F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 343 - A Cummings Worth of Piss

Episode Date: May 12, 2025

In this episode we go into great detail that arcane secrets you must comprehend and master in order to pee just enough to make someone think it's jizz.  Topics include semen Houdini, difference between sex and making love, a racially charged kink, hooking up after the break up.  

I put my trust in you and I'm trusting out love Hello friends, my name is Dan Miller And I'm Niles Payne And we're your fuck buddies We are a sex and dating advice podcast Hello friends, my name is Dan Miller. And I'm Niles Payne from We're Your Fuck Buddies. We are a sex and dating advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations and turn them into sexy, sticky situations. Simply Pup, we're a podcast that finds questions about sex and dating and answers them right

here, right now, every week, in your ears. Where do we find them? From our twisted listeners or from the internet. I did that one out of order, but that's okay. That's okay. Sometimes you gotta switch it up. Are you ready to just dive right in? I think so, man, I'm really pissed.

I saw something during the week and I was like, that would make great sex news. And then when I went to save the article, because it was in the weird side screen that you have on your phone that has things that thinks you'll be interested in, and usually they are correct. So, so I couldn't like save it, save it. So I had to like open it and for whatever reason it refreshed and I

lost it. But I was like, that's okay, because I've gone through this experience, I will for sure remember what it was about. And now I don't know. What's it about the TTC ads? No. Okay. But have you heard the controversy? This is like the dating. Yes. So for those unaware, the TTC ads? No. OK, but have you heard the controversy? This is like the dating. Yes. So for those unaware, the TTC is the Toronto transit, like the subway, buses, streetcars, famously not great, getting worse by the year.

And at this point, it's not only like transit delays and overcrowding, but like not enough service, rising prices. But also like- And stabbings. Yeah, harassment and violence. So the people behind the TTC oblivious decide to release a bunch of advertisements. I'm not even sure what they're fucking advertising for is the best part because they were advertising themselves on themselves.

So it's like at that point, you got them. You don't need them to be like, wait a minute. Should I do this again? But it was basically like they meet the between stations they meet they connect and there was all these like Images of like, you know almost like dating ads before the TTC to which women were like no Please do not encourage here to between stations meet and connect with me Like the harassment is already bad. The violence is already bad encourage people to between stations meet and connect with me like the harassment's already bad the violence is already bad it's a you know so just maybe don't was it a seduction guy who's also an advertisement guy who was like

yes cold approach this is it public transit it's my time to shine you know what it's probably so I don't know if it's still the case but back in my back of my youth one of my my good little tidbits, which is where I used to go for my- One of your good little tidbits. My good little information, like Toronto trivia thing, is that Bathurst station is one of the most romantic terminals, like subway transit stops in the world.

And that is like quantified by the fact of how many misconnections were posted on various sites and stuff, right? Like Craigslist, Kijiji, like misconnection things. Bathurst station was one of the highest rated ones because of it. And I used to go to a bar near there or like a restaurant near there for my cake dates.

So that was like one of the things I would always hit my dates with was like this little like, you know, fun little trivia. So I wonder if someone finally like that came across someone at the TTC's desk and was like, that's it. This is how we'll make people not be scared of the subway anymore. Well, it's like maybe they're just really trying to go the opposite way where it's like people like, yo, they're worried about getting stabbed or accosted

and it's like, but maybe we hit them with a, you could find love. Yeah, but could be romance. You will get fucking stabbed by Cupid's knife. Are you ready? This week we are going to be talking about, I'm convinced my husband faked his orgasm and peed on me. Nice.

Oh, right. That wasn't the question. It is your turn. This is the recap part. What's the difference between having sex and making love? One of our friends heard my girlfriend call me a racial slur. Now my friend group is shunning her and trying to break us up. How can I defuse this without telling them the embarrassing truth? Great sex, but we broke up. Hell yeah. It's going to be a spicy episode. Stay tuned. This is by Supernova49. I'm convinced my husband, 26 year old male, faked his orgasm and peed on me, 24 year old female. Yeah,

you read that right. I am married to my husband. Thank you. And I'm absolutely convinced he peed on me and pretended to finish. I apologize for the graphic information. I do not know how to move forward from here. Low context. I've had suspicions in the past. We never used to utilize the pullout method, but since I gave birth to our child, I was not taking any chances. He's been pulling out for two years now, and for the last two years, okay, can we just take a minute? If you're using the pullout method, you are in fact taking many chances. Yeah. But let's get back to it. For the past two years, my mind has been trying to convince me that he's faking his orgasms. The first time I thought to myself, did he just fake it? I swear he just spit on me. I heard him spit and then groan like he finished. But I didn't want to judge.

Maybe he didn't want to disappoint me. However, it kept happening. Eventually, I stopped initiating any sex. I waited for him to make a move. Tonight, we were doing the deed. He was taking longer than usual to finish, but no worries for me. I'm in the dhaalyi style position and he said he's going to finish. All of a sudden, I feel very warm, thin liquid spread all over my back. It was very quick too. I hear a gush of liquid come out of him. And it literally startled me. He said, wow, that was everything I had. And then grabbed a towel to clean me off. I said to him, are you okay? It sounded like you peed. He replies, no, baby, I promise.

Now I'm too scared to push it further. I don't want to make him uncomfortable at all, but my mind is racing. I did gain some weight due to pregnancy. It was high risk. His job is physically demanding. He is blue collar. I guess I'm wondering, how would you move forward with a conversation about this? Yeah... I was gonna say, like, I've never been ejaculated on, but I think I would probably know the difference between being hit with a stream of piss and cum.

Because I imagine there's... There's the quantity, you know what I mean? Like, I don't think I could hit someone with, like, a... A snippet of piss, you know what I mean? Just like, just a small, you know, a cum's worth, a cumming's worth of piss, as it were. For sure, that would be almost impossible, I would imagine. So like, this is where I kind of like, there's so many things to talk about in this question, but like, one, the volume, right? Two, the smell, like, how do you get pissed on

and not know, right? Three, the, like how do you get pissed on and not know right? Three the like the angle if he has a boner and he's pissing it's not gonna land where you'd come It's going like it's going the distance. Yeah for if I wasn't going to come. Yeah, it's it's He can go the distance. He will pee so far You won't know it's come or you won't know it's not come before. Can you imagine the world in which you're like, fuck, I'm not going to come. Better piss on her. That that's my thing is like the ideas, I guess.

The other thing, like what makes this tricky for me is that she has mentioned in the past that he spit and she thought that that was the situation. Because I was going to say, if you're telling me that this man has like locked and loaded just a, you know, a small amount of a couple of milliliters of piss just ready to fucking go at the drop of a hat when he's like, yeah, I've done my job here. I'm done here. Pew. I finished. But the spit is a little more like, here's my solution for you. And next time be like, oh, I want you to come on my tits.

Right? Then it's happening in front of you. And if all of a sudden he's peeing on you, then you know that you, you know, problem solved. And if he starts spitting on you know, problem solved. And if he starts spinning on you, another problem solved. And if you keep requesting that like he stomach, tits, wherever, you know, face, whatever you're comfortable with. Then if, if all of a sudden, like every time he's like, Oh, sorry, I can't, I

can't, I can't, I can't, I can't. Then, okay, maybe you have grounds to be suspicious, but if he's just like, yeah, okay, and then hits you with a really watery cum, then be like, okay, we've solved the problem. It really does not make sense to me that this would be a thing that you ever are suspicious about, but continue to be suspicious about

for seemingly a very long time. And then, why would he change it up? If Spit Gambit is working, why would he move to Piss Gambit? You know You know the mean if all he has to do is riskier Yeah, yeah, if if you've had this happen and never really brought it up or called it or anything I don't think he would move to maybe the worst option perhaps He's he he's always wanted to pee on her Maybe he's a really dry mouth, and he was like, shit, I can't spit.

Oh no, there's only one option. There's only one other liquid I can produce on demand. And it's a tiny amount of pee. Everything about this question is so upsetting. I don't understand how you're in a relationship where you are spiraling over this and are unable to talk or again, take the very simple like steps of like maybe just seeing him when he comes. Do you only fuck Doggy Style?

Yeah. Why? And it's like, it's fine. Like you could, if some people, you know, need a certain position to get them off. Even then it's like, if that's all you do, there's probably something else. I'm saying like maybe that's the finishing move. You know what I mean? Even then, if like if I only had one finishing move,

I would be sad with my sex life. I guess. But like regardless, I'm not here to judge or yuck anyone's yums. I am. If doggy style is what helps you finish fucking great, you can turn around, right? Like you're not stuck in doggy style until liquid has ceased from being expelled from his body. Like you can porno stars do it all

the time, which they get into a position. Like it is possible to get into a new position to receive his ejaculate. Again, this is for testing purposes. I'm not saying you have to, but like if you want to sort of like see what's happening in his downstairs department, you'll need to like turn around. Also like if you OK, one, it's just again, wild to me that this is a concern you have that is not being addressed short of posting it on Reddit. But if I was in this position and I was like, did someone just piss on me and hastily wipe it up with a towel? I would give that towel a sniff. I would also sniff my own.

Like I would put a hand on my back and then sniff that hand. You know what I mean? Like also, there's no way this man has laser fucking aim and has managed to pee on you and keep it solely on your body in the sense of like yes There would be splatter right there. Yes, and like I'm sorry as again I preface this at the beginning saying I've never been ejaculated on but I have both pissed and ejaculated And I know ejaculated on yourself at some point. I'm sure I've got a yeah, of course I know you never done the old like tummy landing zone lying down

Yeah, it's like a camera it on yourself. Yeah, I'm sure I'm sure I have. You've never done the old like tummy landing zone, lying down? Yeah, just anything. There you go. Like, you know. Kim, right on yourself. Yeah, I'm sure I have. Hey, I definitely have. I can promise you I have, yes. I also know the smell difference.

Yeah, okay, like. And that's from someone who has never like willfully smelled piss or ejaculate just existing as a person. I know the difference between those two smells. I could smell you piss across the like you go into a bathroom. It smells like piss. You know what piss smells like this was not like piss is not a stealthy maneuver. No, so that's what I'm saying is like unless you have the craziest arch in all of the arches like you haven't made a pee reservoir on your back

that has stopped it from dropping on your, you should know if you can't tell the difference between whether or not you've been peed on or ejaculated on, I think there's a health concern. Something has gone terribly wrong here. Yeah, there's a concern for your husband's safety. Yeah. Like, I don't know what he's doing.

I think there's a concern that you don't know the difference between the two of them. And and that's the thing. It's like it would. So if he peed a bit and stopped, like you can't hold that for long. It is agonizing and hard. So did he do this, grab a towel, wipe and then run to the bathroom and then piss all over the walls because he has a boner. You know what I mean? Like, is this what happened? Like, do you not know how human bodies work?

Yeah. So then I begin to believe that you have some paranoia about this, which it sounds very clear that you do. Because there's no point where you give a reason. You literally say, where was it? For the past two years, my mind has been trying to convince me he's faking his orgasms. That doesn't start with like, oh, he did this thing to convince me. It seems to be your mind started to do it, then you heard him spit one day and you were like, aha. So I'm worrying,

do you have some kind of mental hole that you've fallen into for some reason and it's just spiraled and kept going because there's no way he would pee on you and you not know via the medium of liquidness, piss, smell, it dripping down you onto the bed or wherever you guys are, it being on the towel. It's volume. It's volume for me. It's volume. Like how would you only have a little bit of piss?

Like unless this is like, Or, and now you see me level of- Or, alternatively, that much cum. Yeah, yeah, right? We've talked about cum, there's not that much. It could be just slightly more watery cum. Has that happened? Yes.

Sometimes you got a big thick load. Sometimes you got slightly waterier load. Especially if you're super hydrated. Exactly. Like if you're really hydrated. Like if you're maybe working a blue collar job like you weirdly point out at the bottom. Also, why did you point out that you gained

a little bit of weight for pregnancy? What the fuck is that? Is that the key? Is that the linchpin? This is why you're insecure? That's what I think it is. I think she's insecure about her body. She thinks that he's not attracted to her anymore

and therefore faking an orgasm, right? I think that's the through line of being like, she's self-conscious, which I get it. You just created human life. A lot of women struggle with body image after the fact, especially like losing the weight or feeling unattractive because of it. Like I totally understand. Yeah, you've gone through a crazy thing physically, mentally, you've been ravaged by hormones and the media is not kind.

So we get it. We get it. And also like you're inundated. I'm sure you follow a bunch of mom influencers and I'm sure all of those bounce back to their their original sizes and shapes because they have the money to afford personal trainers and this is what they do for a living. So I get it. You're stressed out about your body. You're probably insecure about it. And then all of a sudden, you know, one day maybe he had fucking fluff in his mouth and you heard him you know do a little do a little spit to get it out in his mouth and you heard him, you know, do do a little, do a little spit to get it out of his mouth. And that like just,

that was the first domino that triggered or, you know, maybe one day he couldn't finish because he was fucking tired or maybe one day, you know, he took a little longer than usual because of whatever fucking reason like, or maybe like, you know, you looked like a urinal and he kind of went for it a bit and like, you know, but yes, it's you, so many things here. Communication, first and foremost.

If you cannot talk about your concerns, what do you do when being married? What do you do when you're a kid? Oh no, she didn't ask, she asked if he was okay, right? She did at one point around say, did that sound like you peed? He goes, I promise baby. Which is a really suspicious response.

That's a weird answer. So now I'm back on her side. I think he did pee because like. That's what I'm saying. I don't trust either of these people in this question. I think both of them have things they've got to work through. And I think the only way to catch, you got to catch them, right? You got, you got to get him to ejaculate on you or something.

Okay. Um, let's, let Okay, let's go through it. You say, hey, let's do it missionary. Come on my tits, come on my belly, whatever. And if he is like, no, no, no, I don't wanna do that, you're like, oh, you can only finish doggy style? That's great, because a kink of mine is to set up a mirror and watch myself get fucked. At which point, you set up a cunning, like, you know,

like a panopticon of mirrors. you can see his dick from every angle and you can see when his golden arc crests over your back that's Pete or his cum is yellow yeah and both go to a doctor looking into all I can think of this entire question is how angry my partner is going to be while listening to this this episode It's why we do this. I'm I'm a big trouble boys. I'm in big trouble She did however joke While I was coming into the closet to record this to say to preface every question with this is the problem I'm having with my partner to give it a more personal twist

I feel like she would immediately regret that decision. Can you edit that in at the start of this question? Oh, wait, I'm just reading. This one was sent in by Dane. Yeah. What's the difference between having sex, making love? This is from Nacho Man. Damn.

I don't know if this is a weird question, but I usually hear people say there's a difference between the two So what's the difference between having sex and making love? What makes sex go from having sex to making love? It's all about the speed You think so no I think there's there's an implied like Sensuality to making love as opposed to like sex which is like when you're making love you're still having sex but when you're having sex you're not making

love necessarily I appreciate your answer I don't think it means anything no I think people put a meaning to it but here's here's my stance on it if you need a differential between the two of them right like if you need to be able to put a line between them. You're doing it wrong. That's not a like, oh, my partner is asking me to make love to them. Your partner requires something from you. Yeah.

Right? And whether like, it's not like there isn't a thing that you do and all of a sudden, oh, now we're making love. Oops, it's not like a certain, you know, X amount of eye contact or X You know like there isn't something like that because I think it no there is there's a whole chart where it's like X like Amount of eye contact X amount of like if you go over certain BPM not making love anymore You know I mean if you do certain positions instantly not making love you know

I mean if you still got your shoes on not making love you know there's a lot of You know what I mean? If you still got your shoes on, not making love. You know? There's a lot of stuff. Unless, wooden clogs. And then? Oh, but then you've gone past. Now you've made love.

Like you've created it. You've formed it from it. You put them on your feet in the form of wooden shoes. Yeah, yeah. Carved love. So I'm not saying I agree with this term. I'm saying I think that's what people assign to it. Because, you know, I think there are a lot of people

who are like, oh, I fucked this person. I fucked this person I fucked this person but oh I met this person she's wifey material we made love you know what I mean where people like almost assign value to sex and it's like if you're having sex with someone and you don't care enough about them and the process to just be like it's fucking it doesn't mean you know what I mean but then you find someone you're like we made love I think you're really fucked when it comes to sex. I think you have really weird views. But does that mean people don't assign that to sex?

No. Yeah, you're correct in that sense. It's like there is this sort of like societal view, difference between the two of them. And there's also like, you know, in media we see it as well. But we're here to shake that up, though. We're here to bring that. We're going to fuck it. We're here to unmake love to it.

Yeah. So I think like instead of moving into a sexual, you know, situation and think like this time I'm going to make love to her. That doesn't mean anything. Right. The same thing is like as now said, it like Like I I could in my opinion like you could fuck the shit out of someone like really like balls to the wall Toss around that could still be considered making love. Yeah, like I 100% it's like again. I think there's an implied intensity I just don't think the standard definition would include that you know, I mean I know there's like a chasteness and a vanilla-ness to making love, right? Yeah, making love is like lighting candles

and putting on soft music and dimming the room lights. Silk sheets and slow fadeaways. Yeah, and like, you know, eye contact. Yeah, and you know, whispering sweet nothings in each other's ear. And like, you can dirty talk and making love. I don't think that, like, I think the, it's a very, wanted to pure a technical version

Yeah, it's almost like it's sex, but it's not dirty sex. It's pure like fuck off You're not gonna sign fucking morality to types of sex. You know what I mean? I think if if you wanted to and I think if you if you want to have like a Different idea of like, you know, two camps. I think when when it transitions is like making love is when it's like when you're curating your sexual experience, the person you're having sex with to like maximize their pleasure. Right. I think that you should always be doing you should be doing it for sure. But I we know people don't.

Oh, yeah. Right. I think the man. When you know, like what your partner likes and enjoys and you go out of your way to do those things for them, that's making love because you love that person. And again, regardless of whether it's like you're in love with them and like, you know, your your eyes are all heart and your soulmates or whatever. It's like you could love your your fuck buddy. You love your friends with benefit.

You could love your casual sex acquaintance or person. You don't have to be in love with them. I've been called like seven times since we started recording and it's all like spam numbers. So I don't know what's happening, but I'm hopping off. I've been live streaming this with your number underneath. Live calling. People are calling in to be like, wait, what?

Really? I'm pissed too. In Paris, we didn't make love. Life call it people are calling on to be like wait what really? To in Paris we didn't make love I didn't bring my clogs damn it Yes, so I wouldn't worry about it if your partner is asking you to make love for you to you There's probably like a coldness or distance or like a lack of care, but like I don't think Differentiating other than when there are issues is really a problem or a really good thing. That's my point was if someone is asking you to make love to them, I think the next question

should be what does that mean to you? What can I do for you to make you feel like that is the experience you're getting? Because I think there is this vanilla- It's such a personal thing in that regard. As you said, said something is missing so they're the ones that know what's missing It's not like oh we need so cheats and the fucking jazz song Yeah, it's like oh we need candy G gotta light some candles And you know you I'm gonna wear a nice robe or you know we're gonna. I'm gonna save really nice things to you We're gonna come together at the exact same time like're going to come together at the exact same time. Like we're going to piss together at the exact same time.

So don't get hung up on fucking labels and terms and stuff like that. Just just do your best. And if if something seems to be lacking, communicate with your partner and figure out what it is. And if it's something on your side, be honest and open about what you're looking for. And if you think that there's something lacking for them, be like, hey, I wanna increase the intensity. I wanna increase the whatever. What can I do for you?

What can I increase? No, then you're not making love anymore. I know, I know. That's why this problem arose. This is by throwareracestuff. One of our friends heard my girlfriend calling me a racial slur. Now my friend group is shunning her

and trying to get us to break up. How do I defuse the situation without revealing the embarrassing truth? So for context, I'm brown, my girlfriend is white and he is 24, she's 25, the friend is 22. My girlfriend is white, most of our friend group is white as well, fairly progressive. I've always had a submissive streak and my girlfriend was more than happy to accept this both inside and outside the bedroom. Additionally, she's just so sweet and amazing and so accepting of who I am. Honestly, both on a sexual and non-sexual level, she's the best relationship I've ever had by far and a few months in trusting her. I don't know what that means. I've always

had the fetish, which I've been really into, but I've never told anyone about it because it's very taboo. Like people would disown me if I revealed it. Namely, I'm into race play. I like the idea of being in a power dynamic where race is a topic, as well as the idea of being colonized or conquered by a white girl or whatever. I understand that usually for these sorts of fantasies, the genders are flipped, but I've always been really into the idea for a while.

Felt comfortable enough to confess it, she said she'd try it with me. She was really uncomfortable and nervous, and she's fairly liberal, and felt guilty, but apparently seeing I reacted well, it led her push through this and became one of the cornerstones for sex life. I'm obviously a lot more into it than she is, but I think she's gotten into it because of how it makes me act too.

We've been engaging in this game for a few months now. That's most the background story. Blah, blah, blah. Basically, me and my GF were hosting our friend group for a party. Soon as winding down, everyone left. We went to our bedroom to get ready for bed and she casually called me a slur pretty loudly because we thought everyone had left. Apparently, one of our friends had not actually left and came back to our bedroom to get ready for bed and she casually called me a slur pretty loudly because we thought everyone had left. Apparently one of our friends had not actually left and came back to get her keys, harried everything, came upstairs to yell at my girlfriend who was horrified. I tried to defend her saying it was a joke,

but our friend didn't accept it and said I was the victim of racist abuse and had Stockholm Syndrome. Eventually I got her to leave, but then the situation got worse. Our friend group was blown up calling my girlfriend all sorts of names, telling me to dump her. They even tried confronting me at my job when I got off for an intervention without the racist. For her part, my girlfriend has been catatonic. Like I said, she's fairly liberal, so being called racist by all her friends has been

damaging. She's been crying, asking if she really was racist and if she was abusing me for taking part in my fantasies. I don't know. It's crazy. I feel really guilty because I'm seeing what all of this does to her. I've tried telling our friends several times I'm not a victim. We like to engage in dark humor, but they're not biting and sending me articles about how racist jokes are still punching down on some shit. I feel like literally all I can do to restore my

GF's reputation is tell the truth. The truth would be so, so embarrassing for me. Unlike if it got back to people within my community, I think I might legit get disowned or something. I'm confused on what to do. Do I fall on my sword? Is there an easy way out of this where I don't have to reveal my depraved fantasies, but my girlfriend keeps her reputation? Yikes Well, I think unfortunately This is this is a mess that you started and this is a mess that you got to clean up and I don't say that lightly, but, um, I, I was really worried that they were

engaging in this in a public sphere and got caught at which point I would be like, that's your fucking fault, but you were in your private house. You think you were in your bedroom. You were unaware that someone had come back into your space. I, I sympathize with that. That sucks. Your, what you do in your bedroom, quite literally, is your business. Everyone seems consensual.

I think she's on the same page as I would be in that situation, of being like, if someone wanted that. I've been with a partner before who wanted something similar. We did it once and I was like, hey, that sucked for me. I appreciate that you're into it, but like not for me. Can't do it. Yeah. So unfortunately,

I think there is just as much damage being done to your partner as in this climate. I mean, maybe swinging back, I would say I would say far more damage being done to the partner short of the getting disowned part. But like that's what I mean. I don't see how that would get back to people because like, if you have these friends who, as you say, are white and progressive and whatever, it's like, they should know better than to kink shame.

And if they're actually your friends, you should also be able to be like, hey, I didn't tell you because I was embarrassed, but also more importantly, I don't want to get literally disowned. So can you keep that to yourself? That's a very good point. If they're shitbags, do you even want to be friends with them? But also, this was your thing,

and you not jumping to the defense of your girlfriend when they're in this really bad position, I think is really shitty. Yeah, I mean, what you should have done was the second your friend came up to it, be like, hey, listen, here's the situation. We didn't know you were here. This is a sex thing.

Yeah. And I understand it like, because the problem with now is. You've already made these weird lies and now it might sound like you're like digging up. It's, it's not just that, but like other people know. Right. So it's like, you could have a talk with this one friend. And then all of a sudden this friend's going to have to like everyone else be like no, it's cool. Why it just is Like that's not a solution anymore, right? You could have you could have cut this off at the feet But you you you sort of like again the answer you gave of being like it was a joke

Sucks that yes because yeah, you essentially said my partner likes making racist jokes and I deal with it. Right. Like, so I understand the friend's reactions from it. Yes. I also would be incredibly uncomfortable if I heard somebody say something like that about one of my friends. You know what I mean? Yeah. And they're just being like, it's a joke. It, that's not a, oh, sorry. Yeah. I mean, like, even if it was, I mean, like, I can only assume some of the slurs that are probably being used and like, listen first. So like, it's it's one thing, like if you were calling them a stupid little bitch or something, you know, I mean, like that would be like, no, that's just like, you know, that that I think.

But like, it's tough to use a slur and be like, that's a joke. It's a joke. It's like, if I had a gay friend and use gay slur or like any friend and use a slur, like it doesn't matter how close you are. The definition of slurs is like, they have so much power just by the word that it's like, it's very hard to then be like, oh no, it's, there's affection somehow. Like, cause you could mock someone without doing the worst word for them

You know, yeah, it's it's tough and I think you I think you fuck this situation Oh, you've not so hard by not defending your partner honestly in in the beginning because the thing is you're so my concern I didn't hear that the friends were also white I thought the friends were members of his community as well. Which is why I thought it was a lot more of a risk of like it getting into sort of like, you know, more cultural spaces for him. Like whether he goes to some sort of like religious institution, I don't know what he does for work. I don't know how ingrained the family is, that kind of thing, right? Like that's why I was, but if your friends are also white, I think then I, at this point in time, you need to come clean.

And I understand I wouldn't want to be like, here's here's a cake that I've never told anyone and is quite sort of taboo. And, you know, we're a pretty progressive show and I would consider race play pretty taboo. I don't know. I feel like my views are very weird, probably because of this show. But it's like if a friend told me that I'd be like, okay like you do you you know I mean if you want to do some stuff and it's conceptual and it's you're both into it and it's all that it's like That's fine

But I do I do understand the hesitant like it's not like him being like, oh I like to be spanked I like to be ballgagged right like be like, oh, yeah like to be spanked or I like to be ballgagged, right? Like be like, oh yeah, I asked my partner to say, yeah, horrible things to me. It's just, it's so shitty that this person is putting like embarrassment. Again, I'm kind of stepping aside from the being shunned in the community thing because like I failed to see how that would happen. You know what I mean? Again, if your friends are chill and not in that community, I don't know how it gets back to them,

but if it's just your embarrassment versus this person maybe losing their career, social standing, everything, you know what I mean? It's like, I don't know how you could stand there and let them suffer massively for a thing they did to you, kind of reluctantly. They've done all this for you, the fucking least you can do is have their back. Yeah, and that's kind kind of it right like we've seen it so many times where it's like it's pretty much impossible to walk back from

Certain accusations. Yeah, right like if for whatever reason someone goes to her job. Yeah and and complains It's like okay. Great. She's lost her her job now Yeah, and she can't just go in in a week and be like, hey, so they were actually in. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's something you need to do ASAP. You need to do that. You need to fix this problem immediately. And I think that's one of those things that like as the person

whose kink it is, that's part of the responsibility. If for some reason this kink puts your partner in a compromising position or something. You know what I mean? When it's your thing, part of the responsibility and ownership and being respectful of kink is them being the one to protect your partner from any potential fallout of what they're doing for and with you.

Yeah. I mean, imagine if you were into some sort of like, if you were into pretty aggressive choking or something and you had bruises around your neck and someone was like, hey, are you okay? And the answer was, oh yeah, my boyfriend was just joking around. Yes. What the fuck?

Like I would be pissed. It's like, no. Or like imagine like consensual non-consent or something. And someone for some reason came in and saw or heard that and you didn't immediately fess up to what was happening. And you know. Yeah, if you were just like, oh, it was just a joke. We were just playing around like, no, no, be like, hey, we have, you know, all these precautions in place. We have this, we have that. This is what we do.

We're very safe. You know, it's by my request. Here are the things that we do to take care of each other. Here are the, here are the aftercare that we do. Like, yes, you, you have an absolute onus to fix this and sorry if it comes at your detriment like that sucks I understand the dilemma but you you you flick the domino you got to reset them like it's like there's fallout no matter what and the fallout can either be really bad for this

person like whose kink it isn't or bad for you whose kink it is and like I think we both know which one's the fair way for this to go. kink it isn't or bad for you whose kink it is and like I think we both know which one's the fair way for this to go yeah like you can't get off scott-free because it might be uncomfortable for you yeah 100 percent this is from impressive noise great sex but we broke up hi I recently a 27 year old female started dating a, a 26 year old male. Off a bumble. He's such a sweet guy, funny, and he's nice to be around.

Our sex is so hot. The best I've ever had. But we've come to terms, we had a talk last night, that we are only together because sex is amazing. We aren't really a good match together, but we enjoy each other's company. I like him, but I don't love him. And we kind of broke up yesterday. It was a bad ending because we did have a small argument, but I am still so physically attracted to him

All I think about is us having sex. I'm not upset about us breaking up But what do I do should I mention to him that we should keep hooking up or is that heading down the wrong road? I feel like when you break up a clean cut is generally for the best It's for me. I don't understand the like what, what was this conversation? What was the argument? Right? Like you, you both recognize it like, oh, hey, our sex is incredible, but we don't see longevity in this relationship. That's fine. Right? Like I don't see the need to like you can both be aware of that, especially like it's even better when both of you are on the same page. It would be different if, if she was like, oh, I really like him. But he says,

well, my worry is that there's a hidden I really like him in there or or, you know, on his side or her side. Did it say how long they were dating? No, just recently. OK, because if it's like if you just started dating and you realize like, once you started doing the dating stuff that all you Want is sex it's been you know a recent enough development and you're both on the same page 100% like we've talked before about what like you shouldn't just cut off good things because you're looking for something else In the way that like if you're single you're single you can still have sex with them You know, there's no harm and having good sex and then occasionally going on dates or meeting other people once again you're not like cheating on somebody or you know

especially like if you're so hung up on this guy you're not gonna be a good person to date right like every dude who comes after this dude is gonna be compared to him and if you've still got the Jones in for this guy then no one's gonna stand up because all you're gonna do do is like, it's going to be built up in your head more and more. The rose tinted glasses are going to go on. And what was great sex is now going to become like mythical. Yeah, impossible to even get. You're going to remember how good it was.

And it's going to you're going to be held to a standard that like will never will never be able to to accomplish. So it's you kind of got to get this guy out of your system one way or the other, whether it's- But get him into your system. Yeah, whether you let him piss all over you from behind and then spit on you, or you figure out a way to move on. Yeah.

But I don't see, if you are both, if you feel like emotions aren't gonna get in the way, good sex is great, so why not, right? I would, the only time I would be hesitant for this is if you are, like you gotta be very honest with yourself and make sure that you don't think feelings will creep back in. And I think also just be very clear about what you are now

so that people aren't hurt if someone goes on a date in two weeks or whatever. Yeah, yeah, so I think having a conversation with this guy being like, yeah, hey, look, we're on the same page. We don't see a relationship happening out of this. And that's okay with me, because I really like having sex with you. So if you would like to continue to just have sex when it's available for us, you know, when our schedules line up. And if you want to just keep me in your like, you know, Rolodex booty call, I am comfortable

still fucking you. But you know, I don't really want to go on dates with you. That's fine. And like that puts you've you've put a ball in his court. If he wants to pick it up and play, that's fine. He might just be like, yeah, no, sorry. Like if I don't see a thing going, then I don't really want to progress with it. And that's fine too.

You know, that's his prerogative. He's allowed to do it. Um, but I think there is no harm in tilting your hand here because you've you've already lost it regardless. Yeah, I think you got it. And as long as you're not like super desperate or weird about it. Don't be weird about it. Yeah. Just be like, hey, I like fucking you.

If you want to keep doing that, I'm down. Good. You care for another. Yeah, we can do another. The one I had for last is actually kind of long, so I'm going to just pull one up real quick because it's just too long. Here we go. This is by Laurie1270. How can I, a 22-year-old female, break up with my boyfriend, 28-year-old male?

He wants to be with me forever. He also owes me $500 and I resent him. This has been asked before, but I need some direct reassurance I'm making the correct choice and how to go about it. Been dating him for a year and a half, but I've noticed he has a problem with lying. I've directly caught him in one big one and there have been a few other things

I have a strong suspicion about. He is a horrible liar, but I cannot prove. Due to this, I don't think I can trust him. It's not fair to me nor him, and I think I've also grown resentful because there are things I know he's lying about, but just can't prove it. They irk me to my core how do I break up with him I know I technically just go to his house and do it but I don't know

what to say to him like at all I've never broken up with anyone before and I worry I'll go out there with the intention of doing it but not do it I wish I could do it over text or even a call but I worry that's disrespectful another issue here is he owes me money about $500 which is a lot for me as a student how do I ask for that back while also breaking up with him yeah the money Another issue here is he owes me money, about $500, which is a law for me as a student. How do I ask for that back while also breaking up with him? Yeah, the money thing complicates things. Everything else is pretty simple.

Where if you don't trust someone, and I don't even think you need to go into like a big spiel, right? Like you're pretty young. I know there's this idea that a breakup should be super final and have closure and have this, you know, you have a big speech prepared and you, you, but it's like, you can literally just tell someone, Hey, this isn't working out for me. 100%. I, you know, I'm sorry, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But like I, I'm out. Like it doesn't need to be anything more than that.

And again, break up over fucking text. If it feels like some, if the, ad that's the only way you can do it Sure, I will say like if you're just lazy or like you don't like confrontation or something I think you should probably try to get to a point where you can go and do this in person because it is Kinder and it's probably a skill you should learn if you are concerned that it's going to be like aggressive or Danger of any kind by all means email or text or whatever but like I think we can lying to her all the time I don't know she owes that kind of sure right that's my thing she ain't proven it it's true

no but for real like if someone has lost like if they don't respect you and they've lost that respect they don't have the right either to then be given that respect. So, you know, if someone's doing shitty things for you, like it doesn't, even if you know they're not gonna do anything unsafe, you don't owe them anything. Yeah, no, no. And like, I agree with what you're saying

in terms of like, breaking up over Texas is kind of a dick thing to do. It's not very respectful, it's not very kind. But, at the end of the day- But, you make a good point, if you've lost that privilege by being a dick, it's like, sure. Yeah, and if the two options are,

I don't know if I can physically do it in person, so I guess I'm gonna be staying in this relationship forever, or I'm gonna send kind of a shitty way of getting out of it. Sorry, but life, you gotta serve yourself. Ideally, you're also being kind and taking care of everyone else around you while you're doing that. But at the end of the day, it's like you shouldn't be in a relationship that you don't want to be in because of situations in which you

have a hard time doing these things, especially when that person seems to be a piece of shit. Now we got to talk money. The money makes things tough. You need to figure out right now, what is more important, ending this relationship or getting that money? Because let me tell you,

I don't think you're doing both at once. Yeah, if you want the money, you gotta do it in person, I think. I don't think you can text. No, if you want the money, you gotta do it in three weeks. And between now and those three weeks, you gotta get the money.

I don't think they're giving you the money after you break up because people are assholes So if you really need the money you message them today and you say hey look I You know, I really need that money back. Like I know I lent you the $500 Like can we you know, when can you get that to me by right? Yeah I'm be or be like I need by the end of the week You can lie and say something came up You can say your mom is is upset because she saw your savings and you're down 500. It doesn't really fucking matter. These are what we call white lies.

See what their response is. Now, they are a bit of a liar, so you need a hardcore guarantee. That guarantee can't be next year. It could be like, oh, next week or the week after. That's gonna give you a little time. That sucks, but you need to make it soon enough that you can get to that point. Then you might get the money back. And I would also say, take what you can get. If he's like, oh, I only have $100 right now, be like, great, I'll take the $100,

and then you'll only have 400. That's a much smaller number. So you might only get 250 or 300 dollars out of the 500 Better than zero and now with this asshole I will also say if you get him in text saying that he has He has taken the money from you and owes it to you and maybe you get him on a little voice recording And maybe you talk to a lawyer and you bring him to the small claims court there There are ways you could do this if you really need that money

Yeah, but I feel like that's gonna cost you more than 500 bucks it depends You can also just threaten them a little bit with it. You know yeah so I'm just saying there are options if you really really really need that money if You got a way that against staying with him for an extra week or two though, right? Yeah, and I will say there's no harm And when you break up with him being like hey you do owe me that money though because maybe he's Decent person will give it to you. I just don't think he will yeah my my guess is nine times out of ten Some people are a piece of shit. Yeah granted. You know I've you know when I broke up with my ex

We we had things to be exchanged between each other and it was fine Yeah, cuz you're not a piece of shit. Yeah, that's true. When me or my ex broke up, she stole my projector and binned all my furniture. So there we go. Yeah. So be like me and not like Niles X.

Yeah. Or like Nile who deserved all this stuff to be thrown out. The best part is fully didn't in any way, shape or form. But of course you didn't. I'm kidding No, I wish I did it would have made the whole thing a lot easier That's gonna do it friends. Thank you very much for hanging out with us for this fine exciting lovely episode It was fine exciting and lovely wasn't it? It was we love you. Thanks for swinging by if you like us

Please consider supporting us on patreon. Please share us with a friend. Please like and or subscribe to our videos and our accounts and comment and yeah just do the things. The more people know about us, the better we do and you know that's always nice. But thank you for coming back time and again. Thank you Josh Eagle and the Harvest Cities for their song Paper Stars and thank you everyone for getting comfortable as I lead you Into some bad sex writing. No, no. Oh No, you really gonna complain. It's bad sex right? I know but you love it This is a book called the last starfighter

1984 by Alan Dean Foster movie Maggie climbed the steps onto the porch watching Alex closely as she came up behind them. She took a minute to study the video screen but the nuances of the game were lost on her. Girls didn't go in for the war games no matter what the women's libers might claim. Girls prefer crushing nasties and millipede or complicated maze games like Pac-Man is variants. She didn't care much for any of them. She only took an interest because Alex was interested and she admired his skill. That's, it's so funny.

I was talking to my partner today about girl gamers and how they're all fake. I know, but the women libbers, would have you believe that they could comprehend something like say DND, doubt it. No, no. Well, have you seen recently the quote from Gary Gygax, who was just like-

Which fucking bullshit one? Women don't get it. Women just don't understand. It's like, okay, dude, Emily Axford would burn a hole through your chest and out the other side with her sheer mastery of the game. I would love to just watch just resurrecting incredible women and femme performers in the D and D space region to his heart or his chest and rip out his, his beating heart and eat it like multiple like like kind of like a Khaleesi situation but also a I believe

Temple of Doom situation yeah yeah just just everything yeah he just be shredded it would be like if he showed Shrek to like a peasant in medieval times and they would just blow apart from the she's unravel like the Loki yeah yeah get a vacation that's what would happen with Gary. Guy Gax. Fuck you guys. Fuck you. My name is Dave Miller and I'm now Spain.

We've been your fuck buddies.