F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 46 - The Adventures of Boomerang Man

Episode Date: August 12, 2019

We're just a couple of sweaty, melty, hot boys this week.  The closet has reached peak summer temperatures and the only thing saving us is this new, chill energy from not recording on our usual day.�� Niall is well fed and Dain's got some serious punch energy happening.  Topics include keepin' it casual, vlog couples, a once in a lifetime jerk-off experience, an immediate blowjob, the skinvisible man, swallowing your pride and not eating lead, how does cuddling work, and an apology from Boomerang Man.

I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. Hello friends, my name is Dave Miller. And I'm Niall Spain. And we're your fuck buddies. Welcome back to this week's podcast episode

Mm-hmm that we are currently recording. I'm like for you. Well, we're not currently recording I've got a unless you're listening from outside the door Yeah, or you're listening to this on a Wednesday when we're recording next week's oh shit, but this week it's on Tuesday. Mm-hmm I don't it's true. I'm a whole different energy today because like i ate dinner before i came here yeah it's like i'm i uh i went out for a really nice lunch with amanda and her mom and then i went to boxing so i've got all my punch energy i'm full of punch energy and then i had the leftovers of lunch for dinner um usually i'm like you, zeroing in on a hanger by the end of recording. Yeah, no, it's, uh, I feel real chill.

It might be too chill today. I've been like relaxing. I ate a lot of pasta before I came here. Had a nice slow cycle because there wasn't really that many cars in the road. Although one idiot tried to kill me because she was on her phone. Uh, do you want to go first i will because we're idiots and we forgot to answer one of our biggest contributors questions okay all right well this is the third this is shit we didn't cheers oh fuck well we're too chill i know also we're a dating and sex advice podcast,

as I'm probably sure you figured out by that introduction, where we take your sticky sexy situations and turn them into slightly sticky sexy situations. Yeah, today it's just so chill. Alright, hit me with that question. Okay. I recently slept with a fella that I've known for a while.

He's very sweet, and I'd say we're a little more than acquaintances. After we had sex, he offered to make me dinner and take me places and do things with me it's all very nice but something i'm not interested in i enjoy being single and as lovely as he is i'm not interested in pursuing anything with him i'm typically a very blunt person and that can either come off as refreshing refreshingly honest or rude he's a sensitive dude that i know i see quite often how do i nicely tell him i'm uninterested in anything other than sex? It's not a hard thing. I think it's very important that you be blunt. And you can do it in a fun way. You know what I mean? The next time he offers to take you somewhere or do something, you can just be like, hey, I really appreciate it. And that sounds like a really good time.

But I'm afraid that if we do those things, you'll get the wrong idea. And I really appreciate it. And that sounds like a really good time. But I'm afraid that if we do those things, you'll get the wrong idea. And I really just want to keep this a sexual relationship. And I'm really sorry if you want something else because I don't. And if you are looking for something more, then perhaps we part ways. And, like, I don't think it's ever a bad thing to be like you know you're great like this isn't uh you know me like it's not because of you i'm not doing i'm just like not that space like i'm not looking for relationship however sex is pretty great yeah am i right and he'll probably be like yeah sex is pretty great and then you guys are good yeah i think being being straight up and

honest like you know don't like being blunt is cool like being honest is cool being blunt is like you're not taking the time to yeah think about how you're saying it delivery is like i only want to fuck you yeah like put a little bit of empathy in it like make sure you kind of understand what they might be feeling or like how you might offend them but like i think honesty is like the way to at least hurt somebody yeah i mean like other than like obviously don't call him sensitive but like the way you described him yeah um but the way you described him to to us is a great way you know i mean like i i really enjoy you i really like hanging out like i like fucking you um and i would prefer to just keep it

at that and it's like i'm we're you know and and if that's not what you're looking for, it's time to move on. Because, like, the alternative is you don't address it because you think he might want something more. Every time you bail on him, he's going to get more sad. It's not even that. It's more like. It is also that. It is that. But it's going to be like, it's going to be one of those things that you it gets to a point where

you can't address it anymore so then you don't address it and then it's just that elephant in the room where like you think he or he thinks that like this is going to be something that progresses and you don't want it to progress but you don't you've you've left so long uh to actually like bring it up yeah you mentioned your intentions that like you would kind of seem like a dick if you were just like oh hey by the way or he might not even feel that way at all like sometimes people just like to you know because you guys are friends and maybe he'd be doing that whether you guys are fucking or not like it could be that he doesn't want it to go further which is i think maybe worse if you have that impression in your head but it's not actually

even legit that's yeah it's always you don't know if you have that impression in your head, but it's not actually even legit. Yeah, it's always good to have that chat about being like, what are we? Never fucking. No, but like looking, you know, figuring out what people's intentions are. Or at least putting your hand on the table and being like, I'm not looking to date anyone. Really just want to have sex with you. You know, that's where I'm at right now. Because, let me flip it around here and say, if you guys are both on that page, there is nothing wrong with, like, fucking and then going to get sushi or something like that.

That's another thing. Sometimes that can be the best. That makes sense really cool. Yeah. It's really awesome when you can, like, you get to, like like become a really good friend with the person you're having sex with. Because let me tell you, the sex is only going to get better. Exactly. And there's a little less of that weight.

Like you will feel, there's always that sort of like, that feel of being used. Even if you're like on the same page, there's always that sort of like emptiness that comes with. Or even the like worry about seeming like you're using, like on either side, like there's that, do I just get up and leave now? Like,

do I have to like stay around and do small talk? Like what, what, at what point do I just kind of dip out? And when, when you haven't really established those kind of like, you know, boundaries,

that becomes really hard. If you guys are chill to the point where he's like, Hey, you want to go to sushi? And you're like, yep. Or, Oh, I actually am busy, but yeah, it's like, Oh no, actually I guys are chill to the point where he's like hey you all going sushi and you're like yep or oh actually i'm busy but yeah it's like oh no actually i just want to go home and it's like as long as you guys are cool and you guys have like are on that like that level yeah it's great if you're just like pretty much the best no actually i'm like i'm just gonna go home and watch a movie yeah and it's like all right cool take it easy yeah i'm gonna go get sushi yeah see it or i'm gonna order sushi you know what i mean like it's it can be really good both ways also then you get to go fuck take a nice break resupply

and fuck again yeah as opposed to like if you want to fuck twice then you're just gonna sit there for like yeah awkward you gotta you gotta wait you're all recharge just scrolling yeah nah it's it's a good time it's a real good time if you if you can get on board with that i think we've talked about it before where it's like just because you're having sex with someone doesn't mean and you're only looking for a sexual relationship doesn't mean that the only time you get to see that or have to see that person is in bed it also doesn't mean like you can't be friendly and close yeah you know like you can have a really close awesome relationship and still only fuck someone

and never date them. Yeah. Like, and it's the best way to only fuck someone. Yeah, 100%. Is to be also super close with them. That's the best. Yeah. It's literally, like, the best of both worlds.

And, yes, it's, you know, it's a slope that could lead to someone, you know, hashtag catch feelings. Yeah. And that's a risk, but, like, at the same time, once you guys are open, then when it does arise or when it starts to arise, no one's going to feel afraid about being open about it. Exactly. Fuck it. If you fostered this sort of relationship, that's you're not scared to like fundamentally

rooted in just being completely open and honest and constantly communicating with one another. You're, you're going to be okay. Because like when those feelings come up another you're you're gonna be okay because like when those feelings come up like hopefully you won't be scared and you'll be like hey just so you know like i'm actually starting to develop some feelings for you so like maybe we'll scale it back or uh or what do you think yeah or where are you yeah like because it might be one of those things where you're just like okay yeah and and you re-tailor the parameters of your relationship and doesn't necessarily mean you become exclusive it could just mean like okay we're our main we're our main booze um and then like if you if you want to our podcast should be called main booze main booze

yeah um yeah and if you want to like then see other people on the side that's fine um or if you want to become exclusive like there's yeah there's no keep it keep it open and that i think that's like the best way you know 2019 man there isn't just two options there isn't single and dating yeah you know what i mean like there's there's so much gray area that we can play in and it's becoming far more socially acceptable and people are willing to try things that originally weren't. He's talking about anal. Yeah. Hashtag play in the gray. Yeah, people are willing to try things that they weren't, like, you know.

Societally allowed. Ten years ago, I would not have been down for, like, open relationships or polyamory or any of that kind of stuff. You were also 11 years old ten years ago. I was not. I was 21. He's lying. Again.

All right. You ready? ready yeah let's do it um this comes from user captain duck girlfriend of seven years she's a 24 year old female vicariously lives through youtube couple vlogs uh so as i mentioned in the title my girlfriend of seven years vicariously lives through these youtube couples uh she watches every day for hours it was never a problem before until she started to juxtapose our relationship to theirs My girlfriend of seven years vicariously lives through these YouTube couples. She watches every day for hours. It was never a problem before until she started to juxtapose our relationship to theirs. She compares how I treat her to how the couples treat each other in their vlogs. Whenever we get into arguments, she'll just walk away and binge watch these couples for hours. I feel like these couples promote an idealized relationship that is seriously impossible to maintain in reality. But my girlfriend tries to hold me to these standards when she herself doesn't even do it.

And I honestly feel like it's killing our relationship. I haven't talked to her about it because all she does is tell me how bad I treat her. I'm sorry, man, I'm really trying to make this work. But it makes me feel incompetent as fuck. I feel like I'm not good enough for what she expects anymore. Well, two main things there. One, like you have to realize that that is not reality yeah like that just flat out is not reality that's like looking at someone's instagram or

facebook or any social media it's it's so tailored yeah no one's like taking a picture their fucking diarrhea and being like well i'm ill as fuck but they are taking a picture i'm sure there's an instagram you know what i mean um like everybody knows this it's all tailored it's all like and also especially with this like with a series that they want you to come back like it's they're almost making a show for you also you're seeing like i'm assuming these these vlogs are probably anywhere from like 5 to 20 minutes you know what i mean i don't know um but also like you're seeing literally a fraction of them where they're on and playing a persona because i'm telling you right now they're playing a fucking persona even if they're very very similar to who they are as people yeah there's still that that facade of like the camera is on yeah they're not gonna not

self-edit they're not gonna be unaware that people they don't know are watching them and like and no one's gonna be like we're a great couple but we fight all the time because i'm telling you right now they fight all the time and if they were fighting and it became time to vlog guess what they're probably both gonna like buck up and pretend they're not and then fight again after like and the fact that she doesn't realize this is a major red flag but secondly the fact that despite thinking this all is real and expecting it from you she refuses to do the same back i mean she's a massive hypocrite and that in my sense is way worse because she don't give a fuck yeah it's it's something that like he specifically says that he hasn't brought it up but like you gotta bring it up yeah there

are two things you have to do you have one you have to bring it up and be like hey you need to understand that like you're holding me to these standards that like what if i was on instagram and i followed you know gal gadot or you know some obsessed with her i know uh or like you know some famous very attractive or if you were hollywood celebrity standards while you fucked yeah you know exactly if you if you were holding people to porn standards while you fucked. Yeah. You know what I mean? Exactly. If you watch porn for hours on day or days hours hours on end

hours on end and then we're like oh well you know this certain porn star has a bigger ass and you're not doing squats or you know

whatever or you're not Why don't you let me tie you to a fence and blow you know why don't we have a penthouse apartment with a dick couch?

Yeah. Damn. I'll watch your apartment. Yeah, you got specific taste. I really want to look up dick couch now because you know there's one. Oh, I'm pretty sure it's that one in fucking Amsterdam. Isn't there a big dick couch? There's a dick chair.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's of ourselves yeah you need to be like look I love you this is great however you do need to realize this is not real this is entertainment you are consuming entertainment that people are producing

with a very specific purpose of making people want to come back and watch more and also the whole point is you're meant to yearn after their life. If their life was either the same as yours, like, if it was the same as yours, why would you watch it? You'd be like, oh, okay. She's got diarrhea again. She's just sitting on a dick couch. Like, whatevs. She knows she's lactose intolerant.

Why does she eat that pizza? Oh, she's struggling to pay rent and she's not really happy with her job. Oh, she's yelling at her boyfriend because she's comparing him to a vlog. Vlog. Again. Vlog. she's not really happy with her job oh she's yelling at her boyfriend because she's comparing to a vlog vlog again vlog yeah like that would be bullshit so they need to give you this like rose-tinted possibility of life that yeah that you yearn for because that's why you're coming back it's like why we watch tv shows it's like superheroes and fucking extreme scandals literally all this bullshit any fucking reality show yeah oh yeah that's imagine if the bachelor was just like you know dumpy dudes they're also fucking scripted so it's like to drop that bombshell on you yeah it's uh we dumb ruined

your tuesday if you're listening late it's it's just you just gotta understand that like yeah you have to you really have to address it and again if if she's then going to be like no this is how we should be it's like okay well then I'm not the one for you yeah you're gonna have to find someone out there insane enough that they think those are real who is who is also so absolutely obsessed with appearances that they are going to falsify their life enough for you. Yeah. And if that's what she wants, it sucks.

It's a super unhealthy decision, but you can't fall in that rabbit hole with her. Get the fuck out of there. Yeah. Like you can't live a life of like insanity. And that seems insane. Yeah. I mean,

it's, it's one of those, if she's not willing to change, if she's expecting you to, you know, fucking magical, raise this, she won't even realize that what she's watching isn't real life.

Then yeah, you need to go. You'll have to be like, I'm sorry. I'm clearly not the one. And it sucks. It's seven year relationship, but I mean,

it's, but Hey, sometimes that can be great. Freshly on life. Yeah. Yeah. you like so you'll have to like yes she's 24 yeah y'all y'all dated young yeah so um there's yeah she needs a shot of realism in her life yeah and it's and it's yeah you've you've got it like yeah make the effort to save your relationship. Make the effort to, you know, make it clear. But then also, you also have to understand that, like, your mental health is also very important. And if you've reached the point where the only way to save the relationship is to take a huge detriment to your personal life and safety and mental health, then you have to understand that that's not worth it.

That's not. And you can't be held to these false standards yeah that's not like watching gossip girl i mean like whoa why didn't you do that yeah it's like watching literally any entertainment and being upset that it your life doesn't emulate exactly and if you turn that back on her people will be called like you know what i mean if you look at it in any other sense it would be fucking insane i think it's because it's presented to you as this realistic thing and as these real people that you then feel. Yeah. I mean, again, if you followed a fitness model and then measured her every day, it'd be fucking

crazy. You only have a four pack. She's got six. Fuck, she's got eight. Look at how small her waist is. Yeah. You're like four inches bigger than six. Yeah. Fuck, she's got eight. Look at how small her waist is. Yeah. You're like four inches bigger than her. Yeah.

Or like this guy, every time he's on fucking Instagram, his girlfriend is just pouring him champagne in the background or bringing him food while he lounges by the pool. Yeah. Why aren't you doing that? Why aren't you doing that? Yeah. Where's my food and my champagne whenever I want it? Yeah.

That's a pretty nice thing. But what if she is watching a very boring vlog and he just sucks and she's like what why don't you let me sleep in our bed why don't you let me sleep in our bed ever he's taking the garbage out yeah i just he's peeing in the toilet why won't you look they're they're having a meal together and she didn't have to pay him for it. Look, he hasn't covered her in paint in hours. Hold still. Look, he puts his cigarette out on an ashtray.

Yeah. I mean, yes, that could be a very hopefully not true. You're not perfect, bud. All right, hit me with a new one. Okay. Okay. I got a few real weird ones this week. Okay, well, this is from AskRed at After Dark. Oh.

My friend wants to jack me off. Like, just a casual experience to just see. We're not gay. Should I let him? It's always so weird that people are so quick to be like, we're not gay. And I'm not even going to be like, if you let a dude jack you off, you not gay. Should I let him? It's always so weird that people are so quick to be like, we're not gay. And I'm not even going to be like, if you let a dude jack you off, you're gay. It doesn't even matter.

Well, firstly, there is no gay and straight. It's a sliding scale. Like, if you want this dude to jack you off, if this experience sounds fun, then fucking do it. That is literally the answer. Yeah. That is the answer. But also, I'm guessing you do want to because you went to the internet yeah you want to you feel like you shouldn't see you went so some stranger can tell you it's cool yeah and you probably went to the wrong place because the internet's probably

gonna tell say no but i don't know red it's pretty liberal but hey here's two guys on the internet right now saying like yeah if you want to do it fucking do it no one's gonna give a shit yeah i mean like unless you live in a super rural sort of scary unless you're gay people and you think this is like from a secret party at which point don't put yourself in danger yeah but like if you want to why not yeah if you don't then don't yeah consent is a beautiful lovely thing and that if everyone's on board with it you don't then don't yeah consent is a beautiful lovely thing and that if everyone's on board with it you don't need to worry about the label of what sexuality you fall under because they could be literally the one and only time a dude will ever touch your dick yeah maybe you'll

do it and like not for me you don't have to worry you don't have like it's not a question that should keep you up at night and being like am i gay yeah if you are you are if you're not you're not like or actually no that's completely opposite what i'm saying but you know what i mean like if it's an issue it wouldn't be an issue yeah i mean like if you're a gay man you're a gay man yeah if you if you want dudes to every now and then jack you off then you're whatever that may be maybe you're bisexual maybe you know what i mean you're pansexual or whatever just don't give a fuck and that's beautiful. Yeah. Like, it doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter. So, if you want this dude to jerk you off, just let him jerk you off.

But also don't do it if you don't want to. But if you don't want to do it, don't do it. If you feel like you'll be seen as homophobic or you feel like you're doing it kind of for them, like... The only reason to be apprehensive about this is for your own safety if you think that if you think that like oh maybe he's gonna like go and then tell everyone and that's gonna like fuck your life up then don't do it yeah like if you live in some backwards piece of shit place yeah exactly where like oh you're gonna lose your job or maybe you'll be like followed out of a convenience store and beaten to death like yes don't, don't do it. I got real grim. I know.

But yeah, like, so obviously safety first, but if you want to do it, do it. Yeah. That was easy. Cool. This comes from user sisters, the dash rapist. I'm assuming it's supposed to be sisters therapists, but like a weird. Well, I know it was a question about him being assaulted by men. The user sister.

Would you like it if your partner immediately ums at your pants when you haven't seen them in a while? This guy I'm seeing has been away for a while. We had sex already before he left. He likes when I tell him that I miss his dick. He can be insecure about his size, although I love it. I'm seeing him soon, after more than a month apart. I'm going to spend the night at his place. Do you think he would find it sexy if i briefly hugged him and then immediately unzipped his pants to suck his dick it sounds pretty hot in theory but i don't know what it would translate into in real life would you like

it if your partner did that disclaimer i know it's highly individual just want to get some male perspective even though it's not identical to his yes you'd be okay with it yeah but here so yes i think i would be as well obviously there's there's context, like, are you... I think you would need a step in between. Just to sort of, like, you know, when you're happy to see someone, you're not necessarily in a very sexual mood. You know what I mean? Depends who you're seeing.

I know, but, like... Also, like, imagine it this way. She's going over to spend the night. They're clearly not very close, but they have fucked. So I'm pretty sure the entire goal of the night is to fuck. Absolutely. So you're probably going, hell yeah, they're going to come. We're going to fuck.

Yeah. So I'll literally, all I'm saying is like maybe a hand on the pants, like to like give a hug and then just drop to your knees. I think it's, I think that's a very very jarring i think that could get in your head if it's literal well okay i i can kind of see where you're coming from if you if it's that sudden and you're not expecting it and you haven't gotten worked up you're probably not hard yet at which point if she starts going for it you're not hard exactly at which point you're going to be thinking oh no i'm not hard and then you're not going to be hard yeah especially if you're upset about your size

then you're going to be the smallest you can be apart from being in freezing cold water exactly so it's going to be even worse so what i'm saying is like maybe just whisper in his ear he likes it when you say that you missed his dick so whisper in your ear and be like you know put your hands down his pants or put your hands like you know on, on his crotch and say, I've missed your dick. Yeah. And that right there, you've opened the door. And if he's not quite ready or if he's uncomfortable, you'll know.

You'll pick up the sign. He'll take a step back or whatever. But like, chances are, he's going to get rock hard immediately with like an approach. And then you're like, you've gotten the okay. Get down there and start sucking. That's fine. And then. Yeah. Then you like you've gotten the okay. Get down there and start sucking. That's fine.

Or. Spade work. If you tell him you're going to show up and you're going to get on your knees. Well, I think that kind of. I think that sort of defeats the surprise. Yeah, but she's going. It also kind of defeats the surprise if you have to like build up to it and even then it's like you know does this person is she gonna give him enough time to fully appreciate it or is she just gonna say you said and then go back down there immediately they're both two ways to do it one yeah the surprise is great the other one the anticipation

is great well that's i think so i think even if you're just like keep it vague and be like can't wait to suck your dick if you just hit him with that like five minutes before or like you know what i mean like anything anything like that because then that that sort of like wow factor of you just being like going right for it it's still going to be there yeah you haven't you haven't initiated you've told him that you're really looking forward to sucking his dick but like a lot of guys will probably assume that like you're gonna catch up you're gonna chat maybe have a drink you'll cuddle from foreplay but if you're just going right he's gonna be like oh fuck yeah hell yeah but you've still i still think that door you know what i mean like that door needs to be open oh yeah i do think

so either build up to it a teensy bit yeah so you don't catch him by surprise like in a bad way exactly or literally flat out tell them what you're going to do and build that anticipation. Yeah, you're right. I don't think just boom. Yeah, I don't think like a hug and be like, hey, it's really good to see you. Because you're going from like a very friendly

and a very sentimental and a very sort of like really nice place to be like, I really missed you so much. And then you're switching into I'm a horny sex freak and you're it's yeah it's such a jump that like as much as we love women who have like the full spectrum of being super compassionate and sentimental and also being a freak in the sheets um it's it's it's a sliding scale. You know what I mean? And you can't, to go from zero to 60 is going to jar, like it's going to be a jerk for anyone. Yeah. What?

Yeah. So it can work out, but there is a possibility for it not to. Yeah. Um, so yeah, just open that door a little bit. You know what I mean?

Like preheat the oven. Yeah. Also like, he's probably not going to know where you guys are at. If you haven't seen each other in so long, like for all he knows, you come over and you're like, hey, just heads up. I have a boyfriend, but still want to hang out.

Like, do you mind? Whatever. So, like, there's always going to be that tentativeness. Yeah, that text five minutes before you get there or that whisper in the ear. Or what if he's bringing you over to say, I have chlamydia? You've got to give him time to shut down that sexy. That's what I'm saying. What if he's like, hey, I just want to let you know I just found out i tested for chlamydia yeah oops yeah maybe maybe he's like or he started seeing

someone yeah or you know there's any number or what if he just got back from the gym and he's worried he has a sweaty dick and he doesn't want you just popping it right in like oh yeah you gotta give him the teeniest bit of warning at the very least you've got to give him the the chance to say no yeah before it becomes too awkward or a bigger deal um i feel like that's fair all right hit me yeah this is by user joker's red ace since they have a strap on dick do they have a strap-on version of a virginia i don't think they, I think they have like, um, the Ohio, they have, they have, they have most of the Midwest. I don't know if they've gotten the Virginia yet. So obviously that's a spelling error.

Uh, do they have a strap on version of a vagina? I think, I think think the probably the closest thing you'd get would be like some sort of like attached fleshlight what's the point i'm i don't know like i'm assuming you have a butt yeah but not everyone wants to be penetrated this is like but then what's the point for the person who's wearing the strap on vagina? Probably nothing. But sometimes people are fine with just, you know? Yeah,

no, it's just for me. I also like the trouble. There's like, there's a, uh, a logistical problem with the strap on vagina because they need to go somewhere. Yeah.

So you can't just like put on a pair of underwear that has a fake vagina on it because like they're still. So it would have to like go in your undercarriage at the point you're like. Yeah. You're in the way of your pluribus though. The only thing I can think that it would be useful is like for doggy style and it would like strap on sort of underneath your situation.

Yeah. I don't know. As far as I've seen, there is not one. But again, there's probably a holster for a flashlight. Yeah. Or you could probably just duct tape it to somebody. Yeah, or a couple belts. A couple belts.

Yeah, that works. Yeah, I'm sure there is. Yeah. And that's my answer. It's fair. Yeah, no, I just saw that and thought it was really funny. Do you have another one? Where do you want me to go?

Probably as bad if not worse oh god you ready yep and again i saw this and i just kind of was uh surprised if violet invisigirl from the incredibles has sex assuming she's of consenting age would you be able to see his dick through her if she goes invisible or would the penis also be invisible by user state 98 oh because yeah because you can see through her yes but you also don't see like what's in her yeah you don't see like her insides or if she like ate a candy yeah you wouldn't see the candy so i think it would be i think it's like an occlusion field i think yeah you would see the tip of the dick but once it's inside of her

yeah i don't think you feel like it's being blocked by the invisibleness yeah because like how would her powers know what what's meant to be invisible exactly but also like if she ate food you'll just see like a banana floating around yeah or like soup that'd be real i'm sure i'm sure there's a scene in the incredible one of the incredibles where she goes invisible and like pops a candy or something or like takes a bite of an apple or you know what i mean like you see like something float and like a crunch come out of it and then no floating digesting yeah um imagine if your power was to go invisible but you still see all your organs and like digestion they'll be fucking fascinating so just your skin goes

invisible as your skin and muscles they'll be horrible imagine if it was imagine if it was just your skin yeah so literally you're still 100 visible just terrifying that would be kind of really funny i mean it would be a certain it would be effective to a certain degree if you chose like a scarecrow style like i mean i don't think you'd be a hero but like if you had like a a gas that like made you hallucinate and you were just like a skin man yeah but also it's like you'd have to be able to fight because people would probably immediately attack you out of fear oh 100 yeah if i saw that yeah yeah some fucking skin walkie boy was just coming at me yeah you better believe i'd attack him yeah these are my wonderful questions cool um i have a really long one but thankfully you do he's included a tldr okay and i'm gonna

i'm gonna throw in a few of the stuff yeah you can read i'm sure it's we got this guy who'll edit the boring parts out it's really long um i just don't want to read it because I'm also lazy. Sure. This comes from Reddit user EnvironmentalEase0. My wife, 25, let her idiot friend, 28, Oh, is this the rifle one? negligently discharge one of my rifles. I'm angry with both of them,

and my wife is acting like I'm being unreasonable. I thought she was going to bring that one. Yeah, so the TLDR is, um, my wife pulled out one of my rifles without my permission, gave it to her friend who then fired it negligently. Um, I'm super pissed and my wife is pissed that I'm pissed and it's all a mess now help. So a little bit more detail is like he was out of the house and, uh, his wife and and his her friend were like talking about how they were gonna go hunting or like the friend's husband was gonna take him hunting um and the wife was like i'll show you how to like do a how the rifles work yeah like the the husband had been teaching

the wife how to use a rifle and which is why she's somewhat familiar with them but at the same time like i don't know if you've ever been around guns or gun users they're very like they're terrifying instruments like you oh absolutely if you're a dumbass or if you're even just clumsy or whatever like there are there are rules so uh you never point the gun at anybody no uh even if you literally know it's unloaded and you have literally unloaded it and it's not even anything because there could be around the chamber there could be whatever whatever. So it's like, you don't want to have a fucking risk. You just fucking like, so for like, yeah.

So you got to be careful with these things. And as a gun owner, if you're any way responsible, you know that because you have to. And he is. So like the other thing was like, he, he knew the gun wasn't loaded.

He kept the guns locked. He also kept his ammunition in a separate safe, also locked. So they had opened both. She had loaded the rifle, and then they shot it. Indoors, into the ground. They were sitting in their house, and they shot it into the ground in the backyard. No, they were in the barn where the guns were, and they shot it into the ground of the barn. Oh, fair enough.

But it's not indoors, indoors, but it's still. But also this friend is apparently a bit of a dumbass um either way he's upset because it was unsafe initially they lied to him as well and she said that it had already been loaded and they didn't whatever but then found upon him the ammo safe was also the ammo was unlocked yeah and the thing is like there's there's a bunch of anyway i'm not going to get into the like the specifics of gun safety um because i think everyone who knows anything knows this is fucking dumb as hell yeah um the the situation was that he confronted her and he was just like that's you like you know better than this because i taught you yeah um and i think you'd be understandably upset when you hear a gunshot on your property and run out you know what i mean like when no one's meant to be using the guns yeah right because he came out immediately because he

heard the gun discharge yeah um and i think things got a little bit heated but also like i feel like that's reasonable considering they're incredibly dangerous that has to have been a pretty big fright yeah her her complaint was that he she he's treating her like her dad he was being like a dad like angry well he was like you can't touch the guns yeah anymore which they're his guns firstly which not only in general has like proprietary like status like he owns them they're his property he can say that if he wants but secondly legally if something happens those guns like if a dead woman shows up shot by one of his guns well exactly if if that friend shot his wife you know i mean like that's his gun killed her yeah and like liability aside i don't know if there'd even be like you know

suspicion on him oh yeah exactly um so the he was he was like uh well i didn't really you know the bedside manner there wasn't good because he was pissed. And scared. Yeah, exactly. And it's like, that bullet could have ricocheted off anything. You know what I mean? You're in a fucking bar filled with, I'm assuming, probably metal tools of shovels and shit. If she accidentally fired that gun off into anything, it could have ricocheted off anything.

It could have gone through the wood and hit something in the woods you know what i mean like i don't know the property size walking to the barn to see what they were doing there's like any number of things that could have happened and ended in death yeah worst case scenario no i feel like he is completely in the right yeah and it's like cool and he in the moment maybe he probably didn't you know choose his words correctly but also fuck it you you have to also understand the gravity of the situation you understand that like there's a certain amount of fear and anger that comes in and like that can't really be tailored the he was concerned that like now they're avoiding each other and she's super pissed at him. And he was trying to figure out how to address the subject without seeming paternal and, like, treating her like a child. Yeah.

And I think, and, like, why, he also didn't understand why she was so mad that he was mad. And I think I have an answer to that. And it's because she's embarrassed. Yeah. She's embarrassed for two ways. One, she probably realized she did something stupid secondly she's probably embarrassed at what her friend saw because her friend clearly doesn't understand yeah gun guns and gun safety and all that shit so for her she was probably

trying to be cool and be like look i i know rifles i know guns like look at my new thing i've learned with my husband and then he came in yelled at them took the guns away locked it up and probably made her look kind of dumb in front of her friend yeah um and also she probably knows she fucked up to such a big degree at this point it's like hard to you know any adult any adult who like knows better like if i did something fucking stupid um like say i leave the oven on and burn the fucking house down. You know what I mean? And Amanda gets mad at me because of it. I'm, I'm going to get defensive. You know what I mean? Like I, you know what I mean? Like there's,

there's that initial of being like, well, I'm like, I'm no, I'm sorry. I fucked up. Like, yeah. It's like, I obviously didn't do it on purpose you know what I mean it's like there's that sort of thing and like well there's there's that sort of like initial reaction of being like obviously I fucked up yeah you know what I mean and then like the longer it goes the sort of like it turns from you being like oh I'm fucking idiot to being like yeah I get it you know what I mean and it's like that but some people don't have that I get it no I mean that's why i'm like making faces when you said that because i don't see you as especially for something that serious no i know i'm just i know you're throwing out hypotheticals but like i i'm sure you've dated people like this i definitely have people who like the more in the wrong they are the more they double down on yeah the like petulance almost because they never want to face it whereas like

i get what you're saying like sometimes in the heat of the moment you may be like well whatever but then afterwards like okay yeah sorry i you're right because it is like kind of that human nature like i'm gonna wager that this is a matter of both of them are very proud and neither one of them is willing to go over and be like hey i lost my cool or the wife say hey i fucked up yeah you know what i mean and that kind of that's like that's what you need to do and despite the fact that this guy i think is 100 in the right to have gotten upset and and to have been angry sometimes you have to be the bigger person or sometimes you just have to take the first step and go in and be like hey i'm really sorry that I treated you like a child in front of your friend.

And I'm really sorry that I talked down to you like that and was condescending to you. But you have to understand that I was scared for you because that could have you could have died. Yeah. And I don't want you to die. That's 100 percent it. Like, again, it's hard to tell how dramatic the conflagration was considering we weren't there. Yeah. And it was from his point of view.

If you went overboard, 100% apologize. You know, you don't have to take back the message, but you can definitely take back or try to apologize for the delivery. Yes. Explain why that happened. You were terrified. Yeah. Explain why you were terrified, which is her possible death your liability your possible you know like legally speaking you were in trouble like emotionally speaking she could have died

like her friend like doesn't think you hear a gunshot on your property it's like gunshots rarely mean nothing so it's like he could have had a gun somewhere else and come out like it could have been a fucking disaster yeah imagine he thought someone else was like the thing is jesus if that was my situation and i hear a gunshot on my property i'm walking to that gunshot expecting to see something dead i'm running or very injured oh the worst case scenario is flashing through your head yeah so for that 20 seconds it took him to get to the barn you were probably dead yeah he probably saw your stupid friend like in a corner crying while you were bleeding out on the barn floor yeah like that's probably what he saw and it's like and i think if you explain that and just be like look i'm sorry i yelled at you and i'm sorry that i like you said i'm sorry that i

delivered my message that way but here's the reason why let's sit down and talk about this and make sure that it never happens again because i love you and again i don't want you to die yeah and and i think that opens like you've expressed your humility you know what i mean and hopefully she will be like i totally get it i was scared i fucked up and that's the thing i'm sure and i understand i understand your point and hopefully you guys are mature enough and love each other enough to like come to that sort of peaceful conclusion. But you definitely need to like you need to like you need to go in on a very whichever one of you is listening because I'm sure one of you are. And be the person to bridge that gap. Like your pride isn't worth your relationship or the misery you're going to be in living together for however many hours or days this silence stretches like that

sucks like yeah nothing is worse than that so just go and be like hey let's talk yeah like suck it up um one thing i did see in the comments that was really interesting is people recommend you having a third party come to teach some gun awareness things which i think is good because i think you're not going to be thinking of it in a personal sense you know i mean it's not just like this is dave thinks this or dave thinks that yeah that's like a professional fucking like gun instructor i'm sure that's what they're called um is like hey this is x this is y like you're 100 you can never do yeah it's like if you actually go to like you know the the gun rifle club or whatever, you know what I mean? Like the shooting club or the gun range or whatever service.

Gun rifle club. Gun rifle club. And, you know, there's a fucking test at the end of it in order to get your gun handling certificate or whatever. And it's like, yeah, I think you will. I think it's absolutely a super useful thing. Yeah. On this topic vaguely, there was a gang in ireland a while ago and the leader of this gang who was like i don't know the exact story i think he either wanted his

gang to be more impressive and proficient or he was upset at their kind of lack of talent with regards to guns which are not a very big issue in ireland at all but either way he decided to gather his guys in a room and give them like a demo on how to like disassemble your gun and reassemble it and like whatever and in the middle of this thing which was on video he put the unloaded gun to his head and was like then there won't be anything in the round clicked it shot himself in the head and killed himself so that's why you never point a gun at your head, even if you are specifically doing a safety. That's how Brandon Lee died. Who knows who that is?

Everyone knows who Brandon Lee is. Nobody's ever heard of this person. It's Bruce Lee's son! Okay. He's not old enough to have a son. Bruce Lee? Yeah, he's like seven. The famous chess player? Fuck you. This is by OpposableApples1.

How to cuddle? Not really. NSFW. Not so overworked. Recently my first actual relationship with a girl. I got no idea what I'm doing. How do I go to hold her hand? Like just reach for it or something else?

Is it acceptable to sit with my arm across her back slash shoulders? How the hell do i cuddle i don't even know how to answer that cuddling should just come natural comfortable sorry cuddling is never natural i think we they're hot your arms going dead well i'm not saying comfortable yes sir i'm saying that like we cuddle when we're kids. Like one of the first things we do when we're born is we're put in a cuddle position on our mother's chest because it's like one of the most important things for babies to experience. Well, this person is clearly overthinking things if he's worried about holding hands. Yeah. So first one, how do you go about holding someone's hand?

Yeah, you just reach down and hold their hand. You reach down and hold their hand. There is no play. There is no like is no like yeah there's no like you don't like walk your fingers down her forearm and then sort of like flick one of the fingers up and like weasel your hand no what you do is you you get a little dab of honey and you secretly get it on her hand without her noticing which is the hard part so i know the old hand. Then you wait for a fly to be attracted by the honey and land on her hand and then you go to swipe it off

and you accidentally hold it. And then... Your hand's so sticky. Exactly. I can't... Oh no. Then the honey sticks you in place. And no other thing works.

If you just reach for it she'll be freaked out. So here's what I would suggest for your cuddle maneuver. Oh, wait. We've got to go to question two. Okay. Cuddle's the third one.

Is it acceptable to sit with my arm across her back slash shoulders? I assume he just means like have his arm around her? Mm-hmm. Yes. I mean, it depends on where you are. It is never acceptable. What? I'm joking.

Oh. Yeah. I mean, don't do it. I'm taking the piss. Like, obviously, I figured. Don't do it in class. I knew that. I'm assuming this kid is in high school. Oh. Yeah. I mean, don't do it. I'm taking the piss. Like, obviously, I figured. Don't do it in class. I knew that. I'm assuming this kid is in high school.

You never know. But yeah, like, don't do it in places where, my thing is like, if you'd feel weird kissing them, like, keep your PDA to yourself. Yeah. And also, everyone has their own individual levels. I'm sure you have yours and they have theirs. And that's another thing I was going to add at the end when we weren't doing funny things but i guess we stopped the funny things um everyone has their own like sometimes people don't like their hands held at

all yeah sometimes they do all the time you know what i mean like literally all the time all the time um so it's up to you to figure out um and you do that by cues. Like if you reach for someone's hand and they kind of like shrug it away. And you can always ask and clarify if you feel like you're overdoing it or underdoing it. You know what I mean? Yeah. They also have agency in this and they'll probably hold your hand or put an arm around you at some point. And that's my point for the cuddle is just lie flat on your back, have your arms out and just say, come here. Yeah, like middle of the street.

She'll figure it out. She'll wiggle her way self into a cuddle position. Like, you're new to dating women, obviously, as you say in this question. You don't get a choice on how to cuddle. They will just wrap themselves around you like angry sloths. Yeah, they will. They'll pin you down and cuddle the shit out of you. Yeah, you think.

I know we talked about agency. Yeah, but you think you have a choice you don't have a choice here oh my god uh you ever share a bed with them hey guess what you get what they give you yeah you're gonna be entangled in limbs yeah you want one foot of bed you're lucky you get that yeah no you're gonna be hanging off you'll be sweating you're gonna be trying to tear them off you while they sleep with a contented smile and an iron grip yeah yeah you're fucked and also like enjoy your freedom while most women are always complaining they're cold except when they fucking cuddle you and then they're just like their furnaces hey i'm gonna turn on my super heat powers turn that on before and we wouldn't need the cuddle maybe just

do that when you're fucking wearing a blanket when it's 30 degrees outside yeah it'll it'll work you know I mean do what feels comfy for you um try try be careful about that arm going numb because that can yeah spooning takes a while you'll figure it out everyone's got their tricks yeah for there'll be a long time where you'll probably suffer through a good 20 30 minutes of you would like the arm behind your back like dying on the bed or the arm under dying on the bed crook of the neck it's always good you got a little bit of wiggle room there honestly i don't do the i don't do the under the anymore i put my my hand up use it as like they use as a pillow the back no i use it as a

pillow but like they'd be there no you put it up or like sometimes i'll put it under the pillow too okay yeah and like up and over their head yeah i can just sort of like sneak it on out that's fair i don't uh i don't do the hand or anything anymore because i want it it's my arm i think one of them get it one of the best web comics i ever saw was dealing with this exact question and it was two couples facing each other or like they're like yeah they're facing each other and like you know where the arm would usually go, like around them, like your right arm, their left arm. There was it then switched angles and there was a cutout under the bed and both arms were down playing rock'em sock'em robots against each other. They were like, this is how cuddling should be done.

Yeah. Bona Nakroin. Pardon? Bona Nakroin. Okay. A Reddit user. That's a thing. Asks, what does it really mean when Boomerang Man shows up six months later wanting to apologize?

When a man has already apologized to you, you break off contact for six months, and he requests to see you again to apologize. What does this mean? Have any of you ever done this? This is a man who is routinely in and out of my life that I care very much about. The good vibes only doctrine has not been working for me i spare you the deets so we need to we need to figure out right now when she says he's in and out of her life she also calls him boomerang man yeah is this a superman situation is she the lowest lane to boomerang 100 it's like this is the thing you really need to like she needs to step away from her life i guess and like put herself in his shoes when you're fighting crime you can't exactly be there all the time right like he's in deep

cover in fucking scarborough like taking down fucking drug rings with his boomerang and nothing else like you can't do that in the day i'm sorry that he can't be there for fucking cottage trip you're taking with your buds also like he's coming back he's doing it for you have you never seen any superhero movie ever why do you think they have secret identities yeah it's so that you're not a target of whatever nefarious villain he's fighting yeah and when it's safe he's there for you and that. Yeah, and when it's safe, he's there for you. And that's what counts. And when it's not safe, he's there for you, saving your ass. Exactly.

Also, like, he's a boomerang man. Like, he's shaped like a boomerang. You really think he's not going to... Is that his power? Yeah. He can throw himself like a boomerang? He comes in and out. Oh my god, that's so right.

Maybe stop throwing him away. Because he's just going to come back. He's going to come back. He doesn't have a choice. Every time I throw him out of my life, he just comes right back. It's in the name. My thing is... Hey, Boomerang Man, where the fuck's my apology?

Yeah. You know how many times I've been commuting and he's fucking tearing up the train tracks, fighting a villain? Yeah. Making me late for work never apologize for that smashing fucking windows with your goddamn boomerangs never apologize for that brief stunt as a bus driver where he kept short turning and going back yeah you know annoying it is to get halfway to where you're going before you just turn around

although to be fair like i can kind of see how hard it must be being him because that's his life. Yeah. Unless he's got a really strong friend. He has a very short radius of travel. Yeah. I mean, I think it's a little insensitive to expect Boomerang Man to stay put. Well, obviously. Because you're asking him to go against his nature. Yeah.

I don't tell immovable rock boy that he needs to come travel with me yes guess what no one's been able to chip through his hard exterior to get him to be mobile he's he's just rigidly stuck in the middle of downtown and like yeah he's he's there when i need smooches and good loving which is great you know and like that's amazing but i gotta appreciate him for who he is he's a lump of rock with a boy hat with one of those helicopter things on his, on his head. Um, and the boy movable rock is, he is of age.

He got the name when he was young. Don't worry. This isn't weird. I'm not going to make him move. Cause he never has. Yeah. Maybe you should apologize to boomerang man thank you um he wants to fuck and then he's gonna leave again that's it because he's a boomerang and you keep throwing him

next question um i do okay if we're gonna if we're gonna discuss this actually um i so i'm torn here because he he she says that the guy's already apologized yeah and then he wants to apologize again so like i i think i've mentioned before where i did like my karmic reset and i tried to approach everyone that i felt like i had wronged in my past and apologized to them yeah um if if if we took away the like already apologized thing i don't think i think it's worth giving people a chance. Sure. Depending on the nature of the hurt to apologize. And I'm not saying that for the sake of them, but it's also sort of nice for you. Yeah.

It might give you a little bit of closure and it might help you, you know, heal a wound that you might think that you've put a bandaid on, but hasn't fully healed. If it comes down to the fact where it just seems like they're trying to weasel their way into your life yeah you have to be strong enough to be like oh fuck you yeah and and moonwalk out of there um but i don't think there's anything you also don't owe anybody anything so if you actually don't want to then don't exactly yeah um but i think you're right it's either that it's either like a legitimate apology or, and I, it also, I guess depends on what happened and why.

That's the thing. If it's a really serious thing, if, if he's, you know, assaulted you or, or is abusive to you, fuck it. That, that apology doesn't mean anything. Yeah. But even if he's sincere about it, even if he's gone and got help and done therapy and has you know completely reorganized his entire life uh it's still like you you don't require him or you don't owe him the chance for redemption no um but also on the flip side if it's like he wasn't there or he was like a little

spacey and then he tells you like a relative has died or he's dealing with some health issues, you know, then yeah, maybe listen to the apology. Yeah. Again, just because you receive an apology doesn't mean you have to accept it. Nope. So you can hear him out. And even if you're just like, look, I don't want to meet up with you. If you want to apologize, you have my number, you have my email, you have my Facebook or

whatever. You have a means of contacting me. Hit me with with your apology and then we'll go from there and if it's not worth my time i'm not gonna respond to it and if it is worth my time maybe i'll respond to it again i don't owe you anything but if you if you want to give me an apology you can contact me yeah and if they require your kind of like input then no you don't owe them work to make their apology happen yeah like if you really don't want you can be like cool you message me or you can call me i'm not putting in effort just so you exactly like you're apologizing because you fucked up i'm not gonna put myself out so you can make yourself feel better if i don't mean enough for you you, or this whole thing doesn't mean enough that you can just message me or call me or do it on my schedule, then obviously it's not a real.

Yeah. Or if you think that like, oh, this is worth more than just an email. It's like, it's not. To me, it's not. Yeah. And you're apologizing to me. Yeah. So, uh, slide into them DMs.

Yeah. Because I ain't going anywhere. Slide out. Yeah. Into I ain't going anywhere. Slide out. Yeah. Into those NMs. No more. I'm going to wrap this boy up because I'm hot. I'm fucking sweating.

Thank you very much for listening. It's a hot one today, and I don't know if we're going to survive this, to be honest. We've got a few more minutes left, and I hope we've got the sweat in us to make it. I'm becoming Liquid Man. Mm-hmm. Boomerang Boy's friend. He's a boomerang man. Oh, sorry.

It was a moveable rock boy. A moveable rock boy. If you have a question for us, you can hit us up on Facebook at fckbuddiespodcast. You can find us on Twitter at fck underscore buddies. And you can also send us an email at F buddies podcast at gmail.com. Also, please, if you enjoy the podcast and you have an iPhone, please open up your, uh, Apple podcasts app and just hit us with a rating or a review or both. Um, if you're, if you're listening to this on an Apple phone or like an iPhone, you already opened up your app.

So just hit us with a review and hit us with a like, please, because it'll really help us out. Thank you. Tell a friend. Tell one friend. That's your homework for this week. Each of you, one friend. And it can't be a friend who introduced you because that's cheating. Or just post on Facebook or something and just be like, hey, guys, if you guys like podcasts, here's one that we listen to.

Yeah. Because we love you. And this will make us love you even more. Yeah, we want to keep doing this. We do. You know. We're going to be making some moves soon. Yeah, the more momenties we got.

The better. Thank you, Josh Eagle and the Harvard Cities for the song Paper Stars. All right, I'm going to get comfortable and you're going to hit me with some sex writing. All right. Well, this is... So unfortunately, we've stopped fucking bears. This is The World Was All Before Them by Matthew Reynolds.

In the dappled shadows, the bodies cling and thrust an arc and stretch. Toes splay. Arms prop shoulders from which a torso slopes. Two legs spring into the air. A head flaps from side to side. Fingers tense. Hips grip and ankles twine. Forehead bows to forehead and hair touches in the air as eyes look longingly into eyes. Thighs vie, lips, lips, lip, lips, lip, and, but damn, damn it, what was this? Anxiously, he began to get the impression that his vas deferens was initiating its rhythmic squeezing too soon, too soon,

but phew, she too seemed to be surfing the waves of neuromuscular euphoria, so that as, sweating, panting, he bowed his forehead to her chest, she gripped him tight, her sharp nails stabbing, and then they were grinning and kissing each other's noses, cheeks. Then they lay entangled for a moment, breathing. And then they rose, one after another, went for a piss, came back and settled into bed again. I mean, I like the ending. I like that because it's like the fun kind of not sexy because it injects like a little bit of realism. They're kind of cute and whatever.

But the rest, it sounds like... One, it sounds like the fucking monsters that we fought this week in pathfinder 100 just melted people yeah yeah um also i don't think the word vast deference should ever be used in any sort of sexual manner also like the irony of like describing this like involuntary like wild like sensation in such a stupidly slow clinical manner like he began to get like measure fucks from like honey I'm beginning to get the impression my bad deference is initiating its rhythmic squeak? No, he was like, he started to come. Also, let me just tell you right now, I have come a lot in my life. I've had a lot of orgasms in my life. I could probably not tell you a single time that I identified my vas deferens ever activating. I would imagine no one has.

If you have ever identified the activation of your vas deferens, call us. Yeah, please let me know. Yeah, no, it's... Although, next time I'm going to... Next time I'm about to come, I'm going to try to zero in on those bad boys. See what they're up to. This is the...

Yeah, it's the stupidest shit. All right. All right, we got... Hand me some Dan before I fucking pass out. Yeah, I'm going to... I could slide out the door and it's not even open right now. You just like slip through. Dan says, door and it's not even open right now. You just, like, slip through. Dan says, new post.

How to get your ex back. Long distance. Oh, shit, he's moving. She's moved away from him. Not even crossing continents can save you from Dan. There's nowhere you can go. Yeah, he'll find you. He is Nemesis.

And he'll get you back. He will. Thank you very much for find you. He is Nemesis. And he'll get you back. He will. Thank you very much for listening. My name is Dane Miller. And I am now Sweaty Boy Stain in Spain. Sweaty Boy Stain. Sweaty Boy Stain. Ooh.

Not wrong. And we are, of course, your fuck buddies. Sleep tight. you