F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 375 - Dragon Pouch

Episode Date: December 29, 2025

I honestly can't remember what Dragon Pouch means or how we got there and I'm holidays, so you can't make me figure it out.

I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. I put my trust in love. I put my trust in you and when I'm trusting I love. I put my trust in love. Hello friends. My name is Dane Miller. And I'm now Spain. Guess what?

What? We're your fuck buddies. Oh, we're doing this again. Guess what? What? We're a sex and dating advice podcast, where we take your sticky, sexy situations and turn them into sexy, sticky situations. We find them online and we find them from you, and we answer them right here right now,

even in this gray period of the year where time means nothing and the only god is turkey. You know what? Maybe this is a controversial opinion. Oh. I don't think turkey's that good. You're doing it wrong then. I just think turkey is the, I don't know. I just feel like it's lame or chicken.

Oh, I don't know. The thing is, it's like if turkey was better, I'd probably. have it more. And I think one of the things I like about turkey is that it's, I only have it occasionally. It's like a nice like, oh, it's turkey because it's, you know, Christmas or Thanksgiving or whatever. So like I was about say, I really like it. It's like, oh, turkey finally. But like if it was better, I probably would have it more and then it wouldn't be the selling. So maybe, I don't know. And also, I will say every now and then, I will get a giant ass turkey tie from the grocery store. Two reasons. One, because there's this incredible like

maple Dijon, like spicy maple Dijon, like, turkey thigh recipe that I have and two because it's cheap yeah I mean I will give I will give turkey that I made turkey burgers a while ago and it was ground beef was it's like four times more expensive and like I got a whole thing of like crown turkey for like five bucks but when it comes down to it I think like I don't think anyone would be upset if you went to Thanksgiving dinner and you had all of the sides or Christmas dinner and all the sides were there no one would be upset if someone was like also I forgot to make the turkey everyone would be like that's cool we're not here for the turkey. We're here for stuffing and mashed potatoes and roasted carrots and

Brussels sprouts. Like all of those things are what Christmas dinner is about. I couldn't care less what you serve meat-wise. So I disagree with one caveat. I think you're right if they're like, I didn't do turkey, I did duck. Or like, I didn't do turkey. I did a chicken. If they're just like, I didn't do anything, it's just sides, I'd be hungry. No, I would, I would eat the shit. If there was enough sides to sate my ravenous belly. That's the thing. If. If. So if you've, if you've, if you've left out a large part of the meal. Maybe there isn't. But you're right. You're right. You're fucking right, dude. I did it. I won Christmas. No, it's gone. It's done. All right. It's after Christmas. Yeah. We hope you had a wonderful festive time. And we're here to make it even more festive by talking about

I'm worried I misled the guy I'm dating about how I look with my clothes off. How do I beat the pillow princess accusations? Boyfriend is always sick on girlfriend's birthday. How do I start sexting? Uh, this is by Vulcaness. Hell yeah. Word, I misled the guy I'm dating about what I look like with my clothes off. 20-year-old female and 22-year-old male. I have a skinny-slash athletic build. Unlike most women with this body type, I don't really have boobs.

I almost exclusively wear a push-up bras, which give the impression I have cleavage when I really don't. It's feel like I shot myself on the foot by doing it because the guy I'm dating always talks about how I've got a great body, how I'm built like an hourglass. But that's far from true and it's all an illusion. I'm worried that once our clothes come off, he's going to be disappointed. I'm not sure if I'm overthinking this or not, but it suddenly has me feeling really insecure about the way my body looks. Debating, standing on a pick of me topless, just so he knows what I actually look like.

Don't know if that's a bad idea. Okay, I get this. I understand. We're all insecure about our bodies. We're all worried that our bodies aren't going to live up to our partner's expectations or society's expectations or whatever. Totally fine. A couple things I want to say to hopefully push your mind in these.

One, hourglass figure has nothing to do with boobs, butts, buts, anything. It is not a profile situation. It is a front on your hips or your waist is smaller than your hips and smaller than your upper body. Yeah, it's like the hourglass like dead on. If you were an hourglass from the side, something would be terribly wrong. You'd have a hunchback and big boobs. You'd have a big butt and be pregnant. I don't know.

You would literally look like someone got into like a creative character and really fucked up the sliders to the point of, you know, grotesque. Yeah. And look, I also don't want to go too far down this route because maybe there is someone who looks like an hourglass sideways and I don't want to make you make you fun with you miss reading it. Yeah. And that's okay in this festive gray area. Two, if this person is a sane human being and he's what, 22 and has complimented your body, if this person isn't the scum of the earth dirt bag horrible garbage man, he will be thrilled to see you naked. Because even though you're like, oh, I'm a slim athletic build, that's a pretty standard universally appreciated body type, both in society and, you know, just across the board, I think many people are into that body type. if for whatever reason

when you guys finally get naked and the shirt comes off and the braw comes off if he looks at you goes oh man then he's a dirtbag piece of shit that you shouldn't be wasting your time with anyway regardless of of whether you've misled him or not

and the thing is he's looking at your body and you're saying there's one thing that you have you know as you put it like represented falsely everything else is still there so it's like if there is any disappointment which again, I doubt there will be, it's only a little part of the hole, right? So it's like, don't discount yourself based on one thing. I also don't think this will happen, but I do think

there's a very easy fix. I don't think sending him a nude just for this, like, purpose is, is necessary. If you want to send a nude, send a nude. If you don't, definitely do not. But there's a really simple way to do this, and it's the next time you hang out, you don't wear the push-up, bro. Boom, you've done it. Like, if that's your concern and you're comfortable doing so, just don't wear it next time. And then you'll give him a little better of an indication. of what you look like again if this is your concern it's so easy it's a nice little stopgap between being naked sending a nude and doing this thing that's obviously gotten into your head just don't wear it next time boom easy this is one we have just solved bang on the money

100% success rate also i'm like i'm trying to think back and i've uh you know i've always skewed towards smaller boobs in terms of like people that i've i've dated um and i'm trying to like rewind and think I think if I've ever been, like, I've ever actually clocked the difference of when the pushup Brock comes off to... No, I've never been surprised by size. I've definitely never been disappointed by size or lack thereof. I don't ever remember being like, oh, they're smaller.

Ever. And I've seen a lot of boobs. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Like, I'm literally trying to, like, go back and be like, have I ever... And granted, I know that we are an exception to a lot of male mindsets. um but take this with a grain of salt of course but generally we're very excited to see boobs that's the thing and honestly i think the more sad man out there are going to be even more excited to see boobs because they probably don't get to a lot yeah again i don't want to mislead you in thinking that every dude

is going to be cool about this because there are dudes out there who will be pieces of shit however If this dude is into you and likes your body, I do not think that this is going to be a deal break for him. No. Also, unless you're wearing the most insane push-up bras ever, he probably also is a pretty good, like, if you're a B cup or an A cup and you're wearing a push-up bra, there's only so much that that push-up bra can do. Like, I don't think you're misleading him into thinking that you're, you know, several bra sizes bigger. Short of, like, actual prosthetics. Like, I think you're good. Yeah.

And again, it's simple, right? Like, I just want to hammer this home. It's like, if he's shit, that sucks, but it's a good thing to know and you've dodged a bullet, right? And there is that stopgap of just don't wear it the next time. If you're genuinely upset and concerned and this is in your head, just don't do it. Easy. We've done it.

There's, yeah, there's a lot of ways to, but I do also want to touch on base what you said as well. It's like, don't feel like you need to reveal yourself to clear the, whatever like you you know clear the air of because like it's it's fine i promise you if this guy's gonna send you his dick pick he's gonna do some angela he's gonna do some camera work he's gonna do some strategic hand placement to make his dick look bigger than it is or he's like a normal dude and has done it on the toilet and you can see his poop between his legs like half the questions we're getting because apparently men don't give a fuck yes those are your options um but you're you're okay also also like i just again i just again i

I don't want to put too much pressure on the body image. I don't want to make anyone feel bad. But what that butt do? Because if you got a great butt, then it's, I don't know, I feel like you're ignoring the butt situation. And I feel like you got a problem.

Ignoring the everything else situation, which she's already pointed out is fucking popping off. So it's like... Something tells me she's got a great butt. But the butt is just... Which is not talking about it. The butt is just part of it. As the boobs are just part of it.

Yeah. More than just one part. And again, like, you don't really get to make these decisions for the people that you're seeing, you don't get to be like, oh, I think he's upset,

so I got to preemptively send a nude. Like, that's, you know, don't do that. Don't, like, self-reject. Don't come up with these problems where there probably isn't any. Take the simple solution, which is just don't wear the bra next time. If this is something that's, like, upsetting you.

If it's something you don't care about, like, you don't think you need to worry about this, unless you're doing, like, crazy prosthetics and weird-ass, like, actual, like, misleading people. But, like, no one does that. You're fine. Take a breath. Don't wear it next time.

He's going to be thrilled. Unless he sucks, in which case, you dodge the bullet, everyone wins, apart from him because you kick him to the curb. And he doesn't get to see your boobs. He doesn't get to see him. How do I beat the pillow princess accusations without riding his dick? This is from Hermit Frog, I think, is what it says. It's got a lot of numbers in replacing the letters.

I want my current partner to feel like I'm an active participant in fucking him and pleasing him. But I've really struggled to ride his dick because I've asthma and a knee problem, L.O.L. Is there any way I can be not a pillow princess? without writing or any way to make it less difficult. So Pillow Princess isn't someone who doesn't get on top. It's someone who doesn't participate.

It's someone who just starfishes, who lies there, who, you know, isn't an eager, willing participant. So you don't need to do the things that you say you can't do, which is good. What you do need to do is get involved. Be enthusiastic, you know, like kiss his neck, grab his butt and pull him into you, like fucking be part of it. Because imagine if you were riding him and he just lay there, didn't respond, didn't look at you, arms out to the side, just like, you know, that would suck for you. Whereas, like, if you are riding him and he's, like, grabbing your boobs and, like, saying hot things to you and, like, grabbing your ass and, like, pulling you down to kiss you, that's being enthusiastic and being a part of it. So, like, if you're doing that stuff, you're probably pretty fucking good.

Yeah, it's, as now said, like, I also think we could extend the definition of Pillow Princess to people who only want to be, like, is only there to. to be pleasureed and not to please. Yeah. Right. Like it's, it might not necessarily be in action, but also indifference. Um, which doesn't seem to be, you are, are writing a question specifically to make sure that the experience is enjoyable to him and that you want to please him and you want to be

an active participant. That right there. That's step one is, is, is sort of, yeah, the, the spark of, of what you need to not be a pillow princess, um, has now said. you don't need to do things that hurt you in order to prove that you are enjoying sex and you want to police him. So if riding his dick hurts your knee and causes you to be out of breath, I promise you that's going to detract from the pleasure of the situation. If I know my partner is in pain or is struggling and is unable to breathe, I'm not going to have a good time.

No, that's, but I look, maybe this is not what I should be saying because I don't know your situation, I feel like there's ways you can be on top without hurting your knee or getting that out of breath. Like, if you can walk up some stairs, you can write a fucking dick. And like, you don't have to be like in a squat position. You can be kneeling. There are, there are many ways to position yourself and you're on top. Again, I don't know your specifics, but I feel like you could make it happen if you wanted to. But we're not going to get into that. It just depends on the knee injury, right? Like, if it's just a a bended knee situation, then you are kind of fucked there's there's little ways to to well you could be kneeling you could be sitting

as well like you get them sit in the edge of the bed and you could like go on top like there there are things you could do I just don't think you should discount it but again I am not a doctor and I do not know your your your knee might be so fucked so yeah you know I'm just saying the whole idea of pillow princesses are upsetting to me because I think it's like what's the the male equivalent right Like, I don't really, like, or is it just a universal term? The male equivalent is just like... Starfish? Pump and dump, right?

Just like, you go, you fucking jackhammer and leave. And either way, it's kind of... But, like, it is weird that, like, there isn't really a term of, like, guy who just lies there. And, like, because, like, there's not even, like, a lie there and get your pleasure necessarily. It's, like, a lie there and just don't interact. You know what I mean? Like, a pillow princess doesn't necessarily get pleasure. They just don't interact with the thing.

Whereas I think if it was like a guy version, it would be like someone who always gets head or like wants you to, you know, get him off but doesn't do anything. But I do think like, again, probably due to the orgasm gap, there would be pleasure inherent in the male version. Whereas like in the female one, I think it's just like, she's not doing anything. Yeah, that makes sense because typically men will will have sex specifically for their completion. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that checks out. I don't know. There should be a term for that guy who just like, yeah.

I'm sure there is. I'm sure there's a term that people use whatever the opposite of endearingly is voluntarily. Condescendingly. Nile made some good points as well. I don't, like, I think what you need to avoid

is disingenuine engagement, right? I think there is a risk of going too far the opposite direction and becoming almost cartoonish in your enjoyment and pleasure. Instead of being a pillow princess, you're like a pillow fucking like possum. You're just like, your, like, hand everywhere and legs, and you're just, like, cavorting and, you know. Yeah, like, one of the worst, like, sexual encounters I've ever had, or one of the worst sexual partners I've ever had was someone who, like, literally would be, like, roaring and screaming the second anything started.

And I literally had to take her aside and be like, look, what's happening here? Nobody is that good, nor should they be. And, like, it's taking me out of the experience. Like, I feel like an awkward, like, bystander in my own sense. sexual experience and she was just like, oh, I thought men like that. And I was like, maybe there's a guy out there who wants you to perform. Yeah, I'm sure there is a dude who does like that. But I was like, no, I want it to be genuine.

You don't have to do anything at all once it's genuine. And I don't want this weird like porn for the heart of hearing like performance that you're doing. It should all the back, which made things actually good. So don't, don't do that. Like you don't need to put on a performance. But like, there is a whole world between lying there arm spread. not doing a single thing and getting an Oscar.

Yeah. So just be careful when you are consciously trying to participate that you don't go to the realm of performative because that is that is just as bad as not participating because it's still both both feel fake or not both are a way to like pull me out of the sexual experience because like I agree the I've had some encounters where the sex hasn't been very good. But the ones that made me the most uncomfortable that I wouldn't go back to are the ones that are performative.

Because I'm like, I don't even feel like, even though I don't know if, you know, during my bed or like awkward sexual encounters, I don't know if we necessarily both reached the maximum pleasure that we could together. But, you know, we both came. We called it a day and we went our separate ways. With this one, I was like, I don't even know where you stand. Like, I don't know what's happened for you. right like maybe you came you certainly made enough noise to imply that you did yeah you did that the entire time so i don't know what happened here and i'd rather be in a state of being like it wasn't great sex but it it was sex that did its job and cool then being like what the fuck just happened

also now i need to buy my neighbors a you know a fruit basket because at the same time like these two boys fuck it fucking like it's like it's sucked when you're just like the whole time you're having sex you're like a poor roommate fuck this sucks yeah and it's like it's one thing if you have sex and things do get a little loud but it's natural and you're in the moment like because then i'm sorry you you live in the city you're going to hear someone fuck deal with it but when it's like oh she's got a megaphone and she's making sure you hear and it sucks that's bad so once hooked up with someone who like narrated what was happening and i was like this is

this is unacceptable like they'd be like what kind of narration he's he's fucking me slowly he looked at me with smoldering eyes and said will you please stop i won't it's it was pretty much that where it's just like oh my god you're gonna bend me over you're fucking me from behind like what do you like am i on a wire right now like are you are you with work with the fbi i what the she's letting the cops know exactly what you're doing yeah i was like what's going on did you bury those bodies what were your dealings with gabriel garcia the famous assassin and you took money from him on february 13th like what's going on stop it's like yeah there's my my roommate again like at the time i was like he's gonna know i'm having sex it's it's probably going to to to be obvious but i don't think he needs to

know every detail that's yeah yeah that's very very funny that was definitely one person who i had to have the awkward conversation the way that you did of being like, look, I love that you're enthusiastic about every move that I've decided to make during this encounter. But can we maybe not scream everything that's happening? I feel like sex is like a conversation. If you're talking to someone and they're just like blank face, like staring off into the distance or on their phone. Yeah. That sucks, right? And that's the pillow princess. If you're talking to someone and they're like, oh, yeah, no, okay. Oh, you know, and then the thing and they're like, oh, my friend. I'm like, oh, yeah, the guy you mentioned who you work with.

And they're like, oh, yeah, yeah. It's like, you're engaged, you know them, you're participating in the conversation. There's a back and forth. So, like, maybe you're not jumping in with the most incredible stories yourself, because that can be rude. You're just like engaged. That's kind of what you're looking for. And if you go too far, they're like, oh, hey, and you're like, hello. How's it going?

Or it's that like super fake. Yeah. Oh, I went to work. That's hilarious. That's hilarious, bro. That's so fucking funny. Exactly. It's like, no one wants that either.

Yeah. That's exactly it. I feel like you just think of it like a conversation. If you're engaged, you're focused, you're giving a little back and forth. That's all you really need. And the golden rule. Interesting people are interested in people. Exactly.

It's the same thing, right? I think that's a great analogy. Good job, Nile. Finally. It's only been 400 episodes, but I did something good. You did it. Now I can break this podcast curse. You're free.

Boyfriend is always sick on girlfriend. friend's birthday. He's 28, she's 20. Oh, sorry, he's 23, she's 28. My birthday's today and my boyfriend of two years is sick again. I'm not trying to throw myself a pity party or anything, although I'm using this to vent my disappointment. I feel like I'm seeing a pattern, but I don't know how to proceed. This would technically be my third birthday since we've been a couple, but the first one doesn't really count. We hadn't really been together for a month at that point, so I didn't expect much. Fast forward to a year later, 2024. And he did take work off to spend the day with me, but ended up sick and spent the whole day in bed.

I were super sad. I don't have any friends or family nearest to spend the day with. Instead, I have to nurse him that day. I don't have many important people in my life to give with. I know when he goes out of the way from me, so I guess I'll let my girl brain go too far out from reality and have my expectations too high. That year for his birthday, I threw him a party.

His friends came over. I made a bunch of food. We cooked it over the fire pit. I got cute dinosaur balloons and decor. We love dinosaurs. I baked him a cake and he had a pretty good day. I don't expect him to throw me a party, per se. Just something to do together would have been nice.

But what rubbed the salt in the wound was that year, he was finally feeling better, maybe about 7 p.m., but he had D&D, so we attended that session. We didn't do anything. I went to bed alone that night. He wished me happy birthday when we woke up, got me a gift, but I would have appreciated some attention at least. Or maybe a card or flowers or food as well as the gift, just to make me feel special. This year, he didn't request off work, even though I remind them two months ahead of time. That's okay. Maybe we'll do something together in the evening. I always take off on my birthday so I can just take a rest day. I also always take off for his. But then he sent me a text message and basically said, said, I threw it up. Can you come get me? Sadface? So I picked him up from work and bring him home. He's been sleeping ever since. So here I am again alone on my birthday. He got me a gift this morning and it's not a bad present, but it's related to a hobby he loves. I know he enjoys when I join him on it and I don't hate doing it with him with him but I'm not obsessive like him really want for himself. It feels like he really wanted for himself. I'm still practicing gratitude. I don't think he would get me something with bad intention so I appreciate it. But for he's something he really want for himself. I'm still practicing gratitude. I don't think he would get me something with bad intention so I appreciate it. But for his birth, there's a bunch of other stuff. She also did a lot of stuff for his birthday. This year, I'm wondering if it's a subconscious thing of him being sick on my birthday. I know it might sound crazy, but it's too weird to be a coincidence for me. Even if I got sick on this birthday, I still went out on my way both years to prepare something special, a handmade with love. But I don't feel like he had much foresight or thought about me or my birthday either year. He said this morning, the plan after he got home was to have ice cream and binge animate

together, which is fine, I guess, but I would have appreciated an actual date, going for dinner, or at least getting me a cake after eating at home. I haven't had a birthday cake in like 15 years or maybe a balloon. I haven't had a balloon since I was seven. I don't know. Maybe I should stop fantasizing and appreciate what I have. I don't think my standards are too high, but maybe they are. Thoughts? Okay. So it's been two years that he's gotten sick. Is that what I understand? Yeah, yeah. Look, I get sick around the same time every year, pretty much consistently. So you say, for my birthday. It's true. The fact that you're like, it can't be a coincidence. It can't be. It's been two years. It's not that like, if this was a,

10 years streak or you know a significant amount of time where every time it was your birthday he got sick then sure I could be suspicious but it also seems to be too different as one was like he had a cold one was deepest throwing up regardless the problem I think here is the fact that he's uses like he he gets sick on your birthday but then doesn't seem to like do something after it's like I was sick for your birthday once the holiday madness is cleared out we're going to go out for your birthday. Like, if, if that's the case, there's, there's a lot here. And there's two different things that I want to talk with. One, it doesn't seem like he understands how important birthdays are to you. It also doesn't seem like you've communicated how important those birthdays are to you.

If you tell this man, hey, my birthday is really important. I don't have a whole lot of family. And so, like, you're kind of the person I spend my birthday with. And I'd really like it next year. If you made a bit more of a big deal about my birthday, I would like a cake. Maybe I'd like a Lune, get me a card. My partner is really good at this kind of stuff, where she will tell me very clearly when something is important to her, and what about that is important to her? And that it's not being needy. It's not being rude. It's not asking for unreasonable things. It's unless you are, right? Like if you're like, my birthday's important to me, I need $10,000. I need a Ferrari. Yeah. Like, sure, there is a point at which that can be bad, but I think so many

people like they wanted to be special and part of the specialness is them not having to ask for it yeah but you're not asking for it is you expecting somebody to read your mind and that's unrealistic because for all you know staying home getting some ice cream and binge watching some some anime could be exactly what he would like to do you know what i mean so like he's not being negligent he's doing for you what you know he would want or he's being fucking negligent but i do think like this is i think there's two main things here and both of which dan has brought up and One is you communicating effectively what you want, right? And there's nothing wrong with that.

People can't be expected to read your mind. Everybody has different standards and excitements and desires and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So if you're clear and just be like, hey, I feel kind of sad that, like, we didn't really get time to do blah, blah, blah, blah. Like this year for a birthday, like, do you mind, like, all I really want is, like, I would love to actually, like, make a day out of it. Like, not stay home. Like, we'll go out, maybe, like, do dinner. I would love, like, a cake. And just like, if he's like unreasonable, that's unacceptable.

Like, fuck you. That's good for you to know, right? But if he's like, oh, okay, amazing. I'm glad I know. And then steps up, then congratulations. You've figured out what communication is. And on top of that, the other thing that Dan raised is it doesn't matter if he's sick on your birthday because next week exists.

So you go, oh, yeah, I'm so glad that you're feeling better because we didn't get to do anything for my birthday. How about we celebrate next week on Wednesday? and if he's sick on Wednesday now we start to get into now we knives out everything we're starting to get the detective wheels turning because that's crazy

and honestly I don't think like that is on him at that point right like I agree you know I think we both agree that like explaining how important birthdays are and what you want out of the birthday and what a birthday looks like to you is important to explain to him

but I don't think he needs to be told like I right like I don't think That's true. Let's be fair. This guy isn't doing well on this question. I do think we've come down a little firmly on you with the communication. But like anybody who's like, well, I missed the one day it was your birthday. So fuck. I guess I got to not get you a present or do anything with you or celebrate it ever. I guess it'll got to. Like that's it's not like a loophole. Like oh, that 24 hours passed. No present for you. Like no, fuck you. It should honestly like there should be an urge on your behalf for the dude to be like, oh, I missed your birthday, so I'm going to make it up to you by doing something a little extra special for you. Yeah, especially, like, not only did I miss it, you spent it looking after me. Taking care of me, yeah. I would feel so shit.

Like, anytime my partner's, like, looking after me when I'm sick, I feel so much gratitude, but also I feel terrible because I'm like, that sucks for you. I appreciate you. Thank you for the soup when I was like a, you know, corpse human. Let's do something really nice. I'm going to go get you a treat. So the fact that, like, you would be like, well, Mr. birthday, also you looked out. to be let's see how it goes next year let's roll the dice like no dude what do you fucking doing you shouldn't have to be told that yeah i mean when i was sick last week uh my partner

was exceptional she took care of she always takes very good care of me when i'm when i'm sick but she gets very frustrated with me because i don't like when i'm sick i just like i just go comatose like i shut everything down she's like you never tell me what's wrong or like what you're feeling or like what is bad because like the other day i remember i was like i was really out of it. And I was just like, I can't wait to drink water again and not be bad. She's like, what the fuck does that mean? And I was like, it's bad

when I drink water. And she's like, your throat hurts? I was like, I don't want to talk about it. Like, like, that's but like, usually. Doctors hate this one trick. What are your symptoms? No. What the fuck? And I don't know why I do it, but it's just like, usually it's because like talking hurts

and I don't really want to have like a big conversation and also like you knowing that my throat feels weird when I eat or drink. It really doesn't mean anything. Like, you can't think about it. I'm like the complete opposite. I'm like, my fucking head hurts. My throat's so sore. Like, like, just, I'm sure my partner wishes she knew less about my symptoms where I just like every two minutes, I'm like, this sucks. I hurt. Head sore. We'll swap partners when we're sick. Yeah, perfect. Yours would be like, can you get him to shut the fuck up? Yeah. My partner doesn't take medicine. And I'm like,

take your fucking medicine. I think they're always waiting for it to like get worse to like, oh, I need to do this if it gets bad. I'm like, it is bad. You're dying. Take your fucking medicine. Yeah, I also am not a big medicine boy either. And I'll be like, my head hurts. Take a fucking pill.

I won't say that. I will just sit there holding my head bad, hate water. No. Yeah, I'll just have like various cold masks on and just clutching my head. And my partner will be like, take an Advil. Take a fucking Advil, bro. The only thing I will take is, the inevitable part where like someone turns on your nose tap, I will take a like a decongestion

or whatever to sort of like slow that, like dry it up a little bit because I just hate blowing my nose. Decongestant makes that worse, bro. No, the fucking whatever, like, tasteful. It's like, cool. Let's get a little bit more sick. I put the pills in my nose to plug it up. Yeah, classic, classic. Yeah. Um, yeah. So make them, tell them birthday next week. Yes. Yeah. Tell them birthday next week. And I think it's like this should be a less. to everyone about anything. When something is important to you, don't expect your partner to just

magically understand that. And again, as now said, make sure you're clear about what is important to you and what you would like, because you were like, oh, this guy got me a gift that is part of a hobby that he likes doing with me. He, he, that's probably important to him, right?

Him, like, inviting you into his space, doing a thing that he likes to do with you is probably the gift, right? It's not so much the thing he gave you, it's the time you're going to spend together with whatever it is. Also, again, unless you seem to say you enjoyed it. So it's

like, if you're being genuine about that and he knows you enjoy something, it's like I got my partner dice because we would play TTRPGs together and it's like, it would really suck if she was like, oh, he got me dice so I can do this fucking thing with him. It's like, I hope that the genuineness

of the fun we have together means this is a nice gift. Admittedly, it wasn't for her birthday, but you know. So again, might not be selfish or it might he could suck the the jury's kind of out on that especially because he hasn't rescheduled your birthday talk to him tell him your communication like set up what you want you're like oh you know i really want this to be like here's a clear example the last couple of years so like being away from my family in canada and and like being away from all of my like christmas traditions and everything feels really weird because i just don't have what i would

consider, like, Christmas, because Christmas to me is X, Y, and Z, and I don't get to do those things. And, like, there are lovely people who have taken me in for Christmas, Dane included, partners. And it's amazing. And it's made Christmases instead of being depressing and terrible, super fun, but still not what I necessarily associate with Christmas. And it is, like, there's an element of, like, being in someone else's space and being part of their plans and sometimes feeling like, you know, well, should I even be here? Like, I'm now in the middle of their Christmas and like, you know, just a lot of stuff. And I think the last couple of years, I've just been feeling a little sad about the holidays and like wanting to make like new traditions and

wanting to like have a part of Christmas that I could like feel was like my own. And like last year I remember getting like pretty upset just because like I really wanted to do this thing. And like we never had time. Like we were always doing like a family thing or like all these things that like weren't I didn't have ownership over. Yeah. But like I never brought that up. And then I was like, oh hey i really want this year to like set aside time for us to do like our own like actual christmas thing and like take a night where it's just going to be us and then we did it there we go last year you know to be fair last year i brought it up we didn't have time but this year we put that time aside and we did it and it's like i can't expect her to read my fucking mind like christmas is

is busy and it's like she's not the one dealing with this thing so it's like for me to just sit there and be like well telekines or not telekinesis telepathy didn't work this year piece of shit Like, yeah, you've got to just, you know, and then you get to actually figure out, are there issues? Because if you bring it up and they're like, no, fuck you. Okay, you got a problem. Yeah. And like, it could be something, like, we're talking pretty big scale. We're talking major events, Christmas, holidays, birthdays, like we're talking, but it could be something as small as like, hey, you know, every now and then I would like a good morning text.

Or every now and then, I really appreciate a compliment about my outfit or small things that, like, are important to you. that are things that make you feel good, ask your partner for them. Yeah. There's no harm in that. And if your partner cares about you and wants to make an effort in the relationship, they will try to do that for you. I'm not going to say it's going to be a 100% success, right? Breaking a habit or forming a new habit is difficult.

But if you reinforce it, so say like, you know, you know Thursdays are a really bad day at work for you, for whatever reason. Being like, hey, Thursdays are tough for me. You know, I just kind of want to like come home and chill out and not deal with stuff. If my partner told me that. What I would do is I would, on Thursdays, I'd try to make sure I have like a little snack for them and be like, here you go. I've planned something so I'm going to be out of the house or I've scheduled to work.

So that when you come home, you don't have to worry about that. Like, in little things. And it's like if you bring it up in a way that's not accusatory and shitty and aggressive and you also are clear and you're not asking for. too much, I think you're going to be totally fine. And it's, it's just about trying to communicate into what you want and what you need and all this shit. And I think it's really important because people don't think about anybody but themselves. I don't mean this in a bad way necessarily, but it's like your reality is so ingrained in you that you think everybody

wants a birthday the way I want a birthday. So him not giving me a birthday the way I want a birthday is offensive. It's shitty. It's whatever. But like he's probably thinking, oh, this is how she wants to gift birthdays, he has a different reality to you, right? So just because he doesn't exactly know the things you want doesn't mean he's being shitty. There is gray area. And again,

this guy doesn't look great in this question. So I'm not specifically defending him. I'm just saying people tend to think that their reality is the reality, right? Oh, I didn't get a birthday or I didn't get a good morning text. Like, what a piece of shit? Whereas, like, another person would never even consider that because they don't want it.

So it's like, it's about opening up and letting people know your love language and the things that you want and like and need and not just assuming that they know that because again everybody has different views different fucking wants needs desires thoughts so if there's something you want just be open and honest about it and there's just like imagined romance of your partner just knowing just magically you walk in and it's everything you want it there's a birthday cake there's a balloon there's a streamers there's you know people with little things like that's unrealistic will you find partners who sometimes absolutely fucking nail it

of course you will will you find partners who need a little bit more coaxing or a little bit more guidance or a little yeah most likely that is what you're going to have to find will you find partners also who fake being sick every year on your birthday to get through the loophole sometimes sometimes maybe sometimes you will possible um and look also sometimes you'll find a partner who just misses the mark they've put in all the effort they've tried their best So, for example, my partner and I sort of, I don't want to say celebrate, but we take a time or a day to commemorate or remember her father's passing in which I plan a day. And it's just kind of like, it just happened one year where she invited me to spend the day with her for this day. And I planned a big day.

It was a very nice day. It was a great day. And last year, I didn't do a great job. And not the fact that I didn't try or anything. it was just like the things that I had planned kind of turned out to suck and but like that's not the point right like

it doesn't matter that the place that we went wasn't as cool as I thought it was going to be it's the fact that like I'm I did the thing and we spent the day together like that's what matters so I think you also do need to as much as like you do you can explain

what you want sometimes it's not going to be perfect and you have to understand that like the effort is what matters the intention is what matters, right? It's a lot that counts. I just don't want to make people think that like, oh, once you've told someone something,

it's going to be perfect every time. No, no. It's not going to. Sometimes you're not going to tell your partner that you actually like hate raspberry filling and someone's like, sees a cake and they're like, fuck yeah, that's a beautiful cake.

She's going to love that. And it's like, oh, you actually hate raspberries. Yeah. I really want to go out for a meal. They take you to the Mandarin buffet and you're like, oh, god damn. I was thinking more like candles and wine.

But, like, again, this simple anime boy to him, bedroom buffet, it's the best, you know? Yeah. So that is, you know, thought anyway. You get it. So just ask him to, or don't even ask him. I think communicate your needs, but also just be like, hey, because you can get to my birthday, are you free to celebrate it on Thursday? And if he's sick again, call us back up, we'll have a word with him.

And, hey, as, as D&D boys, as people who play, I think we have both taken days off. I'm pretty sure I did this year to celebrate birthday. with partners. That is one of the few acceptable reasons to miss a D&D session is that your partner's birthday and your obligations are not to the realm this Monday,

but to the princess. And if for some reason you do have something, I don't know, maybe this is the one day you guys could all be scheduled after eight years or like something. Again, I doubt there's a D&D session that really needs you to do this.

But if this is the case or if this is the day where you have to do something, you talk to your partner and go, hey, I'm so sorry, on your actual birthday day, I have a thing at night, I'm still going to make the morning special, but we're going to schedule a different day. Is that okay? Right? It's so easy. It's so easy to not be a piece of shit. Uh, let's squeeze this one in real quick. Beginning hope asks, how do I start sexting? Just to put it into context, I'm a girl, and I'm venturing into online corners. I still don't know much about that to do sexting or role playing. I really don't know

how to call it, but I appreciate any suggestions. Thank you very much. There's a lot of questions I have about this question. I'm so confused. I assume they want to just have fun with strangers in a non-intent, like not intending to do anything, but like a fun chat room where they're like, I'm De Silva the Dragon Warrior. That is what I am assuming that they are looking for online avenues only to do sex and role play, which again, I assume in the roleplay is of a sexy nature. What's not sexy about De Silva, the Dragon Warrior? No, what I'm saying is I don't think she's asking about two separate, like a non-sexual roleplay. Oh, I know.

De Silva. Oh, hey, please. De Silva. De Silva could afford one thing and it was either a big sword or clothes, and you know which one they chose. Yeah. I'm rock hard thinking about the Silva. Oh, I, let's just say I'm lifting the camera up so that we don't go a little down to my dragon pouch. Ew.

I hate that. I'm just going to go. That was our bad sense, right? Now, hold on. Is your dragon poucher dick? Yeah, weirdly. because it's strange I'm gonna go

you handle this one right you got this yeah we don't need two of us that's a crazy thing actually we just take week on week off yeah we just alternate man imagine people were oldly listening to the Dane episodes

I'd be so sad yeah there's just a huge spike in one of our episodes every week per damn look look I surely there if look look look hey look

listen We're Navi. We've just been devolved into Navi. Oh, from... Listen. Listen. I assume if you want to get into this, it didn't come from nowhere, right? You probably either know someone who's talked about it, have seen it on a show, or have read, like, some kind of role play forums or something, right?

If it's seeing it on the show or talking to a friend, I would look it up, do some research, or talk to said friend about it. If it is a forum that you're perusing, surely that's all the information you need, right? You're seeing how other people are interacting in the space. So you can just kind of like join in emulate. I do think researching is better. Like if it's a public forum, there are probably rules. And I also do think if it is an online thing that you're not like aiming to transition into real life or even if it is, I think you need to be careful about like your identity and your online privacy and safety. So when you set this up, don't use your real name.

do keep things hidden, and then when you're talking to these internet strangers, be wary of how much information you're giving them, uh, because that's just, you know, being online safety 101, right? Yes. I would say if, if you're dipping your toes on this, I think this is advice for all sort of like online privacy, all toe dipage. Um, you make a new email address because it's very easy to figure out what email address you've signed up to major account with. All someone has to do is be like, I forgot my password. And usually a website will be like, we set you a thing to this email. Um, so create a new email address to make your new account. Um, don't base anything on you. If like, give no indication of like where you live, not even a city. Don't talk about

landmarks. If you're going to talk about landmarks, choose something that everyone knows. Talk about the Empire State Building. Chicago Bean, baby. The Chicago Bean, Big Ben, like any of those things, right? Like choose famous landmarks that have nothing to do with. your actual location. Don't breadcrump any sort of information. And understand that you, this is opening up a door that's probably going to make you feel attached to people. If you do this seriously and enough, there's a very likely chance that you'll form a

connection with someone. That's very easily manipulated. So here's another thing. Don't give anyone money. Yeah. It's fake. Don't do it. Yeah.

Don't give anyone your real name or phone number. If you want to move to texting, maybe get like a WhatsApp with a, with like a fake thing, get a spoof number with Google phone or Google or whatever, like telegoogle or whatever. Like always use a proxy and never your actual stuff. Yeah. These are just basic online safety tips. In terms of actually starting your sexting adventure. I will say really quickly just to add to that, fuck, I had a thing and now I totally forgot it.

And the time it took me to interrupt politely. I should just bust over you like I usually do. Hey, listen. Fuck, okay, it'll come back to me. Yeah. There's someone that we had on the show, sex bot. I remember. I was going to bust right over.

If this is the kind of thing, because as Dane said, you can get into these almost like intense, like, feelings and like whatever. If this is a world that you're looking to get into, maybe don't overdo it, right? Because the thrill of like things being like sexual and like the parasocial relationships you can make and blah, blah, blah. It's like, it's easy to fall into these things. Like, look at people with AI boyfriends and, like, we're obsessed with, like, AI chatbots and shit like that. Don't let it, like, overtake your life in an unhealthy way. You know what I mean?

Definitely try to create, like, a healthy work-life balance, work being you talking about Thurgers' Dragon Pouch and life being actually meeting people in the real world. Yes. This should be a fun tertiary... Well, spice at the end of the day. Yeah. Not the full meal. Now, when you want to talk about, like, sexting, like, the actual, like, ins and outs of it, uh, just essentially, like, what you want to do is, it's a game of teas, right? I think if you're going to, if you haven't sexted it before, the last thing you really want to do is be like, my dick is so hard and I want to fuck.

Like, that sucks. It's a, I think that's an appropriate thing to send to a, a fuck buddy in which you've had a long and comfortable relationship with. I think that's a funny thing to send. to them at like 3 a.m. trying to booty call. I think that's fine. But people who are on these sites are probably looking for something a little prosier, something a little more juicy. They want a slow build. In general, I think sexting is kind of like telling a story, right? You're going, you're saying like, oh, I want to like, you know, I would love to like press you up against the wall and then I would do this. And then I would do it. You're bringing them through like

a story of like what you would do to them basically. Or asking them what they would do to you and like occasionally interjecting with like oh that's super hot or and what if i did this like it's a give and take it's a story it is almost like role play so that is totally defeated when you're you it's like okay yeah i take your clothes off now you're naked and i have sex with you yeah that's bad sexting that's super bad sexting yeah now that may be the plot of the sex however yes yeah uh what i would suggest is uh you are a lady which allows you a little bit of of leeway in terms of submissive. It's a little more accepted in sort of like the sexual sphere. Not just that you can't be a submissive man or, you know, other gender identity. But

it's pretty easy to be a submissive woman and be accepted in terms of that kind of stuff. Yeah, no one's going to be surprised or upset. Yeah. So you can literally use your inexperience as part of the sexting and role play. Like you can say, hey, this is my first. time I would like I really want you to show me the ropes and that could be for both things right like you could use it as both show me the ropes have had a sext and have them sort of like take you through these things while also you know role playing a scenario which they're taking you through it slowly as well yeah um this and also if like if you're starting off sexting it's so easy to just be like you know I'm wearing X Y Zad like what would you do to me boom you

you're putting the ball in their court while learning because like their approach to you and how well you enjoy that is going to inform how you respond and in what ways you you know like it's it's easy you can just put the ball on their court it's going to be hot and then you get to learn especially as day and said like a woman as a woman like it's weirder if it's like

oh my guy balls in your court it can still happen but like you're again can get away with it a thousand percent I think for for anyone really getting into it I think what a lot of people will respond well to is something along the lines of like, I've never done something like this before, right? I think a lot of people who are experienced

in a sphere get excited by that sort of energy being like, I'm interested, I've never done this before, and you're going to be my first. You're going to be my, you're going to be the person who shows me how it's done. You're, you know what I mean? Like, I'm a little shy. I'm a little nervous.

And I'm a little mouse warrior, and you're the dragon warrior. Can I get in your dragon pouch? Yeah, I need to scurry into your dragon pouch. Ow. Yeah, it's terrible. Terrible. But it's the only way that you can come. So I think what you need to do is once you, once you start sexting, follow the cues of the

person, right? Don't be afraid to ask questions. Don't be afraid to say, I like that. What else would you do? Right. Like, you're also training the person that you're talking with about what you want. Like, there's still consent involved. So they can't be like, if you're texting someone, they're like, I pin you against the floor and choke you. You know what I mean? Like, you can still have violence in these things that you don't want to. So don't

be afraid of, and like the great thing about sex is you can literally just block this person. And never have to talk to them again, which is a great thing and wish we could do it in real life sometimes. So don't think that you are at someone's mercy as well. If someone is doing something you don't like, just

either tell them. Tell them to stop or block or both. And any, if you're finding communities, any community is going to have guidelines, as now said. Any community is going to have rules. Any community is going to have sort of safeguards in place that allow you to safely do these things. Yeah. Maybe moderators, maybe, you know, head figures, people who you could reach out to if you had a problem or any questions. And again, if you find the right person, like, if you have like a sort of, you know, OOC out of character conversation with someone when you first start talking to them, be like, hey, I've never actually done this

before. You seem really cool. I would love to try this with you. Once we're done, could I maybe ask you a few questions and maybe give me a few pointers? It's the same thing as like entering into a kink community, right? Finding someone to guide you, finding someone to mentor you, most people who are into this kind of stuff are going to be happy to enrich you and because it just makes their community stronger and makes the experience better for everyone. So anyone genuinely interested in this is going to go out of their way to make you a better sexter and role player. Yeah. Everyone started somewhere and like you're always going to remember kind of your nerves entering into this thing. And also it's so gratifying to now be the person who's able to do that

to people. So I think people are going to love to take up that mantle as well. And I am sure there are articles written about how to do this. You know what I mean? So I'm sure you could get on right now and just be like, you know, the hottest sexting conversations and find like screenshots and stuff of things or even just like how to how to get into erotic role play communities or some shit like I bet you it's out there so look them up don't be afraid to admit that you're new to stuff and and like keeping up mind and you fucking got this and then just internet safety internet safety be safe right now or else dragon pouch the dragon pouch will consume you it's been a pleasure we love you always a pleasure I hope our last episode of the year a something it is

It is. That's crazy, man. This year flew. But everybody who's been here with us, we love you. Everybody who has shared us, followed us on social media's, liked our stuff. Vodafers in the Canadian podcast awards, which will best cover art. I guess we forgot to mention that. Shout out to our artist, who is amazing. And everybody, just thank you. Thank you. Anyone who's been a part of this in any positive capacity. Someone sent us a very lovely message the other day. We really appreciate that. It made our week. So thank you. And yeah, I hope you're having a really nice time of year. I hope the end of the year is, is, you know, restful and or exciting, however you want it. And I hope we all have a fucking great 2026. Yeah, we're going to make 2026 good. We're going to... We are. We're going to yell at you.

You thought I was bringing bad energy or, like, hostile energy in 2025? I'm stepping it up. God. I'm stepping it up. Thank you, Josh Eagle and Harvard Cities for their selling paper stars. And I'm going to hit you some bad sex writing. Okay. Stalking in the winter wonderland.

Jewelry designer Sloan dreams of launching her own custom line, but she needs a Christmas miracle to pull it off. With traditional banks turning her down left and right, she can't resist when mysterious stranger offers her a lifeline. I see what she creates in those stolen moments when she thinks no one's watching. I see everything. There's a darkness at her core, and I will unravel her until I find it. Reclusive billionaire Cole Asher offers to fly Sloan out to an ultra luxurious Swiss resort for a meeting. Reluctingly, she agrees, only to realize she's met him once before in a New York bar. She is crucial to my plans and I need her close. She insists that we keep things professional and I comply, but soon she will realize that every line is blurred when it

comes to her and me. Cole offers to back her company, but there's a cost. To secure his investment, she must move into his Manhattan penthouse, where she'll complete our first round of designs for him to review before Christmas. Sloan throws herself into her work, yet soon the attraction between her and Cole becomes undeniable. As the city sparkles with Christmas splendor from her penthouse view, Sloan wonders if she stepped into a fairy tale until Cole's powerful enemies close in they will stop at nothing to destroy him including going after the woman he loves

I will burn down the world to get her back and it will be in time for Christmas tropes billionaire romance stalker romance forced ice skating Christmas romance Morley Grey MMC forced proximity painfully cute Christmas puppies opposite attract king friendly he knows when you're awake is a dark romance

with a morally gray male lead I thoroughly, my favorite part of this is the tropes where it's very obvious that like some of them are, are, you know, kind of like trigger warnings, content warnings, but then some of them are also like forceful little figure skating or ice skating or whatever. It's like, yeah, I like those. They're fun. It gives me the impression that they know exactly what they're doing, like tongue in cheekness. And I genuinely think these books probably aren't terrible, actually. Yeah, yeah. This one sounds pretty good. I wish there were more. dark hallmark Christmas movies like this like I wish there was there will be yeah it's it's coming it's creeping we hope you have an incredible new year and we will see you with a year in review soon yes our our patreon for this month will be year in review as well as the top porn hub and tinder slash hinge slash whatever we can find trends that's going to be a blast yeah my name is day miller and i'm not spain here's our dragon pouch and here's our dragon pouch Thank you.