F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 334 - Rolex Madness

Episode Date: March 10, 2025

Men are throwing themselves into traffic, smashing windows with their faces, tearing out their own hair.  It can only be one thing: ROLEX MADNESS.  Topics include my husband's AI girlfriend, wearing a Rolex on a date, financial deceit, overthinking for overthinking's sake.

I put my trust in you, and I'm trusting out love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love I put my trust in you, and I'm trusting out love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love Hello friends, my name is Dane Miller And I'm Niles Payne, and we're your fuck buddies We are a Dating and Sex Advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations and turn them into sexy, sticky situations.

Simply put, we answer sex and dating advice questions on this podcast every week. And you know what? We love doing it because of you. And you can send in your questions whenever you want. Send them right to us or come right up to us at Toronto Comic Con and tell us there. Yeah, we'll be there Friday and Saturday. Friday, Saturday, March 14th and 15th. Come by, grab a condom, say hello, shower us in money if you want.

We like that. I thought you were just going to say shower, but hey, it is a convention, perhaps. You can put a little extra effort into personal hygiene, being around all those people. You can get warm down there. So I shower prior because, you know, you don't want to be those stinky podcasters. I shower after to get all the nerd stink off me. It's all from me. Yeah. Yeah. But this week, we're going to talk about discovered

my husband's AI conversation with my sister. Is it bad to wear a Rolex on a date? Is it bad to wear a Rolex on a date? Got it bad to wear a Rolex on a date? Got you. I got there first, idiot. I'm going to do it first now instead of you. No, my real other question is found out my girlfriend's been lying to me about her finances. I have ahead of the third date and now I can't stop overthinking. Oh, this is my usual towel. 9762. This is the first time I'm doing something like this. The issue is I normally talk to my sister about these sorts of things. I'm currently pregnant under our other child is only two.

I have discovered that my husband has generated an AI chat where he is cheating on me with my sister in it. He talks about the dress she wore at our wedding and how he was glad I picked a dress that hugged her body so much. The AI chats back flirting and he flirts with it and he's given it her name. Yeah, we got that. They've spoke about me and me being at work. I looked at the time that he's done it and he's done it while I've been at work. I know he's always been attracted to my sister. I'm now just worried on how his is using that. I'm also worried that he's doing that instead of finding someone to

cheat on me with. It's weird. AI isn't a real person. Yeah, it feels like a betrayal. Suppose I'm just asking, is it cheating? Do I bring it up to him? But if I do, I'll have to admit I was looking at his phone without him knowing, which I do, I'll have to admit I was looking at his phone without him knowing, which I only did because my pregnant brain is going crazy. Also more information. I found out there are more than just AI chat, there are others, but he's also spending

between one and eight hours a day on the website talking to AI people and flirting with AI people. Looks like he's even doing it when he's at work and when I'm asleep. Yikes, big, big yikes. This, you know, it sucks when like the invasion of privacy of like going through someone's laptop or phone or whatever, because there's like a little annoying feeling inside you. It's when you're right or pregnant brain going crazy or,

or crazy pregnant brain. Cause like when you're right, like if you're wrong, it still sucks that you invaded someone's privacy and went through their things. But if there's nothing to be found, then you, then you don't really have to talk about it. Right? Sure. Again, I'm saying I'm, I'm, I want to preface this with saying like, don't go through people's stuff bad. But he's also saying you can lie, which is good. But what I'm saying is like, if you, if you like feel like, oh like oh they've they've got a secret and they are cheating on

Me and then you open the phone and then they are cheating on you You do have to kind of be like hey in order to address your shitty thing. I've also I've done But the good thing is it doesn't fucking matter at that point because you're like you've spent eight hours flirting with my fake sister So my little privacy invasion next to that and the best thing is you know there was a day eight hours a day is I don't do anything for eight hours a day apart from maybe breathe and live I hope you're doing more than breathing it hours a day I'm saying those are the only things I do for eight hours straight yeah I do continue it I do at most hours actually it's this is this is a new kind of thing because you know

that he's gonna be like well it's not cheating I'm not doing anything there's no other person here. And like is it cheating? No. Does it? I think this is where we get into the weird territory of AI in general. I think this is cheating. I would consider this cheating. I don't think it's cheating. I do think it's fucked up. You know what I mean? Like I don't think it's cheating. I do think it's fucked up. You know what I mean? Like I don't think it has to be cheating for it to be a problem or for it to be whatever.

For sure. But in my opinion, I would consider this cheating on your partner. Because there is like, you've not only, like even if they hadn't attached a real persona, I think that, but like the attachment of like putting a real persona and like draping it over AI and then engaging in a emotional and sexual like activities with even if it is AI,

he's imagining and pretending that this is her sister, which bad pretending this to be like a coworker or a friend or whatever, but to imagine it as your wife's like family member and sister, who she's obviously very close with is even further bad Like the bad scale just sort of like it's like a cartoon when that thermometer hits the top and it keeps going Yeah, and like to even like to hammer that home It's like what could be more demeaning than like not only doing all this but then to be remarking specifically like oh You were so hot at our wedding It's like wow the day you were marrying this at our wedding. It's like, wow.

The day you were marrying this poor woman, you were just perving on her sister. It's like, that's just insult to injury right there. Yeah. However, you should still be on your wedding day. Like you should be like solely focused on, on hopefully the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. You know what I mean? Like that, the blinders should be on and be like, there's this radiant beauty I can't wait to,

not being like, hey, wife, get the fuck out of the way. I'll go with your sister. And seeing that, how is that not gonna make you feel like everything is devalued, right? Like your wedding day, your wedding sins. I would fucking hate that. And also, every time he's ever spent any second with your sister, been like,

Oh, every Christmas, every Thanksgiving, every whatever we've spent with my family, you've just been like rock hard for my sister and like, couldn't care less about anything. Also like maybe scary levels of obsession because like one hour a day faking this relationship with your sister is batshit. Eight? That's what it comes down to, right? This guy has a problem. Yeah, that we can agree on.

And it's not just specifically the sister because she said that there's like multiple AI chatbots that he's having an affair with essentially. I really wanna know the designations of everyone in his AI harem, you know what I mean? Is it, you know. Is there a bitchy one? Yeah, right?

Like the personality? Maybe. Oh, sure, yeah. Like treats him like shit? Is there one that is really subservient? Is there one, is the sister the taboo? See, for me, I was just wondering, is, and it might soften the blow of the

sister thing if it was just everyone in his life. Like, is it just like every person, which again, its own issue, but it might be a little better if he's not fixated solely on your sister. Like, maybe that's why he spends eight hours a day, because he has to register every single person he meets as an AI fuckbot, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like there's something not right with this guy. No.

And that's not to say that like if he was single and had AI chatbots that he was flirting and sexing with, I think that's fine. I think you cross a line when you- No, AI is unethical regardless. Like if you have something like, like we had the AI, like quotation marks, chatbot, like a fuckbot or what was it called? Brianna Raider's thing. Sex bot?

It was sex bot, right? Yeah, so sex bot wasn't like generative AI where it scraped your shit as far as I'm aware. That's true. You know, so if it's like a ethically created AI thing, it would still be an issue in this case because he's like gone into like addiction territory, or like I can't imagine it wouldn't be affecting

his life if you're doing it eight fucking hours a day. Right. At that point you're not living because you're doing this. Right. But if it was a ethically trained or constructed like chat simulator that he was doing briefly whatever you know what I mean. But that's not what this is because one he's promoting unethical technology and you know it's scraping people's shit to do this. So already terrible. Two, you're doing it in such a betraying way to your wife. Three, you're wasting your life and that must be having effects on your relationship,

whether it be the fact that you're probably not working if you're doing it at work, you're probably not sleeping if you're doing it when she's asleep. You can't be invested in your relationship when you're putting a third of your life currently into this Yeah, and the there's I mean like there's so much wrong with this I think as as his wife and his partner you need to you swallow the bill of being like look I went through your phone. I know it sucks deal with it. There's you there's no way to not do that You know, they're like you can't like how the fuck are you gonna get up tomorrow and be like, well, oh, he left the room?

He's gonna go sext my sister, AI. Just anytime he's on his phone, you're gonna be like, oh, you sexting my weird robot sister? Yeah. And then, and you need to sort of like lay it down and be like, look, I know what you've done with this chat bot with my sister. And I also know that you have several others and I know how much time you're spending on

it. And that one is disrespectful to me, very concerning to me, the, both the amount of time that you're putting into this and also the fact that you've attached my sister to a sexual fantasy that you're actively living out and role playing for the majority of your day. Excessive amounts of time. And that's, I think for you, like when you come to have this conversation, I think it is probably worth compartmentalizing each issue separately

so you can actually approach this because it's an overwhelming amount of shit. You know what I mean? The fact that he's doing it for so long, it's its own separate issue. You know what I mean? The fact that he's doing it is a pretty bad issue, but then the sister takes it further. It's like there's so many different parts that like there's no harm in separating them before you have this chat so you can really structure where and why you're annoyed. Because it would be so easy to get into this conversation, just get lost in like the

torrent of shit. And I'm sure he'll be coming at you with the stupidest worst excuses. Hey guys, the future, what are you talking about? Oh yeah. Give him shit for AI as well. It's unethical. It's a, this is one of those things where I think that like, if he's not willing to go to therapy, like, I don't think this is something that's going to cut out cold turkey, right?

Like, I don't think someone could just be like, oh yeah, it's not a big deal. I'll stop doing it. I'm really sorry. I think that like someone this lost in the sauce. Hmm. He is the sauce at this point. Yeah. The man is made of sauce. I think at this point, like requires him to at least go to like one session to unpack the situation and like- For sure.

Get a diagnosis. Probably couples counseling too, because you're going to need to heal from this too. Like I don't think you're going to very easily get the fact that he's that obsessed with your sister out of your brain. Yeah. You might say to yourself that you can, but I don't think you can, girl. I would wager a lot of money

that the relationship doesn't last past the conversation in which you have with him, because something tells me this dude, as Nell said, is gonna have the worst excuses the Turn it around on you. I bet it's gonna be very defensive reaction this is like what better time to get incredibly defensive than when you're in a Indefendable position, you know, I mean like there's yeah, there's very few routes out of this aside from freaking the shit out I guess which you know yeah that's that's kind of my thing is like I really don't think this guy is going to be like

yeah no this is fucked up and you're right I'm really sorry that that might happen there is a chance of that if he does do we trust it do we try I don't know and I think the worst thing is he has a he has a microphone in one ear and I hear and it's just like he's just repeating what the chat bot is saying to him to get him out of trouble. He's got the stupid, have you seen the AI glasses? No. They record like 48 hours worth of video so you can like replay your day and it has like

a chat GPT like prompt thing in your ear to help you through social situations and shit. It's one of the saddest things I've ever seen. It definitely isn't the best is if two people with those end up talking to one another They will become Nazi pedophiles with Seconds of talking to each other because that's what happens with AI chat. So you just immediately they're just gonna either either They will just like fall into like one of those weird like loops of being like, how are you? Good? How are you? Good? How are you? Good. How are you? Or they will, yeah, they will become just absolutely racist.

Also like imagine this man, this is, this man is a prime example of who would buy these glasses. Do you want to give this man the ability to record continuously 24 hours a day? Not around your sister. You don't. No, exactly. Not around any, ugh, anyway. You gotta have this chat, and I think if he doesn't admit that what he's doing is wrong, you know that's an issue, right?

And again, I don't think what he's doing is cheating. I don't think it needs to be cheating to be fucked up. I'm liking it more to like, if he had a porn addiction, he was masturbating eight hours a day. That wouldn't be cheating to me, but it would be a huge issue, you know? And I do understand where you're coming from, where there's more to this because it's almost like

how people have more of an issue with OnlyFans, the porn, because there's like a layer of like- A human element? Yes, there's more of a human element. And like in this, it's definitely him putting forward emotions that would be considered cheating if they were reciprocated, but they can't be reciprocated because it's a computer.

I do think it's fucked up. I think it's a new gray area. I don't personally think it's cheating, but I don't think that matters. And I wanna hammer that home. Whether you decide it is or isn't, that doesn't make it better. You know what I mean?

That's just a label you're putting on it. Either way, what he's doing is fucked up. So you can look at it from either way. No one gets to tell you what is or isn't cheating, but I don't think whether it is or isn't cheating matters. How bad is it to wear a Rolex on a date? Hold on, I'm just gonna, I got a question real quick. Nope.

So I, 26 year old female, got a Rolex as a graduation present from my cousin, 44 year old male. Are they 44? It's weird that they're listing them as their age. Yeah, that's really important to the story. Yeah, who I'm very close with. I wear it almost every day or every normal work day. The only time I don't wear it is when I'm doing exercise or any physical activity.

Anyway, now a few times I've gotten quite nasty comments from men about it, insinuating that I've had a man pay for it, which I literally have, but that's my cousin. It was a present, nothing weird happening here in my opinion Also, I've gotten comments like you don't look like a girl who wears a Rolex and one guy even called me too dusty Too for a real Rolex. What the fuck is this weird? Should I stop wearing it or does it perhaps work as a good asshole filter too dusty for a real Rolex is that's key That's beautiful. That's poetic. I assume that was his AI trying to nag him to be like, never.

Like, I assume that was a dude. Like, I bet you anything. It was a dude on a date who thought like, oh, this is what they say on seduction all the time, call her dusty, mock her Rolex. I don't see any downside because anyone who would give your Rolex shit is probably a douche. And it's better that you figure that Out sooner rather than later. I don't know when Watches became so cool like everyone gives a shit about watches now. I mean there's always uh, oh, yeah, man

Like there's like fucking weird about watches now There's like a subsect of my watch always have been people buy watches as like investments now. Like it's, it's too dusty for that shit, man. Maybe this has always happened and I'm sure it's like, you're right. There was always people who cared about like a good watch. It was similar with like, man care about like shoes and whatever. I feel like sneakers is like the thing now. Yeah. But maybe watches are back being, I don't know.

I don't know, man. There's, there was a point in time and this is like 2020. This is during the pandemic where I was watching a bunch of streamers because there was nothing fucking else to do. And I would say that like every dude streamer that I watched would have at least like one part of his stream where they would like just talk about what kind of watch they were going to buy next. Yeah, but like it's I find watches such a weird like douchey status symbol.

Right. Because a lot of people wear it like that being like, Oh, I've got my Rolex. Like, oh, I've got it's the same as being like, I've got my Ferrari. You know what I mean? Like a lot of people and it kind of stems from this toxic masculinity thing of just being like, Oh, that's your worth. Right. Like your worth is money and the watch means you got money and like, you know, I don't know.

I had a fake Omega watch once that my ex got for me in Thailand. And like, I liked it because you could see the little clock bits in it, but it wouldn't work. What? Like it was like see through. You can see all the gears and she was really one of those 90s plastic see through with all the colored. No, it was like the phone. It was very classy and cool. But like, I know I always hated having something on my wrist. Like it just bothered me. And because it was a cheap knockoff, it would just like slowly phase out of time.

I just feel like an hour behind. I'm like, what the fuck? I like a good watch, but I I've never, like, I, I work in the service industry. I'm a bartender. Like the only time I would ever really get to wear it is at like weddings or like fancy events, right? Like I wouldn't wear it out to like, I don't dress up to wear it is at like weddings or like fancy events, right? Like I wouldn't wear it out to like, I don't dress up enough for it to ever like, it'd be weird if I

was like, here's my like sci-fi t-shirt and jeans and then this like $4,000 watch. Like what I'd be doing? Like it's weird. So what you're saying is you'll never get a chance to own or present a watch properly until we can become podcasters full time. And the only way we can do that is if you join our Patreon. It's true. That's the only way I could overspend on it. Live his watch life. Yeah.

If a woman wore a Rolex on a date with me. Hey, you wanna know? You wanna know something about me? I wouldn't even know this, man. I wouldn't know. I would have no fucking idea. I might know this like watch, but like I wouldn't know it was anything significant unless it was like obscene. If it was like fucking huge. You know what I mean? She's got the

flavor-flav like pendant Rolex. Yeah, fucking clock just hanging off her. Like I, it just wouldn't register. No, it's the same thing with like jewelry. Like I have this conversation with my partner a lot because she really likes like nice jewelry and she like looks at pictures of it and stuff. And honestly, like to me, like a ring is a ring is a ring is a ring. Like I like we walk past. We were at the mall one day and we were walking past like all the jewelry stores. I was like, none of this looks different to me. And like if you showed me one engagement ring, it would look exactly like

another engagement ring, unless like it was something fucking crazy. Like unless it was like insane. But like people freak out about engagement rings. I was like, the only thing I can be like is like that diamond is bigger than that diamond. The cut, the shape, the everything else means nothing. None of it looks different. Same thing with like necklace. Like everything just looks the same to me.

And I'm not saying it does. I know that there is, you know, it's, it's a talented profession to, to make nice jewelry. Dan, you're just coming for all the jewelers, huh? But to me, none of it, none of it looks any different to me. So like, I don't think I would be able to at like glance know the difference between a, like a $20, you know silver chain and a you know $4,000 silver chain. I really don't think I would be able to figure that not at all So, I don't know I think the only reason I would recommend you don't wear it is if you make it a significant part of your personality

You know, I mean like if you're like trying to you know Maneuvers your watches there or you keep bringing it up or like, you know, maneuver so your watch is there or you keep bringing it up or like, you know, is it a thing that, yeah, right? Like, are you weird about it? Because if you're weird about it, maybe the weird comments you're getting back are like retaliatory, you know what I mean? But if you're not weird about it,

why not weed out the assholes? Yeah, if you're just wearing it and people are losing their fucking minds over it, I think that is an excellent use of- Yeah, you're doing the world a service, you're upsetting awful man and people are losing their fucking minds over it, I think that is an excellent use of- Great. Yeah, you're doing the world a service. You're upsetting awful man. And that's, you know, it's a time honored.

That's what we do every week. Yeah. Yeah. If you could just, and it's not even, you're not even doing anything. Like think of how many men spiral just as you walk past and they're like, a Rolex. It's like- But she's so dusty. It's like train madness. You know about train madness? Yeah, but she's so dusty. It's like train madness.

You know, the train madness. Yeah, you know, train madness. It's where when when men couldn't understand that women were also on the train, and then we go crazy. Women suddenly got a modicum of freedom when trains became like prevalent and men just fucking lost their minds, started like smashing windows and crying. I imagine that's what's happening. I guess this woman walks down the street.

Rolex madness. Yeah, better just grabbing cars I guess this woman walks down the street. Rolex madness. Yeah. Better just grabbing cars and just putting their heads through the windows. Yeah. So jumping into traffic. That's it. Just make sure you're not weird. And if you're not weird about it, let them be weird about it.

Cause it's good for you. Yeah. It's good for everyone. It's good for everybody. Yeah. He's going to go home and cry and that's good. The more existential crisis, terrible men have the better we all are. Yeah.

Yeah. Cause they might find something. They might find something. They may find a nugget of truth. Granted they'll probably find a really shitty online toxic community, that is more likely to happen. But maybe, just maybe, they'll be like, it is okay for women to wear a Rolex. Maybe I'm the dusty one.

Ethically. Maybe I'm too dusty for a Rolex. Hey guys, it's Niall here. I just wanted to take a minute to talk about this episode's wonderful sponsor, Silverwax. We all know that your car can play an integral role in dating, whether you're picking your date up, dropping them home after a lovely night out on the town, or taking a drive to somewhere secluded to, you know, chat a little, wink. So you have to maintain your car and keep it looking just as good as you keep yourself.

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So find Silverwax products at your local Canadian tire or at silverwax.ca and use promo code FBuddies10 at checkout to save 10% off your next order. That's FBuddies10 FBUD IES 10 all caps to save 10% off. By erectile Chi, found out my 35 year old male girlfriend, 32 year old female, has been lying to me about her finances. I recently discovered my girlfriend of three years has been lying to me about her finances and that she makes about 8k a month after taxes, while I make about 7k a month. She also got a promotion at work a few months ago that she still hasn't told me about. To put it into context, we live in a very expensive city because of our jobs,

and she refused to pay a significant portion of her rent since we moved in together. She agreed to only spend $500 a month on rent. That left me to foot the remaining $2100. Before she moved in, I shared the apartment with a friend and we both paid $1300. The owner has raised the rent steadily over the last two years and now we're supposed to pay $3000. That means I'll be paying $25500 or $30,000 a year. We could move to a cheaper place, but that would mean a three-hour commute, which is not ideal. My girlfriend continues to refuse to pay more in rent despite her making more and the financial

strain is getting to me. I barely have savings. I pay for almost everything and she spends most of her money on makeup and designer clothes and fancy dinners with her friends. When I confronted her about lying to me about her finances, she told me she makes $60k a year before we moved in. She says it's my responsibility as a man to pay the rent and she can't afford to pay half the rent and also live the lifestyle she wants to live. She also has no financial discipline or any idea where all that money disappears to. I'm sorry I'm renting, I just feel frustrated and don't have

anyone to talk to about this. I am so frustrated and drained. I am angry. I feel like I've been deceived by someone I thought I could share my life with and I feel totally lost I've been a fool the past three years. I wasted my time dating her when she clearly can't be honest with me I tried many times to be reasonable and understanding it just doesn't work She is a leech trying to drain every penny out of me starting to have second thoughts on our life together Maybe we shouldn't get married after all. Yes. What do you think I should do? This is why, like again, questions are fine. And then if you say the phrase, she's a leech trying to drain every penny out of me, and then your next question is, should I marry her? What the fuck are you talking about?

Yeah. If you use the word leech or compare your partner to any sort of gross animal or insect or slug thing chances are you don't want to marry them or you shouldn't marry them mm-hmm what the fuck are you talking about I can't imagine I can't imagine a conversation where like one if she's making 60k a year and she's only like I can only give 500 a month that's already fucked right but secondly to them be like oh wait you make more than me and's only like, I can only give 500 a month. That's already fucked. Right. But secondly, to then be like, oh, wait, you make more than me. And her be like, lol, I want to go have fancy dinners with my friends, though.

Like, I'd be so gone. I'd be like, yo, that's so incredibly fucked up. Thank you for being a piece of shit. You're not her partner. You're her butler. I don't think I would ever date someone who wouldn't pay half rent. Like if you're moving into a space, if we're cohabitating an apartment and you don't want to pay half rent, I understand like situations, right? Like if someone lost a job and I had to pick up the slack for sure.

Absolutely. That's fine. But if someone was just like, I don't want to do this. I'm not going to meet you in the middle and split things evenly. Like that to me is an immediate no. If I asked someone, if I was dating someone and I asked them to move in with me and they were like, yes, but I won't pay the same amount of rent as you. I, there's no way I think I would go forward with this unless it was like, you

know, I don't have a job right now. Yes. We're, you know, but once I do, I will, I will contribute. If you made Rolex money. Yeah. If I was, if I was making Rolex money, it was nice to, I will or like contribute. If you made Rolex money. Yeah, if I was if I was making Rolex money. Mm hmm. I was just like dripping in Rolexes, you know?

Yeah. But like, how can you earn Rolex money when you're on AI chatbots eight hours a day? And when I'm paying 80 percent of the rent. Yeah. But even then, to turn around later and find out that you made this agreement and she also lied to you? Like, unforgivable. Yeah. Like, such a horrible thing to do to someone.

And then to turn around and be like, you're the man! Like, yeah. Yeah, disgusting behavior. Disgusting. I'll bet you anything, she doesn't want the other shitty traditional roles to come into play, you know what I mean? Yeah, does she make dinner every night? Does she want to be controlled? You know what I mean? Yeah, does she make dinner every night? Do she want to be controlled? You know what I mean? Like are you now in charge of her? laundry and and cleaning and like does she do all the like the things that like quote unquote a woman should do in a

relationship which we let's say before people clip parts of this out of Context definitely are also fucked but like you can't pick and choose and be like oh I want some fucked shit to apply also fucked, but you can't pick and choose and be like, oh, I want some fucked shit to apply so that I benefit, but no, I don't want the, like, fuck that old way of thinking, that shitty system, in every regard. But to think that you could be like, oh, I don't want those things, but I do wanna fuck you over is so disgusting.

Yeah, I wanna put in zero effort and profit the most out of this. It's bad, it's so shitty, it's again, like having, this is why you have conversations before you move in with a partner. When, when my partner and I, we moved in fairly quickly in terms of like what we both normally would do, but we had a very, very like blunt conversation about like, how do you feel about

this? How do you feel about that? When it comes to this, what would we do? Like, you know what I mean? We, we went through like a pretty solid checklist, a pretty long one about how we felt about, you know, living together and living with a partner and what our responsibilities and what are, what if you don't have, like if you're moving in with someone, you should do that no matter what.

And if at any point in time, anything pings as not ideal for you, you either need to address it or deal with it. And if, or both, or, or both, hopefully. But like to, to have, you know, let's say that you, you did things correctly and you had this conversation. And then you find out that like half the things that we're told to you were made up lies. Even one of them.

That's like, yeah, arguably the most important ones. Like we all don't want to think about finance as an important thing, but like when you're thinking long term, it's among the most important things. You need to, you need to understand what the financial requirements are of a relationship. I'm pretty sure finances are one of the main reasons things like people break up. I'm just talking like no one wants like the romance of it all. Like sure.

Yeah, but people don't want to add pragmatism into their romance. Right. But it's, it's one of the most important conversations to have when you start like living together and especially when you start thinking about like a long term thing, like obviously when you're having a fling, fuck it, whatever. But like if you're considering marriage, like moving in together, are you? Yeah. Are you like, but, but these people are talking like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, we've got it.

She brings in more money than you marry her, divorce her, take her half. Although she spends it all. Yeah, fuck. That's what I'm saying. That's not even true. I'll bet you she's banking a significant amount. 100%. And you're the one struggling. She's like, I'm not even aware where the money went. She's got money. Marry her, divorce her, take half. Boom. Now you've you've flipped gender roles beautifully and it's great, you're the golden digger. But like, what was the plan if you got married? Were you gonna merge bank accounts?

Because then it doesn't matter who's, like money, $3,000. I think it still definitely does because like, then she'll still be taking your shit, you know what I mean? But. Sure, but what I'm saying is like, if you merge bank accounts, like $3,000's coming out, it's coming out, it's coming out, whatever, right?

Like. Mm-hmm, but I'll bet you wouldn't. But that's coming out, it's coming out, whatever, right? But I'll bet you wouldn't. But that's the thing, was that the plan? Was you guys were gonna get married and still have separate bank accounts? That's a red flag, for sure. I don't think so, necessarily. I think if you are trusting someone enough to get married,

not having a joint account is strange. You can have a joint account without merging both your accounts though. Yeah. You know, like I don't necessarily see that you need to, but yes, like this is fucked, don't marry this person. Anytime, again, if you use the phrase, she's a leech trying to drain me of every cent,

your next logical leap is, should I marry her? I'm not sure if I should. Yeah, it's funny because reading the question, I'm like, oh, we're going to get to the end and it's going to be like he answered his own question. Like we don't even have a question because it gets worse as it goes on. He's like, well, I'm married and I got she's kind of shit. I don't know. She's a leech.

But at the end marriage, which hadn't been mentioned, I'm like, come on, dude. Like if you dump her, right, kick her out, dump her $500 more a month. That sucks. But you're gonna be okay. Buy some fucking cheap food and then start to rebuild, get a roommate if you can, which you clearly could've. And very soon, you're gonna be fucking golden, you know what I mean? Yeah, just get your buddy who you used to live with

to move back in and be like, hey man, I'm really sorry, that was dumb, I miss you, please pay rent. Yeah, and it's gonna be so good. You know that old shitty fucking ad where it was like, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels? Nothing's gonna feel as good as having money. Like, you know what I mean?

Fuck being, you know, single, I don't know. There's a phrase we could make, but single gonna feel good when you're rich. That's what I'll say. And by rich I mean not being leeched. So dump her. Yeah, like yes. Let her try to afford a fucking lifestyle when she actually has to pay rent.

Like fuck off. I promise you she will. She'll be fine, most likely. But either way, it's not your responsibility. Yeah, because she'll pop into another relationship as soon as possible. But like that's not how you get happy. That's how you end up in a shitty relationship.

But if that's her priority, great. Let her go do that with someone dumb enough to let her ruin their life. Don't be that dumb. Listen from Das Weeb. We had sex on our third date. I can't stop overthinking. I, a woman, 22, met him, a male, 26, at university. After our seminary approached me and we walked together to the metro,

getting along really well. In the last seminar, he caught up with me on the way to the metro again and asked if we wanted to meet up, which we did quite quickly. All the dates were nice. We got along great. We tried out different activities, laughed a lot, talked from noon until evening. After the first date, he quickly asked me for a second date via text. After the third, I asked him.

On the third date, it happened, and after a nice day, we slept together. That was two days ago, and since then, I've been paying attention to every last online status. At first, I imagined that he was texting me a lot less, less often. I compared it to the text from the days before and actually it's the same amount as before and the tone hasn't changed either. Still, I can't help but overthink that maybe he doesn't want any more to do with me or that he only wanted to sleep with me and I'm no longer desirable because he hasn't asked me out again since then.

I'm new to dating and I'm assumed that after having sex people would text each other more and want to meet up again. He was the first guy I slept with so quickly and I can't help but constantly question whether I just imagined that he liked me. I don't know what to do. On the one hand I would like to ask what's going on but I don't want to be pushy or show him how many thoughts I'm having about this. On the other hand I'd like to know if he's going ask me out again And if not, then I've got my answer

I just feel like an idiot for having sex so quickly even though it felt like it right at the moment I feel even more like an idiot for checking my phone every five minutes and hoping for a message from girl Take a breath step one step two do not go what's going on? What's wrong because you already told us that nothing's going on and nothing's wrong. You're like wrong because you already told us that nothing's going on and nothing's wrong. You're like, you counted, you counted the number of messages. You said they haven't changed. You even have the wherewithal to be like, nor has the tone. Yeah.

So you know, you're making shit up in your own head. And the best part of this all is my advice here would be you ask him, right? Which I know for some people is so scary. You've already done it. You did it for day two. So it's not bad to do it again. Not that it would ever be bad, but you've already asked him out. Just do that again.

Unless now that you've slept together, you can't ask him out. At which point, you're the one being weird, which you are. You definitely are the one being weird. I'm going to be fair in this case. You are the one being weird. And I would you've you've analyzed his text. I would maybe take a second and analyze your text. I would your tone has changed because I promise you probably has.

And are you judging, are you answering with like pages, right? Are you sending like nine rabbit by our messages? Well, you normally wait opposite where she's gone like so terse because she's like, can't get him too much. I bet you you're being weird because judging by this post, I'm sorry. the complete opposite where she's gone like so terse because she's like can't get him too much. I bet you you're being weird because judging by this post, I'm sorry, you're not chill and I don't think you have the ability to like mask that in your responses

to this person. So you need to take a breath. You need to realize that like presumably you had sex because you wanted to and not because you thought it would be a tacit understanding that you guys would date. If you did, don't do that. Sex should be sex for sex sake, you know what I mean? Unless you agree on something, you can't have sex with someone and be like,

this means X, Y, and Z, because that's not how it works. So like, if you don't want to have sex with someone, don't. If you do, you should be okay with it just being sex, right? First of all. Second of all, ask him out. Third of all, you already answered whether he's being weird. You know he's not, which means you're being weird, which means you need to calm down. And the other thing is like you all like you've gone on three dates.

Do you not have any idea the headspace of like what he's looking for in terms of like dating? Because it's weird to have like three dates and for you not to have like even just like I'm not saying you need to have like a huge like, where do you want to be or whatever? But like after three days, you should have some idea of like, what the vibe is. Is this guy looking like, is he just wants something casual? Is it just like, you know what I mean?

Like you should have some sort of vibe. And if you're this neurotic about shit, it should be, you should learn a way to casually ask and find out what, what the vibe is of these days. Like if that's something you require so that you don't spiral like crazy, then you need to figure a way to do it for your own mental health. And it's not, again, don't be like, don't straight up be like, what's the intention of these dates? I want to marry you. Or whatever, but I don't think it's any harm after a couple dates to say like, hey, I just want to put it out there.

I am looking to date to find someone to become my partner. Or I'm dating specifically just to like have some fun and keep things casual and see where they go. I would definitely like ask him out one and then two when you're out or whatever. And again, I must stress, be chill about this, because I feel like that might be your Achilles heel is being chill. But like when you're out, be. And again, I must stress, be chill about this because I feel like that might be your Achilles heel is being chill. But like when you're out, be like, Hey, I just want to know like, are you like,

I'm really enjoying the time we're having together. Like, are you looking for like something a little bit more serious or like, is this just casual or like, how are you feeling? And I think I would stress like that you aren't asking him out at that point, because I don't think you should. It's been three fucking dates. But you can lend me like, you aren't asking him out at that point, because I don't think you should, it's been three fucking dates. But you can lend me like, you know,

I'm like definitely open to seeing where this goes. You know what I mean? And that's great, that's wonderful. If he says, oh, I'm looking for something casual, there's nothing wrong with that. And I don't want you to have a breakdown or freak out or think that you're less, because there's nothing wrong with looking

for something casual, unless he like lied to you. You know what I mean? If he was like, oh, I'm not, then slept with you and was like, haha, I am. Like, yeah, that's shitty. But if you've just come up with this assumption, there's nothing, he hasn't done anything wrong. You've done something wrong by putting words in his mouth.

You know what I mean? So if it is something casual, there's nothing wrong with you guys having had casual sex. Yeah, no, no. So don't let that destroy you, but maybe if that is a thing you don't want, have this conversation sooner rather than later.

But again, it still isn't an agreement to date, nor should it be. You know what I mean? You should be able to have sex for its own merits rather than requiring a commitment. Or if it is, you need to make that clear, like, hey, I'm down to date you, but I won't have sex outside of a relationship, which I don't recommend. But if that's how you operate, you can't just have that secretly be a thing, you know, and we'll freak out about it. You need to make that clear for your sake, for their sake, for every, for our

sake, we have to read this question. It was a lot. It was a lot. It stressed me out. Like you've made me feel sad. This is one of those times where like, you can also tip your hand a little bit and just be like, as Nell said, like ask him out and be like, Hey, I really enjoyed these last couple dates. I'd really like to see you again. And, you know, take the guessing out of it. Because we need to, we've talked about smashing gender roles in this episode alone. We need to take the the onus, especially again, as now mentioned, you've already done this, you've asked him, you know, he's gonna be weird about it. You know he isn't gonna get fucking strange. So.

I was so proud of you when we got to that part of the question, I was like, yeah, this is a chill girl. She doesn't give a shit. Like she's not gonna be like, oh no, I can't. But now you're there. Don't ruin the cool work you've done. Ask him out. You're fairly young, you said that you're fairly new

to dating, having sex with someone for the first time, you know, I'm assuming you said that it was the first time you've ever slept with someone that quickly. I assume that your past partners or past sexual partners were probably like boyfriends that you've been with for a while. So like, yeah, I get it. It can be a bit like jarring to enter into a new sort of like sexual phase of your life of being like, oh, I found this guy. He was really cute.

We had a great time. We had sex faster than I've ever done before. I get it. You're a little fucking jittery about it, but just take a deep breath. He hasn't changed. Right? So there's, there's no reason to freak out. So you need to take a breath, ask him out, go from there.

And again, have that conversation about like intentions, have that conversation about what you're looking for. Do not say what are we don't. I will absolutely de-atomize myself and reappear in front of you and punch you. I won't hit you, but I'll still your dinner or you drink your drinks stern look whatever you're doing. Like whatever date you go on, I will take your turn at bowling. I will eat your chicken wings.

I will drink your drink. I will ruin your next shot of pool. I'll show up and do something I'll take a part of your date for myself Let me tell you I learned that bowling is the most fun when you're not trying to hit the pins But rather try to break the actual mechanism of the bowling alley Try to roll the ball as fast as you possibly can to get the biggest number of speed I'm surprised we haven't been kicked out of a bowling alley yet.

That's all I'll say. The fact that we have not been asked to leave a bowling alley is insane to me because we are menaces. One more show than the other. I think it's one of the few areas where you're patently more of a menace than I am. Yeah, it's weird. The bowling day just goes hard.

There's something about bowling that triggers a primal urge to make numbers go big make number go big again That's all I want So take a step as well and just like look at why you're freaking out so much Especially because again, you've done our work for us. You've analyzed the tone analyze the text. Nothing has changed So, you know, it's with you. Why is this such a big deal to you? You know what I mean? Is it that you really like this guy? Good, that's a good thing.

Is it that you're worried he used you for sex? Did you not want to have sex? If you did, then okay, like, you know, like really just delve down, like what is the worst case scenario here? And it's not that bad. And the only thing worse than it being that is you freaking out and making it that worst case scenario.

You know what I mean? Because like, you're not gonna change them if they're shitty, The only thing worse than it being that is you freaking out and making it that worst case scenario. You know what I mean? Because you're not going to change them if they're shitty, but you could definitely change if he's good. You know what I mean? You can ruin it if he's a good person who's into you. You're not going to take him back from the brink if he's an asshole. So you're kind of good here just once you don't freak out and ruin it all.

Just breathe. Just breathe. You're okay. You're okay. All right. Put all that furious anger into bowling. Yeah, meet me in the lanes, baby. You're okay. You're okay. All right. Put all that furious anger into bowling. And we've come full circle. Yeah, meet me in the lanes, baby.

You and me just fucking whipping those fucking big heavy balls down lanes. Just whipping them balls. Who cares? Who cares if we hit anything? Even if it's in the gutter, it'll tell you how fast it's going. And really, that's all that matters.

And if you gutter it so fast, it'll come out. It's true. That was a technique I mastered at, not Dave and Buster's, but something like that. And that was the yeah. I don't know. Yeah, it's great. If you ever go bowling in Boston, you're like, hey, why is this lane so fucked up? It's probably because. Yeah. Thank you very much for listening, friends. That's going to do it for this episode.

Once again. Wait. Yeah, no, it'll be next week. We are at Toronto Comic Con, Friday, March 14th. March 15th. We'll be at the- I believe two o'clock on Friday. And noon on Saturday at the Canadian Podcast Awards booth in the Community Zone. And our other podcast, No Quest for the Wicked, is gonna have a live show at five o'clock in Theater 3. It's called Sad Cowboys Sadder Dads and it's a Firefly esque like space cowboy

adventure where we will be playing sad cowboys trying to pull off a heist and look after our children at the same time. And it's going to be a blast. We have some special guests. It's going to be really fun. So come along. Or if you know someone cool who's going, tell them to come along. Yeah. Yeah. And then, and then come say hello to us. Yeah, we'd love to see you. Uh, thank you. It makes us look good. It does make us look good and I like that. Also shower some money so Dan can buy Rolex. Yeah. Speaking of which, Patreon. Go join that.

Thank you Josh Eagle in the Harvard cities for their song Paper Stars. Are you ready for some bad sex writing? Yeah, I believe so. It always pains me when I have to read out stuff by authors I like or have read their works and enjoyed them. But I do this for you and I'm never gonna let my own feelings get in the way of exposing what's out there Not you I for the audience. Oh, I don't fucking care about you at all there. That's why I bowl so hard. Oh No, it went away. Oh, it's back He looked at her over the rim of his cup Egyptian cotton button down pure white

Maybe a 13 inch collar, a blue tie knotted neatly in place. I'm rising gently over her small mobile breasts, men's trousers with big darts taken out of them to curve in around her tiny waist, tan face, white teeth, great cheekbones, blue eyes, the long blonde hair. And this is Lee Child, the writer of Jack Reacher.

Yeah, that checks out. Small mobile breasts. That's honestly, a lot of people like a larger, more tankier build of breasts. But if I'm going to go for a breast, I prefer a faster mobile breast. I think that's just a more fun style. Yeah, like a stationary breast. Boring. I know where it is. If you're mobile, got to catch them. Yeah. Right? I mean, I think there is something to be said about like a balanced breast style. Uh, when you sort of like you, you sort of, you know, have a max a little.

Yeah. Like I'm in Max breast. Um, but typically my, my breast style that I've, I've found over the years is, is a mobile one. I tend to go support. Nihilus the bra. My name is Dave Miller. And I'm Nihilus Spain. And we've been your fuck buddies.