F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 309 - RIP Hulk Hogan

Episode Date: September 16, 2024

Hulkamania will not longer be running wild.  Topics include throwing up a whole bunch, a poop-inducing scare, where does oral happen, a rough ex-perience. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

I put my trust in you, and I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. I put my trust in you, and I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. Hello friends, my name is Dave Miller. And I'm Niall Spain. And we're your fuck buddies. We are a sex and dating advice podcast

Where we take your sticky sexy situations And turn them into sexy sticky situations Where do we find the questions Dan? Online or by you the lovely listeners What do we do with the questions Dan? We answer them in your ears Where the fuck are you setting them on? Gotcha

Damn it What's a podcast? Podcast is Hey man What are you my parents? Welcome it's us It's your boys We're back in the closet What's a podcast? Podcast is, hey man, what are you, my parents? Welcome. It's us. It's your boys.

We're back in the closet. It's only been a couple of minutes, but to you, it's been a week. Did we capoeira? Who knows? Who knows? You want to just get into it? Or do you want to talk about Joey Chestnut some more? Do we talk about what we think could happen this week?

Oh, God. I think of the worst thing. It's probably that. It's stupid because, and I know I kind of talked about this last week, but like, the world has gotten to a place where anything is possible. Like, we could bullshit

about anything right now. Like, remember when they were like, hey, aliens exist, and no one gave a single goddamn shit about it? I really want to be like, pick a celebrity. They're the ones that died this week. No. I don't want to put that danger on us.

So we're going to. Unless we want to say like Hulk Hogan. I'd be okay. Okay. Let's say Hulk Hogan is dead. Hulk Hogan dies. He's dead. Guys, I look, I used to, I was a wrestling fan growing up.

And Hulkamania ran pretty wild on me for a little bit. Actually, not really. Hulk Hogan wasn't... I wasn't a Hulk Hogan. I was like... I came up with... Rock, Triple H, Kane. Stone Cold. I was the Attitude Era.

But then when Hulk Hogan came back in as the new NWO, when they bought WCW, he came back. Hollywood Hulk Hogan. I was never a really big Hulk Hogan fan. And particularly with his terrible views. Okay, you started this by saying you were a Hulk Hogan, and you were like, actually, no.

Actually, no. I was thinking that. I was like, no. You bamboozled us, the audience, on this very podcast in these very years. I'm just saying I'm glad he's dead. But hey, RIP. RIP. This could be the funniest episode or the worst,

depending on one, what happens, and two, how people take it. You ready for this question? Yeah. Oh, fuck. This week, we're going to talk about throwing up a whole bunch. A scare so scary that he may shit his pants. Where do you give oral? A rough ex experience.

Okay. Like the ex? No. The famed carnival in toronto so it was like so there's a affair in toronto called the canadian national exhibition short-formed to the x uh it's a big thing we love it it's it's like a fair it's just a big fair i don't get it because i didn't grow up here but it's just a big fair essentially i went i went to the sad casino once and it was sad and that's my only real x experience really you've never been to like the food place or we went

that one time i think that day but i don't remember us getting much food or being noteworthy i don't know it's just like you get all your weird food stuff it's like the big turkey legs there's like a bunch of like stuff that'll give you food poisoning there was a big controversy where they the food is is will give you food poisoning and the rides kill you yeah it's great uh the rides are the sketchiest things ever it's just like a small town fair in a big city but big city sized um what the fuck are we talking you were gonna drop knowledge on on us about it for some reason i don't remember what the why we're talking about the cne uh you said something about the axe and i said the canadian You said violent X experience.

I said, the X? And you were like, actually. And you were about to say something about it. This is incredible audio. This is by Bob Oyster. I threw up a lot on my first date with the woman I've been dying to meet. I was hanging out last Saturday and happened to go to a local bar near the downtown area. As I walked in, I noticed this lady

who I've seen plenty of times, but often thought she was out of my league. Oddly enough, she took a long gaze at me and smiled. She appeared to be there with another gentleman, so I did not approach her out of respect. Later on that night, as I was exiting the restroom, we passed each other and struck up a conversation. She gave me her number and told me she was there with a friend and they were not on a date. Happy that I had a way to contact her, I went on my way with my night. While bar hopping later that same evening, I bumped into her again, but this time she was alone. I walked her to her car, and we talked for 20 to 30 minutes before she invited me to sit in the car with her. After 10 to 20 more talking, she asked if I would like to take a ride with her, and I agreed

excitedly. We went and parked next to the lake, shared stories, and got pretty detailed about our past and current relationships. She then asked me if I liked to smoke. I told her I do occasionally, but in a while since I'd last smoked, I said I'd join her if that's what she wanted. Not knowing we would need to go to our house to do so, I was even more excited about how much we'd progressed and how comfortable she was with me in such a short time. We arrived at our house, which was immaculous.

She brought out the cannabis and made me a drink. We smoked and I drank my shot. Afterwards, she nestled right under me and it was almost like we were on date five or six, but then I started to feel seasick. I stumbled to the bathroom and began to rinse my face. I laid down on the floor and closed my eyes. All I remember was her knocking on the door asking if I'm all right. I'm sure I stayed in the bathroom for at least 20 or 30 minutes. After trying to get myself together, I turned to the living room, but she sat with a

concerned look on her face. I tried to keep it together, but the room was spinning and I had to go back to the bathroom. This time, all the alcohol I drank came up. It was everywhere. Fortunately, it was clear and not chunky. She heard this and rushed to the bathroom, offering help. Said she was a nurse and wanted to support me. Out of embarrassment and not wanting to further humiliate myself, I told her I needed to go home. She suggested I stay until the morning, since I was in no condition to drive.

Knowing the worst of my drunkenness was yet to come, I was determined to get home. She assisted me, calling me an Uber to get me back to my car and wait outside me, still vomiting until the Uber came. Somehow I sobered up when I got to my car and drove home. Reckless, I know. Let's just take a break to say, don't do this. Don't do that. Don't fucking drink and drive.

Yeah. Dumbass. Embarrassed, I text her the following day, apologizing for what happened, thanking her for being concerned and letting her know it was not my typical behavior and would like to make it up to her. She responded with, I'm just glad that you are okay. I sent a more playful message today inviting her to meet without alcohol being involved.

No response. At this point, I think it's a wrap but I would like some suggestions, if any, about how to reconnect after such a crazy experience for the both of us. I really like this girl. This sucks. I do want to yell at you for the whole you didn't sober up. If you're so drunk

that you're puking, you're not sober. Also, you're high. Don't do this. That's just bad in general. It's going to add to how she views you if she was like, yo, you're fucked up. You can't do this. You're like, I'm doing it anyway. That might actually be the nail in the coffin

because this person is a nurse. You getting ill and puking probably isn't too big of a deal to her. They've seen worse. Oh, for sure. And it was kind of their fault in a way. If they gave you this weed, they fucked you up so bad, you know? So like you probably had a fair chance of recovering with that. But I wonder, did the other things make it worse?

Because you know what nurse doesn't like? You crashing into a minivan full of kids. I'm sure they're equally pissed off when they're just dealing with the one person in the car that was drinking and driving and being like this fucking idiot yeah um so yes that aside i'm going to like yeah isolate that we've we've we've dealt with this we put it in the box we're putting it to the side so we can get it you know but don't do it um the it always sucks when it doesn't matter whether you're like i'm embarrassed when i throw up with my partner regardless especially if it's because i'm drinking it's it's a shitty thing to do you feel bad it's gross yeah you feel pretty ashamed yeah um so i get it to feel like oh i fucked up it's even worse when it's a person that you've kind

of like been vibing with for a bit and then you just met and then you know you actually really like for sure i get it i mean there were i was on a first date with someone once and i've i like they ended up getting their period early and wasn't expecting it some got on my sheets and they were like mortified i was just like yeah who gives a fuck it doesn't matter it's like i, I understand, like, even at my, like, this is when I was like, 18, 19,

and I was like, I understand that nothing I say will make you less embarrassed, but please let me assure you that I do not care. Yeah. It does not matter.

I will wash the sheets. They will be fine. And then nothing, like, and like, it's, it's not even like vomit where you may have to deal with chunks.

You put it in, you know, maybe treat it a little a little bit it's it's a very low effort like dealing with it yeah and then i mean um i've i've been on like there was a girl i was really into in university and we would always like bump into each other but never like in a situation where we could like you know do more than just kind of chat but like it always felt like we had a vibe once we met each other at a uh like a frat party and like things were going really well we were like dancing and at one point some random guy like gave her a drink and she was like i don't want this i was like i got it there was something in either that drink or something else i had because i was out for like 20 hours like i woke up the next day when it was dark thinking it was that morning because it was like fall. So it was like 9 p.m.

I thought it was 9 a.m. Yeah. Or 8. You get it. I was so fucked. And like apparently I just like basically went nonverbal and like eventually like just stumbled away. And I don't know how the fuck I got home.

But needless to say, we didn't hang out anymore after that. And luckily, it wasn't too embarrassing. But I think they were just like, I'm a weird guy. It sucks. But, you know, sometimes it happens. So what can you do to get back from this? I say there's no harm in reaching out one more time. Yeah.

You know what I mean? I will say she's a nurse. She did not replying to your message like quickly. She might be on a 14 hour shift. But yeah, or sleeping from a 14 hour shift. Yeah. So keep that in mind. maybe give it a day or two and i think just be be honest be like hey i'm really sorry about what happened the other night if it's like if you because you seem to say you don't smoke very often or whatever just be honest be like i don't really smoke and i guess it just

hit me in the worst way i'm really embarrassed but i actually had a really good time with you and i would love to redo it yeah uh you know and just leave it at hit me in the worst way. I'm really embarrassed, but I actually had a really good time with you and I would love to redo it. And just leave it at that. That's the thing. You've shot your shot first. I would love to know if you ever got a response from that first message because as now said, nurses aren't exactly

glued to their phone ready to give immediate updates. So it doesn't fucking matter. But you do have sort of like one final, like, so they said, I sent a more playful message today. So it's like, by the time you've sent this, this post, I don't think there's been enough time for again. Yes. Yeah. So I say, even if that one goes sort of unanswered,

there might be some like hesitation of being like, eh, and then like, if you give another, as now said, earnest, honest apologetic sort of like explanation of what happened I think at that point in time it's either a yes or a no from her and that's when you have to like call it a wash if she doesn't respond to you

you gave it your all, you gave it your best and who knows, if you guys frequent the same bars you might bump into each other you might cross paths I Yes. And that's I think right now it's like one for her sake. Keep it cool. Yeah. Don't be weird. One more is fine. Right. But two, for your sake and for their

sake, if you do bump into each other, at least you would want a friendly like, hey, you don't like fuck she's in the bar or for her to be like, fuck he's in the bar. But who knows? Maybe she'll get over the awkwardness you are. You can have a chat. You know, I do.

I will say if you're not used to fucking smoking weed or whatever, don't do it. One, in a place or in a way where it's like important or like out of the ordinary like this, where it's like the odds of you tanking this are massively high. If you're having substances you're unfamiliar with, especially if you've already been drinking. Yeah. Right. massively high if you're having substances you're unfamiliar with especially if you've already been drinking yeah right like if if you don't have the experience of drinking and smoking together frequently or even just like if you don't drink much and you're out with a girl she's like hey

you want to do shots don't do the shots you know what i mean like if you're out with someone they're like you want to do a bunch of cat and you've never done ketamine like you might want to just be like hell yeah this person will think i'm cool but like you're gonna end up in this position or worse there's no harm in saying like no to people and again if they get upset that you're not railing shots with them or getting high with them or whatever yes if they're if they're treating you shitty because you're not doing those things then it's like you suck do you want to get in a relationship with someone who's going to gaslight you or or sort of like guilt you into doing things you don't want to do. Regardless of whether it's just like they

want to smoke. So now you have to smoke despite the fact that you actually want to focus on the movie or whatever podcast that you have to record. Yeah. Right. So it's like if you don't have to, if you don't want to do these things and they're not cool with you not doing these things and like that's a pretty good indication. Like for me,

I've been on dates where like the second, like they want to do a shot, like the second we sat down, I'm like, that makes me so uncomfortable. It's like either you require this to like get through this date or you're here to like, just make,

take me for a ride sort of situation like that. So I'm just like, I don't also like there's a time and place for shots. I don't think sitting down is either of those. Yeah. It's like within like five seconds of meeting each other, it's just like, I don't also like there's a time and place for shots. I don't think sitting down is either of those. Yeah. It's like within like five seconds of meeting each other. It's just like, can we get two shots? It's like, and like, if you're going on a night out, have a few drinks, do a little

bar hop. That's one thing. Even then, whatever. All I'm saying is do what is good for you. And you don't have to like, I know a lot of the time people do this because they don't want to seem uncool, but having like your own fucking standpoint is always cooler than just being like, yeah, whatever. I'll do it. Also puking all over their shit.

Not cool. Yeah. But also you don't have to be like, no, I don't smoke and like shut it down. You can be like, oh, no, I'm good. But like if you want to like, yeah, fuck. Yeah. I mean, I don't I've never ever touched a drug, including marijuana. So it's like the amount of times where people are like oh I smoked you

it's like no I'm like by all means I don't think anyone has ever gotten weird with me and that's that's a crazy thing right like for you know my entire life all the dates I've gone on all the people I've been with I don't think anyone has ever gotten weird with me

by saying like at least not in romantic some social situation sure especially when i was younger but like romantically on dates or whatever if someone's like i'm gonna have smoke a little bit i've been like no i'm good but like i'll join you on the video or outside or whatever like i'm like we're fine and it's never gone poorly for me just to say that you can say no and still keep things going you don't have to be like no i'm leaving yeah unless you want to that's fine yeah if they're like hey i've got a giant bag of coke and you're not down with that that's cool you know what i mean but just don't do these things you don't want to do and don't do things you're not sure you can handle in new situations

or important situations because like if you hadn't done this this night would have gone a lot fucking differently you know right easier said than done 2020 vision in the past and all that but like you know 2020 vision in the past and all that yeah well man that's the saying oh yeah it's a cultural thing dan you wouldn't get it um this is from mortem really close to shitting my pants oh no why'd you take the time to write this post? So me and my girlfriend have been having sex. She's on birth control and I always pull out even though it isn't reliable

but you can never be too safe. You can. I'm scared because recently both of us got drunk and I can remember everything clearly but she asked me to come in her and I was scared and skeptical so I faked it. She didn't notice and I know it was a dick her and I was scared and skeptical. So I faked it. She didn't notice.

And I know it was a dick move and I feel real bad already. So please don't roast me. Oh, we're going to, and she always craves food and it's starting to make me paranoid. And she has been doing intermittent fasting. Well, this is intermediate fasting to lose weight. And she says she's nauseous.

And I know I'm just paranoid but i'm scared and i know i'm not supposed to have sex when i can't accept the risk but i'm just human i'm scared don't know how to react this like i don't know if it's just the way you read it or the way it was written but it feels like better batch almost it does have strong better batch energy and i do think i was putting a little bit of... A little bit of the stink on it. A little bit of the stink on it. That's fine, though. Although we all know it's not her that stinks.

It's not her. It's her stink. Yes. She deleted her account, by the way. I wanted to bring in some Better Betch and just all... Probably for the best. All gone. It did kind of get to the point where I was like, I felt bad when we were mocking her almost.

Yeah. Yeah. We've grown. We've grown. So this idiot... Yeah. Yeah. We've grown. We've grown. So this idiot. Yeah. Uh, look,

I like how he doesn't like, he doesn't come right out and say that he's scared that she's pregnant. No, that's showing, not telling. Yeah. Um, if you're,

if you're worried about getting somebody pregnant, do, do your utmost. And by that, I mean, wear a condom. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like birth control can be like, at least when a condom yeah you know i mean like birth control can be like at least when a condom breaks you generally know whereas like you can't tell if like oh i had the shits earlier and i didn't absorb that medicine correctly or oh i had like fucking charcoal ice cream or blah blah blah like this interaction means that this thing you know birth control can be reduced in a number of ways so it it's not, and also not, not to be shitty, but you don't know if they're taking it correctly. You don't know if they're taking it at all. They might just be saying they are.

Yeah. So, um, you know, also like if someone's like coming me and you're uncomfortable about it, or sorry, if you're skeptical and scared, skeptical,

scared, I believe skeptical is great. Like, yeah, do you want, like, don't do it. Like faking it is,

is fine if you are uncomfortable or if you are scared or something, but like the best option is just to have a conversation about it. You know what I mean? It is funny that he's like, I faked it. I know that's a dick move. It's like, it's not,

it's not really like the opposite is the dick move. Yeah. Um, this one is just kind of weird. Yeah. You know, but like, you know,

it's, it's a pretty victimless crime, but like, you know, it's, it's a pretty victimless crime, but like also a better way forward is to talk and be like, Hey, when we were drunk the other day and you said this thing, like, do you want to talk about it? Because I don't feel comfortable like just full on coming in you.

Yeah. And like have that discussion so that you don't have to feel awkward and that you don't have to have that in the middle of sex or fake it or feel terrified. But if you're worried about a pregnancy so badly, which you are, then wear a condom as well. This is just, oh, you can never be too safe. I mean, you've done... You could be safer.

You could be safer. You could be massively safer. You're not doing all that you can to be safe. Herbing on the pill and you pulling out is not the epitome of dude like um so there's that but like if you're worried like if she's nauseous and if she's doing all these things maybe talk to her a bit like hey are you okay is this intermittent fasting because if it is or sorry intermediate fast intermediate if it is maybe you should go down

to easy fasting you know what i mean maybe fast. Yeah. Or just no fasting because fasting is usually really bad for your health. That's the thing. Look, look, I get it. I think every dude who is sexually active has always or has at some point in time had the like the scare. And you can feel that scared. However, if you're going to be having sex, I don't i think you're going to be and you're an anxious person which i get the vibe that perhaps you may be um you need to acknowledge the fact that you will be anxious pretty much until you get confirmation that a period has been

gotten yeah so you need to do what i did when i was younger, because I was also very, very scared. But like, I also wore a condom. Yes. And there were times where I had been wearing condoms the entire time and they hadn't broke. And then my girlfriend at the time was like, I, you know,

my period's late. And I'm like, we're 16. This is terrible. My life is over. But like, even with the confirmation in my, like knowing that the condom didn't break and that we didn't have fucking raw sex, I was still freaking out.

Yeah. So it's like I could get it. But the thing is, you can't do that and be this worried, but not take the proper precautions. And even if you take the proper precautions, it's like it'll help. It will fucking it will help. But you can't like every time you have sex be like what if she's pregnant and then look for the signs of yeah it's it you're gonna go goddamn crazy if if every time you have sex you're just like counting down the hours and seconds until someone gets their period because it's always the dodgy times like periods are dicks they're always late when you don't want

them to be and always early when you don't want them to be. They're never, unlike a wizard, they're never on time. So relax. If you want more peace of mind, wear a condom. There are ways to further protect yourself from this. And you need

to understand that I'm glad you didn't cave into pressure and come in this person but as nell said you do need to have a conversation and be like hey i'm i'm cool with if you want to ask me to that's a fun thing that you can say it's hot but to be cool with me not you need to know that like i am not comfortable doing that and i will not do that yeah uh without wearing a condom or without whatever like your level of comfort is and be like i'm fine with you saying it but you need to be fine with me either pretending to do it or you

know not actually doing it uh and that's that's basically it but again i think even doing more will help you feel better you know but the anxiety i get it but it's like i got over it yeah and a lot of that was because i was taking the appropriate care and realized that like, oh, if I do these things correctly, I'm in the, you know, I'm in the clear. Yeah. This is few comfortable 60, 80. Where do you give oral?

I would love to know if this is a location or a just like, what do you think? What do you think? I am going to assume that they don't know what oral sex is at all and they're wondering if it like if it does it include nipple play is it kissing that's my guess okay i've been seeing guy for a few weeks i'm ready to go past making out where do you have oral sex like physically we both live home alone 20s so usually hang out on the couch do you start start on the couch? Move to the bed?

If we go to the bed, will he expect sex, not just oral? Tips for moving to next step. Okay, this is sweet. Because I understand the fear of bringing someone to your bed. If you're just fooling around, that bringing someone to the bed has the connotation that sex is on the table. That's a conversation to be had. bringing someone to the bed that has the connotation that sex is on the table. Um, that's a conversation to be had. Uh, I think it's certainly something to be,

hopefully your partner is respectful enough and, and educated enough to know that like each increase in, in sort of intensity does comes with a new level of consent that needs to be obtained. Um, and that like, just because you're blowing them doesn't mean it's going to mean sex. Um, hopefully that is, that is the scenario yeah as per your actual question anywhere man anywhere anywhere anywhere in fact like i think it's better if you don't go oh let's go to the bed because

like one it's oral definitely doesn't need to be in it doesn't have to be one two like breaking up the act is never fun you know what i mean like if you start going and you're like, hold on, let's go to the bed. Like, okay, let me just shuffle with my jeans by my ankles or take them off. No, it's, it's just anywhere, anywhere. I mean, I don't, I'm worried that you're, I understand what you're saying in the sense of where, and I think in your scenario, she started giving a blow job on the couch. But if you know that you're not going to get into a comfortable position to blow someone on a couch, then you can move it wherever you're comfortable with. You can

do it wherever you want. Yes, but that's part of anywhere. That's part of anywhere. And I will say, to Dane's point, comfort is really essential. So if you want to get down on your knees and he's still on the couch or whatever, do not be afraid to put a pillow down under those knees. Gentlemen, you should be

getting a pillow or a blanket or something. If someone is doing something to me or I'm doing something to them and I have even the slightest inclination that they might be uncomfortable, I always offer. I say, hey, are you comfortable right now? Do you want me to grab that pillow? Or I just grab the pillow and I grab the pillow because knees, the hard surface,

bad. It's actually really funny because pillow yeah or i just grab the pillow on like grab the pillows knees the hard surface bad the it's actually really funny because like i i love a good standing blow job it's it's a one of life standing um there's there's something there's something that's like there's there's it just feels better yeah i hate lying down blow jobs i i i'm compared to staniel like it's one like one that's top tier one is still a blowjob yeah let's be clear um i but yeah it's like there's something nice about like sitting at the edge of a couch or on the bed like i know there's probably a power fantasy in there as well um probably a blood flow thing i don't know also like sitting on the edge of something is still better than lying down yes yeah i agree um but uh well yeah it's funny how many times i've like just

instinctively been like you know i will say it's like i want you to get on your knees for me and i will grab a pillow and like the amount of times like ladies have been like oh just like it's so funny what are you doing if you're not doing this yes have you ever like get on your knees you're it's gonna hurt i will i will And maybe this is just sort of like the way that my body is made. But I have always been so impressed with the fact that women are like riding like you're you're on. Like, I couldn't sit on a bed like that for that long. And I'm like, that sucks. It's well, you could do with some leg stretches.

I do. Yeah, my leg. My leg mobility is fucking terrible your legs is tight um but no it's fair it's fair but again like it's i always find it funnier as well when people are like they don't realize the amount of like effort and power and stuff that goes into thrusting or the angles you're at and then when it's their turn they're like i'm so tired you're like what do you think i've been doing yeah i haven't just been chilling up here yeah i'm putting in work. Iron hip flexors.

It's, uh, yeah, I, I respect the ladies for being in that kneeling position because it's, it's not what I could do. They're powerful. Uh,

but you gotta, you gotta have this, you know, it's gotta care. You know what I mean? Think about your partner in terms of their comfort as well as their pleasure. This isn't even like question. No, it's not,

but it's an important lesson. So anywhere, anywhere you want to, anywhere that's comfortable for you anywhere like the the more impromptu sometimes it's hotter you know what i mean that's the thing is like i i think there's a level of like like if there's a sense of urgency of just being like i guess of like right now clothes getting torn off right like the the moment is right uh you've only got like your pants halfway down and it's like it's just enough to get her out uh it's it's it's great so i don't get so in your head about and so

clinical about like steps and like what's gonna happen again i understand your concern i do i do get it especially if you're younger better than half the questions we get yeah um but think of it this way comfort for you and them yeah safety for you and them. So like the middle of a park during daytime, that's probably a no. Right. If it's a room, somebody might come into like a parent or whatever. That's probably a no. You know what I mean? Or if you have roommates and it's a public area, like respect the space as well, especially

if you're a particularly sloppy gal. Yeah. Right. Like no one wants to like walk in after a long day of work and be like, why is there fucking, why is there a ring of saliva on the couch yeah like what the hell's happening also like even if you're cool with that risk they might not be and you don't want them to be in their head like fuck their mom might come in or like oh no and like not enjoy it right so comfort safety that's yeah good good that's it um you know and willingness like if you want to go to the bed

because you'll be more comfortable or whatever yeah that just feeds back into comfort i'm repeating myself yeah you got it you got it anywhere you want that's the way you need it anywhere you want it in the kitchen that's it couch kitchen only yeah the only place blowjob happens uh this is from m cluey night channel no am am am night channel track is that the twist all along yeah like it's gonna it's gonna zoom out all of his movies and it's gonna like zoom out a little bit and you're gonna see i am night shamalan there's gotta be more on that side, too. No, it's just really poorly weighted.

Hooked up with my ex. He was very rough, and I feel a bit weird about it. Me and my ex-boyfriend were together for two years, and we broke up about three months ago. I initiated it. We had several issues we just couldn't work through because of his stubbornness. I figured that I had to give him the kick up the ass, which is a weird turn of phrase. I've never heard. Also, giving someone a kick up the ass is like trying to like do something dramatic to spur them up. Not like leaving them unless you left them.

So they'd get back with you. Yeah. Which is let me tell you some advice right here. Don't do that. Yeah. Well, I recently reached out to him and found out he'd moved into his own apartment. Seemed he had seemed to have had his life back together when he asked if i wanted to meet up for a drink i said yes we were connected well got drunk and was too drunk to

drive i stayed over at his apartment which was nearby one thing led to another we had sex now we've always been a bit rough that's just how we like it but he's usually so kind and caring and even during sex he's checking on me making sure we haven't crossed any boundaries telling me he loves me this time wasn't like that he didn't check in, making sure we haven't crossed any boundaries, telling me he loves me. This time wasn't like that. He didn't check in on me or check if he'd crossed any boundaries, e.g. he can hit my cervix pretty often, and he always asks if I'm okay when he does. But this time, he hit it several times and just didn't give a fuck.

And he didn't tell me he loved me, which is understandable, but he spanked me, choked me, thrusted, etc. way harder than he used to. And his dirty talk sounded so angry instead of the gentle dominance I was used to. I felt used by the end of it. And while I enjoyed it at the time, I've been thinking about it and it makes me feel uncomfortable. Like he hates me, scared that he's capable of that. And I'm not sure what the best course of action is. I don't want him to feel bad, but I also don't really want to let him think that if we hook up again, he can do that again. Why did he behave like this in the first place i don't get it so if you're engaging in rougher sex i don't understand why you don't have a safe word at which point you could have used said safe word in this interaction if at

any point you were uncomfortable well it sounds like she wasn't uncomfortable till after the because she said i felt used by the end of it. And while I enjoyed it during the time, thinking about it makes me feel uncomfortable. But there were also things where it was like, during, her cervix was getting hit. I don't know. It's just, it's strange to me. Yeah.

That. Secondly, he probably is pissed off. That's the thing. And I'm not excusing this, and I'm not saying it's okay. No. But I think you're right, where it's like there's and i'm not excusing this and i'm not saying it's okay no but i think you're right where it's like he now gets to like fuck you like you're not his girlfriend right yeah also like fuck you like it's a one-time disposable not even a no feelings thing because he has feelings and those feelings are unhappy ones so it's like he's acting on that it would be weirder not that again i'm not excusing this i. It would be weirder, not that, again,

I'm not excusing this. I think it'd be weirder if he was saying I love you, which luckily you do seem to understand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He just, also you guys were drunk, presumably. Yeah. I don't know if that's a thing. And again, none of this is excusing it.

I'm just saying if you're asking why, you broke up with him, he's obviously not over it or, you know, maybe he was repressed like maybe he's just very horny because he hasn't been getting laid in a couple of weeks or whatever you know what i mean again none of this is excusing it but it's like these are all very understand like understandable sounds like i get where he's coming from i'm saying they're very obvious things yeah like none of this is me having to really think about it like and it's like judging by the the breakup it sounds like he you dumped him yeah so there's this sort of like i think there's a a fantasy of like getting to

fuck your ex like they're not your like that they're like a just a random person or like that you don't have to like talk to them the next morning like there's there's that yeah of of sort of like this this fantasy of being like oh here's this person i used to care about and now i get to just like a piece of me yeah now i get to treat them like a just a like a little fuck toy and then don't have to worry about you know how they feel about the next morning they don't have to worry and like i think it's obviously very toxic and a very shitty way to think and view someone yeah um without sort of like again a conversation about like that being the issue but like let's talk about the fact that she enjoyed it

and it was only after the fact that she's like rethinking that i wonder are you like are you feeling other things and you're attributing it to this because like if you had sex with them and you're like oh it wasn't like like do you miss the relationship or is there like something deeper a play that you're also is feeding into this because like like what why is it an issue now you know what i mean that's that's why it's like are you i think there's there's one i think we have to acknowledge that like he crossed it sounds like he crossed boundaries and he crossed lines that you weren't comfortable with. Or it seems like there was intention behind what he was doing.

Sure. And it was to relieve frustration. Sure. It sounds like. Yeah. Based on your account of the act. Because like he wasn't asking if you're okay. He wasn't checking on you.

He wasn't like, you sort of paint the picture that he's a soft dom. It's frustrating me because I don't want to sound victim blamey and i don't want to sound like i'm on his side yeah but like it does take two to tango and it's like if you have these safe if you don't have a safe word you should have one if you do have one and you didn't use it like were you not comfortable you know what i mean like this thing is like how much did you enjoy like was was is there any reason that he would have done the things that he normally did yes he's obviously not going to say he loves you because you broke up that that would be weird right uh checking in it's like you know he presumably like did you give him cause to check in and is the cervix thing like was it because you said ow or was it like yeah right what was

it what was the trigger for him to check in on like were were you guys so drunk that you guys were just enjoying it too much or that it seemed did one thing lead to check in on? Were you guys so drunk that you guys were just enjoying it too much? Or did one thing lead to another in this, like, we were just talking about ripping clothes off kind of way, and he just thought that was the vibe? Like, again, it's so hard to interrogate these situations without seeming like you're coming down on one side or another. But it's like you always had the safe word, presumably. And if you didn't, you should have one. So it's like, if after the fact, things didn't you should have one so it's like if after the fact things are upsetting you in retrospect is it just that things have changed

is it that you didn't get what you were hoping for but why would you you're not broken up it's different yeah are you looking to recreate what you guys had because that that's also fair or an unfair expectation like yeah you you're not what you were also to dump someone and go back to them and then be like, he didn't act like he did back when, and then also to them be like, I want to hook up with him again. I want to make sure that he,

he goes back. Like, it seems very strange as to like what you're looking for. Yeah. Like, and I think that like is, is the thing. If this person was rough and uncaring and unkind,

why are you talking about going back and fucking them again? One. Two. Again, safe word. If you don't have one, have one. If you do have one, use it when you need to. Right? Three.

Figure out what the fuck you want from this. Because it seems like you almost want to eat your cake and have it. Or it was a kick up the ass. And now that he has his own apartment, you're like, great, let's get back together. Which I think is very unfair and maybe unrealistic. But if you want to eat your cake and have it and continue to fuck this person while having them be dumped, like, I don't think you can expect to have everything be the same as it was. Not that you should put up with mistreatment or anything, because you definitely shouldn't. But like, I think on that same side, you can't just expect it to be the same.

So it's like, is there a middle ground? Maybe. Or like, not even a middle ground. Not that you should have some level of abuse you know what i mean but i'm saying like if you want to fuck this person you know it's not going to be the same yeah that's the thing it's like you're not you can't break up with someone and then expect to go back and have the exact same sex with the exact same intensity and the exact same sort of compassion and sort of like feeling an emotional bubble around it, that's just not going to happen.

It could, but the likelihood of it is very slim. You guys aren't together anymore. And as Nell said, if you don't like the way you were treated, don't go back to him. Yes, for sure. You can chalk this up to be like, oh, I fucked up. This was a mistake. He is in a bad place or I don't like the way he treated me.

And like, don't give these people time if you don't like it, but you can't, you can't like sort of state like, oh, it was where we're in a completely different scenario. And the sex was really different and I didn't really like it. But if I want to go back and do it again, like it makes no sense. Yeah. it but if i want to go back and do it again like it makes no sense yeah so as now said figure out what you want because it seems like you're not sure or or what you want is unrealistic or bad or you know what it what you want and you realize that it's dumb or the disconnected right like and like that you like you realize that it's a bad idea that you want and that's why you're not saying

it because you don't ever say that you want to get back with him no you don't say that you want to just use him for sex you don't even really say like why you why you reached out to him again you just say like i recently reached out to him found out that he's moved into his home plate it's like why why are you reaching out to him if you if you realize you weren't if you compatible you broke up with him and then you reach out you also again you never said i ended things and tried to move on you said i ended things to give him a kick up the ass yeah which literally sounds like you did it as like a prod yeah which is fucked up and now you're just like waiting to yeah and again i really want to stress we're not victim blaming no and again nothing like not even if all the worst things

we're saying here are true nothing would excuse excuse him mistreating. Yes. But you also have to take responsibility for putting yourself in situations safely and utilizing safety tools safely and properly. Yeah. And so like to, to have all this information and then to be like, how do I make sure he doesn't do it again? It's don't see him again. Don't give him the opportunity to do it again.

You guys are broken up. If, if you want to keep sleeping with this person, then you'll have to have a conversation. Be like, hey, as I said, better safety tools. Conversations about how you felt last time. Conversations about your expectations.

You can't just go and expect and hope that you're going to get the same sexual experience as you did when you were together. It's unreasonable. And you need to, as Nell said, protect yourself and take the onus and responsibility of putting yourself in sexual situations

where you're taken care of, you're safe and having the tools to get out of them if you're not. Yes. So don't see this person again if you didn't enjoy this last experience. Yeah. If you did enjoy the last experience

and you're just kind of in your head about it for any number of reasons whatever they may be then you need to reconcile that before you go in because you're just going to make it weirder yeah and worse yeah if you keep coming in with this unsure wishy-washy i don't know i do like it but i I hate it afterwards. Exactly. Attitude. Because it's going to send mixed messages to him. It's going to do damage to you. You need to be clear with yourself. You can't be like, oh, I liked it at the time. I changed my mind.

I don't like it now. Yeah. Because like, that's not safe for you. No. You know, you need to. Yeah. You need to be clear. Done.

Yeah. Yeah. That's it. We love you. We're all done for the week thank you very much for hanging out with us yeah uh i say it a lot but we know that life is crazy and busy and everyone's got a shit ton of things to do yeah like that hulk hogan thing took it out of us a lot this week we're grieving as a nation and some of us may be celebrating and we love you so thank

you please support us on patreon please support us by tweeting about us. Please support us by liking and sharing our videos. You'll find us on TikTok. Find us on everywhere. Well, most places. He's got a little brother who seems to be... Fucking loser. Engaging in some less than savory discourse online.

Maybe suggest... Maybe drop this into his iPod Nano. If you've got a friend... Is that what kids are using these days? Yes. If you've got a friend who dumped that what kids are using these days? Yes. If you've got a friend who dumped their boyfriend and then has been hooking up with them, this is a great one. This is a great episode to share. If you got to here, maybe think about it.

Maybe that's not why your friend gave it to you. Maybe it is. Think about it. Think about it. We're also doing how-to series on our Patreon. Once a month, we're releasing. You were about to say two, weren't you? I don't know what I was going to do.

We're releasing a single topic. A lot of people always ask, like, what's this episode about? As if we have ever done an episode where it's one topic. I mean, I guess we have. But now we are choosing specific things and talking about it. So if you ever like diving. Yeah. If you ever want, instead of having to search and scroll through episodes, looking for advice that might be pertinent to your current situation, we have

episodes about going on first dates, getting ready to go out. We just released one about breaking up. So if you have a topic that you would really like to see us deep dive on and have all the information accumulated in one spot, let us know. Hit us up and join the Patreon.

Thank you Josh Eagle and Harvest City for their song Paper Stars. Are you ready for some Arabic poetry? Okay. Translated. This is from 972CE Abu Hassan Alsari, and they write, this is a translation. She has an ass below a slender waist that oppresses us both. It tortures me when I think about it and tires her when she moves to stand up. Hell yeah.

It's actually not bad sex, right? It's incredible. This is, I love an oppressive ass, right? I think there is a lot of real bad in the world. And I think we'd be in a much better place if the oppressors were just big asses. They are. In a different way. I get it. It's like it tortures me. Like I can's like it tortures me. I can't get it off my

mind. She can't get it off a bench. Fantastic. I want an ass so big that it tires her out. My name is Dave Miller. And I'm Niles Spang. And we have been your Funk Buddies. you