F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 336 - Dinosaurs are a Liberal Hoax

Episode Date: March 24, 2025

If I can't see, I don't believe it and I ain't NEVER seen a dolphin!  Topics include not quittin' the gym, sharing sex problems publicly, my not so smart boyfriend, a dead libido rises again.

I put my trust in you and I'm trusting out love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love I put my trust in you and I'm trusting out love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love Hello friends, my name is Dave Miller And I'm Niall Spain And we're your fuckbites We are a sex and dating advice podcast where we take your sticky,

sexy situations and turn them into sexy, sticky situations. Simply put, we find questions either online or from our wonderful twisted listeners, which I think is my new thing now. You're all fucking free. You're twisted. And we answer them right here, right now in your ears. And we love it. And we love you. We're back in the closet.

We are back in the closet. I feel like it's we legally have to tell people. I feel like we shouldn't tell people and then we get them telling us if they feel it or not. If there's closet energy. Yeah. Do you get the closet energy? Maybe edit this out.

Yeah. The nice thing is, is that we are back here on the hottest day of the year so far. Yeah. We have timed this poorly. Like a week or two, two weeks ago we would be in here maybe not sweating. No, it would be actually nice it was actually quite cold in here the past couple times because I don't turn my radiator on and I'm right by the door and so but he did turn his radiator on today I've turned all

monster full blast yeah it's sunny out which is nice it makes me feel good on my bike cycling around getting my vitamin D and I ain't talking about dicks okay I'm not. I saw a post recently. It's the sun. That was very funny where it was like, what are vitamins? You get it from the sun, you get it from a carrot.

Yeah, to be fair, the fact that like the sun's beaming it into me. Yeah. We can talk about how we're not experts. I'm definitely not a vitamin expert. The fact that just a big glowing bulb in the sky is just fucking shooting it into me. Of like radiation too.

It's crazy. Yeah. Like what else shoots vitamins into my hands? Oh, you're making me say it weird. Everything. Why can't everything? Yeah. Can't I just put like a carrot in my room and it'll shoot? Yeah. That's what I'm saying. It's like, why can't we just get lights that give us everything that we need? We've never sounded more dumb.

And our guest is R.F.K. Jr. this week to talk about measles is good for you. I just I want to be able to like get cool lights that while I'm sleeping. Mm-hmm I don't have to worry about a deficiency. I don't have to worry about oh, have I eaten enough fiber? It's like why can't I just get that? I think fiber isn't a vitamin. I think fiber is who knows man No one could tell no one knows there's no way of knowing there is an LED light in the closet now And I'm wondering what vitamins is that beaming into us? Cancer.

Right. Vitamin C. Yeah. Vitamin C, A, N. This week, aside from deep diving into vitamin lore, we'll be discussing am I an asshole for not quitting the gym because my boyfriend told me to. Oh, right. This is what we do. How do I tell my girlfriend not to discuss my sex problems?

How my boyfriend could be a bit well not very smart No, is this about is that one of our partners? Yeah, it might be it just got sent into us right now So some about vitamins here crazy and a dead libido has made a resurgence. Okay. Why is this so ominous? Yeah, I don't know Okay, I'm gonna hit you with this deleted question. Ask her, am I overreacting for not quitting the gym? Because my boyfriend told me to praying he doesn't see this. But anyway, he suddenly snapped and doesn't want me going to the gym anymore. I can't figure out why.

I do already have my dream body. Fragment. Yeah, Jesus. But I don't want to quit at all. Does anyone have any ideas why you switched over when we go into the gym? And am I doing too much by not quitting? I'm going to read you a text exchange that he has sent. Oh, fantastic. Where are you? No question mark. So you know it's bad at the gym nearly done. I'm so sorry. I cannot eat. I cannot sleep tonight. You're going quite often now, babe. I've been going three times

a week for ages. Nothing has changed. Well, I'd prefer if you stopped going. That's not happening. But why? Are you craving attention? I give you loads of it. Who would I'd prefer if you stop want? That's true, man I I get that's the only thing I do get because if I had a fat ass and a flat stomach I don't know what else I could want. Yeah, honestly for me It's like if you're making dinner and then you make dinner, but you leave the oven on what are you doing? What are you doing? Don't dinners made dinners made you're not gonna make another dinner exactly. Well, you want more glutes more more dinner Become one big muscle well if your gains collapse your other gains then you're back to square one maybe that's it like new

game plus new game plus yeah what if like he's worried that your butt is gonna get so powerful that it's gonna start like eating itself like you ever played held i know you have i'm talking to the on you ever played hell divers and you walk behind someone who's firing like a rocket launcher and the blowback pushes you over? Yeah, what if your cheeks clapped and the blowback of them cheeks clapping finally reached like critical mass and he got sent on his ass Yeah, I probably hurt because his glutes his glutes. I'm just guessing are not as defined I would guess this this has small ass energy small glute energy Yeah, I mean like the funny thing is how quickly this man folds when like talking about it, right?

Like you're like, you call him out on all of the bullshit and still his like, his answer is like, but do it. Yeah. Where he's like, at first it's like, I don't, I don't like, do you need attention? I don't, what do you mean? Like, no, I don't care. Okay. Well, is it from the guys?

Oh, the dudes that you said you you're cool with me having friends. I am. OK, OK. So what's the problem? It's like, well, you're you're fit as if like that. Like if that was permanent, I, you know, if that was life, it's like you just got to a level and you never regressed. We would all be shredded. Yeah, because that like getting to a point where, you know,

one fitness goal is hard mainly because of a million other things. But if you knew you only had to get it once, we would all do it. Yeah, I would, I would, you know, eat chicken and broccoli and rice for, you know, six months or whatever and go to the gym every day. And yeah. And you know what I mean? Like the pound glasses of water and be super, super healthy for six months. If the, the, you know, effects I achieved were just permanent, where like I

didn't have to maintain that. Of course I would. When the reason I'm not in shape is because I have to keep doing the hard thing. You have to do it forever. Forever. That's a long time. Can you imagine like government be like, hey, guys, you've got your

swole months coming up. Like when you hit 18, you get six months off to just get swole because it never goes away. Yeah, like get fit as hell now. It's sort of like the gap year before you go to college. Everyone just like looks like a CW show. Yeah, at least it's so dumb.

It's like, oh, you're really dedicated and you put in the work, give up on it. Stop. Stop it, ruin it. This thing that probably gives you a lot of like, is great for your mental health, great for your physical health, probably reduces your stress levels. Is part of your routine. Yeah. Is your social life because you have friends there. Just don't do it because I suck. Yeah. It's, I mean, like you could, you could replace this with

like literally any hobby. Stop playing rivals. Stop. No, you're going to trigger my partner. Like, yeah, it's like anything, right? If your partner does a thing that they really enjoy and for whatever reason you're insecure about it, of course there are exceptions to the rule as there always is, right? Your partner is doing something dangerous. No. Or if they're drag racing. Let them be fucking cool.

Don't let you sucking hold them back. Yes. Right? Go ahead and hit that NOS button. Just imagine, what would happen if Vin Diesel went out and Letty was like, no Vin, you already got a sick car and you can fucking shred. To be fair, I'm pretty sure that is what they're trying to do. Like, that's the goal and they achieve it.

And then bad things happen. Exactly. Then John Cena shows up. Every time you stop going to the gym, you'll introduce another villain to your life, right? Every time they dial back, how cool they are, the rock shows up and he's evil again. Oh, how do they become friends with him? By doing more of it, right? But this is what I'm saying is I think in this fiction is the second she stops going to the gym. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. It's bad. It's bad. So don't stop. Every time you stop, a villain comes into your life. Yeah.

It makes you have to do it more. And if you do it enough, yes, there's the added benefit that they're now your friend. But then, oh, guess what? Your boyfriend makes you stop again. More villains. It's true. And eventually it's going to be Jason Momoa. Mm-hmm. Yeah. We don't know how that...

He's a big boy. We don't know how that turns out. No. And then you have to go to space? You do have to go to space. Gym space? Space gym? Space gym. Although it's a lot easier to avoid up there.

Yeah, space gym doesn't really affect anything. Yeah. But it's hard mode because you can't get the gains. Yeah. What are we doing? I don't know, man. Um, this boyfriend is a bad one. You've picked up a moldy boy from the shelf and you should toss him away and get a

fresh organic boy or you know what? The gains. This is an opportunity to have an honest conversation with your partner about what is clearly an insecurity of theirs. Yes. Right. This is an opportunity to break down the patriarchy and have honest conversation with your partner about what is clearly an insecurity of theirs. Yes. Right? This is an opportunity to break down the patriarchy and have a conversation with your boyfriend

who has obviously... And also introduced some cool ass communication. Yeah, right? Like you can be like, hey, this doesn't bother me. The things that I'm doing are important to me for X, Y, and Z. I need to know why this upsets you. I need to know why you don't want me to continue to do a thing that is so integral to my life,

my happiness, whatever. And if he says like, hey, I'm actually getting really insecure. You're looking way hotter than I am. And I don't feel like I have the physical attractiveness to stay in a relationship with you. And therefore I'm, you know what I mean? Like if those, if he's willing to open up

a button is in security, regardless of how like quote unquote ridiculous they may seem to you. We talk about all the time, insecurities aren't logical, right? Like they pray all the time. It would be great if they were. Yeah. Life would be a lot easier. I would love for the fact that like, you know,

currently I'm dealing with like some body image stuff. I feel, I don't feel great in my skin. I agree. Thank you. Um, but that doesn't matter. I know. I like, I'm still gonna say it. That's, that's the point, right?

Like my girlfriend frequently and Constantly gives me validation and says nice things about yeah, but it's about you You know and that's the thing right like it's it's not a like if it was that easy if it was just like oh my girlfriend Thinks I'm hot my friends say nice things about me not a problem anymore, but like that's not how it works Unfortunately our brain is it will be worse if when you brought up we just kind of awkwardly looked at this LED sign or something. Or said, yeah, you look like shit. Yes. So it's, it's important to understand like when you when you have a conversation about

insecurities to not just think that like, because you say, don't worry about it, that's not happening. Or that's the solution to laugh it off. Yes. Which you might think is like a positive response. It could be like, oh, that's ridiculous. But like they probably know it is in a certain capacity, but it also obviously isn't if they're bringing

it up and it's affecting them as much. So you got to take it seriously. You got to realize that like just saying, oh, no, it's fine doesn't help. However, I think the most important thing is doesn't matter how insecure they're feeling.

It still shouldn't end in you changing your like hobby just to suit them, because that doesn't fix anything and it's terrible for you. The point of this conversation isn't to give into their demands, it's to figure out why they want that. And address that root issue. Yeah, to address what,

and start working on a solution for them that isn't a detriment to you. Yeah. Right, like, because if it's a matter of like, if he's starting to, you know, if he does feel insecure about his body or whatever, invite him to come to the gym once you're, you know what I mean?

Be like, well, then come work out with me. Like if you're feeling this way, I'm happy to like do a couple's day and don't make it like, don't change. Like, I don't want you to lose a thing that is important to you. Yeah. Right, like, but-

Make him claim your gym. Yes. Or don't force him to go if he doesn is important to you. Yeah. Right. Like making claim your, your gym. Yes. Or don't force him to go if he doesn't want to either. You know what I mean? Because that would almost be reinforcing like, Oh yeah, it comes to the gym, comes to the gym. You really need to hit the gym. Yeah. So I think part of it is, and we did say like saying, Oh, you're fine. Isn't going to fix it. That's true. It doesn't mean you shouldn't reassure them. No. The great part about being told in insecurity is that going forward, you can like make room for that. You can be like, hey, you look really good. You can make sure

to reaffirm them in ways that are genuine and not really obvious and not pedantic, but condescending. And also you know things to look out for as well. I tend to get a little stressed sometimes when I'm going out and I'm trying on clothes and I don't feel comfortable, right? And my partner knows that. So she knows sometimes like when to give me space, but she also knows sort of like when to be like, the shirt looks great. What you're worried about isn't a problem. Right? Like she's very good at sort of like figuring out what needs to be done at that time. She might know that I just need to kind of like spiral for a bit and try on a couple of different shirts and whatever until I sort of like calm down.

Or she knows that like I've put on the shirt that I should be wearing and she likes the way I look and she comes and tells me that and that. So I'm like, OK, great. I feel better now. Like I that's that's that's it. That's why it's important to know about it and to act on it. Like so we're saying it's not as simple as just being like, you're fine to get over it. Yeah. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't be giving that verbal encouragement. Of course, I do think over time it does help.

You know, and like even little bits of encouragement from your friends or your partner or whoever, they do build up. It's just not a one one time fix. It's a little bits of sand fixing a wall. Yeah, exactly. It's sort of like the, you know, a couple, a couple of planks in a bridge to sort of like bridge the gap of like of this, you know, chasm of insecurity. You your your friends and your loved ones are sort of like laying down slats to sort of like help you get to the other side for this instance. Yeah. And hopefully, you know, as as that happens and as you sort of like deal with it and come to maybe they stay there. Yeah. So they'll put the odd nail in and that one becomes a little permanent. Maybe you add one yourself, you know, and it's it's it's not an easy thing.

But no, it's as we said, you have to really make sure you protect the things that matter to you, which obviously is going to the gym and working out that that seems to be a big part of your life. It seems to be important to you. So hang on to that and those sick glutes and those sick glutes, you know, and maybe explain to them, be like, this isn't just about my body. It's it's about maintaining my physical health. Like if I am I just not supposed to work out anymore? Yeah.

Because that will make me feel bad and and will have a detrimental effect on my body, regardless of like whether you want to stay in this like incredible dream body shape or not. But like it's also just I'm feeling the effects now of like being sedentary. You know what I mean? It's like in after COVID, like I, every time I saw a picture of myself, I was like, cool, where's the gun? Yeah. And you know, get me my noose.

And it's just like, I'm feeling it in my body now, right? Like it's where I like, I, I do like all last summer, pretty much I just sat at the computer if I wasn't at work. So I was like getting my ass absolutely beat at work and standing for 11 hours at a time And then for the rest of the week just sitting and it's like it was just so hard on my body The worst of both worlds Yeah, it was like there was no sort of like middle ground. There was no sort of like strengthening It was just like beating and then nothing

So it's like now I'm taking a very conscious effort of like trying to add in movement into my day of like whether I'm getting on. I got a stationary bike that I that I hop on now. We're going for walks again. It's like just little things. But, you know, it's it's it's not an easy solve. There is a lot of work goes into sort of like battling this stuff. It's also super disrespectful for him just to reduce everything that you're doing in terms of hard work, dedication, commitment, socializing.

Yeah. To like, you want attention? Like, fuck you, dude. Come on. And that's like, we're being very generous in this situation, right? We're giving this guy the benefit of the day. This guy might just suck. This guy might just look at you and be like and very your mind. I don't want you out in public. Which still stems from insecure. For sure. Yeah. I I'm going to go on the like I didn't jump to have a conversation with him because I don't think it's

going to go well. I think you should if you want to. You know what I mean? If this isn't a deal break for you, by all means have that conversation. But you need to have that conversation with kindness, but also with hard lines.

And those hard lines are we need to get to the end of this. You not asking me to quit the gym, you over this, and if you revisit this topic, next time it's either gonna be a, I'm gonna go find another boyfriend, or it's gonna be a far less kind conversation of like, yo, stop bringing that up.

Because you really have to, because sometimes people will not let something like this go, and you dancing around it for a year or a year and a half until you finally have had enough and you've, you know, I've done that before. You know what I mean? You need to have those hard lines. You need to stick to them because if that's a thing

you're not willing to give up on, which it shouldn't be, don't and don't even entertain that fact. Yeah, you'll know. I think you'll have a better idea of like, is this a thing that, was this out of the blue, right? Like, is this like uncharacteristic of him or is it sort of like every time you guys go out, he talks about your outfit and you know what I mean? Or like even the fact that it's like, I thought we agreed I could have male

friends that kind of seems, you know, I didn't have to agree to have friends of whatever gender with my partner because why would I do that? Yeah. You know what I mean? It kind of really stinks of like, he has these insane jealousy issues and he's also lying to you. He's like, yeah, by all means have friends. And he's like, oh, you fucking work out with these bros?

It's like, fuck off, dude. Yeah, this is a situation where I think you will know better than anyone whether it's worth investing in. If the thing is, people are so bad at realizing that. You look at every question we have. So I'm saying if this conversation doesn't go very well and if he continues to bring this up, dump this motherfucker. Yeah. Get your beautiful sweet glutes out on the streets.

Find another man. Yeah. Or girl or whoever. Yeah. Because it's not life is not worth miserable people trying to ruin the shit you love. 100 percent. Yeah. So unless it goes very well, get out of there. This is from Simple Orange. How do I tell my girlfriend to not discuss

her sex life with her friends so much? I, a 29 year old male and my girlfriend, a 28 year old female, have been together for almost two years now. I know she's always talked about her sex life with her friends, but a few weeks ago, her friend made a comment that my girlfriend tells her a lot, which given the context

of what my girlfriend tells me, her friend shares, or tell me, her friend made a comment that my girlfriend tells her a lot, which given the context of what my girlfriend tells me, her friend shares, or tell me what her friend shares, makes me think my performance is a topic of discussion. Normally, I pass it off because I'm not insecure about those things sexually. However, I've been dealing with hip problems for a few years now, and as a side effect of the nerve damage, I occasionally have trouble

staying hard and finishing. Side note, I do still take care of her needs through other means. After that comment by her friend Side note, I do still take care of her needs through other means. After that comment by her friend, I keep getting uneasy about the thought of her possibly telling her friend about my issues. As a result, it's made me have much less drive than I normally would out of worry that it won't stay in the bedroom. How can I tell her that I prefer that at least some of our sex life not be as open as other

things without coming off as a controlling prude. You say, hey, your friend made this really weird comment the other day, and it feels like it was about, you know, my sexual performance. Like, I know you guys talk, like, have you been saying stuff about me? Cause like, I feel really insecure about that, especially given like, you know,

the nerve damage and stuff lately, like so, and then have the conversation and see what she says. And if what she says is, oh, we talk, you could be like, look, it really makes me uncomfortable. Like I'm dealing with this issue and it's actually making it worse. Like the panic about that. Like, do you mind if you just like promise to me

that you're not gonna like do that? And if she doesn't say, yeah, of course, then you gotta really look at whether you've got a good partner here. Yeah, I think there's always gonna be some level of like sharing sexual exploits of some degree. I think in most... See, I don't know. It's not like we don't go like, me and my partner, like we don't... Ironically for two men who have a sex podcast and talk about sex every week.

We talk about funny things that have happened sometimes. I guess, but even then it's not like... But yeah, no, I guess, Yeah, I guess you're right. Like, but at the end of the day, the point I was getting to partner into a spiral when they hear like because that's such a worrying sense. You talk about funny things, funny things that happen. I think all those things that make us laugh like historically, we have talked

if we, you know, we hooked up with someone and like something out of the ordinary Yeah, but not even in a bad way obviously the notable things will occasionally get mentioned None neither of us are like I had great fucking see you know like yes. I don't know it's yes I The fact that like like I would say that we we don't really know anything about our our partners sexual Preferences you know it's like I don't need to It's like, we don't really talk about that at all. And that's essentially the point I was getting to was that like sex is a private thing, unless you don't want it to be in terms of like, everyone has consented to group sex or something.

But like, if you and your partner are in a monogamous relationship, the sex that you have behind closed doors, there should be a level of protection of being like this is this is us. Condom. This is this is our time. This is our actions. These are our our sort of life. And there should be a level of trust of knowing that, like the things that are struggling or whatever. Yeah. Should be dealt with the utmost care in terms of like, if you're are like, I think there

is some level of like, what's the word I'm looking for, ability to sort of like vent frustrations and ask for advice about stuff. Sure. And that's the thing. I think like, no one's saying you cannot mention sex at all, right? But like, there should almost be like an unspoken like respect of like, yeah, maybe you'll mention like something. Like I don't think it's healthy or whatever to just be like never mentioned it ever. You don't get to talk about it. But I also think it's healthy to be like,

here's everything about Dave. You know what I mean? I don't think that's respectful. But then as Dane said, it gets so much worse when like there is an embarrassing or private or personal issue. So for you to go out and like thirdly or fourthly, I forget how many things I've listed to then do so to someone who's either disrespectful or clumsy enough to then straight up say that to your face. Yeah, not, you know, there's always

the chance that he just took it that way and it was about something else. But like, you know, the kind of people who are safe to tell things to and the kind of people who aren't. And if she's gotten this private information and then like throws it in his face like that, that's pretty fucked up. And it's also a pretty clear idea that's not the kind of person you should have told

probably anything to, let alone something of this nature. And you're being a disrespectful partner by ignoring that. And you're also parroting back what the friend has been telling, like his partner seems to also tell him about what his friend saying, right? So it's like, it seems like a very strange relationship that she has of being like, we're gonna like complain about our partners presumably or at least like, you know, talk about our partner's sexual lives and then just go on and tell. And then we're gonna come back and report back to our partners. So especially if this is like a close friend group, there's like as much as we'd like to pretend like there isn't, but like there's a lot of worth assigned to men about their sexual prowess, right?

Whether it's their ability to stay hard, whether it's ability to make you come, to last long, their length, their girth, their, you know, size, all these things, right? Like there's a lot of societal weight that is put on men. So the second you start sort of breaking those down, like I used to have a coworker who on regular basis on Facebook would like make small dick jokes about their husband. And I'm like, this sucks.

Like not just for him, for everybody, yeah. But it's like, I don't want to, when I meet this man, be the only thing I know about him is that you joke about the size of his thing. I don't even know if it is small. I don't know if it's just things that you think are funny. But like, you must know that like,

everyone that doesn't know him personally, that just knows him through you, it's just like, oh, there's your small dick husband. Like that sucks. There's no way no dude is gonna feel good walking into a room with that sucks. There's no way no dude is going to feel good walking into a room with that energy. If you wanted to flip the script and pick something that's society women, you know what I mean? Like, here's my barren ass girlfriend, you know what I mean? Or something. Here's my loose lips.

Yeah, like it would be so fucked up. So I think it's not bad or controlling or whatever to have this conversation. And again, like we said in question one, tell them why you're feeling insecure. Yeah, because of the issue, because of the comment the friend made. And then be like, look, you know, I don't want to like tell you you can't talk about things, but obviously this is a particularly personal and upsetting issue for me. And I really don't feel comfortable with it being like spread around and blah, blah, blah.

And just being like, is it OK if you don't mention these things? Yeah. And again, I hope they'll meet you with empathy and kindness. Yeah. And hope maybe even like, oh, I actually didn't tell them. This is about something else. I don't know if they're like, well, I got it. I got a talent like that's not cool. And I think it's OK to see. Yeah. I really ship where you are, respect.

Yeah, 100 percent. Like it's especially because these are like situations outside of your control. Yes. You have like a medical problem. Like you have you have a physical disability, nerve damage. But dude, it would be very different if it was like you pumped and dumped. And then we're like, whatever I'm done on, you rolled over. And she was like, well, that sucks.

Like, yeah, you might not feel happy about her saying like, oh, he won't make me finish. But like it's in your court, dude. You're being a dick in that situation. So it's like, sure, she can complain about that. But if she's just like, oh, fucking nerd with his nerve damage, like that's so. Yeah, that's really bad. Yeah. It's like, oh, he can't stay hard, but he still does everything he can to me. We finish like, what are you complaining about? Well, maybe she isn't right.

Like, we don't know. Maybe she's like, oh, he's great. He's doing all this. And maybe the friend just sucks. Yeah. Right. Like, I don't know, but it's definitely not weird for you to ask to be respected in this way. It's not controlling or prudish to ask for boundaries.

Right. Like, and you can have the discussion again, if this partner, like if your partner thinks that you're out of line and that they do have the right to, to talk about all this stuff openly and disregard your boundaries, then this isn't a partner for you. Right? Like setting boundaries doesn't necessarily mean that you are in the right or you, you know, the partners in the wrong. Like someone can set unreasonable boundaries. Right? Like we talk about boundaries as a healthy thing, but like you could set the boundary as I get to cheat. Yeah. Or even just like, okay, I'm setting the boundary

of like, you can't talk to men or you can't go to the gym Yeah, right. They just talk that's that's a shitty boundary Yeah, so like just because you're the one setting boundaries doesn't mean you're necessarily in the right But in this case, it seems like you are it also shows you who who you're compatible with Yeah, right. Like if someone doesn't want to operate within those boundaries, they're welcome to leave. Yeah Should you maybe then reconsider what kind of boundaries you're placing and have a self-respective, you know, introspective look? For sure. But again, if you're like, hey, this is a really personal matter and I don't really want to talk to them publicly. And they're like, no. Yeah, that's bad. Then like, obviously, this is not a relationship that you're going to feel respected in. And this issue, absolutely, as we've talked about before, can manifest itself psychologically as well.

So now you're dealing with nerve damage as well as the psychological pressure of insecurity and fear and- Yeah, and not knowing if anything's gonna get back to that friend, but now, oh wait, that's making you not perform. So you're in a death spiral where each thing makes the next thing worse and it keeps going.

And then you've just become a couch or something. Yeah, that's how it happens. Hello, it's Dane here to do the thing which is our break, which is talking about our wonderful sponsor for this week's episode, Silver Wax. Now you might be thinking, uh, Dane, what does a car wax company have to do with sex and dating? Well, let me tell you, it has everything to do with it. Imagine all the time and prep that you put into grooming yourself,

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Silver wax takes absolute care of your car. Find silver wax products in your local Canadian tire or at silver wax.ca and use the promo code F buddies 10 at checkout to save 10% off your next order once again that is f buddies 10 fb you ddi e s 1 0 f buddies 10 at checkout to save 10% off your next order silver wax Silver Wax, loved by car owners with no time to clean. My boyfriend 31 could be a bit well...not very smart, 25 year old female. This is by CMC Mocha 04 not really sure how to put this but I think my boyfriend of six months a bit educationally challenged. Before I start

there's nothing wrong with that I understand lots of people have different learning requirements but he's also not presenting any strong neurodivergence. That being said he says things that I would make Mark a strange for a male for example we were talking about work and I briefly use the term DE and I to my, he asked what that means as he's never heard it before. He didn't mishear me, but he's actually never heard of diversity, equity, and inclusion. I'm sure anyone who reads the news or goes through corporate training has heard that title before. And he's a person of color. So I'm even more confused why he's never soaked in the term. He's definitely heard countless times before. More than this, we live in England and he told me he'd never heard of Winston Churchill and

didn't know who he was. Told me his colleagues couldn't believe it, and honestly, neither can I. He was born and raised in the UK, more than I can say for myself, and I'm six years younger than him. Other examples I'll take is, I don't know if the earth is flat, because, or isn't flat, because I've never seen the earth. To which I respond, have you not seen the curve out of a plain window? He says he's never noticed. He also doesn't believe in dinosaurs, as he's never seen them. He works a normal corporate job, has his own place, and is

otherwise a lovely man to date. I just get so confused when he says things are quite outlandish. He could be solved by rubbing two pennies together and try not to be condescending when I respond. Is this a red flag? I wonder if he always be tailing me intellectually and I'll get frustrated eventually. He is wonderful, handsome, and means well. I'm just tired of explaining a third of the conversation. Edit, I just remember one of the other more concerning beliefs was that he thinks people get sick because they don't have a positive mindset.

When this came up, it pissed me off as people have cancer and all sorts of things. And beside the obvious fact that they don't deserve it, are quite positive despite their circumstances. Yeah, this is tough. And I don't understand how you could get into a relationship with someone like this and not know that this is their situation. Right?

Like I have been on first dates where I get to the point and I'm like, oh, this isn't going to work because like you don't seem to under like, there's not a lot going on behind the eyes. Yes and no because the thing is if otherwise he's kind of getting by and he can go to work and work a pretty good job and all this stuff. It might not be that he's like dumb per se but all the things that he's upset about are very politically like leaning these days. are very politically like leaning these days. You know what I mean? It's like if you follow like right wing people really like to be flat earth or anti-vaxxers like climate denier and anti-evolutionist. That's all the things that are mentioned here.

So it's like, is he just kind of like mentally fine apart from being right wing? Yeah, it's I mean, he these his way of like slowly like trickle truthing his right wingness to you because like a lot of people, they really don't like to let you know. Like if you look at any dating show with right wing men, they're like, yeah, well, I never really thought about politics. It's like you fucking have and you know, you'll just get like people upset with you and you're going to

wait until it's too late to be like, lol, voted for Trump. Yeah, it's too late to be like lol voted for Trump Yeah, it's the thing like I just I don't understand how like again how you could date someone Hmm to the point where you are an exclusive relationship where none of this has come up prior to like yeah Cuz I talk about dinosaurs date. You're always talking about was it Churchill as well actually, yes like Cuz like I'm sure these are like the big examples, right? Like, I'm sure these are like the the big ones, but I'm sure there are smaller

things that have come up where like, what do you mean you don't know that? What do you mean you don't know? Like, but maybe not. Maybe it's just these things. If it's these specific things and that's it, then I think I would probably agree with you that this is someone who is like Radicalized far-right and also like QAnon crazy. Yes. Yes, that's the thing I don't think there's any look you should break up with them regardless I'm sorry like can you imagine having to have the most basic ass conversations with someone? No one

I'm not gonna do that. That's the thing is that she also says that like she has to explain a third of the conversations with someone? No, one. I'm not going to do that. That's the thing is that she also says that, like, she has to explain a third of the conversations, right? So it's so maybe it's I'm inclined to believe that there's a lot that this person is like, I've never I don't know what that is. I've never heard that before. But even just like if you are like

ignorant or like, you know, for some reason, you just didn't hear about X, Y, or Z, but you're willing to learn that's very different world to be like dinosaurs. Haven't seen them. Yeah. What do you believe in? Car? Yeah. I believe in car. I believe in couch. I believe in house. There's a lot of things that like- Do you believe in atoms? Do you believe in like diseases?

Like obviously not. You get to see them yourself? Yeah. Because there's a lot of stuff that you haven't seen. Or will not be able to. You probably haven't seen whales. Yeah, do you believe in whales? Do they not exist? Like there's there's a lot of shit you probably haven't seen. Like are just like whole swaths of the world's non-existent. You've never seen Africa. Have you been on holidays? Do you think Irish people are a myth?

Like, yeah, it's it's I this is tough. OK, does he have object permanence when you walk around the corner, does he go? Yeah. Have you tried playing peekaboo with him? See how he reacts. And I don't want to mock people for being unintelligent. No, because I don't think that's what's going on here. I think there's a level of willful ignorance or like toxicity to this. I don't think he's just dumb.

But even if like if someone is not at your level be it kindness, empathy, fun, energy, you know, sexuality, fucking libido, intelligence, if you're not a match there's nothing wrong it's you can break up with people for pretty much any reason, some better than others but this is a totally reasonable one to do. If you are getting frustrated by having the same conversation or conversations are painful, because imagine like raising a child with this person. And that's something that you're looking forward to. Right. Like if you want to have a kid with this person, is he going to be like,

Daddy, why is the sky blue paint? Yeah. Or even just like small things like, oh, I didn't know that kids couldn't drink bleach. Like no one ever seen. No one. No one ever told me that they couldn't drink bleach. You know what I mean? Like, like is it that level of like, well, like if he has a positive mindset, the bleach won't harm him. That's another thing. Right. Like your vaccines are off the table. All that you're you're at a sort of like ideological standstill of, of if you want to raise a family with this man, you are going to have to essentially make sure he doesn't kill your kid for a very long period of time.

You're also going to be raising two children. Yeah. Like you're going to have to teach him things and then teach the kid. Yeah. Right. Like I think that's I think that's a really good like litmus test of being like would I trust and like I'm not going to put the kid just being like would I trust him to take care of a pet? Would I trust him with my dog with my cat because or like you what if you get ill or something? And they have to like look after you be it temporarily or yeah, like a longer like Imagine he had to get you your medicine Mitch mentioned five different medicines Could he do that or would he be like no just listen this song up?

Yeah, is he like damn didn't know you were so negative turn that frown upside down yeah it's like I wouldn't be able to do it yeah I don't think it's healthy yeah like this the things like it's there are there are some troubling things here that we can make jokes at the fact that he doesn't believe me dinosaurs well it's got point big lizards just wandering around, got killed by a rock. That sounds insane. That sounds crazy. OK, I've been around the world, never fucking seen one.

It's true. So also never seen a meteor. Exactly. Right. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Also, what big if it just hit the earth and yo-yoed from dinosaurs brain to just smacked all of them like fucking Captain America Shields went around the world, bludgeoning all the doors. What is it Santa? It's Santa who guess what guess what no guess guess fucking what hold on take a minute guess what what never seen that fucker either Actually, he might have you might have seen him in a mall and been like Santa exists

Right there. Yeah, he comes every year. He's so nice Yeah, and every ball I go to he's there So of course he can get around the whole fucking world. He does it all the time. I've seen it. That's the thing. We've seen a lot of things he doesn't believe in. I want to know what he does believe in. What does he believe in, right? That's the important thing for me.

Is it Santa? Is it like lizard people? Is it like, you know, what are his religious views? Does he believe in God? Cause I'm betting that he hasn't seen that motherfucker. Yeah. These are things that like, yes, right? If someone said, oh, I don't believe in dinosaurs, I'd be like, okay, so the fossils at museums, what are they?

Are they just made up? Does he believe in museums? Also, if someone said this shit to me, I wouldn't stop and be like, what do you mean? Or I would be like, what do you mean? But I wouldn't just be like, you can't just say that you don't believe in dinosaurs. Yes Give me a reason do you think that dinosaurs are a hoax? Yeah, like that we just all collectively got together and started making cool lizard Oh, like how arrogant is this man that he's like look people have studied this shit for decades

thousands of years, you know, I mean? Astrologers, astronomers, geologists, geographists, like archaeologists, all these people are still going to go with my gut on this one. What do you somehow what do you work as if someone, if the accounting team gives you figures, you go, hold on, let me whip out my calculator. I don't believe you. Does he believe in numbers? And also just the fact that like this dude goes through school. As a Canadian, I learned who Winston Churchill is.

Yeah. So I can't believe that growing up in the UK, that at no point in time, I like I can't. He's got to have walked by a statue of him. I was going to say, there's probably like 19 things called the Winston Churchill something or other per street in England So I cannot believe that this man has never heard the name Winston Churchill Also, you've never seen a TV show or a movie like it's one of the most recognizable names I don't care if you don't know who he is, right? Yeah, if you don't know who he is That's a failing of the education sure but if you're like never heard the name Who's that?

Like, what do you mean? Also go listen to No Jobs for the Wicked. Yeah, it's so bad. Yeah. And I think this, I really do think you do need to challenge him on, be like, okay, if dinosaurs don't exist, what's in the museum?

Never seen them. What's in the museum? What's in the museum? Yeah, right? Like, that's it. I think it's just gonna get to that point never been there. I don't know could be made up What why yeah, why would they be possibly made up what who's benefiting from this story of big lizards? I think that's sort of like just going forward No, you just can't jump them. You can't that's I mean more as like

Socially and collectively as a society. When people say something stupid, you have to be like, what do you mean? Or why are they doing that? Because a lot of people are like, oh, you know, the liberals are lying to you about this. Why? What do they get at it? It was like when COVID was like, oh, the vaccine is going to kill everyone.

Why? Why would they do that? Why? What do they gain from this? Also, like the right wing kind of like being able to once be like liberals or pussies and they suck and they don't get anything done. And you got to go right wing all the way while also being like, they are super criminals who've made this worldwide catastrophe to kill everyone.

And they control the weather. It's like, which is it? Which is, are they the coolest fucking craziest supervillains where they're like, oh, we control the weather and we've poisoned the world. Fuck you. It's like which is it? Which is are they the coolest fucking craziest super villains where they're like, oh we control the weather And we've poisoned the world fuck you. It's like cool. Like I would be terrified if I fully believed Yeah, cuz I'd be like wow, I cannot fight against this like James Bond esque super villain organization But then the next day they're like their pussy. They don't nothing get that it done. I'm like can't get anything done They organized a worldwide poisoning ring. What are you talking about? Which one is it? They're controlling the weather what so they do have good science in which case Why don't we trust them? Yeah? Yeah, it's it's just so fucking stupid. It is really dumb. Let's turn into a weird political rant. Yeah Let's get one quick one in here then that's what she said

This is back on it boys petite curious My libido has been dead for two years but now that my boyfriend and I are taking a break I'm horny as fuck. What the hell is this? We've been in a relationship for five and a half years. Living together for two and a half years. At the beginning of our relationship we were long distance and I was horny all the time. When we saw each other we would have sex multiple times a day. Then my libido decreased little by little and and by about two years now, I was completely uninterested in sex. Never wanted to have sex, never feeling aroused, nothing.

I could go months without having sex. We're having issues with my boyfriend, and decided to take, now, I assume this was two separate thoughts, because you say we're having issues with my boyfriend, which means it seems to imply that there's another person involved in. I think she was going for we're having issues, and then, you know, just, I thought it seems to imply that there's another person involved in. Yeah. I think she was going for, we're having issues.

And then, you know, just, I thought it was weird. We're having issues with my boyfriend and decided to take a break and think about our relationship. I moved out on March 5th. We saw each other again this Saturday, March 15th and had sex. Now I can't stop thinking about it. I find myself just like the beginning of our relationship, thinking about him constantly and imagining us having passionate sex. I'm so horny. I haven't felt

that way in a long time. I know such a distance and not seeing him because I went abroad a couple of times without him for a few weeks and I didn't feel that way. I don't know what's happening to me. Well, I'm assuming that the issues that were bad enough that you're taking a break and the fact that you've lost your libido are intrinsically linked. I'm imagining your home life or your sex life or something is out of whack. And either you have this huge like weight at home, whether it be like disrespect or like more chores or whatever. Like, is he a baby that expects you to fucking clean up after him or something like that

is just eroding your your sexuality and then leading to all these other issues. And now you're finally broken free of that. And you've got to have sex with him with no strings attached. Like you didn't have to do anything you would have to do at home. You just got to have sex while also probably feeling confused and sad and scared and contemplating a future without them. And it's contemplating a future without someone that you tend to remember the good stuff. That's it. Right? Like I think that you're also, you've put yourself in a situation where like hierarchy of needs tend to push sex as a necessity down the list as you, as a relationship goes longer, right? You get more comfortable. You feel like, you know, shelter and comfort and

companionship and like all those things kind of like become more important than the sex. Not that sex is in a valuable and important part of a relationship, but like sort of, I find that like, you know, that, that burning desire to like fuck is obviously not going to be the same as when you started to five years in, right? Like it's, it's always going to happen. Like that, that initial sort of like, when you first meet someone, you can't get enough of them to think that that's going to persist over years of relationship is an unreal expectation. Let's not say that you can't still find your partner just as attractive or whatever.

It's not a surprise that sexual... Yeah, you know it everyone knows it decreases in longer relationships. Sometimes to not much, sometimes to whatever. But like that's fine if you're okay with it and you're happy with it. Which it's funny, we don't really get... knows it decreases in longer relationships, sometimes to not much, sometimes to whatever. But like that's fine if you're okay with it and you're happy with it, which it's funny. We don't really get, we don't know where she's standing if that was good or not. But one thing that can kill sexual desire is what I was saying, which is problems, issues at home if things aren't going well, which again, probably not because you're on a break. If

you're on a break. Yes. But one of the things you see the most often is you could have a completely dead bedroom. But the second you break up, all you want to do is fuck that person. Because you've lost it. And as I was saying, there's something that, for whatever reason, kicks us in the ass. Whereas you might be in a relationship where you are unhappy with the person,

and you haven't had sex with them for months or whatever, and then you break up and then all of a sudden, it's like you're thinking about them naked and fucking them. And it's just something that I think it's a coping mechanism. I think it's a thing that we regret in terms of like, we often don't appreciate the stuff that we have until it's gone as well. So I think it's a combination of what you're saying, right? Like you obviously have these problems, you're on's a combination of what you're saying, right?

Like you obviously have these problems. You're on a break. You say you're having issues. So that's probably contributing to the fact that you don't want to have sex. But now that you can't have sex, quote unquote, now that you're on a break, quote unquote, you want it because it's not readily available.

And also you're removed from the issues. From the bad stuff, yeah. And I'll bet when you met up It probably wasn't to fuck you probably weren't like okay. We're on a break give it ten days. Oh you want fuck It was probably like look Let's meet up and chat and then like one thing led to another and it was probably like Impromptu and kind of hot like were you tearing each other's clothes off was it? You know, I would like to know like maybe you did maybe it was just like maybe was it you guys have been a lot

Like you and you were like, I want to fuck you. Like, was it like a sexy like maybe there's like a level of a lesson to be learned here about desire and expressing it. Right. Like who contacted who? Yeah. Right. Does does he not put in much of an effort? Do you not put in much of an effort was the fact that you then contacted him looking for sex enough to sort of like throw a fucking match on the can of gasoline like what was what's this break? Are you broken up? Are you do you have the ability? Not even if you're doing that. But like, is that on the table? Yeah. Because if that's on the table, maybe you're thinking about that. Maybe it's exciting because you have the possibility whether or not you're taking it. You could go to a bar, you could

hit up Tinder, you could do whatever and fuck someone. Is that titillating you as well? Is that like kind of freedom? Because like that's always been a fun part of being single to me is like you've the breakup and you're miserable and it sucks, you know, depending on how it went down. But then even in the midst of that sadness,

there's that little excited spark in you that's like anything could happen. Anything could happen, right? Which is the fun of being single. So like, is into it too or are you flip side? Are you worried that he's doing that? Mm-hmm, and now you want to sort of secure Secure hit that bad spot. He's the bag. Yeah, I don't know It's there's so much and you haven't given us enough, but I think it makes sense given everything we're saying There are a million reasons why they could all apply

or just one or two. But I think what you need to do is examine, were you okay with this sexless life? Does it play into this other issue? And if so, what would you want to change that? Is it that he's a selfish lover? Is it that one of you doesn't initiate? Is it that you're swamped with fucking housework?

You know what I mean? Take this time to like really analyze all that. And then when you're considering getting back together, make sure that you put that out there. And if he's unwilling to meet you, then it doesn't matter how horny you are apart, go be horny with some new people. Yeah. Yeah. That's going to do it for this week's episode, friends. Thank you very much for hanging out with us. Thanks for listening. There's a bunch of stuff that you could do, like support us on Patreon. Please. a bunch of stuff that you could do, like support us on Patreon. Please. We fell behind this month because of some some stuff that happened on my end, where we just like scheduling was a fucking nightmare.

We are going to do it. We're going to make up. You're going to get your your March episode and your or your February episode and your March episode. It's it's all going to work out in the wash. We haven't lost. We're just delayed. So and we have something fun planned for Patreon. Our next episode. Should we let people know ahead of time so they can watch along with us? Or should they watch? I went to a brawl. No, I think I think it is beneficial to watch it. We're doing a I guess like review.

We're doing we're doing a spiral. Yeah. Of a movie called My Fault. Now there are two My two my faults on Amazon One is the English version one is the Spanish version. We are doing the original the Spanish Spanish version Yes, I've watched a little bit of the it's called my fault London. That's the wrong one. That's the wrong Don't watch my fault. Yeah, and if it's not in English, then you're you're good Yeah, but you watch with subtitles or dubs. I watch it with dubs. Actually, no, wait. I think I also watch it with dubs.

Either way, it's insane. And I love it. I didn't know what now was making me watch for a bit. And it goes places. It goes to a lot of places. It's kind of like if a porno and the room had sex with Fast and the Furious. I mean, it's a Wattpad.

That's all you need to know about it. Anyway, it's a watt pad like yeah, it's all you need Anyway, it's gonna be a lot of fun. I can't wait to discuss this with you. It's killing me I have all these thoughts my notes on my phone regarding it. Yes. I'm sure they also won't make sense We're I'm worried that I'm gonna start looking at it and be like, what does that mean? But yeah, thank you. We love you and Thanks for my bye. It. We do this for you. Ready for some bad sex. I want you to get comfy. Dane, you're not allowed.

Just a little. Okay. You stay in this weird pose you're in. Yeah. This is by Wilbur Smith, 1990. Not the song, but the book is called Golden Fox. When she returned to the small starkly furnished living room, she asked Ramon, do you want me tonight? Ramon nodded.

She was over 40 years of age. However, her belly was flat and her thighs were firm and powerful. She had never given birth and she had extraordinary muscular control. At his request, she often excited him with a little trick. Guess what the trick is? A fucking backflip. I wish. He would hold one end of a lead pencil while she snapped it in half with a spasmodic constriction

of her vaginal sphincter. She was an adept, one of the most natural intuitive lovers he had ever known. Furthermore, she was terrified of him, which enhanced both her pleasure and his. What end of the pencil was going in there? Yeah, it's bad. It's terrible. How did he come back out? But, here's the thing.

This is why you don't stop going to the gym. So when you're 40, you can fucking just snap whatever gets put inside you. Why is she terrified of him? I'd be terrified of her. Seriously, if a woman was like, yeah, because pencils aren't thick, right? She could contract to get to that level with that force. That force gone. That's my dick. Go on. I'm sorry. There's no amount. I don't care what I was doing.

I could be fucking like juggling knives and have like a live grenade in my mouth. And that woman would not be scared of me. No. Also, it's super toxic to be like, she's terrified of me. That's bad, man. Oh, I thought you were gonna say it's super toxic to put pencils inside. Yeah, they did say lead pencil, too. I don't know. Is he mixing up his graphite or is it literally? He's going back and finding like those 1930s pencils. Like, let's get you real sick This woman's not 40. She's just so much land inside of a giant. I've been your fuck buddies My name is Dave Miller and I'm not but we've been your fuck buddies. I've been both You