F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 335 - Dry Me Up, Baby

Episode Date: March 17, 2025

Hey baby, why don't we go back to my place and I can get you reaaaaal dry.  Topics include the games of young women, a whispered suggestion, fake boob reveal, alcohol is more than a social lubricant.

I put my trust in you, and then I'm trusting out love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love I put my trust in you, and then I'm trusting out love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love Hello friends, my name is Dave Miller and I'm Niles Payne and we're your Fuck Buddies. We are a Dating and Sex Advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations and turn them into sexy, sticky situations. Simply put, we find questions about sex and dating either from our wonderful twisted listeners of which you are one or online from twisted online folk. They're always twisted and we answer them right here, right now in your ears.

Sometimes at Comic-Con, but it's too late now. Can't do it unless you saw us this weekend in which case. Thanks. Yeah cool. Thank you Nice especially because we're not doing this show and we're doing a completely different show But we'll still be there as a fuck. That's true capacity meeting and greeting and slinging condom I got giant bag of condoms on the ground next to me good. That's where they belong in a bag No, well of course not the bags not in the bag. They're in a bag. It just just sound like they were strewn on the ground collecting lint. But don't worry, I'll put them back in the packets before we give them to you. Yeah, we got staples. We can seal it all up. Yeah. So we ever talk about on air about say that. Yeah, the marketing ploy that we had. I think it was genius personally, where we were going to staple

our fuck buddies cards to condoms and give them out, which would obviously render the condoms inoperable because we would have stapled through them. But like Dane very intelligently was like, well, maybe people won't get that and will either be one angry at us or to use the condoms anyway. And then we'll be responsible for a bunch of STDs and or babies. Yeah, and it's like look, I'm not saying that people are dumb enough to do that, but I am saying that people are dumb enough to do that. For sure. 100%. And it's like, we're just looking at now, you just open up any sort of like news thing

and you will realize that people are actually dumber than you might think. So more dumb than you ever could have even possibly hoped for. Yeah. So I was like, let's, I, we love, we love the gag, but the last thing we need to do is just ruin and like, look, if you are the people who would make that decision and be shocked that you did do something that you didn't want to do, do we really want those people raising children? This is going to be our eugenics section. This week we are going to talk about young girl playing tricks. Getting mad because of a whispered suggestion. When do I tell them about my fake boobs?

I only like them when I'm tipsy. Oh, another shot of whiskey. It just happened there. Whiskey. Well, it's annoying because I don't want to cut out you singing this beautiful song by my boy Shaboosie, but I did also just get really confused because my computer spaz, so that was a bad audio moment. That's okay. I'm just vibing. Well, I want to preface this. There's a lot going on in my life currently, so this episode might be weird.

There might be a strange- Yeah, because all of our episodes are really normal. Yeah, I'm just saying there might be a strange energy coming from my direction and I apologize in advance for that, but here we are. We're gonna do it. Yeah, Dane's having a bad time of things, but he's being a fucking legend and still coming to record this for all of you. So maybe give him a little internet hug when you listen to this episode. Yeah, or just don't at me if I say something crazy. Yeah. Dane, Dane, they can say whatever he wants. Yeah. This is my free episode for this entire episode. Every podcaster gets one episode where they get to do and say whatever they want.

And this might be mine. Now you can't retroactively call it in. You can't just say whatever you want and be like, Oh, that was my episode. You have to announce it like Dane did right here. Damn it. Well, now I gotta say some slurs. You gotta, yeah, you can't not use it. Okay, this is by a regular question asker, Pinoyboytoy. Ooh, he's back. He's back.

He's got more tangled quandaries and queries. I'm just gonna jump right into it. So I've been going out with a fine young lady who's 15 years younger than me. She's 22 and I'm turning 38 this year. She's in her senior year of college and boy, the sex is so good. Each time we hook up we go for at least six rounds. After the fourth it's more like a chore for me and my dick doesn't feel good anymore. Yeah.

I keep on tricking though because of my ego and because I want to satisfy her. Even that isn't enough. Any tips for me to last longer and pleasure her to the max? Lol. Also, since she's young she sometimes plays games over chat. You know when girls like to ignore your messages for the day, but you clearly see her being active in other social media platforms. Whenever she does this, I usually do the same and act cold. She usually responds after a while, but when she does,

I take the same amount of time to respond or even more. I hate these games. I want to seek your advice on how to bring this up without sounding too butthurt. When we're together, everything is fine and we seldom fight. It just annoys the hell out of me whenever she does this. Would appreciate your thoughts on this.rows love pinoy boy toy. Okay. I think there's a lot to unpack Here my here's my knee-jerk reactions and my brains real bad right now So like I'm gonna just like sort of throw things out. I'll probably forget them immediately after but here's one the age difference

after, but here's one, the age difference could, you might need to sort of like figure out what your role is in her life in the sense of like, are you the hot older dude that she hooks up with every now and then and isn't looking to really invest emotionally or whatever in, like are you just sort of like a booty call? Because that could have an impact on how she texts and responds to your texts, uh, and, and could sort of like inform us and you on whether or not she's responding or playing a game or whatever too, uh, just because someone is on their phone, doesn't mean they have to respond to your messages. There might be an emotional tax or toll or whatever that people have to pay in order to engage in certain things. For example, if every time you guys talk, it's very flirty and very sexual and there's a lot of sexting happens, maybe she's out with like her grandma for brunch and she doesn't want to talk about getting finger blasted or you know what I mean?

Like, you know, she's out with her friends. Yeah, like a situation might just be like, I don't want it. Like if I was hanging out with you guys, I don't think I'd want to be there. Like getting hot and heavy with someone on text because I think one, I think it's weird. And two, I would want, I want to dedicate my attention to the, to the task at hand. So like if I don't want to half ass sex someone, and I also don't want to ignore my friends in order to, yeah. Right.

So those are my like initial thoughts on the, the texting thing. I also want to point out if you're choosing to return the favor, you're also playing games here. Yeah. You've, you've normalized it. You've made this like you've made this the way that you guys communicate. Like she does this, you do that. And that's yeah.

If that's the only way that you guys communicate, then that is how you communicate, whether that's how you want to or not. Yeah. But like you also can't just be like, oh, she's playing games. You're meeting her on the field of battle here. You're also being like, yes, I'm choosing to play games too. And like, we don't know if she's doing it consciously, but we do know you are. It's true.

So it's like, if you don't want to play games, don't, you know, like don't be someone to engage in it. And like, just there's no butthurtness about it. If you just bring it up like a rational human being, you know what I mean? I don't think it's fair as Dane said to be like, well, I've seen you on with Facebook and I've seen you on with this and like, like, because again, they don't equate just because you're on one messaging app or whatever. It doesn't mean you have to be on the other. And even if you are, it doesn't mean you have to be messaging anybody other and even if you are it doesn't mean you have to be messaging anybody Let alone you So like that's not a great way to go about it

I think if you want to you could be like hey Why do you not reply sometimes for like a long time and others like and just be like kind of it's kind of annoying Honestly when it feels like you just disappear for a long time and like keep it about you and her not about the things You've seen her do because like that seems a little desperate And it's a little shitty and it's a little shitty. And it's like no one likes to feel like they're being surveilled by their partner. You know what I mean?

Cause then you're going to feel weird if you're messaging someone or doing anything else. Like just keep it about the issue at hand and just be like, oh, like every now and then you just disappear for a while. Like what's up with that? And like, if you keep it like straight forward and about the issue and like not get weird about it and not, you know, bring other things into it, then at least you can have straightforward and about the issue and not get weird about it and not bring

other things into it, then at least you can have a conversation about it. I do think that ties in strongly as well to what Dame was saying where if you are just an occasional booty call and half the time you message or all the time you message, it's about hooking up. If they're not willing to hook up at that point, maybe that's why they're not replying. And maybe this disconnect comes from you thinking or both of you having different ideas of what this relationship is. So if you have an issue, if you don't like this, you can bring it up without making it an issue or without being like butthurt or desperate

or weird. You can just be like, Hey, I've noticed this pattern and it's kind of like whatever. Then again, she'll also be like, you do the same thing. Yeah. So it's hard to be like, I do it because you do it Cause that's not exactly a non petty way to be. So maybe stop reciprocating and then just deal with the issue at hand. If that doesn't fix it. Yeah. Now, as for your physical issues with the multiple rounds, look, you can't write like your, your body, it's the same way.

It's like, you're essentially asking like, how can I bench press all of the weight forever and never get tired and never get sore? Your body, your body has limitations. And unfortunately, as you get older, those limitations tend to become a little more prevalent, but even still four times, like most people don't even have sex four times in a, in a session. I think by four, I would be sore. Even when I was like 20, you know what I mean? Like I don't, I don't think there was ever a time where I think by four I would be sore, even when I was like 20.

You know what I mean? I don't think there was ever a time where I would go multiple rounds and by the end of it be like, my dick feels great. It's usually very sore and I'm very tired. So it's a physical activity. You're putting your body through its paces. Unfortunately, there's no magical wiggle or dance or phrase or trick to not- Well, there is the one phrase, but you need to do it with a wiggle.

You do need to. Yeah. It's all, all of them combined. Yeah. Um, you, you just kind of like accept the fact that like, there is a point where your body is going to hurt and know that perhaps the, because pain is usually an indicator of your body being like, no, no, like we should stop this. So if you're not listening to your body

There's a good chance you might hurt yourself Yeah a little more Seriously than just a sore dick for an hour or two or day or whatever even if you don't it's like you're not enjoying it I'm like there's no way that doesn't translate somehow and two you're gonna start to not want to cut damn it This this zoom I can't count now. Yeah. I'm gonna go away.

You can't, you're just zoomed in forever now. Fucking dumb. And two, I'm gonna count off screen. Yeah. You're not gonna enjoy sex and you're gonna start to like not want sex, which also isn't gonna do you any favors the first four times. Yeah, there's gonna be that dreading of like,

oh, we're gonna have sex, it's gonna be great, and then, but like, oh, we're going to have sex. It's going to be great. And then, but like, oh, I got to do it again. So the thing is, what is she looking for? Is she just looking to come more? Because you don't need to use your dick for that. In fact, you'll see better returns if you don't. It's like you've got hands. You've got a tongue.

If she wants more, go down on her finger, get a toy. Like, I can't imagine a world in which she's like, no, I don't want to come. I don't want you to go down on me. I don't toy. Like I can't imagine a world in which she's like, no, I don't want to come. I don't want you to go down on me. I don't want anything. I just want your dick. Like that's a huge compliment if so, but you gotta be like, hey, you've wrung it out.

Yeah, it's in time out now. If you want, yeah, use a toy. I can use my hands. I can use my mouth. But I think there's also like we should normalize the fact of like when you've had enough, you've had enough. And regardless, like even if your partner, like unless you are completely unsatisfying her each time you have sex, you know what I mean? If she's come a couple of times, then like you've done your job, right? Like it's not your job to completely satiate and like destroy

someone's, you know, mind every time you have sexed. Like, you know what I mean? Like she shouldn't be a catatonic mess by the time you're done with her. You guys have had sex, hopefully you've made her come, you've come a couple of times. Like there's no harm in being like, I'm done for the night or for now, right?

And there's, it's only toxic to be like, as a man, I have to fuck her until she doesn't want it anymore. Like that's not great That's it's flip it around Imagine if like this was a woman being like I'm so sore and I can't walk straight after but I have to keep fucking him Because he's not done yet. Like yeah, it sounds terrible. That's not good Um, and I was only saying like the the hands-and-mouth thing is if you do want to continue

Yeah, right because again, even if like your dick wasn't sore, you're not required to do this. I'm going at this assuming that this is what you want. You know what I mean? So if it isn't, if you get to a point where you're just done, done, you're done and that's fine. And if they can't handle that, maybe you shouldn't hook up with this person

because it doesn't sound like it's gonna be pleasant. But if you do want to, you don't need to use your dick. And we are advocates of making sure your partner is satisfied. I want to make that clear, right? Like if you guys have sex and she requires something more, I think there is an onus on you as a sexual partner to, to try to give that to her. But if, if you guys are satisfying one another, but she just has a more voracious libido or sexual appetite than you, you are not inclined to see that to do its completion

because you're putting yourself, like you aren't enjoying it anymore. I'm assuming after four, she's come a couple of times. And if not, then definitely engage your fingers and tongue. You know what I mean? Yeah. Do it a little foreplay, make her come before round one. You know what I mean? Like get as much come in there as you want and can,

and it's gonna be great. I mean cumming. Yeah, I phrasing on that one. Was it great? Give her as much cum as you have now It sounds like he is can and or want and when you're done, you're done But you don't need your dick and in fact, she'll probably come more if it's a more tongue finger toy You know directed thing now I will say the age gap if you're upset about the games and this mismatch in like whatever, maybe date a little closer to your age. It sounds like you guys are on different wavelengths.

We don't love larger age gaps. Like if this was, if she was a couple of years younger, this would be real bad. Luckily 22 is like less bad, but it's still not wonderful to be 22, 38. It's, you know, it's a big, a big age gap. So like the differences in life there are quite large, but I'm hoping you're doing things positively and are aware of like the inherent power in a gap like this. And it's not with questions about, so I'm not really going to go into it, but that is something that you need to kind of be careful about.

That's, that's an important thing to talk. I I'm kind of, I don't really know where I stand on, you know, as long as everyone's consenting adults, I, it's kind of like a, I wish you, I think it's a circumstance and, and person to person case for me, but I think now, especially when you're in more gray area, like I think 18 is quite young, 20 years. I think, you know, I think if there's a teen in the, in the name, I think there is, there is an issue. Um, but, uh, now brings up a good point in the sense of like, if these games are things

that you aren't enjoying, like you are in the age of games, right? Like you are in sort of like this sort of like, you know, 18 to like 25 era is sort of like, people are just sort of like getting their maturity clause out and figuring out like who they are as people and all that stuff. So like, if you don't want that, you probably shouldn't date this age range, because I would say that it is like most likely in that age range. Not to say that you can't find a super mature, you know, 23 year old, 24 year old, 25 year old. Like I'm sure- Or very immature 37 year old. A hundred percent. Yeah. But I think that like, if this is something you want to actively avoid, I

think you need to sort of pull your fishing line out of this particular pool. Yeah. I don't like that either. I'm sorry. I'm so glad you said pool because I don't know. I just assumed it was coming out of someone. I was like, that's going to hurt. Yeah, no, no. Yeah. Good luck. More like a fishing thing. I just want to take a minute to talk about this episode's wonderful sponsor, which is, once again, the wonderful folks over at Silver Wax. I want you to think about this. When you show up to a date, how are you doing it? You got your hair done, your best outfit picked out, and you made sure that you're showered up and smelling your best.

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we wouldn't steer you the wrong direction. I'm here all week. From interior to exterior Silver Wax takes absolute care of your car. Find Silver Wax products at logocanadiantire at silverwax.ca and use promo code FBuddies10 at caps to save 10% off. Oh, it's me. It's my turn. It's you. Hi. My partner got mad because he whispered in my ear and it dried me up. I hate when that happens. Yeah. My partner got mad at me because him whispering in my ear,

I want you to suck my dick, does not turn me on. There's nothing sexy about that to me. And I finally let him know how I felt. I feel like if he said it in a sexier way, I wouldn't mind. But it does not get me going. What way does he say it? I get it. I want you to suck my dick.

Well I think she's saying more like phrasing. I don't think she likes I want you to suck my dick. I think like. Okay sure. I hope it's not tone. I hope it's not accent. I hope it is like you know she wants it worded differently. Maybe he does it like a ghost.

I want you to suck my dick. Or maybe like Dracula. I want you to suck my dick. See that's hot. Now he's mad and pouting on the other side of the bed. Am I wrong? He said that I have some sort of power struggle but I don't think so. To me it's just not that sexy. Whenever he tries to initiate sex through words it's never starting with how he'd like to please me or turn me on. It's literally always starting with him and how he will get to feel good. And I don't like that. Is that a power struggle? I don't know. I guess it depends why you feel that way.

Or there are other issues of here or anything. But like, God, there's so much to this. I think one, it's like how he says that. What do you mean? Is it like he says it out of nowhere, like you're making dinner and he's just like, why is it my dick? And you don't like that. Is it because he says it out of nowhere like you're making dinner and he's just like Why is it my dick and you don't like that? Is it because he says it like as you said it's always about him Which is that indicative of other issues in the bedroom? Like is it always about him even when he's not talking because if he's not a selfish lover, but he just says it this way

I can't imagine it would upset you this much Yeah, or or like are you are you on the sort of the same? Wavelength like is he sitting on the couch? He's like, Hey babe, I want you to suck my dick. Right. Like I would get that, that for sure. But she does say he whispers in my ear. So I'm assuming these are in like intimate moments. Hopefully maybe she's doing the laundry or something.

And he's like, Hey, I, yeah. I am, but I mean, like that's what I'm saying. I was like, there's, there's a level of like, you you know, I I know a number of people who probably would really enjoy that They're like spontaneity of like injecting sex into what should be a mundane part of your day and all of a sudden Oh, it's spicy. Oh, so I get the idea I think you're also on the right track of like we need to know in order to answer this correctly I think we need to know what your sex life is like. Are you satisfied? Or is it, as Nal said, like, is it every time sex, you guys have

sex, the focus is on his pleasure and only his pleasure. And there's no reciprocating oral sex or there's no, you know, like what, what exactly in this equation is upsetting to you. And I'm assuming like that that is the case. But on top of that, like I guess the only other option is like people have their kind of preferred styles and like I want you to suck my dick is pretty dominant. And she doesn't like being spoken to in that way. Maybe she wants something a little bit more romantic

or like, you know, maybe she wants to be dominant. Maybe, you know, there's things you can talk about. And I think you need to figure out what your communication style is and what you find hot and what your issues are as opposed to just being like, I don't like it. I don't like the way he said it. Give us specifics and more importantly, give him specifics. Because just saying no is bad improv and it's bad advice for your partners, bad communication. But meeting someone and explaining why, because I'm sure to him, you're just saying

you don't find his dick hot. Or sucking his dick hot. Or like, you're kink shaming, not kink shaming, but you're kind of like yucking his yums really. Because he finds it hot and he likes it, and everybody wants their partner to desire them. So when you say, oh, you wanting me to suck your dick isn't hot, he's just taking that negatively.

Yeah, he's opened the door and you just kind of like slammed it in his face. And I think it also like, depending on how you told him, right? Like in, in this question, it drives me up. Yeah. Like the words you use have an impact on people. And just because your intention is the same, like there are two very different ways you could say being like, Hey, when you say that it doesn't exactly like put me in the same mind space that you feel.

Like I know this is like a really sexy thing for you, but I don't really respond that way to that is a lot different than, Hey, when you say that it dries my pussy up. Right? Like those are, you've said the same thing. You've, you've communicating the same idea to him, but one has a raised middle finger and the other one has like, uh, you know, an embrace and even better would be like, I don't like, you know, the way you said that to me, but like, if you came out at like this, I would find that more hot or something where you actually give feedback because if you don't know what you want,

you can't be upset at your partner for not knowing what you want. Like flat out. So are they married? They say partner. Okay. But I assume they've been together for a while. Right. Does it say that? No, doesn't either way. You got to fucking communicate. You know what I mean? If this is indicative of a larger issue, make him like talk to him about how he's being selfish

in bed, you know what I mean? Honestly, talk to him about how he's coming at you with this energy in times when you're not appreciating it. Talk to him about how it's not your preferred like communication style or like your literal love language. You know what I mean? Talk to him about how it's not your preferred communication style or your literal love language. You know what I mean? Talk to him about how you'd prefer it. Meet him halfway and then use examples and talk to him about what you can do to satisfy

what he's trying to get at, which is presumably some kind of dumb and or cry for validation. You know what I mean? He obviously wants to be worshipped a little bit or complimented. He gets dick sucked. Yeah. I mean, at the end of the day, that could just be it. I'd be like, I want to have sex with you when I would like to start with you giving me a poo job. Yeah. It's like wanting your partner to suck your dick or go down on you or whatever.

Yeah. Yeah. I get it. Yeah. If you have a penis, it's pretty universal, I think. Or vice versa. It's like most people also want their partners to go down on them. You know what I mean? So if my partner was like, hey, I want you to eat me out, I would be like, yes. And I would find that hot because I find them hot. You know, so that's where I'm coming at it. And I assume that's where he's coming at it. But again, we don't know enough to really hammer it home.

So take what we've told, figure out which parts apply to you and fucking talk to them. But don't be don't be shitty. Don't just shut the door and be like, no, dry me up. Like that's no one wants to hear that. Imagine like again, in order to sort of like get in the head space, flip it around and imagine if you were like, hey, I want you to go down on me. And he was like, oh, well there, my dick's off now.

Can't get hard to that. Like you'd be on here and we'd be like, yo, your husband's the worst person ever dump it. We're giving you a lot of leeway because man are historically the worst, but you know. But I wanted to mention something you said where if you aren't being satisfied in bed, this is actually an excellent opportunity and a really great segue to sort of like have that conversation. Because if that's the reason why this is sort of like yucking for you, you know what I mean?

Like if you're in the ick off this, I'll be like, hey, when you specifically want to initiate sex by demanding pleasure and talking about how good you want to feel, it makes me feel like you don't respect my pleasure. And you know, when we have sex, there seems to be more of a focus on you. And I would like to, you know what I mean? Like you could start having that conversation and this is a great springboard to do it. Because if you can get through them to that, then I think you'd end up getting to the goal

of like him finding new language, right? Like if it's just a matter of like, I would like my pleasure to every now and then take center stage, then like perhaps the phrasing ends up being, you know, I wanna bend you over. I wanna eat your pussy. I wanna whatever, you know what I mean? Like maybe he starts incorporating

what he wants to do to you and, and centralizing your pleasure in this like tactic that he has, which hopefully, like maybe you just don't like it. You know, maybe he tries that out and it still doesn't work for you. And that's fine. If this is not the way that you, you start your fires, that's great. You know what I mean? Find a new kindling, find a new method.

That's fine. But just being like you doing this sucks and I hate it and it makes me dry. Like that's not a way to communicate to your partner if you want them to find a way to solve the problem. Because all you've done now is made him not want to initiate sex. And I bet like in three months you're going to be like, my husband hasn't touched me. My husband hasn't tried to initiate sex in X and Y. You know what I mean? So I don't want to put a lot of blame on you, but I do want you to realize that the language in which you approach topics like this, they're always going to be sensitive. Anything to do with sex and, and, you know, pleasure and that kind of stuff is always going to be sensitive. So you need to make sure that the language you're

using facilitates a conversation that supports your partner. And sometimes you need to be firm with your partner. We've had plenty of instances where we had to advocate for that, but you still need to come in with a level of empathy that like you aren't going to get what you want by putting them on the defensive. Yeah, for sure. Or hurting their feelings. Also, it's just not nice, you know? And again, there might be lingering issues. There might be other things going on. That's fine, but this still isn't the way to do it. No, because this is someone you're supposed to care about. So even if there are, as I said, like an issue or a prevalent sort of like problem in your sex life, you still should like your partner and should care about them

and their happiness and their well-being and their mental health and all that stuff. So like even if you are unhappy, you shouldn't. The goal isn't to bring them down into the unhappiness swamp that you're in. You should be looking for to communicate and try to make your way through that problem, which if you start getting inflammatory, being like, you dry my pussy up. You're not, you should be looking for. To communicate and try to make your way through that problem, which if you start getting inflammatory, being like, you dry my pussy up, you're not gonna do, right? It's not gonna happen. And if you have communicated, nothing's happened,

then the next step isn't, well, let's make his life miserable and mine. It's get out. Like, those are the two options. You fix or you get out. You don't just decide to stay and be miserable. And then you try to make them as miserable as possible. Like, that's a bad, it's a bad route. So talk to them. Like, don't, again, this conversation, you try to make them as miserable as possible. That's a bad route.

So talk to them. Again, this conversation, you slammed the door and gave them the finger. Even just slamming the door, not great. Open up the communication, meet them halfway, tell them what you want and see what they want and see what you can do together. Uh, this is by Lisa0697.

When should I tell my dates that my boobs are fake? I've been on a few dates recently and I keep wondering when or if I should mention that I have breast implants. Is this something I bring up early on, wait until it naturally comes up or just not say anything unless asked? I don't mind talking about it, but I also don't want to make it a thing if it doesn't have to be. What do you think? I mean, I guess depending on the size, I think it's usually pretty obvious. Yeah. I don't know if I've ever been gobsmacked when someone's like, they're fake. It's like, yeah, I know that's fine.

Um, but again, like I know some people tend to like, you know, uh, um, people who get, uh, mastectomies, is that the one the breast removed? I always get that in hysterectomy, but hysterectomy I think is internal. That's yeah. Um, um, so like, I know some people just sort of like get construction, like reconstruction of like what their, their, their size was prior to the removal and aren't getting them like enlarged. It's more of a, you know, like putting them back where they were. And I know some people get very, you know, I don't want to say sensible, but not large. Subtle. Subtle is, yeah, subtle is a better word for it.

Incognito. Yeah. But I would say that like, unless they are the world's best fake boobs There's probably a little bit of an indication that that you have implants Yeah, I imagine if they've seen them they either know or they won't care when they find out if they can't tell I don't think They'll care if they know they know yeah, right like and you know, there's always shitty men out there I think the issue here is more so like you seem to care. So would it make you feel better? And I also wonder if like, has she had experiences

where it's gone poorly of, of like anger and like, cause we know that's a very real possibility that men see it and feel like, you know, it's like when men see women without like a shit ton of makeup or whatever, it's like, they've lied to me. I've been bamboozled. I've been like, you know what I mean? So like, I understand that like there could be that concern, whether she's gone through it or not. It looks like she hasn't gone through it.

It looks like this is a new thing. Okay. But she does say she doesn't want to trick her dates. Great. Okay. So yeah, there seems to be sort of like a, a, a, an idea, a body image thing of being like, this is, this is a lie, but it's not. You've made a conscious decision to make an alteration to your body and it's

now your body. And if someone doesn't want to accept that, then that's their problem. And I understand that there is an inherent risk for women when you go that route. So I think if, if you want to, I think you can mention it as long as it makes sense. Yeah. You're not just like, hey, so I'm going to have rum and coke. I got fake tits. What? Yeah. Right. Like I think is in moments of like, you know, being hot and heavy. Or if the conversation turns kind of sexy or even if just like a moment of vulnerability of like you guys sharing stuff, I think that's if you think you should and you would like to do it.

Because as with most things that we talk about when people are like, Oh, should I tell someone about this? It's a litmus test, right? If a dude loses his fucking mind and yells at you for tricking him and lying to him, and this is a betrayal of his trust. Yeah. And you've saved yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Your boobs have weeded them out. And it's like, cool. That's a secondary function that you didn't know you added when you got implants. This could be a tertiary function because if you got maybe she does have a secondary function that she hasn't told us about. Guns, lasers, yeah storage compartment. Yeah so it's an

additional effect depending on how many augments you got into your cyber dock. I've been playing so much cyberpunk that like I can see it and I'm like what would I get? I would put my gorilla fists in there so that like no one would know what have them. But then I would just put my hands in my boobs and pull them out and boom gorilla fists. You lied to me. How dare you. You punched me to death. I thought you were a mantis blade woman. Yeah yeah I'd put the thing that makes you come back to life when you die cuz like that just makes me not die. Yeah yeah and if hey if there's one things boobs can do to make me not die.

It's true. Just follow your heart. Do whatever you want. If you think this is a safety thing and you're concerned, honestly, if you're on like talking to a dude and you're like, Ooh, I don't know if I should tell this guy, I think that's enough of a, like this test, right? If you're like, Oh, this guy might be upset if I tell him I have fake boobs. I think that should be more than enough to be like, Nope, I don't want to talk to this guy. I think you should end up only dating people where you are almost a hundred percent

that this person will not give a shit, right? Cause then you know that this person's a good person and chill and not dangerous. Yeah. And again, it's kind of like a silver linings on silver linings. If you bring up that you got fake boobs, one, it could be a litmus test on how they're shitty. But two, if they're not shitty, you're talking about your boobs and you could very easily be like, I want to see them. And you get to transition to sexy type. They want to see them. Of course they do. Yeah. So yeah, I don't see the harm. I don't think you need to. Right? Like there's no rule that says, oh, you got to do it. But if you want to, you can. So it's up to you, which is good.

Yep. This is from fixed far. Nope. Sorry. That's not the one I want to do it. But if you want to, you can. So it's up to you, which is good. Yep. This is from fixed far. No, sorry. That's not the one I want to do. This is from dependent tooth. I only want to have sex with my boyfriend when I'm tipsy. The only time I, a 26-year-old female, actually can and want to engage in any sort of sexual activity with my boyfriend,

25-year-old male, is when I'm drunk. When we first started dating three years ago, I wanted to have sex all the time. We would do it every single day, multiple times a day. But now we have a child. Things are different. Just don't. I just do not want to be bothered or touched at all anymore. Not even in passing, like a slap on the not even in passing, like a slap on the ass bothers me so much when I drink and get tipsy.

That's the only time I can indulge in this desire to be intimate. I don't know why I'm like this and I wish I wasn't, but I can't seem to get in the mood unless I drink. Is there anything I can do, but I can't seem to get in the mood unless I drink. Is there anything I can do without having a few buzz balls to get me going? The fuck is a buzz ball? I assume that like a high ball, but to get you buzzed, I, uh, I love that. They're like, Hmm, what can I do aside from drinking therapy? Girl. Yeah. You've like, you kind of lay out the, the situation being like we dated for three years and the sex was great. We, we had sex all the time. Great.

That's what a honeymoon phase is. You are also what 23. So like, yeah, that's what we do when we're 23 and with, and starting into relationship, you fuck all the time. And then you had a child and then life sucks. And again, you know, not to, not to shit on people who want to have children, but like raising a kid is tough. Right.

I assume they're pretty young. Right. Like I assume like maybe a one to three, depending on when you had this kid. So if you're working and raising a family, even if you're not, even if you're just, yeah, like you're strapped. Stress, lack of sleep. Yes. Also like our roles evenly distributed because women are often just kind of like loaded with every role, especially when they're a kid. So it's like,

has your kind of like mental and physical load of like chores and like responsibilities just gone astronomical, which is why you don't want any of this stuff. And then when you're drunk, you're like able to kind of like forget it for a minute. Is that what's happening? Like a hundred percent something is out of whack here and it's either negligence or you're just overwhelmed in general. But like you need to figure out why and you need to go and try to fix that either through therapy, through re kind of like negotiating your life. It's not just a thing that happened. I also would assume that like if you're drinking, you're probably going out,

which means you've probably like showered or bathed, which is a thing that quickly goes by the wayside for a lot of like, I know a lot of like stay at home moms who are like, I maybe get to shower. Stinky moms? Well, they like, cause like they don't get a chance to. No, it's you're never alone. Right? Yeah, exactly.

And it's like, you can't like just leave your kid and go have a shower. It's like, usually people are like, my kid is sleeping. I'm going to go like spray myself down. And but it's like, that doesn't like, for me, I understand the idea of being like, if I'm not in my like sort of physical peak, if I feel a little stinky, if I feel a little grimy, if I feel a little dirty, I am not in, in sexy mood, I'm just not, or even like, if I'm, if I don't feel comfortable in my body, I, I do not, my, my, my desire to have sex is, is a lot lower because I don't feel like myself,

right? And if I don't feel like myself, I don't feel sexy. Or I'm so distracted that it's kind of like the, of all the like mishmash of things floating around in my head, sex isn't the first one I'm going to grab if I have time. So that is definitely contributing to it. And that brings up a good point. Like what about your body about your body? Like, pregnancy is very hard on your body and they are busy. So it's like, and what does the fucking media always show us? Oh, my God, look at the celebrity mom

who bounced back so quickly. Like, you're being hung up against these people and you probably haven't had a chance to go to the gym or eat fucking boiled chicken with kale every meal or whatever the fuck they do. So are you not feeling comfortable in your own body? Are you not feeling comfortable, as Dane said, with your hygiene or

your whatever? And again, you're probably only drinking, again, as Dane said, on nights out, or when you have someone looking after the baby or when the baby is asleep. So it's like, I hope you're not drinking while you're looking after the baby because you're in your free moments when you're drinking. So you're obviously going to be in your sexiest then, but there's just, there's so much that's out of whack here that you can start to fix and start to rationalize instead of looking at like, well, this is how it is now. Yeah. So I think you need to, it's great that you've recognized this. It's great that like you, you realize, Hey, this might not be the best way to go

forward because it isn't requiring a substance, I think, for, for anything that you want to do, I think is a very slippery slope. Like if the only way you could, you know, do anything was to get drunk or to get high or to do something, I think you end up getting a dependence on that substance. Even if they're non-addictive, you still require, like if you need X to do Y, you become a dependent on those things. And I think anytime that happens, you run the risk of, of kind of throwing your life out of whack, or at least your routine. So figure out a, a, a, maybe a system of like, you know, figure out the times when you drink, what, what else is happening? Is it the fact that like, that's the night of the week that you get a babysitter or your parents take care

of the kid for a while or whatever. And it's like, maybe instead of going out and drinking, you and your partner, like just stay home and like he makes you a nice meal or you make a really nice meal and you just have a really chill night where you get to reconnect and like hang out and be yourselves as opposed to being like,

this is the only time we get to go out this month. Let's go get fucking smashed because that might just buzz balls and yeah, some buzz balls, like do some Netflix and chill, not buzz balls and both. Yeah. So it's like you, you might just be missing the, the, the opportunity to connect with your partner because like if, again, if the only time you guys are actually going and like feeling like normal people are doing what you used to do is also a kid tipsy. Yeah. Yeah a kid. Is going out and having a good time. Of course, the drunk might not really factor into it. It might be the fact that like,

oh, this reminds us or me of what we used to be, what we used to have, the chemistry that we had. And now that we're out and like hanging out and doing things, I feel sexy again, and I feel wanted again. Or the drunk is like, now that I'm drunk, I can get past my insecurities with my body, or I can ignore the stress of all this work I'm doing or whatever. So just, you need to examine your life and look at what you're doing and where the stress is coming from.

Is it fairly allocated? Is it just the reality of being a parent? But either way, maybe next time, skip the alcohol and do something that gives you an opportunity to be sexy in a non-drunk setting. You'll be all right. Are we done?

Yeah, we done. Well, I'm done at least. It's been beautiful. Thanks for spending some time with us. If you love us and you like us and you listen to us, please follow us on all the social medias. We're pretty much everywhere. Please like and repost and retweet and share the things we post.

Please tell a friend about us, review us where you can and think about joining our Patreon because it's what keeps us going. We love you. Yeah. Thank you Josh Eagle and the Harvest Cities for their song Paper Stars. You ready for some sex, bad sex writing to lull you into peace, calm, happiness? Yeah, sure that's what it's going to do. Yes, a post on Twitter. Oh good. Hubby likes shoving soft-boiled eggs up my vagina I can hold three and then I squat down and I lay the eggs like a hand and my hubby will eat them

Coated with all of my juices cool Like I'm what you what you tweeting that it's that's that's the worst part. Yeah, and like surely you've gotten sick There's no way you haven't gotten terribly ill from this And like, surely you've gotten sick. There's no way you haven't gotten terribly ill from this. There is a post right under it asking about her multiple yeast infections. She's unsure as to why. Oh, like salmonella?

I don't know if that's just chicken, but I feel like putting eggs inside you would give it to you as well somehow. Vagina. No, they're soft boiled, they're cooked. Safe. Sure. And the thing is-

Don't ever say it's safe. It's really hard to tell what's discharge and what's just leftover egg. My name's Dave Miller. And I'm sorry. We've been your fuck buddies.