F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 316 - Voidgina

Episode Date: November 4, 2024

We don't think John Cena was trying to be sexy when he hit Dain really hard with a sledgehammer, but maybe we just don't know what the kids are into these days.  Topics include upping your red flag game, ex-girlfriend ruining sex, second class girlfriend and the voidgina. Support the show: www.patreon.com/fbuddies

I put my trust in you, and then I'm trusting out love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love I put my trust in you, and then I'm trusting out love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love Hello friends, my name is Dave Miller. And I'm now Spain and we are your fuck buddies. We are a Dating and Sex Advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations and turn them into sexy, sticky situations. We give advice. Yeah.

On questions in the realms of sex and dating from you, from your loved ones, from your mom. Thank you to everyone who came out to our Halloween show. Yeah. It was a blast. We had some wonderful costumes. We had some cool drinks. It was a lot of fun

We got to debut our visual element. Yeah, our new kick-ass visual setup Yeah, and and had people voting in real time cause some drama. We finally settled the Edward Jacob debate. Yeah. Yeah, we did do that Crazy stuff pitbull showed up pitbull did show up, which is pretty cool Yeah, so next one be there or be it'll be Sophie's Choice again much like our game where if You choose not to come we'll eat you. She'll die It's Halloween today it is Halloween on the day that we're recording. It's not the day you're listening to it Don't freak out. You haven't been capoeira back into the past somehow Although I feel like getting time warped back to Halloween would be kind of kick

ass unless it's a spooky situation, which are getting murdered on Halloween. And then it's bad. That's fair. Yeah. Well, I guess if your time warped back and you got murdered, you're alive again. Yeah. So that's arguably much better. We've just described the plot of Happy Death Day. That's fair. And like you're only losing a few days and who knows, maybe you can make some real good stock choices in those. You're getting a weekend back. Yeah. Well, it's bad for us. It's bad for us.

But for the average folk, for most people that don't work weekends, it's great. Yeah. Um, yeah. Happy Halloween, but happy Halloween. Ready for some. Do we want to talk? We didn't really talk about our costumes. No, we didn't. I went as a starion from Baldur's Gate and I was. And I don't want to I'm going to preface this with, this is my brother's joke that I stole. I went as-

Stone Cold Steve Irwin. I went as Stone Cold Jane Austen. I should have gone Stone Cold Steve Irwin. You should have. Fuck. Just cargo shorts and that's all you really need. Yeah, and the entire outfit, but I'm just holding a crocodile. Yeah, should we do this?

Let's do it. This week we're going to talk about how to be a red flag. Ex-girlfriend ruining sex for me. He upgraded himself to first class, but not me. The nothing vagina. Oh no. This is by Prithviraj C. How to be a red flag. Women jave rejected me. I assume it's women have. Women have rejected me because I am a nice guy and don't give them the chills. They say I'm too nice to date them. Please advise me, brothers, crying emoji. Now, I don't know if you understand,

I don't think them having the chills is what you, like, you're not trying to scare them. Like, I don't think- Hey, this is the perfect question for Halloween. This isn't, you're like, you're not trying to give them spooky chills. I think they're saying that you don't, there's no electricity, there's no spark.

No tingles. No tingles, no, you know, no fire in the loins. You can. There's no spark. No tingles. No tingles. No, you know No fire in the morning for these women. That's your major. Maybe they are saying You don't scare me enough. Yeah, and that's the thing like I feel like they're they're there in the party and you know you walk in and they're like Bland and then a guy walks in covered in blood holding a knife kind of like surreptitiously And then a guy walks in covered in blood holding a knife kind of like surreptitiously Behind him as he pours something that's you know green and steaming into the punch bowl, and then he goes

And walks out of the room, and she's like whoa I got the chills, and they are multiply I mean that's working on me. I know right has the biggest bone yeah that that would that would do it for me Because I would imagine that it was that wasn't an nefarious thing. That was a fun Halloween. It was steaming. Yeah. Dry ice. Nothing dry about what he put in there. I think you need to if look, if you're looking to be a red flag, I imagine this is in seduction. He's off to a good start. Yeah, I'll say that this whole post is a red flag.

I have a feeling that you are going to get a lot of advice here. How'd you know it was seduction? Oh, I wonder. Hmm. Anytime someone says, help me brothers and a question, I assume it's either addressed to the McElroys or it's from seduction. Yeah. Just, I think what you need to do if you really want to give ladies the chills. This happened to me, like last night.

Yeah, we were coming home from dinner. We went out and we were coming home from dinner. We went out and we were walking home and we decided we would like take some side streets to see Halloween decorations because like our neighborhood, for whatever reason, actually goes pretty hard on on Halloween. So we're like, cool. So we took the opposite way to get home. And as we're walking home, there was literally a dude like walking behind us

and going, actual zombie and like dragging his legs. So you'd hear like step, step. And we're like, the fuck is happening. And so like, I thought it might've been someone in a zombie costume, like trying to get us, no, just a guy having a tough time. And it was, it was genuinely very spooky, especially every now and then it did sound like his like paint, like it sounded like it was genuinely very spooky. Especially fucked him every now and then. It did sound like his like paint, like it sounded like he was starting to run. So like I've never been so like on ready to both fight and flight at the same time.

It was very, very spooky. And yes, we did take him home and now he's our live in boyfriend. Yeah, it's a, it's a terrible situation. And he's quite nice. I met him on the way and gave me a coffee. Turns out he invented that. That's a joke for the people who came to the show. So it's interesting. So my point for that story was I think maybe if you really want to spook the ladies, give them the chills. Just, yeah, have a real strong gurgle. Yeah. But also maybe every now and then just like as you're passing them, charge them.

Oh, for sure. That's a classic. That's a classic. Like women are, they, they spook easily. And I think the, and by that, I mean men too charge anybody. It's this pretty effective. I think one of the biggest complaints that I hear from the modern woman is not enough men approaching them in a hostile fashion.

Yes. When they're in public, they're sick of it. They're sick of everyone being courteous and kind them in a hostile fashion. Yes. When they're in public. They're sick of it. They're sick of everyone being courteous and kind to them at all times. Yeah. And like they leave the house and no one's bombarding them with. Culture has gone too far. Thank you.

Yes. Now we're worried about invading personal space and worrying about being scary. Yeah. When I see a woman, I put my weaponry away and I like cross the street and I approach them in plain view During daylight hours at a normal pace and no one wants that. I Hearn to pounce we are in to charge they yearn to be pounced upon and charged at and now everyone's just like adrenaline deficiencies left right center people feel too safe, so

I know that we always say that we shouldn't but we're joking. This is it's shit that we have to say that because it does ruin jokesville for us. Yeah. But I know there's some dumb ass out there who's like I should do this or who's like cancel them. Yeah. Jokes jokes are a thing. Jokes are a thing. Don't are we done with jokes. Should we do the real advice. Let, let's do it. Let's do real advice. Cause I feel like if we continue to give ways to traumatize women, I think it skews quickly into maybe the jokes aren't good. Look, you shouldn't be a red flag

because a red flag is a bad thing. Like it is inherently a bad thing. If someone likes a thing you do that might be a red flag for someone else, it's just clearly not red flag for them or they're dumb and haven't realized it's a red flag. Red flags are bad. You shouldn't be bad. Let's just say that. Yeah. It's like saying, how do I commit a crime? Like crimes are not good. You shouldn't be committing crimes. Well, let's say if you steal from La Blas. Well, yeah. I mean, at this point in time, that's not a crime. Stealing from big

grocery stores. But it is a crime though. It is. Yes. Okay. So bad analogy. Yeah. But I'm gonna say your issue lies elsewhere. Right because if you're like you women are actively not wanting to date you. I would love to know if they're saying you're too nice. Like is that something is that feedback you have gotten from... It says I've rejected because I'm a nice guy and don't give them the chills.'s wild like did they say that that's did you miss represent like the tingle or the whatever like did you hear it it's gotta be I mean also it does give sort of English as a second language vibes maybe so I'm worried that chills is being your you're losing what chills well maybe

they watch Greece way too much yeah right and like he literally like she's got the chills. They're multiplying. She's losing control. I never do that. They're in control. They seem quite warm. And then I would say the chills are dividing. Yeah, exactly.

The chills are rapidly. So often when I see like, oh, I'm too nice, blah, blah, blah. It's either one. It's just a thing they said because they weren't into you. Yeah. Right. And it's just a kind generic like it's not blah, blah, blah. It's either one. It's just a thing they said because they weren't into you. Yeah. Right. And it's just a kind generic like it's not you. It's me or two. You are too nice because you're putting on this fake persona.

That's super off putting, which often is you agreeing to everything they say because you're like, this is how I get with someone. Or you're like, let me buy that for you. Let me do that. Yeah. And it's like those things aren't nice. They're desperate and weird. Yeah. If it's if it's a casual thing where you walking and you you open the door for someone, that's a nice. But if you're

opening the door in order to win sex points that you can catch in later, then it's bad because it's it's it's disingenuous. Anything that you're doing to get something in return. Yeah, isn't a nice gesture or to like sway someone like by acting a certain way. And the key word here is acting. You're putting it on right. If you're you know, they're like, oh, I love Kings of Leon. You're yummy, too. Oh, OK. Well, you know what I like. You packed yourself into a corner. You can't. I like ramen. Me, too. It's like if you don't have any opinions other than like everything you say, I agree with. Yes, I'm here. It's like in your mind.

Wow, you're so nice. It's that me me. It's pick me energy. It's, they can do no wrong. And you're just their little like whipping boy. Like that's usually what people mean when you're too nice. Yeah. And that's not being nice, right? That's why people are like, Oh, women hate nice guys. Well, being nice, you're being weird. There's a reason why nice guys has, has a negative connotation, right? Like women who refer to nice guys, aren't often talking about people who are nice. They're talking about the men who put on the persona of nice guy.

Put the mask on too hard. And it's coming off in this very fake, shitty, weird, uncomfortable way. And there's almost always that are being kind to them. Because the men out there that think women don't want people to be nice to them are so fucking stupid And there's usually like a turning point right from when nice guys are nice guys are nice guys are nice guys until The nice thing doesn't work because sex points are being redeemed Yeah, or you ask them out and then all of a sudden fuck you you're a bitch

I never liked you anyway, you're ugly. You're a slut your wh whatever, right? Like that's almost like every woman's experience with the nice guy usually ends like they're nice, like in quotation marks, which they can tell it's not genuine, or at the very least, it's uncomfortable. And they also know that has a often aggressive expiry date. Yeah, right. So that's generally the issue. Be genuine with people and be kind to them. And I mean, genuinely kind and nice, you're not going to have an issue. No one's going to dump you because you're not addicted to them. And if you they do, that person has severe issues that they need to work on.

And I want to avoid the concept of friendzoning. But if you like someone and then you make no sort of romantic effort or progress or attempt, yeah, then it's very easy to like get sorted into someone that, oh, you're a friend now and I don't want to cross this barrier. Yeah, for sure. And that's not being friend zoned. It's just people making boundaries for themselves within their relationships. Also, like imagine it the other way.

Imagine if I'm always hitting on you. I'm always flirting. I'm always like touching you and doing all this stuff. And then one day you try to kiss me. I'm like, well, I just want to be friends. Yeah. Right. That's like, imagine the reverse.

You're giving out like, oh, let's be friends. Let's be friends. Let's be friends. And then when they treat you like a friend, you're like, what the fuck? want to be friends. Yeah. Right. That's like, imagine the reverse. You're giving out like, Oh, let's be friends. Let's be friends. Let's be friends. And then when they treat you like a friend, you're like, what the fuck? I want to bone. Yeah. It's if you did it the other way, it's a lot more clear to be like, wait, but you were like touching me and flirting with me and doing all this shit. And then you just want to be friends. Like that's confusing. So flip it. Think about it that way and understand that if you're giving off X vibes and then all of a sudden you're like, but secretly it's why

like, yeah, yeah, you're gonna bamboozle someone. If you want to, if you find someone and by all means, I'm not saying don't have a friendship with the people that you like. That's a very good way to get into it. But if you want to date a person or you have romantic feelings for them, there is sort of a ticking clock in which you kind of have to make that known. Otherwise you're not a romantic partner. You're a friend. You've put your, you know, you put your flag in the friend camp and that's what you are to them. Yeah. And I really, really want to stress that's not being friend zoned. That's just making friends. Yes. And like I have a lot of friends that I wouldn't want to hook up with

because they're my friends. Yeah. And that's, there's nothing wrong with that. Also, friends are great to have. Yeah. So good for you. You get a new friend. It just it annoys me a lot because like that is something that happens. And the the like toxic idea of being friend zoned as a punishment is so fucking dumb. It's like not everyone you're attracted to or romantically inclined to has to entertain you as a similar option. Nor will. Yeah.

You know what I mean? A lot of them won't. And that's just life. If you want to make a move on someone, make a fucking move on someone. And if they say no, be cool. Okay, cool. Yeah.

You then make the choice of being like we've talked about before. You either make the choice of like, great. Okay. Can I stay in this friendship? We're going to be friends. Or around this person genuinely. Yeah. Or, I'm sorry, I'm a little too attracted to you to like genuinely like. Yeah. And then you genuinely move away from them and leave it be.

Yeah. Right. But I will say the biggest thing to do, I think, in terms of nice guy isms is just to be genuine. Right. If they say I love a Kingsley and you're just like, I fucking hate them. Yeah. Great. Or oh, I don't really know that much about them or whatever. Like having your own personality and backbone is attractive because then you're having a conversation with a real person, not an NPC. That's just like, yes. Yeah.

Yes. Me too. Or someone trying to play the game, figuring out like, you know, treating you like an NPC in which there's the correct option and the bad option. And the, you know, so it's like, I think it's, it's it's also when you do those things you get a better sense of compatibility yeah right like if you're like if she's every day she's like oh I'm gonna go to the gym and then I'm gonna watch a horror movie and then I'm gonna go out to a bar if you hate working out hate horror movies and don't like going out to bars then you know that this isn't gonna work right like if you nice guy it to the point where things actually work out and then you're together or something, you're going to be like, shit.

Yeah, this is bad. This sucks. We don't none of our interests mash up. And like now she's going to the bar and either I have to go to or just sit and then she's going to get come home. Yeah. And then she's going to be like, oh, you suck because you've lied and like nice guide your way into this situation that is a falsehood. Yeah. And now everything's bad. So just don't just don't. Nice guys do very well. And I mean that by genuinely nice people and like, honestly, some people have come up to me and been like, how do you do

it? Like, how do you get with these people? And like, literally, the secret is you'll be nice. And I mean that again, genuinely, like if you're a good person but you're also you that's it that's that's the advice that's fucking how you pull someone because you're being genuine but you're also kind people don't want to hang out with someone who isn't nice to them yeah I know it's gonna blow some male minds out there yep this is from rack but as has my girlfriend or ex-girlfriend ruined sex for me? So long story short, I began dating when I was 19 and I was relatively skinny. I eventually put on a lot of too much weight and ultimately became obese.

I never went to the gym and combined with my lack of self-confidence, I pretty much had had sex and slash dated any girl that I could meet or match with. Eventually during COVID, I got into lifting, put on a lot of muscle, lots of lost a lot of fat and eventually became fairly attractive, gained a lot of self-confidence. The quality of my matches and online dating improved significantly. And I began dating reasonably attractive girls. Anyhow, at the start of this year, I met a girl and we dated for three-ish months.

Now, without going into specifics, the sex was phenomenal. Based on our physical features, we just hit it off in bed. I had to end the relationship because of other issues to do with her mental health slash our long term compatibility. But I almost feel like sex is ruined for me now. I was so deeply into her physical attributes in a messed up way. She fulfilled my porn star fantasy. I enjoyed everything and anything with her. And she was the first person ever that I was able to actually finish inside. Since then, I've had sex casually with one or two people. It's weird that you're not sure. One or two. And it has been the most horrible experience of my life. If I ever come across a photo of her, I immediately get aroused and have rerun episodes of all our

sexual experiences together. And I eventually masturbate to finish off those thoughts with ease. The sex was the best of my life. And I can't think of a single awkward moment with her. It was always perfect, passionate, filled with fun and love at the time. Is this normal? I almost feel doomed. Does it say how long it is since they ended? I guess not too long because they only had sex with one or two people. Yeah.

I assume it's a fairly recent break. Yeah. Look, you're not over them. That's step one, right? You're clearly still hung up on them. Whether it is literally just their physical attributes or your porn star fantasy or whatever, it sounds like there's a lot more to it than that. You're still hung up on them.

So like obviously sex isn't going to be that great with other people. If that's what you're yearning for, pining for mentally, physically, you're not over them. You're not going to have great sex until you are. But also, like, there's people out there. You know what I mean? You will find someone who is going to rock your world in a different way or look great in a one way. You know what I mean? It can feel like that when you break up like, oh, I'm never going to find someone I'm going to be that into. I'm never going to find somebody that hot or I'm never going to find someone who fucked me in that way.

Right in there. But then you do. Yeah, you're also running the risk of the pitfall of romanticizing and, and, you know, roast into glasses of being like, oh, especially because it doesn't sound like it was a particularly bad breakup. It sounds like it might have been like exterior sort of like things happening of being like other reasons mean you can be like, oh, I don't even have to examine this because it was to do with X, but yeah, yeah. So you're you're the more you fixate on it and the more you think about it, the more

you're going to strip away all the bad things and you're going to be left with like this perfect sort of like pearl of a memory, which is unrealistic. And then you're just going to keep buffing it and it's just going to become more and more perfect and more and more shiny and more and more like incomparable. And you're then going to be like, cool. Nothing's ever going to compare to this because 90% of it is fantasy now. Yes. Right. Like you're going to have that nugget of truth, that nugget of sort of like passion and great sex. But you're going to put layer and layer and layer and like all this.

So yeah, all this stuff that, yeah, you're just going to like hold it up. There's this unrealistic expectation. Yeah. So take a minute. Like, I'm also worried that you're using like sex in these relationships as like oh look I am like as Like proof of you being attractive now, you know, I mean like you're using it for external Graduation his sex is obviously a validation thing. Yes, because when you said like oh when I would sleep with whoever I could

Yeah, it's like oh I got hot and it's like one or two people like you don't know or care. And that itself, that flippancy and that like it being unimportant to you is so bad. And so I think you also have to examine that. You also have a history of sleeping with people you're not attracted to. Yes. Right. So no wonder the sex isn't great, but. Yeah. So you finally find someone that you're like super into, super physically attracted to. Of course, the sex is going to be great. Yeah.

It's like you're you're finally having probably actual real sex like with a connection for the first time, regardless of whether it's an emotional or a physical one, like presumably both or both. Right. Right. You you finally had this connection. And now I'm guessing you've probably gone back to. Yes. Having sex with whoever or whatever. Just kind of like try to fill that void. Yeah. Which is guess what? to fill that void. Yeah. Which is guess what?

Deepening the void. Yeah. So you're you're now realizing that like sex isn't just a physical thing for you. Yes. Right. It's an important thing to know. Some people can can sort of compartmentalize and be like, sex is just a physical thing sometimes. Like I can be with people who are just hot and I'm hot and we're going to fuck and like not need anything else. Yeah. I would say it's always both, though.

I don't think there's anyone like, you know, I mean,'s always gonna be better with all the oh, I'm not saying it's on the table I'm not saying it's gonna what I'm saying is I think there are people who can like can and are happy to fuck if someone's hot And they don't maybe I just think they've suddenly realized that oh, there's more out there and instead of realizing Oh, I've unlocked hidden parts attraction both physical and emotional, they're just like, whoa, that was its own unique thing that was the woman. And now as we've talked about is diving back into unhealthy behaviors, which is making the problem worse. Yeah.

So it's like, I think what you need to reflect on is being like, hey, sex is very important to me. And I require an emotional connection to actually enjoy it. This isn't a revolutionary thought. A lot of people feel that way. So maybe start choosing quality over quantity and invest a little bit more time in getting to know someone and building a spark. Because it might not be an immediate thing. There's a lot of people who I ended up not initially being attracted to the first time I met them, but to know them sure ended up becoming like some of the sexiest people that I've come to know the more you know them

The harder they get some people the more you know them the uglier they get yeah, you know So there might be less the less attractive less attractive. Let's be a little kinder with our words I guess so take the moment go on and like actual dates and not just hookups or whatever And if you don't feel that connection don't have sex because the more you have bad sex Yes, the more reinforce the more you're gonna push up this the better. Yeah Also, just like my advice to be take some time a hundred percent one You need to get over this to you need to step away from your harmful experiences and your harmful like patterns So take some time do some, hang out with some friends, like

do things that are going to fill your tank up in other ways so that when you are out dating, you don't feel so full. What your tank, trapping you want your tank is going to be trapping about to burst so that when someone touches your tank, it just spews, raise spews. It was almost a nice sentiment. I'm sorry, everyone. I want you to like fill up your tanks that when you're dating, you don't need Just spews. Just spews. It was almost a nice sentiment. I'm sorry, everyone. It's fine. I want you to fill up your tanks so that when you're dating, you don't need to hop into

these bad habits to try to feel good about yourself. You feel good about yourself and then you're going to make good choices. You know what I mean? We've talked about that before. And I want to remind you that you can still have, we've talked about it before, where casual sex doesn't have to be cold like it's like you don't have to be like oh sex with strangers is always Emotionless and yeah and rigid and cold and I can't look at you. I can't kiss you We can't cuddle after or like I have to be dating you

Yeah, like there's there's a world in between you can have casual but emotionally fulfilling and very close relationships I would say the casual parts just you're not official some of the best sex that I've had are with people that I never actually Dated it was just sort of like we had incredible chemistry and we liked each other Yeah, incredible incredible chemistry and maybe it's not the time. Maybe it's just not what you're looking for then maybe it's not what they like you can still have those things and I Urge you to go find them because they're fucking great Yeah, and you will also realize that like sex is a ruin for you You just I think you really need to restructure how you yes approach sex and how you have sex Yeah, because it's it's very very obvious that you need an extra little of in your in your sexual encounters, and that's fine

Yeah and I will say as on top of all that, if it is more of like, oh, she was really good and bad and did X, Y, or Zed, and this person I'm with isn't, you can just tell them what you want and what you like. Yeah, communication is the best way, like the easiest way to get what you want in a sexual relationship is by talking about it

and asking for it. Yeah, and again- You will never, I won't say never because sometimes you just have that perfect chemistry. Yeah. But like you can't never I won't say never because sometimes you just have that perfect chemistry. Yeah. But like you can't expect your partner to be like, read your mind. Oh, I know exactly what you want. It's what this woman you know, I mean.

Yeah. And keep that language out of it as well. Yes. Say like, hey, the last push and I hope this. Yeah. Just be like, hey, I really like this. Could you try this? Yes. Can we do this? And again, temporary expectations.

There's one thing to be like, oh Grip it a little bit harder or like can we use a little bit more lube versus like I want to choke you You know, I mean like or be like I you know I only like it when I get deep-throated or it's like I need to hear you like choking guys I was like some people can't do that Or people don't want to don't want to and the thing is just because that's a thing you want doesn't mean it's a thing You should right but you communicate and that's a two-way street. Yep that's a thing you want doesn't mean it's a thing you should right but you communicate and that's a two-way street yep okay guy 33 year old male I'm 25 year old female seeing upgrades himself to first class but not me how can I

approach this without sounding accused story since he's the one who paid for both the flights in the first place this is my user through through I'm visiting a guy I met an event in Nevada a couple weeks ago he lives in New York it's quite a trek to get there definitely not an easy or cheap trip for me. I'm a grad student. He's a software engineer. We planned my visit around his friends' wedding in Wisconsin.

So here's where it gets a bit dicey. We leave tomorrow morning and today he went out to grab bagels for breakfast. While he was out, he reminded me to check in for a flight and then casually drops that he upgraded to first class. He claims he wanted to upgrade me too, but surprise, there's only one seat left. Now let me clear.

I'm not upset about flying economy. It's a short flight and I've never really cared about sitting in first class what's bothering me is the thought behind this whole thing feels like his comfort took priority over us spending time together the way he mentioned it so casually makes me feel sidelined like I was an afterthought in this decision I vented to my mom about it and she suggested he might be lying about there being one seat left so guess what I checked and there are four first-class seats available now I'm feeling betrayed and distrustful. How can I approach this without sounding accusatory since he's the one who paid for both the flights in the first place? Maybe I shouldn't

bring it up. Just let go. I okay. I'm glad that you checked to see if there was extra flight. It would have been driving me crazy. Because I would understand the like be like, oh, first seat, first class gets the next one. Oh, and then like, but like, you've already paid for this. I don't think that's how it works. I think you'd be like, oh, upgrade. Oh, only one available. And then you would have time before. Come on. I don't know, man.

We've do you remember our checked bag situation when we were going to fucking Gen Con where it's just like they're confusing and not well made. That's fair. But I, I think. But I mean, it's a new point because we know that she checked. There are extra seats. So I was like, that was going to be my like grace for him was like, he spent all this money upgrading and being like, oh, fuck. But it's a wild move. But it means nothing. It's a fucking wild move. It means nothing now because we know there were extra seats and he could have upgraded and did it.

It's a fucking wild move. It's strange, dude. And I think you absolutely should have this conversation. I don't think this is something you should look past this early in a relationship. No, because this is a wild move. It's a great litmus test, right? It's a great sort of test of waters of how this happens, because I think you are 100 percent in your right to be a little like, huh, like, I don't know. Again, if he's paying for all the tickets, I would be like,

all right, man, you paid for all this. But the thing is, like that, like, arguably, that doesn't matter. It does, right? It does. If it like it's ammunition in his back pocket, if he wants to turn around and say, like, you're ungrateful, and he paid for the things and blah, blah, blah. But that just makes it worse. That just means it's likely he can get away with this thing. And I mean, more for like if it was me bringing up, like I would be I would be a little weird to be like, no, I get it. Why did you pay for my ticket and not upgrade my ticket for something that I didn't want to be like?

That can't be the conversation. I think you need to be clear going into it, because as as I just said, he has that ammunition in his back pocket. It's all too easy to be like, Oh, you're a gold digger. Oh, you're fucking whatever. You just want me to pay more money. And that's like, that's not the issue. I don't upgrade me. It's fine.

But like, you got to admit, it's kind of weird. Yeah. That's why as well. I think that's the I don't think you bring up the looking up. I think it's it's important, though. I think that's if he turns shitty, I think that's ammunition in your back. Yeah. But I don't think I think if you say hey I went on the airline and I checked to see I think that sets the tone real hostile real fast. I guess. I think I'm not bringing it up it's kind of hard to be just like oh it's really weird that you did this thing because he's just gonna be like I told you I tried to get you and there was just one left oops. Yeah but I think like then you can

have the conversation of being like it's strange that like you kept doing it and blah blah blah But yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe you're hard. It's also really hostile to be like I kind of baited you because I actually checked Yeah, that's like that's a good point either can go poorly or you just go super toxic be like hey, babe I just checked they are there's actually some free. There you go. Yeah, it's dead I am as he has to upgrade you to first class, which I don't recommend. He just upgrades you first class. But like on the other aisle, he puts himself up into ultra. He puts himself in the pilot seat or he goes back down to economy. Yeah. But he's going to bring it up. It is weird. It is. It's absolutely strange.

And it is important to be like, hey, it seems like if I were, it's, it's no, really no different of being like, you booked me a bus ticket and you took a plane ticket. So it's like, it's weird to, to put us in a, like travel together, but actively. And it's like, I don't care that you're in first class. It'd be like booking two Ubers and going to the same place. Right. Right. It's like being like, okay, I'm going to call my Uber. I've also set up a kid's account to order your Uber. So we've got two of us. I'll see you there. Yeah. And then it's a strange. I wanted you in my car. But yeah, no seats.

But I want to order an Uber black. So so like, I think it is weird and just be like, look, I don't like I'm not asking you to upgrade me. I'm very grateful for what you've spent. But like, you got to see that it's kind of weird that you're like, I'll be up here. Have fun back there. Yeah. You know? And that's I think that is. And I guess if that is the yes, I think you're right.

I think you have to do be like, you know, I checked and I looked. There is extra seats. So it would be real buckwalled if it was just like four or like three people got kicked off the flight or whatever. It's like there weren't actually seats. And I think just get to the bottom and be like, look, if you really want first class, you didn't want to spend the money. You don't want to sit with me during the flight or something like that.

That's fine, I guess. Or it's something we can talk about. But like, you need to be honest and like, yeah, you need to communicate. And so far, neither of those things is true. And you need to understand that it does make me feel like a second priority or like a... Like I'm a second class citizen. Yeah. Whereas we like...

Not a first class. You've looked at your priorities and first class took the winning spot over spending time with me. Yeah, like a slightly bigger seat and some champagne. Yeah. I get it. Yeah, no, I get it. I hated M.G.O.4. My friends with benefits vagina feels like nothing sometimes.

I, a 20 year old male, have a friend with benefits relationship with this girl I met at college. She'll come over to my apartment every now and then and we'll eventually end up having sex. Sex with her is really great in general, but there's one slight issue. Sometimes when we have sex, it's like her vagina feels like nothing. It's like there's almost no friction. The only thing I can feel is really how wet she is. Before I say anything else, I would also like to say that I've tried to figure out why, but the only results talk about how I might have death grip or my brain is fried from porn. I can guarantee neither of these things are the problem since I don't masturbate often and never watch porn. I'd ask her out front about it, but I feel like me saying that I can't feel her would be a bit upsetting. I'd really like to know

why this is, and if there's anything that can be done about it, I'd also like to add that I can orgasm with other girls just fine. This is the only girl that I have trouble with. You answer in your own fucking question. She's so wet. Yeah. And I think like this can sometimes happen where it's like, if you use too much lube or someone's like really, really wet, there is obviously a lessening of sensation. Yeah. So maybe it's just this girl gets wild down there.

And that kind of is a thing that lessens, you know, friction. Yes. That is specifically what it's meant to do. Like it's it's it's a natural lubricant. She's too good at being horny. Yeah. So I understand that this is a problem. I've certainly been with women where this is kind of like a thing where they get real wet. And between that and a condom, it's like, yeah,

not the most sensation happening. You know what you do? You change positions. Yes. And the thing is there are positions that can make down there a little bit more tight. Yeah. A little bit more anything that has his legs getting crossed. Yes.

So if you're in missionary, put her legs up over your shoulders, cross them at the ankles, hold them to the side. Now you got a slightly tighter grip. You get a good view of her ass. Yeah. You're still having great missionary sex. Same thing. Doggy style. Have our legs together. Yeah. Legs together, feet crossed at the at the bottom of if they're standing.

You can do the same thing with like prone bone. Yeah. Yeah. The legs together, cross the feet as any position that you're in. That's going to bring things together a little bit. You know, really what you can do is if they're on their side as well, knees will be touching. You can also put one leg further up and one leg between yours. That will also. It's a very hard thing to explain.

So imagine they're lying on their side and sort of like like a sitting, sitting. Yeah. So that like they're in a sitting position. That when the top leg stays in the sitting position the bottom leg goes straight through your legs So you're now also there's there's you know, a little bit of friction happening on balls on leg But I've also find that that tends to to really tighten things up Yeah, that's that's a killer position for me because I'm a big-ass man and that's a great view of the butt Yeah, so do that. That's it. a sponge. So come some of the extra moisture. Yeah. Don't do that. When you're going down, I just give it, give it a blow. Hold on. I got some

paper towel. It's super absorbent. Charming. Yeah. No, don't do that. Don't put bar and objects and certainly do not tell a woman that she's too aroused for you to feel anything. Well, if you said that it wouldn't be as bad, but don't just say, I can't feel anything. Your vagina feels like nothing. Yes. Don't say that. Don't say that. I don't think I'm glad that you had the foresight, but I know there's somebody that there's so many people out there who are like, Hey, you're just so loose. Hey, baby. Your pussy feels like nothing. No, don't do that. So don't do that. So yeah, like experiment with some stuff and you'll be fine.

And look, if the sex is fun and you're having a great time, maybe you just finish with a blowjob. That's it. If you guys are at a point where you can communicate. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's like there's there's other ways to finish. And if you're having a particularly hard time, fake it. I don't I don't want to I don't want to encourage it. Guys are allowed fake it. Yeah, guys are allowed.'t want to, I don't want to encourage it. What work guys are allowed fake it.

Yeah. Guys are allowed. We've, we, we have to put up with so much guys are allowed fake it. Women. I think it's actually really bad for you when you fake it because men need to learn how to make you come. Yeah. Guys, we generally don't have that problem. If we're faking it every now and then to make our partner feel better.

That's why. And also says it, which is so tired. Sometimes you're so tired. Sometimes it's just like, I got the same situation. We're faking it to make our partners feel better. Yeah, okay It's not training you to not make us come. Yeah, we're not that point yet I feel like you could also use that argument for for ladies that they're also doing it to make their I Think a lot of the time women are doing it to keep themselves safe from like egos and and so sure and like look if you're Faking it the odd time because your partner is trying and you don't make them feel bad. That's fine

I mean just we've talked about the orgasm gap Yeah, and there's a lot of times where one woman is like I faked it for three years, but I'm dissatisfied How do I go about revealing it? That's like you can't yeah that point in time you've built a flaming house of cards You wrote up tip it over to oil land. Yeah That's what we're talking about. That's not the question. You ready one last quick one. Yeah, this is by kimchi Was it mean when the guy says they gonna bruise your ribs new guy and dating said that to me I'm not sure what that meant thinking emoji. Yeah, I'm thinking emoji, too That's not like I understand like the you know, I'm gonna rearrange your guts

I'm gonna fold you like I've heard all the but bruise your rib like that's a pretty serious injury You don't want bruised ribs that sucks Also, like there's so many things you'd have to get through that even reach the ribs is like dude If you're hitting them with the force to bruise them, what's happening to everything else? Well, that's what I'm saying. It's like the way to do that is like extra like you're just hitting the ribs. I'm sure he's listened to our charging thing. He's got to get good at it. Yeah, it's like he's just going to wail on your like lower torso.

Like that's how you bruise ribs like you're not going to bruise ribs with your dick, dude. I hope not. I don't was he I literally don't think it's possible. Was he threatening you? That's yes. It's not hitting on you. Are you just like this guy's so into me? He's like, I'll find you. I'll bruise your fucking ribs.

Yeah, if you don't leave me alone, I will bruise your ribs. Like this is a threat. This isn't a sexy, like again, I've heard. The one from Scream, like calling the ghost face, like, I'm gonna find you, I'm gonna slice you up. She's like, you're so obsessed with me. What do you think, Wednesday?

Like why? Maybe this is a threat. I would certainly be very uncomfortable and very cautious. I mean, yes, they hurt. But I think any time a dude refers to like actual physical violence. Yeah, there's kind of a like, like, there's really no difference of being like, I'm going to be a black guy. Like, like, like Bruce ribs are not a sexual thing. Yeah. Like, I would love to be a black eye, like a like, like bruised ribs are not a sexual thing.

Yeah, I like I would love to know, did they get lost in in the journey? They were like, I'm going to bruise your ribs. Shit. I think he definitely means like rearrange your guts. Like, I definitely think that's the vibe. I think that's what he that's the target he aimed at. And yeah, missed and hit the tree of threats. Yes, 100 percent. He hit the threatening tree and it's the opposite of the giving tree.

But it's not great. And I think that like, I think there are times, especially if this is text, to be like, are you sure about that? Are you sure that that's the, like, I think you could be like, yeah, I don't want my ribs bruised, but you could rearrange my guts. Like, you know what I mean? Like something playful that is like, you can leave a handprint on my ass.ised, but you could rearrange my guts like you know me like something playful that it's like You can leave a handprint on my ass like lol. That sounds like a threat Yeah, you know yeah like make it fun if you trust this person enough to know that maybe it's a fumble That's funny that could be a good moment if you think there's maybe a grain of truth truth truth Yeah

if you think that he might be so stupid that he thinks that bruising your ribs is a sexy or if there's a chance that he is threatening you. Yeah, I think it's it's block time. I guess it also depends on like what you guys were talking about beforehand. Like there might be a joke in there that's being missed. Maybe. Maybe. Right? Like I don't know what the context could be, but like. Was he dressing up a stone cold steep Jane Austen and was going to like pile drive you and bruise your ribs or something? I mean the pile driver is a neck based thing.

Shut the fuck up. You know. Even a stun. What if you compress them so much that their ribs are driven into the bottom of their body thus bruising them? Yeah. Fine. Elbow drop Dan there.

That makes more sense. Elbow drop on your ribs. Yeah. Maybe he's going to bounce you off the ropes in that dastardly fashion Put him in a torture rack. Yeah, that's that's a maybe rib based one steel fucking chair to the ribs Yeah, I know my shit, dude Let me say the funny thing the and don't come down on it right wrestling game that just came out for free on PlayStation I my my partner was watching me play it and it John see to just beat the shit out of me with a sledgehammer To my ribs and that's a good way to bruise them

That's a pretty no if see you're gonna go straight past bruising on that one If John Cena shows up to your next day and he's just got a sledgehammer I would be concerned all right cuz that man I'd let him know I'd let John Cena hit me with a sledgehammer We're gonna regret if it was if it was a like like wrestling sledgehammer hit not sure sure not a Not seen with the big big strong military man. Mm-hmm the doctor of thuganomics I would not let him hit me with a sledgehammer full force. That's fair Well, we did it. Yeah, we're here. Happy Halloween to everyone listening to this in the past We love you and a special shout out to John Cena

It's my boy for embarrassing me in a video game in front of my girlfriend. Because I was playing as a character that looked like me. Yeah. So it really was John Cena. That's why you're so aggressive. John Cena's AI looked at my face.

Cronomically hates Dane's face. Yeah. Just was like, it wasn't even a, the sledgehammer's not even in the game. Damn. It just formed like, uh, thank you to gems and pink city and prison head black sheep for providing our wonderful prizes at our live show. Thank you to everyone who came, everyone who was dressed up.

Congrats to our winners. Uh, we'll be doing another show. We'll let you know. And, uh, it's, it's always a blast. If you want to support us, please go find us on Patreon. We have a how to series. We need the money to keep the podcast running. It's free to blast. If you want to support us, please go find us on Patreon. We have a how-to series. We need the money to keep the podcast running. It's free to listen, so maybe pay us.

A little bit. We love you. Just a little bit. But yeah, if you enjoy us and you want to keep this going, that's a great way to ensure that that does. Or tell a friend, leave us a review, preferably a five-star one. And yeah, we'll see you next week. I will let you know.

Thank you, Josh Eagle-Nar. Thank you for your song, Paper Stars. Yeah next week. I will let you know. Thank you, Josh Eagle. Marcy for your song Paper Stars. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. I'm ready for some bad sex. I am. This is a a tinder exchange. My love language is physical touch.

So talking to you won't make me like you fucking will. Does that make sense? I mean, it does make sense. Crystal clear. Hey, you know what? I think that might be the best opener because it's not an opener That's unfortunate. It should have been an opener because it really does the logic is so sound Hmm, I think you get what you need to know about this man. Yeah, he's bad. He's bad. He's gonna bruise your ribs

He's a red flag. Yes, you love him. He's giving me chills and they are multiplying My name is Dave Miller and I'm Niles Payne and we've been your fuck buddies.