F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 347 - Exorcist Eye Contact

Episode Date: June 9, 2025

I swear the splatter of suspicious liquids all over my walls, floors and ceilings are just from my cat's medicine!  Topics include the sweetest dirty talk, deepthroat inadequacies, disclosing your circumcision status, mandatory eye contact.   Join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

I put my trust in you and I'm trusting out love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love I put my trust in you and I'm trusting out love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love Hello, friends. My name is Day Miller. And I'm Niles Payne and we are your fuck buddies. We're sex and dating advice podcast where we take your sticky sexy situations and turn them into sexy sticky situations.

Simply put, we find questions either online or from our sneaky dirty little listeners like you and we answer them right here right now on the topics of sex and dating. I realized I think I'm all right, but I didn't check my shirt for a cat medicine. Everything I own has been covered in the potassium supplement that I now have to give my elderly cat twice a day. Uh, I've taken to these days. I now just strip pretty much down to my underwear to bundle my cat and hold them. Cause like, it just gets everywhere

Yeah, it's weird though that you do oil oil yourself up while you're doing it because that doesn't help it also doesn't hurt But some might say it will My cat just get launched I'm really sad that you clarified because I think it would have just been very funny to leave it as weird I'm not covered in cat medicine to move on because to anyone apart from me and your partner listening would have been insane. It would be a crazy thing to say, but I was, uh, we went out to go, ironically, not ironically at all,

but we went to go pick up more medicine from the vet today. And I had to put on like three shirts to be like, nope, this is covered in it too. Nope, this is covered. If anyone walked into our room, they would think we are disgusting degenerates because there is splatter everywhere. Mirror walls and look, it's, it's terrible. This is our cat episode.

Yeah. This is my, my preface for I am a nasty dirty splatter freak And this is I'm laying the ground you know the frowns like trickle truth. Yeah Yeah, so that if anyone is like oh, I went to Danes apartment. There's just everywhere I'm like no jizz if you listen to this episode of my podcast that I released several weeks ago I mentioned that it's from my cat. Yeah, he specifically said it's definitely not yellow jizz. Yeah. What are we gonna talk about this week, Dane?

Cat jizz. This week we are going to talk about my fiance, 32 year old male, says the most heart wrenchingly sweet things during sex and I, 28 year old female, don't know how to handle it. My deep throating inadequacies make me cry. Should men disclose whether or not they're circumcised on dating apps?

I closed my eyes when I came, and that was wrong. This is by Throware Canelardi. Fiance says most heart-wrenchingly sweet things during sex, and I don't know how to handle it. I have a strange problem. I'm hoping someone can help me. I am engaged to the best man I've ever known. He's something special and I treasure him dearly. This is a ridiculous issue, but here we go. I've never

in my life had someone say the things he does to me during sex, but it throws me off my game or almost makes me want to get choked up. Sex is already emotional between us, but it stops me in my tracks and makes my brain just shut off when he borderline worships me verbally. When we first started dating, I think he was kind of shocked but into my dirty talk. He blames it on my muddy reading, lol. But I can tell it threw him off. But he's more used to it than just into it now. He even picked up a bit on himself, which is super cool.

The main problem is he's gotten way more verbal with just nice things as well, like, God, your body is so perfect. Can't even look at you or I'm going to bust immediately. Or you're the most beautiful thing I've ever gotten to witness, or you're so perfect. It's like God made every inch of you just for me. I've never wanted to be with anyone as much as I want you. The other day I told him I love his you know so much, and he pulled me up against him and said,

I love you so much. But he really means it? It just affects me differently in the moment, but I don't know how to react. It's throwing me off my game, it makes me wanna tear up at times. I don't wanna get too much more descriptive's throwing me off my game. It makes me want to tear up at times. I don't get too much more descriptive. I feel like this is already pushing it

in what I should be posting online. Do I talk to him about it? I don't want him to stop, but I'm having a really hard time with not just wanting to sniffle and hold him when he says stuff like that. It's like my heart swells up and my brain shuts down. I feel like I'm failing him by not being able to meet him at his level, to respond back so kindly to him.

He deserves that feeling too. I just struggle so hard to come up with anything that isn't dirty or makes me feel cheesy. I don't have a problem expressing these feelings outside the bedroom, it's just different in that moment. Anyone else overcame this emotional reaction during intimacy? I can't believe I'm writing this down, TBH.

First world problems. I love that you acknowledge that this is a unique problem that isn't really a problem, right? I think a lot of people could be shitty about this and being like, he's not being a man enough, like he's not doing this, he's being too sweet, he's being too nice, he's being too emotional. So I do appreciate that she's like, I like it and it is very nice and it is very sweet.

However, in the circumstances of which they're being said, they kind of like gum up my... It's not their vibe or like it's taking me out of it? Yeah, there's no like, oh, I wish he'd just be sexy like the dark fairies from my books. Yeah. Now, I will say the things that he is saying during sex, the examples of like the things he's saying during sex seem to be sexually related, right? Like him saying like, you're so hot, like just seeing you was gonna make me cum. Like that would- He said bust.

I think that would be weird if he said that not during sex, right? Like I think that is kind of a direct- Good morning. Good morning, baby. Fuck, I'm gonna bust immediately. Ugh! Or like, you're at the bus stop. Yeah, that one for sure. But I do love the like, I love your cock.

And him being like, I love you. Dude, come on, read the room. Unless that was like, again, an attempt to be sexy in the sense of like I love all like I Though the amount you want my dick is the amount I want you And then but then you're like no I also want you babe. It's not just your dick Wow I'm saying we didn't make me feel bad. You know the man Yeah, it's like you're like I'll have a good night And so we goes have a good week, and you're like fuck have a good month

I have a good now I'm like the day seventh a good week. And you're like, fuck, have a good month. Have a good day. I'm like one seventh of as nice as you are. And you just shamed me. But then you say next time, hey, have a good life. And it sounds really mean. And then they're like, whoa, Nile, what the fuck? Yeah. Why would you say that? I'm not listening to your podcast anymore because that was rude.

It was aggressive. I don't know how to fix this in the sense of if you bring this up to him You're gonna take the magic right leave what he's saying right now There is a there's a visceral reason in which he's saying this to you and if you bring it up to him He's gonna always overthink it and the the the magic I think what you really need to do is determine is this a deal-? Like is this throwing you off your game so much that sex is no longer enjoyable or it's interrupting your orgasm flow or like whatever, right?

Like if it's really impacting your sexual pleasure and the sexual experience you have with him, then bring it up. If you are just like, damn, that's actually really nice and that's taking you aback, I promise you, you're gonna level out eventually, because it sounds like you haven't had this before. So eventually this this extreme of niceness is going to level out to your normal.

And I think there's maybe wait to see if that happens. I want to know why, like, because you say, oh, like, I just kind of want to, like, tear up and, like, hold him him and like, you know, be into it. Could you not try that? You know what I mean? Like, would that ruin things for you? Or do you just feel like it's inappropriate for you? Because if it's something you want to do, and it's clearly something he seems to be kind of angling for, like, could you not just kind of succumb to this more emotional

experience every now and then? Like, because you don't give me a reason why you don't, you just say you like, try not to. Yeah. Like, why not meet him on the playing field and play in that space with him? And if he gets that intense with you or that nice with you, maybe hand on his face, bring him in close and reciprocate. Tell him something.

Even if it is something along the lines of you saying that to me makes me feel so fucking wanted or something. Right? Like whatever you're feeling, I don't want to give you words, I don't want to give you a script, but like whatever it is that you're, that's you know bubbling up inside of you because of it. Like yeah, I think it's a great idea of like sort of meeting him in that space and whether it's just like a nice like deep eye contact of like moment of like connection of of respect and admiration. I think that sounds lovely. Yeah. And the thing is you say you're either making it too sexual or too cheesy and it's like let's be fair stuff. He's saying cheesy as fuck. Yeah. I think it's God made your

body perfectly for me. Like anyone saying like there's a fine line, but you know that line or the meme where it's like the one guy says it to someone in work and they're like, and then the gross person says it and it's like, hello, HR. That's like someone telling you this could really vary. And it's just because he's your your guy and he's hot and he's means it that it works. So it's like anything you say that's cheesy. I'm sure he'll fucking love love right? It's like he can put himself out there and what he's saying is is cheesy So you're good, you know, I mean again if that's what you want to do So it's like it feels like you're almost hung up on things that don't matter. You know, I mean, it's like

Oh, I don't want to like tear up and just hold him and say why not? He's obviously not gonna mind or I don't want to seem cheesy or too sexual It's like well, you're already being sexual if you're throwing dirty talk out and he's being cheesy. So it's like, I don't think he's going to judge you. You know what I mean? I think so. It's the only danger there. I think you have to match energy, right?

Like I think if he says something very sweet to you and then you're just like, come on my face, it's like I think there's like a whiplash. But yeah, I think I think you're right. Right. Like he's probably used to this already because she's like there. It's like a fuckingiplash. But yeah, I think I think that right, right? Like, he's probably used to this already because she's like there, it's like a fucking romcom. He's Mr. Sincere Heartfelt and she's dirty talk smut girl, right? But he's learned to love and even participate in dirty talk. And she still has her walls up about, you know, letting her guard down, her emotions. Yeah, I think you nailed it. I think,

I think the idea of like reciprocating in kind, however that works for you, whatever that looks like, if that is just a sincere thank you or that's really nice to hear or something along the lines of that. A non-verbal tearing up and holding him tight, like you said you want to do or it makes you want to do that.

And it's like, what's wrong with that? You know what I mean? There's a very good chance that that's gonna elevate the sexual pleasure as well. Because right now it sounds like you're putting a block up and that's going to affect a lot of things. You're in your head, you're focusing on, which means you're not focusing on your pleasure

or his pleasure. So I think kind of letting go of that barrier. And I understand that's scary and that's hard. I think maybe giving it a go like you might find yourself like Really getting rocked at that point time like really like leaning into it and getting it like yeah I think I'm just yeah, sometimes things are scary and hard lead to a lot of pleasure Talk about dicks Yeah, there's nothing scarier than penises

Yeah, there's nothing scarier than penises Especially angry swole like frowny face. Yeah, yeah It's really the difference between an angry penis and a like fully turned on penises is thin line Yeah, a stern hat stern hat dude like like a 19 or like an 1860s like copper hat Yeah, what are those what are those those, the Bobbies, the big. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Even the chef's hat, but that could be like angry in a hot way. Yeah, or angry in an abusive way.

Exactly, exactly. Yeah, you don't really know what you're gonna get there. No, no, chefs can go one way or another. You wanna hit me with the next question? But it's always angry. It's always, yeah yeah 100%. This is from lovekitty66. My partner, male 30, has quite a large member and giving him oral all the way to the tonsils can be difficult. There were a few occasions

where I thought I was successful and when we were in the middle of it the other day I said that I thought I got it in, nose running, eyes watering kind of deep and he threw his head back and laughed from the inside of his soul and said, when I got up humiliated, I went to the bathroom, try to stop myself from crying. We had a fight after about it. And I tried to tell him that I was hurt and felt ridiculed. He doesn't understand how that hurts me even after I explained it.

I don't like this relationship. I don't. I don't like this relationship. I don't. This seems bad. Here's the thing. I think there's I would love to know your age. I'd like to know her age. Because we don't know that.

Yeah, hopefully. Nearish. If he's 30. Because this read's young. This read's like 16 year old, which I'm hoping. I hope, I hope. I'm hoping it's not. But like it reads like, there's two things

that strike me here. And I'm going to side with the dude for this part of the question. Okay. In the sense of, if someone was, you know, let's say I have a giant dick and someone thought that they deep-throated me and got like two inches down And and they were like I did it

I don't know if I wouldn't be able to be like well, you know, I mean like I think there's an knee-jerk reaction to someone being like I did the thing and really Okay, like so I don't know. Sure. I also just don't know what they mean by I thought I did it. Like you were there. Yeah. How do you not know? Like what is the question mark? Did you was it like, oh, I think I got the whole dick because look down.

You'll figure it out. Yeah. You got hands. That's what I mean. Right. Like it seems strange. Dark. We're not allowed to use your hands. I don't know. That's what I mean, right? Like it seems strange. Was it in the dark? Were you blindfolded? Were you blindfolded?

I don't know. Because in that case, it's confusing. But it's like, otherwise, surely you have a pretty good idea of what you've done. So I don't understand where the confusion is, because they, one, don't seem to know, and two, have obviously made a claim that their partner disagrees with. So it's like, I just don't get it.

I do think that laughing in someone's face when they're talking about sex stuff that they're clearly insecure about is not a great move. But the fact that she's like, he laughed from the inside of his soul does kind of ring a little, I'm super insecure and I'm really, really delving into how devastating this was. And I think maybe I'm reading it through that lens now because it does feel pretty young but again people could be 26 and fucking inexperienced and act like this right? It just to me there's an air of over exaggeration and like sex should in my opinion be silly and there should be laughter and there should be like so like this could have been a playful

thing for him and not a like- It be shitty. You know what I mean? It could be like mocking her and weaponizing the fact that she can't do this thing. Yes, do it more or whatever. Like it's not like men don't and haven't done that. Right. So yeah, it's hard to tell. But like Mike here's obviously on my issues. One, I don't understand why you don't know or what you don't know. You know what I mean? The fact that you're unsure as to what happened is very confusing to me. And I think you need to figure out what it is you're trying to figure out and why you can't figure out whether or not you've done that. Two, you don't need to deep throat to give somebody good head.

We talked about this. If your partner just weirdly wants you to deep throat them, you don't have to, even if you don't want to, and you definitely don't have to if you physically can't. Three, people shouldn't just laugh at you if you're trying to bring something up, but you should have the wherewithal to know if you're super insecure about something that maybe their reaction wasn't as mean as it came across. Again, it could have been, it could not have been, I don't know, but I do know when you're insecure about something, which you clearly are, you can take things the wrong way.

And this could have happened here because I like to hope that your partner isn't that much of a dick bag that they would do that. But if they do, you should be able to communicate about it. And if you can't communicate about it, which it seems like you can't because your two interactions were confusion or the three interactions were confusing, then being laughed at so hard you cried and then a fight. So all three of those are bad. And it's like if you can't communicate to your partner,

then it doesn't matter whether or not you can deep throat them, you shouldn't be dating them. And that's kind of like where I swish on the dude, right? Where the final bit of being like, I tried to talk to him and tried to let him know that I felt ridiculed. Whether you were ridiculed or not doesn't matter, right? Like once a partner comes to you and says like,

hey, here's a situation, what you did made me feel this way. And hope like, again, I'm hoping you use that terms because like if you come in hot and heavy and you're like, hey, you pointed and laughed at me with your whole soul and you know what I mean? Like then like I understand that there's gonna be a pushback of being like, I didn't do that.

You said a thing that didn't make any sense because as like Niall said, if you're confused, whether you deep throw it at someone or not, then that, that I can understand being like, if someone said it to me, I'd be like, what do you mean? Like, I don't understand. Like, but also if you're saying your eyes are running and your nose was running and you were like, looking up at them while doing this, it sounds like you either did it incredibly wrong or you did do it. So you know what I mean? I just, I just don't understand the confusion here, but it seems like a bad relationship.

Yeah. Like as now said, like I would also like to know it was like, who is pushing for this deep throw? Yeah. Cause it doesn't say that he's, it doesn't say like he wants it or he requires it. You're just saying that he's got a big dick and deep throating is hard. And if that's it, if it's just then like as Nell said. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't hurt yourself. If you can't physically accomplish something, don't do it.

You don't have to. And if someone is forcing you, then that's a bad relationship. No one should be forcing you to do a sexual act that hurts you, that makes you feel uncomfortable But you can't physically do yeah, so I think you need to take a breath I think you need to try to step away from these insecurities because they're very clearly there I think you need to try to fight for better communication in your relationship

That could be their fault could be your fault could be both your faults But clearly the issue is there and like just try to like have productive conversations, not crying and laughing at each other and fighting. And also just like send a question into your favorite sex and dating advice podcast if you're confused about deep throating and the process of it. Read some articles. You know what I mean? Like I don't understand where that confusion is coming from.

But again, it doesn't sound like this is a good relationship, so fix it or get out. And again, you don't have to deep throw it ever. No. Should men disclose whether they're circumcised on dating apps? This is by Mitza Mizentrop. I was scrolling online and I saw someone say,

man should disclose their circumcision status. A bold statement that hit me profoundly, because of how it seemed like rage bait, but I considered some things. I, a male, 19, must state that I am uncircumcised so you can understand my perspective. Firstly, would be religious beliefs. I've been attracted to a few different Jewish women and I know if they went with a guy and built a whole relationship with them just to find out they're breaking apart of their religion, it would hurt them. So I understand why religious people would want to know ahead of hand. Secondly, it looks not every woman cares about

what it looks like, but some do. And the point of dating is people being selective on what you're most attracted to. So that's what they like, it's their choice. Lastly, for the people who are uncut, it might save from heartbreak, because instead of going on a lot of dates and growing together just to get dumped because of it,

you could save yourself the heartbreak, because they would have already skipped you, and you could find the ones who don't care about your status instead. Some sites make you put in your height, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, religion. That substance use is options for you to sort through. So while I feel like it wouldn't be a violation

to add this as an option, if a circumcision status were to become a trend could lead to discrimination against uncircumcised people and further misinformation about how it functions and its purpose. Do you think this option could potentially help people and if not, how would you approve on it? I wouldn't because I think if people are making judgment calls based on shape and quality of genitalia, I think we're already in a bad place. For sure. Also like I know a lot of Jewish women and they don't care if their partner's uncircumcised if they're not Jewish.

Or, also, if they are. Like, I don't know that it matters to anybody else in that relationship, because I've never heard anyone say that. Well, I do know that, like, depending on how into the religion you are, it's like you can't marry someone who's not Jewish. So, there is usually a conversion. And I'll be the first to admit, I don't know if in order to convert to Judaism, you have to be circumcised. I don't know if they go hand in hand. So I'm not sure. But I do know that a lot of my friends who have met Jewish partners have had to convert to Judaism in order to get married within the church and all the proper rites and rituals for of it. Um, so I don't know, like, I guess there's the hat. If that is a thing that needs to happen, even then it should just be a religion conversation, not a circumcision, because you could be circumcised and not be Jewish. And if the point is that you need to be Jewish, then that's still a conversation you need to have. You know what I mean? 100%. Yeah. Yeah.

It's, it's, if you just don't like me saying like, I'm not a big fan of of labia that that point out, you know, that are sort of less tucked in. I don't think dating apps should be like, what is your labia status? Yeah, for sure. How what is you know, what type of tits do you have? Like, you know, pick this shape, pick this whatever like now. Yeah, like it's a terrible idea. Like, all of these things are either people who are shitty and like bad, or things that should be talked about like religion or whatever that don't need to just be about circumcision or not, but will achieve the same end. So

if you're meeting someone who's very much in, you know, some kind of religion that requires things like this, it's not just that that will require and it'll come up prior and you'll be able to figure it out. And also look, I maybe this makes me sound like a bad person, but there are people who I've been attracted to. And then once we got naked, the attraction does wane a little bit because of personal preferences, because of, shape and stuff that don't really do it for me. And I don't think that's wrong. I think if you get someone naked and they don't do it for you, for whatever reason, as long as it's not a problematic reason, as long as it's not a...

I'm trying to think of the correct way to say this without sounding like an asshole, but not everyone is made for every body type. I'm trying to think of like the the correct way to say this without sounding like an asshole, but like Like not everyone is made for every body type. Not every right like everyone has a personal preference Everyone has things that they're attracted to like for example There are dudes who like will not like sleep with someone who doesn't have big boobs or like Find smaller boobs less attractive whereas I don't mind that right? Like I don't care about boobs yeah at all right so and sure and I think it's oh sorry I feel like maybe there's a point I'm just saying it's like I think that there's there's things that we're all attracted to and I think if if you you shouldn't have to disclose every minute detail of your body to someone to

figure out if you're attractive prior to getting to the stage and whether that happens. There are things you find out and it's like, yes, you could be unattracted to someone based on something I think you have to soul search to see whether you're being toxic and shitty if that's the case. But I also don't think, you know, if something isn't working for you, once you're not a piece of shit about it, because a lot of the time,

I don't think you ever have to tell the person why, and I think you probably shouldn't. If things aren't working out, you can just, whatever. Maybe examine that, try to become a better person if it is something problematic or whatever, but it's also weirder to be like, oh, I'm in this situation, and for some reason it's not working,

but now I have to pretend it is because, whatever. Yeah, but yes, whatever. Yeah. But yes, you're right. Like there's no, there's like already something so clinical about online dating and judging someone on a paragraph and a photo that like, we don't need to get more granular. And also circumcision status doesn't fucking matter

and it shouldn't to you. And if it does, maybe you need to examine your life choices. Yeah, I think as long as you're not being arbitrary about your values, again, like if, if you're like, I refuse to date anyone under six feet, I refuse to date anyone with a dick smaller than six inches. I refuse to, then it's like, I think you're like, that's bad. But like, if, if just something for whatever reason doesn't work for you, whatever, but I think if you come in with a guideline of being like uncircumcised,

no, hard no for no, any re like then I, whatever, you know, I think if you come in with a guideline of being like uncircumcised, no, hard no for no any re like then I got whatever. You know, I think you're I think you've got some priorities mixed up. 100%. This comes from double storage. Nope. Sorry, we did that last week. This comes from crazy faithlessness 65. Partner is mad I closed my eyes when I came. He wants me to stare into his. This is gonna be explicit. My partner and I have amazing sex. Let me tell you, it's not explicit.

My partner and I have amazing sex. However, sometimes I can't look him in these eyes when I slash we come. I do do it, just not all the time. He's pissed off that last night we had sex and he came and I didn't look him in his eyes. He came four times. The thing is, we really weren't on good terms. I couldn't look him in the eye because I didn't want to. I wanted sex, but I don't have to look him in the eyes. He's mad at me. He's freaking flipped out and almost destroyed furniture. Is it not my right to not

look him in the eyes? We're already on the verge of a breakup. Is it bad to not look him in his eyes? We were doing different positions, so it's not like my head can spin around and look at him. I don't know. Is this by better batch? It certainly feels like it. I hate all of this. All of this is so bad. Wilder as you read and not explicit.

I couldn't look at him. No, yeah, at all. Like the most like you could read that on like a children's TV show. They'd be a little confused. They'd be upset. No one would enjoy it. But you know what? I'm confused, upset, and I didn't enjoy it.

So yeah, I'm a child. Why not? Why not subject children to it? Yeah, like, let's break it down into. No, let's not. Let's go ham. What the fuck's happening here? We were fighting. I couldn't look him in the eyes go ham. What the fuck's happening here. We were fighting

I couldn't look him in the eyes. Okay, like do you not think if you were fighting and this happened? He was just choosing a reason to get annoyed at you. Even if it's stupid fucking reason. It sounds like a bad fucking relationship I hate it. It's all terrible Here's here's my favorite like like ABC sort of like reveal like peeling back the onion It's the like we we were having sex, when I came, I didn't look him in the eyes this time. It's like, okay, whatever, that's fine. Then it's like, we were fighting and not on good terms

and I didn't even wanna look at him. It's like, okay, that's bad. That's a bad start. Okay, great. And then it was like, we were in doggy style, so I couldn't even turn around to look him in the eyes. It's like, what the fuck is that? It's like, imagine like if I was fucking someone in doggy style and they were like,

I'm going to come. I wouldn't stop and flip him over so I could look him in the eyes. I also like the whole like you have to look me in the eyes every time. Like, I'm sorry. Stop every time each one of us comes. Yeah, when I'm coming, he came four times also. Sorry. Can we get back to that? Has this man unlocked the secrets of multiple orgasms like that one angry guy?

It's I mean, me about like, well, yeah, and that's it. He ruined her streak because she had to away. Combo breaker. If you don't want to not look in their eyes, don't do doggy style. Step one. Or as we've said for many other like questions, many other piece of advice that we've given out. And I'm actually surprised that this one has come up so much. It's basically the second most important advice we've given aside from communication, which is a series of mirrors, right? So you look at blah, blah, blah. Oh, you're

making eye contact. Even though you're staring dead dead ahead You're welcome the power of mirrors. How do they work? You're ignoring the fact that I don't want to look at him. She hates this guy. She fucking hates this dude If I get him if I was so annoyed at somebody that I didn't want to look at them one I wouldn't fuck him. I don't know, if I was so angry at someone that I couldn't look at them, I don't know if I could have sex. I think my body would be like, no, we don't want this. Yeah, for sure.

If I was horny, I'd just go have a wank. An angry one. Yeah, sure. Look at yourself in the... I can't look at my own dick. Ah! And then it's angry at me because I don't look at it when it comes.

This is so bad. So, yeah, break it down to brass tacks. No, you don't have to do anything. That's good. You don't have to do anything other than be nice. You know what I mean? But like, if someone's like, you have to look at my eye every time each one of us comes.

If you want to, that's fine, but you do not have to. And if this isn't your thing, maybe say, hey, no, I do not want to, that's fine. But you do not have to. And if this isn't your thing, maybe say, Hey, no, I do not want to do this. This actually sounds like a lot of logistical issues for what should be a fun time. So now, I mean, also the fact that like when you don't get what you want sexually, you lose your fucking mind and start trash almost like furniture. Yeah, no wonder you don't want to look at this guy. Yeah, like I'm sorry, my dude, but like it doesn't matter what it is. Like like any any sexual request.

If you're like, I didn't get it. I didn't get what I wanted from you during sex. And now I'm going to lose my goddamn mind. That's bad. Also really bad and really scary and scary. It's terrible. It's abusive You're a bad criminal boyfriend, and I hate you, but like did she look at him the first three times Yeah, was it the fact that you didn't look at him all four times or was it like you look at him? The one you missed yeah, I don't know look you cannot be this man's eye contact slave No, I mean like that's not life.

You cannot be required to do a thing like this in a relationship. And also this relationship sounds like garbage even aside from this dump. This dusty man. I feel like if anyone ever says we're on the verge of a breakup, you should break up, right? Like if you're teetering on on the edge and you don't have a great reason to keep fighting, that's it. You're done. Like the... Yeah, because it's like you wouldn't be like, oh, we're on the edge of a breakup

if things were getting better. You know what I mean? You wouldn't be like, oh, we were on the edge of a breakup. But like, you know what I mean? That's just never... It doesn't come up that way. You know what I mean? So if you said that things are bad, are they getting better?

Why would they be getting better? If you were trying to fix it, you would see a road ahead of you. Yeah. Right? Not a cliff. Yes. Like if I was putting in the work to save my relationship or to like fix my relationship, I wouldn't see a drop off in front of me.

I would see maybe a long, dangerous, arduous road ahead of me, sure. But I wouldn't be like, oh, this relationship is so fucked. And no matter how hard I try, there's a giant cliff right there waiting to take me into the end of the boat. And there's a waterfall ahead and you've stopped rowing versus like, you know, if you were like, oh, we were close to breaking up. Sure, maybe. But like we're close to a breakup.

Yeah, sounds like you should be past a breakup. Yeah, you should be breaking up. Yeah. So I don't know. This sounds so bad. But like you never have to do anything you don be past a breakup. Yeah, you should be breaking up. Yeah, so I don't know, this sounds so bad, but you never have to do anything you don't wanna do, so do not do that, and failing that, sears and mirrors. Yeah, or get possessed so you can spin your head around. True, that's actually a good one. Possession, depending on where you source your ghost,

can actually be a lot cheaper than so many mirrors. However, if you do both, sometimes the ghost can be trapped in the mirror or it can put your spirit in the mirror and then you'll actually be able to look back at them, but you won't be coming because you'll be a mirror spirit. Possession is in this day and age of the law, always cheaper than everything. Yeah. Yeah. It's really been a good time to be a ghost. Yeah. Slash spirit slash.

Someone was like, Hey, I'll take over your body. And because of my ghostly powers, you won't need to eat. I'd be like, fuck yeah. I don't spend $200 on seven items at the grocery store. Let's go. Amazing. It's just being severed. But with spirits. Yeah. Every time I get hungry, I just let let it go. Instead of going down the elevator like, it's you walk through like a fucking panter ground And you're like, I'm at work

Beelzebub. Yeah. Hell yeah This is by one day in summer my husband 29 male message my ex for nudes of me 29 year old female Is this fucked up? How messed up is this edit? I will say we have played around with jealousy kinks I just think it's crazy he took it this far. I broke up my emotionally abusive ex nine years ago. We've had no contact. My husband knows that. There is no trust issue.

I explained to my husband that my ex still had photos of his ex at the time when the ex and I were dating, a small issue of the emotionally abusive relationship ours in, so I could understand if he thought that my ex still had nudes of me. We joked about him asking my ex for pics, but I didn't think he'd actually do it He said he was feeling frisky and was a bad decision. He made out of horniness He's sorry, but genuinely doesn't understand why I'm flipping the fuck out. He's trying to see it from my perspective

But if roles were reversed, he said he wouldn't mind as much My ex messaged me letting me know what my husband said and that's inappropriate I feel so embarrassed that the ex has mistreated me. Has like the upper hand now? Husband and I are in committed loving relationship together for five years married for two and I'm four months pregnant. Why does this feel like such a huge violation? Here's the message she sent. Hey, how are you doing? And that was weird and completely random, but you used to date my wife. She told me you guys took some sexy videos and pictures. Do you happen to still have those? Just to clarify, my husband does already have intimate photos of me on

my phone that are between me and him. I would be the only saving grace here that this guy has is that there's a history of that. It was a very polite message. It was very polite. To whom it may concern. If someone messaged, I would consider it. Be like, you know what? This is very court. No, I would not. Um, they've played around. I've never met his wife.

Um, I've, you know, they've played around this like jealousy kink. They literally specifically talked about this instance. And I don't know where the joke was. Claire like clarified, right? Like, I don't know where the joke was like clarified, right? Like I don't know whether or not you specifically said, ha ha, just kidding. It would be terrible if you did this. So please don't do it. Whereas like, you know what I mean? Like I don't know how much of the safety you're taking into a kink. I don't know how much communication you're bringing into a kink. And I don't know when you, you brought this up, whether or not you were clear in your like, do not do this. This is a thing that we are joking about because of how stupid it is and how

much I do not want you to do it. I think that is very much the, the like the hinge that, that this whole question revolves around because like, what joking, how jokey like, did he think you were not jokey like did you think you were not jokey were you like I need to hear you joking because if you were like so obvious then this is just a huge problem on his behalf but if you were not so obviously joking then you know and how like how do how have you discussed the jealousy king of the past right like were you very coy about it then in the sense of like,

or when you had the talk about it, did you sit down and have a very frank and very honest and very level-headed conversation about your king? Say the boundaries, safe words. Here are the things that I'm interested in. Here are the things that I would like to do. What are you okay with? What are we okay with? Even though we're doing a jealousy thing,

do we still check in and ask permission and consent before we do it? Like how in depth and thorough was this conversation about jealousy, Kink? Or was it just sort of like one time you got a little jealous and you were like, oh, that was kind of hot. And you left it at that.

And then the next time you were like, I would be really jealous if, you know, like, I don't know. And we've done this show long enough to know that people are really bad with kinks. Yes. People are very bad with kinks, communication, setting safety tools, boundaries, guardrails, you know. So the thing is, look, this could be a case of you fucked up by making a joke, not so jokey. It could be your husband's fucking stupid.

He's really dumb. Like you've also got the show long enough to know that men are also you had a really pretty fucking clueless and dumb. Yeah. Is this a case of horny brain won out over just brain? Because this is, I'm going to say it, a real dumb fucking bad move to do. Like it would have been again, the only saving grace for this man is that you have discussed it jokingly before. So there's like a grain or a kernel. I still think no. But

again, there's like a fuse that I can see having lit at stages. You know what I mean? Like I can see I can see the fuse leading to horny brain where he's like idea oh yes this is what my wife wants yeah um you know i so i don't really want to give him too much credit because if that wasn't in this question we'd all be like yo what the fuck my bro yeah uh so one what the fuck my bro two you gotta fucking communicate and i think part of being safe is knowing boundaries. And if you're going to step outside of what has already been a firmly established boundary, you need to be able to talk about it

instead of just firing the ex a text and oops. I guess that was a terrible, awful thing to do. Does it say in the question whether or not he knows that the ex was abusive? It doesn't say that. Because I think that, I think if... It makes it way worse if he also knew that. Right.

It goes to show sort of like the idea that I think a lot of dudes don't understand or don't take seriously the baggage and abusive sort of like ripples that come from leaving an abusive partner or being in an abusive relationship in the sense of like, he thinks like, oh, they're not in a relationship anymore so he can no longer hurt her, right? Like you're with me now so you're safe

because the abusive partner is no longer around. But like the second- We've now reintroduced them to their life which is already- You've now opened the door. Right, even aside from how he's yeah. How fucked up and disgusting what you did was you've now done something worse, which is opened up the door to let in this person.

And like it does suck for someone shitty to have like a little like chip on their shoulder. They were like, oh, you're the one in the wrong here. Like, look at me doing well. And like, and for all we know, he does have a stash of these pictures and videos Yeah, that he's forgotten about that he hasn't thought about that He has you know that like kind of died in the recesses of his brain and then he's like, oh, yeah You know what? Actually I can be a turbo piece of shit. Yeah and use these as blackmail I can use these as you know more emotional abuse to be like,

Hey, remember this? Hey, remember that? Here's this, I'm going to start dropping these to your husband because I know you don't want him to have, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, it's, or even just like, who knows what I'll do with these unless you do X or Y or just needle her. Like, I don't know how this emotionally abusive like behavior like manifested, but it's not good. It's not good now that he's in this thing. Even if it doesn't go that far, it's embarrassing and shitty. You know what I mean?

And you've kind of like taken some of her like, I don't know, like, I don't want to say pride or like high ground, but like you kind of have, you've undermined all the work that she's done distancing herself and getting better and being better. And now you've just kind of have you've undermined all the work that she's done distancing herself and getting better and being better And now you've just kind of like brought her down and brought him in and it's like oops. I was horny I wouldn't I don't want to talk to any of like my my any of my partners past partners Who I know were shitty right like even if even if they're on good terms now, I

don't want to You know interact with those people. I certainly wouldn't do anything to potentially reinitiate harm for my partner. 100%. And the fact that you didn't think about that, again, operating under the guise of you know about this partner and you know what they did and you know their past. Even still, I think even if you want to believe this is the best dude in the world,

I think it's still a dumb thing, obviously. Yes, there's no world in which this is a good scenario unless the jokes weren't jokes, and for some reason, the ex is someone who's also a good friend of yours and on the same page, and you have to all discuss this, and then you go ahead with it. That's the only world in which this works, which is, as you can tell, a very specific

weird world. You know what I mean? If that happens, great. Good for you. I can't imagine it will, but you'll note that everyone was willing, healthy, and on the same page in the scenario that I floated because any other way you're doing this is fucked. And what you did was fucked. And yes, is it effed up? It is effed up. It's very effed up.

Yeah. If that's the question I got to answer on this question. Yes, it's just effed up. This is effed up. I'm out of questions, but we still got a little bit of wiggle time. If only there was something we could talk about. If only. Say something happening on June 19th? Oh, wait, yes. Wait, is that the Thursday? It is a Thursday.

The big event? The big event. The biggest event, I'm not gonna say that. I feel like that's kind of a bad plug for the show. The mediumest event. Yeah, the most acceptable event. We're doing a show, another show, live show, Thursday, June 19th, we're doing our special Pride edition.

If you didn't come last year, it's a blast. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. And we had so much fun that we're bringing Trevor back. And Trevor Campbell from You Made Me Queer, Queer-ial, hilarious gentleman. Just a jam of a human, lights up the room, and then makes me cry laughing. So two huge points in his favor. Love him. Last year's show was

incredible and we also have another guest who you might recognize from a couple of weeks ago who was a guest on an episode, Tim of Sex Talk with Tim. Yes. He's gonna be here, he's gonna be on stage, he's gonna be rocking it, it's gonna be four of us, it's gonna get raunchy, it's gonna be a lot of fun, you gotta be there. I don't know how we're going to reign Tim and Trevor together because we've only ever done two people on a show before and that was our pod wives,

Maddie and Liv from 31 and 30. And it was, we had no control over what was happening. And our shows have just gotten wilder since then. Yeah. So I've got a game that we're gonna play. Ooh, I was gonna ask, but I won't, cause it's gonna be a secret for everybody in here. My plan is that we just leave the stage, take a seat,

enjoy a drink and have a blast watching the two of them rock it because that's all we need. We need us up there. We will have us up there, but can you imagine sitting in the audience with the friends and having a beautiful cocktail from Black Sheep, maybe some apps, ooh. It couldn't get any better.

It couldn't get any better. I feel like we are the sort of, the guys who roll out the red carpet for Pride Week, right? We're the guys who are like We know you're gonna get fucking crazy. We know you're gonna have a great pride. We're here to allow you Entrance into this great week allow you Wow day Keeping pride you're not allowed to unless he lets you unless Nile and I Unless he lets you unless Nile and I specifically don't put me. Yeah

Guys is gonna be a very fun show be there or we'll strike war Be there $10 tickets $15 VIP where you'll get a drink. It's gonna be a lot of fun They always are and if you're one of the people who regularly comes out They're fun because of you because we do get a really good crowd and by that I mean the people that come are just not beautiful. Yeah, so hopefully fun because of you, because we do get a really good crowd. And by that, I mean the people that come are just beautiful. Yeah. So hopefully we'll see you there. Thank you for listening to us ramble in a very concise, focused, marketable manner. And are you ready for some bad sex writing, Dave?

Yeah, I suppose. I will thank Josh Eagle and the Harvest Cities first for their song Paper Stars. OK. Let's hit you with it's called Chasing Harry. Good. A novel of sexual terror by Michael Fleischer. 1979. I'm gonna read all of it because some of it's really bad, but this one was powerful. Her face had a dumb, tired look, like the kind dumb people have when they're bored and

tired. As she swirled around the stage on a pair of legs that seemed almost too thin to support her torso while her 80 inch tits soared obscenely after her. Now judging by the way this man has written, I don't know if he means like is her bust 80 inches? Are we are we like because 80 inches is big. But like imagine if it was like 80 inches is big. But like imagine if it was just 80 inches straight out. I actually when I found this, I read it like six feet. Yeah, actually, it is just under seven feet.

And I know that because I had to measure a bike stand today. Hell, yeah. I thought it was eight inches. I was laughing at that and it was only right now that I realized oh no it says 80. Yeah. Dump them some big tits. Huge. And you know what? They should have a thing on dating apps where you have to disclose if you have 80 inch tits or not. It's true. I don't think there's legs strong enough that could handle it regardless how thin they are. It's true. My name is Dave Miller and I'm'm Niles Bain. And we've been your Fug Buddies.