F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 339 - Mambo #69

Episode Date: April 14, 2025

The only time cyberbullying is acceptable is against Kevin Sorbo.  Topics include the first love is the strongest, is he just trying to smash, neighbourly love, and DISAPPOINTED.

I put my trust in you and I'm trusting out love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love I put my trust in you and I'm trusting out love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love Hello friends, my name is Dave Miller And I'm Niles Bain and we are your fuck buddies We are Dating and Sex Advice advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations and turn them into sexy, sticky situations.

I feel like you did better because I was trying to give you shit there. It was it's because I wasn't also reading my question while I was trying to just not do that in general simply, but we are a podcast that answers sex and dating advice questions that we find either online or from our wonderful twisted listeners. Right here, right now in your ears. On Monday, extra episodes on Patreon. We love you, Dane. How you doing? I'm good. I'm chilling. You're chilling.

I'm pretty much living in this closet today. Yeah, it's it's we're recording hours today. Multiple hours, multiple hours, probably probably close to five hours. Yeah, yeah, which is great because we also did three or four yesterday so It's been it's been a week, but you know what we're doing it for you because we love you. We love you What are we gonna talk about this week? We're gonna talk about is it true that man's first love is the strongest first love is the strong

Guest is he just trying to smash help. I'm in love with my neighbor disappointed Is he just trying to smash? Help! I'm in love with my neighbor. Disappointed! Oooooh. It better not be from that asshole. Kevin Sorbo's like, why won't anyone have sex with me? Honestly, we have a lot of advice to give Kevin Sorbo. And I don't think any of it's sex and dating advice. I think it's just like life.

I'll bet he does also need that. So one of my favorite things about Kevin Sorbo is a friend of mine. Guys cancel him. He said he has a favorite thing about Kevin. Well, it was my friends had a sketch comedy show. No, I didn't. That happened. I have more than you as a friend. I know this is now. Guys, I got to go. We've spiraled over in the show.

They had a they had a sketch comedy show. And for whatever reason, they had a running joke about Kevin Sorbo on a camera what it was, but it wasn't good. It was like making fun of him as a person. And then for whatever reason, it was maybe like a Comic-Con or something. But Kevin Sorbo was in town. He actually came to the show and was like, yeah, like they tweeted him like aggressively, like abuse. And he came and it was like, kind of like a roast of Kevin Sorbo But also like they were it wasn't in good spirit like it was I think I don't think he realized how

Genuine they were their dislike of him. How was he about it? I wasn't able to go to the show but apparently like he Took it. Did he just leave? Did you stay around? Did he say anything? Did he swing? I don't think he hung around. That's fair.

I like to think that my friends are the reason he went further. They radicalized him. But yeah, it's very funny that they... So what you're saying is we gotta start tweeting Kevin Sorbo more. Yeah. They also... Starts today. Got in a battle with some some weird northern Canada, like rock band.

We've been way too chill. That's what I'm saying. We need to start a fight with some. We tried with Dan. Yeah. Dan didn't want the smoke. Dan didn't want the smoke. Dan just stopped tweeting after we started. He was like, you know what? I can't live up to this. All right. Ready? It's about a little beanie. 32.

Is it true that men's first love is the strongest female 27 years old here? I don't know feel like every guy I've dated has had an ex in the past that they never really fully got over Like it could have been from high school are all men like these if I'm 27 and haven't met the one yet Well, I never be the girl. He loves most what like what are you doing? What are you talking about? My first love let's talk about first loves. Okay. I'm not gonna say her name. The meatball son.

Yeah. No. Was, I met her like in elementary school. I had a crush on her and was like, you know, young, loved for, I would say most of my, pretty much right up until I went to college, essentially. Damn. Yeah, yeah. Unrequited?

We never did anything. Damn. About it. But like, there was definitely moments of like, will we, won't we, she moved at one point in time. She was still the entire rest of the time? Did she exist? Was she a mannequin?

And so I recently well sorry like we she disappeared essentially oh my god ended with quite literally like not to get serious like sad or anything but like she got heavily into drugs and one day just literally like disappeared and I for most of my life like most of the time I thought she was dead. Like I really ruined my she disappeared joke because like I thought you just meant she like, you know, didn't contact you or was like moved away or something. And that's actually serious. And now I feel terrible. So so like I literally thought that like she had.

Yeah, she had died. And because like her parents never got back to me, like I was I was pretty close with her family, right? And like none of her family ever got back to me, like I was I was pretty close with like her family, right? And like none of her family ever responded back to me about anything And I guess like what ended up happening was like the family like imploded essentially and none of them were in contact with any of them but then like I made contact with her again, she had to be on Facebook randomly like One day in my 20 and I was like what the fuck so like I was just like 20 and I was like, what the fuck? So like I was just like, hey, and she was like, hey, like,

surprise, the whole story was like, yeah, like I went in a real dark place, ended up having a kid. She saved my life. I got clean like, oh, wow. I was like, hey, that's amazing. That's great. And then we had plans to meet up and like life just never did. And then fell out of contact again. And then recently, like, got into contact. And like it was so disappointing because she I don't want to get too much into too many details, but essentially had some really, really, really bad views

on a lot of things. Yeah. And I was just like, what happened? Like, it was like a lot. Yeah. I mean, it was like talking to a completely different person, which I understand a long time. Yeah, and For sure had been through a lot, but it was like core values had changed Yeah, that is to say this is my long way of saying really doing much to reassure this person as you're talking about a multi Decade long well the thing is it's like I don't like I don't have those feelings for yeah that like I and it's

is like I don't like I don't have those feelings for yeah that like I and it's someone that like has had a pretty substantial impact on my life but like I don't hold a torch for them and like I don't base anything like I have been able to love many people for considerable amounts of time successfully without thinking of this person yeah like my first like love, we wanna talk like puppy love was in, I guess what you guys would call, what do you call it, primary school? Like elementary school. Elementary school, yeah, yeah.

So like towards the end of elementary school, there was a girl a year above us who was like everybody was obsessed with. Forbidden. I know, though like super hot, tall, blonde, like really cool, everyone's obsessed with her, including myself. So the first person I was like, oh my God. Everyone's obsessed with her, including myself. So the first person I was like,

oh my God, just like obsessed with, was not a nice person. And I think eventually I was like, oh, this person's really mean and just not a nice person. So that went by the wayside very quickly, got over that quite quickly. Then my first girlfriend at about like 14, we dated for a year and like lost our virginity

to each other and all that. And that was my first like proper love of not like, you know, pining from afar, but like, oh, a reciprocal, like totally into this person. I was over that within a year of us breaking up. So it's like, no, like I don't have any feelings for this person. And like, you know, like there's a fondness of like, oh, hey, remember we were young and we met at a fucking metal gig downtown when we were 14 and like dressed up as pirates. You know what I mean? Fucking great. We had adventures. Things were fun. But like fond

memories of something shouldn't be. It also ended terribly. So there's no fond memories of that. She egged my house, pretended she was pregnant. It was terrible. Those were the eggs she was throwing. They were the eggs. Yeah. Thank God. If she kept some of them, who knows? You know, and then later on, we bumped into each other. And I think enough years have passed that she was like, sorry. Or it's like, hey, I don't care

anymore. You know, so even like the bad feelings had ceased to exist. You know what I mean? So to answer the question simply no, no, no. And I want to I want to go on the flip side of things. I'm saying because like I'm quite close with my like first adult girlfriend. Right. Like this was all the child he was dating.

Well, I was dating children when I was a child. Just again, the phrasing sounds funny. Whereas, like, you know, I dated her for four years. We lived together. My first sort of like, you know, first person together. My first first person I slept with, first person I lived with, although big firsts, we broke up, it was quite messy, didn't talk to each other for a very long time,

and then reconnected and became friends. Most recently became pretty close friends once again. That also isn't a bad thing. I don't think you should be weird about it. And like, thankfully my partner is incredible. My partner is also really good friends with a lot of her exes and a lot of people that she used to date.

I think that is also very healthy, right? So I'd also, I don't want to be like, oh. They're done, so it's like. Go the opposite direction to being like, oh, the first love means nothing to anyone ever. I was like, no, like you can build a part of your life with someone that no longer holds a romantic aspect of something like and like you can still love a person in different ways.

Like it's not love isn't a one particular thing. Yeah. Like I love you. Yeah. I love my partner. They're different. Completely different. Ours is better. Love my. Yeah. So much you could. Love my. Yeah. Someone she could never even begin to approach this. So it's like I like I also want to stress it like it is possible

that you may find a partner who still cares for someone that they once had like a romantic love with. Or even someone who like this question asks does pine for someone that never got over it. Is it a thing all men experience? Not at all. Is it a thing women don't also not true? Yeah. Anybody could be weird about their ex. I don't think it's a gender thing and I don't think it's a normal thing.

No. And that's the thing is like, if you are, if you recognize that your partner is still wistfully hoping and longing for someone that isn't you, then don't be with that person. That's not a person who's ready to be in a relationship with someone else. Yeah. I would also make sure that one, it's not you interpreting it as this. You know what I mean? Are they just friends with someone? Do they mention, have they mentioned the time back in the day that was fun? And you're like, oh yeah. Like, is it your insecurity coming to the fore or is it really something like every day you catch them at like 4 a.m

Open just staring at pictures that like scrolling through their Instagram checking their Facebook shortcut shortcuts And on top of that is fits always happening the common denominator is you where are you finding these men? Yeah, are they in like an AA but it's for getting over your ex and you just poach them from are you a therapist just dating your Client yeah, like you got a talk like if you realize a pattern in your life, and this isn't a normal thing We're telling you now you got to realize something is happening Whether it's who you're finding how they're finding like maybe the way they're acting because they're pining for somebody else is Like a thing that like validates you like this

There's probably like an overcompensation or maybe a coldness that you, you know, you want to fix them. Yeah, or maybe when people are genuine, you're like, oh, they're too overbearing or too eager and like you're going for these unavailable men. The problem might lie with you if this is a consistent. Yeah, you know, so is it is it a fact of life? No, it isn't. Also, where'd you hear this? You know, around embarrassed when is he just trying to smash? I'm going to go in line. We get along really well.

The only issue is that I'm trying to save myself from marriage. And we are both kind of crazy about each other and very sex positive. He has a history of sleeping with a lot of people and is a decade older. So I have a feeling the power imbalance might be dangerous He boasted about his physique which led to him showing me his 12 inch imprint Imprint what's it imprinted in the snow like do you mean like outline like did he lay down in the snow? Also 12 inches is yeah, that's the odds of it being that are very low my girl like that's my thigh Our conversations are often about how excited we are to do stuff together

And he is the one who pushes boundaries because I am willing he assured me that he will respect my desire to remain a virgin Till marriage but the fact that we keep having these conversation makes me a little worried. This is a red flag I've never had a super serious relationship. This feels like such a good thing if he actually respects that. But it doesn't sound like you have a serious relationship right now. Also, are they just talking online? And if all you're talking about is like, we're going to bone. Here's my 12th. Here's the outline of my 12 inch dick in the snow.

Here's my insane penis. What does it like? It can't. Where are they from? For some reason, I'm just thinking England. I don't know why. I there's there's no Cuz not everyone has snow so what else you think he's imprinting in like play-doh Over maybe flower. Yeah, you know yeah, it looked weirdly like a rolling pin, but I could Like none of this gives me any faith that he is being sincere well also

I want to talk about her for a second as well. Yes, I'm willing. I'm going to talk about all these things. Are you like, I'm so horny to suck your dick in 10 years when we get married? Yeah, like what? Like I maybe this is unfair, but I feel like someone who wants to save themselves from marriage isn't as sex positive as they may think they are. Yes. Right. Like, yeah.

What's sex positive about they may think they are. Yes, right. Like what's sex positive about that? Nothing. Yeah, cuz you're putting this weird like Onus on sex that like sex means like you somehow are less Worthy of being married or that marriage is going to be cheap and you're gonna be cheapened as a product Yeah, like virginity is important like putting virginity on this pedestal is soup is all about, like sex negativity, right? Yeah, it's like you're doing that. But also, if you've decided that's not what you're going to do. Sure. But then why are you sexting someone?

That's the thing is like, it's very strange to be like, I'm super sex positive. And I love sexting and I love talking about how hot all of our sex is going to be. But I'm not going to have it because of an arbitrary reason that I've come up with, which is inherently not sex positive. But also, like, I don't I'm not going to be like victim blame me or whatever. But it's like if I wasn't going to do a thing, I then wouldn't be like, hey, let's talk about maybe doing that thing. You know, like, yeah, surely you're giving somebody the wrong impression.

And when it comes down to it, consent is king. And like, it shouldn't matter what impression is given. But at the same time, surely you're going to save yourself and them and like make it a little bit more safe for you if you kind of like give realistic expectations as opposed to undercutting that all the time. Yeah. If you're dying to have sex, then why are you waiting to have sex? Yeah. I just don't especially if you are sex positive, because then why? Like what reason could there be? Yeah.

I don't unless it's like sex itself is off the table, but you're willing to do other things. Yeah. And that's what you're sexting about. And you're like, I don't really know. But like if all you're talking about is sex and sexting and like can't wait to get together and do these things, here's my big old fucking hog. Why would you then expect meeting up to be anything but that? Yeah, you've set a tone. Yeah. And then to expect like, what do you think is gonna

happen when you guys hang out? Like, do you think it's gonna be chaste and, you know, virginal? Because like, your relationship now isn't. Yeah, if this is all it is, it's weird to expect it not to be that when you're in person. Yeah. Like, do you see a realistic like relationship with this man who is so much older than you? And all he talks about is sex and has slept with all these people. Not that sleeping with some

all these people makes you less honest or whatever. But like it feels like he's in the mood for X and you're angling for Y. And even look, even if this dude is being honest, how fast are you intending to marry this?

Yes. Right. Like you should still have the due diligence of like dating and then, you know, living to be exclusive and then living together. And then, you know, like going to the station, a couple of years minimum. Yes.

Or else you're going to ruin your life by hooking up with someone or getting married, getting married, hook up with someone which seems far more Insulting to the institution of marriage. Yeah to be like, oh, I'm not marrying this person because he's a right fit I'm not marrying because I love him. I'm married cuz he's got a giant fucking I don't know if this is gonna work out but that dick is so big is so big and I need it Also, I got bad news for you

You're probably not gonna have a good time with a 12 inch dick if you've never had sex before. Also, maybe not ever. Ever. Like, that's a really bad... Can you're you're doing it and then it's like oh, this is so big it sucks Yeah, and we cannot have sex because yeah, it's too large Yeah, cuz like that's all those like big dick reddit posts are is like believe me girl. There's a limit Yeah, and that limit is usually in the nine ish or like around there like it's not a 12 Yeah, because that's just too big I mean not many people have to the next time you're enjoying you're eating fresh at Subway And you order yourself a footlong sub think try to put that up could I put that in?

And I promise I mean I can put it in my mouth. I put many footlongs Into my tummy. I love me a girl meatball sub But like I promise you you wouldn't look at that and be like I want to put that I could fuck that Mm-hmm, and you can try because much like Like soaking Jesus doesn't mind if you use a phone. Yeah. Well, he does now after what Jared did true Yeah, just But if you go to firehouse subs Yeah, I just... But if you go to Firehouse Subs, Jesus will let you get away with it.

Is it question number two time? Well, technically three, but two for you. I can't remember which one I did. Okay, I did this one. Throw our a branch 2473. Help! I'm in love with my neighbor. He's 34, the neighbor is 30 and female. A couple weeks ago, my new neighbor came over to introduce herself. My brother and I, we share our flat, joked it was like the opening to a girl next door character from a movie.

She had a plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies and a bottle of wine that said they were to apologize in advance for any headaches caused by the renovation she was doing. So after numbers, we could let her know if there were any issues with the noise. I ran into her walking dogs in the neighborhood a few times and we became friends over the next two months. We were texting constantly and she'd come over to drink wine escape the construction out of her place by this point I was already so in love. I couldn't remember a time. She didn't live next door even writing this I know I sound crazy, but I've never felt this way about a girl before I ended my last relationship in November feeling pretty

Pessimistic about relationship and dating on the whole but she is so interesting and kind and smart not to mention completely gorgeous gorgeous. Last weekend she was over for dinner. Two of us ended up sitting outside, a bit wine drunk. I made my move and we kissed. It lasted a few minutes before she eventually pulled away and headed home. I walked her to her door and we kissed again. The next day she came over and asked if we could talk. She explained she was dealing with some pretty serious health stuff at the moment, which I won't go into, that she wasn't prepared to complicate the relationship and someone else's life with it. She suggested we dial things back so we stay friends if that's what I wanted. In the moment I wanted to be supportive so I said I'd be happy to do whatever I needed to be a good friend to her.

We're talking less, haven't really seen each other since, I'm losing my mind. Truth is I'm so in love with her, the thought of not being there with her through everything she's going through has been keeping me up at night. I feel like I'm going slowly mad but I don't know what to do. Do I tell her how I feel and risk our friendship or do I take a backseat and pine quietly from the next door? Never felt this way about someone. A week ago I was convinced I'd eventually marry this girl.

Her being ill doesn't change how I feel, but I ultimately want to do what's right by her. Anyone has advice? Please. I'm lost. Okay. This is kind of cute. Yeah. I was really worried it was going to go creepy, but it seems like there is a mutual attraction.

There is. There may not be. Okay. they kissed while drunk the next day she was like no let's not sure could it be genuine in the like the the sickness and stuff or is it like there's no indication as to where she's at right you know I mean she's polite she's nice I appreciate that it might be honest it might not be yeah I think it's if that's case, I think lying about an illness. No, but like if you're ill and it's just an easy way to get out of something, I don't think it's quite as nefarious, right? It might just be the, like the white

lie of being like, Oh, I have so many things going on right now. When really it's like, I also don't want you. You know what I mean? My, honestly, my, you my you've already shot your shot. She already knows you are into her. I go I say go one step further and like actually shoot your shot and be like, look, I hear what you're saying and I'm happy to respect that. I'm happy to respect your boundaries. But also, I really like you.

I think you're great. And I think that as much as you you want your space and I respect that and I'll give it to you, I'm also you, I would like to support you as well. Say what you said essentially, be like, I don't want you to go through this alone. I really like you. You have become very important to me in this short period of time and the idea of you struggling and doing this alone is upsetting to me.

I would like you to know that I am willing to participate and be a support system for you. And as a result, like I also like that's also me saying I want to further our relationship. Like I don't want, I don't want you to think that just because you're sick, I don't have these feelings for you. Um, and you know, give her the out, give her and be like, but I hear you. Yeah. If this isn't something you want, that's totally fine. And I'm capable of being your friend. If as we've talked about before, if you are, if you're not, have this conversation and be like, unfortunately, because of these feelings,

I will have to like step our friendship back. Like if you need me by all means, if you have to like come knock on my door, I don't want you to feel weird about it. You can't because you know, emergency situations or whatever, like, please come and get me. What? That's great. But I do have to walk our friendship back up. Yeah, because I'm my say for your sake, you know, just to be fair to my feelings and your feelings. Yeah. And I think that's clear is like there is no indication that he can willingly give up those feelings at the end. Yeah. And he's like, do I shoot my shot or do I just quietly pine from? And it's like, no, actually, that is not what you should do.

What you need to do is, again, what Dane said, and I think it's really important if you do shoot your shot that you make it about you and not about her, right? So don't be like, oh, I don't care about what you feel, right, that's not it. If she's saying, oh, I don't wanna complicate someone else's life, you say, and again, only if you're genuine about this, I don't mind.

I'm OK if you complicate my life. I am here for that. I'm willing to. The complication is a part of like not like the price you'll pay. Yeah, that shouldn't be it. Right. Like it shouldn't be a transaction. It's like the complication is is some of the some of the parts that I have, you know, become endeared with.

Who? I think like I think for me, it's just like you need to make that clear. some of the parts that I have become endeared with. I think for me, it's just like, you need to make that clear. She's saying, I don't wanna complicate someone's life. If you say, I don't mind, I am willing, I am accepting of this, obviously balls in your court, I just wanna let you know, I do like you and I'm okay with this situation if you are. She may not be, but the second part,

which again you were saying is you need to be honest. I think very honest in, are you actually willing to deal with this thing? People with health issues, it can be really draining for even their most loved ones who have to help care take. It can be really stressful. If it's something she may die from, are you going to be okay with the possible grief? Be honest, because if you get into this just because you're enamored her, and then you can't handle it, you're going to make things worse for her and yourself.

And that sucks, right? Two, maybe look, are you rebounding? Because your last relationship wasn't that long ago. Yeah. And you seem to have fallen for this girl very quickly and very hard. And prior to really spending that much time together, you were making a lot of grand statements like, I love this girl the most. And before I thought I'd never love anyone again. Maybe. But you got to be honest with yourself in those two regards before you make shoot your

shot. And then when you shoot your shot, you need to be honest both about if she says no, can you remain friends? And also, are you actually willing to be in this position? And like how much of it to go back to like the rebound thing is like how much of it is the situation. Right. Like you joke about like this girl next door. Like how much of it is sort of this like fantasy that just keeps kind of like playing out like a movie.

Like, hey, I've done it. Literally, I had a whole girl next door thing that did play out like a movie. And there were all these like weird coincidences and like bumping into people and like, oh, let me pop over with a bottle of wine and show you the building that became like a year long, like fucking thing that like was very intoxicating because having someone like next door is really like, it's very flirty and fun. You know what I mean? And like there is the situation, as you say,

that adds to it, that like, it's almost sometimes hard to see the forest from the trees because it's not a normal life shift, right? Yeah. So it's, it's something to hard to see the forest from the trees because it's not a normal relationship. Right. Yeah. So it's it's something to think about. It's really something you have to like the one thing we're really stressing here is you have to be sure you need you need to be sure about every aspect. Yeah. And you need to be honest with yourself first and foremost. And then with them. But I do think there is like if this is a genuine thing, I think there is a strength and I think there is a sweetness of being, you know, finding someone that you connect with and finding someone that like matters to you and then being like, look, I understand that you're doing this because you think it's easy for me.

Yeah. But I'm willing for it to be hard to be with you. Right. Like I'm willing to deal with the difficulty. I'm okay with you. Right. Like I'm willing to deal with the difficulty. Like the difficulty of of your situation is not a deterrent for the what I what I see

with you. And it is very possible that that doesn't change where she's coming from. A hundred percent. You know, just because you're willing to take it on doesn't mean she's willing to put it on

you. Yeah. Right. Whether or not she again is into you or not. Right. Yeah. Because again, this could be just an easier way to let you down while remaining true. Or it could be that she does like you. But again, it's too much. So like you need to be ready for that possibility. Yeah. You need to be ready to be cool in that possibility. And then you need to be ready to to cut things off if you need to. Because I think we can both agree one option that isn't available

is just to quietly pine from your house, because it's going to be weird. Yeah. For you, for them, everybody. Yeah, 100%. This is from just a whole ton of letters that I'm not even going to attempt to figure out. Oh, wait, no, sorry, that's not the question I'm doing. I'm doing this one. This is from Afraid Golf.

Disappointed. Disappointed. 29-year year old female. I will say this has nothing to do with the incredible Kevin Sorbo reading. The only good thing he's ever done. Yeah. 29 year old female. Let me preface by saying that I'm in an awkward figuring it out phase, wanting a relationship, but I'm sure if I'm ready for one. I have a third date tonight. We met at a casual bar and ended up hooking up on the first night, which I'm fine with. The second date was just ordering in and Netflix and chilling at his place because he was coming home late from a trip that was only that was the only night we could see each other, which was fine

given the circumstances. During this date, we discussed intention, what we were looking for. And it sounds like we're on the same page of wanting a relationship, but taking our time, not rushing and just seeing if there's compatibility between us. After that night, I asked if he had wanted to do a real date next time. And he said, yes, it's kind of waiting all week for him to reach out and plan it. But he sent me a link yesterday to this casual tapas wine bar. I actually can't drink this week because on a medic, because of the medication I'm on, and I told him this, but I guess we're still going there.

I'm by no means materialistic and don't need someone to take me out on fancy slash fun dates all the time. But I feel like it's kind of weird that we've had two pretty casual dates and that he wouldn't want to plan either a nicer restaurant date or an activity given that I can't drink. I feel like when I'm dating, the dates have variety to get a good idea of how the other person interacts in different environments. Am I overthinking this or would you feel disappointed too? Well, tapas, so no. Tapas, tapas. So no, tapas. So no, which is basically what she's saying.

Like how casual are we talking about this tapas thing? Because like to me, tapas is a little bit fancy. And also to me, if I can't drink, I don't care if I'm going to a place that has drinks. Surely the food is is the point. Especially in a place like it's one thing to like go for like I wouldn't take you to a cocktail bar. Right. Yeah. You know, if he was like, hey, there's

this sick brewery. They don't do food. Sit there watching me get trash. Yeah, I get it. Yes. I mean, oh, here's the best cocktail bar in the city. I'm going to have a great time and I hope you enjoy watching me.

Yeah. You know, those that would be different. But like it feels weird that like I think you're getting hung up on things that don't matter unless there is something really shit about this tapas place. If it just fucking sucks. I've never been to a shitty tapas place. They're all nice. Like, yeah, like a, again, I don't know what you mean by casual. Do you just mean like not a fine tie?

Like it's not like a $40 a plate tapas. Like what do you, what is casual? Because like, you're like, oh, we went to a casual bar. Like what? What are I? I've barred one of my favorite bars to go to when I was dating. I would consider a casual bar, but it was fucking cool and everyone liked going there. Yeah, but also she was like that was when they met. So she was there.

Obviously, she doesn't mind, right? I think that was did they not meet on a night out? I think they say they met at a casual bar and end up having him on the first night Okay, I think maybe they I think I'm like their first day. Okay. Yeah, I thought it was like I think that was like their first Meeting was and it's like what are you looking for? Like and I don't know what like I there's a Bar here that has won like multiple awards. Mm-hmm. I would still consider that a casual bar Yes, like is it a dive bar? No, no. I mean, they're talking.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Is it like a dive bar? Because I can't imagine a dive tapas place. And it's like, I don't know. There is. It sounds crazy. Tell me where it is, because that's exactly what I want. Yeah. I just don't understand what you're missing out on here. It's like, yeah, you can't drink, but that has nothing to do with it.

I don't know why you're putting so much importance on it, because then if you went to a out on here. It's like, yeah, you can't drink but that has nothing to do with it I don't know why you're putting so much importance on it because then if you went to a fancy place would you be like, oh This place is great cocktails. Well, I can't have wine. I get great wine. Like what would you be happy with? It's like you asked for a date. He's taking you on a date. You say you're upset that you haven't done activities But this is only your second date out So it's like if you want to do activities say that I don't think there's anything wrong with him having taken you to a new Another you're like, oh, I was hoping you would plan it and then he did yeah, like you wanted him to plan it He went and found a place that he thought you'd like

I'm sure he's like taking you here because he's like, yeah either he's been and he likes it Which is a cool thing like I love like one of my favorite things to do is like being introduced to when someone's like, oh, have you ever been here? I'm like, no, it's like, oh, great. It's like one of my favorite spots. Cool. But you have a new favorite spot. It's the joy of dating people is like getting to see like their favorite thing.

So it's like you're like, oh, you know, I want to get it to know I want to know compatibility. What do you think this is? Yeah, that's the thing. Feels like you're not compatible because you despite saying I'm not materialistic is like he's not bringing me to an expensive enough place.

This is so dumb. You're like, oh, I can't drink, but he's not taking me to a fancier restaurant. It's like, do you not think that a fancy restaurant has drinks? Yeah. So it's like, you're upset that you're going to this tapas bar because it's not expensive enough. That's like that's your thing. And again, I cannot imagine a shitty tapas bar unless like you're in Spain and like, I think it's gonna be so tasty. It's probably gonna be delicious. So I just don't understand

what your what metric you're gauging all this shit from. But it feels like you have that like, like outside pressure to feel worthy or worthwhile. You know what I mean? Like you're judging things by shit that doesn't matter. You know what I mean? Like by the price tag of the menu by like, hey, you haven't been, I assume. Yeah. So it's like, how do you know how bad or good it is? What's wrong with the drink? Like you're trying to find problems or you really are materialistic and you're unwilling to admit that if you want to do an activity,

it's your turn next. Right. Organize one. You say specifically, I feel like when dating, the dates have to be a variety to get a good idea of how the other person interacts in different environments. You met at a casual bar. Now you're going to a tapas restaurant. Boom. Those are two very different things. Yeah.

And if you want variety, what do you think tapas is? It's literally variety. It's variety. Multiple small places. A bunch of different things to try. Like, I don't know. Like, I'm sure like you might go somewhere else afterwards. And if you if that's what you want to do, suggest it.

Yeah. Right. Like if you want to go like a mini golf or a bad gauging or a fucking, you know, a driving range or something like you you are here to you in this you are you're not just a passive participant who's at the mercy of whatever he decides to plan. You're just sitting in the backseat complaining if he chose a restaurant, choose the after dinner thing. Yes. Or just the next day be like, let's do an activity. Like, I don't understand what you're complaining about.

And it really does seem like you're just trying to find issues because you want him to take you to a fancy restaurant. Yeah. And that sucks. Yeah. But again, maybe if that's you, you're materialistic and that's what you want. Maybe this isn't the relationship for you. But also maybe you should stop saying I'm not materialistic. It is also like the dude made time for you coming home from a trip. The only day it's like when I'm traveling, I don't want to fucking get home

and then like hang out with someone. If I'm going to fuck though. I mean, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I'm down. I guess it depends on the trip, right? Like how like if it was like a fucking long flight, I don gonna fuck yeah, so I will make pretty much. I will make bad decisions to fuck yeah I'm a horny boy. Yeah, yeah quick shower. I don't know I'm down I've done worse things but with her with her seems like a lot of work look. I'm not gonna lie with you nah Yeah, sorry you're gonna be like the tapas. Oh, no. Like it's again, unless there's something we're missing, in which case it's on you for not having included it.

You need to take a breath. You need to analyze what you really want. And what you really want is for him to take you to a fine dining restaurant. And that's weird. Yeah, I would love I really wish I could like I want that. I want to know what this fucking I want. I want to see the taverns, right? Because I bet it's probably cool.

Yeah. Especially if it's like casual. It feels to me like hipstery like that you know yeah, but like that's yeah Yeah, it's dumb do certain women make men harder as by time read four zero one seven I know erections aren't necessarily an indicator of attraction arousal But are there people that make you harder than anyone else I 26 female I've been hooking up with a great guy 26 male for a few weeks we have great sex and he's never had an issue getting hard but recently has been making comments about how hard he is when we hook up he says often the one time he's being flirty and asked if I was the only one he said yes I'm wondering

if this is just regular dirty talk or if there are people who just do it for you and he's being serious never had a guy literally say it or comment on his hardness so I haven't been sure about what to say back I do do think we have great chemistry, but has any guy had someone that literally makes them harder? What should I say back? Might be a dumb question. Just haven't experienced this before. I don't think so.

I don't know if anyone's ever made me, I don't know if there's a degree of hardness, like I think like when I'm fully aroused, I'm fully aroused. I don't think I can like, I don't think there's like someone who puts me into like ultra mode. I kind of get it in a way, but I don't think it's like, I don't think I can like I don't think there's like someone who puts me into like ultra mode I kind of get it in a way, but I don't think it's like I don't think it's a person I don't think it's a physical hardness I think it's a like a metaphysical like I think I think someone made like I think there are people who like like turn Me on more, but I don't think I think if you've got like a hardness meter and strapped it onto my dick

I think the number would be the same. I think just there is a I'm at an elevated level of arousal because of some. It's also the same like I'm so fucking wet or you make me so wet. No one's down there with like a fucking you know, hold on. You're measuring moisture.

Yeah, like no one's getting a dipstick and being like, hmm. And if someone was to be like, wait, are you wetter now than you were with the last person? Like you'd probably like, yeah, you wouldn't be like, well, are you wetter now than you were with the last person? Like, you'd probably be like, yeah. You wouldn't be like, well, actually, the millimeter, like, there was three other people. Like, yeah, it's, he's dirty talking. He's just saying you make, you turn them on. Yeah. Super turned on. Good. Good. Great. That's the way it should be. I love the idea of like, I didn't know

what to say. Like, oh, I'm so fucking hard. And she's like, what? What does it mean? I mean, I guess like, I understand the idea of like, him being like, yeah, you're the only person who's ever made the, like, I understand the like, you know, if you've, if it's so, if you've been taken aback by something. No, but like, you don't get to be taken aback by that

when you ask the question. I guess. You don't get to be like, oh, am I the only one? Like, what did you expect while there was Sandra? Rita? Oh no, I fucked Lupega again! A little bit of Monica made me heart, a little bit of Sandra also heart, a little bit of Tina not so hard. Really sorry Tina, you were cool. Like poor Tina. Poor Tina.

You were cool like poor Tina poor Tina Yeah, you're like no Self-respecting person is going to in the middle of sex start listing off other people that have made them harder or as hard Yeah, especially when they're just saying you I am turned on you. Yeah, you are making me turned on I am enjoying this why you try to ruin it? You're trying to make this bad for you for them There are some things you just don't think about, especially things that are said in the heat of the moment. Right. Like when when someone is giving you a compliment or like during sex, just understand that that sex brain is doing its best to be nice.

Yeah. Right. We're all trying to be hot. We're kind of got canned lines in the way. You know, like someone's like, oh, you rocked my world. Are you like, she has a whole world. Hold on. What do you want? It's a lot of land. There's a lot of that's that's dangerous. She's so much more wealthy than me and I rocked it.

If people OK. Yeah. Well, that what happened? Where are the cities doing? Oh, no, I'm a. Murderer. Is there was there was there fucking tsunamis? Oh, gosh. Is that what you were so wet? Is it a tsunami? A poonami? Yeah, you did it.

Oh, I guess we do another. Damn, we blew through that one so quickly. You're good. Just stop overthinking it. I can't stop feeling guilty. I don't want to do this one. I keep reading it. Oh, here we go. This is from NTDoy. Can someone please kill me now so I don't have to suffer through this date?

Hold on. I made plans to hang out with a guy from Bumble at six o'clock. He messaged me on the app at 5 58 saying he's going to be there in 10 because he's trying to get out of this happy hour. Are there any men who just want to actually seriously date out there? I give up. Already wish I was back home playing Xenoblade. So you're there and he says, I'm really sorry, I'll be 10 minutes late. I mean, technically eight minutes late. True, true. That's like that's not that bad.

And you want to die as a boy who occasionally is not on time to things, it's not that bad. Ten minutes is an acceptable amount of lateness to anything, especially when you're texting and saying, hey, sorry, God held up. Yeah. I'm I'm going to be there in ten minutes. Yeah. I don't understand why that would make you spiral. I would be like, oh, cool. Thanks for thanks for let me know. Yeah. A lot of people could have just shown up at 610. And also that wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.

Yeah, I appreciate there is nerves of like going somewhere and being like, and like waiting like 10 minutes can seem, especially if you're nervous and like, you know, like 10 minutes can be an eternity when you're when you're sitting at a bar waiting for your day and be like, oh, man, I'm getting stood up. Is this happening? Like you haven't heard anything. Yes. Right. And the fact that they let you know is good because that's nice of them. I operate under the I try to operate under the rule of like, if I think I'm going to be 20 minutes late, I'm going to let you know 20 minutes ahead of time. Sure. If that makes sense.

You know what I mean? Like that's what if you don't know, it's hard to know. But I mean, this dude is at a fucking bar happy hour. He I will say that does detract from his statements like I gotta get out of this happy hour It's what I mean like if it's a work thing, right? Like if you had like a work networking event or something, it's like sorry this like, you know I was talking to a fucking dude. Yeah, I just couldn't get away from I will say it's just less like it's not like oh, sorry So we got the lady there. Yeah, it's it's like I'm at this happy hour. There's a little less to it. But again, if it's a work thing, I'll give them the benefit of the show.

Like even like a social thing, like trying to get out and like, if someone like corners, you can't just be like, got a date by like pushing like, right. Like there's, there's a little bit of 10 minutes is fine. If it was, oh, sorry, 45 minutes. I got to talk to Dave from accounting. I'd be like, okay, I'm not sitting here for 45 fucking minutes. You know? Yeah.

Or like he shows up like half an hour with no. Yeah. With no hammer from his happy. Yeah. With like no, you know, sort of like text or indication. That also isn't OK, man. I know the rest of the state sucks shit. Yeah. He came in and she was like, huh? Hey, like girl, calm down. I'm sorry. but who cares?

Ten minutes, you're fine. He texted you. It's understandable. You're going to tank this and waste your night because you're worried you wasted your night. Yeah. I mean, do you think that perhaps you might be having a little difficulty dating because someone was eight minutes late and you said, please kill me so I don't have to deal with this.

And also, is there anyone who will seriously date? Yeah. He was eight minutes late. Yeah. And he gave you notice. Yeah. Not much, but like he texted you. He let you know he was running behind.

My first day with my partner, she was late, which was wonderful because I was also late because I was halfway there and realized I forgot my wallet and had to run home, get my wallet, go back down. And the relief I had when she was not there was wonderful. This shocks me for both of you. None. Yeah. I mean, I heard to her. I am on time like I am on time.

I'm 10 minutes early compared to her. I I have a really hard time with dating and timing because like I come from a fucking nerd and arrives three hours early film background where if you're late, you're fired, fired. So it's it's I I always had a thing where like I would always show up at like dates and I was just like, you see when your talent show up whenever you want and they're happy. You're on set specifically happy when you're such your star talent. The line is specifically about talent. No, no, no, no. When you're like your star talent the line is specifically about talent

No, no, no, no when you're like talent with a capital T is all I'm saying You don't know but let me tell you 15 minutes early. You're on time 10 minutes early No 15 minutes early. You're you're early 15 minutes early. You're on time. If you're on time, you're late. If you're late, you're fired No, when you this start, that's the mantra. I'm sure Vin Diesel who never shows up. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. But sorry. Vroom Vroom. You think you think you're Vin Diesel? Thinking and knowing are very different things. Vroom Vroom family. Oh, fuck it is. It is him.

Oh, no. You can't see I'm wearing a tank top and a really big cross. Yeah. And I've been sitting in a car this whole time. I've died several times and come back to life. Yeah, which is great. Is that just right? Yeah. Guys, it's been a blast and we love you. Yeah. Thanks for popping by.

Let your friends know about us. Let your family know about us. Go like every single video I've edited and posted in the last two years. I promise you. There's a video you haven't liked that I've posted. There's also someone in your immediate friend circle who is useless or a piece of shit.

Or is so good that they need a little weight off their shoulders yeah or they're in a healthy relationship that they need kind of like oh breath of fresh air people out there are not doing yes I'm they need a reminder that they got a good yes and that like they're the grass ain't green around the other side the grass is scorched the grass is I think just green worms I shouldn't say that because I know there are a lot of single people. There is green grass. Don't worry about it. We're going to guide you there.

Yeah. Or just leaving the piece of shit in the green worms. Yeah. Oh, we love you. Thank you. We got Patreon. We got we got social medias. We got ratings on apps. Please do the things and then we'll be able to do this thing more. And we love you. Thanks for staying with us. Thanks, Josh. You'll never see for a song. Paper stars. Yeah. Ready for some bad sex.

Or, uh huh. This is going to be my new favorite women or favorite women. New favorite way to describe women. Despite myself, I've been thinking about his wife all day. I find myself hoping she's a vocal participant in her neighborhood watch. It would also be reassuring if she lies completely still during sex. There is the possibility she might be cool. She might truly be fine with her husband going on a date with a girl who had 16 times more viable eggs. She might be limber, keyed into Venus

retrograde, and use natural deodorant. A woman so untethered by all of New York's women that she has given this new ball hoard a wholesale blessing to fuck her husband. None of that made sense to me. I I'm just going to like every time like, hey, partner, I'm going to go have coffee. It's a girl who does have 16 times more viable eggs than you. Is that okay? Yeah. Your viable egg situation is dwindling compared to her. I got this brand new dipstick that can also measure egg viability as well as wetness. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. At first first I thought this was a man fantasizing about a woman, but I understand now that like she was hoping that the woman sucked so that

Her husband want to fuck her or she would want to fight either way. I'm not really sure honestly I think I think it was a woman being like I hope this wife is like so free-spirited But also lay like lame in bed that she would be cool with her husband fucking me Yeah, the one with I've counted my viable. Yeah my viable eggs and that's why I'm important I move around a lot in sex like a wacky waiting and I'm a double man very quiet in my neighborhood group Yeah, I don't say shit about neighborhood watch those drug dealers safe as houses. It's pretty cool. My name is Dave Miller. I'm now Spain. We've been your fuck buddies.