F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 306 - How Low Can Men Go?

Episode Date: August 26, 2024

Get out the shovels, boys!  Let's bring this bar straight to hell!  Topics include how low can the bar go, pulling a meatloaf, getting sweaty at the gym for all the wrong reasons, is your labia and innie or an outie? Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. Hello friends, my name is Dane Miller. And I'm Niall Spang. And we are your fuck buddies. We are a sex and dating advice podcast

Where we take your sticky sexy situations And turn them into sexy sticky situations Simply put, we find questions either roaming The barren wastelands of the internet Or we get them sent in by wonderful listeners Such as yourself And we answer them right here, right now Every Monday, in your ears

And we love you You nailed the head, hammer, hammer nail nail head on the hammer. Great start. Hammerhead of, I deep dive the other day into the empty internet theory. That's all just bots. I mean, there's that. I mean, I would hope I want to believe that there aren't other people, but no, I was looking into like AI and AI is like influence on like internet creation and stuff.

And have you seen the thing about asking AIs how many R's are in strawberry? Was that, did someone share that to us today? I don't think, I don't know. But it's just like how they just like, it just breaks AI's brain. It's awful. It's just so bad. And it's just like, and then I went down a rabbit hole of like all these things that like AI just can't figure out. Most things.

Yeah. And it's just like, well, like the best is Google using it as their like first like response. And it's just like eat stones. Yeah. Glue. This onion article says to eat stones, put glue with this, thicken up your shit. And it's like, dumb people are going to die. Well, like, especially with Google where they like, originally there was like, you, how when you type something in, it's like, did you mean whatever?

If you hotlink things enough, you could force Google to think that, like, when people want X, they actually mean Y. So, like, way back in the day with George Bush, anytime anyone searched, like, linked George Bush. They would hot link to the Wikipedia page for idiot. So when you would type in George W. Bush, it would be like, did you mean idiot? Yeah. Or if you searched idiot,

it was like, do you mean George W. Bush? That's pretty fun. Um, and it was just like, surely, you know,

that like if, when we had rudimentary troll technology, yeah, we fucked with it. You really don't think that people are going to fuck with AI, which is so easy to fuck with. Yeah. Um,

so anyway, I'm just, my rant about how bad everything is. Yeah, everything is bad, but you know what's not bad? This show. Yeah. This week in our not bad show, we're going to talk about why do women say the bar is so low for men? I would do anything, but not that. Should I have told the man at the gym he makes me feel sweaty so I can't work out in the room? Having an innie or outie labia.

Oh, yeah. But first, we're going to do some sex news. Ooh. Yeah. And this is just like a state of... Not the state of the nation. Fuck it. It's the state of the nation.

State of the nation. Which nation? We don't have to tell you. There's something really funny going on with a... I believe it's like a gotcha game. Okay. So you like collect gotcha game. Okay. So you like collect things. Yeah.

You roll and you get the- Like a Genshin Impact or- Yes, but this is a hentai one. Okay. Yeah. It is a male player oriented multiplayer hentai gotcha game where you pull characters, train them, assemble an army and battle other players. You raise character affections by sending them gifts and then fucking them and the winner of the battle captures the losers characters and

fucks them okay so sex play is integral and you get in-game resources and you know it is meant it is very straight oriented right it is all or not all women mostly women um The character pool is mixed gender, but it's like one to 10 male to female. Okay. But there are obviously like lower polls and stuff. So like more common things and rarer ones, like the very hot women are really rare and you don't usually get them. So you just start to get a lot of men because they're unwanted. Right.

Which means people have more male characters than female they also don't like to send out their female characters in case they get captured and fucked by the other players yeah so people are basically sending out all male squads versus all male squads so everyone's prison is filled with male squads that they then have to fuck to get in-game resources because you can't also release them from your prison otherwise so everyone's really really upset because the whole game that's meant to be this person's like sexy sexy straight fantasy they just have to fuck seas of men and i just find that really funny and what what just what game is this or oris freeze okay danes danes typing it in oh danes downloading it right now somehow i was already

downloading it yeah um i just find that really funny it's you know that's our sex news uh but i will start with this gem from seduction by i've caught a wild gigolo why do women say the bar is so low for men you have to get any results from cold approach as an average guy the interaction has to be exceptional, basically. And even then, nothing is guaranteed. I say this after gaming a group I met at a restaurant, getting a number at the end of it, just to get no response later on, despite making decent conversation with other friend and coming off as decently socially calibrated. Conversation did lack teasing and emotional spikes.

I just started off with a direct opener right off the bat, and the girl responded well, but seems like because I wasn't exceptionally funny or entertaining, I just ended up getting thrown in the trash. Doesn't make any fucking sense. Women will date a boring average below average looking dork from their social circle but if a funnier more handsome guy approaches them IRL they have to be exceptional to get on a date

with her. Oh man, at first I thought the question was about capturing a wild gigolo and i was very excited about that i had i had jigglypuff fucking jokes just locked and loaded but you can have one nope not until it happens uh this is like i love where we always fall back to the but a boring ugly normal below average guy can get her why can't i how does it's like you my guess is your judgments of whether a man is like interesting or whatever like you are so bad at social situations that because you assume every man is like competition like i highly doubt that there are dudes that you don't know that you are you think highly of because you assume every man is like competition, like I highly doubt that there are dudes that you don't know that you are,

you think highly of because you either think they're like subpar and shouldn't be dated or that they're like some mega Chad that you want to be. And therefore is competition and you must crush or like send you in a spiral of insecurity or whatever. Like, I don't think there's many dudes like who think like this who then also look at dudes and like think you're on my playing level and therefore i respect you right like i think i think there's it's two categories of you're a trash garbage man that shouldn't ever

feel the emotional connection of another person because of your looks or whatever and then like this guy's a fucking legend and therefore he's gonna come in and swoop my woman and put them in his prison dungeon to fuck her for resources. But even then it's like, it's just another great example of seduction, like almost getting it right. Kind of, but just completely missing the mark where it's like,

Oh, they're saying the bar is so low for men. Right. Are they talking about cold approach? I just love the fact that he's like, you know, women are so low, the bar is so low for men. And he's like, they must be talking about cold approach. Yeah. And, and no, no part of them thinks like, Oh, I wonder what they're talking about. Or, Oh, maybe I should read further than that sentiment or ask anybody or think maybe

this thing, if they're saying the bar is low, but this thing I'm doing isn't working. Hmm. Yeah. It's your, you're the, you're setting the bar, dude. Like you, like when we talk about the bar as being low, it's like you walking up to a group of women at a bar, probably because you don't know them and getting a number or whatever.

I think that's what he said, right? He gets her number. And it's like, she probably gave you that number. So you would leave her alone. And she didn't ghost you because that number probably wasn't hers you probably sent a text to a random person that she gave you a random number to just so you would leave her alone and that's the 16th

number this random person has gotten and they're like why yeah but it's just because it's one two three four five six seven eight nine and it's easy for women to give that one out. This poor guy was like, hell yeah, this is the best phone number. I'll never forget it. Yeah. God damn it. So you need to like the bar is low in that you don't need to do this. And this is bad. The bar is low in that all you really need to do is be chill and normal.

Yeah. Like we're talking about like the bar being low because very rarely do men approach women with a level of respect and courtesy that you aren't showing so if you're thinking hey if the bar is so low why is it not working for me it's because you're under the bar dude and if the bar is low you're you're bad yeah like you're in a bad territory if the bar is too many like two centimeters off the ground you're under that because it's not working for you so that should tell you a lot about the way you're approaching women the way women feel around you the way that you make women like the the way women perceive you as a romantic and sexual partner and as a

person like all those things are really really bad for you specifically so if you know if someone was like i'd eat anything and you've watched them eat glass and then you serve up some food that's garbage and they're like no i'm not hungry actually you can't sit there and be like well i've seen them eat mcdonald's and i've seen them eat fucking garbage food but they won't eat my food. They must be a liar. Say, oh, my food was trash. Yeah.

My food was so trash. And maybe I look at how I cook instead of being like, nope, they're lying. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, you suck is the thing. And also, again, women don't want cold approach and they definitely don't want cold approach by way of seduction. And I'm talking about while they're out with their friends you know what i mean like so the bar is low because people like

this as dane said make the bar low this is this is what's making things so bad that a semi-normal interaction is like a godsend compared to this so you've you've set up a situation where the you should just be kind of like lightly stepping over. And yet somehow you're like, oh, is this a limbo game? Yeah. Cool. Let me scoot on under this bar. Should I wriggle into the dirt like a worm to go under this? Yeah.

Yeah. You're a little worm guy. You're just a little worm guy. So don't be shit. And I want to also like, I don't want to throw people who might not be having much luck in the like, you know, real world sphere of like talking to women and whatever because like you might be a completely normal respectful person who isn't pulling numbers and like getting dates in reality and that doesn't have to say that you specifically

are under that bar but you need to understand that like the the the bar that we talk about is a broad social construct of sort of like men have been really shit to women for a very long time and so the expectation is so low for men and while you might live up to the expectation or surpass in terms of like they might say oh hey that guy was really nice oh hey he was super respectful oh hey that didn't bother me at all. I didn't feel threatened. I felt safe, whatever. But they still don't owe you a date or a conversation or to have a drink with you or whatever.

They don't owe you any of that. There's a distinction between being under this bar that's being set because you're actively being the problem. And then there's also the people who are above that bar but aren't finding any luck just because of any number of things and we've talked about all the reasons why someone might not be attracted to you also going forever if we're

gonna start talking about bars being low or high i would say that like in general the bar is low but when you're talking to someone the bar is probably quite high because they're on guard from all the low bar boys wiggling through the dirt towards them yeah so it's this weird like dichotomy where it's both at the same time we're like arguably all you have to do is be chill but they're gonna have their guard up because they're assaulted 24 7 by weirdos yeah so you know it's a weird thing but again just when this happens maybe examine your choices and the way you do things. Yes. And I think that's like true in any scenario where if you are getting stressed because all these guys in my friend group who aren't, you know, jacked or who aren't tall or who aren't, you know, the coolest dude who don't like skateboard everywhere and do fucking backflips and shit.

It's like they're boring guys who are getting all these girls it's like well maybe take a second to like internally reflect and be like why what's what's what's missing what's and not to to compare yourself to everyone but like if your whole you know steez is going up and being like hey i'm a charismatic high value man i'm decently socially calibrated right wow how exciting phrases like that should be an indication that like people i have anyone ever told me they were socially calibrated to any degree you know like if anyone was like i'm highly calibrated for social interactions i would immediately not want to talk to you yeah because that admission by itself means you're not yeah you are not you sound like a robot.

Yeah. Speaking of robots, going back to AI really quick. Have you seen that there's a group in MIT that is turning AI by feeding them sociopath and psychopathic? I was like, why are you doing this? Well, I feel like they don't even need to because they just become Nazis almost immediately if you put them on the internet. It's like two fucking days and they're like well i'm transphobic nazi now it's like god damn i'm a transphobic nazi pedophile that's like every twitter chat bot has ever become yeah so it's not good um but yeah it's just like

i'm like can we stop can we stop doing the things that we have years decades centuries of being like hey don't do this yeah like books movies we have so much about it and like the it's like if we spent decades being like hey if you like fucking jack up a bear on like super heroin and like give it adrenal shots and then put weapons on all of its limbs and then let it loose in a school packed with injured children they're fucked they get fucked up they get wrecked and then they're like. They get fucked up. They get wrecked. And then they're like, try it though. Yeah. Let's see what happens.

Let's see. I don't know. Maybe. Maybe it will tiptoe around them. Have you seen that with the bull in the china shop? No. You ever watch Mythbusters?

Of course you have. I should never watch the full episode of Mythbusters. Get the fuck out. I've seen like YouTube clips of like the cool shit that they've done, but I've never watched

the full episode. I don't know if we can even hang out right now. Yeah, I'm sorry. Mythbusters is great, but they did it where they made it a china shop and they let loose bulls and the bulls are like really dainty and they're like oh god and they like are really careful not to knock anything over and it's just it's actually really cute to watch because

the bulls are like oh and they like just sneak around the corners and they don't knock over a single goddamn thing well yeah like the idea that like bulls are these like wild creatures it's like the only hate china but it's a different it's a different guy they're super not cool with china it was a more political than like pottery based yeah which is also a thing they found out they're like that isn't them yeah um that's why they hate the color red it's like it's like it's such a weird like thing of being like like bulls are pissed off because like they have a dude on them and they're aggravated to the point you pissed off with it right look at the guys playing the hentai game they're pissed off because there are dudes on them it's all the same it's all the same and the same thing with like the running of the bulls it's like yeah man like you scared a

bunch of bulls and let them loose in the city yeah like and then you get in their way this isn't this isn't their fucking fault you're like hey now run to the end of this thing uh also i'm gonna scare you and chase you i'm like jesus and then if you jumped in front of me and then we're like ow you're an asshole i'm like i'm not okay i'm fleeing i'm trying to get away from the guy with the chainsaw yeah like i'm quite scared and you're bad at getting out of my way yeah it's the whole bull thing it's like sharks we're only a bull week well i don't like sharks. Why don't we have bull week? Well, I don't know if the phrasing on that is great. Pornhub definitely has a bull week. I just feel like bulls get a bad rap.

They do. Bullshit? What's wrong with their shit? They're just so abused. What's wrong with their shit? In every category. Yeah. And it's like every time there's a tragedy at a rodeo, I'm like, it's not a tragedy.

Like you deserve this. And I'm sorry if there's anyone out there who's lost someone in a rodeo accident. I would love to know how many of our listeners are even peripherally involved with rodeos. I'm going to guess very few. Very few. But there might be someone who's got like a real tragic. But like if I like being a firefighter, might be like oh well they chose to get but it's like they're doing a community service right like what they're doing is a necessary

if the fire fights back it is tragic because they're trying to help people yes whereas like if you're just torturing an animal and then the animal and then bites you yeah if like i'm gonna get on this bull to see how long i last and then when it throws me off it gores me because it's so pissed off because of what i've done to it like that's not a tragedy dude like yeah right like it's you it's also like if you break into someone's house and they fucking like hit you with a frying pan it's like you need to when you're breaking into a house no okay yeah i feel like there's a high possibility someone bonks me with a frying pan and then you if you want to break into the house, that's fine. Yeah.

It's not. But you've at least gone over that. And then when they bonk you, you go, hey, dude, that's fine. I feel very strongly about the treatment of bulls. That's fair. At rodeos specifically. Are we ready for question number two? Yeah.

Maybe. I don't know. 20 minutes in. This is from Remarkable Media. She told me to do anything I want to her. So I went. This is from Remarkable Media. She told me to do anything I want to her. So I went to eat her out and she got upset. I love eating pussy because the best part of sex is making the other person feel good.

Oh, yeah, dude. However, when she got upset, I realized that isn't what she meant by anything I want. As she explained it to me, that was code for be super rough and aggressively dominant with her. I don't like being dominant at all. I prefer sweet, sensual sex and pleasuring the other person i don't care about my pleasure have i been misunderstanding this request all along is it not really about what i want but about reading her mind and what she wants and then update she goes to me lol i'm not upset it's definitely for the best it is for the best uh i like do you do whatever you want to me is bad. It's, it's a bad sexual cue. If you don't have a pre history of,

of what that means, which is why we talk about communication, which is why we talk about safe words, which is why in gauging in sex in general, let alone any kind of further kink involves conversation and safety tools. And this goes completely against that because you can't have a blanket statement like that i don't think a single person is ever like yeah i'm cool with everything yeah right uh i do love that you did a pretty pedestrian thing though and

they were like whoa whoa and also like yeah it's very strange to me that that was like their trigger where it's like if you say, do whatever you want with me. And someone's going to like, like if he like starts going down and you're like, not that let's say, well, okay. Then you obviously like,

you can't say something as broad and vague as that. And then get upset with what comes after. I mean, you can, you can, which is why you shouldn't say yes. You know what I mean? Like,

let's get it out of the way. You should never say this because it is too vague. It doesn't count as consent. I don't think at all because again consent is specific yeah you don't just give blanket consent that's fucked especially when you're like oh you can be as rough and as aggressive with me as you can it's like that's the worst thing to say in the city like i'm presuming that this is probably like a one night stand or like a a first time scenario right or fairly early in the the sexual relationship so like one she has no idea what this dude is yeah like for all you know he's gonna fucking choke you yeah incorrectly and kill you or really hurt

you by like bond incorrect bondage or like whatever give you a sensual lick out which also apparently could be terror like you don't want yes it's it's very strange to to use that phrase when you have things that you feel so adversely yes against yes right and as now said i don't think there's a person alive who's fucking you know dance card is just like every anything yes whatever it's like that scene in brooklyn 99 where he's like you could do this this this this and this and then then Jake's like, what can't I do? Okay, what do you have in mind? So look, person in question, if someone says this to you, it's bad because it's also hard to be like, well, hold on. What do you want?

You know what I mean? It slows things down. It's why you don't have this conversation in the heat of the moment. But person saying it, if you have something in mind, if you want to be thrown around a little bit, try be specific but also you could just say that you're like oh you can be a little bit rough with me if you want or like hey you can spank me or like yes you know like there are ways to do this that aren't that and clearly that is not working for you so change it and it's going to be better for you because one you're going to get what you want and two

it's going to be safer and the person doing it won't be as lost like this this is bad this is bad and anytime we're talking about like a kink as now said it's like something like this requires a lot of conversation and a lot of safety tools and a lot of a lot of like pre out of the bedroom conversation like you can't spring something like be as rough as you want with me on a person in the moment because you have no like you have no idea what their stuff is and importantly they don't they have no idea what your threshold is yes so i it's all great to be in hot and heavy moment and you realize of being like oh i want to i want it a little rougher and like you said it's like spank me blah blah blah yeah or like go harder or like yeah you know you know say things like oh use me like go into like a verbal roughness

a verbal aggression because that's a lot safer than a physical one and on top of that if if you find that you would like a little bit more aggression that's fine but don't expect it to be at the perfect level of what you're looking for right like this if especially if it's like a first time or first couple times be willing to be like okay I'm going to accept what's coming my way. Let's maybe direct it into the realm that I like. We're going to go to the rough hills over here. We're going to

step out of you know sensual caverns and we're going to go to the rough hills and then maybe we'll go over to the bondage castle afterwards right? Or the toss me around forest. Once we hit the embassy where we get our visas and our paperwork and our stamps. We have to level up.

Yes. We're only level one. We're not allowed in there yet. And that's the thing. You are level one in this case. And the thing is, if you're really, really experienced, you'd be able to give direct communication. Yeah. So clearly you are level one.

The amount of women that I've been with who have been like, you can rougher with me and i'm always like great to know but not now like you know i mean it's like that's great it's like you know i will i will do rougher things safer you know i mean like pinned hands like that kind of stuff yeah like maybe maybe but it's like i'm not i'm not gonna slap you no i'm not gonna choke you no maybe i'll be a little bit rougher like maybe i'll fuck you a little harder maybe i'll throw your legs around a little bit more right like all the things that like i know i have full control over i will increase a little bit yeah because that's what you like and that's fine but i'm not just gonna be like cool let's go to 100 right like no yeah and it's like if you get annoyed at me then you've done me like like

this guy says where it's like oh like i like, oh, it's not a big deal. I'm not upset. I know for a fact that if someone's upset with me, I was once with someone who I was slowly turning up the heat as they requested it. And I could see them getting annoyed. And I was like, look. It was like, look, the thermostat only goes. But I was like, the next steps thermostat only goes like, but I was like, I was like the, the next steps are things that like require safe words. The next step.

And I was like, we haven't had that. And I don't really want to stop where we are right now to have that. This is if not being perfectly there is annoying you. Yeah. How annoying is stopping at all and having a conversation? And I remember like, I was trying to find a way to like phrase it in a way that was like hot and sexy of being like, I don't know. I don't know if you deserve it yet.

Yeah. Right. This is kind of a turn off and I'm definitely not going to do it for safety reasons, bitch. Yeah. So I was just like, I just, I just kept, I was like, you know, I like, we'll see how well you do now and see if you deserve it later. Hoping that it'll be like, I will, I will play this game with you. But like you, this is also you but like you this is also me

being like this is as far as i'm going right now and like i'll tell you in the in the space in the game that we're playing here but like but i i could tell like they were they were annoyed and upset and frustrated so i was just like this is like but that just tells me all i need to know about i'm now getting turned off because i know you're not like uh you're not working with me and i i'm concerned for your future safety um yeah it was it was one of those things where i was just like oh man we if we're gonna do this again we need a long fucking conversation about what you're comfortable with yeah so be safe be chill and don't fucking take it out on your partner when they're either doing what you have said or like are being a good lover or chill yeah you know especially don't say this yeah don't open the anything you want door and then

cross like have the line that you don't want crossed to be the most normal one of the one of the most common like foreplay this is probably a thing he was doing while thinking home what do i want to do with her because he probably didn't even cross his mind that you'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. And like, yeah, sometimes it's like, what I do want to do is go down on you, right? Yeah, I want to level up here before we head over to the hills. You ready?

This is by a deleted user. Should I have told the man at the gym that he makes me feel sweaty so I can't work out near him? He has been kind of flirty um but someone i know saw him at a place with a female and dogs god damn those female dogs ruin everything female and dogs oh yeah yeah no yeah i know i mean there could be female dogs as well it could be we don't know why we couldn't even assume look if someone came up to me and said you make me so

fucking sweaty i think i would be concerned i don't know if i would yeah no for real like anyone like even if someone was like i'm like hey girl like yeah you know we're chatting there's like you make me sweaty i'd be like oh oh okay like all right cool like that's weird yeah i've never had someone say that i'm also not even sure a lot of people i know do get like that when they're like oh they're hot you know what i mean yeah i don't like hot and sweaty is like uh i don't think people are being really specific like they're not being literal well you can get hot and sweaty with someone but it's usually there's a physical interaction involved there right like they make me they make me hot and sweaty yeah like i don't look at someone and like start feeling but i mean like i guess as a teenager i would like if i was

nervous i guess right like but like i also would never mention no that is something that i think we all actively try to uh yeah if i go up to him like you make my dick swell like that's not great either yeah like there are things that might happen that you don't want to talk about so and if you're looking to like flirt with this guy you're like if this is your move if this is kind of what you want to do to break the ice it shouldn't be no like one like let people work out like are you following him around and working out are you working on he shows up like what's the scenario here because like if if this guy's just fucking like doing you know do some fucking curls in the mirror to make sure his form is good and you

just like sleep slink on over to his ear and just like hey I'd love to work out right here but you make me so sweaty like I feel like what the fuck is happening I also like I can't work out near you kind of seems like go away from me like don't like

it's the opposite of like hey come here it's no i'm gonna be over here and again person i only see in this environment depending who's approaching who like is he coming into your space and you're like no you can't be her you make me too sweaty that's it's like how is saying me by just saying that out loud do you think that that works do you do you think that's like checking some boxes here for you? And that's the thing. That's why he's elsewhere with a female and some dogs. Yeah.

She's not getting all sweaty with him. Exactly. Yeah. So have you heard of antiperspirant? No. This is, you could have gone, you could be like, oh my God, I'm trying to work out, but you're distracting me. You're distracting.

I get nervous. You know what I mean? It's like, I like, I like. Even like distracting, I think is fun, cute, playful, good. Nerv what I mean it's like even like distracting I think is fun cute playful good nervous is it's still fine you can find a playful way of doing it

you know if it being like oh I you know I was gonna do some squats as well but like I'm nervous around like how much

you're putting up you know what I mean like things like you could that big old booty is making me feel real putting up

is it like the weight how much weight you're putting up no putting up some booties putting up some ass

those booty numbers your PR that booty pr um like again it's the gym is such a weird place because i feel like so many people are just kind of like you get the like the white person like smile like the the the flat like pleasant yeah the like yeah you know the sort of what you do when you're hiking and you walk by so yes like just the the sort of like acknowledgement smile uh just to be polite and like everyone is like people are get there to get jacked right like people there to look good and i'm not saying that they're they're there to come they're there to get sweaty they're the sweat and like the thing

is it's also not weird to be sweaty at a gym yeah right like it'd be different if you were at like a pottery class she's not there to work out and she's like oh whoa sweaty no yeah i'm here to just take pictures for instagram i'm not just creeping but you yeah like if you were at like a fucking yeah pottery class or like a fucking you know paint paint night or something and you're just fucking drenched then i would please my my pot my clay it was fine and consistency was good but now it's so wet yeah like i i would understand i would understand your plates are just a puddle your your you know nervousness or sort of like your embarrassment in that scenario but like you're at a gym presumably doing physical activity

everyone in the gym should be sweaty to some degree or they're not working hard enough so let's be fair here telling someone to not come near you is not a good way to hit on someone no uh telling someone about a thing again sweat isn't that gross but it's definitely not the hottest you know what i mean like it's one of those things we don't love like if someone's walks in the office and they're drenched in sweat you don't go nice you go yeah like it's embarrassing pit stains and sweat and like you know sweat isn't hot even though it can be and is in other ways it's not in this way right we can agree on that it's any i don't think there's anything you can say like oh you can't work out here like you said it's like yes telling someone to leave you make me hard oh you can't

work out you're making me too wet like any of these things is gross right like any sort of like physical you around here has a physical like visual reaction to be stranger i've never talked to right like i don't want to like if if my partner did did this it would be fucking weird like you're lucky that you have the power and like socially where a woman eating on a man is like fine like no one's gonna get upset really i would be at this i know but like you're not gonna go and tell the staff and the staff aren't gonna kick i might you should but you're not going to because society's gonna be like no man if not today if my partner or someone i was hooking up with you know leaned over at the bar and being like you know for whatever reasons like you're making me wet

you're making me hot like that's fine that like, you know, for whatever reasons, like you're making me wet or make me hard. Like that's fine. You have, you have that connection, but like, if you've never talked to this dude before and immediately go like, Hey, you're having this very real reaction to my body. Yeah.

And it doesn't matter what the, like crying, sweating, you know, twitching, shaking, like anything is, is I'd say as close to that as you can get without

being weird that's an emotional state yeah you're right like but i saw it's a thing that your body's doing and even then when you said nervous earlier i was like because you're distracting me i think is much better 100 yes um yeah just chill girl we talked about this when women come in like a sledgehammer yeah they could have a scalpel or maybe a flower like a nice oh hello you're coming in you're like, boom, I'm sweating so much. Cause I want your tech get away from me. And then you're like,

weird. He he's on the other side of the gym now with a female and some dogs. Yeah. Also, he's not allowed to be around a woman. I mean, and you said female, which is weird.

Like, are you an incel posing as a, this is, it's like you've overthink, overthink, overthought, overthought so much of every aspect of this yeah and there's no way of knowing whether this person is in a relationship or has a girlfriend or whatever so shooting your shot is fine you can shoot your shot and they might say oh that's very sweet of you i i have a partner i have a girlfriend i have a whatever also like yelling because i assume it wasn't said on normal volume like get away from me you make me so sweaty

it's actually way weirder if they do have a partner yeah that's so uncomfortable and it's already so uncomfortable it's not great at any point so maybe don't maybe don't. Maybe don't. Yeah. You're time for one more. I think this is from Professor Snape. My fave. Not having or not having small labia makes me never want to have sick. And I can't stop feeling so insecure. My labia isn't super big, but it's not an any. And I feel like every guy prefers an any.

I'm going to get labiaplasty done when i'm older and can afford it but in the meantime i'm scared of someone seeing it irl to be honest it was irl tbh i don't want it to be oh no guys no or oh no guy's gonna complain about looks they're getting pussy regardless i want them to actually find my vulva pretty and not just oh pussy is pussy or they just want to fuck me they're not caring about how it looks because that makes me feel even worse like i know labia size wouldn't put off a dude from sleeping with you but just the fact that i know they'd rather be with an innie makes me upset and feel super insecure do most guys actually prefer innies or is my sex life going to be ruined forever or or and is my sex life going to be ruined forever or do some men actually prefer how

outies look i've never heard the term innies for this nor do i think it's appropriate no i mean like i guess outies kind of kind of something i guess but in it is like it's not that's not it girl no it's i and like it has me questioning everything it's is it i get what she's saying i know what she means but innies is not it no and i don't like the idea of like it like retracting like some kind of like batmobile door yeah or like or like there's there's like a like a sleeve inside yeah like it's like they're still there is that what happens to labiaplasty push them up push them up push them up uh also girl you don't know they would prefer what I refuse to call any. You think. And you're mistaken. And your insecurity is so rampant now that it doesn't matter what anyone will say to you either.

That you will never believe anyone. Yes. So long as you don't. so many art projects that have been like focused on the fact that vaginas and vulvas specifically the labia are so insanely varied yep right i would i would argue that they are far more unique and like what you're gonna get than a penis in terms of not necessarily size or shape or whatever but i feel like for the most part you're either circumcised or uncircumcised and like girth and size and whatever yeah but like blue there isn't like extra vein parts right you hope not i hope not um but like i feel like every vulva i've seen in my life has been a fairly different experience i okay look like i i get what you're saying with the whole like i don't want to hear

that sorry i'm not talking yes yeah yeah like you don't want to hear a the whole, like, I don't want to hear that. Sorry, I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to you. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you don't want to hear a guy just be like, oh, they don't care. Like, they just want to fuck. And I get it because that's dehumanizing and it's like taking you out of the equation and you want to be in the equation.

Yeah. And we've said stuff that might come across like that. Yeah. But I don't think that's true. But at the same time, like, I like, and I want this to be reassuring. So I'm trying to phrase it properly. I don't have a favorite labia that i've slept with i have never once thought of it yes but not in a bad way not in a bad way

i'm not in it it's not there for me not in a i'm like you know i'm not rating and categorizing you i'm not like measuring you up against each other either literally or figuratively or like i'm not on tinder being like oh man i really she's really cute really hope she's got an innie yeah right like i or like when i don't even say it because it's not uh like you know when i'm about to take off a pair of underwears i'm not like please don't be an outie please don't you know what i mean like it's not it's not i've thought that's ever crossed my mind i've also slept with a lot of people and every single one of them has had different labias yeah in every of every regard and i have never been put off or turned off or negatively impacted by a single one and that's again not to say that there aren't some assholes

who want every vagina and every vulva to look what like what they've seen in porn keyword their asshole yeah that's it yeah they're if they care they're an asshole or they're a young fucking idiot which is so close to being an asshole that there's no real or you've you've incepted it into their mind yeah right like the only time i've ever sort of fixated on a flaw quote unquote or like something that someone is insecure about is when they've made such a big fucking deal about it like there was uh someone i slept with once who didn't ever want to take their bra off because they were really ashamed of their nipples they were like i have really big nipples and i was like like it's great i was like that that's fine i was like just so you know i'm very body positive yeah i am i'm attracted to you and your body is you and

it's it's all sort of like part of the package for me so i was like by all means if if you are gonna have better sex and more enjoyable sex by keeping your bra on totally fine but if you want to experiment feeling a little freer or whatever i i will be and they took it off and i was like it was the only time where i i was like i clocked them and if i if they weren't ever mentioned i wouldn't have even thought twice about them and like i feel like that's most things they were they were fine yeah there was literally nothing to be upset about of any for any reason whatsoever but like if she hadn't said anything it wouldn't have even been a thought in my brain at any point in time.

I will say you are fine. You don't need this surgery. You know, you will. You sound quite young, but like you need to work on this insecurity because, as Dane said, Dane said a very true thing, which is nothing's going to change how you're feeling. It doesn't seem like because you're not gonna believe a thing somebody's saying yeah because like the only the only two ways that it's gonna go is you're gonna tell them ahead of time and then you're gonna hyper analyze everything that they do while like if they're going down on you or they're not gonna tell them and you're also gonna hyper or or like after like you you know you you hook up and then you you mention it to them

and they're like oh no it's fine like i didn't up and then you you mention it to them and they're like oh no it's fine like i didn't care at all like it means nothing to me and you're gonna be like no like i don't believe it or oh great he doesn't even like my yeah it's not even there to him it's like it's like not in a bad way but it doesn't matter and i get it you want to be you know you you want a a very sensitive part of you to be enjoyed and and you know uh worshipped and sort of looked at and be like that's it that's the one i want there it is we feel the same way about our dicks right like also like if you look at society and fucking media what are we talking about all the time men's d dicks and oh, small dick energy, big dick energy. Like, oh, Mr. Big, like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Yeah. I'd love to know. Are there any sitcom episodes where it turns out that like the male can't date? Yeah. You know, like the, the, the, the male lead is like, I would say actually probably not, but maybe, no, I don't know. Like, I don't like, maybe like a, Trailer Park Boys or something like that. Like, that's meant to be, like, raunchy and stupid.

Yeah. Where the people are idiots. But, like, I don't think there's a Friends episode where Joey's like, Oh, I went on a date with, you know, Sasha, and I'll never see her again because she had big labia. Like, but there's certainly episodes where it's penis size related. Yeah. Right? So, it's, like, it's... Like, on everywhere.

Yeah. I mean, like we would have to probably deep dive back a couple of decades or into like, as you said, like a particularly like we're raunchy for the sake of raunchy thing to try to find that. And it would be for shock value shock,

meaning it's not common. Whereas like, it's usually you can find any show and they're going to talk about like SpongeBob. They talk about dick size all the time, all the time. Yeah. Like, and it's usually gonna be like the asshole dude that's the one doing it right like it won't be the hero character right whereas it'll be like yeah the hero is like oh no yeah yeah so like not to be like well look at our problems yeah like i i hope we didn't make

too light of this either because i know it's really hard to have an insecurity and to like it they're not meant to make sense yeah you know what i mean they don't you know what i mean but they feel so real and so powerful and it's really hard to get away from them i we're not belittling this it's just we've had this come up and it sucks to hear and we want you to to you know get past it this is this is something that like you're not going to get resolved by someone else this is something that like you're not going to get resolved by someone else this is something where you're gonna have to like do a hard sort of like i love my body i'm confident my body i feel comfortable in my body and there's if i i really really hope that you like i i think getting cosmetic surgery uh for unnecessary reasons on

your genitals is a risk like i i can't imagine this is a super best case. You're still, you're losing a bunch of sensitivity, right? Like I, like I, I don't know enough about it, but I hope,

I think that there's a point in time where that, that I really, really hope that you feel so comfortable in your body that you don't feel like this is necessary. Yes. I also feel like if you don't fix the root cause, which is your insecurity, I don't know the the root cause which is your insecurity i don't know if the plastic surgery is going to get you to a point where that's gone yeah because

you'll fall into the slippery slope of sort of like constantly tweaking constantly being like i need to do this or maybe it's not perfect or maybe someone reacts a certain way or something and then you're like wait did i not do it did i do it too much like the insecurity is the problem far more so than anything else. And again, I'm not going to say plastic surgery is bad or good or whatever. I'm just saying, having insecurities like this, they work like that. They fuck you up. Nothing's

perfect. You don't just do a thing and you're like, oh, it's solved by external means. That's just never worked. Yeah. I highly recommend talking to a sexual therapist. It's not just for couples. It will really help you sort of reconcile your insecurities with your body because like there really isn't anything you can do about it outside of sort of, you know,

medical procedures and stuff like that. But it's like, it's not like I can go to the gym and do fucking dick lifts and make my dick bigger. You could, you just rip it off. You just do real bad damage to it. That's what he's doing. She's like, he's looking at those dick lifts and make my dick bigger you could you just rip it off you just do real bad damage that's what he's doing he's looking at those dick lifts uh so like i i think there's a there's a

level where you have to sort of internalize love and and care for yourself and be be okay with who you are and what you have and and and be like if this isn't good enough for someone that's their fucking problem and that's the thing they're probably an asshole if this isn't good enough for someone, that's their fucking problem. And that's the thing. They're probably an asshole if this is the case. Or they're an idiot. Like, I don't think you can be anything other than one of those two things. You can either be so, like, naive and dumb that you actually buy into this weird thing,

or you've only ever seen porn so that, like, once you don't see a porn vagina, you're like, blah, or you're an asshole. Like, I really don't think there's a third option where you're like a girl or that any though. And if you find someone that cares about you and loves you and all those great, lovely emotional things, then I, we've talked about it before in the past where it's like, I will be, I will grow more attracted to someone.

The more I connect with them on sort of like a social level, right? So even if like they will get turned on by your body as an extension of who you are as a person. And the more you project. Also because of your body. And it's like, it's a perfect cycle of like each feeds into the other. The more you sort of project your insecurities on people, the more likely that sort of perfect circle is going to start having, you know,

chunks taken out of it as a result of that. So I really, really hope you can find, like I said, talk to a sexual therapist, discuss this with them. I promise you they will direct you to, again,

one of the many, many, many art projects and installations. There was a great one at the cne uh a few years ago uh i think before the pandemic and it was they were like molds of vaginas and it was like a bit about who the party was like a lovely headshot of that person like doing the thing that they do like gardening or pottery or whatever a little blurb about them and it's just like they're like a mold of their vulva and it's just like it was

it was there to be like you would we could switch all these things around and you would never know right like you would never be able to look at you know helen who's been a gardener at a you know a fucking resort for 40 years and be like that's her vagina that there it is right there it doesn't matter and and that like that was the thing it was like it's so inconsequential to who they are as people and as women. Yeah. And also, none of them were bad. No. So I will say, obviously, see a therapist if you can.

But things like this, you can also work on yourself. You can seek out these things. You can read stuff. There's always the ability to build yourself up, even a little bit. I don't want to ever take the responsibility or like the power away from people we're like sometimes i think a lot of people are like well i don't have money for therapy or therapy stressful i can't do it and there's nothing i can do so i'll just sit in this you can always better your mental state and by like working on

it go you know watch the vagina monologues watch the vagina that's like the whole fucking point of it watch look at these art things read people who are insecure on fucking Reddit. You'll find posts. I'm sure there are nice comments on this. I hope there are. Yeah. God knows if there are, because there are assholes out there, but you're fine. You're fine.

Just work on the insecurity. Yeah. We got a quick old Tinder, and this is an update from last week. Hell yeah. From the one we did from Agent Winchester. Okay. And I love it. They have taken our advice on board.

I'm elbowing the laptop. Are you ready? Okay, so we got some new pictures outside of work. A little hiking, a very cute kitty walking across a very well-stacked bookshelf, which I love because it's a dual...

It works on two levels. Are they in that picture? No, they're not. They're a cute cat bookshelf, and there are other pictures of them like i'm not upset yeah you're not in it uh i like that yeah i see your taste in books and i see that you have a well-stuck thing and that tells me about you uh and then like doing some fun stuff and just you know it's cool it's a lot more personable it's not just work i think it's a really good job about me i manually stimulated the breeding process for a horse today. How was your day at work?

I'm really far behind on Marvel movies. Anyone want to watch? My weird but true story is, I can quote books backwards and forwards, but couldn't tell you what my shopping list is for Walmart. Looking for, long term, open to short. My biography would probably be called, My Book Collection Borders on Obsession, A Self Guide to Spending All Your Money. Me.

I'm a grown up. Also me. I just spent 30 minutes debating on if I needed to hit the buy button on amazon and telling myself i'm an adult i don't need to ask permission hell yeah it's fun yeah there's we know i i know more about you now i know who you are my only tweak i got one tweak and that would be include the last marvel movie you saw okay cool yeah that's that's my only thing because i think that is you've got you've got like the hook and i think that would be really delicious bait because if you're like oh i haven't seen endgame yet or something right yeah i think anyone who's passionate about that is going to be like hold on

you stopped watching before you saw endgame or before you saw infinity war like i i think the people who are going to nerd out about that hook yes would would be because like they might also be like oh like you've seen infinity war everything after that you can kind of take a pass on here's or even just like oh i really enjoyed this one yeah let's skip three but let's watch this yeah you have you've got the spice now to sort of like lure people in with a little bit more so i think that i think that's the only little hint i would give you. Other than that, I love it. It's a great change. No, done really well. Good job. Yeah.

Good job. Hell yeah. I'm going to thank Josh Eagle and the Harbor Cities for their Sonic Paper Stars. And I'm going to just bring you over for some bad sex writing. Hell yeah. This is... We should probably say other stuff, like goodbye. Thank you for listening.

Thanks a lot. We love you. Please rate, review us, join our Patreon. You'll find all on all of our socials uh if you're on tiktok come join us we got videos up there yeah um if you've not doing a great job putting like our social media stuff together we've got less uh like episode stuff which is fine because you're listening to it anyway but what's your the the juice is the live show stuff yes those are that's the those are the video content you want to,

you don't want to miss. Cause you see our faces, you see our faces live in, in our element doing our thing. Yeah. Not in a hot closet. Not in a hot closet. Um,

so yeah, if you have a friend you think would like us send us their way, please. We love you. This is by Michael R. Fletcher. And it is a book called black stone heart. My Henke had been a tiny creature, easily lifted.

This woman's arms were round with muscle, her stomach a hard plane of ridged abdominals. I stared up at her, unable to think or speak. Small nipples and dark areolas. Flawless. Breathtaking. A goddess. She'd always been surprisingly strong for her size. Now I doubt that she'd have trouble tearing me apart with her bare hands.

Looking past the breasts, I examined her i mean it makes sense it's like a like a sonar right like the breasts are further out it's in the face right so i've gotta yeah i've gotta i've gotta see and then like nipple areola face neck yeah that's it that's how i look at people yeah completely normal way it does kind of read like the scene in American Psycho where they're comparing business cards, where he's like, oh, card stock. Nice. Like with the like the small nipples, dark areolas. Perfect.

It does. What are you talking about? Have you not seen American Psycho where they're like, they're like trading like business cards and like there's like his internal monologue. He's like, how did Jerry get a business card like that? What I'd like stupid slub have such taste in cards. Like it sounds like, like it kind of reads very American psych.

We, I will say when someone gives me a card with like better stock than our cards, I'm like, damn it. Damn it. We've worked and cooked. Yeah.

He got us. God damn it. But then we show them our small dark areola nipples yeah and we bring it back around right back around my name is Dave Miller

and I'm Niles Payne and we've been your fuck buddies