F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 338 - Bedroom Rock Bottom

Episode Date: April 7, 2025

Put this episode on your Facebook shortcuts because you're going to want to come back to it.  Topics include secret sniffing, breaking her, Facebook's top five, defective pubic hair.

I put my trust in you and I'm trusting out love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love I put my trust in you and I'm trusting out love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love Hello friends, my name is Damon Lert And I'm Niles Payne And we're the Fuck Buddies We are a dating and sex advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations and put

them on sexy, sticky situations. We put them on sexy. We put them on it. Okay. Damn, Dan, you've outdone yourself for this intro. Simply put, because we need to put it simply after that, we answer your sex and egg advice questions right here, right now. What do we put them on?

We put them on sexy, sticky situations. Yeah, exactly. How's everyone doing? I just braved the blizzard to get here. Yeah, and it's a classic Canadian April weather. Yeah, April blizzard The April Fool's do so good that it's on another day Yeah, that's the that's the true jokester spirit Canada. The funny thing is it was kind of nice yesterday. It was quite nice Yeah, yeah, it was like oh you you thought second winter was over Blizzard you idiot in Pelt in the eye with hellstone. It sucks shit It was quite nice yesterday. Yeah. So it was like, oh, you thought second winter was over? Blizzard. You idiot.

You're being pelted in the eye with hailstones. You dumb bitch. It sucks. Shit. Yeah, so I'm a little damp. I'm a little sad and I'm happy to be here for you. You ready? What question are we going to talk about this week?

Dan, we're going to talk about, is it okay if I never share my kink with my partner? I'm afraid I'll break her. Boyfriend hides current post-it pic from one specific girl. So something wrong with my vagina. This is by OKC6030. Is it okay if I, 24 year old male, never share my kink with my partner, 23 year old female, because I'm afraid it's too weird.

I don't know why. I read this earlier and thought the genders were flipped and now it just feels like a different question to me. Okay. I don't know why, it's just funny. You know what I mean? Shouldn't matter. Is it okay if I, 24, you get it,

never share my kink with my partner because I'm afraid it's too weird. First off, I don't want to hear bullshit about how nothing's too weird. Kink shaming is wrong. Should be able to share anything. I've watched this subreddit take up the viewpoint until there's a post where someone actually has a weird gross fetish and then the comments change to not going to lie. I would leave you over this. So don't pretend.

I do not want to lose a relationship over a kink. I'm perfectly okay with my kink never being satisfied. However, I've seen other posts on here where people are shocked and hurt they find out deep into a relationship The partner has a horrifying kink they never knew about and now they have the ick or whatever So am I being dishonest if I choose to never share a kink? I'm not willing to risk mentioning for fear. She will never see me the same way again and leave me I'm really upset and angered because the people looking at posts on here seem that people think I'm obligated to Torpedo my relationship by sharing a disgusting fetish in the name of honesty, even though there could be relationship suicide

I don't even want to have this fetish or even be satisfied or ever have it be satisfied I didn't ask to be its way. Are they not gonna tell us what the king don't worry They tell us later. Okay, what it's worth the fetish is having my face sat on but specifically I like the domination slash Making you smell my ass aspect of it. You may think that's not weird, but a lot of people that's beyond tolerable, even just being something mentioned. I wish I could be normal. Okay. I mean, face sitting is very common. A pretty, I would say I don't want to say the word like common. I don't want to say the word normal, but I like vanilla. It's

cool. I don't think it's like. It's not unheard of. And I certainly wouldn't put it in the disgusting, shameful category of. The thing is, I do understand that there's a twist with Therking in that the face sitting is like ass-centric as opposed to vagina-centric, right? I would wager that a lot of face sitting, whether intentional or not, is ass-centric.

Like it might not be butthole-centric, but it is ass. Like, I think the idea of weight of ass on, like you can go down on a person, but like the idea of having someone sit on your face, like it's sit, you sit with your butt. Yeah, but like if someone's, like the average I would say,

sitting on face experience is with them Like it's like a cowgirl position. Yeah, and then I think this is more of a reverse cowgirl position Which I think is a less common version of face-sitting, but I'm not by much I would wager and this maybe this is just me as a butt man Mm-hmm, but if a woman is sitting on my face, my hands are on her butt, right? Like I think I think your butt is the star of the show, no matter where. But you're completely missing the point. I understand. Like he's not saying I want your butt to be near my face,

but on the opposite side of your body so I can touch it. Yeah. He's saying I want you know, I get asshole on my nose. But those are very different things. So and even like grabbing an ass versus fingering an ass. Sure. Versus licking out an ass. All very different, you I'm saying is, so you're you're making a bad argument. What I'm saying is,

I don't think if someone says face sitting, I don't immediately think one way or the other. I think they're interchangeable. You don't think it's it's the standard like, I don't think there's too much of a difference. I don't think one is, oh risque. No, I think I just think it's the default.

No, I think in my brain and in terms of like, if I'm looking at porn and there's like a face setting thing, I think you're probably getting a 50-50 split of like which direction they're facing, right? So I don't think it's inherently not ass or ass sent, right? I think in my experience, if I anytime I've asked someone to sit on my face, I feel like it's,

I don't know what direction they're coming at me. No, for me, it would be heavily, I would would say almost every time unless we're specifically changing things up It's just like a normal like dog or a cowgirl kind of yeah position No I think a lot of that is like if you're on a bed you have to Specifically maneuver to get them to sit reverse cowgirl if there's like a headboard behind you, right? Yeah Where is like so it's just easy, you know, yeah Also, it's like that's where the clit is most easily accessible if someone's like sitting up.

Yeah. Right. So it's like it just seems to make sense that way. So in my opinion, you just flipping a face sitting to be the other way around is very much not a big deal. No. And like, look, I understand that like there is like you said, there's that sort of like humiliation aspect of like, you know, but it's just something that's like, like you wouldn't be like, oh, it's absolutely abhorrent to think about eating ass when it's like, that is so mainstream at this point in time. That's the thing. Like I maybe face sitting 20 years ago was like, oh, yeah.

But like at this point, even ass eating is pretty common. Yeah. You got to eat the booty like groceries. In our pop culture, like it's ingrained in our. Yeah, gonna eat the booty like groceries Yeah, in our pop culture like it's ingrained in our yeah, it's a classic line Shakespearean almost yeah So I think this conversation in my opinion is moot because he says I don't want to do it I don't want it satisfied. Yes, so it's like that's we've gotten sidetracked by trying to like kink Reassure, I guess. So like at the end of the day, you I agree with you. You don't need to bring this up.

If this is not something you ever want to act on and it's not something you want to participate in and it's not something that needs to be satisfied for your happiness, what the fuck does it matter? Yeah. Like I think the issue is he's worried that eventually if it comes out. Which one? How? Yeah, you're not going to accidentally, I I guess maybe porn searches if they see them sure But like the nice thing about porn is that like you can watch stuff that like you might not Typically want to do yeah, right like that's that's the the joy of porn of being like every now

And then you'll fall down in like a weird like rabbit hole. What's this like? Okay? Yeah, I mean you want to do it. Yeah And yeah on top of that it's like if your partner is Unable to get past you being worried of it being like shameful They're probably an asshole and two I think the main issue here is like if they found out you secretly wanted to do this thing and never told them They'd be like well, we could have been doing this thing You probably don't like our sex life blah blah blah blah blah

So it brings us back to what they were saying was if you don't mind if you don't care and sex life, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So it brings us back to what Dane was saying was if you don't mind, if you don't care and you tell them this and they believe you, then it's fine. They're not going to care. Will they believe you? I don't know. Are you being honest to yourself? I don't know. Yeah. I mean, in my opinion, I don't think it's, it's not necessary. Like I don't think you have to tell your partner everything you don't want to do. No. You know what I mean? Like I don't go over to my partner and be like,

hey, just a heads up. I don't want to be pegged and then like wander off. Well, there's another thousand things you have to add to that list. Yes. Yeah. It's like everything I'm not interested in doing and everything I don't want to satisfy. Those aren't necessary things to communicate. If it was flipped around where it's like, oh, I literally don't enjoy sex because I don't want to do this

I'm so ashamed of myself then you got a whole new Yeah can of worms right and I think you ought to really be honest is I think you were implying being like this Is really how you feel? Yes Or is this the cover-up for your shame that you feel about something and you're trying to convince yourself that you don't want this Yeah, because like the kink is a thing you want to do. It's kind of in the like, you know, I mean, like maybe

it's scary to do it in real life, but like you are turned on by it. Ergo, you are like, you know, there is some part of you that wants to do it. Yeah. So I want you to be honest with yourself, because if this comes out later and like the bad parts of

this are if it comes out later and you use as like a weaponizing chip where like we've been together for five years, you've never even engaged in my kink that I never told you about. And I've been sexually unsatisfied. Then you're a piece of shit. If you later on are like, well, we never engaged in this. I can't do this relationship. Then you're kind of a piece of shit. You know what I mean? If you're genuine about like it being cool that you don't ever do it,

then it's fine that you don't tell them, you know what I mean? And if they're weird about not knowing this thing that you didn't ever do it, then it's fine that you don't tell them. You know what I mean? And if they're weird about not knowing this thing that you didn't want to do again, I think when they hear it, they're probably not going to believe you because I think they're going to err on where we're at, which is like, you do want to do a kink in some way. It's also weird to like tell someone, be like, hey, I have a kink that I have no interest in in participating. It's like it feels more like you're just scared of doing it.

Now, here's a question for you. How morally gray is it if you say, oh oh like sit on my face and like be like, oh turn around though Like it's a better angle or something which is you kind of getting into your kink, but you're not disclosing I want to be sniffing your ass kind of deal You know, I mean like yeah, you could do that and I think it's a very normal thing I think it only becomes a little bit different if you're like Oh, I really want to smell your ass kind of deal. Is that shitty? Is that shady?

It could be shitty to me. Yeah, because I was saying the same thing. I was like, you could also like bend them over and eat them out from behind where it's like, you know, your nose is directly in ass town. Yeah, I don't know, because if they're getting pleasure out of it, they're enjoying it. And really really like it is a victimless crime at that point because like yeah Like you're no I have eaten someone out from behind before and I don't particularly enjoy Sniffing ass. Mm-hmm, but that doesn't mean I didn't do it. What's everyone's clean? It's all good You know, it's like like I was doing it because I wanted to eat her pussy from behind Yeah, and it just so happened that my nose has to be

in a butt to do it. I've been in numerous, like numerous. Numerous. Numerous situations where again, like either from behind or like they're sitting in that reverse cowgirl thing. And it's like, nose is there, ass is there, you know, but it's not a thing I'm actively engaging in. Yeah, it's just-

So does it change if I am and I'm not? Yeah, I don't know. It's weird because it feels to me like you could just not bring up the ass sniffing do the other things and then whatever But it feels a little slimy to not be like yes It does but I mean like I guess it's the same thing as like I don't know like Being in a sex position and like imagining a thing. You know, I mean like sure it's I don't really know like imagining a thing. You know, I mean, like, like, it's I don't really know specifically how

to explain what I'm trying to do. It's like you're not like you're not making them do anything extra. Yeah. And presumably you're not doing anything extra either. Yeah. Right. I think it's weird if you feel like if you get a little weird, but if

you're like, yes, I mean, like you make if you make his nose meal out of the. Yeah. Right. Or if you like start to nuzzle your nose in, because I think Touching is a an area of consent. You know, I mean, yeah if you're just butt adjacent Sure, if you're actually engaging in anal play without discussing it, I think that's different

Yes And I guess it depends on like how much of the kink requires the degradation aspect of it Like do you will you get nothing out of it because she's not? Making you do it. You know, I mean like it's because well, they said domination less so degradation Okay, and I think maybe just the the simple act of like being sad upon is yeah dominant But I think like domination such as sit like again, it's it's shitty ranking kinks But I think we all understand that like domination is pretty standard. You know what I mean? Yes. Right. Like it's not no one's like, whoa, like, yeah, I would say like of domination,

for example, pegging pretty common in the parlance of our times. But like maybe not as common for people to admit that they engage in kind of thing. But it's familiar. Whereas like if someone's like getting tied up, nobody, I want to be spanked. I want to be held down. Yeah. Even choking. It's like nobody cares, right? It's so commonplace at this point. And that's not to say that you don't take the precautions when doing these. So you say it every time you got to do it safely or don't do it at all. OK, it doesn't matter if it's fucking commonplace.

It should be commonplace. You do a fucking safely. Yeah, it's we're just saying that like, but yeah, it's like during my last stint as a as a single fellow, I would say every partner that I hooked up with wanted me to be in a dominating role, right? Like it's I don't think there was a single person was like, I don't really enjoy that. Yeah. So at the very least would be shocked or like unclear about what it is to a degree. So I think broaching that part super easy. And if you're like, I want you to sit on my face and like,

I'm going to be like subservient to you and like pleasure you. That's going to be a pretty easy sell, I imagine. Right. Yeah. Again, it does feel a little weird to not mention that you're into a part of it. But like, again, do you have to do you have to be like, also, I like your ass smell. Like if you want them to be unclean, I think that's yes. If you're trying to like spring it on them when you just got home from somewhere or like making me the

bunch of curry or something. And then you're like, oh, we got to do this. I think that's weird. But like if it's just the fact that you're near an ass that's happening anyway. Yeah. And then maybe afterwards, you can be like, I found it really hot.

Yeah, that was really hot. I really like that. You know, like so it's like, I don't know how granular you need to be because like, it's not going to be a surprise that your nose is in their asshole area. Yeah. Afterwards, bodies made, you know, and like arguably, that's going to be the part that they'd be most insecure about in this.

So like if you're like, I found it really hot, they'll just probably get over it. Yeah. You know, so I don't know. It still feels weird to be like, I don't know if even dishonest secret secret. Yeah Yeah, you know But again if you are okay with never exploring it genuinely and honestly and you won't Boon or reverse that later into like, you know some kind of like power play. That's fine but I like again like I'm thinking like if I had sort of like a

Dominant thing and I really wanted that I really like the idea of like a woman on her knees giving him a blowjob. And my partner was doing it. I don't think I'm a bad person. That's something that they are doing feeds into something like a kink of mine. Right. Like I don't like I think that just kind of like if it happens naturally, if everyone is just doing it, I get what you're saying. And I do agree. But there is like if it was like a secret third thing added to the audience, you know what I mean? Like I don't, I don't know.

Yeah. I don't know why it feels weird. I agree with you. Like you're right. It arguably isn't. Yeah. Like if all the pieces are just falling into place, then like, I guess cause you're constructing it in a way. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. This comes from decent menu. I was about to read that word menu in a crazy way Yeah, like I for whatever reason it just like didn't look like a real word. Yeah. Well, hey, let me tell you I do Whatever. So I Bolded the wrong the reason I fucked up the intro is cuz I bolded the first sentence of the question instead of the question Title and I was like fuck

Title And I was like, huh, fuck. Why did I, why? I was like, that's not a title. This is decent menu. I'm afraid I will break her. I, a male 24 year old have been with my girlfriend, a female 22, for about four months. She's incredible and I love her so much. She has recently mentioned that she wants me to be a bit more rough in bed, which I don't mind at all.

Who doesn't like, love it rough sometimes. But I am a 198 centimeter, big burly dorky guy. My job is to lift heavy stuff and manage machinery. She is 155 centimeters and has a tiny frame, no more than 55 kilograms. I hate when people look, I'm a metric guy. I've always worked in metric. I don't know what any of that fucking means. My hands are my two hands almost fit around her waist.

The last time a few times we were together and she we did the deed. I was going to be more rough and throw around a bit no need for details how that all works And I just couldn't focus on the sex and I can't explain it other than I was afraid I will end up hurting her by throwing her around every time I lift her up more roughly I try or tried to hold her by the neck and choke her a little I was only thinking that if I or what happens if I would hurt her she means so much to me And I want to please her but I can't get that beer out of my head. She's so small and I feel like I'll break her.

She's strong and smart and beautiful. And she's a little firecracker in bed. It's so much fun. How do I get out of my head? There's no talk of safe words here. So first off, buddy, a really good way to know if you're going to hurt someone or whatever is implementing safe words so that if you are choking, for example, there's a way to be like,

oh, you're going too far. So like flat out, put that in too. Like, I love what we get because it's not literal. You're not going to hook her across the room. You know what I mean? And also, like throwing somebody around is a very vague term. You need to ask her what she means, what she wants out of this. You know what I mean? Because it's just like you're going to lift her up and press her against the wall. You're not gonna hurt her doing that.

And that's a very like manhandly, unless you're living like fucking- Like very bad things, like impaling her on a fucking coat hook or whatever it was. And I haven't seen the movie, but you know, or like, you know, the rock. Oh, you know, you're not trying to put her through the wall. It's like a domination, like showing your physical

kind of like nature over them. It doesn't mean inherent violence. And it's a demonstration of strength and like power. You're also so much bigger than her. You don't have to do anything physically, technically to dominate her. Right. Like just standing close to her or like, like you said, like holding her against the wall. Like there doesn't need to be roughness to be rough.

Yeah. If like there needs to be to be roughness to be rough. Yes. If like there needs to be like forcefulness in terms of like confidence. Yeah. And if you put someone in a position versus saying, oh, hey, could you could you bend over? That's it. But you're not like fucking taking their knees out and like, you know, down to the bed. There's you have the benefit of like inherent size over her. So like something as simple as just like

putting her hand on her back as you're like fuck her in doggy style, it's like hold her down, like pinning her arms down. Yeah, fucking her. And it's like, again, talk about all this first because you don't want someone who to realize that they like get a panicky feeling

from being like restrained. Yeah. You know what I mean? And again, have safe words so that if they do, and they didn't realize it prior, they can stop this. But like, there are very easy, easy ways to do this without again, running any risk of hurting anyone or breaking them. And you say like, your big thing is like, Oh, how do I get out of my head? The best way to get out of your head is to verbalize your concerns.

You say you love this girl. You say you want to protect her. You say you have a great sex life, blahah blah blah blah blah. Great. Say like hey I heard that you want me to be a little rougher. I'm worried that because of our size difference. Did she not say it to him? Yeah. It's just the way you say it. I heard it. Like yeah. It's just very funny. Yeah it's like you know. So I've been talking to Sandra and she says. I know you want me to be rougher. Yeah. Here my concerns with this. I would love to accommodate it, but I wanted to hurt you Yes, but you know, I'm worried that my size that like, you know

So I need to sort of like know your limits and like now said like also both safe words specifically What are you looking for? One what are you like safe words? Like it's so easy. You want to be choked You want to be spanked? Yeah, you want me to you know, hold you down? Like what should I fucking rock bottom you? Yeah. How many times do you want me to fucking stone cold stunner you? Yeah, like it is very easy and it's good that you're having this conversation, but it's bad that that conversation, that communication ended and now you're here. You know, it's good that you're asking for advice,

but the ideal thing would be you guys discuss this because she's opened these channels of communication. She's broaching what she wants and it shouldn't stop there. You know, I mean it should continue So you're both comfortable and you both know what you're getting into you're on the same page you're doing things safe and this idea of like Being broken might be what she's looking for right like in the in the like sort of abstract idea of like she might want to be just like absolutely like manhandled and railed by you and like, sure. And she has the capability of handling that. Right.

Like, again, that's what you need to talk because you might think, oh, be rough for me is like a really hard spank or like even a face slap or a choking or a hair pulling. And like, those are all very different things that require different skills that may be a yuck or a yum for her, depending. And you definitely don't want to do anything rough without like clear, specific safety tools and to consent. Yeah. So it's easy, but you need to

communicate. You really just need to like open and clarity is like if you're like, oh, I'm really worried I'm going to, I'm going to hurt you or whatever. And she's like, I want you to don't be like, okay. Right? Like that's that's the launch. Get the sledgehammer. Like you need the you need to like

I get upset about this all the time where I'm like, why did you stop having that conversation? Yeah. You know, I mean, it's like you have to keep going until you don't have any more questions. If you if you have more things that you want to ask, keep asking until

you're like, OK, I'm 100 percent confident in what you're looking for and what I'm capable of doing and what your boundaries are and what my boundaries are. Because again, so that we're doing it all safe. She might be asking for something that you don't want to do, that you might be like, if I do that, I will hurt you regardless of like what safe words, regardless of what we put in place. Like if you're asking me to do X, Y and Z, I am not confident that I can do that safely. Then you pull the plug on it. You say, unfortunately, I'm not comfortable doing that.

I don't want to hurt you. And I know that you're excited by that. And I know you think you can handle it. But I'm worried that because of my size or whatever, that this isn't going to go well. And I don't feel safe doing that right now. Yeah. Or even if it is something, you know, you could do safely, but you don't want to do.

Yeah, it doesn't matter. You know, she's like, slap me. And that's just a thing you don't want to do. That is fine. None of this is you never have to, but you don't want to do. Yeah, it doesn't matter. You know, she's like, slap me. And that's just a thing you don't want to do. That is fine. None of this is you never have to do what you don't want to do. Yeah. You know what I mean? So take it slow. Get fucking safety tools in place and move at your own pace. And also, sometimes people ask for things and they don't know what they want.

Yeah. And it's very possible that you say like, oh, what do you want? And she's like, I don't know, be rough with me. And it's like, that's not good enough. Yeah. I mean, I once hooked up with someone who say like, oh, what do you want? And she's like, I don't know, be rough with me. And it's like, that's not good enough. Yeah. I mean, I've, I once hooked up with someone who was like, who really wanted me to like really be rough with her. And I was like, great. Like, let's do say, you know, let's go through all the, all this stuff. And then at one point in time, she's like, I really want to be like

choked against the wall and like slapped in the face. I was like, okay. So I did it. And she was like, I, you know, you can go a little harder. I was like, okay, great. So I went a little harder. She, and then like the, just the next step up. And she was like, I you know, you can go a little harder. I was like, okay great So I went a little harder she and then like the just the next step up and she was like, whoa What are you doing? I was like, do you have that like we are we are escalate if that's too far Yeah, just let me know then now this is the time where we use our safety tools. We communicate We know unless you went from a 1 to 11. Yeah, you know, and I was just like I was like you asked to go harder

Yeah, we we asked like I moved up what I thought was a very, you know, small adjustment. Because it's also it's not a dial. It's yeah. I don't have I don't have like a little switch on my arm that I can go like one, two, three, four, like and being hit with a one and then a two could feel like a five. Yeah, because your your skin is now a little bit more sensitive, you know, like they're. Yeah. So it's like you might technically like to be hit at a two But if I've been hitting you at a like it's yeah, it's it's it's there's so much and I was also like, you know position like maybe

Maybe before you leaned into it. Yeah vice versa. Yeah, it's so hard to figure out and it's just like you You got to take your time. You got to have your question You got to know like be ready, to make adjustments and roll with it. But then like even if in the act, you guys have had like done all your prep work and you know everything and you do a thing and you're like, nope, that's fine. That's great.

That's what safe words are for. Or if she springs something on you, like say you've talked about spanking, hair pulling, pinning down and slapping. Then she pulls out a paddle or something. Yeah. You'd be like, you know what? Like I love that idea. It's really hot. We need to talk about it or something. Yeah. You'd be like, you know what? Like, I love that idea. It's really hot.

We need to talk. Yes. Yeah. And you can like you like part use that as part of a game, right? Like any time someone will bring something up, like I'm not a big anal guy. And there have been times where I've been hooked up with

people and they're like, fuck me in the ass. And I'll just sort of like make them like almost beg for it. And then afterwards be like, hey, just a heads up. I wasn't super comfortable in the in that time. It's like if you want to do that, I need a little bit up. I wasn't super comfortable in that time. It's like, if you want to do that,

I need a little bit more warning. Let's talk about it. Let's have a conversation about it. And like the good thing is when you're being dominant, like she likes you to, you know, take this domineering, like manhandling role. Part of that play, like Dana's saying, you can be like, no, not right now.

Like I'm in charge. Yeah. And make it fun. And then later on have that conversation because then you're not ruining it. And I will say very quickly on that topic, I think a lot of time people are worried about not like ruining it, like not being sexy, not being cool and hot and like discussing it kills it. That's not the case. And if you're dating someone or you're seeing someone or you're sleeping with someone and like you trying to be safe or be communicative and they're like,

it's ruining it. You don't want to sleep with that person. I was once with someone who was incredibly hot, incredibly attracted to her and she had a CNC, like a consensual non-consent thing, but was unwilling to set boundaries and discussions and seemed to just want to be like, I just, we'll just do it. No, no. Especially not that. Yeah. Without the boundaries and the rules and everything, then it's just- It's just not consent. Yeah. Yeah, it's just it's just not consent. Yeah, just NC. Yeah. So I got a very like, come on, like man up, like let's just do it thing from her, which sucked because again, I really wanted to continue to sleep with her.

But she really wanted to do this thing, wasn't willing and having these like safety discussions. And then it just fizzled as a result. And I'm like, that's fine, because I would rather not have sex with you anymore than go to jail. Yeah. You know. Yeah. So, yeah, you you because I would rather not have sex with you anymore than go to jail. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Um, so yeah, you, you know what you need to do, do you? Yeah. Maybe listen to what we said. Then you'll know. Yeah. Why you need to do. Hello, it's Dane here to do the thing which is our break, which is talking about our wonderful sponsor for this week's episode, Silver Wax.

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Once again, that is F buddies 10dies10 FBUDDIES10 FBuddies10 at checkout to save 10% off your next order. Silver wax loved by car owners with no time to clean. Boyfriend hides our current posted pic from one specific girl, who's by NailProfessional 6349. Why did he do that? I don't really have any more context. Also his shortcuts on FBE are 3 girls. What does that mean?

I don't have FBE. What the fuck. What does that mean? I don't have FB. What the fuck does any of that mean? I don't know. How do you hide a certain picture from... You can block like posts from people. Like I know on Facebook for example like a while ago I just blocked family members because I don't really want them seeing me chugging a beer on top of a crane or posting about fuck buddies and then having to explain to my like old ass aunt what the fuck's going on. You know, just whatever. So it's possible.

Is that public? Like, can you see who's being? The only way she could see is if she was on his account. Yeah. Also, what the fuck is that Facebook shortcut? What is a shortcut? I did. That is a thing.

I don't know. The only thing I can think of is like he has, he has somehow like gotten like the web address and made it like a homepage. That's wild. Like if that's the case. That's wild actually. That's an insane thing to do. But it's funny cause they say shortcut on Facebook.

So not one of his shortcuts is Facebook. Yeah. Like did he go on Facebook, find their profiles and then be like, save web page to home screen. Like, is that what you mean by shortcut shortcut cuz like cuz that's why I've Been on Facebook for a very long time and I've never found a way to make a shortcut to someone's profile Like do you mean like most recently searched? That would be more you know, yeah

I don't really know look if you're this weird today when this guy is doing this crazy shit Like I think that like having shortcuts to other women's profiles is weird regardless. Like, I don't care if you're single, even if you're single, having a shortcut, like having a fast track to a woman's profile. Our reaction when we were like, is it saved as a shortcut? That's fucking bizarre. Yeah. And it's like lazy, honestly. Yeah. It's lazy in a way that confuses me.

Yeah. I don't understand what the point of it would be other than to quickly get to these women's profiles. Obviously. Yeah. It's like, look, is he creeping on people on Facebook? If his last few searches are, you know, some woman or whatever. Yeah, probably. Maybe. Is that a deal breaker for you? Because like, look, people are going to go on people's, actually, who are these people? Are they friends? If they're friends, maybe they're just as friends and he's visited their pages is it a shortcut maybe it's from forever ago it's still weird but it's worth the chat are they attractive women he's creeping okay is that a deal breaker

i don't know but everyone's creeping i'm sure you look at that chris hemsworth picture that gets posted or that one friend who's looking well in the gym i think there's a difference between creeping and the links, the links are. Having a shortcut, yeah. Very fucking weird. Yeah. And I do think if it's one picture that's hidden from one girl, that's strange to me.

If every post is hidden from this girl, because again, it's like, you can set just a rolling block on all your posts, or you can individually go on one post and be like, exclude X, Y, and Z. So if it's one picture, that's weird. Especially if that's the only picture of you guys. If it isn't the only picture

and this is the one picture that's blocked, still weird, but less sinister. Is she one of the shortcut girls as well? Yeah. Like you don't give us the information there either. But like, let's be fair, you are not trusting of your boyfriend. Like that's clear.

Yeah. And like, cause you're snooping through a shit one, that's a bad sign. Two, you're on here. Be like, why'd he do that? What's he doing? There's these girls. So it's like, you're, you're clearly paranoid, whether for reason or not. Yeah.

You're clearly snooping through a shit. You do not trust him. We say it all the time. If you don't trust your partner, do not be with them. Yeah. I think a conversation or you know what? I'm going to be bad. More snooping is in order because you need to see which photos are and aren't blocked from who.

If it is one photo that's blocked, do you not have other photos? Yeah. And also like who's using Facebook anymore as like the means of sharing things. Yeah. Right. Like I scroll endlessly on Facebook when I'm bored and like ADHD braining. Oh man, I don't even do Facebook. I'll do it. I still post on Facebook when I'm bored and like ADHD braining. Oh, man. I don't even do Facebook. I'll do it on Facebook, though.

Like I will I interact with things on Facebook because there are a lot of like social media things like for some reason, some of the groups on Facebook are like weirdly like active. So like the Starfinder and the Mork Bork shit. So it's like part of my job means I have to be on there interacting. And a lot of people I know in the writing community do and like family and stuff. So I'm on there. Am I scrolling? God, no. I'm scrolling on Twitter, sadly. My...

Blue sky and... My like, my algorithm on Facebook is so wild. It's like old niche, like wrestling clips of like, you know, the best fucking sweet chin music by Heartbreak Kid. Like, it's like, why? And for whatever reason, I watch these videos, Niall. I watch them. I will say the videos on Facebook are so unhinged.

Yeah, like so fucking insane. And I find that really funny. I love that. Like there's a subsection of people who are reposting clips from weird movies, but they like voice alter and or image warp the things to then, I guess, make them not be taken down for copyright. So it's the weirdest movie you've ever seen, but they all talk like this. It's a little twisted and you're like, why am I watching this? Yeah, I probably was bad when it's

normal and now it's a mockery of its former self. And I'm still like, yeah, let's spend seven minutes and 32 seconds watching this. How I'll also watch those like clips of It's like I don't know what they're from. I don't know what movie they are, but it's always like there's like the moral It's like the young boy and he's like well Papa and they're like the police officers there Yeah, and it's like or they you know, there's like that one bitchy white woman who's like not letting you know The guy get his prescription medication turns out that he was the person interviewing your son. Yeah, yeah. Like it's I'm just like, what the who's making this? Yeah, but they're what are these four?

But they are all like warped slightly. Right. Yeah. I'm like, are they like lifetime movies that are made? Like I like I literally I would I I'm dying to know the source of the maybe who's making maybe that's what this guy was doing He's tracking down these people. He's nailed it down to these three Shortcuts so that they don't see that he's searching them. Yeah, and on top of that He's hidden his identity from one of them. He's hiding you because he loves you so much. Yeah, it's like a Superman Thing really if they he doesn't care if they come after him the twisted video makers find out about you

You're gonna be the one warped. Yeah recognition and guess what the moral there will be you'll be fuck with them You'll be chastised by an old white woman Well in this that would actually make her win out in the end, right? No, she would be though I know you would be the white woman and if she's on Facebook, she's probably a boomer. So Like talk to him if you're that concerned but again if you don't trust your partner don't be with them or find a way to trust them this is from patients in love there's something wrong with my body slash vagina this afternoon my boyfriend I spent time getting each other off it

felt great it was the first time we saw each other naked when I saw his penis I was like damn hell yeah but when he saw vagina, he asked if I shaved or not. I don't ever shave down there because there's no need to in my opinion. I know I'm 18 but my body doesn't have much hair down there. I think it's because I have a very irregular period, very late bloomer too lol. I didn't get my period until I was 16. Now my boyfriend and I continued on with our business and then took a shower afterwards. But I was still bothered by what he said.

I asked about it later and he said he expected women to have a bush down there, and he was just shocked I didn't have one. I don't know. Do guys like women with a lot of hair? I mean, I asked him and he said he didn't mind. My mind right now is a bit all over the place. Like, is my boyfriend disappointed or is there something wrong with me? I tried looking using a mirror, but I don't know if my vagina looks weird or not. Ugh. Now I'm alone and I feel self-conscious.

I love that. I asked him if he minded and he said I didn't mind. He's immediately followed by, does he hate it? Is he disappointed? It's like, he says he's fine. I assume he asked an innocuous question because if you're saying it looks shaved because you don't have very much hair,

it was probably like, oh, you shaved like a surprise. I'm not a, did you shave? I can't tell. And if you are somewhere between hairy and non-hairy, maybe that's the issue. I don't know. I don't think you should change how you shave for somebody can't tell. And if you are somewhere between hairy and non-hairy, maybe that's the issue. I don't know. I don't think you should change how you shave for somebody else.

No. Do what makes you comfortable. And if they're not, you know, I was going to say man enough, if they're not person enough to like fucking get over that, they don't deserve to be balls deep in you or face deep in you or knuckles. As long as you as long as you were

taking care of your grooming. Once you think like I'll tell you, right. I mean, we've all told the story of me sneezing into a vagina. I've had many instances where I'll be going down on someone who does have longer, you know, a fairly substantial amount of pubic hair. And like it didn't cause a chunk bush. If it's tickling my nose, it's like you're you're not getting my a-plus material because I'm actively trying not to sneeze Yeah, there are times where a hair gets lodged out your throat and you're like I have almost gagged once which I know

Probably seemed really bad from yeah from the top-down view, but I don't want to stop and be like, hey So Niall here, I just wanted to clear up the high guy who's eating you out. Yeah. Sorry. Hold on Let me get my notes app apology out. This gag was actually not about you. It was about the hair that yeah it's still doing it. So like trust your boyfriend when you ask these things unless you

have reason not to. I understand that you're insecure but like it seems like everything else is good and like just do what you want to do vis a vis shaving. And if you don't want to and he says he's fine there's no problem here apart from your spiral. Yes, you're young, you're 18, I get it.

And it seems like you're now just sort of like kind of coming into your adult body if you are a late bloomer. If you didn't start really going through puberty until you were 16, for sure, body's changing. Things are happening, hormones are hormone-ing. I understand that feeling of, I don't know what's normal like I don't know what they can

for the someone having sex for the first time is terrifying yeah I mean those are all very scary things so it's fine like we understand where you're coming from where the like the feelings and the fear and the spiraling we get it yeah but you just need to stop and you you have to understand it's like this person has

chosen you this person got aroused by you have to understand it's like this person has chosen you. This person got aroused by you, got off with you, got you off. So like the he obviously wasn't like disgusted by it. Right. He obviously wasn't disappointed. And on top of that, he never made any comments about it.

It just seems like the initial like, oh, did you shave? Yeah. Which like I don't know whether it was surprise or unsureity or maybe it was just awkward. I love that. Like if this was a question 10 years ago, he would be upset that there was hair. Whereas like in this case, he's like, oh, I just figured you would have more pubic hair. Yeah. Right. Like that to me is a funny shift because. And I think probably a positive one. 100%. I it was. Yeah. I just I it is very funny

that like growing up, if anyone had like the hint of a pubic hair They would be like mocked mercilessly I remember there was a very hot woman in high school who I guess I hooked up with someone at a party and She was unshaven and like that was like the the talk of the the school The whole time I was just like if I got to see this woman naked, I wouldn't care what the fuck was going on I was like, she's so hot. Also because you're a nice person Yeah, it was it's very funny to me that like pubic hair really has just kind of like no one really gives a shit about it But it was like such a hyper fixated like thing for a while where it was just like women had to be shaved and even now

Like porn, it's not uncommon to see, you know, pubic hair in various states. I'm glad we've stepped away from I guess I hope it's not now the reverse. We're like, oh, you shaved you piece of shit like, you know, you just need to stop abusing people. But if everyone's cool with it, great. Like, yeah, I don't understand the fear and the stupidity. People are fucking weird.

It is very weird to be that obsessed with with pub. Great. Like, I don't understand the fear and the stupidity. People are fucking weird. It is very weird to be that obsessed with with public care. Yes, it's it's very weird. Yeah. Even like body hair in general, like I've hooked up with women who don't shave their armpits and it's just like, what is that? That is you have a naked woman trying to sleep with you and you're yeah, all you can think of is like, it's probably finally happening for them, because I doubt it does. If this is how they are.

Well, the the Snow White thing, people were posting images of her from behind in a dress and a red carpet where you could see like, you know, normal body hair on someone's back. You know what I mean? And freaking out about that. And I said, guys, fuck off. Yeah. Like one, why do you care to? Obviously, you're never going to see a woman in real life

if you're like hair in any capacity. Like, fuck why do you care to? Obviously, you're never going to see a woman in real life if you're like in any capacity like fuck off. Just fuck off. And also, like, I won't get into it. It's fucking dumb. We do have an update on the past question. She asked him about the shortcuts. He says he doesn't know why Facebook

does that. So he apparently did not set them. She also clarifies later on. It is just like the recently searched tab when you hit search. And then she says he gets really hyper when I ask him about stuff. Everyone's like oh if he gets hyper he's cheating. Hyper is a funny word. Hyper is a wild like zoomies like he's like he's running around the couch. I wanted to look up my recently searched and it's weird there's someone that I went to high school with that I haven't talked to in

But well over a decade I think in my like recent one of mine is just pokes nice. Yeah Yeah, I have birthdays birthdays is also there Yeah, the only actual person there is my sister. Everything else is more pork or starfinder mine are pretty accurate though Yeah, aside from pork I don't I don't know why I I know why one person is there because I showed a picture of them recently But the the one person from high school, I have no idea why they're there So there you go Facebook be weird social media be weird I feel like trying to gain information off random shit like that is just never the way forward

Yeah, you know like you're going to glean something from like, oh, the search was blah, blah, blah. Because sometimes it's most recent and you could search someone for any reason. You know what I mean? Sometimes I'll scroll past someone and be like, wait, what did they post? And go back up and not be able to find them and then go on their page. And that's not I would say nine times out of 10. That is like I will be reading something they posted.

And then the page refreshes the app, refreshes them like, God damn it. And then you have to like, yeah, go and find them to be like, arguably, the people you do interact with the most. You don't need to search because they just pop up. Anyway, I don't know. I don't know either. Well, guys, it's been a joy. Thank you very much for hanging out with us. Thank you for making the blizzard worthwhile for me. If you want to make it a little bit more worthwhile, please join us on Patreon.

Please tell a friend. Please review us, please download us 87 times every day. Just support us, we love it. It helps keep the show going, helps keep me and Dane in this current closet. Now, I want to know, did you know it was closet energy before the end of this episode? Because they didn't tell you. We didn't say anything. So somebody let me know if you knew it was closet energy and that's just a little scientific experiment we're doing right now. Thank you Josh Eagle and the Harbor Cities for their song, Paper Stars. Are you ready for some bed sex writing?

Yeah. This is Edge by Koji Suzuki. Psycho Kuriyama awoke with a start, her heart thumping wildly. Almost as if her heart had taken over her entire body, its pounding emanated outwards, causing her breasts to twitch with its surging pulsations. Today, yet again, she was unable to get up for several moments after awakening. Like, no. I really thought, like, there is a female anatomy.

There's a part of the body that is a sexual organ that does pulse with heartbeat. Sure, when you're around. Yes, it is weird that, like, you didn't't go there, which like, which I would be like, uh, it's like, it's still a weird thing to almost there, but you've gotten there wrong. But also it's, it's pretty clear this is in fear. So it's weird to me that someone like wakes up like, oh, with a start, like heart pounding and is like their first normal woman thought is God, my tits sure are twitch twitching and pulsating. Like damn. Why look at my partner? Always frightened when like boo. Yeah. Hell. Yeah, I you know boo is the first three letters of boobs. That's an excellent point

My name is Dave Miller We've been your folk buddies you