F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 47 - Breaking the Banjo String

Episode Date: August 19, 2019

We've done gone and done it this week, that's right.  It's first ever podcast unboxing.  We then aggressively tackle a single Agent's questions with a few delves into the Reddit reservoir while getting into some unexpectedly deep tangents.  Also Dain Google image searches something he wishes he could immediately un-see while his cats sing us the songs of their people.  Topics include dating other people, avoiding monotonous sex, clitnipulation, sex addiction and the dangers of game, a comprehensive guide to handjobs and blowjobs.

I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. Hello friends, my name is Dane Miller. And I'm Noss Bain. And we are of course, your fuck buddies. We're a dating and sex advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations and turn

them into slightly stickier, sexy situations. Oh, shit. Did I do it? We've upped the ante. Did I do it? Well, what's special about this week is we are doing our very first, and possibly the first ever, podcast unboxing. Yeah.

So I'm going to hand our podcast podcast today and uh just tell me you know first impressions we'll we'll swap back and forth i think your cat wants to get in i was like i thought it was your chair squeaking i was like what the fuck are you doing over there the cat knows we're playing with a box in here um i mean like so so the first uh like you know feeling like it's got a good weight to it yeah well, you know, feeling that I get, it's got a good weight to it. Yeah. Well, I think that's probably all the advice.

Yeah. It's jam packed. Like I'm just, hold on. Let me. Oh my God. Yeah. Open that door. Are you coming in?

Hello, Oliver. Who's coming in? It's been a while since he's, since he's come in, but like today is the day that he's decided. Oh. Well, I guess, I guess fuck this intro. Yep. Oliver's decided to. Hi, buddy. Oh. Well, I guess fuck this intro. Yep. Oliver's decided to... Hi, buddy.

Don't you dare get rid of this intro. So I'm going to squeeze this box here. Sorry, I got distracted by petting. It's fine. I'm squeezing this box. There's no give. It's jam-packed full of advice. Yeah, it's hefty.

And it's surprising because I consider how small it is and how easy it is to take with you. Yeah. You could almost fit it in your phone. Yeah. It's jam-packed. Yeah. And I think you get a new one every Monday? Yeah.

It's almost like a subscription thing, but you don't even pay. You don't even pay. Wow. Those boys are doing it for free? It just kind of shows up. That's fucking wild. Should we open it?

Yeah. Okay. Tear? I was going to try to do some foley work there. It's weird that they sealed the box with an old haunted door, an old haunted wooden door. Yeah, well, you missed the- That's a style choice, I guess. You can go with the haunted knocker. Yeah, what's the first thing you see in there?

It looks like everything's just been drenched with whiskey and beer yeah there is a very strong aroma as soon as you open it you just get hit in the face with stale alcohol and closet i can definitely pick up some closet yeah there's oh wow like it's pretty much totally oh my god the inside the box is a closet yeah there's there's also like it seems like the inside or maybe the tape maybe the adhesive has like just little drips of boy sweat as well yeah yeah i can definitely get some some boy energy from this um oh okay so again a lot of advice like a lot there's some there's there's a collection of it looks like some bad jokes i don't know i'm not sure why they put them

in there yeah there seems yeah there seems to be sort of a, just like a side section. Maybe that's, maybe that's like just sort of like a little, a little nudge, a little in joke. Yeah. I mean like, um, but there, there definitely does seem to be, uh, I would say maybe too many. Yeah. But Hey, you know what?

Maybe that's his charm. Yeah. I mean like the more of these that we get i think we might actually come to look forward to the bad jokes hopefully yeah you know what i mean and be like oh i wonder what they're going to be this week this piece looks like it doesn't it's like a puzzle piece it doesn't fit into anything but uh shit if we'd gotten last week so maybe they would have put went together and made something yeah it seems like you kind of need to to get every box in order to understand sort of like what what the hell all the boxes mean yeah okay um but wow god that advice just drowning it over here it's really

good it seems to be like i mean that's why you're getting the box you're getting the box for the advice all the extra stuff is just kind of like uh just bonus yeah oh my god there's a question in here i'm gonna i'm gonna read it out. Okay, yeah. Hold on. Let me just... Oh man, there's so much advice. It's so good and hefty advice. It's hard to find the... There it is. Okay, cool. So, oh wow. This is... Looks like a question

from Reddit. This is by Arshad96. Girl I'm seeing is dating three other guys. How do I become her number one? This girl I'm going out with is seeing three other men. She's probably sleeping with some of them. And has told me she wants to explore her options. Is it just me or is this fucking weird?

What the fuck? She never told me she was seeing other people. And it was five dates in she told me. As someone who's recently started watching all the Fast and the Furious movies, I think the only thing that you can do here is challenge them to a race war. And whoever wins, whoever comes in first place, you're the number one. I shit you not. That is what they call the races in the first movie.

And I don't understand how anybody thought that was okay. This is now our Fast and the Furious podcast, guys. Oh, yeah. We're also immediately, once we're done this, we're watching Tokyo Drift, which we all know should never happen. Yeah, we're gearing up to watch the new Fast and the Furious movies, but I haven't seen any of them. So I want to get that rich back lore. Oh, yeah. Almost like our podcast, where you kind of need to see all of them.

Unbox each and every episode. Yeah. Maybe multiple times. You know, sometimes you don't even need to open them. Unbox each and every episode. Yeah. Maybe multiple times. You know, sometimes you don't even need to open. You just need to download the box. Yeah. A lot. On different platforms.

Yeah. And then maybe rate, subscribe the box. And then maybe give a box to your friend. Yeah. Maybe hand that box over. And maybe bully them until they open the box. And then guess what? They're going to hand another box to somebody.

It's wild. Yeah. I already don't remember what the question is okay well i'm gonna do it backwards uh is it him or is this fucking weird no it's not weird okay yeah no it's not if you're not again we've talked about this a thousand times if you're if you haven't had the exclusive talk it is safe to assume that the person you are dating and sleeping with are sleeping with other people yeah and there's nothing wrong with that that's fine like you have no you have no ownership of this person i think it's actually kind of cool that she told you because at least she's being open yeah uh again always depends on the like context of the

telling but i'm gonna just assume it was okay yeah um she's probably sleeping with some of them probably with all of them i'm sorry yeah no one's dating someone and not sleeping with them. I mean, I'm sure there is someone. But like, in the modern age, it is safe to assume if someone is dating someone, they're also probably sleeping with someone. Yeah, it's also probably like, I assume everybody has like the same kind of like,

when you sleep with someone between people. I doubt it's wildly different between people. So if she's sleeping with one dude after like five dates, she's probably sleeping with dude two after five dates. Unless something else is happening. You don't know. Either way, it doesn't matter. So get over that part.

The fact that you're mentioning it means it's bothering you. Yeah. And the fact that it's bothering you, like that's okay, I guess. But it also isn't because you have no ownership over this person. Yeah. If it's one of those things where you sort of expect exclusivity from the person you're dating, that's something you need to talk about. And it's like, and if they're not on board with it, then you know you're not a compatible match.

Or you need to sort of maybe adapt to modern dating and understand that there's no harm. There's no sort of personal attack. It doesn't mean that she's not being satisfied by you. It doesn't mean that like she's not being satisfied by you. It doesn't mean that she prefers one person over than you. You know what I mean? It's like she's literally doing what a healthy adult does and is keeping her options open until she makes a decision. Yeah. And like I'm imagining that you guys basically haven't been seeing each other all that long and she's probably trying to figure out which person she likes, which guess what?

That's fucking normal and good. That's fine fine also i i just want to clarify my statement she doesn't necessarily have to make a decision if this is just how she wants to date and how she wants to maintain sexual relationships also not choosing someone is a valid option yeah that's totally fine now to the real. How does he become her number one? Realistically, not jokingly, the only way that this can happen is that you sit your preferred and the other like you're cool with her keeping other people on the table then it's it's one of those things where you enter into you you again have to set the parameters of your relationship whatever whatever it may be whatever your criteria is you have to be like hey i would like to continue seeing you but in order for that to happen here are the things that would make me comfortable yeah and then she either says okay or counter offers you or you know me or my or she says i'm sorry that's not gonna work yeah i'm assuming for him oh my god your cats are wild today they've decided today

is the day they're just gonna sing the song of their people um i don't know if you guys can hear this or it just sounds like we're fucking insane but uh i assume what he means is like how does he like win the race to become her boyfriend you know because again i it doesn't strike me as the kind of case it's race wars it doesn't strike me as the kind of conversation or kind of situation where like they should be dating but she's still whatever i assume it's it sounds like it's a very new thing and she's also just mentioned that she's seeing other people you mentioned so fifth date so yeah exactly so it's new as fuck and i do think if you are like let's be exclusive like prematurely it's probably gonna go bad for you yeah and i think the only way to become number one and like be like the

one that wins out and the one that like is better or seen as blah blah blah blah is one don't act like you're like don't try and be number one because you're in competition with people that have no bearing on you whatsoever exactly um and if you start acting with like if you start acting because of this situation you're just gonna seem fucking insane if you get weird or jealous or possessive or any of the things that are pretty much acting on this situation you're gonna get seem fucking insane if you get weird or jealous or possessive or any of the things that are pretty much acting on this situation you're gonna get shunned to the side for someone who's not a lunatic yeah and that's the like the worst thing you can do is act on this the best thing you can do is be chill and be you because obviously she's seeing you for a reason

so if you just continue to be cool then either maybe she does like somebody more than you in which case fuck it that's gonna happen regardless yeah um or one of the other people will be jealous and weird and then they're gone and now you're only fighting against two boys you made a very good point where you said um she's dating you for a reason so like it's again it's not a competition it is it's it's literally a like she you have a redeeming quality, whatever it may be. Maybe the sex is great. Maybe you've got a great personality. Maybe it's all of them.

Maybe everything. Yeah. You could be perfect and she just doesn't want to commit yet because it's five fucking dates. Yeah. Because guess what? Maybe after five dates, you find out she's dating people and freak out. And then she's like, oh, all those things were false. This guy actually sucks.

Yeah. So you need to take a step in or take a step back and and think be like why does her seeing other people bother um because it has nothing to she's chosen to to sleep with you and see you and date you yeah so obviously there's nothing wrong with you nope because she's not gonna waste her fucking time especially when she has other boys you literally know that she has other options multiple other options so for you to be on the table means that you have something to offer her that she desires yeah so the like you're doing good yeah the insecurity that you have about her seeing other people is unfounded that is it's almost like completely disproven because it's not like oh i only pick one guy and i give him x amount of time so like i picked you and i gotta wait out my three weeks yeah you know it's literally like yeah oh, I only pick one guy and I give him X amount of time. So like I picked you and I got to wait out my three weeks.

Yeah. You know, it's literally like, yeah, these are the people of you. I can do whatever the fuck I want. I literally, there's nothing holding me to this yet.

I still want to see you. And I'm still going to be honest with you, even knowing that this might scare you away or make you fucking implode. Exactly. So you need to, you need to understand and like sort of, it's fine to be insecure and it's fine if this is a new situation for you. Yeah.

But process it. Take a second. That's the thing. Feeling it. Totally cool. Take it in. Let it, let it, let yourself absorb it. Let yourself process it. But then understand, be like, oh wait, hold on. I'm, I'm, I've been included in this situation. So. And also like. If she didn't want me. Yeah. I wouldn't be here also are you

seeing other people or not and if you're not why and if you are why put yourself in her shoes and realize that like one she's totally allowed to do this two there's nothing whatsoever wrong with this and three like if you act weirdly on this you're definitely burning everything to the ground yeah yeah the the more you freak out about this and the more you sort of focus on it the the less likely you are to be kept around yeah and i don't want to make it again i don't want to make it sound like she has the whim to sort of like toss lovers to the side but you also do right if you want to toss her aside you can do that too if you're not comfortable with this arrangement and it's fine if you're not there are plenty of people who are looking for monogamous relationships um that's not going to be a tough thing to find for you

yeah um then then move on and honestly if this is such a big deal for you again i don't know but if you find it is then yeah maybe you should end it because if you try and struggle through this thing that's like really bothering that you can't get past it's not gonna be good for either of you yeah but hopefully that's not the issue because i do feel like this is a very common and also healthy part of dating absolutely um and like if things progress and you guys actually do become exclusive or whatever like you know that it was like really for a reason it wasn't like you know like she she likes you yeah for for a variety of things it's not just like you were the only dude she ever met yeah i highly doubt she has a column of like guys she likes sex with guys she likes going to like movies with guys you know i mean it's like there's then

there is no real number one yeah no i mean like unless you guys are entering into a very sort of like polyamorous situation where you have sort of like your main person that you're in a relationship with and then you, whether it's monogamous or not, then these people are allowed to sleep with whoever they want, whenever they want, in whatever fashion they want. Again, if you're not cool with it, move on. Yeah. Do you want to hear some of the fucking comments? I absolutely don't. It's weird. I've been this girl.

If she's anything like me, she's not looking for a relationship, just attention. She wouldn't have gone on five dates with you and continued to see other people if this wasn't the case. I would back off. If she really likes you, she'll reach out. Chances are this won't happen. There are three other men in the picture. You're wrong.

Never be in a relationship. If you want to hook up with her, cool. But she's not someone you want to date. She won't prioritize you. Wrong. Have self-respect don't date people screwing other people wrong that's crazy what the fuck is wrong with what is date like dating is literally yeah seeing other people like dating people someone one of my biggest fears what oh yeah like i kind of expected everyone to be like and thus ladies and gentlemen why we have this

podcast i know every now and then i i'm just so blown away by shit anyway yeah there's there's a million other ones um so we got uh a really great email this week um from a listener who uh she says she just started um we're gonna give her an agent name of agent luxury oh yeah and welcome friend of the show yeah um she sent us a bunch of questions and i'm gonna try to get through as many of them as we can today um back and forth but we will we will eventually get through all of them um so i will start with number one um i will give a little bit of background because she uh she gave it um my boyfriend and i have been dating for nine months now eight months of those have been long distance but we recently moved in together and attend the same graduate school oh yeah um so question number

one we just started having sex recently my first time and i want to make sure it doesn't get too monotonous because i don't want him to get bored. Or me, really, but I feel like it's all new to me anyway. We both want to try new things, but I feel like I'm not experienced enough to know what to do exactly. Do you have any advice for keeping things interesting in the bedwoon? Bedroom? Bedwoon? Bedwoon?

Ooh, bedwoon. Are there things that girls have done in the bedroom that have pleasantly surprised you, aside from being enthusiastic and taking initiative, I know those are important. Well, first, she's already doing real well. You're doing a great fucking job. Let me tell you right now, already, like, it seems like you understand things.

Yeah, super positive. Fuck, you should be doing this show. Yeah, right? Yeah, like, the thing is, like, to shake it up, you don't even have to like do it crazy like you can just try a new position you can like fuck on the desk fuck standing up fuck against the wall like yeah those are things you can get a lot of mileage out of those i think one of the nicest and most important things is like i don't know how sex is but like

when you're getting to learn somebody's body it takes a while no matter what because everybody's different and whatever so if you're straight up like do this thing i like it that's great and like the more confident that he is that he's giving you pleasure and the more pleasure you're having the more fun everybody's gonna be fucking having so like i think that that is a big thing where like you don't be afraid to be like hey like rub my clit or like hey kiss my neck or like hey bite my shoulder or like yeah pull my hair a little bit like there's again don't don't say them if you don't want them to happen and i also feel like it'll it'll make sex for him easier too because i feel like if i'm focusing more specifically on what pleasures a partner i last longer yeah because i'm not like i'm not i'm kind of like

remove some situation of being like because your pleasure comes after you know what i mean it's like and that's a lot of guys are just like happy to i'm just happy to be there i'm just happy to have their dick in something you know what i mean and like i may not have won the oscar but i'm happy to be nominated yeah um but like if if you sort of remove yourself in that situation, be like, oh, I know what she likes and I'm going to give her what she likes. Then that takes the pressure and you're sort of, you're focusing on her and all of a sudden you're able to last a little longer. I mean, again, it changes when she starts like really enjoying herself or if she ever

says, I'm going to come. Yeah. Or you're in the middle of something and all of a sudden she's like, kiss neck or like anything and you're not expecting it it's just super hot and then go god well fuck jesus then you're off niagara in a barrel um i would say yeah you don't you don't need to like i've been having sex with the same woman for four years um it never gets boring don't worry if it's if it's good sex and you have good chemistry and if you have good communication, it doesn't get boring. Like, I'm very happy to have sex with Amanda in Missionary. Oh, yeah.

Missionary can be great. To me, I'm not like, oh, here comes Missionary. It doesn't fucking matter because what matters is consistently good sex. Yeah. because what matters is consistently good sex yeah if you're having consistently good sex i would rather that over consistently like fresh sex you know i mean like if amanda was constantly being like well here's the time where i'm gonna like strap you into this thing and i'm gonna like get onto you in this weird position and now we're gonna like do this new thing that probably isn't gonna feel great it's like i would no fuck that. I'd rather you just get on top of me and ride me. In that situation, obviously it's a little hyperbolic,

but there's almost more prep and more thought about the, it's fresh, than it is about being fun. And the thing is, you'll probably run out of fresh things to do if you try and do a new thing all the time. It's going to get more monotonous. You probably won't even fuck, yeah. Whereas if you're having fun, it doesn't it doesn't matter like legitimately you will not get bored having sex it just never happens it hasn't happened in all of humanity uh you might get

bored of bad sex or you might get bored of literally the same like missionary is used as a a derogatory thing and like tv and shit but it's generally a stand-in for one like just boring sex or just the exact same sex yeah so my thing is i would i would like just just focus on good consistent sex what i'm what i would warn you against is routine sex oh yeah don't also just be like oh it's seven o'clock that's our sex time or can I pencil you in for sex at 4 o'clock later on yeah if if you only have sex

at the same point in time every day or like every every week at the same time on the same surface that's when it gets monotonous yeah so

the advice I give you to avoid that is spontaneity every now and then like if you guys are watching a movie and just climb on just yeah just reach over again if you want his dick if you want yeah if and like you'll you'll

get that like you'll get to know if if he wants to or not and hopefully he will you have the relationship where he can be like oh you know what i actually like which again is totally cool i'm not gonna take that as a slight if it does happen yeah like everyone is allowed to not want to have sex at certain points you know i mean for whatever reason and like you don't really necessarily need a reason you just don't want to do it you don't have to do it um but like yeah every now and then like maybe you know after breakfast or you know while you're making food or just like you know it's bedtime and he's gone to brush his teeth or something and you strip off and you're waiting bad for him. And, you know, that's a nice surprise.

Yeah. There's a lot of things. Also, if there's any kinks that you have harbored, now's the time to try and explore them, right? Maybe you want to buy a pair of handcuffs and just play with them. You know what I mean? Like, you can always surprise them or have a conversation with them because you don't want to surprise anyone with anything a little too dramatic. Yeah. And you can do really simple things like a blindfold.

Right? You can do even more simple things like just go real slow. Like have really like slow like maybe he can't move. Maybe he can't interact and it's all you. Yeah. And you're just going to make him come whatever the fuck way you want to. Or vice versa. Exactly.

There are really, really simple things you can do. And again, I don't think it should be always all the time gimmick but like exactly feel free to throw them in every now and then yeah and like especially like if there's something that excites you and you want to do like that's that's more of it like than trying to guess and anticipate what he might like exactly unless you have you know some idea as to what that is yeah it's It's like I said, routine is the enemy here. Consistency is not. If you have good, consistent sex, you're doing great. Regardless of whether it's one position.

If you guys both come, if every time you have sex, you have, it's missionary and you guys both come and you have a great time and you love it. That's not boring. No, you're not having boring sex. I don't think anyone's bored when they come. That's not monotonous sex. It's like, well, yes, you're doing the same thing. Yeah.

But if you're enjoying it, you know what I mean? It's like. Yeah. And if you want to shake it up, then you do it. Yeah. If I got to have like my favorite fucking meals every day of the week. You probably get sick of it. And I still, yeah, I probably get sick of it.

Never mind. Ignore that analogy. Yeah. But no. And again, it's like, do what you want to do. Do what feels right. Don't, don't put yourself out. Like, don't worry that maybe he's bored.

So you got to do this thing that you're not really into because if you're doing something you're not into, or you're doing something like performatively because you're worried that that's what he might want. I think that's when sex might stop being fun, especially for you, but also for them. Cause they'll sense if you're not really into it. Yeah. And if you're not into it, you're not gonna have a good time and then like that can be the trap of like trying to overdo keeping sex like fresh and wild and whatever and i feel like sometimes people in

new relationships or who are new to sex do that where like it's a little try hardy where you're just like oh it's fucking we're doing this now yeah you know you're also in a really good position where like you guys are are starting your sexual relationship together you can create really good sexual habits like it's not like you've been sleeping together for five years and all of a sudden you you want to introduce new whatever it's like you can you can start really good things like talk about sex after having sex yeah you know what i mean like have a little pre-sex cuddle and and chat and be like did you like that what what could i've done post sex yes um yeah or even just be like you don't even need to ask you can just be like i loved when you did x yeah and like

that's a very simple easy way and you're also bolstering them you know yeah it's and like i said i mentioned it before um but like if if your partner knows they're pleasuring you the sex will only get better yeah um you could fall into the trap of like a one-trick pony where like they think it's the only thing that works yeah but then you can always suggest new things yeah or every time they do something like don't be like i fucking love it when you did this. Give them options. Be like, this was really good. This was really good.

Yeah. And I fucking love that. You know what I mean? So now they have three things. So if you're running the risk of them doing three things that you fucking love, that's the goddamn dream. You're better than most people fucking in the world. Exactly.

Because there are a grim amount of people who just have a real bad time in that. So yeah, I think there's a bunch of stuff yeah man wait we just took out all this advice from the box there's still more still more it's almost like there's a false bottom in this box oh my god this closet is walking this is a walking closet walking close to fit two boys in here yeah maybe even one cat yeah maybe even one gay boy true we can definitely we can build a third boy in here yeah um you know do i do number two yeah just do back to back oh yeah why not you fucking you send us your questions we will fucking answer them also can i just point out thank you i love when people we don't know send us stuff in because then we

feel like we're doing anything successful um if you want feel free to message us and let us know like how you find out about the show and yeah you're friend of show now so you can do things like that yeah um okay so question number two is i don't orgasm during penetration as one doesn't but i like that little add-on but i'm also not particularly turned on by fingering or toys i'm only ever turned on by his dick down there nothing else any advice for me reaching orgasm if those things don't do it for me well a lot of people don't do it via penetration so i think the the good old like fucking old-fashioned classic crime duo of clit and penetration you know find a good position where it's easy for him to manipulate manipulate your clit uh while he's fucking you or do it

yourself i'm trying to figure out how i can combine manipulate and clit clit clit nipulate clit clit you need yeah i know in my head it sounds like it should go together, but it just doesn't. Clit-nipulate. Clit-nipulate? Mm-hmm. Yeah. McClit-nate. So, like, if you're, like, lying on your front, there's an easy way for him to, like, slip an arm under. If you're in doggy style, depending on how it is, once he doesn't need both arms to, like, steady himself or grab you or whatever, you should be able to do that.

Like, lying on your side um if you're doing like an old like you he lies on his side you lie on your back like a t-shape um there's a bunch of like really easy positions for him also being able to rub your clit um or you can just do it yeah that's the thing if you're if you're comfortable with touching yourself yeah um there no guy in the world. I mean, no, that's not true. We've had questions where people have been upset. Yeah, some people will get upset.

And if that is the case, you can always either, one, be like, cool, then do you want to do it? Or just be like, I'm sorry, I got carried away by whatever. Or just turn me on. I'm watching you fuck me. So I want to touch. Just, you know. Or just be like, these idiot boys in the closet told me to do it and then see what he don't even give him any context yeah just tell him we tell him that

just like two idiot boys in the closet that's what they said we'll just just drop our name just be like dan and i told me dan and i'll said do this and literally no other context yeah um it's it's it's um i think it's also give up the idea that you don't come via penetration. Yeah. Just, just get rid of that idea. And it's like, it might be true. And if it is, it is, but like, don't focus on it anymore. No.

Kind of take it out of your mind and, and be like, oh, I've never come via penetration. Just have penetration be like the icing on the cake right so like while you're coming from clitoral stimulation uh have that like don't think of penetration as like the thing i'm not coming from think of it as the thing that feels really good yeah and like a lot of people i know were in the cannot come from penetration camp and now as a result of like just having like good sex with people also like you guys have barely been fucking yeah give it some time not not in the i'm not saying that in a bad way at all like but you're pretty new to this so don't worry about it and

thinking about it never gonna help yeah so just it's a good thing fuck yeah like enjoy it make yourself come in other ways and like don't over overthink it. But, uh, like I know a lot of people who, once they've come with their, like clit wise, they can come arse wise. No, uh, inside wise.

Um, yeah, it's, so it's, it's one of those things, but again, and even if it doesn't, it doesn't matter.

Like do what you need to do to come. Um, yeah. She also doesn't mention oral. There's, there's no mention of oral there oral and that's the thing like she does she does say i'm only ever turned on by his dick down there but like in the things that she says that she's not interested in she doesn't know she does not mention so if that oral it's great

that's the thing is like if he can knock two or three out of the park before he even gets going then it's like okay cool it's like it might not work for you on the inside but um you've already come like you're everything everything after this come from doesn't really matter yeah is is icing on the cake um there's also a bunch of positions that can can help um you can find you can look them up online there's there's things like um using a pillow underneath you to raise you up and that's you kind of like hit that wall? Yeah, it allows the pelvic floor to be a little more accessible. There's doggy style, which is also a really easy way to sort of hit that.

There's prone, if you're coming in at the right angle, if you're lying flat on your back. And a lot of these are also good for clitoral stimulation. Fucking double up. If you're lying flat on your back and he's... Don't let him come in horizontally, almost down, if that makes sense.

That tends to help. Again, also, just don't be afraid to say, hey, can you scoot back? Or can you angle a little lower? Can you angle a little higher? Work together. This is a team sport. like scoot back or can you can you angle a little lower can you get a little higher um there's work together like this is a there's nothing wrong with a team sport there's nothing wrong with going

online and looking up like you know what's a good position for x what's a good position for y like you know you'll you'll find something yeah i know you said you didn't like toys but adding a vibrator into the mix if you if you require clitoral stimulation even if he's doing it um it's it takes a lot of the pressure off of like manual dexterity of like yeah trying to rub at a certain rhythm while still trying to fuck at a certain rhythm in certain positions it's like definitely a fucking skill you gotta learn yeah being able to just sort of like grab a little vibrator just like even one of those like tiny little like three two inch yeah like um little pocket boys um and and like hold that there either he's doing it or you're doing it

give it a try because i'm telling you coming during sex is worth getting over like a fear of toys or a preference to not use toys yeah um because i'll tell you it'll change your life. I want to make a joke about putting a PlayStation controller down there and being the Apex Jumpmaster and jumping when you're... Hell yes. I'll do that and just fucking hold the gun. Oh, yeah. R99.

Or Extended Mag Devotion. Oh, Spitfire. Oh, Spitfire, baby. Yeah, get that level three mag. I promise you no one gets any of these jokes. We're very specifically casting towards a very specific audience right now. I would love if anybody gets any of that joke, just let us know. Just tag us.

Just message us on Twitter. If no one messages, I will assume nobody does, and I will double down next week. Yeah, we will just keep making Apex references. Speaking of next week, I said two episodes ago that next week I would talk about Vigismus in further detail uh the reason why i haven't is because one there's not all that many reliable resources online but secondly somebody was going to come on talk about it but we're trying to figure out how to have her on because it's like a international thing so i didn't forget and i'm not shunting it aside yeah

we're working on it again like we said in the first episode we don't know what we're doing when we come to podcasting. So we're trying to figure out how to have a guest remotely where we can't get them in the closet physically with us. We're trying to figure out how to have like a guest.

Like Skype or something. And still have a be listenable quality. Yeah. So once we figure that out, we are going to go back to that. Yeah. So sorry if you think I'm just being a shit. No.

You know what? That makes sense for the box. There's just this pile of question marks in one little corner. So I guess it's probably just the boys not knowing what the fuck they're doing. You got a question for me? Yeah, sure. Did we appropriately answer that one? I think we did, right?

I think we did. This has all been pretty wholesome and straightforward. So we're going to go deep into the sed did. I think we did. This has all been pretty wholesome and straightforward, so we're going to go deep into seduction. Why did I ask? So this is by Jaliero. Oh. And they say,

With all this game, do your create a pattern which can lead to sex addiction and ruin potential relationships? If you can get any girl you want, wouldn't you have a hard time staying in a relationship with one girl? This is too real for me right now. But that's the thing, man. It's a dangerous game, right? That's why I don't learn.

Because if you get that game, you can get anyone. So why would you have anyone? The one underlined. You'd have you have any every you have any all i know you're joking right now this is like a legit struggle that i had a few years ago before i started well i think i made it see this is not a serious question because the supposition in the question is that game actually lets you get any girl you want which uh let's let's go back to all the previous advice for games such as uh the emotional roller coaster do that one the sweat

closet hey i like you i don't like you i do get under my fucking hoodie yeah also the first comment which i'm sure it comes from a guy who definitely fucks yeah it's a zero-sum game if you're in a player you can't commit to a serious relationship. If you pull that perfect 10 and fall for her, there's a good chance you'll eventually get crushed and feel as hopeless as you did before you became a player. IDK about sex addiction. If anything, pick up Cured Mind.

What? Doesn't make any sense at all. Doesn't make any sense at all. I will... So here's what I'm going to bring up for this is turn it serious okay i'm gonna i'm gonna talk about it because like my goddamn joke question it uh we gotta get something out of them we're just gonna rag on seduction a little more when i was on tinder i i mentioned that like i kind of like figured it out and and it got to the point where i was just like i was able to sleep with

pretty much everyone i went on a date with yeah um and that's not to say that i like solved some yeah you know universal equation i'm gonna go back and count the amount of times you've said you solved twitter because you've lit i mean not tinder or twitter i have no idea how twitter works because you have definitely said i have hashtag called out um but it was one of those things where it's like i i got to the point where i like i oversaturated myself with uh options and i believe it's damien rice who said there are too many or too many options can kill a man throw up um um and it's and it's one of those things where like i i got to the point where like it was it became almost like a second nature to me to like go on tinder and swipe and find a date and have sex with them and then like and i would never just sort of like never see them again but for whatever reason like

whether it maintained or didn't whatever um and it got to the point where it was so like nauseating for me where i was i was just like doing this out of sort of like rote repetition well that's another thing i love about this question is that like it presupposes that that situation would be ideal whereas like they're entirely missing the point of relationships where like he mentioned sex addiction right well yeah but because like like i honestly do believe that i had either a very minor case of or like suffered from sex addiction where like i required sex from multiple people to validate my self-worth yeah and like and i don't know if that's technically sex addiction

though right like sex addiction is when it literally like it gets out of hand and starts to affect your life in a lot of different ways. It's not that you get your self-worth from it, which I think a lot of people do. I definitely have been guilty of that. But I don't know. I'd have to look up the actual definition of sex edition. But it was one of those things where it's like if I wasn't sleeping with a certain amount of people or if I wasn't having a certain amount of sex, I, I felt terrible myself. And I, I literally put things that I cared about, whether it was like friendship relationships or relationship with people who I

actually cared about and were sleeping with at the time at risk in order to pursue, pursue, uh, sexual relationships with people that I don't want to say didn't matter, but like, like we're very casual or just like sort of like a one-time thing. I hear you.

I've definitely been there, but, um, and it, it it very could it very easily could have um carried over into things like maybe i wouldn't have dated amanda you know what i mean like if i didn't but i i feel like the reason why it didn't carry over is because that's not a nice situation to be in like really because again this person luckily i had people who pointed that out to me but like yourself included yeah but i feel like my like what i love about this question is they don't seem to understand relationships because there's no like well i feel like a lot of people who rely on game tend not to have the strongest um support system whether it's family or friends or whatever

yeah so i feel like it's it tends to be a coping mechanism to bolster their self-worth through through their like means of being like look how many women i can get yeah um and that is sort of how they they sort of deal with that where i I was lucky enough to have really, really good friends who, again, yourself included, our other friends, who were very eager to sort of be like, you're not making good decisions. And it's hard to hear that, but it's also important to hear that from people that you care about and people that you respect.

And I feel like this guy probably doesn't have a whole lot of them. Yeah, I'm assuming this person is probably quite young and probably inexperienced again i could be wrong but it seems to me like they found out about game they're thinking about their future through game and they're like but what if yeah and i think to answer the question seriously maybe there's a risk but one game is not the be all and end all yeah because i'm sorry bud but no most of it is gonna work the opposite way yeah but secondly it's like no matter how many people you're casually sleeping with i think there's always going to be that void depending on maybe

maybe not for everybody but like there's definitely something to be said for relationships because you get so much from them yeah and love and support and happiness and like relationship doesn't necessarily mean monogamous no exactly like before during my sort of like peak uh troublesome period it was before i met people that i had pre like consistent relationships with and then i met two girls and then i met amanda and i had a consistent like sexual relationship with the three of them um that sort of really grounded me and i was like i guess they were relationships without the you know the price tag or whatever yeah it was it was nice because it was they were they were like grounded in reality and they were they were consistent and they were they were good

to me and they they actually like appreciated me which, which was something I didn't feel for a very long time. Yeah, because if you're just having one-night stands, you don't necessarily get that. No, absolutely not. You get that sort of flash in the pan, high. Yeah, like, boom, sex, I did it. It's like, oh, thank God someone wants me. Like that Akon Lonely Island song.

Exactly. It's literally that. And then you're back to, oh, I've got to do real life. And then she leaves either that night at like four in the morning or you are sitting awake all night hoping she'll leave at like eight in the morning. And then you're alone again. Or she won't get the fuck out at 3 p.m. and you're like, please. Yeah. And then you're hyper aware of just how alone you are in that regard um and again like i was in

a very unique position where i was i was also very lucky enough to have really really good friends and people that i respected and cared about who also reciprocated that you know i mean who also cared about me um and i don't know like if i didn't have you and if i didn't have our other group of friends i don't know if i would have been mature enough or responsible enough to or you know i mean like healthy enough to pursue a relationship with amanda i think you would have i don't know i feel like it's one of those things where like you dip like i think everyone goes through like peaks and valleys especially like when you're out of like a relationship depending on how it ended and you know where you are in life and who's around you and all this shit like you can definitely go

down that like that valley where you're like i only want casual things i only want whatever and like depending on how important sex is to you and how much you want it you can want a lot of sex which if you're not in a relationship means you're gonna have to find new people and blah blah blah blah and none of those things are really they're fulfilling in certain ways're not in a relationship means you're going to have to find new people and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And none of those things are really, they're fulfilling in certain ways and not in others, depending on the relationships. Like you can have sex with the same person a bunch of times or, you know, whatever. But I do feel like eventually you do start to go back into that peak where like you get over what's happened or you realize you're missing something or whatever. Like I, I don't see anybody i don't know i just feel like

it's just one of those those things you have to those journeys you have to take where you you figure out where you're at and what you want right and also it's about meeting the right person too yeah you know because a lot of what that is is like you know i think somebody in that first question we did like and dating to like an interview uh where it's like you know i think somebody in that first question we did like in dating to like an interview uh where it's like you're interviewing people they're interviewing you and it's this whole thing so like a lot of those things are interviews like if you went home with someone had a really good time and wanted to see them and they want to see you then you don't know where that would go yeah so you know i think it's a whole bunch of things um but i do think the problems with this question are, one, not even thinking of the benefits or the positives of being in a relationship.

And two, thinking that game is this godlike figure that just... I think it's super interesting that you already understand the dangers of this mentality. Yeah. You're already very much aware that like this could lead you down a path that is super unhealthy yeah like no addiction is good no even if it's sex you know what i mean like no we all fucking love sex but like being addicted to anything regardless of what it is whether it's sugar sex drugs alcohol whatever addiction is a bad thing yeah like just a baseline because it's a reliance

and if you're reliant on something then so if you already understand that this sort of mentality and this sort of like persona that you're willing to adopt could lead to something terrible that should give you an indication of how terrible that sort of persona that you're willing to adopt is um and like i would i would love to go back to my younger self and be like hey like you you don't need this would you though i don't know i mean like i i lucked out and i i'm very very content where i am now so like i'm very happy to have gone through the things that i went through and that's the thing is like i i've definitely made bad decisions i've definitely been in situations and like i guess technically technically if I went back, I could do better.

But the only reason I could do better is because I've learned. And the only reason I learned is because I did those things. So it's like, it's funny. Amanda and I actually had a fairly long conversation about this last night, um, where we're, I was just like, I'm glad I went through that pain, like that phase. Like, I'm super glad I understand looking back at it now. I totally understand that it was wildly unhealthy and I was in a very bad place. But I was like, I'm very, very happy I went through that journey because here I am.

And I'm very happy with it. And I'm not saying that I can't grow more and I can't learn more. I know there's still so much that i can fucking do but you don't like you learn by making mistakes there's also facebook memories is a really great indicator of how much you've grown when you go back through the things that you thought were jokes when you were younger and and or like the things that you were willing to say to people i mean like there are times where like i'll see posts where i've i've made a thing like just a post being like you know off on a friday night who's

around and a girl will will be like oh hey i'm doing this thing and i'll be like or maybe you come to the after party wink wink and quote it and it's like she was literally being nice and inviting you to a social event and And I was a fucking dirtbag. And it's one of those things where it's like you, it's good to see how much you've grown. Because some of the things I fucking, I did. I've been on my, on this day, just to see if I could find anything funny to add to this conversation. And 2015, currently in work, I found out neither of the people I'm working with I've ever seen Back to the Future. I'm so upset.

And then 2017, running Game of Thrones is like ruining an orgasm. You'd only do it if you're bad in bed. So no, I have nothing to add to that. But yeah, no, it is funny when you see where you've come from and then like... Yeah, and that's why we put the disclaimer on being like i'm sure you could go through my facebook history i'm sure if someone really wanted to they could go through my social media history and find all sorts of stupid bullshit that i've said for everybody

like no one's born perfect or i guess maybe you are and then you fuck it up i'm very very proud of my growth like i'm very i'm very happy that i can look back and be like oh that's super not cool to say yeah but now i know that like and that's the thing like i i this whole like looking back on like famous people's like instagrams and twitters and facebooks and finding something said 12 years ago and being like well now you're fucked for life yeah i i think it's kind of wild because like if they still have those uh sentiments now yeah by all means but like just because you said or fucked up or were wrong or just whatever a few years ago again obviously depending on the fucking severity yeah um i think it should be heralded more as a like hey they grew yeah as opposed to uh well now you're dead to me there's a great example of um travis mackerel apparently i don't i honestly i have no

idea what the reference was but he posted this whole thing on twitter i think it was like a month ago or so where he was like hey guys i'm really sorry for what i said and everyone was just like dude we've we've listened to you grow over the past like seven years or whatever it's like the person you were back then doesn't exist anymore like you you've literally you're like honestly an honorary member of these like communities that you have bolstered um and i was like it's so cool to see that people understand that yeah that's it's really refreshing because like because like i would hate to see people who again like it very easily be me your growth should be applauded more than again i also depending on the severity like if someone's like ran over a child

with my car and then it's like i would never wait to do it again i would never do that it's like well it's been 10 years you're right no like you killed a child with your car and gloated. I'm sorry. You're done. But like, anyway, you get it. Yes. All right. Let's do one more.

Sure. From Agent Luxury. Hell yeah. I'm going to skip question three. We'll get to question three. I think it's a little more of a discussion that we have time for. We'll come back to it. Number four, however. It's dirty. Oh of a discussion that we have time for. We'll come back to it. Number four, however.

It's dirty. Oh, it's filthy. This one is a bit much, but techniques for handjobs and blowjobs? That's not too much. Don't worry. We've had worse. I do these both, and he likes them, but I think I can be better. I've asked him before what he likes,

but it would be cool to also surprise him with some new techniques. Nala's currently worshipping me. Can I just praise this person for like just the best? I know I can be better. We can all be better. And if you're constantly striving to be better, that's the fucking best. It's literally the stance you should be when you

engage in sexual relationships is being like I can be better. I can do this better. Because you can. It never never stops you always get better so fuck yeah and secondly i asked him and also fuck yes to that you were the first yeah god damn it you're you're doing a really good job so user of the month you're on the wall the the thing that i would really like to illustrate is like it's cool that you're asking us and i'm glad you're asking us for advice but you also have different you have very very good

instinct on how to handle these situations and you've done them correctly or at least what we would normally suggest well i think like the the irony is like if you're open to advice and you're open to doing things you're probably the kind of person who's doing pretty well in the bedroom anyway but you're also probably the only person who'd be willing to go and seek advice so it's like there's probably people who aren't open to new stuff who are like fuck advice you know what i mean so it's like this weird thing where like just being open and being receptive is like i guess characteristics of people that seek advice but also the really good characteristics

for being good in bed yeah so it's like this catch-22 where like the people probably best suited to be good in these things are also the ones who are ironically asking for advice but it's cool um yeah let's start with hand jobs um firstly you gotta realize dicks are real sensitive. Especially the head. Like, it's real sensitive. So you gotta be really careful with it. So, if they're uncircumcised... Only punch it a few times. Oh, no, like, constantly punch it. It's not called a punching bag for no reason.

You know, like... They call it a dick term, the punching bag. Yeah, like... That's what they call it in London. What happened? Yo, I whipped out my punching bag. And it's black and blue now and not just from veins am i right um but no uh so the top's really sensitive so you're gonna need

some lube or some saliva or some real light touching or some pre-cum action. You know, don't just go on it raw. You can always use the foreskin if they got one. You know, you don't want to go too fast. Definitely never break the banjo string. You don't want to do that. What the hell is break the banjo string? It's a little string connecting the head of your... Oh, yes, the perineum? Perineum?

I'm sorry, it's the banjo string. I'm pretty sure it's the perineum. I'm pretty sure it's the banjo string i'm pretty sure it's the frenulum i'm pretty sure it's the banjo string don't break that and you don't and like obviously breaking that is like a whole other thing but you don't want them to ever consider the fact that you might because if that gets in their head once it's gonna be in their head for the rest of their life so don't pull down too hard oh why did i why did i google you're a fool i accidentally google image search frenulum tear so oh why it auto corrected and yeah okay we're just gonna throw up in the corner um so yeah be be be wary of the head it's where the best place basically the clit of the dick. It's the best, most sensitive part, but it also needs the most sensitive care.

If you heavily lube it up, you can do some pretty gnarly things to it. Yeah, the more lubrication, the less friction that's happening down there, the wilder you can get. And other than that, it's like, you know, you can go achingly slow.

You can go pretty fast. you don't go too fast you know what i mean like you don't want to just be that fucking jackhammer until it's time maybe but like just be confident also is another thing like if you're like hesitantly like just fucking like nobody wants to feel like you're gonna break the banjo string that's all i'm saying yeah see like i've i've had like almost no experience with hand jobs dan's weird uh it's i've all like i graduated i think i skipped a grade there's no graduating there's no skipping a grade there's no stuff like thinking that like hand jobs are like down the bottom of the pool and blow jobs and sex or whatever not not if you get them done right man anyway uh so like if you're gonna go direct head stuff you need lube you need spit you need

lube you need whatever just don't go dry on that unless it's the lightest it touches then even then you gotta be careful um but yeah just like practice with like harder grips like less hard grips like both hands one hand you know close fist punches yeah just punch so much so hard um you know what i really worry that someone will take this seriously and just like wail on the dick yeah some poor guy's getting his dick punched tonight don't punch a dick don't punch anyone's dick i don't think ever although to be fair, there are people who are into that. Oh yeah, if they want you to. That's cool.

Don't unexpected... Don't sucker punch a dick, I think is the... Also, I think like one of the like hottest, most unexpected things that happened to me was I was getting like... Uppercut a dick. Oh yeah, just like no, use your elbows

just like fucking muay thai that day yeah exactly don't uh yeah just be careful that you don't i don't know don't don't capoeira a dick um unless you're ready for the ram ramifications because you might wake up in a past where you're not dating yet. And then he's just going to come in the classroom. Or you could be ramificated. Yeah. He might give you a ram job. So I think one of the hottest things that ever happened to me. I just want to mention that we made jokes about having to listen to other episodes to get our jokes.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, 100% if you haven't listened to it. At least I think it's actually titled Capoeira Time Paradox. Yes. Yeah, I was getting like a foreskin hand job, you know, where it was just like, there was no lube on the head. It was just like an all classic hand job. But when I came, she like covered her hand in my cum

and like used that as lube to like get the sensitive head. And like, it was fucking wild, man. Blew my, it just came out of nowhere. I feeling so much sensation i think i blacked out but again you gotta be careful because pre-cum or post-cum jesus it's super sensitive too so you gotta be careful with that but what i'm saying is like the head is great but lube is essential as fuck and i think that's pretty much all we need on handjobs, right? There's a lot of information on handjobs. I thought handjobs we were going to skip right on over.

Nah, man. You should be, like, you can always do better in every scenario. So you should do all. Yeah. Blowjobs. So here's my thing on blowjobs. I've never given one. Whoa, whoa, whoa uh you know what that's actually golden i have given a handjob to myself i mean technically yes yes we are handjob

masters i've probably given more handjobs than any woman alive that's probably not true i mean like one single not like a collective one yeah i obviously he said any woman alive not all women that would be wild i your dick would be on fire currently currently is yes i'm just a flaming dick man i was wondering why the closet's so hot um why is there a mini fire signature in this box um what so i had an ongoing sexual relationship with a woman for a while um and for whatever reason we decided to watch porn together one day and we watched this video and i was just like that girl sucks a mean dick um and it got to the point where like we then started sharing porn videos back and forth of like what we'd like to do to each other or like what we've enjoyed

watching and would like to experience yeah um and it got to the point where like it just like every box was checked we just checked every box because like we knew what we wanted just no handjob boxes just no handjob boxes um and it got to the point where i was just like this i was like that girl that blow job that's what i want and the next time it happened i got it um and it was and it was fucking cool um so like i think it again if you want to keep things fresh again same going back to the first question you asked you want to break up the monotony maybe like watch a fucking porn video or tell him like he's watching porn he jerking off he's doing it um whether you want to believe it or not it's happening well if

he's blind um he's listening to it there's a described video it's fair he said watching so that's all i'm saying ah um yeah someone's gonna come back to me 10 years later yeah um like ask him to be like you know the next time you see it next time you're watching porn and you see a blow job that blows your fucking mind send it to me um and then like emulate it as best you can caveats here one porn is not always reality yes um a lot of is performative uh if not most of it blow jobsjobs, I think, are a little bit less so, which is weird because it's kind of hard. There's a lot happening for a blowjob. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff that is actually like- And there's things that some people can't deep throw.

Some people have it back. That's fine. Again, you don't need to worry about that. There are ways to train your gag reflex if that's something you really want to pursue. You also don't need it. I've been with loads of people who cannot do that, it's totally fine so don't let porn ruin you yeah i don't think you need to like just swallow dicks you also don't need to do anything yeah like flat out no things at all are you needed to do no maybe breathing but you don't want you don't have to

breathe if you if you don't want to i guess um but same same kind of deal is like the head super sensitive so like use that to your advantage suction brings more blood up to the head which makes it more sensitive don't do too much you don't want to pop that head there's literally you know hickeys don't do it to a dick yeah but like a little bit of hickeys fucking ever yeah no ever um but a little bit of suction totally great like it's what your mouth does it's great use that tongue also you can go hard you can go soft you can like tease don't forget the balls also when you're doing a blow job don't forget the hand as well a little blow like in and out lip and fucking thumb and pointy finger action over the head is fucking great

gag reflex use your whole fist yeah simulate you swallowing the whole thing the amount of times where i've been like well you get the whole damn thing in there and i look down it's like oh no you've got like maybe two or three inches in there you're just a sneaky um and it's like but i don't give a fuck if it feels like it feels like yeah that's the thing it doesn't fucking matter um if you if you get your hold hand on there and like sort of like attach your lip to yeah the the thumb and the the index finger and sort of like even if you're just barely fucking moving it it's gonna almost simulate like you're taking the whole thing especially when you've for want of a better word slobbered all over it there's lube everywhere so you're just going uh don't forget the balls

yeah i mean honestly one of the best things that you can fucking do is if you've got a small even like a two fingers like jerk and suck while also like caressing the balls just gently just very slightly like the amount of sensations that are happening there it's like three different things are happening it's the best and it's like it's something that we cannot achieve on there, it's like three different things are happening. It's the best. And it's like, it's something that we cannot achieve on our own. It's one of the rare things that we can't like simulate. We can't even dream. Because we don't have that many hands. No.

We don't have that many hands. Unless you have your own sort of like apparatus. On your flashlight, if you have one, which we've already answered questions. We know most people don't have one. Or you just like have to grab your balls. Some sort of like weird rig

where you've got like a feather duster sticking upright and you're just sort of dangling your balls over it. But then it's got to take your pluribus. Yeah, there's a bunch of things that you can do. But I would sit down and, like I said, again, about the watching the porn thing, it's like, that goes for you as well. Yeah. If you're a fan of watching porn or if you want to sit down and watch things together and be like,

if he's like, here's a blowjob scene, watch the whole fucking thing and be like, that's how I want to be fucked. If she's getting like, you know, bent over backwards some wild ass way and you're like, yep, that does it for me. Or if you just see like a video of someone going to town on someone's clit and you're like, yeah, your tongue, my clit. Yeah. Here you go. Right now. Right now. That's it.

Especially because we're so worried that you didn't mention oral before. Yes. If he's not going down on you. If a finger works in your vagina, think how much better a tongue is. Yeah. For everybody. She said she didn't like fingering. Yeah.

But like fingering, I assume is like. Inside? Inside. Yeah. Like I would never call it clit stimulation fingering or also would have not used clitoral manipulation and clitoral deception and one one thing that i think is a little fly under the radar you might not think of is try different blowjob positions and by that it's not wild but i mean like

some people i know literally cannot come from a blowjob while and by that it's not wild but i mean like some people i know literally cannot come from a blowjob while they're standing up beats me yeah man some people i'm very similar to that and let me tell you i will stand when i get a blowjob in order to reduce that sensation oh okay interesting i love standing for a blowjob i honestly i hate lying down for blowjobs like i'll still come but like i just i just don't enjoy them as much you know what i mean like if i'm on the edge of the bed i get to enjoy them more because i'm like you could do this all day yeah i feel bad but like if like for me it's super hot when someone's on their knees and you're standing up and like i just

it's not even just like the visual how much he loves you whether he puts a pillow down on the ground oh always i'll take my goddamn hoodie off and put on the ground if there's no pillows to be seen yeah um or yeah but like it's not even all that it's just like literally physically the act of me standing i don't know what it is my dick just feels better and where's it while i'm lying down it feels a little lackluster i don't know what it is i'm sure it's a blood flow thing but like shake it up get him to sit on the edge of the don't know what it is. I'm sure it's a blood flow thing. But like, shake it up. Get him to sit on the edge of the desk. You know what I mean?

Get him to sit on the edge of the bed. Get him to, you know, all these things. That's a very simple way you can shake things up. And you never know. Yeah. Blood job position. Again, if you're on the bed, go sideways. Like, sort of horizontal.

Don't go in line with his body where you're sort of like, your head is in line with him. Because that way he can also finger you while you suck his dick. Yes. And also, there's just something, there's a different sensation. Yeah. Another thing you can do is if you lie on the bed, if you do have like a fairly, how can I say, receptive gag reflex. If you're lying on the bed and like your head over and he can sort of like penetrate your um work with some skull fucking yeah that's the thing

and it's like if if it's a thing that you're like there's there's a bunch of things that you can you can do with your comfort level once it's something you want to do yeah don't do things you don't want to do and that should just be a hard and fast rule. Especially, like, if you start off doing something that you don't want to do and then later on are like, you know what, actually, I don't want to do it. Then they're going to be like, well, like, they're not going to get it or it'll be weirder or whatever. Which, again, I don't think that's fair. But I do think it's just it's a lot more possible that they're going to be upset. Whereas if you're like, oh, let's do this thing. And you're like, oh, sorry, I'm not comfortable.

Then they're not going to be like, but that time. They can just be like, okay, hopefully. And if not, then they suck. If they're a good partner, they'll understand. Because at any point in time, you can be like, actually, not a big fan of this. Even if you were, at one point, a big fan of this. And that's the thing. By all means, even if you did something you don't want to do,

and then you want to tell them you don't want to do it, don't let what I said get in the way. Sorry, that was probably a stupid thing to say. But I just mean, if you don't want to do and then you want to tell them you don't want to do it, don't let what I said get in the way. Sorry, that was probably a stupid thing to say. But I just mean like it's if you don't want to do it, it's always easier to just not have done it ever. Yeah, no, for sure. Yeah. And if you try it and then you figure out you don't want to do it again, just tell them you don't want to.

Especially if you're new to sex. Yeah, you can withdraw consent at any time. Yeah, you could be like, actually, you could you could even be like halfway through. I want you to fuck my face. And then he can go to town and be like, actually, you could even be like, I want you to fuck my face. And then he can go to town and be like, I take it back. I'm not into this. Sorry, that sucks on my throat. Yeah.

Or, you know, adjust accordingly. But, like, you're welcome to. And, again, I know we talk about this all the time. And I know we're always like, we shouldn't have to say it. But, like, we like saying it. It's important to do what you're comfortable with and consent is always yeah the like the paramount requirement of everything um yeah and also like i know i talked about the head being really sensitive and kind of the best part but like there's no part you should ignore yeah get that whole dick lick it like and also

oh i think we said this about lick outs before we're like sometimes it's hard to like like if you want to just do like a really like quick tongue movements strong tongue movements that's better like when you get them warmed up you don't need to do it from the very start you don't need to just start going ham on that dick because if he's not fully if the fire's not fully stoked and then you get tired it's gonna suck for everybody so you can start slow you can like do like stronger and less vigorous motions you can do whatever you can you can do a lot of shit and then finish them off quickly or like whatever like it's almost the opposite of like sex where if someone says keep doing that guys tend to have the the like reaction of like time to go faster and harder it's like no no you

were you were doing exactly what you needed to do and someone says keep doing that and you've changed also rhythm whereas like with with blowjobs if someone's like if hopefully they give you the warning says keep somebody says, keep doing that. Keep doing that. Keep doing it. Like, fucking please, god damn, do not stop. Please. But yeah, hopefully they'll give you a heads up that they're about to come.

And it's like, nine times out of ten, you can probably kick it up a gear. Yeah, yeah. Firstly, it's pretty nice to give your partner that heads up yeah please give your head um secondly yeah like it's it's one of those things i think like you can always get it that little bit fast a little bit harder when you're when the guy's coming and also don't stop until he tells you to stop yeah that's the other thing because he will tell you once once there's that point or we will literally wiggle ourselves off the bed or away from you he will fucking like solid snake out of there yeah and literally but uh your dick's a snake it's hard um but if you stop that's just sad town yeah even when you're giving them a handjob

when you're whenever they're coming you don't want to like swallow it or like yeah girls like get as far away as you want from it. And then just go to town on it until he says, fucking please, please stop. You know what people would prefer? A mess than not having the best orgasm. No guy is going to be like, oh, I'm covered in cum. Yeah. And if they are, then I'm sorry.

We've done your job well. Yeah. There's an issue there Yeah Unless like you're sitting On his like grandma's Priceless couch Yeah

In which case Grandma's right there Stop it You fucking pervert Yeah she went to bed though Maybe she's just sleeping On the couch She's listening to her porn

Cause she's blind I don't know Um That probably does it for us Yeah That'll be it Uh Let us give us feedback

If you want any clarification, let us know. Tell us how you found out about us. And welcome to the vaulted list of friends of the show. Yeah, welcome to our family. Because you are officially one. Agent Luxury, you're the best. If I could, I'd give you a Corona right now. Fast and Furious, brought it back.

Corona family. Fuck yeah. All right. Do you have some sex writing for us? I remember looking at the time and being like wow we're doing really good and then shot forward 30 minutes yep uh what happens when you talk about blowjobs or handjobs for yeah it's true forever i'm sorry somebody wants to fucking give people good handjobs it's just they're just not my bag you don't know if they're

your bag because you graduated early no i've had hand had handjobs, but it's always been like, well, now I'm also going to blow you. And it's like, if someone's going to give me their mouth over their hand, I'm going to take the mouth. You ready? Yeah. I'm not even pre-reading these anymore. I just have a list and I'm going through them one by one because, one, it lets me be surprised. And two, I don't have to go wait did i read this one so you're ready yeah you can always veto one if it's a bag of shit we'll just

do the next one nope this is my education by susan joy now is it my education or maya education my education until now my orgasms had been deep and ponderous things, slow to yield to excavation, self-annihilating when they finally did, so in their wake I felt voided and calm, every yen neutralized, and gazed on whoever had managed the work with

benign non-interest. Never had there been this tormenting, self- heightened pleasure like a hail of hot stones, and yet she seemed to recognize just what had happened, so that before I'd even stopped keening, she bore down again. She made me cum so many times that afternoon that, had I been somewhat older, I might have dropped dead.

Had I been a doll, she might have twisted off each of my limbs and sucked the knobs until they glistened and drilled her tongue into each of the holes. That's fucking weird. I mean, it's kind of relevant. If I was a doll, she would have dismembered me and tongued my holes. Yeah, I don't know. Is that a thing that people do to dolls? I hope not.

Probably sex perverts. Yeah, I don't... Now I'm always worried about, like, I think back of all the times I went to, like, my Feebo friend's house who had, like, Barbies that were, like, missing legs. They were just tearing them off and tonguing the holes, man. Yeah, did they fall off? Were you just playing with them too hard? Or did you suck them knobs till they were glistening?

Yeah, that's the thing. Like, that's how you get good at sex. Obviously, it turned her orgasms from ponderous and self-annihilating whatever the fuck that man to be fair that sounds amazing self-annihilating if my orgasms were self-annihilating yeah i feel like that would just the orgasm would orgasm itself until it orgasms yeah i mean that doesn't sound bad at all it's like racing race car till it races a car the nos shuck the floorboards off my car all right guys we love you that's a deep cut is there no that's a joke no one but dane and two of our friends get yeah and

the people who are just like living the furious life yeah oh man i hope we have at least one person listening out there uh yeah guys we love you love you. This has been great. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you very much, Asian Luxury, for sending us that very comprehensive email with a bunch of questions. We'll get to the other ones, I promise. Oh, yeah, next week. And I'll see you're the best. If you want to join the ranks of Asian Luxury into Friends of the Show, all you got to do is send us some questions. Now, the thing is, we have only a certain amount of spots available i'm not going to tell you how many yeah but oh wait it says it here at the bottom of this box

ah fuck it let's not read that out don't worry about it oh there's something at the end it says dan on it hold on you finish your thing i'll pull it out yeah um so if you it's sticky it's it's grody it's it's awful oh no there's a big X on it it's still singed from where someone tried to burn it but it resisted if you do want to send us a question or if you have multiple questions like Asian Luxury this week you can send

us an email at fbuddiespodcast at gmail.com you can send us a message on Facebook or Twitter you can find us on Facebook at fckbuddiespodcast. You can find us on Facebook at fckbuddiespodcast. You can also find us on Twitter at fck underscore buddies. Any

question you have, we'll answer it. Even if we don't think we can, we'll find an answer for you. Apart from the one time where we did say we'd answer it and haven't yet, but we did address that and we will. We're working on it. Like I said, we'll find an answer for you. We're not answering immediately. can be dumb as shit you could i challenge you to find a question that we can't answer well there's one we wouldn't answer what a bunch of

people ask about our dick sizes a lot oh yeah i mean i think we said that in the first episode we're not gonna answer our fucking dick sizes because that's not important our podcast is only so long we can't fit in it also i don't think they've invented a number that high no or that low you don't know you don't know maybe it's an inversion number also guess what it don't matter yeah get over yourselves yeah you fucking dirty squeezle squeeze i like that i thought you missed it no that's my favorite pokemon all right well it's dan time because i just found this dirty sticky piece of paper at the bottom of this beautiful well-crafted quite nice box that personally i would download rate and subscribe

every goddamn week and maybe give to my friends also please hit us on one of the apples podcast app and uh leave us a rating and a review that That'd be great. And tell your friends. Because like, I don't know, we're just shouting at the boy there. We don't know who's listening. Yeah, so Dan says, I got dumped and it hurts. Oh, Dan, have you finally admitted it?

Poor guy. How can that even be an article? I don't know. Let's just go to wherever he is and just take him out for a pint and just give him a hug i both want and don't want that because yes but also no but also yeah he needs a hug but also i don't want to touch this i think horrible person i think he would literally melt by genuine human he's like a wicked witch of the west yeah instead of water it's just like hugs yeah it's just genuine affection anything that's not a stock photo just burns

him to death that hasn't been manipulated maybe he's manipulating us right now oh my that's the thing i'm not gonna lie his game is working we want to take him out for drinks and give him physical affection think about it we're talking about him every week. We're literally sponsoring his posts for free. Are we? Are we? Oh, no. I... I...

Oh, Dan, have you done it to us? God damn it. Damn it. His game is so strong. My name is Dan Miller. And I'm... I'm...

I'm Niles Fahey. And we're your fuck buddies.