F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 66 - The Soft Curves of Ralph Wiggum

Episode Date: December 30, 2019

Hey 2019.  You were pretty buckwild and messed a lot of people's stuff up, but if we're being honesty here... you were pretty good to us.  So, thanks, but let's make room for 2020 now, baby.  Topics include not having sex on New Year's Eve (cheers!), Ralph Wiggum and your other precious children, Niall lies about surfing in Ireland, booty call babysitting, being boring, the winner of the Niall Joke Award is announced, getting bored of your naked partner, tactical break up timing, and a pegging situation.

I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Happy Fuck Buddies! Oh, we're just going for it, okay. Hell yeah.

I'm Niles Payne. And I'm Jay Miller. Happy Fuck Buddies! Oh god, Jesus. Hello friends, my name is Jay Miller. We did this. I know, but I just... And I'm Niles Payne.

And we're your fuck buddies. Stop yelling. We've been doing this for almost over a year now am i yelling what do you mean i'm sorry for getting exuberant it's goddamn new year's eve is it what day does it come out on uh not new year's eve the 30th the day before new year's eve okay it's new year's eve eve i won't be able to edit any of that because you were shaking that into the microphone. So this is going to be one of those episodes where we don't actually do any questions. We're just going to look back on the hits of the year.

Dane's going to kindly edit all of our funniest bits into a three-hour long episode. That's right. And you can do that by if you start on episode one and just work your way through. Because it's all. All funny. Three hours long. And because I'm not going back and rooting through. Yeah, I don't know how podcasts do that.

That seems like a lot of fucking work. I assume there is, most people have probably like a database of some sort. It's fair. Probably voting. Yeah. Like, oh, I liked episode this. It's fair. How was your year?

My year was pretty good. I think we've talked about this briefly in my birthday i guess yeah i guess i was just like i can only really ask you how your month has been yeah uh month pretty good that's good yeah i'm excited you know what i'm excited to do stop treating my body like shit because for some reason uh i i don't know i stopped going to the gym frequently and then like i stopped working out for whatever reason and then i was just like ah well the new year is just around the corner so i'm just gonna like i'm gonna indulge but i've just been like i've been so miserable like my body has just been like what are you doing to me why are you doing this indulging is meant to be good don't indulge if it's bad i know I literally do not know why I'm doing this to myself

and I'm very, very excited for New Year's to roll around and for me to be like, all right, let's get this show back on track. That's fair.

To be fair, I think it's just, I think I'm just so committed to having, to looking good that I'm really working on the before picture right now.

I like that. That's my, that's That's my reasoning behind this. Okay, yeah. Make sure your lighting is weird and that you look really sad and you slouch. Yeah, I'm just going to get in Photoshop and just liquefy my belly. Just make everything more bulbous. And then when I'm back to my normal size, I will look even better. So you're bamboozling the nation.

Mm-hmm. Goddamn, goddamn. I'm just a bamboozle boy. All right, should we do this? Yeah. Don't ask me how my ear is. That's cool. Let's go.

Oh, shit. Sorry, Niall. How's your ear? No, no, no. Sorry. I guess, will I start? Not until you tell me how your ear was. I feel like we've already done this.

Didn't we already do this? No, you didn't even do it on my birthday episode, which was last week. You didn't give a shit. Well, that's what happens when you have your birthday episode on the same episode as our Christmas episode. Hey, guys, it's New Year's Eve and my girlfriend doesn't even want to have sex. Cheers. By throwaway87759. Hey, guys, it's New Year's Eve.

My girlfriend doesn't even want to have sex. Cheers. Hey, guess what, my dude? She doesn't have to. Yeah. Get over it, guess what, my dude? Shouldn't have to. Yeah. Get over it. Next. Get over it? What's the issue here? Were you complaining to the internet about this?

Yeah. Like, there's nothing about New Year's Eve that means you should have sex, necessarily. Often, I have less sex on New Year's Eve because I'm busy spending it with my friends. It's not even should. It's that she has to. It's almost like, you know, it's almost like he's saying that, like, it's New Year's Eve

so we have to have sex. That's the thing. That's what I'm saying. It's like, New Year's Eve isn't even, like, I don't even understand why that's an issue. Even if you were like, it's Valentine's Day, then it still doesn't matter. It's her choice, bud. Yeah. Guess what? Maybe your New Year's resolution, your New Year's resolution should be to not be a dick.

Yeah, to realize that fucking other people have agency. Yeah, that's okay. She doesn't have to have sex with you. Yeah, it doesn't matter what fucking day of the week or year. Yeah. It doesn't matter what holiday. There is no holiday. There's no time.

It could be your fucking birthday, bud. You could have just been born. No. No. No, that's not how that works Nope, she still doesn't have to Nor should One would argue that she's not allowed to

Well, your turn This comes from Reddit user Stayoa916 Is it weird for a guy to sleep with stuffed animals And love them as if they were his own children? I'm a 24 year old working professional I'm short, but I'm pretty muscular And have never dated before

What do girls think of guys with stuffed animals? I currently have a stuffed pig Two penguins Oh no, sorry, two teddy bears A mouse, a rhinoceros, a penguin, and an elephant They take up half my bed and I treat them like my own children. I have names for each of them and I pretend to be their father and cuddle them before bed each night.

I also have a pillow that I humanize. The pillow is a picture of Ralph Wiggum, an animated little boy from The Simpsons who I think is adorable. Man, I was with you up until there. And I pretend he is my own child and cuddle and kiss my pillow. Will women find this weird? And can I still maintain this habit? I've had these animals for as long as 20 years and don't want to get rid of them.

But I won't mind storing them somewhere if my girlfriend or wife doesn't want to share a bed with them. Well, how could she when they take up half of it? I'm sorry, that's my first question. It would be a real estate issue. I think it's cool that you have these teddies that you love i do think the constant references to you loving them like your own children makes it weird uh-huh i think like if you were like yeah i've got some teddies i'll love them fuck yeah maybe don't put them on the bed because guess what y'all need some space it's hard enough to fit two people on the bed they get too warm i'm too warm

it's awful but the the weird loving and then kissing and fondling ralph wiggum's human pillow that's that that got me i'm sorry yeah i think it's i was i was trying to make a good case for this boy i think it goes downhill with ralph wiggum also the best thing is when he said like there's a i forget the exact word he was like a pillow a big pillow a human or something yeah that a human eye isn't it like the weird like anime body pillows where people like do sex things so the fact that you're like fondling this boy pillow i don't know man just we worried yeah i mean this, I think the prevalent thing in the comment section was like, this sounds like it might be a psychiatric issue.

And I would have to agree. Yeah. Like, this sounds. Repeated, I love them like they're my own children. They're not your children. You don't have children. You don't know how you love your children. Yeah.

The fact that you keep referring to yourself as their father and that you're like, it sounds like you are, i can't remember the name of it but it's when you like um humanize inanimate objects and then become attached to them uh there's like an actual yeah word for that i don't remember what it is um and that sounds almost exactly what you're doing here yeah um and it sounds like you probably need to go see someone about that because it's it's probably, it's definitely an intimacy issue. Like, this is going to be a problem, I think, at some point with, like, if you're this way with inanimate objects, what if you do end up having children? Or what if you, like, how are you going to then treat a prospective partner who's a living, breathing human person?

Yeah. Are you then going to assume ownership? Because that's what, like, my big worry would be, like, you own these things. And that's correct because they are inanimate objects that you purchase with money and therefore own. Yeah. But someone committing their time and, you know, whatever you uh does not grant ownership so i'm worried that you're going to assume that like they are going to have to do what you expect them to do you know i mean it's like you know what the pillow is going to do yeah and that's lie there and and accept your cuddles

and kisses um when there's someone who's in your bed who all of a sudden doesn't want to be cuddled or kissed how's that going gonna go for you or starts to move yeah or isn't a small animated boy yeah you can't replace the felt you tear off them in anger jimmy that's flesh and it doesn't go back yeah um there was one comment where they were like uh they're like women when they see his bed and it was just a gif of uh ralph wickham doing the i'm in danger yeah yeah like and the thing is i don't want to i didn't want to this question to turn into us making fun of him making fun of someone for having like non-traditional uh like like hobbies i guess or like uh loves or like passions yeah um and then

the ralph wigan bit got me man i don't know like it's cool if you have a teddy you love i have a sonic teddy back home in dublin that like fuck man if i ever came home that was gone i would be heartbroken yeah i don't have it in my bed i don't cuddle it i used to when i was 11 and it was awesome um oh man for years for a long time actually like i still kind of sleep in the same position i just use like the sheet or a pillow because do the same thing but uh that was fucking sick teddy man it was so good um and like yeah i love that thing but i do not think it is my child nor do i have it in my bed because i understand that people will be like that's a little strange and maybe the time taken to explain that would kill the mood or i

might get someone who's just like not i don't know but also it's back in our own it's nothing it was it was a way it's now one of those things where i put it somewhere where like you know you give your memory box or like you have some shit from like when you're a kid that you just still like or shelf yeah i mean i have a fucking toy of of cloud from final fantasy 7 that's in display like it used to be on my like above my bed i had a shelf with all sorts of nerdy shit i had like an old original nes i had a bunch of like mario stuff but a bunch of like uh um video game stuff and nerdy stuff um and that was cool and that was like my nerd shelf and if anyone ever gave me shit for it i'd be like all right cool you're not you're not cool yeah no fuck like that's i have a very small shelf that i have

a very select curated curated um um shelf of like my nerdiness you like some shit and it's awesome like if i was in a girl's room and they had some stuff that was like oh my nerdiness you like some shit and it's awesome like if i was in a girl's room and they had some stuff that was like oh my god like you know anything like anything that's just not like the usual like oh look it's five encyclopedia britannicas because everybody has them my thing is i definitely have gone home with a woman and when i got into her room it looked it literally looked like I was going into a child's bedroom yes yeah that's the worst and then you also do feel a little bit like you're going to be murdered I couldn't do it I literally had to sort of like make up a reason

why I had to leave because it it literally felt like I was in a like a high school girl's bedroom and I just just just immediately killed my buzz. Just ruined my night. Killed your buzz? My buzz. My horny buzz. I thought you were going to say boner and I thought you actually said bus. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, no. She had

Justin Bieber posters on and she had that white Ikea wire bed frame that like... Wire? Or Ikea wire bed frame. Wire? Or like the, you know, the iron bed frame. It was like... What the fuck are you talking about? It's like literally every fucking teenage girl I knew had this fucking bed.

I'm not from here, man. Well, you know, most people know what I'm talking about. It's like a big... It's got like a curved, a big curved headboard and a big curved bottom board. Ooh, tell me more about this big curved bottom. And yeah, but it was like, you know, all pink, bunch of stuffed animals, like covering almost the entire bed. Justin Bieber posters. And I was just like, I can't be here.

Yeah, I think... Because also we met on Tinder and it's like, you could be 16. I don't know. Yeah, I just feel like... Like, yes, I will champion... Even if it's a stuffed pig and some penguins and some whatever. That's fucking sick. You like them?

I think that's cool. An elephant. Yeah, awesome. Have them, like like give them private place give them a shelf and you know be aware that some people be like when you get in someone's room it's always really interesting because you're gonna have a look around it's gonna give you an like a deeper insight into that person right yeah um is the room meticulous they probably knew they were getting laid tonight you know or they're a serial killer is their room overly messy maybe also still a serial killer anything in between though you know

you see a poster to a band you've never heard of you see 17 justin bieber posters you see a porn calendar you see a you know 18 bottles of rum on the table all these things give you like a little insight and i think it's really cool and it's really fun when you're in someone's place having that look around so someone will probably be like what's with the stuffed animals and they might expect you to have a story or something so just be aware of that however this is all predicated on the situation that you don't think you're these things father because i think that's taking a little weird. If someone asks you, hey, what's up with those stuffed animals? And your answer is, they're my children. Yeah.

You can't say that. Yeah, that's not okay. And like I said, we are now into a psychiatric help area. So I just wanted to get back and say that I do not have a problem with this situation up until it starts getting a little strange like that.

Yes. Also, I do think you need to keep your bed free. Yes. Because. As an adult person who is, I'm assuming. If you're dating. Looking to get into dating. Your bed now serves two purposes.

Sleeping and sex. And either one of those is going to need two people's space, right? Because you can't sleep on one side of the bed or it's hell. Yeah. It's hell. This is by user CuteCurl97777. If a guy calls you fam often when you talk to him, that means he friendzoned you, right? Further details. Question says it all. it all lol damn I don't know maybe that's the thing I don't know I don't I don't know a whole lot of people that say fam so I don't have the context skip this we're too old I know but it may be too white no i'm pretty sure it's exclusively white dudes were 17

and skateboard and probably are aiming to get dreadlocks in the next two years and wear t-shirts even i wouldn't fit in you've painted a very specific picture i don't know if any of it tracks but okay have you never seen any like tiktok videos what guy's saying fam all up in that that's too bad i don't know uh i feel like maybe fam is what dude used to be and i feel like if you were calling the girl dude depending on who you were does not mean you have friends on them because there are certain kind of people who call everyone dude stoners yeah i don't know because i'm thinking it's like i feel like there are like i don't know other things to call someone true that you are trying to cultivate ever an attraction to i mean name them i don't know like if you're if you're using that kind of shit i don't

know but like some people like that like i know people who literally use dude as like or at least not anymore but like when we were younger like people would use that like dead dead set serious like every time they talk to anybody hey dude oh what's going on dude like dude like why was everyone in ireland like a southern california surfer bro oh dude they're ripping bodacious crunchy waves off the coast of kerry and all those sweet surfing spots in ireland it's actually one of the best surfing spots in the world it's not well wave wise it is weather wise maybe not so much it's not true like a hypothermia like i once did when i went surfing in ireland um i don't know i feel like i'm out of i think this is i'm probably i've probably been out of my expertise in a few questions i feel like this is probably the most out of my area that I could be.

I don't... Well, let's take it to the youths. Okay. The youths. One comment says, no, my girl calls me bruh. See, that's... Okay, so here's the thing. I feel like it would be really...

Yo, bruh. I think it would be funny. Like, if you had that relationship with someone, you know what I mean? I think it's funny to have that give kind of to have that give and take so like I don't know if it's a playful fam you might be okay but if it's the kind of person that calls everybody fam if you're the only person he calls fam that either means one you don't got friend zoned or two I would say it's the other way around I think he's a family zoned if that's what it means right I'm you related now I think

incess if you did you relate zone you I think if you're the only person he's the other way around. Maybe he got family zoned. Because that's what it means, right? Are you related now? Is this incest? Did he relate zone you? I think if you're the only person he's saying fam, I think it's a good sign. Because I feel like that's more playful. If he says it to everyone,

then I don't know. Then you're, I don't know. You could be anywhere. But if you're the only person he says fam to, I think that might be his cute little nickname for you.

So we're taking this to Urban Dictionary. Well, I mean, I don't need Urban Dictionary to tell me what it means. Okay, what does it mean? It's short for family. It's someone who's like close...

What's up, fam? Right? Well, yeah, but like, that's as much as descriptions you can give because a word used to describe your peoples, ones that you can trust dearly, someone you consider family. In the example,

my fam was mad deep up in the club the other day. Yeah. None of this screams romantic, but it does scream closeness. Yeah. So I'm wondering if, it could be anything, I don't know. You gotta look at his, when he says fam, how does he say it to you? Is he like, fam? Or is he like, fam?

I think I'd prefer the first to be honest yeah cause you don't want me to fuck you no because you sounded like a weird Scarborough ghost do it again fam I know it was a little shaky I don't know what it was hey fam

no I can't do it it's a non sexy word you can't you cannot make fam sexy what's up fam I don't know it. It's a non-sexy word. You can't. You cannot make fam sexy. It's not fam. Hmm. Hmm? I don't know. Maybe.

A little spark. Does he say it like that? Or is he like, fam. Yeah. No, it's a context clue. We can't help you. God damn, you thought we'd get away from spook stains, but still. New Year's Eve.

They don't wash out. They don't wash out. Yeah, I don't know. Analyze his famming around other people. And then compare it to your own famming and then just be like or fucking you know take it one step call him boo or something you know what i mean yeah call him bruh bruh yeah call him i don't know just ask him if he wants to fuck yeah that's who um this comes from reddit user mrs bitch. Is it normal for a hookup to bring their kid with them? So it's 1.17 a.m. and my roommate had a guy come over to hang out with him.

That's totally fine. He's single and can have people over. I mean, he pays the same rent as the rest of us. The weird part is the gentleman brought his kid with him, who I think is about five years old or so. I'm not great with ages, but the kid is young. I feel uncomfortable as I don't even know if they are spending the entire night or what. My roommate is in his bed with his guest,

while his kid is watching TV in the living room downstairs by my room. So far I've texted my roommate, but I didn't know if I was being unreasonable. Is it weird to anyone else? I can't sleep because it just makes me uncomfortable, not to mention my roommate never even brought up that a kid might be sleeping over tonight with a guy we've never met. If I'm being stupid stupid please let me know i don't want to make a big deal out of this if it's uh if it's something that doesn't need to be made into a big deal uh i think there's one very important thing this person needs to check is it a body pillow of ralph wiggum that they've

prepped up on the couch it may not be a real five-year-old child this is that's a very very good point did they say yes maybe he has a kid yeah oh don't yeah that's the roommate's like yeah don't worry about it did they ever say oh yeah he's like a father to him although it does say i believe the roommate is gay and he says the ral Wiggum boy does mention girlfriend or wife. So I think... Oh, okay. There's nothing to indicate that these were men. Yeah.

Or I missed it. Either way. My roommate had a guy come over, and he said he's single and can have people over. Okay. Either way. I mean, maybe Ralph Wiggum's branching out. Maybe Ralph's dead. Also, you never know.

Chief Wiggum. No. Oh, my God. He's Chief Wiggum. Yeah also you never know no oh my god he's chief wiggle uh yeah you never know my that's not just one person who's a weird ralph ownership thing uh copanana just yell that at the people fucking um i think that's quite weird yeah yeah if i when i was living with a roommate if i was uh if my roommate brought a woman over and they were just like oh by the way i'm just gonna dump this small child because like especially at 1 17 a.m yeah that that kid should be in bed yeah put that kid to bed but it's also like that's it's not like you're bringing over a nine-year-old who's smart enough not to do stupid shit i mean

you know i think it would still be weird with a nine-year-old 100 what i'm saying is leaving a five-year-old unattended like that's dangerous that's the time where they're literally doing everything that they possibly can the only time to be worried is if you can't hear a five-year-old and if you can hear a five-year-old they're probably destroying something or themselves yeah also that's the thing they going to either put themselves in harm, harm's way, or, like, fuck up this person's apartment.

Draw on the walls or steal their fucking TV remote. Yeah, or be like, I'm going to fucking play PlayStation and just, like, cram discs into it or, like, try to figure out

how to play Fortnite. Yeah, and, like, if you're two people who don't have kids, your apartment may not be childproof. Maybe there's drugs out on the fucking, or a cigarette,

or like a knife. Or even just a bottle of booze. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, if you just have like a little bar shelf somewhere, and that kid's thirsty because the parent is, you know,

in the other room getting dicked down. Who's also thirsty. Yeah. It's like maybe... Thirst runs in the family, apparently. Maybe this little kid's gonna start guzzling down some Bombay. The next thing you know,

you've got a fucking alcohol-poisoned child. Yeah. On your property as well. You're not babysitting it. No. So it's like, who knows when they're going to come out and fucking check on this kid. That's the thing, right? Is it weirder if you go out and look after it or not?

Because if you don't, anything could happen. If you do, like, it's fucked. I don't want to look after a five-year-old kid. I didn't even want to look after the,-year-old kid i didn't even want to look after the you know drunk women that would booty call me and then they get there and be like well okay well we're not having sex but now i guess i'm looking after you you know what i mean it's like i don't even want to do that last thing i want to do is have to listen to my roommate have sex while taking care of his fucking booty calls five-year-old child like picture it this way if

me and you were hanging out and you were like hey come to this house and then you left me in the room to go fuck i can look after myself and i'm a grown-ass adult and i would find it weird it's still weird yeah so i think it's even weirder when it's someone who doesn't know what the fuck to do how the world works yeah what if they try walk in like the kid's like, oh, you went in there. I'm scared or I need to piss.

Yeah. Or I'm like, I just, I'm confused. Yeah. I miss mom. Or I just heard. Or I miss dad.

Yeah. Or I heard like screams. Yeah. And butt stuff. Is that, dad, is that butt? Yeah.

No, I just like, dad, that sounds like butt stuff. Like, well, if the kid walks in, I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. Don't do that, guys. So the answer to your question is yes, it's weird. Yes, I'm... Talk to your roommate and be like, hey, I'm fine with you boning down with whoever you want. I want to know if he thinks it's weird. Like, did he go like, what the fuck's going on, but I still want it. So I guess shrug, this will be a weird story tomorrow.

Is this a weird fucking grinder situation? Is it just a one-time thing? Is this a person they've been seeing? To me... There's probably a daddy daycare joke in here somewhere. I promise you this is a man probably cheating on his wife. Yeah, maybe. But why is he the kid at 1.17 a.m.?

I don't know. That's a wild time to have a five-year-old up and about on adventures. Yeah, I know. That's too late, man. That's too late for some people I know. And they're six times older than him. Yeah, I mean, like, yes, this is, I think you definitely sit down in your room and be like, yo, you can fuck whoever you want. I have no problem with that.

You're allowed to have people over whenever you want. But please make sure they don't bring small children into our apartment. This is not a daycare. If they want to come over... I feel unsafe with a child there because anything that happens to them, I'm not putting my... I'm not going to put my time aside to fucking care for them. But if they're in there and they trip or hurt themselves or bang their head off a glass table or drink a bottle or smash a bottle or fuck up our walls or ruin our PlayStation.

Or just, you know, they want to change the channel, don't know how, and they end up fucking ripping the TV off the wall or something, you know what I mean? It's like, I don't want to be responsible for a kid because you want to get laid. Yeah. That is not fair.

So if they're bringing kids over, you go find a fucking 24-hour daycare spot to throw them in. And there is a rule I never thought you'd have to have before between roommates don't leave unattended five-year-olds in the living room while you fuck yeah and that's the thing it's like it's not even i mean it'd be fucking wild to have them in the room with you if you're fucking yes but what i'm saying is like it's weird to be like i'm gonna put this kid in the common area of our living place that like i don't really have a personal stake or claim in um and like what if this roommate wanted to go and watch tv it's like

you can't you have to watch the fucking roommate was out and came home with a bunch of people to have like after club drinks and it's 2 a.m and they all come in they're hammered and there's a fucking five-year-old just, that's a movie right there. And that's the thing, it's like, okay, well, you know your roommate's good, but like, what if you have that one fucking idiot friend who's like, let's give him booze. Or like, let's get him high. Yeah. Hey man, you want like, you want that?

Or the, you know, the hot box the room he's in or something. Yeah. And then your pillow smells like weed. There's so many fucking, ugh. There's so many problems with this. The weed smell never gets out of Ralphalph um there's so many problems with this where did you find that question don't worry about it um it is it is something you definitely need to address and make sure it never happens again yeah my god also child services uh

this is by matpat98 how to seduce people when you are shy and boring i don't know how to do it maybe i need to work on my social skills, but it just seems like I never know what to talk about or do with people I don't know. I want to be someone people gravitate towards to, but I'm not doing a good job in achieving that. I never know what to talk about. I go to the gym three times a week

in my third year of college studying computer science. Beside that, there is not much going on. I play video games, but a lot of people don't want to talk about that either. Even though this is mostly intended for getting women, I also want to be someone man-admire and want to approach and talk to. I'm going to give you a little hint. This one's for free. By the way,

the billing cycle for the end of the year is coming in, so if anyone who's lived in the whole year, you're going to get a bill for everything. But this one's free. If you want people to gravitate towards you, you need to become the size of a small planet. Don't call yourself boring. if you self-identify yourself as boring then that is the that's the vibe you are putting out into the world

let me tell you no one wants to gravitate towards boring yeah i went on you think you're boring yeah i went on a blind date once and the first thing she said to me was sorry i'm really boring that's terrible and i was like how how could anybody think they're boring? The only truly boring people think that they're exciting. Yeah. And that's the problem. Yeah. The most boring people are the ones who like will come in and be like, I've had the craziest weekend.

I was hanging out and then like name drop a bunch of shit. It's like, I don't care about this because this is the same shit you talk about every fucking time. Those are the people that are boring. The people, like you said, who are convinced they lead the most exciting lives or the most dynamic lives are usually the most boring people. And yeah, they might actually do all that shit. But I don't want to hear about it. Because it doesn't mean you're exciting. Like if you're one note.

Yeah. You know what I mean? It could be the most beautiful note in the world. But eventually I'm going to get bored of that note yeah uh also like you're downplaying all the things you're into and that's bullshit because that's what makes you exciting yeah like yes you can overdo talking about video games or whatever but like if that's a passion of yours you don't need to hide it i don't hide the fact that I like video games. I'm sure you like other things. Also, it's like, can we just get over the fact that women don't play video?

Yeah. You don't know that? Like, fucking, there's a brand new co-worker at work who is a massive gamer. And, you know, you would not know what to look at her. Because guess what? You also don't know what to look at anybody. You fools. Well.

You might guess. You might be wrong. Yeah. Unless they're currently holding an xbox or playstation controller and yeah no you never know but that's the thing is like you can't assume that shit like you talk to someone and you might find out they also like games so you automatically cutting yourself off of the knees sucks but also if someone's like hey what are you into and you're like don't want to say this and this so nothing nothing then yeah you're gonna seem boring like if you go oh i play video games a lot and they go oh that sucks then guess what that person is boring and also just like it's not like you're not gonna along with everyone yeah there are people

if the only thing you want to talk about is like how fucking high you got every on the weekend it's like i don't want to hang out with those people like if that's all you have to offer in terms of social interaction that bores me or if you want to keep talking about like how fucking crazy your parties are it's like cool it might be fun to hear once or twice if it's a real good story but like yeah but that's if that's it or i don't care to be fair like as you said any one note is gonna get boring yeah like if you don't have a personality but you are just like video games then yeah they'll probably get boring right yeah so like find out what your passions are and don't be afraid to talk about them also the most important thing in this situation where you don't know what what to say get them to talk ask them questions

yes i think i can't remember the i can't remember the guy, but it's, you know, interesting people are interested. Yes. So the more you're interested in someone, you could literally say nothing. You could literally reveal nothing about you and people will still think the conversation they had with you was the most interesting in the night because they got to talk about themselves without feeling bad. Exactly. So if they go, hey, what are you into? And you say video games, be like, hey, what are you into? Yeah, video games.

What's your story? And then maybe they'll be like, oh, I'm into this. And you go, oh, shit. Like, what's that? Or like, oh, really? Like, do you do like, maybe they mentioned something, you know, something about it. You go, oh, like rock climbing. Oh, are you, do you do lead or like bouldering?

Or like, oh, do you do like a specific type? Like, just ask them to clarify. Because if they were like, oh, do you do like a specific type? Like just ask them to clarify. Because if they were like, oh, what type of games? That would be cool for you, I assume. You'd be like, oh, I really like first person shooters or, oh, it's more kind of like this. And they're like, oh, I don't really know. Like, how does that work? And you go, oh, this, this and this.

That's cool. Whereas if they were like, oh, video games are lame. Bye. That sucks. Yeah, it's okay. That's the conversation. At that point, it's like, don't keep trying to talk to people like that yeah and also yeah you suck bye the whole thing like being interested is just such good fucking advice but on top of that do not be afraid to

admit you don't know things because if you go oh cool and just like shut up because you don't know something that's lame if you pretend you know something that you don't that's lame if you're like i have no idea what you're talking about then they explain you learn something new you guys have fun like the amount of fucking conversations i have with people where i'm like i have no idea what you're talking about even if i feel dumb like if they're talking about some aspect of like nursing or whatever that like i'm just like is like do you spec like do you specialize are you like a general nurse like i actually don't know i'm sorry this is dumb i think it happens more commonly in like pop culture oh yeah if someone's like oh do you know exactly no times i hear and it's either either like two friends hanging out or usually on tinder dates where someone would be like uh you know what

kind of music are you into and someone's like oh i really like the frames and they're like oh yeah yeah yeah they're good oh do you like them yeah yeah no i know a few songs i probably couldn't you know i know if i heard them that's the most bullshit answer it's like you know what you've just said there i don't know who they are but i'm too afraid to tell you that i don't exactly and guess what that killed the conversation you fucking put it down on the ground you put a knife in the back of its neck and you just pushed it all the way through and now like you're just standing in this conversation's blood worrying about your socks because you wore white socks and now there's fucking blood on them i mean like the amount of shit i get because like i'm a film guy i went to school for acting i've i've worked in films um

i've i haven't seen a single godfather movie and when i say that people are like how could you not see it and it's like cool but like seen, you know, the original romantic comedy? Like, have you seen it happen one night? Which is like the movie that all romantic comedies are based off of? No. No. I have. I haven't.

I haven't even heard of it. And it's like, I don't really care about The Godfather. I could live my entire life and not see it. And I don't think I would live a lessened life because of it. Because I'm not interested in fucking mafia movies so like whatever i'm also not like the amount of times i haven't seen a single oscar movie yeah you're not allowed to say that though as a person who likes film this thing is like i'm like i'm not in this conversation to have a pissing contest if you want to tell me how much you love the godfather that's cool i'll listen to you but

don't try to be like it's not like a one-upmanship like oh you haven't read this is the the movie and you haven't seen it so i'm better and and here's the thing if you want if you want to like make friends be like cool let's watch it sometime yeah boom all of a sudden you now have plans with this person that you want to hang out with yeah and you had a fun conversation yeah and you'd be like oh look if you think it's that important let's get together grab a few beers and and like he said he wants to be man approachable or whatever be like yeah let's like let's grab a few beers fucking come over to my dorm room or wherever the fuck you are and let's fucking fucking watch grandfather same thing works for girls yeah and for being friends and for dating like if someone's like the exact same

process and be like cool let's you know it doesn't necessarily have to be a date or whatever be like cool let's i have a head of sweater let's go fucking you know the library or or the calf or wherever the fuck the quad yeah and and bring your fucking phone or even just be like hey can you send me like your two favorite songs then she sends you two youtube links you go listen to some fucking songs and you message back and guess what you have a conversation going again exactly like i used to do these are all like if you don't give a shit about other people they're not going to give a shit about you yeah i used to do a thing where i would go song for song with people yeah um and i was like it was also added bonus you get

new songs and shit it's awesome you develop as a person you get more interest and hey maybe you don't like them maybe you do but like you're open and you're there and it's good well we talked about it with the breakup last week where wink wink um you you know your relationships are are are really just sort of like what you build yourself it's like a give and take you know what i mean so like you you take little things from every relationship and it's not always you you know, big romantic relationships. It can literally be, you know, an interaction that you've had over the course of a night. But you might be able to be like, cool, I've literally found one of my favorite bands now. Or I have this song that means a lot to me now.

Or whatever. Maybe it's a song that inspires you to write something. And that's all through human interaction. So take a second and just absorb yeah you don't need to a lot of people have these like especially in like seduction and shit where everyone has like these these prompts that they like say and those are their moves but you're also hoping that they follow the script yeah and the second they don't or the second they're not interested in it pretty sure people can sense when you're on rails right yes if people know when you are when you're using a line

yeah people know that and it's painful so like we've always said the best pickup line is hello yeah that's all you need if you want to talk to someone just go up and talk to them yeah as if they're a human fucking being that you're interested in and also be interested in them if if you if you don't see them as either of those things if you don't see them as interesting or as human then you're fucked then then get the fuck out of here reevaluate your life and then try it again yeah because anyone that you talk to are both of those things yes and also like just don't be afraid to like you you don't like you don't have to be interesting you just need to be kind of like genuine because that is interesting. Like be honest about what you love.

Yeah. And like, hopefully they'll be the same and then care about what they love. And not everyone's going to like you. No, that's fine. That's just the rule. Some people are assholes. Sometimes you're going to strike out. Sometimes people aren't in the best mood.

You know what I mean? You might literally approach someone on the day their dog died. Yeah. And guess what? They're probably not going to be the nicest to you nicest or they might have just been fucking seductioned by four guys on the same street and then exactly they think you're coming up to just like hey you want to be my ex all stock on twitter no dan no dan get out of here um on top of that it's like some people just are are themselves insecure and weird so like i've had people be like oh you're into fantasy

novels okay and like walk off or be like oh you play dnd and like walk off it's like cool if you if you suck that much that's fine yeah i have no interest in being friends with you i know i love when people fucking like shade me for dng it's like hey when was the last time you got like your five best friends in the room and have dinner with them oh never cool i do that every week for like five years suck my dick yeah yeah like that's yeah but yeah good luck yeah we got violent but good luck you are not boring you are not this comes from grim grinning ghost 626 question. Spookstang. Does seeing your partner naked get boring when you're in a long-term relationship? No. No.

No. Nope. Nope. Yeah, I mean, like, I've... Wait, you said yeah? I've been seeing Amanda naked for, like, almost five years now. And I'm still very excited. Yeah, that's great.

I will... I almost have, like, a little... Like, a sixth sense to know when she's getting dressed in the morning. Oh, yeah. When I wake up for that brief moment and then back to bed. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. And a little, like a sixth sense to know when she's getting dressed in the morning. Oh, yeah. When I wake up for that brief moment and then back to bed. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. And that's like.

And you just say something like titties. And then you go back. It's great. I like to give Amanda a little wolf whistle. I usually do that. I like though. Not okay. Do what I want.

Well, he puts a little hard hat on. Well, the thing is, there's usually like one of the cats in the bed. So she thinks one of them is catcalling her. Oh, Nile joke, Nile joke, Nile joke. That was pretty good, actually. It was your funniest joke, I think. Thank you. I hope not.

Thank you for that honor. You won the Nile joke award. You finally did it. Like the last moment, too. I almost missed it. I know. I thought I was going gonna win this year oh man i did it i've never won thank you thank you very much um yeah no it's i don't know what else

to say like there are definitely times where there's like utilitarian nakedness like we're getting changed and we're in a hurry we're like oh we get in the shower because you know we're just showering and it's like it doesn't mean it's always like a fuck fest because when it's early it's almost the opposite where it's just it's nothing but arousing all the time and like i'd be asleep and wake up and be like well now i'm not now we have to sex we don't have to you know it's hyper hyperbolic new year's hyper oh it's new years guess what um yeah it's it's yeah i mean like i even when i'm not like even when i like there are times where i'm not like i gotta fuck but it's just like it's still fucking awesome you can just look like you can just enjoy just be like nice

like think of like i think that's i think that's honestly at this point in my relationship i think that is more my reaction it's just just like, just be like, yeah. Just yeah. God damn. Hell yeah. Think of it this way. You look to your left. You see your Ralph Wiggum teddy.

Has it gotten old? Its form still pleases you. Well. Right? I don't want to sexualize Ralph Wiggum here. I'm not sexualizing him. I'm just saying its form hasn't gotten boring. Those rounded soft ships oh god

that's gonna stay with me no i mean like i don't think like you look at porn tits don't get boring like no it doesn't it doesn't get old no it's a silly question yeah and that's not to say here's the thing that's not to say that you can't fall out of attraction with your partner no that is a very valid thing and and that that be grounds to, you know, or at least the beginning of the end of a relationship. You can definitely no longer find your partner attractive. If that happens, it happens. It sucks, but it might happen.

Well, of course, because the only other option would be like, no, you never stop finding someone attractive. That seemed like an insane thing to say. Of course you can fall out of attraction with somebody. You can also find that, like, as you... You can also grow in attraction. That's the thing. It's like, as you get to know someone, even if, like, as you get older, your bodies are probably not going to look as good as they did.

And I'm talking more like, you know, in your 50s and stuff stuff you know when when our bodies naturally start declining um but i'm sure that like if you've been together for a long enough time i'm sure there's so much there's so much history that is sort of you know fogging your lenses the rose tint is is the history of your relationship and that i think is probably like i was reading the comments and most of them were like guy was like i've been married to my wife for 15 years we've been together for 25 we're in our 60s and he's like i i still like am turned on by by seeing my wife get out of the shower of course and it's like there you go like it's and like the thing is like a body is just a thing you look at if you look at your partner you don't

just see that you see and you feel and you hear everything that they are and that you know times and you also know like when you have sex you know each other's bodies so well and that's already intertwined like it's a whole thing you look and you get everything yeah so it's like that's that's gonna be a lot so maybe, if you've been together for a long time and you got the old sag there or here, you still got a lot of weight on someone with just a body and that's it. Yeah. You know? So, I don't know.

I did one of the only reason I brought up the falling out of attractions because like, you know, we had that question about the breakup last week. A wink. And we keep winking because it was also today. We're not making a sly dig about this question uh we've recorded two in one day yeah because we weren't gonna record on christmas or were we that's how dedicated we are shit we fucking peeked behind the curtain um but it's it's a you know you don't i don't want people to feel pressured to think that like, if they're

in a long-term relationship that it has to succeed. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's not, not succeeding because of their body, presumably. Yeah. 90 times out of a hundred. You know what I mean? Like there's, there's these things, obviously we're not saying you never fall out of the

Yeah, you're a monster if you're no longer attracted to people. But at the same time, it's not like a, whoa, it's been three years. I'm bored with your body. Yeah. You don't wake up, it's not like, uh, whoa, it's been three years. I'm bored with your body. Yeah. You don't wake up one day and just like, huh? Yeah. I feel like some people feel that when they've met, like they worry about that when they haven't been in long-term relationships, especially when you're like younger and stuff.

Yeah. And I think we were both answering in that spirit. Yeah. I know I'm doubling up here, but I forgot we had a user submitted question that we didn't get to last week. Wink. I got another one one though hey guys it's new year's eve my girlfriend doesn't even want to have sex cheers cheers cheers okay this is from um a lovely user named agent nutcracker i chose that because it was supposed to be the christmas episode um my boyfriend and i have been dating for three years the last year has been super rough for both of us we have a christmas episode um my boyfriend and i have been dating for three years the last year

has been super rough for both of us we fight a lot we almost never have sex anymore and it's very obvious that we have run our course however my boyfriend is very passive i know that if i don't end it he never will i know that i need to break up with him but won't get a good opportunity until march the holidays are really rough for him his mom died when he was a young teenager and that really affects him this time of year. The anniversary of her death and her birthday are both in January. Then it's Valentine's Day. Then it's his birthday at the

end of February. Do I stick it out, wait for a time where it'll hurt less, or do I just rip the band-aid off? You dump him in October. Yeah, I mean... No, that's rough because the thing is you're not really doing anyone much favor by staying in a relationship you don't want to be in. Yeah.

That's the thing. If you're counting the days until March to break up with them, guess what? You've checked out. And that's going to suck for both of you so hard. That's four months of fucking pain. It's going to suck so hard. But at the same time, totally fair. Yeah.

It's easy to sit back and be like no i oh it's oh just like do it it's better for both of you but like no one wants to be that person that dumped someone on their mom's anniversary like the week before christmas and two weeks before their mom died before their birthday yeah like it's oh i feel like the weak link in this chain is the fact that this person thinks it's okay to break up with someone before St. Patrick's Day you gotta wait till April

but then there's Easter you gotta wait till May June, Summer can't tell someone in Summer don't want to be sad with a sunburn then it's Canada Day then it's the American day yeah fuck that's the american one it's august okay you gotta wait till august there's nothing in august huh

nope there's family day oh i'm pretty sure family day is in august um september september i think is the day but it's winter so you want to have some... Oh, God, winter. In Ireland it is. I know, what I really think is, like, Valentine's Day probably isn't as big of a deal as anything else. So I guess, and this is a really shitty sentence I'm about to say, it depends how late the mom died in January. Because you don't want to do it, like, the day after. But if it's early January, I think the end of january is okay well that's his mom's birthday was like end of january i thought it was start of january no i thought it was within

two weeks of christmas no his mom died in the beginning of january and his mom's birthday is in the end of january or vice versa yeah okay i don't know could you maybe just like sit you know what how about maybe talking about your relationship yeah and being like hey things haven't been working because i do think saying he's passive and won't break up with you i think that's like you don't know that this person wants to break up with you honestly yeah and that's also a sign that like chances are he's not bringing up any issues that might be if he's if he's not gonna break up with you he probably also isn't gonna be like hey i'm this is how i'm feeling about this yeah you know this regards to our relationship so like the thing is if you talk about it there

are two options and one is that you both agree that you shouldn't be in a relationship which isn't the same as dumping someone because one is pretty blindsidey and the other one is kind of an agreement yeah and like if he honestly wants to as you think which i worry you may be wrong um then if he wants to then maybe it could actually be a good thing where you both talk and you don't have to slug it or slug it out maybe for four months because you say you're fighting and it's not gonna get better now that you're checked out and you're you're staying for reasons that are one day if the fight gets too bad like yeah all it takes is for you to say like the only reason i didn't leave you already is because your mom died you know what i mean like that that's not

that's then you've done more damage yeah that's you know what i mean you should be using a chisel in this situation and you just use the sledgehammer and if that person ever like no one wants to hear oh i've been with you for four months or any amount of time yeah because i felt bad for you yeah that's that's a fucking knife to the heart so you could never say that to him also yeah during this period or afterwards you just don't be like i stay with you just you know that's not gonna help anybody no so please don't do that um but like maybe just have a talk and like best case you give it like because i get it you really can't you no one wants to be that person dump someone christmas dump someone on their mom's anniversary i think you have a very brief window between after Christmas and New Year's before it hits

January. You have a very brief window, I think, to have this conversation, this very earnest conversation where you sit down and you say sort of like, hey, we are not in a good place. Yeah. You know what I mean? And let's just talk about it. Be like, we fight all the time. We're fighting all the time.

We aren't having sex, if that's an important thing for you which i assume it is because you mentioned yeah um and just sort of like just be like i don't i don't know how we're going to fix this or and if and if you don't want to like there's nothing saying that you have to repair this if you want out you're allowed to want out um and like if you have this talk it's as possible that they say you know what you're right i think we should end this and maybe like maybe that'll be good for them you know what i mean maybe it'll be nice to be free you know what i mean like i will also add i didn't add it but she sent it in the next like another email that i didn't or like a message that i didn't copy um she does

mention that like she still obviously very much cares for him and loves him um i just want to throw that out there. It's not all hostile. No, no, I figured. It sucks when a relationship is kind of on its last legs like that. And breaking up with someone is always hard, especially when you do obviously care for them and have this weight of history behind you.

But other option is maybe you guys actually have a good talk and you actually try to take steps towards fixing this relationship. And's good in two ways because one maybe it works yeah and maybe you guys actually communicate and get through it two maybe it starts to work and you figure it out and then you almost and this probably sounds really callous it's like you have a trial period until yeah the time's a little bit of a buffer zone, yeah. Because that's the thing. Because it's not just you mutely suffering until then. It's you having a talk, which might end in it just dissolving. Or it might be like, okay, let's try it. And even if it's worst case and you still need to break up in thing, then I think three months of actually trying is going to be...

Yeah, and never being put in instead of phoning it in. And also, when it gets there, you can you can be like look it didn't work and that's i think a lot more nice to hear a lot nicer to hear than just i don't know what's been waiting yeah like you know that's three months we tried right if it does sort of crumple like you you know his issues with his mom probably better than most people maybe a section of like maybe a best friend or family um there's no harm if you guys still care about each other there's no harm to sort of like call it quits go your separate ways but still be like hey i'm here for you like you're not going to deal with this alone like i will i will be here for you this month yeah

it it doesn't you know that connection doesn't just end yeah unless he wants it to yeah um and i still don't think there's any harm if you know what i mean if he takes it poorly or reacts strongly because of all this i still don't think there's any harm in in sending him a message during january and just being like hey you know i know things aren't the best between us right now but i i really wanted to check in and make sure you're okay yeah i do think if if because things are weird and if he then does appeal for help in january i just think the only thing to be wary of is like boundaries like no yes kind of where you want to no staying over well no if you don't want to right yeah but you don't want to if he still wants the relationship and you don't like either give

them false hope and hurt them more or allow yourself to be like i don't want to say emotionally blackmailed because it might not even be overt but like feel bad for someone and do something you don't want to do yes you know what i mean like you need to probably have your own like boundaries firmly in place before you do engage just to kind of save both of you. Yeah. Yep. Um, um, but yeah, this is, this is a tough, tough situation and I, and I don't gel or I don't envy you at all.

Um, but, uh, good luck. Um, just remember that you, you do care for him. Yeah. Remember that overall. I will say, yeah. And try if things get heated or weird like try to take the higher road because it's all too easy to fall into a screaming match but like this person's dealing with a lot of shit as you know obviously yeah yeah it's easy to like

especially if if it gets personal it's easy to change your tactic to just want to hurt someone even like inadvertently exactly yeah or you know heat in the moment we all do stupid shit yeah um so so yeah really really go in with a level head and and just promise yourself you'll breathe through uh any antagonistic comments um because you'll be doing yourself and them a favor all right i think that going to do it for the night. You got one more? Yeah, it's a New Year's one. Alright, let's do it. This is by FG556.

It's New Year's and my girlfriend doesn't even want to have sex. Cheers! Pegging. Wife agreed to peg me first time New Year's Eve but just asked me if I will suck the strap on first. Not sure how to react to this. I was very hesitant to ask my wife to peg me because I was worried the strap on first. Not sure how to react to this. I was very hesitant to ask my wife to peg me because I was worried she might think I was gay. When I told she was,

when I told she said she was okay with it and that she understood that feels good for some men, I thought she was referring to the prostate. I told her I was worried she might think I was gay. Then last night she asked me if I'm getting excited about New Year's and I said yes and then she asked if I'm going to suck the strap on for her before she pegs me. I was kind of like, I wasn't planning on it. And she kind of pouts and says she really wanted to see me suck it. Then says you can admit it if you want to, you know. I mean, I'm going to be fucking you.

I just thought you might want to suck it. What the fuck? Now I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm gay. Why else does she think I want to suck the strap on? Hmm. sure she thinks i'm gay why else does she think i want to suck the strap on hmm you know i was gonna say like it's the word you can admit it which is she talking about admitting she want you want to suck the strap on or admitting that you're gay okay i assume the him worrying that she'll think he's gay is just him dealing with years of ingrained like homophobia not necessarily his but just society right like you know like you're it's we've all felt it at some point you know what i mean like growing up and you there's certain things you can't look or you're

gay i'm pretty sure the fact that this person very readily agreed to this she understands that he's not gay that it's a pleasurable thing for man i imagine that she probably is like and again maybe this is a a wrong reading of this she was probably like oh shit he's into this fantasy maybe she looked up some videos and i'll bet you in every pegging porn video he probably sucked it and the thing is pegging is a lot. It's like a submissive thing, right? Yeah. It's a, it's very much a femdom thing. Yeah, exactly. As is, you know, stuff like, you know, sucking a strap on and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Alternatively, maybe it's her fetish to be that domination. So that is what I'm thinking is that like, you know, for years she's been on the one on her knees and like looking up and she might just be

like, Hey, you know, it'd be fucking cool if we just switch these roles around and like i get to fuck you in the face and fuck you in the ass it's like and she might also think it plays into his fantasy of this submissive thing like maybe you know i don't know exactly what it is about this that is getting him but for there's a lot of other things that are kind of like peripheral to it some of it is being submissive some of it is like and someone being submissive. Some of it is like, and some of being submissive is like, for example, like sucking on a strap on.

So like, I don't think it's as bad as maybe he thinks it is. Yeah, no. Like I said, it's the, the, you can admit it part that kind of concerns me. Cause I don't,

I don't know what she's referring to. And I don't know if it's being filtered through his fear that he, you know what I mean? Yeah. Did she actually say it, or is that what he interpreted? Thought she implied. Yeah. Yeah. Because it seems like that's a very big worry.

So I think before New Year's rolls around, I think you should have another conversation and just be like, hey, this is what we're dealing with. And I don't think you need to be like, oh, I'm not gay. That conversation is going to get... She probably knows. Yeah. I assume that... Because, like, having butt stuff done to you does not make you gay. No.

What you do sexually does not make you gay. No. Being gay makes you gay. Yeah. Yes. If you have sexual and romantic attractions towards men, then you are gay. Or people of the same gender yes yeah um yeah no it's it's a stupid thing that should be jettisoned into the sun like this

thought that like i did this i'm gay like no yeah no sherry fondled of ralph wiggum teddy i'm sorry um yeah that's the thing like and also it could be that she senses his hesitance about the situation because if you're with if you're a partner with someone you can tell when they're asking something that's a little like hard for them to ask yeah so maybe in all honesty she's like thinks that that's something he wants to do and it's like it's okay like if you could admit like it's very possible that she's trying to just have us back yeah and it worries me that like this person's in this like tumble when they're ostensibly like being a good partner and trying to like you know so i think i think it's what you should do when you try any new i don't

want to call this a kink but um any sort of new yeah i guess um any sort of new sort of sexual adventure sit down and figure out what you guys want to do, what isn't cool, what is cool, what you're, like, you know, have a yes, a no, and a maybe column. And when you reach a maybe, check in. Be like, can I do this? Or would you like this? Or, you know, if you're the one receiving, be like, could you try this?

And, like, don't be afraid to let them know your insecurities like you can even afterwards be like hey it's really cool that you want to do like and you can like laugh and be like i know i was just like worried you'd like think weirdly about me asking or whatever and then that could be their window to be like i was actually kind of like wondering where it came from and you could be like i don't know i just hear it feels good or like i don't know i just want to be submissive for once or anything yeah you know what i mean like open like don't know. I just hear it feels good. Or like, I don't know. I just want to be submissive for once or anything. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like open, like, don't be afraid to admit your fears about the thing.

And also if someone asks you if you want something, just be like, oh no, I'm not into that. It doesn't have to be like this. Oh no. What do they think? Cause also it could be her fetish. No, I'm sorry. I'm not into that. Yeah.

And then there you go. Now you're, now you're getting pegged the way you want to be pegged. So there you go. So that one guy can't even get his girlfriend to have sex with him. Yeah. And then there you go. Now you're getting pegged the way you want to be pegged. So there you go. That one guy can't even get his girlfriend to have sex with him. Yeah, cheers. And this other guy's girlfriend is literally fucking up the ass. Like, what's happening with the world? This poor guy still can't have sex.

Cheers. Cheers. Thank you very much for listening. We're excited for 2020. Yeah. I feel like we've had this conversation, and I think 2020 is going to be a big year for us. Mm-hmm. And we're excited. 2020. I feel... We've had this conversation and I think 2020 is going to be a big year for us.

Mm-hmm. And we're excited... That's all because of you guys. Oh, also, fucking shout out to Cyprus. Oh, yeah. We're the number one sexuality podcast in Cyprus.

Hell yeah, guys. If you're a Cyprus listener, give us, like, send us a message because you're the best. Please let us know. We're also literally 120th of all podcasts in

cyprus yeah that's pretty good yeah fuck you joe rogan we're coming for you we're coming bud uh that's pretty wild we also yeah we've also shot up a thousand spaces in america so top 200 baby we're doing all right so uh thank you very much it's been a great year we've done a lot of milestones that we didn't really think we were we were aiming for um but we we got there and it's like now said it's it's all because you guys and we we get in this closet and sweat for you every week um sometimes twice twice in a week um or twice in a day twice in one night maybe we have lost 90 of the water in our bodies and are starting to loosen it and And we do it because we love doing it and because we love you guys. So thank you very much for all the support you've given us this year.

And we look forward to doing big things with you and for you next year. Yeah. Like, honestly, every message we've been sent by people have just been, like, overwhelmingly positive and very nice. And, like, you guys are really cool. I don't know how it's happened that we've managed to just find all the cool people on the internet. People have just been, like, overwhelmingly positive and very nice. And, like, you guys are really cool. I don't know how it's happened that we've managed to just find all the cool people on the internet. But it's awesome. And we appreciate it a lot.

I don't want to say all the cool people. Not all of them, but so far. We have gotten a few messages from a few folks. Yeah, but I don't even count them as, because they're not messages to us. They're messages to our fictional, I guess, prostitution ring? Or whatever they think we have? I don't even count them as, because they're not messages to us. They're messages to our fictional, I guess, prostitution ring or whatever they think we have. I don't know. Anyway, I appreciate it, guys. So thank you. If you want to reach out to us for any reason, you can find us on Facebook at facebook.com slash fckbuddiespodcast.

You can find us on Twitter at fck underscore buddies. You can shoot us an email at fbuddiespodcast at gmail.com or you can find us on the internet at fbuddiespodcast.com Thank you Josh Eagle and the Harvest Cities for their song Paper Stars. Alrighty,

move some of that sex writing. This seems like a Dane one. You ready? This is The River Capture by Mary Costello. He clung to her

crying and then made love to her and went far inside her and she begged him to go deeper and no longer afraid of injuring her he went deep in mind and body among crowded organ cavities past the contours of her lungs and liver and whoa shimmying past her heart he felt her perfection holy shit man's got the longest most nimble dick ever that's not how you do it what are you saying you don't stick your dick in and then just let it

shimmy past the heart through her fucking organs and shimmy past the heart shimmy that's such a bizarre term to use uh yeah that's that's it you ready for a Dan yeah I mean I'm never ready for a Dan, but I guess we got to do it. Dan says, how'd you get your ex back after begging and pleading?

Oh, Dan. Um, this is going to be our last Pornhub comment for the, the year. Um, and this comes from Pornhub user DickyDicky86. Oh, shit. Wish my yoga class was like this. But instead there's just Fat Janice who struggles to breathe, let alone bend. Oh, no.

Oh, no. I'm getting this negativity out. 2020 is all about positivity, baby. Well, can I burn that i mean his instagram not him there's twitter not him in real life wink my name is day miller and i'm not spain and is that the new year approaching it is 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Happy New Year! Happy New Year!

We are Fug Buddies. And we love you. Bye. Bye. See you next year. © BF-WATCH TV 2021