moving skin over shallow waters. a man's disposition is deep as torrents rushes through subterranean caves a woman senses its strength but does not comprehend it

jesus fucking christ cool cool cool cool cool someone wrote that and was like yeah yeah this is good and then other people were like yeah dude And yeah. So fun fact, before this was Black Sheep, it was another pub. And there was a stained glass window right over that window, which read, I don't remember who said it, but it was men are governed by the lines of intellect, women by the curves of emotion.

And it was like, someone chose to spend money and put that into a bar where multiple people on a daily basis would see that and think, cool. Let me tell you, as the person who would sometimes bartend behind that bar, it was not cool. It was a nightmare to explain why that was up there. And I didn't have an explanation. The explanation was idiocy? I was just like, sorry.

Shit taste? Yeah. Do you want a line with your vodka soda? And then if they got upset, I would just be like, awfully curve of emotion. Okay. All right.

My name is Dane Miller. And I'm Niles Bain. And we've been your fuck buddies