F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 331 - Coffee and a Long Blowjob

Episode Date: February 17, 2025

In this week's episode we come across the wildest office coffee order list we've ever seen.  Topics include settling for anything less than magnetic magic, a girlfriend that really likes to show off (everything), lurkin' in the manga section, husband's weird, secret list. Come see us perform live!  Feb. 20th, Black Sheep, Toronto.  Tickets available here! 

I put my trust in you and then I'm trusting out love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love I put my trust in you and then I'm trusting out love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love Hello friends, my name is Dave Miller And I'm Niles Payne And we're your fuck buddies We are a Sex and Dating advice podcast Where we take take your sticky sexy situations and turn them into sexy sticky situations

Damn, where'd we find them? Dan? We find them online. What do we do with them when we find them? We answer them for your ears. So what are we we're a sexist? And when do we do this when it's not in your ears, even though it's still in your ears It's we yeah, this will come up before the show We're doing a show this week. As you're listening to it, February 20th, the Thursday, uh, it's the perfect time to go out. You're missing all of the nonsense of Valentine's day. You don't, you know what I mean? Like when it's all like all the couples, everything's more expensive. You can't order what you want because it's only like fixed

menus. And usually like that fixed menu sucks. Cause's like here's a soup and a mass produced pasta that we made in the morning and it's kind of like cold and crusty. It's aged and not in a good way. Yeah. And then like now here's a store bought fucking, you know, piece of pie. Yeah.

That half of a store bought brownie. No. We don't want that. What we want is prime rib grade A wagyu A five advice from two boys on one stage and oh wait I'm getting a memo. The tickets are super cheap. They're $10. What else can you get in the city for $10? You can't do anything. Nothing anymore. You can't even get on transit for $10 You can't you can't even get one drink actually probably for $10 All right, but guess what? Hey, if you get VIP, yeah

If you have VIP guess what you're getting a drink for five dollars you get VIP, guess what? You're getting a drink for $5 because you're getting entry and you're getting a drink and you get to sit in the VIP section. Which is wherever we put you. Which is wherever we put you. We'll put you there with a smile. So February 20th, Black Sheep Cocktail Lounge, Liberty Village, Toronto, seven o'clock.

It's also a cozy PJ party. Yeah. Optional, encouraged, but not required come in your coziest But think of this I can't imagine a scenario where if I was given the option to be like, hey Do you want to put on jeans? Mm-hmm. Or would you prefer sweatpants? We can't have this conversation One of our best friends will fight us. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Yes at first I thought you met someone else because they wanted us in sweatpants, but then I realized yeah I thought you met someone else because they wanted us in sweatpants.

But then I realized, yeah, this is a joke just for us. Don't be a crazy person. Wear sweatpants instead of jeans and come to our comfy show and have a blast. Bring a blanket. If you got like a stuffy that you like, just chill with her or it. Yeah, it's going to be a blast. All right. You ready? This week we are going to talk about just learn most people don't experience sparks

or strong magnetic pole wall dating how do you learn to settle for less is my girlfriend an exhibitionist am I just supposed to go to the bookstores manga section and wait for women like some creep I don't have a fourth question specifically because well then I don't want to found a weird list from my husband what is it nice all right I love weird list it with this is by mountain meadowbrook I learned most people don't found a weird list from my husband. What is it? Nice? All right I love you weird list itch with this is by Mountain Meadow Brook I learned most people don't experience sparks are strong magnetic pole while dating those who have how do you learn to settle for less? I've only had one real I've had one real relationship where the chemistry was so strong and became addictive being around each other instantly Elevated us and was this beautiful effervescent feeling of being so attuned with someone on an emotional, chemical, and physical level. And ultimately, after some years, it went to the opposite extreme and became abusive.

After talking with people, I've since learned that most people don't experience this level of extreme magnetic pull. It can also be considered an unhealthy type of attachment, although in some cases it does work out. In others like mine, it doesn't. What's crazy for me to understand is that there are a lot of people out there who've never felt that kind of magnetic attraction. In fact, now that I've talked to more people about this, they feel like they are just compatible with their partners. They don't feel strong feelings for them. Only a few have that strong passion and even fewer have a passion that lasts. So I'm wondering something kind of radical. Maybe I'm naive, but maybe I've experienced something that I was lucky enough to get to experience that not everyone has been able to. Maybe there's someone we are more compatible with than most other

people we meet and that creates this attraction and a net pull like no other people tell me i'm wrong to wait for that to happen again cuz it's so rare that the challenge i have which not many people can understand is what you experience that everything sort of pills and comparison if you if you've experienced that same way about. Okay, I understand where you're coming from of being like, oh, I once had a whirlwind romance that was either fueled by lust, physical attraction, whatever. But I think you're glazing over a very important aspect and that is how that relationship ended. And that is usually what happens when you use jet fuel as the catalyst for a relationship. You're not allowed to talk about jet fuel on podcasts anymore.

It's, you explain your situation in the question, you answer in the question. I would much rather have a relationship with someone who I feel like confident that we are a compatible match and maybe aren't obsessed with each, or like can't go for, in fact, I don't ever want that. No, being obsessed and being like magnetic drawn and like when we're together, we're elevated and in tune. It's like those aren't good, healthy things because you should be able to be fine

without this other person to elevate you. Like that doesn't make sense. You're not like a Marvel Rivals team up or like two people pick you all of a sudden you have a joint, you know. I'm glad that they do mention that like, oh, I know that it's not like a healthy, it's not. But they don't know that. Which is describing as mental illness. Yeah. What you're describing is a mental disorder of like codependency. Yeah. is a mental disorder of like codependency and fueled with like the sort of like societal media

expectation of like when you meet the one, the world slows down and petals fall from the, and a song plays and like you fall deeply and madly in love with that person at that moment and like you are all that matters to one another. That's bad. If that happens to you, you should be very concerned. Yeah.

And this person clearly doesn't understand that even though they say it, right? They're like, oh, I understand it, but I've got this radical idea that maybe they were just the person for me. They weren't, they abused you. Yes. You know what I mean?

That's what it comes down to, right? Like you have to remember that like, you even say that like, oh, everyone I've talked to who's like, you know, experienced this, also it ended poorly. It's like, yeah, that like oh everyone I've talked to who's who's like you know experiences also it ended poorly it's like yeah that's what happens. Nine times out of ten I'm sure there's someone out there who fell madly in love with each other fiery passion and they live together to the end of the days and they died embracing each other's arm and it was a perfect love story. And then historians found them years later and called them roommates, ruining the whole thing. I'm sure that that has happened. And I'm sure someone is living that truth right now. But you again, you mention it, but then you seem to immediately reject it.

That is not the norm, nor should it be what you are striving for. You should be very happy. Like those people who are like, oh, all the happy couples I know, or just, you know, compatible. Yeah, that's what you want. I want to be able to be with someone that I can trust, that I know we are on the same wavelength about the important things in life, that I know that if something were to change in my life, and all of a sudden one of those things changed, I could have an honest and frank discussion and we would make the best choice for both of us. Like it's those are the things that I want. I also want to be lying awake in bed being like sweating and like fucking you know heroin like withdrawals of being like when can I see them

next? Like that doesn't appeal to me. I need to be elevated. I need to use my team up ability. I'm so low. Yeah like I just I also love that they, they seem to have it like, there's two options. And one is like this magnetic pull. And the other one's like, you know, I really have strong feelings for people. What are you talking about? One is like, yeah, mania.

And then there's like a whole spectrum of like, these people aren't in relationships just cause. They're not just like, oh, I guess. Like I love that you don't have the wherewithal to assume that there is another option, which is that you love each other or that you're really excited by things. You're just doing it in a rational sense. Yes.

Yes, I don't know a single person who's like, a date. It's like a two all the time. Like I just date this person. We we got up lists and we were like, well, we're compatible. And now we're sad. I wish I had a crazy elevation magnetic like no no one is like that and if they are they're choosing the wrong people or you know they're doing something wrong so we say that like there aren't couples who are unhappy you know me like of course of course and that's you know obvious the thing is you don't have this magnetic blah blah blah blah blah one as we've

said good thing right because it's it's like making decisions on pure vibes versus you know decisions like uh like logically not not at all you know what I mean um and just it feels like you're not over your ex purely based on your fucking uh like your theory if you're like well I hate them and they abused me and it's done but I have a theory that maybe they were the one it's like yeah no wonder you're not feeling shit with new people you're like, well, I hate them and they abused me and it's done, but I have a theory that maybe they were the one. It's like, yeah, no wonder you're not feeling shit with new people. You're not over them. And presumably, I don't know how the abuse manifested, whether it was physical, emotional,

whatever. Like you were probably suffering from trauma, right? Like there's a very common situation. Like I won't go as far as like saying Stockholm, because I believe you have to be like kidnapped for that. There is a tradition and a very common feeling of when you're in an abusive relationship, you feel strongly attached to that person and you feel reliant on that person. Especially if you have a magnetic elevation weird codependency. I will say, I was laughing because you said-

There's a tradition as if this is like every year, every year on the eighth of May, we have to really, really feel a lot of emotions for our abusers and love them. Yeah. But yeah, like it's, it's very common for people to get very attached and have a difficult, uh, like way of severing their emotions to someone who was terrible to them. Uh, it's why you watch like your friends go back to the same shitty X over and over and over again, like it's leave that same abusive shitty X, you know? Uh, so there's, there's a lot, I think that you should probably talk to a therapist about specifically the abuse that you unfortunately suffer, which

sucks, and I'm sorry that you had to go through that, but that seems to be like the root cause of it. For me, if I was going to guess, and again, I'm not a therapist, I'm not a professional, for me it sounds like you are trying to rationalize why you quote unquote put up with the abuse, right? And you are then trying to rationalize like, oh, you know, all these other people were never options.

Like I had to go to this person and sure they were terrible to me, but like none of those people had that magic. So of course I would go to this person. And it sounds like you're kind of like making, not an excuse, but like you're rationalizing it in your brain and being like, I made a bad decision, but of course I did because of this magic.

And this could be for numerous reasons. This could be because you want to feel better now in hindsight, looking back at me and being like, oh my God, I did this thing. Maybe you feel guilt for staying in this situation as long as you did or getting it to the point that it did. Or maybe you're trying to like, Oh, like people look down on me, but like, I'm looking down on them actually, because they never had this perfect

because you say you're lucky to have experienced that but like, doesn't seem like it, you know, so therapy for sure. Yeah, yeah, I think it's something that you need to speak to a professional about and I hope that it will steer you away from like the idea that there is this You know, we've talked about the idea of like this Hollywood romance of you know, you meet someone and it's it's just like Oh love at first sight love at first sight is insane. Yeah, like literally. Yes I mean like you can absolutely be enamored by someone there have definitely been people in my life where like the first time I saw Them I was like blown away for sure. But would I say I was in love with them? You know what they are?

Hot people. Yeah and like some people have like a gravitas, an aura about them right? I'm making a joke. Um but you just simply do not have the relevant information about a person based on a glance. Even one conversation. You know what I mean? Like and to think that is possible you are doing yourself a disservice, you're doing them a disservice and you're putting yourself at risk because you're making choices based on vibes.

Yeah, a lot of very bad people are very charismatic. And like, that is, they go hand in hand in terms of like, you know, most of the times people who are abusive in relationships or the dude who's like, when you hear about you're like that guy really sometimes it's very obvious But sometimes like when you're out like you you they're very good at making people like you or like them Yeah, and then that way it's like when you ever do say something be like oh he he did this everyone's like well We're like and then not punchy Mike Not all left hook Mike not monster truck Don't you disparage monster truck monster truck is currently the name that is on my screen in Riverside That's I do I realize that you did have that for our last guest podcasting which was not your name then either I will have my name as monster truck for as long as I podcast damn

That's Danes podcasting alter ego if you case you can't tell, he's also wearing like a trucker cap and he's smoking a cigar and yeah. I've got those wraparound sunglasses. I'm about to tell you the truth about faxing. Okay, moving on. Is my girlfriend an exhibitionist? This is from you, puzzle headed, puzzle headed, and a bunch of numbers.

We have been together for one year. Within that time period, there have been multiple instances in which my girlfriend has been naked in front of other people. It's never sexual in nature. I cannot wait to hear them. They better listen. Yeah, every single one of them, one by one. I'm dead ass. Serious, please. You know, we will never be that satisfied from a random question. It's just what happens. Anyway, we'll see what happens. It's never sexual in nature. It's usually more fun or more completely casual. The most recent occurrence involved my friend who was always talking about how hot she is. We were hanging out on our couch and she was going from the bathroom to her bedroom after

getting out of the shower. She had a towel on her head and nothing else. As soon as she came out, she went, don't look and quickly walked to her room. Of course, we both looked as it was right in front of us. Whoa, she said don't. Yeah, it's pretty clear. I know I saw everything, and I'm sure my friend did too, as he proceeded to tell me how lucky I am. I'm not sure how to deal with this. Yo, dude, you're lucky.

Did he see? I wonder, I wonder what he saw. I'm not sure how to deal with this. In reality, it doesn't bother me. And the people she's naked in front of certainly don't mind But I feel like we should probably talk about it. It's like such a wild move It's such a wild move the first comment which I feel like is gonna be our answer is then you should probably talk about it No, that's not mine I think you need to get a list, send us the list first,

because I need to know the other ones. Right now, is there any way in which this isn't crazy? This scenario, how did the scenario come to be for her leaving the shower with, because the thing is, you think, oh, maybe she didn't have a towel. If she didn't have a towel, she could call her boyfriend, right?

She does have a towel on her head though. That's exactly it. She has at least one towel. So that that's out the window. So she did this on purpose. Also, I know we joked, but the number one way to get someone to look at something is they don't look like because even if you want to say that you're going to. Yeah, yeah.

You just run and then like maybe you like you caught a glimpse of like maybe a a frolicking nipple. But like that's probably a wiggly boob yeah you know maybe some bouncing cheeks as she disappears down the hallway i also need to know like is she cutting from like the front like is it like door door and she's just going whoop or is it like oh i'm coming out and i'm walking down this whole ass hallway or even worse walking towards you down this hallway, maybe through the living room. Yeah. Towards the end up the stairs. But they're like see through the whole way.

So you've asked, is there a way that this isn't crazy? Here's my pitch. She is a sort of like early 2000s romantic comedy lead in which she is famous. She's that Jessica Alba, I believe, character who has really, really bad luck. And I believe it was good luck Chuck I think was the name of the movie Do you know I'm talking about and so she had a towel on and as she was leaving it got caught on the doorknob

Completely unraveled and she was like, oh no, and that's why she said don't look cuz she was so embarrassed It happened so sudden and the look was so bad that the towel not only got caught the thing I got caught on was the Locking mechanism so she towel not only got caught the thing that got caught on was the locking mechanism So she stepped out it got caught pulled the door and locked it So she went then goes don't look in which case the men here are of course the villains by looking by looking She asked she said she gave you a very clear Instruction I'm saying you so angry that we don't have other like examples. Yes I would love to know what else even one more even one more

Cuz again, yeah at least like okay. This is an insane situation But at least leaving the shower is a place you should be naked you would be naked in yes So it's like unless this is always how it happens in which case like that's insane as well But like a lot again, it's it's it's pretty damning as it is. But like, does she like, oh, all my clothes fell off. Sorry, guys. Like it's like, what do you mean? It's casual party. Who's just casually nude? Well, it's like, like, are you all like hanging, you're having like a hot tub night or something at like a friend's house. And then she's just like, I blah, blah, blah, or like, is she out sunbathing on the porch?

And like, you guys are like having beers or something on the deck. And she's like, well, time to like, don't want tan lines. And she's like, all of these things, in my opinion, are fine if you've had a conversation. Yes and no. Well, actually, yeah, I think you're gonna say what I've just thought of.

Yeah, if you consent and she consents, and this is a fun little exhibition game you guys have It's still not really taking into account other people's consent, you know, right? Yeah, and like I understand a lot of people are probably listening to me like hell Yeah a naked girl, but it's like if you gender swapped this situation All of a sudden not so funny that someone's just whipping their dick out. Is it? You know? Yeah, it would be a much different story if this guy was just like, you know You and your girls are having girls night watching sex in the city. Does anyone do that anymore? I don't always

And you know, he comes out being like look he's just helicoptering Hey girls, I want me to make you some cosmos and he's just got two tins shaking away But his dick is just like really Yeah, there is there is a level of like exhibitionism is is one of those things where it's like it's not necessarily a third party being actively there. Like if she was just like, oh, she does. Yeah. If she does, you know, yoga with the blinds open and you live on like the 14th floor. Sure. If someone's looking in, that's their their fucking problem unless there's a condor right across from you

Or you know you guys are having sex in your car in a parking lot like oh you might get caught Yeah but if if It is a different story when like there's someone sitting there and you guys are watching crank and all of a sudden I don't know why I thought of great. Oh, I think it was in a show We were watching the other night because you're thinking about cranking it. Cranking it, yeah. And all of a sudden, there's just a naked person in front of you.

It's like, that's uncomfortable. Yeah. No matter how hot someone is, as much as I want to see someone naked, I don't know if I'd be like, oh, you're just here now. Cool. Yeah. And even then, it's like, not everybody's going to enjoy that. Or it's just like, you cannot have a guarantee,

because you're taking someone's consent away And you're putting them in a sexually explicit situation and it's it's fucking weird and like okay So now going forward is that friend always gonna be weird around you like it doesn't yeah There's no respect for your relationship between these people also like what if that friend has a partner right now Like are they gonna be like, well, this is awkward? Do I tell my partner? Yeah, I don't really want you hanging out. Do I not tell my partner if I do,

am I now gonna cross a fight with you? And that's why you need consent and why you need to, you can't just go around whipping your dick out. I've said that too many times on this podcast. I adore you and your partner, but if every time we hung out, your partner just was walked out naked,

I would be very uncomfortable and reluctant to like hang out at your house anymore. Just being like, I don't. Okay, it would be confusing and weird. We would have to talk about it. And then me and my partner would have to have a talk about it. Yeah, bizarre. Like when I've had people over, I don't even feel particularly comfortable like leaving from the bathroom and going into my room like with a towel on?

Because there's still an element of like, ooh. So I'll just bring clothes in because that's polite to do. Yes, yeah. Change in the bathroom and you have, anytime I stay anywhere, that's what I do. So I think, yes, talk to your partner. Again, I need this list. I need one more at least.

But be like, hey, why'd you do that? You had a towel for your hair, right? Like do you think this is like a fun sexy thing because one you probably should talk to me about that and two even if we Are both on the same page our friends simply cannot be so I'm trying to see if he gives any more examples in the question, but So far nothing. I want you to comment using the fuck buddies read it and just be like yo I need more lists. Please tell us.

Actually, we can't because we're banned from that sub. Well, do it your personal one. Yeah, so have a conversation. You can't just let it go. And even if you want to, you shouldn't because other people shouldn't be part of this. And if you want to have fun with exhibitionism, Dane listed some great ways to do it earlier. Take out the, like do it with the risk of being seen, but a very carefully curated risk where there really isn't.

And that's the thrill as opposed to being like, I just flashed a child. Yeah. Does that might happen? Go to a sex club. If you want, like go to a, go to our clothing optional beach, right? Like places where the nudity is expected

and not thrust upon people. Like if you go to a clothing optional beach, that? Like in places where the nudity is expected and not thrust upon people. Like if you go to a clothing optional beach, that's fine. No one's going there and being like, whoa, naked bodies. They know what they're going. They're going there and they know what to expect. Yeah. Then again, don't also just fuck in the middle of the naked, the nude beach. That's well, yes. Yeah. Arc launch. All right. This is by Rocket Sneaker.

Am I seriously supposed to go to the book store's manga section and wait for a girl to ask out like some creep? Yeah. This is from... One of the many advice I often see on Reddit and even people IRL is something similar. I don't know why, but just being like even people IRL is a very powerful question about manga phrasing I just love it for someone like me who's super alone and very bad at talking to girls just meet someone organically while you're out in the real world and for nerds like me that could be

some place like maybe the manga section of the bookstore and yeah I can see a scenario I'm just innocently out browsing a manga to purchase and I bump into a cute girl who's into the same series as me and we get to talking and the rest is history That seems more like a story in a romance novel or romance manga. Lol. This is real life If I go to the bookstore It's not going to be because I'm organically looking for new manga I'm gonna be there in the hopes I can talk to a cute girl feels disingenuous like my predator in a hunting ground Stalking its prey feels wrong feels creepy a cute girl browsing manga probably doesn't want to be bothered anyway.

Shouldn't she be allowed to exist in a nerd space without being hit on? And let's be honest, if she's cute and in a nerd space, she's probably been hit on a million times already. It just feels right to let her be and go about her day and enjoy a place where she can indulge in her hobbies without being harassed. Like, she has the right to exist in public without being bothered like that, right? I don't know, why is this such common advice given to lonely people like me? You know what? I appreciate that he is, he's got the wherewithal to be like, she should be allowed to go to the manga section without being, you know, jumped on

because lonely nerds don't know how to approach people. Agreed. I like that. Agreed. That's, that's, that's a great start to what I think will be a very troublesome answer. The problem with meeting someone organically is the second you think about it, it's done. Right? The second you go out to, and we talk about it in our going out Patreon, the idea of going out and with the effort of, or the hopes of meeting someone meeting someone It's like the second you make that goal for yourself the second you're like

I'm gonna go to the grocery store and find a cute girl and then I'll talk to her and then I'll ask her out And it's like the second you start doing that you're fucked because then you start like you you start constructing like the the scenarios, right? Like like we're sure having script, but no one else is on board. You're pretty much just setting yourself up for disappointment. Yeah. And the other problem is if you're not a confident person or if you're shy or if you're awkward, you're then going to be fumbling for that perfect idea of what you just thought of. And so you're going to go and you're going to have all these rehearsed lines. You're going to be very suave.

You're going to be very cute. You're going to be very innocent, whatever, in your brain. And then when you say something, you're gonna sound like a fucking lunatic. And people are just like- If you say anything at all, because you're probably gonna be standing there going, oh, okay, like the first minute or two is gonna be weird,

and then after that you're gonna be like, oh, I've been here for hours. Like I can't naturally stand here for longer than I've done, it already felt like an eternity, and unless you got incredibly lucky. You're going to start to panic. You're like, okay, now I'm what do I do stand here? Do I lean?

Do I walk? Like why is that guy looking at me? I've just been pacing the manga section for, you know, like, yeah. So my advice here, it's not bad advice what you were given, right? And you have to take it in two ways. One is if you are naturally at the manga place and there is naturally a girl there. Like, again, you're not going to do it. You're just there because that's what you do.

And they're there. Maybe don't be afraid to try to strike up a conversation. You know what I mean? And you got to do this harmlessly. You got to just be like, oh, shit, like, I really like that one or whatever. Right. Don't be like, hey, girl, would you fall out of the hot tower and hit every floor on the way down? Like no, that's not it. Although I think that is actually it.

That one specifically is it, but it is mine. If you actually are part of our Patreon, I'll allow you to use it. It's true, you have to license it. That's what our Patreon tiers are. Yeah, we've got a specific tier. Licensing Niles' incredible lines. Yeah, yeah.

Hey, it's never not worked for me. Hey, it's never not worked for me. Literally. It's never not worked for me, because I've never used it. But anyway, so that's it. So part one or section one or one direction of this is to just be willing to, when it does happen naturally, like, you know, don't get weird or terrified or whatever.

Take that chance, but do it in a respectful, unconfident, cool way. Part two is they don't mean literally go stand in a bookstore waiting to pounce on people. They mean do more things and be out there. So a very reasonable way to do this would be to go to an anime convention, for example. Because all of a sudden you've taken the thing you love and you've done it in a place where it's social and people are There to talk and to hang out and there's like nights out and there's classes and there's like cosplay events and there's whatever You know me some cool

Podcasters on the bottom floor, you know, I mean like that's where we are. Yeah, that's where the community zone is and like fan I don't comic-con and stuff. Yeah So like that's a social situation where you're gonna be around fucking buckets of people who support what you do or like what the same things you're liking. That was a hard sentence for some reason. And it's not gonna be weird when you talk to them once you are not weird, right? And then there's social events, there's nights out, there's blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then all these are good places for you to talk to people and you have a common interest, but you're not lying in wait and being weird because presumably you're also at this thing to enjoy yourself and they are at this thing which is inherently a social event.

So like boom, all of a sudden you're in a place that works for all of this. Yeah. Almost every convention has like a like anime rave or K-pop rave or you know, like there's almost always a like nightlife element to it. If you like go to the, if you're in Toronto, go to the Pink City parties. They always do like nerd themed pink, like, you know, after parties for all the conventions and stuff. They're great. Everyone's chill. Everyone is, is kind of like, I've never seen a more mingley vibe in, in like a nerd sphere. It's actually quite impressive, but like just a small anecdote

and something hopefully that'll ease your concerns or your, you know, I don't know what I'm looking for. Yeah, it's like the anime scene is horny as hell. There used to be a convention. I think it still exists. It's called Anime North. I used to work at a bar up that where it was being held and they had to like distribute and be like, please stop fucking so much.

And if you are going to please use protection because they were like just widespread STI. Every year there was just like outbreaks because everyone was like staying in hotels. So like people were just like moving rooms to rooms to rooms and just like people, you know, the nerd community fucks. Well people come by our booth and they snag some condoms and they're like yeah, use them. Use them tonight. So you know, like go to these events and like, and, you know, as as always, like if you have a hard time speaking with people, then like go take classes, take an improv class,

take a you know, a whatever class like you can't just expect that like like using the the excuse of being like I'm shy and awkward and can't talk to people. You can't. That's an excuse. Yeah, it's a muscle. It's a skill like you can work it like anything. You know what I mean? It's like people don't just go, I'm bad at running, so I just can't. You could start running unless, again,

there's something that prevents you from doing so. You know what I mean. We're given examples. We're not being fucking specific. Don't come at me in the comments. You can build that muscle by taking improv classes, et cetera. And also, the more social events you do, especially if you're not just going to like pounce on women, the more you're going to exercise that muscle and be more social. Right. And like, it's not just conventions either. Like, again, Pink City, they do events throughout the year. We're not sponsored by them. Yeah. No. But like, we do love, we do love fine gentlemen gentlemen who run it. And there's other things like if you like you can I'm sure find a you know maybe like a manga like fucking book club or like you know a fencing class or rock climbing.

A lot of anime people like rock climbing you know what I mean? Like go just you need to be out of the house. Isn't there a rock climbing? There's one called sport climbing girls and it's so funny because it's a really horny, like, horny anime, but everyone's so angry because they portray rock climbing really not faithfully, and it's very funny. So there you go, that's your end.

Just do stuff is basically, you know, there isn't a world where it's like I'm at home or I'm just lurking in the bookstore. There's a fucking plethora of options other than that. And focus. I think this is something that a lot of people focus on. Son. But also focus on building friendships as well. If your whole thing is like, oh, I'm shy, I'm awkward, I'm nerdy, I'm weird. Great. Focus on building. Do you have friends? Because if you

have friends, great start. Go out and have, go to trivia night or something. And like, don't go out again, we talked about this in the deep dive, don't go out with the idea of being like, we're gonna hit on girls, and we're gonna get girls, we're gonna get laid, we're gonna blow up. No, just go out and have a good time. And the more you do that, the more you interact with one another, the more you and then like, you know, find ways to like have small conversations, like very in and out conversations with strangers. And not just attractive women, but dudes, people you're not attracted to, like whoever, just anyone around,

and have those conversations, while you're waiting for a drink, two minutes back and forth, how's your night going? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All right, great, have a good night. And not looking for anything, but just flexing that muscle,

getting used to having quick conversations And I promise you you're gonna get more confident I promise you you're gonna feel more comfortable in your skin You're gonna start feeling like oh this conversation that I just had is something that I could have with an attractive girl Because it's so just normal. It's just a normal conversation and have people there's no true There's no special sauce. You're just having a chat with somebody You know like aside from eventually getting a little winky and flirty There's no trick. There's no special sauce. You're just having a chat with somebody, you know Like aside from eventually getting a little winky and flirty

You're like you're just having a fucking conversation the same way you are with anybody else Because I will say the gate all horny and flirty and that's gonna be off putting and weird So you're you're not doing anything special You're just chatting and then if they like you and you like them you see where it goes I will say there's a part of the question where he was like, oh, I could come off like innocent and whatever. Don't try to come off as anything. Yes. Because I promise you it's going to come off fucking weird, right? Be yourself. And if you're an innocent person, that'll come across. But if you're like trying to like play into a character or like a projection of yourself Like it's so phony. It's so weird. It's gonna come off as like probably if you're going for the innocent angle

It's probably gonna come off as like juvenile or childish like it's gonna be weird And I've had people do that to me like at the bar or just out and about like where people have like put on like a persona almost One of the most off-putting things the one I get all the time at the bar is like the big man like I on like a persona almost. Yeah, it's not one of the most off putting things. And the one I get all the time at the bar is like the big man. Like I'm like, hey, bro, what's up? How's you? What's your name? What's it like? And you're just like none of this. You're so fake right now.

Yeah, you're I'm not just like, yeah, cool. And it's like you just wait until that person either stops what they're doing or fucks off because it's not going to be a good interaction if neither of those things happen. I don't want to talk to like a facsimile of a person or like a proxy person or or like a character right like I'm not in a fucking scene right now so like do just sure be be the big cool guy but like anyone who who has any sort of intuition about people is gonna see it as fucking fake and phony and like just dial out.

Like I just glaze over, I'm just like, okay, I'm just gonna go through the motions for the point where you leave me alone. Yeah, yeah, so you got this, you got this. You got it. Do you want me to hit you with the last one? He, yeah, fuck it, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, this is by T our a wasabi is lap wasabi slap

Sorry me female 32 found a weird list of my husband male 43. Oh, what is this? I know shouldn't have gone through his laptop, but something felt off for a newly married couple. We enjoy our sex life I'm also much younger than them So I don't want to believe this in an escort service review for himself to have a feeling it is I found a list in his mail It includes names like Amelia Ari Ari, Katie, Camille, Nadia, etc. Followed by words like red velvet, cupcake, shortcake, croissant, chai, etc. There are also random letters and numbers like T, B, F, S with different values next to them. Some names have notes next to

them like Leb, Sis, or Long BJ. There's also a line saying Whiskey No Go. I also found a link to what looks like a scheduling page So I clicked on it said online scheduling is not currently available. Please contact the business directly I tried searching for the URL online, but nothing came up What's weird is he emailed this information to himself with the subject line PW password I checked and noticed he is constantly sending himself emails like this But only when we are apart either when I'm traveling or he is what could this mean? It's been bothering I mean at first I was like, okay

Like this could be any sort of like this could be a fucking office like t croissant like all that shit like this But if you do have the word long BJ in there I think that kind of is pretty damning evidence of like it would be a hard Cell for me to believe that that was it was it was I was at karaoke and one of the guys did a long Bon Jovi. Yeah, yeah. I wanna get like... I thought this was... I thought this was that thing that tells you which song is playing, so I typed in long Bon Jovi, but it wouldn't tell me.

Cause I don't want... Everyone calls Bon Jovi BJ. They do. Everyone calls him that. Yeah. What else would you call him? What else? That's his name? Ojo.

Come on. Yeah, come on. Bon Jon? Come on. Come on. Like... It's his Ojo. Come on. Yeah, come on. Bon John. It's this sucks and this is going to be a very shitty conversation that you have with your partner because like the

Like intrusion of privacy of like looking through someone's emails. It's not great. It's never it's never a good look But unfortunately, you did discover some shady secrets. And there's a level of it, of like, you're not going to have a normal relationship with this person until you get an answer. Yeah, for sure. Because the alternative is like, you just swallow it and you never talk about it and it haunts you forever. Or you keep looking at his emails and keep getting weirder shit and keep deep diving more all while being spiral more weird and like touchy and like it's you're not going to be able to be chill.

So like your relationship is going to suffer that entire time. You know, so you just it's it's the difference between like ripping the bandaid off or letting the wound fester. And it's like, sure, ripping the bandaid off is going to suck and it's going to hurt. And you might be like, now that you see the wound,ester and it's like sure ripping the bandaid off is gonna suck and it's gonna hurt and you might be like now that you see the wound you're like oh it's still festering great but at least you'll be able to like treat it as opposed to like you gotta find out sooner rather than later yeah that's the thing it's like the only all you you know you get the the proper antibiotics to treat it which might be leaving the guy who's cheating on you every time you guys leave town. Yeah, and that's the thing.

It's like, look, yes, you fucked up by doing the, like you did a bad thing by evading their privacy. Whatever, you just gotta be like, look, I did this thing. It was shitty of me, I'm sorry. However, found this thing. What's along, BJ, explain, you know? And then when he tells you it's actually the song, Always, you say, wait, you should know that song.

Yeah, actually. And then the lies come falling down. Well, what you need to do, you should know that song. And then the lies come falling down. Well, what you need to do is you need to make a catalog list of every Bon Jovi song and the duration, right? Because if he says, if he says always, and then Sasha's talking about like better roses, but better roses is actually longer than always, then you've got them dead to fucking rights.

I think you could legally kill him at that point. Yeah, yeah. Now the thing is, what if it's one of those situations where you're trying to come up with a word I think you could legally kill him at that. Yeah. Yeah. Now, the thing is, what if it's one of those situations where, you know, and you're you're trying to come up with a word and you're like, no, the thing, the like the food, the food maker and you're like, the oven. Maybe he was like, oh, is that song? What is it? But it was always because always is pretty always.

Yeah. Kind of like forever. You know? Yeah. It's maybe that's it. It's yeah. You just got to like and I think you do have to have like, you got to have that list. Hopefully you have a that's it. It's yeah. You just got to like and I think you do have to have like you got to have that list. Hopefully you have a copy of it. And can you explain this to me printed off? Send it to yourself like you need to have it so that like they don't do the gaslighting thing of deleting it or like he starts being like, well, what about it? And you're like, well, it said something like this. What do you mean something like, you know, I mean, like don't get bogged down in that kind of struggle.

You need to have a copy. So you can be like this long BJ next to Nadia. You need to like hand it and be like, hey, like I found this. It looks us as hell. I think we can all agree. Please explain to me what this is. Right. I'd be like, what are you scheduling? Yeah. What's the site scheduling for? Like, why is it happening every time I leave? Yeah. Yeah.

And like, ask the questions. Don't just like if he's like, I don't want to talk about this, then you need to like, don't do the thing of being like, well, I asked him about it and he didn't want to talk about it. Yes. Where do I go? You're not. I say, look, like I am very hurt and upset. I'm like thinking the worst right now.

So like we need to talk about this or like I can't be in this relationship because at that point, if he's unwilling to assuage whatever you're feeling, either one it's worse or as bad as you're feeling, either one, it's worse or as bad as you're thinking, or he doesn't fucking care about you. Yeah, and you're just giving him time to come up with ideas of what all this shit means. Frantically throw out all the croissants he's bought

when you were gone, just so you think that he's cheating on you. It's a much better option. So it's, you know, there's always that like shitty like, fuck, I did find this. Like, it's how I feel, like I'm not proud of it, but it's how I found out like a partner was unfaithful to me. So, you know, it is what it is, but like, you have to,

you gotta like make the call, you have to make the choice. And that's the thing is like, when you do this, just own up that you did a bad thing because if like if they've done a worse thing, it doesn't fucking matter. Who cares if they're like, I cheat on you, but you invaded my privacy. You say, I don't care. Fuck you. Bye. Right. And if you haven't, then you at least have to be upfront and be like, OK, look,

it sucks. I did this. I'm sorry. And like be genuine in your apology, because again, it isn't a good thing to do. And on top of that, like if there is a reason, like you said, things aren't the best lately or whatever, that's an issue you also need to address then, right? Yeah. But you know you gotta bring this up. There's no other way.

Yeah, that's gonna do it. Let's be optimistic. Maybe he just knows of a fucking sick bakery. Yeah, maybe he's just like, yeah, maybe there's like a, it's kinda like an underground bakery, right? And he's like figuring out what the secret menu is. Well, so there was, there is a place in Toronto. It's an underground bagel bakery

where they make fresh bagels. They've like, I think it might be called like bagel drops or something, because it's like, it's infrequent. The guy's like a sous chef for this one really famous place, but he every now and then has this like backyard like bagel business where he'll just do batches. And it's like, you got to like schedule your pickup, you got to

do this shit. And that's like, if you're there, you're there. If not, like they're gone. And like, they're not like a regular thing. It'll just be like February 7. That's your like next bagel drop. And like people go fucking crazy for it. Right. And there's some pretty weird bagels where they'll be like stuffed with X or Y or Z. I don't know. Yeah, maybe it's just like a thing where it's just like, you know, Nadia, you go and be like, hey, is Nadia there?

And that's who you order a croissant. You know, like maybe she gives you a long blow job and she sucks your dick for a very long time. Yeah. And like you go to pick up your your fucking bagels and they're like, are you drunk? And he's like, shit, whiskey, no go. Whiskey, no go. Maybe that was his like reminder to himself be like hey you got

Real fucked up. I could not perform you wasted Hundreds if not thousands of dollars the best would be like if that did happen like why would you need to make that note? to yourself like God hold on. I got a schedule this guy remember. What was it? Oh, yeah, I got so drunk and wasted thousands of dollars That wasn't good like maybe this is like a memento situation where like he's got really bad short-term memory And this is like the clues that he's making for himself. Hold on. Has he forgotten your name? Oh, he's like, oh, it's Nadia or it's Camilla shit. It's something. Okay, I'll do a list of things I know about her long blowjobs. No, it's not. Nah, it's not making anything. She likes croissants.

Fuck, still not there. Yeah, she hates whiskey. Do not give her whiskey. Whiskey is a no go. Maybe in the last couple of weeks, did he say whiskey? And you were like, what, you want some? And he was like, whiskey, no go.

It's not, that's not it. Her name is not whiskey. Thank you very much, friends. We love doing this. We do. And we're saluting right now. We are. Which is we're going to sell you at the show on the 20th because you're going to be there.

We'll salute you. If you come to the show, we will salute you. Yeah. But you got to tell us that you came because of this, because everyone else. It's cool that they're coming. But like this is a deal we don't get. You right now. They don't get the salute.

Once again, we have a live show coming up February 20th at the Black Sheep. Seven PM tickets are available at our site. F buddies podcast dot com slash live, I think. I'm just pointing those. Maybe just go f buddies podcast dot com and click on the live show. It'll take you there. I don't know where the also available. So I'm just going to point everywhere. Great.

Also available on our social media. So all you do is like find us there and click our legs. There's no way you can't find this. I would be shocked if you could not find the tickets to this show. And if you find it hard, sometimes just email a dodgy list of like instructions. Fuck buddies. Got a schedule. Cheap VIP. There you could actually get some trouble listing those. We would love to see you.

Yeah, we would love for you to be there and bring your friends We're gonna be playing some games. We have some prizes. It's gonna be a lot of fun It's a good time and we want good people there and I'm only guessing right now, but I think you're one of them All right, you ready for some bad sex right now. Thank you Josh Eagle in the harvest cities for their song paper stars and This is a comment or a post I saw on Twitter. I love your aisles. I told Costco. Your volume. I growled, digging my fists into the large groceries. Your everything. Such a good member.

Costco whimpered as I eased in my big screen TV. What about Target? Target can watch. I groaned and I filled my cart to the hilt. I'm by bad sex writing I mean incredible. That's the best we've ever had on this show I think. Yeah. Good job. My name is Dave Miller. And I'm Niles'm not Spain and we've been your fuck buddies. Hoorah. Hoorah