F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 345 - Podcaster Murder Forest

Episode Date: May 26, 2025

Just try to stump us, we dare you!  Topics include interracial dating techniques, a surprise ejaculation, being the side character in your boyfriends rom-com arc, unacceptable sluttiness.

I put my trust in you, and I'm trusting out love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love I put my trust in you, and I'm trusting out love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love Hello friends, my name is Dave Miller. And I'm Niles Payne. And we're your fuck buddies. We are a sex and dating advice podcast where we take your sticky sexy situations and turn them into sexy sticky situations. Look, you give us questions or we find them roaming the wild on the internet and guess what we do with them? We solve them.

We answer them. We answer them. Sometimes we get stumped. I would say that's happened a few times. I would say maybe once or twice. And when that happens, we kill the person that's happened a few times. I would say maybe once or twice. And when that happens, we kill the person that asked the question. Yeah. And that's the thing. If you have, if you aren't existing and you're the question asker, then the question itself, the question is to exist.

Yeah. Yeah. If somebody asked a question in the forest and there's no one around to hear it, because you're dead, is the question even asked? Yeah. if two podcasters take a person into the forest and burn them legend with our mic stands were they killed were they I Just got back from seeing the new final destination movie, okay, so Perhaps man you can't spoil that's really just secret podcasters following everyone because they asked them questions They didn't end or can't answer it started Well, I mean this one a little bit of a spoiler starts in the like 1950s or 60s. Oh We're going to wait by all timey refrigerators. When did bad mood rising come out?

Because I'm pretty sure that song is playing on the radio. It's definitely not the 50s Is this among our worst beginnings? 50s is this among our worst beginnings It also is my partner and I have been doing a healthy month and we're trying to like eat clean eat healthy We haven't had any candy or sugar Today was one of one of two cheat days in the month to that you've had so far to that you've decided in advance You can have this month. Yes, we we knew there was one day to which one you motherfucker. Yeah, I'm going to beat you to death with this mic stand. Yeah, we we knew there was going to be one.

And then there was this one was kind of like a surprise. We got some bad news. So we're like, you know, we're going to we're going to chill and we're going to go see this movie and we're going to we're going to, you know, get get some candy and get some pop. So I'm fucking jacked up on sugar right now. Oh, that's fun. Cause I'm the opposite. I'm dying of a cold. Yeah. Jacked up on sugar and murder. Yeah. I feel like somebody has broken into my home and decided that actually I hate

this home and the home is my head and they brought a baseball bat and decided to smash it up. It's tiny podcasters like Osmosis Jones podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Doing a question would I ask a podcaster that they couldn't answer? I don't know. We should probably talk about what we're doing this week, right? Yeah. This week we're gonna talk about white Canadian dating Indian girl. Secret ejaculation. Am I a side character of my boyfriend's rom-com arc with his girl best friend? Oh no, and husband can't stand that I'm slutty. Well, depending on how that manifests. I get it.

This is by connectoperation96. White Canadian dating Indian girl. Why am I finding that question title so hard to say? I've been single for nearly six months, had a rough breakup, but I'm completely over it now. I've set up a hiking trip with my co-workers who I've known for three years. I've always found her very attractive. She is Hindu from Gujarat. Her English is good but she's a little shy around native English speakers. I don't expect any sexual actions or

intimacy whatsoever, though obviously bonus. I just like to enjoy the view and show her some of the beauty Canada has to offer as she's only been locked in the Toronto area slash Brampton if you know you know. Any advice would be great. Things not to do culturally speaking would be great. I know a little about Indian history and culture but are there any topics that should be avoided? I've dated other races before but I've never been on a date with someone from India. Uh I mean look dude if you go on a date with someone and you think that you're going to tailor it specifically around that person's race and culture, you're going to have a weird time. I have such an awful time. I don't know if it would be particularly like, it'll be bad for them.

I assume. Yeah, like just, just the just the overall vibe is gonna be so fucking weird Then I don't think anyone is going to enjoy like it would be like I'm trying to it's tough as a white guy To make examples of this question. Well, how about this? I am from Ireland if I went on a date and everyone was like Arland Arland Arland Arland like if every question or everything that they said or did was somehow related to Arland or Irish history or cult, like I would fucking hate that and it would be so bizarre and it would be like I'm a person. Thank you very much. Yeah, I mean like look if you're dating someone from

another culture or race or whatever, and you do something that may be culturally insensitive to them, but it's like, it's kind of a non-issue. Like for example, if you talk about your past relationship and for whatever reason in this culture it's super offensive to do that, then that's not on you. You know what I mean? Like it's not your job to understand the ins and outs and like cultural norms of everyone. In terms of like taboo subjects,

it's your job to not make it weird that they aren't the same culture as you or the same race as you. That's your, that's the only responsibility you have when it comes to dating someone that isn't your ethnicity or culture. Even then, even if it is your ethnicity or culture, you don't know what their values

are, right? Because they're new to you. Yeah. So it's like for all you like, there's no difference. You should just treat them like a person. And hanging this lantern on the fact that they're Indian is so fucking weird. And it's going to make this date suck. And it's bad. Yeah because like the the safest route you could go quote-unquote with this

would be to like Google you know dating cultural dating norms in India and reading on like a wiki how or something that you can't confirm the authenticity of. And even then it doesn't necessarily pertain to this person. So if you're acting weird and they're like, what are you doing? Well, I Googled how to date an Indian person and they're not doing it. They're going to be like, hey, that sucks. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Like to go in, you know, it's a weird move. And I think it's a landmine to try to Preempt and frontload your knowledge as to what to do with this person because of their ethnicity It's you're you're putting way too much importance on it, which is Uncomfortable it's like they're that first and a person second and that's not good And you're also not going to know whether or not you are compatible with them, because I'm worried that there's also an, like, a bit of you that is going to change in order to fit their whatever. So that you could get with them, which you shouldn't be doing.

You shouldn't be changing who you are as like a sort of like ethnic, cultural, like chameleon in order to sleep with people of different ethnicities and cultures because that's weird and scummy to be like, oh, now because I'm dating an Indian girl, I'm going to have X, Y, and Z set of beliefs and standards so that you think I am a similar value, you know, similar values as you so that we can sleep together. But the second you don't am similar values as you, so that we can sleep together. But the second you don't wanna do that anymore or we break up, those values won't work.

Yeah, then I'm gonna date an Irish girl and I'm gonna suddenly hate the British and oh, I'm gonna date a French person and I'm gonna love Brie. Like, no, dude, what are you doing? Exactly. You gotta stop. It's the same thing as like-

This is a person, you gotta treat it the exact same way as dating any other person, which is you just go you learn about them. Fuck the culture, fuck the ethnicity. Like that doesn't really matter. And if it does, it'll come up and then you can engage with that in a way where you won't be like, I know, I Googled it. You could be like, oh, cool, tell me more. And that's, that's where the joy is, right? If they, if their ethnicity or their fucking culture is important, you get to find out from them in a way that one is relevant and two is exciting because you're learning something new from someone you like.

And it's important as opposed to you reading like each subculture and country and religion and possibility, and then being fucking weird and acting on them when they're not necessarily applicable. Calm down. Because like all that stuff, like culture and ethnicity and all the things that sort of like are inherent to a person just for existing, like they can't change any of that stuff, right? You know what I mean?

Like that's just who they are. That informs them and then they inform you. It shouldn't be the other way around, right? Like you shouldn't take what you know of, of them and what their ethnicity or their culture or whatever, inform yourself to get to know them. You're skipping the step of, of interacting with the person you're going on a date with. And that is, it's the same thing we've talked about before. It's like when people were like, Oh, this guy I'm dating is really into soccer or football or something. How do I like, what do I do to

like crash course to know, pretend like I know all about this? And it's like, well, you're skipping the part where you get to connect with this person, where I'm sure they would love to sit down and watch a match with you and explain the rules and like talk about a thing they're passionate about with someone that they like. And you're skipping that. And that's even a different situation where you actually know they like football in that situation as opposed to just being like, they're a man,

so they must like football, you know what I mean? And there's also hard and fast rules of football. Like you could look up the rules of football and be like, I know what that is, I know what a down is, I know what a touchdown is, whereas like. Oh, you're not talking about like football, football. I know what American football. Kicking is.

But yeah, as opposed to. You can opposed to like, oh, he's Irish. Therefore, yeah, no, please. You're gonna be so weird and creepy. And I'm hoping the stems from like a positive thing and not a weird racist thing. Cause I think it could go either way. I mean, I think even if it's positive, I think it still stems from like, yes, institutional racism. You know what I mean, I think even if it's positive, I think it still stems from like,

yes, institutional racism. You know what I mean? Like, there's still this like, you're not like, I could date a white person because they're people, but you, who? Yeah, God, what do I do? It's a mythical creature from another land, another exotic land, right? Like it's fucked. It's so gross. And you're reducing someone to this like Term or like you know I mean they're not a person. They're Indian. They're not a person. They're Irish They're not a person. They're French. You know like fuck that stop. We had a great guest on our other show no quest for the wicked Omega Jones critical bard Where when we were talking about his his character

He was like oh, I'm playing an orc, but you know, this, this and that, because races aren't monoliths. And that could be translated very easily into the real world of being like, just because someone is from Ireland or from India or from wherever, it does not mean that they are the cookie cutter, you know, stereotypical norm of that culture. So it's like, you could look up like dating culture of anywhere and date someone who doesn't place worth on any of those values. The same way that like, I'm sure that I don't have very similar values

to what most people would consider traditional North American, traditional Canadian dating. You know what I mean? Like I, if you, I've never once seen you give someone the moose. I haven't done a single traditional customary beaver exchange. Yeah. I've never built an igloo with someone, but it's, it's very strange that like you, I'm sure during your dating period and experience have met people who have tons of different values in terms of like

Whether they want to date other people while you're like in the talking phase, you know How often they want to communicate blah blah blah blah blah all these things are different from person to person to person to person Because if they weren't dating we wouldn't need to have a show. Dating would be very easy. You would just go on to www.datingrules.com. Dating how dot IE. Yeah. Oh, there we go. Four steps. Wow.

Irish people are really easy. Yeah. Even like those know how to poor Guinness. The amount of people you've dated who are Canadian and each one of them is different, et cetera, et cetera. So stop it. Don't pigeonhole people. Don't just be like, oh, they're from this country. Boom. Like and stop putting so much importance by all means,

allow space for it to be important and respect that. Yes, nothing wrong with that. But there is something to like preemptively being like, this is, this is the most important part about you. You know what I mean? Like, stop fetishizing it in the way. And it's just you've you've done it backwards. Right. Like you if you went on a date and then realize it like, oh, culturally,

there are some pretty big gaps between what we what we view as normal dating, what they view as normal dating. And I'm not sure how to bridge those. That's a whole different question. And that I think is kind of like what you're getting at but you're doing the cart so far before the horse the horse Doesn't know where the card is and actually maybe you also have forgotten where the card is. Oh shit. It's in another city The horse is running free man. The horse is horses going crazy. You don't need a cart yet

Yeah, so just say ride the horse, but then that makes the woman the horse. That's No, not what I want to do is the woman the horse. I don't know I Think the woman's the date and the carts the the information who knows you the horse is he the whole you you you? Yeah, I don't know. There's gonna be there was gonna be jokes. He just there's something funny there Well, go and hit up jokes comm There was gonna be there was gonna be jokes. He just there's something funny there Well, go and hit up jokes calm He gave me didn't tell me this is from personally I'm here So I was having sex with this guy for the first time and I was riding him He was really quiet throughout the whole thing and suddenly I felt his dick getting soft inside

So I naturally thought oh my god, he hates it. I'm doing an awful job He hates it so much as dick is just went limp. I tried being gentle because I didn't want to hurt him. But I started moving my hips slowly, trying to get him harder and kissing him. But then I just felt him get softer and softer. So I gave up and climbed off him. When I climbed off the condom got stuck inside me and he started panicking. It was real. And I was really confused. I went to the bathroom, clean myself up and told him everything was fine. If he didn't come, we'd be fine. I told him I had or and then he told me he had. I was so confused like he made no noise. He gave me no heads up that he was coming and he didn't tell me when he had come

since it was only like five minutes. I genuinely thought he just didn't enjoy it. Has this ever happened? Why would he do that? OK, I'm assuming if he came, sure, he didn't react. That's, you know, I don't think a intentional thing. Maybe he was just in the zone or he's been conditioned by years of very silent jackhammering porn that men don't react. But if he didn't tell you, maybe that was because he was trying to squeeze every last drop of his boner into you. That sounds wrong, given the context. But I mean,

it's like, if it been so so short of a time He was probably like oh I won't tell her so that hopefully we can still get a little bit more Sex time out of this and it won't be as embarrassing or she won't be upset that I've come like quickly Yeah I imagine he wasn't like I came because he was just trying to like keep going and Maintain hardness so that you would you're like, oh, we're still having sex, not, oh, he came really early. Yeah, he came a little faster than he wanted to

and thought that he could probably power through it and unfortunately- Squeeze out more of his boner. Squeeze out more of his boner. And got embarrassed and realized that like, oops, physiology and biology is taking over here and unfortunately, you know, it was one of those things, and like like the reason he didn't react the reason he was so quiet was probably because he was holding On for dear fucking less also probably that right like he was probably he was like, oh shit. I'm coming like I don't know

No, no, no, no, no, no, no Shit for tennis. Oh god. He was doing the Punisher and no no no no no Just in his brain. So No, no, no, no, no. Just in his brain. So you you don't have anything to worry about other than potential pregnancy. Getting tested, maybe grabbing a morning after pill. All those fun things. But I I think this is pretty cut and dry.

I don't think there's anything nefarious happening here. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like if if you were giving him a blowjob and he like Surprise came in your throat. I'd be like, okay. Yeah, maybe you should give you a heads up or like You know there are times when if you were gonna pull out and he didn't yes He should have given you a heads up like but this is like you have a condom and you're having sex It's like it doesn't need to give you a heads up. You know, I mean Yeah, unless you specifically have requested before me like hey

I like to be extra safe and wear a condom and like, I don't want you to finish because I've had women who who've preferred that method as well being like, even though we're wearing a condom, do you mind like not finishing inside me? And it's like, yeah, for sure. If that's what you want, that's fine. But it doesn't seem like you don't mention that. So I'm not going to assume that that is the situation.

It just seems like you are maybe confused, which is fine, but we've answered that so you got it Yeah, he was just he wanted to squeeze every last truck No, he just wanted to last longer and seem probably like he didn't come as quick as he did because he was embarrassed Yeah, so and then unfortunately the human body took control. Yeah, he was doing it for you. He was time for him. Yeah All right, am I a side character of my boyfriend's rom com arc with his girl best friend? The question asker is 25 female, the boyfriend is 26 male,

and the girl best friend is 26 year old female. I've been dating this guy for six months. Let's call him Mark. He's sweet, thoughtful, hella gorgeous, and just green flags all around. No issues with boundaries, but then there's his best friend, Claire. They've been besties since literally kindergarten, so over 20 years.

Here's the thing, Claire is hot AF. I swear to God, they look like one of those hot magazine couples when they're side by side. Think Sidney Sweeney and Glenn Powell on their rom-com movie book, Platonic, apparently. They've never hooked up, not once, not even a tipsy college makeout. Everyone swears by this. Even Claire herself has been super kind to me and no shady vibes at all. They don't overstep.

They don't hang out excessively. She doesn't compete with me for his time. But when they've been single at the same time, the jokes and the shipping start. I saw an IG post from a wedding they attended last year where they're each other's plus ones and they looked insanely good together. The comments of friends and family were shipping them.

People were saying end game or just date already. Claire's sister commented, which part of the love Rosie arc is this? And I felt that. Now I'm in the picture. Everyone's been welcoming and respectful, but I get the feeling I'm just a guest star in a rom-com. Like I walked into the middle of a love story that's been slow building for 20 seasons. Mark says he sees Claire like a sister. Claire has never done anything to suggest otherwise. Am I being insecure? Is this just internalized rom-com brain rot? Am I just ignoring a giant neon sign

that says they're end game and I'm just a plot device? Oh man, this is, look, you're fighting something that I think no amount of advice or people telling you to wake up is gonna fix, unfortunately Unfortunately, we're going to do it. Hoping that no, let's skip the question. You're right. At some point in time, hopefully someone who does need to hear this and is a little bit more receptive to it will hear it.

And you know, or someone will hear this. And then when they get into the situation, they can reflect back on it. But I think you are so far gone down this rabbit hole of this idea that these people are like, you're talking about the shipping. You're doing that. Yeah, you're talking about the friends and the family and the sisters and blah, blah, blah, blah, shipping these two, you're dating one of them, and you're shipping them. So it's very obvious that this is a vibe

that they just give off. And it seems unfair to this dude and to his friend that you are discounting the fact that they have multiple opportunities to have hooked up, to have dated. Two decades of opportunities, in fact. Alongside being egged on, alongside going to weddings together, prime time to hook up if they ever wanted to,

they were dating each other, each other's plus ones at a wedding while people were saying, you guys are great, blah, blah, blah. Also love is in the air, drinks are flowing, you probably got a hotel room. Like it's... And like, if you take a picture together and someone says, you guys are such a hot couple,

you could turn to the person you're in the picture with and be like, I think they're right. And boom, door open, bam, you're in. Like it's easy. Everyone's setting you up. You just need to hit them back. So they've had all the time in the world. And even aside from all that,

you specifically say he's been great about it. She's been great about it. There's no competition. There's like no shady vibes. You are saying like literally nothing is giving you the indication here that this is bad. Even the other friends aren't doing this weird shipping thing now that you're together. Yes. Just done it in the past. So it's like if you weren't

creeping these old photos, you wouldn't know. Presumably. Yeah. So you need to get a handle on. Okay, look, you're right. It is romcom brain rot. Yeah. It is rom-com brain rot Yeah, or is it Marvel's brain rot because she keeps saying endgame true, right? Is she on their left creeping them out looking at them? Maybe trying to get some pin particles to go back in time to make sure they weren't friends two decades ago Is that what she's kind of hinting at could be at any cost now at any cost? No matter the cost. I don't remember what they say. I just watched it too. Yeah

Sorry, I just really want to get an endgame joke in there. It's weird and look I understand you feel inadequate and that insecurity is Tearing you apart and tearing this relationship part So you need to decide for your sake and his sake whether or not you can let this go. Because if you can't let it go, it's gonna be so bad for you because, oh yeah, it's gonna suck.

And you're gonna make their lives shitty and your life and it's just gonna be so bad. And the thing is, I think you need to listen to these points. They have not done anything. That is very important. And you believe them, which I think is also an incredibly important part, right? Because a lot of people could say like,

Oh, yeah, me, a very hot man has never hooked up with my super hot best friend at any point in time in our lives. It's like a lot of people would be skeptical of that, but you aren't. Yeah, and they haven't done anything to make you suspicious or upset. Like there's not even a every now and then he'll do this No, you said they don't do anything. She hasn't done anything on top of that They've had all the time in the world to do it and on top of that. He's chosen you right? That's a thing. I think you really need to think about is like he has chosen you. Why do you discount that? Do you not trust him?

Do you not value his decisions because like if that's where you're at, this relationship needs to end immediately. And that's, I think the weirdest thing for me from both this question is that there's none of that on her part, right? She's saying like, oh, it's green flags. He's great. I trust him. Ba-ba-ba-ba-da-da-da.

And like, she's listing all these things. And so like, sure, I don't think you are in any way worse off. I think anyone would feel this way right I think anyone would would let this creep in at some point in time and be like hmm I don't think anyone could could go through a relationship with someone who is this hot of a best friend and not think about it once or twice right I think it is a for sure thing that will cross everyone's mind. I think you are lying to me.

If you're saying that if you were in this situation, you would never think about it. Not to the extent that she is. I'm just saying, at some point in time, you would probably be like... I don't generally care about people's friends whether they've hooked up or not. Because it's like, to me, the only issue would be like, if they're acting weird, it wouldn't be that they're hot. Because this is basically what it's based on is oh, she's hot.

That's kind of it, right? It's not like oh, they act weird, they do whatever. They're just like oh, they're hot. And I feel like that's not enough to base it on because everyone I've dated has hot friends. I think it's more, it seems like it's the like 20 years of friendship, it's the like bond that they have as well, right? I think the hot thing I think is probably

Stoking the flames of insecurity I also think if I thought somebody was the kind of person to have a two decade long Flame for someone to not act on it. I don't think I'd be attracted to that type of person So I don't think that would be an issue. Because to me, that's not a good trait that's just like kinda shit or get off the pot. Anyway, this is all hypothetical. So it doesn't, either way, I think your point is, sure, you can feel that way, much like jealousy,

you know what I mean? Irrational, whatever, the point being, you need to fucking deal with it, and you have not done that. And I think step one, stop watching rom-coms girl stop watching them there they are or realize that they're fucking movies yeah if she hasn't done that so far you need to stop and you need to maybe watch actual endgame maybe that'll you know yeah just get really into Marvel yeah yeah stop doing that and then you really need to be like can I or

can't I get over this? If you cannot, break up right now. If you can, you need to start that journey. And usually I recommend people talking about their insecurities with their partners. This is a scenario where I don't think that would help because I don't think he could do anything differently. No, it might help to bring it up, just like not in a, hey, you've done this, just in a, hey, I'm feeling this irrationally, right? Yeah, I think it would be more beneficial

to talk to a therapist about this first, and then take what you've learned there and apply it to a conversation with a partner, because usually it's like, I think it's good to bring up insecurities with your partner because they will know what sort of behaviors to watch out for and change and whatever, but you've clearly said that they respect all the boundaries and there isn't anything that like kind of irks you or anything. So it's like all you, all I think you would do by having a conversation at this point in time without more insight and analysis is putting strain on his friendship with her and like making him kind of walk on eggshells.

Yeah. And I also worry that like if this is you know a thing he's probably had to deal with this before and it's probably really fucking annoying. deal with this before and it's probably really fucking annoying. And also it's probably really annoying to take a picture of your friend and have people be like, end game. Oh my God. Love it. Couple goal. Like that would piss me off pretty quickly if it wasn't a thing. You know what I mean? So I don't know. Maybe if there's a way to bring it up, it might be good for you to be like, Hey, I see people do this like all the time. Like, how do you feel about that? And if he's like, Oh, it's so fucking annoying. That's maybe gonna make you feel better Yeah, I do think it's gonna be hard to maybe bring it up if your only avenue is so I was looking at these pictures Two and a half years ago and I you know that that might be a little weird

But you know if there is someone who does it while you're together or whatever if there is a time where where it's normal for you To bring it up. Maybe just ask him how he feels about it because I bet he's real fucking annoyed about it yeah, and I imagine you've already had some sort of conversation because of Like the idea of being like I'm sure you've asked Hey, like why haven't you guys hooked up before like why didn't you pursue anything? Because he's he has said like well I think of more very like a sister and like yeah look am I gonna stand here and and believe a dude who says that he probably never had feelings for her or at the very least, like thought she was

hot or, and like, you know, during your hormonal phase? It's like, I had a lady best friend that I was, that I've known literally since kindergarten as well. And those teenage years, the hormones got the better of us. We never, we never dated. But you know, there was, there was sparks, there was heat. So I understand like that, that sort of situation. But now it's, it's not, I mean, like, I don't know how else to describe it. And it is very much like a, you know, I love that person deeply, but with no heat. Yeah, for sure. You can like think someone's hot or be attracted to them or have considered it. And then also have that not be a thing that, you know, continues. Like it is very strange to me that like I that like I can find someone attractive

and have zero inkling to pursue it. And it's weird to me that like people don't the other people don't seem to have that. And like, or understand that. Yeah. Well, like even there's this fucking new Netflix dating show. And at one point they're like, Hey guys, like, do you think men and women could be friends? And like almost all of them are like, no, I'm like, your lives must suck. I'm sorry. That's the most grim thing I've ever heard. Because like, you're just people don't matter to you they're not people they're just receptacles for fucking I guess like no

yeah it's like a lot of my female friends are very attractive and I I wouldn't date or pursue almost like the majority of them yeah yeah it's just so sad I don't know what you're gonna do with your life if you're gonna cut off like a large part of the world from being in it In any way that's non-sexual like you're just sad. So it's as I said, yes It's brain rot you have convinced yourself of this this situation and I like the the solution I think here the solution is to combat brain rot with brain rot You're going to shift your focus from rom-com

to monster fucking, right? You're gonna start reading about sexy werewolves and brooding fairies and deep dark ant creatures that are gonna ravage you in the forests. And then when you see this girl, you'll be like, ah, she doesn't even have tentacles or fangs. He's not gonna be into her. See, I was gonna go the other way

and double down on the rom-com brain rot. No. But get so obsessed with main character energy that assume that everyone else are NPCs or are side characters in your story. Think of it this way, if it was a rom-com, you would be the like, oh, she's so pretty. I'm just a normal girl.

That's the main character, which means you're gonna get the guy. You're fine. Yeah. Right, yes, of course she's secretly super hot. Wait, have you taken your hair down? Are you wearing overalls? You literally have to legally tell us

if you're wearing overalls and glasses and a ponytail. Yeah, yeah, have you done a fashion show yet? Maybe with this best friend? You need to have a try-on montage set to Chumbawumba's tub thumping and go to a store and be like, hey, I need your help to pick out an outfit. And then for whatever reason,

you need to come downstairs to kiss me. To fight the mood light. Okay, I will also accept kiss me Um, and that's it. I that's our advice. Yeah, you're good I regret telling you at the beginning that you're not going to follow our advice Because I think what we just said there is very was not only the best advice but very actionable Yes, and let me tell you it saved you from getting dragged out into the woods and beaten to death with a microphone stand. Yeah, which is good. Yeah. I don't know if legally I need to say that I'm not going to do this.

I'm not going to do it now, Mike. I ain't saying nothing. Have you ever met someone on a dating app? Used a sex toy? Perused online porn? If so, then your life has been touched by sex tech. And if you've been looking for an opportunity to dive deeper into this world, SexTechTO wants to invite you to Toronto's first SexTech conference. On Saturday, June 7th, this one-day-only in-person event will culminate in a networking experience that brings Toronto's veteran, emerging, and industry-curious folks together to to jumpstart the region's sex

positive community. This will be a unique opportunity for folks working or interested in the sex tech industry to connect with each other to do important work and make cool stuff happen. Tickets are live on a sliding scale. Visit Visit sextechto.com for more info and we hope to see you there. This is from Appropriate Pick and a bunch of numbers. My husband can't stand when I'm slutty and I'm and it's starting to become An issue for me. I made a post yesterday about rubbing lotion onto my body as I lay on a kitchen island naked b-o-d-a-y B-o-d-a-y. Oh, yeah As I lay on the kitchen island naked waiting for my husband to come home. He passed me by and nothing happened

Well, we got into a fight about it last night now, I'm also not sure let's get through the question that will He told me being a whore and a slut is inappropriate and then I need to act like a lady Excuse me. I used to be able to be semi-sledding with him, a fair enough amount for me, but now I'm just his wife, and I'm a mother. He views me so different, he will hardly touch me. I have definitely had to tame myself for him, and I can't do it anymore. Does anyone have any advice on the situation? Is it normal for a man to view a woman differently in bed after a baby?

I'm in good shape, I'm not concerned about that, but it seems to be a deep-rooted issue. All I want to be is desired by my partner and come and return the favor a hundred times over, but he won't allow it." Just the image of her on the kitchen, like, island, oiled up, and him just walking by after we're like, hey, what's up, is very funny to me. Yeah, it's the equivalent of getting a thumbs back thumbs up But back to your nude Did she say she made a post about it see I'm not sure if she means like she wrote another question in regards to this situation, and this is a second

Okay, because that's a Instagram or Facebook post about it? Because that's the thing. It's like if if I was like on Instagram and my wife was like, here's me naked, living up the, you know, just loathing herself up on the kitchen island. Yeah. Yeah. And that to me would fall under the category of like, you know,

slutty. And I could understand a little bit more of him being annoyed in this question, but that doesn't seem to be it because like, because just being a little naughty with your husband, I don't think is slutty, so it's just a weird terminology, you know what I mean? To me. Yeah, I guess she means sexual, like sexy. Yes, yes.

We also don't like to talk about slutty, because it's a stupid fucking sex-shamy thing, but anyway. I think using it in your own term is fine. I think if you want to be like, I'm slutty. I think that's fine. And I think that's more or less what she's doing here. The idea that like walking in and just being like, hello, wife.

And like, look, I think I'm old, guys, because the first thing I thought of when I when this was described was like, that must be a mess. That must be a fucking mess, right? The kitchen counter not like that's bad. There's like dangerous. It's so slippery. Because past like him leaving, which is funny. Can you imagine how difficult it was for her to extricate herself from this without absolutely dying?

I'm sure there are tiles. The counter itself is slippy. She's slippy. Like, how did she get down? How did she leave my also like I what would you have done? The the the whole setting also. And maybe it's just because I'm thinking about my apartment and how sort of small my kitchen island is. And like, I don't think that that is conducive to sexy. If you send me like a sexy photo of you kind of like lotioning yourself just

out of a bath, okay, or in the bed. Fine, but in the kitchen? I don't want lotion all over where I prep food. Yeah, also like did you thoroughly clean the kitchen or is that kind of gross too? And like let's be fair, surprising someone with a sexy moment is all well and good, but like what if they had a bad day at work? What if they weren't expecting it? What if they were disgusting and filthy and like sweaty or whatever? Like we've talked about this before where there's a fine line between like surprising someone in a good way and just totally misreading things. You know what I mean? It's always best to give

like a little heads up in a way. Build the tension. Also this man fumbled. Like sure look you need to you need to acknowledge and appreciate the effort. There are other issues. There are other issues at play here, but I am saying that maybe this is part of them. Maybe like there's no consideration for him. It's all on like her timeline because a man of course can't ever not be sexual. She loathing herself up on the kitchen counter. What's wrong with him?

There could be other things going on here. They're clearly are. Right? So, so maybe this is indicative of a bigger issue. You know what I mean? Obviously it is because other things are at play here. But like lotioning yourself up on the kitchen counter is a pretty extreme move.

Like what's happening? It's between zero and there. Also, and maybe this is just me. It's just not that sexy. I don't find it that like slutty. Right. Like I don't think lotioning yourself up and lying on unconventional spaces. It's is is that sort of like risque or sexy? Yeah. I think sort of like.

And also, as now said, like, there's no preheating the oven here. You have to just walk into a fire. Yeah. Yeah. I'd like the act of the lotioning is almost hotter than the being lotioned. Yeah, I want to lotion you. Let me lotion. Yeah.

Also like, I don't know, man. What if he is oblivious man, as many of us are, and thinks this is like a TikTok trend and he was like, oh, she's in, she's doing her beauty stuff. Better not ruin that by trying to jizz on her. You know what I mean? Like what if that's where he's at? Yeah. I couldn't possibly want to squeeze my entire boner out into her.

Exactly. Exactly. He's like, oh, I better not disturb her. She's doing the TikTok trend. Okay. We've, I think we're way more on this side of this dude I'm just also confused by how everything went down. Guess what guys? You need to communicate. Have you talked to him? Have you said, hey, why are we not having sex? I want to have sex. You don't seem to want to have sex. What is the issue? Because that's step one. And if the issue is, if he is saying like, well, you're a mother now, so you are not sexually desirable to me because you are now a mother and even when you you're my wife now

There's no there's no like I don't need to do this anymore I think that is a pretty big indication that you are in trouble and I think you need to express be like hey I may be a mother but that doesn't change the fact that I am a person who has sexual desires and needs Needs those needs satisfied and if you're not willing to do that Then we're gonna have a problem because this is yeah a big part of my identity and who what I am and my my wants my needs And desires also it's kind of fucked up that you're reducing me as a person to just this tag as in wife mother Whatever and like acting accordingly based on your own shit. Like, fuck you.

So I think if that is the case, you need either very dramatic marriage counseling instantly or to divorce. Yeah, you need to put yourself first, and I don't think there is a detriment to that. And it's like, I know, you have kids, you have marriage, you have stuff, and it's like, I understand that, but like, you're not going to be the first person to raise a children with, you know, it's, it's not going to be an unheard

of situation in which no child has ever had their parents divorced before. Yeah. In fact, most, I think these days, and the thing is it sucks and it's very hard. And I know it's very easy for us to sit here and say it but think of how miserable you are now and if it gets to the point where he is willing to be like yes you are mother you are wife you don't deserve or get sexual satisfaction from me and he's unwilling to work on it how miserable is your life going to be going forward without taking some kind of drastic action and like like what effect is that going to have on your child? Right? Like that's that's kind of the need, right? Like you there's a ripple down effect. Do you think raising a child in a loveless, hostile home with two parents is better than raising it with two separate parents? Like, you know, two divorced parents, I don't think one of whom hopefully

can now find their own happiness. And also, look, I'm not going so. One of whom hopefully can now find their own happiness. And also look, I'm not going to say it's going to happen, but if, in my opinion, typically when men have these views of, you are no longer a sexual creature, this guy isn't giving up sex if he enjoyed it prior, right? Like, if he was always a low libido dude and only seemed to be like, sex is just for kid making, then like okay Whatever you you made a bad call there because you knew you're getting into

But if it was if he was cool with all this and like like having sex with you and like fucking you and the sex Was good and then all of a sudden is like no, I don't want you anymore Chances are he's gonna go looking for not mother and not wife a hundred percent This guy has shitty views to do with you Oh, I guess he must have good views to do with loyalty And you know now he fucking he's off cheating on you for sure like if this is where his views are at so You know sometimes you got to make the hard calls But I think you really need to sit down and talk to him and make sure other things aren't at play like maybe he's tired

After raising kids, I don't know. Like you need to fucking talk. Maybe this guy isn't as bad. Maybe he's worse. Either way, fucking communicate. Don't just lube yourself up and maybe make a post about it. You can't just fucking slather yourself in lotion and think that's where the kids were. The kids. That's what I want to know, because,. Where were the kids? Where were the kids? That's what I wanna know.

Cause like, if the kids are being minded, surely you guys had plans, right? Like, I don't think you're like, let's give the kids away and do nothing. So it's like, if you had plans, was this the plan? Or was this in, like, maybe he wanted to go catch the latest Marvel movie, and you were like, lubed up on the counter, and he's like, god damn it.

Or maybe the kids were just in the dining room and that's even worse Being like why so much so slippery on all the counters someone had to throw the oil over when she got her no this is Confusing to me communicate yeah, please full of God We're just about done, but I thought that I Really liked doing our PSA. Oh yeah, I was thinking we'd do one today as well. Do you have an idea of what you'd like to do? What you think would be beneficial? We're starting this. We could start broad and start like narrow casting in.

I was thinking we do one about watching rom-coms. Okay, what do you think? Just being like your life isn't a rom-com? They're not real life. Yeah, not real life. Okay Let's let's do that. Hi, my name is Dane Miller from fuck buddies And I'm now Spain also from fuck buddies and we're here with a really important announcement for you today Romcoms aren't real life and they're missing your romance and love life on them is gonna lead to heartbreak So don't do it put Put down the wrong columns. Watch the Avengers.

Yeah, guys, if you have any PSAs, send them in. We'll make them. They're kind of fun. We're happy to make them as specific as you want. So if you want a clip that is specifically like an issue that you're dealing with in your relationship or your friendships or whatever, you hit us up and let us know.

We'll keep them vague enough that your partner or friends won't know We won't say a name Yeah, but you could then send it to that person send it to a group chat be like totally 100% Or share on your story kind of passively aggressively get some information to your friends Yes, and or loved ones and or hated ones Exactly use us as your scalpel in the weapon of no. What are my words?

Thanks, guys. It's been a lot of fun. We love you. If you love us in turn, please consider joining our Patreon and supporting us that way. Consider telling a friend, rating and reviewing us, sharing us, liking our videos, you know, the whole the whole shebang. Every little helps. And the more we can get support, the more we can do this and without going crazy. Thank you Josh Eagle and the Harvest Cities for their song People's Stars. And the more people we can help. And the more passive aggressive PSA's we can make. Ready for some bad sex writing? Yeah, I suppose. This is Grey Matters by Willem Hjortsberg. Vera unbuttons her cotton dress and steps lightly out of her entangling underclothes.

The wind caresses her burgeoning body and makes her nipples pucker. She runs her hand down across her tummy and the fuzz of maiden floss, cupping her sex, which hungers like the mouth of a raging vacuum cleaner. She wishes she could hose up the entire world. Beach, sea, sky, and stars. She would be like that storybook Chinaman who swallowed the ocean, filled to the bursting point

with all the unbearable beauty of a summer morning. I don't think, now, puckering is a tightness and a more of an inwards. Almost like an inwards. Inwards. Maybe she had innies. Maybe she did a classic in these man I love what we talk about that when you like you talk about your belly button you're like is it any Audi and then you're the next logical question is what about your nipples though about

them nips yeah I I like just there's nothing more sexual than a raging vacuum cleaner look we all wanted to stick our dick in it when we were younger I know but it would have been terrible. It would have been But doesn't make it any less enticing. My name is Dave Miller and I'm now Spain. We've been your fuck buddies you