F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 75 - Gag The Raven, Nevermore

Episode Date: March 2, 2020

We get wild pretty much right off the bat in this one, friends.  This episode is all about that cool, cool penis energy and not at all about Nazi pubes.  Topics include loud parent sex, a nefarious neighbour, canceling a date and skipping straight to sex, a deodorant dick spray, pre-blowjob showers, we attempt sex writing, an effeminate voice, bailing on a date when they run late.

I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love Hello friends, my name is Dane Miller And I'm Niiles Payne. And we are your fuck buddies. Uh oh.

Uh oh. Yeah, it's not like we do this every week. Not worth it. Not worth it. Not worth the trouble. We're not doing whiskey today, so. Yeah, how's it going? It's good.

Things are going well. Excellent. I'm obsessed with dreams oh man you want here some fucking oh you meant that the game yes um but i mean please tell me i've had the same recurring nightmare twice in a week and then the first one i was on a bus and the bus ran over two children hell yeah slowly and just drove off and their parents parents were, like, freaking out, and we were all like, dude, like, you fucking hit some children, you gotta stop, and he just wouldn't. So eventually, like, the police pulled him over, and it was, like, horrifying.

Then later on in the week... Wait, what's the nightmare? That the kid survived. Oh. Yeah. No, but later on in the week, exact same thing, apart from my dad picked me up from work, and then he slowly mowed down two kids again. But yeah, why?

Why do I keep having that dream? What does it mean? What does it mean? What kids am i killing slowly um well maybe each kid is a testicle let me let me combine my knowledge of dreams the the game creation tool that just came out on ps4 and dreams the thing that we have when we're asleep and i'm assuming what this is trying to tell you is that uh a poorly animated shrek is going to be put into a mario 64 level okay so it's not all bad no okay great all right i'm gonna i'm gonna start us off with i'm gonna kick up like sometimes it's a slow burn sometimes whatever this is just gonna we're gonna

launch in full throttle okay we're hitting nos we're like the fast and furious podcast edition this is the point where we hit nos and we win the race with the thing that presumably every car has, but it only works as well on one car for reasons. Yep. So this is why our podcast is the best, because we use our NOS in a way that other podcasts just don't. Yeah. But then our floorboards fall off.

Fuck yeah. Cool. Let's do it. This is by Throra514911. How do I ask my parents to be a little more quiet in bed? This is a really awkward situation and has been going on for a while, but I'm 15 and I feel like something has to be done. I can basically hear my parents doing it every weekend.

It's horrible to listen to, and yes, I could get earbuds or earplugs, but I want to sleep without those in my ears. I can hear everything from moaning to slapping and sometimes gagging too and it really sucks oh yes it does really suck there you go welcome to the podcast game i you know you know how you fucking fix this problem you run in and be like is everything okay and be like oh no i heard something And be like, oh, no. I heard something. Look. I heard slapping and gagging.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, what you need. Okay. It's going to be a process. You have to sign up for, like, lifeguard lessons. Get your CPR certificate. And just constantly talk about how now after you've done the training, your biggest fear is that you will ever have to use it.

And anytime anyone, like, coughs or seems to choke, like, get really intense about it. And then build this up and make it, like, you know, a thing. Tell them that the first module is in hearing the sounds of choking, even from a distance, even through walls. Yeah. And that you have to instantly run in. Yeah. a distance even through walls yeah and that you have to instantly run in yeah so like just the second you then then you know what i mean you hear that gagging noise you burst in because you hear the slapping as well which you think might be maybe them slapping them on the back which isn't something you're not supposed to exactly joking yeah or just a really limp heimlich so like it's

it's not going to be the solution isn't great for you the solution is going to be... The solution isn't great for you. The solution is going to be worse than the problem. Because you're moving from hearing to witnessing, to maybe being in the spray zone. To seeing it, yes. You're going into the danger zone. However, it'll stop the problem. Yeah. So it's like sometimes you've got to...

You will effectively ruin your parents' physical carnal relationship. Like the way sometimes to heal a sunburn, you've got to light your arm on fire first. Yes. However, if you don't want to scald your eyeballs, same kind of energy though. Just like linger near the room, right? And you can do this two ways. You can either, if it's at night, breakfast time is ideal.

Or if it's like at any other point and you can just be in the hallway when they, you know, go to the bathroom or whatever. And you go to your dad and you're like nice sex and try high five him uh and i'm assuming that's gonna weird him out a lot so he's gonna either back down or if you do it during breakfast the mom 100 is not gonna want her husband high-fiving her son over their nice sex or just make it make maybe they're the most sex positive parents ever and they're just like thank son, for appreciating our dirty nighttime acts. Yeah, shit. So here's, okay, look. You got to out awkward them.

This is war. That's it. Fight fire with fire. Burn your arm to heal. You now need to masturbate as loud as fucking possible. You got to. Yes. Oh, yeah, hand.

You're doing it. You're doing a great job, hand! Yeah! You need to develop a new fetish. Don't use headphones for your porn. Oh, no. Use the Google Home. Oh, man, do they have a speaker you can cast your porn to?

Yeah. To their room. Yeah. Alexa, could you play Butt Sluts 8 on the parents' bedroom? Please play Michael's wank track could i generate a nude dane uh yeah you need to out awkward them i feel like you need to develop a fetish for recording or broadcasting your own fap sounds into a microphone uh and then if they ever try and shame you like that's kink shaming one but two i thought we were down with letting people

hear our wet meat sounds. Yeah, I thought that's what we did in this house. Is that not what we do in this house, Dad? Then you just yell, I learned it from listening to you. I think you just live in hell now. There's no solution to this. I think you have to be the first 15-year-old to move out. Obviously not the first 15-year-old.

No, the only 15 year old ever you're the chosen one yeah i think you need to put yourself up for adoption just start from scratch wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait real real talk yes adoption no uh you develop like learn the drums because when you get a drum kit, put it in your room, they're gonna just hate that forever, and then you're like, shit,

I guess I gotta soundproof my room. Wink. Then you've got a, a sex-free vacuum, where you can't hear your parents' wet meat. And you can just wail on some fucking drums. Exactly, yeah.

Um. And then you'll get buff arm muscles, when you exact revenge for the torture they put you through. Yeah, I don't. I think. Because like you could maybe if you don't want to bring it up with them, then soundproofing your room will hopefully stop you hearing them. Yeah. But I think you got to talk like.

Look, you're 15. Literally everything you do is the worst thing that happens and yeah it's the most awkward uncomfortable thing that happens like there's no 15 year old who is suave oh god no no matter how the ones that think they are are the least suave yeah and even the ones who are considered suave by their 15 year old peers are not like compared to real people yeah in in the scope of adulthood and real life you're not um so i think you need to like if you're closer to with one or the other and i think this might be an easier conversation you gotta go dad i think you have to talk to dad i don't know maybe

your mom is super cool but like you gotta go dad um you know what there's also like you probably text them if you have like if you physically can't have this conversation yeah i don't think your parents would be upset if you took a less personal approach to this yeah i don't think no no one's gonna be like wow that was really something you should have done in person yeah nobody um and like or you know here's depending on the other sounds involved like if there's a bed moving or like anything like that maybe you could like because it's i'm not gonna lie it would be just the literal worst thing to be like i can hear mom gagging on your dick that's a terrible thing to say however if you're like you're can hear your bed, like, wink?

Like, don't get it, but you don't have to talk about his dick choking, blocking your mom's air hole. Yeah. Right? Like, can we just take a second and just say, like, you have a 50-year-old kid and you're fucking still getting down? Hell yeah. Good job. They're 34, 35. The parents.

So. Okay. Like, that's our age, nearly. I know, but still, like... That's you, Dave. Having a teenage son is usually the... That's you. The bed killer.

Yeah, that's why. This is why. We all thought it was bad, and I was like, no, this is the bad option. This is the dark timeline. Here's... Yes, if you can't have this conversation, which I think... That's fair. ...is an option.

I get it. I totally get it. Start playing music. Because if they start getting the hints, you know what I mean? The second they start fucking going to Pound Town, all of a sudden, you know, Papa Roach, Last Resort,

starts playing in your room, and it's gotta be the same fucking song. It's gotta be the same song. Oh, it's gotta be, like, something even more depressing. How could this happen to me? Or the sound of silence, maybe? Yeah, the disturbed cover. Or nothing but child choruses, because those are a boner killer every time.

Yeah, but if you start playing, they will get the hint. No, see, the thing is, right, these people are gagging so loudly, their son can hear them from down the hint. No, see, the thing is, right, these people are gagging so loudly, their son can hear them from down the hallway. So you know what these fucking perverts are going to do? They're like, hey, he's playing music. Let's actually fuck at the normal volume we usually would. Then you're going to hear it even over the sound of silence. I mean that as in the song, not silence.

Well, it's an attempt. It might be a signal of being like, I can hear you and I don't want to. No, but that is true. It's like if you play loud music every time they do that, and only then, they hopefully will get the idea. It's late at night. Yeah. You know what I mean? And then if they ever like, what are you doing?

Be like, what are you doing? Yeah. Actually, don't tell me. I don't want to know what you're doing. Yeah. Just be like, I could ask you that question. You're what are you doing? Yeah. Actually, don't tell me. I don't want to know what you're doing. Yeah. Just be like, I could ask you that question. You're going to answer it? Cool.

Go back to your fucking room. You're grounded. Ground them. No, that's just more time in the room alone. True. Shit. Ground one of them. Put one on the naughty stare.

Yeah. Like either loud music until they get the hint. A roundabout way like i can you guys were loud just yeah just be like it's just like you euphemize it make a euphemism be like you guys were loud or i can hear the bed or like something because you don't no one wants to say here you guys just fucking just raw dogging i can just hear you just slinging hogs or you know maybe ask them when your brother's coming. Every time I'm like, do I have a brother yet?

So is it going to be a boy or a girl? Is that good, good sex? Yeah. I don't know. Either out awkward them or this is a tough cross to bear, but we're here for you. Here's a question. Are we sticking spicy dang? Fuck. Did we do this question?

This comes from a Reddit user. is it, is too late? Is he nefarious? I don't think we have. He was my stalker, a married man. I have a previous post about him. Today he was at my neighbor's house, laughing with him, a rainy day. Me and my parents' car in the back seat, his car next to us, rain falling on car windows. He was looking insistently.

This is definitely Better Batch, right? He was looking insistently through drops at my window from his window. He friendly saluted me, waving his hand, with a face suggesting, forgive me. Is he dangerous? Again? Is he dangerous again? Yes. He was her stalker.

Okay, it's Better Batch, right? It's not. No. It comes from Reddit users. It's too late. It's not Better Batch. It still is, though. The cadence,

the fact that this makes no sense, it's shot like a weird, trippy, like, student film that, like, thinks they're smarter than they are. Yeah. How old is this person if they're in their parents' car? I don't know. Because they sound really young. I think than they are. Yeah. How old is this person if they're in their parents' car? I don't know.

Because they sound really young. I think they are young. Ugh. Yeah. He was your stalker. But I guess, other than... I couldn't find the other post for, like, context. But, like, other than the fact that he was in a car adjacent to you when it was raining,

there's no... There's nothing. there's no content he laughed with a neighbor and then he well the one here's the fucking red flag how is he waving a hand if he saluted that's a terrible salute like that's a flappy salute so i don't know he's just a really silly soldier. Yeah, it's whoo! Maybe he's not a stalker. Maybe he's like a kid's TV show character. Oh, maybe he's like a kid's TV show bodyguard. You know what I mean? It's like, oh, here comes, you know, private silly salute.

Yeah. But he's stuck in a real world neighborhood. And like, as the child, you're the only one who can, you know, who's got the imagination to bring him back to, you know, everyone else is just trying to like, not comment on what they perceive as mental illness. And the child's like,

I see that I've seen through this shit. They're like, no, just leave Mr. Silly. Silly. He's like, no,

there's something wrong here. They're like, you can't say that. It's 2020. Claire shit like that. I can't say that. Please. He's like, no, there's something wrong here. They're like, you can't say that. It's 2020, Claire. You can't say shit like that. You can't say that. Please. He's our neighbor.

Is he in the ferry? Again? No. Yeah. What? Let me read this shit again. He's looking at raindrops? That's terrifying.

No, he's looking at her raindrops through the raindrops on his car window. It's almost like a slam poetry. Yeah, and it literally is a face suggesting forgive me is he dangerous again they again's the best part of the whole fucking thing uh i think i don't know you've got you've got at least the metal of two cars between you you're safe but here's the thing also the cleansing power of rain we're just gonna i'm gonna strip this down to the bare bones of he was my stalker. Yeah,

don't trust this fucker. Like, there's no reason. If someone was stalking you, Yeah. chances are, like, it very rarely ends

with them being like, I'm okay, like, all done. Even if they were, if they somehow saw the error of their ways, there's no reason

why they should ever be near you. Like, you don't ever have to forgive them. Especially if you're younger and they're older. Yes. You know, as a married man who is now like, you know, creeping on a, I assume a teenager.

Yeah. That's horrendous. No. So like best case scenario, he has realized the error of his ways and whatever. So it does not fucking matter though, because he should be nowhere near you. Yeah. And if he is trying to get near you under the pretense that he is now not stalking you, that's just like textbook being a shit bag who's still stalking you yep so either way get away from this weird poetry villain my my answer is yes he is nefarious again do we do this one we'll see

this by the divine hustle girl i'm interested in dating confess she wants to have sex so long story short a girl i'm interested in actually dating and being with confess to me via text she wants to cancel our date plans she just wants me to come over and have sex well i definitely want to have sex with her i want more than that lol should i just go over and then tell her how i feel or does this mean that maybe she's not interested in the relationship and just wants a sexual relationship? I wish I had a little bit more to chew on here. Here's my thing.

Sometimes, like, if you guys haven't had sex yet, and this is a fairly, like, he said they are dating or someone he's interested in dating. I think, like, from what I'm gleaning from this, it's like they're seeing each other. I don't know if it's, like, second, third date or, like, tenth, twelfth date kind of thing. But he feels like he wants to have a relationship and he's worried that just being invited over for

sex means she doesn't yeah i mean this is this is like you're at that stage in your relationship where you now define those parameters like that is that's the time you know like and it's it doesn't necessarily have to be, like, you saying, I want to be exclusive with you. But, like, there's no harm in sort of stating your intentions of being like, hey, I really like you. And while I'm in no rush to, you know, get into anything, I would like to, you know, in the future.

I don't want it to be just sex. Yeah, I'm looking for something a little bit more than just a casual hookup. Um, and then, you know, you suss it out from there. You just have to make sure that you're, you're clear with what you want because it would suck to be like,

well, I'm interested in a relationship. And if she's only interested in a sexual relationship and then neither of you talk about that. Yeah. Then when it finally reaches then neither of you talk about that yeah then when it finally reaches its peak of you being like so i would like to be with you and she's oh well that's not what this is yeah and it's like well cool you've just spent however long climbing this mountain together and realizing it's like neither of you want the fucking same thing yeah um totally

agree however like i and again i wish we knew more because depending on how long you have been like going out or seeing each other whatever like if it's like the second or third time like i think it's a little soon to be like well you want sex but what about relationship because i think they're gonna be like yeah bye yeah that's kind of terrifying uh so for me unless again if it was like a long like if you guys have been seeing each other for a while even then it's like sometimes you just want to stay home and fuck, you know, it might not be such a bad thing. Like maybe they just didn't want to go out.

Maybe they're just super horny. Like it doesn't necessarily mean it's like, go have sex. Cause that's fun. Um, and like, maybe like if it's a consistent pattern of like, you try and do something and they're like, let's just fuck, then you can be like, whatever. Like once, cause either way, you're still seeing each other you're still developing a relationship like depending on how well you know them or how long this is going on like that's the information we really need to know because if you're still getting to know each other i think

you could terrify someone off by being like yeah i want a date because you know that can be really early yeah no it's a good point doesn't even sound like they've fucked yet so well i assume they haven't yeah yeah i mean it could be a number that like maybe she's never had sex before and maybe she just kind of wants to like get it out of the way yeah you know what i mean um and maybe that's her moment of just being like you know what fuck it i'm let's say maybe let's get it out of the way let Let's do it. And then. And not even in a bad way. Maybe like she wants it and like she doesn't want to go through like you go out and then there's like the awkward like do we, don't we, get you back.

Like, well, maybe she's like, come over. We'll fuck. Like, that's what we're doing tonight. Not like that's what we might do later after what we do, what we're doing. Exactly. And like on top of that, maybe she wants to like not risk like after food and going out and having drinks, like coming home and not being as free, you know,

like maybe, you know, some people like to have a shower and like be fresh and like as sexy as they can be, especially on the first time. Right. Maybe she's worried if she goes out, she'll get a little smelly or something,

you know, a little BO. Yeah. Maybe you guys were going to go dancing or like something. I don't know. So I wouldn't freak out immediately if it's, if it's a constant, uh, yeah, I think that's the important thing. You know, like if it's always like you try and make plans and she's like,

yeah, but actually come over and just fuck. Yeah. If you keep being like setting up dates and like, she's agreeing to them and then like the night of or an hour before she's like, you know what, just come over and dick me into the mattress. Like, you know, let's just do that. And also like when you are talking to someone there is a big difference between i want to date and i want to like i don't want to not date you know what i mean maybe i'm maybe i'm phrasing that wrong no i think i know what you're saying there's i want to date right now and there's i think this could lead towards something and i want to see where it goes yeah you know what i mean because like i want to date right now is definitely,

I think, that's the wrong, well, it's way too fucking soon. If you're not sure what's going on and she's canceling, like, that is not the time to become exclusive

because you have no idea. So, but I mean, some people can be clumsy when they say these things. So it's like, if you're explaining it to someone, they might get the,

I want to date right now vibe off you. Yeah. Instead of the, like, I don't want this to be just sex i'd like to see where it goes yeah you know but yeah definitely like if you're ever confused have a conversation like try and set parameters because if you don't i guess you're gonna be hurt like we we've talked about it a bunch don't drop the what are we that's not stay no that's not cool because that's what

you're looking for that's attractive state your intention state state what you want and then they can state what they want yeah you know what i mean but to then to put the like what are we question on people it's then becomes plays the guessing game yeah and the likelihood of you getting a truthful answer is is so rare because they're it's're guessing what they need to say to you in order to maintain what they want from you. And it's like, well, that's not an answer. It's like you're putting all the pressure on somebody else. To define your relationship when there's two of you.

Yeah, when one, you're the one who's in the... Needs definition. Yeah, you're the one that needs definition. And two, you're prepared because you've been thinking about it all week. Yeah. They're just thinking about your sweet, sweet clit or your dick yeah or your shy butthole like they're not they're not ready and you're just literally like pulling a gun out and being like hey answer this it's not fair so be like hey i love what we're doing i actually really like you and i would kind of like

to you know i don't want this to be just sex. And see what they say. Yeah. You know? I'm going to segue in. You mentioned a shower. This comes from Reddit user ImpossibleWedding7. Is it too much to ask? What is an impossible wedding? I don't know, but she's gone through six of them. Is it too much to ask guys to shower before I give them a blowjob?

Yeah. I'm a virgin. Next question. And I've never given a blowjob, but I want to make sure it doesn't taste bad when I finally do try it. I know porn is unrealistic, but guys in the videos usually just unzip their pants and she'd go down on them immediately. I want guys to shower before a blowjob so I don't have to taste urine.

But should I really ask them to shower before every blowjob? I feel like there's a level of you're fine. Like you have a shower. I think there's a gap in knowledge. Oh yeah. A hundred percent. Like dicks aren't just inherently pissy. Yeah.

Like unless, I mean like unless you have a just poor skin that like you just do not know how to maintain or like. If you're practicing like pretty basic hygiene stuff. Yeah. Yeah, if you're practicing pretty basic hygiene stuff, short of getting right out of a gym session, letting all that sweat just dry and leaving it a few hours. This is something, I box on Tuesday nights and while I was changing last night, I saw three or four dudes spray their dick with deodorant. What? That can't be good for you deal with your dick that's what I was like I I use like roll deodorant and I know you spray deodorant and I was like is that a thing no because I'm like there's also have you ever like walk by someone who sprays and like you get it like in your mouth yes like whatever even just

in the air yeah imagine going down the dick and well listen I'm like the only reason you would do that is presumably because you're going to reveal your dick to someone in the air. Yeah. Can you imagine going down the dick and it tastes like deodorant? Well, listen, I'm like, the only reason you would do that is presumably because you're going to reveal your dick to someone in the near future. I guess. Right? Or you're just worried your dick smells. But, like, also. But that's the other thing.

It's like, my dick, like, is smelly dick. Like, I know, look, I know, you know, the sweat and everything. It doesn't make a pleasant aroma. Well. But, like, I've never, like, I've never smelt my dick through clothes. No, God, no. During, you know what I mean? Like, that, I don't. I've never like I've never smelt my dick through clothes during you know what I mean

like that I don't so it's like if you're what are you doing yeah I feel like if you practice general

I just wasn't sure if that was like you know cause he gave like everyone did like you know armpit armpit chest and then like

and open the underwear like just a quick little is that a thing I don't know I was asking you cause I don't do spray deodorant like I'm not rolling I don't know i was asking you because i don't know

like i'm not rolling i don't do armpit armpit and then just put my fucking deodorant stick down there just give it a should um no that's that's wild uh i kate in ireland everyone uses spray deodorant i've never seen anybody spray their own dick uh maybe it's just that i moved here too soon maybe everyone started doing it in their mid-20s. I hope not. I think that's wild. Also, like, dicks are sensitive. I don't think having deodorant. Yeah, that's not good.

Yeah. Anyway, no. Sorry, I just saw that. No, that's wild. I was like, is this something that happens? Just ask them straight up next time. Like, hey, I have a sex and dating podcast. Can I just ask you about what you just did with your dick? Can I just ask?

Just straight up. The craziness that you just fucking. Put our business card in your wallet like a dick right there like an fbi badge and just like sorry sorry i just have a question uh would you mind where were you on right now right now uh yeah like i get it this person it's kind of adorable because you don't know but like in general if you're maintaining your hygiene not even like to a crazy amount just like kind of normal basic standards like and i would say it's pretty much only if you like you're not circumcised you know what i mean like yeah even what what's your piss sticking to like no yeah there's there's you're gonna be okay like like unless you literally piss through your pants and you just sit there like yeah just like soaking your urine yeah uh you like people should be fine for a while after their

shower you know what i mean like unless something dramatic happens but like if you're going to the gym or if you just have like an especially like sticky day in work or some shit you know what i mean like you're probably gonna shower anyway yeah you know like i don't feel like there's necessarily any time where you need to be like, shit, you got, like, they should probably know. And if they don't, it still should only be rare occasions that they need to. Yeah. There's the courtesy where it's like, if you're pouring sweat into your downstairs region

and you know you're going to go on a date later. Yeah. Or, you know what I mean? You know you're going over to your girlfriend later yeah or you know i mean you know you're going over to your girlfriend's house or whatever you have a shower yeah even like you don't need to have a fucking scrub down but like at least hop in and rinse off and like yeah there's like i i feel like this shouldn't be an issue but now i'm worried about other people's dicks if they got a deodorized i mean i promise you that there are guys out there who do not oh yeah well how

many fucking smelly butthole questions have we answered? And it's like, look, I've also, like, in the summer when you're going out, you know, and you have a date and you go out and you go to bar to bar to bar to bar. It's like when it's 40 degrees, you're sweating. Yeah, a lot. But, like, when your date goes well and you go back to your place, you don't both sort of, like be like uh i'm just gonna shower and then you're gonna shower also the thing is though there's a difference between being like sweaty and being covered in like like sweat really only gets bad when it's like old dried like rank kind of sweat you know i mean like you know if you're with someone and they're like working out or whatever or like you're rock climbing or you go for a jog

it's like they don't just start stinking yeah like you can maybe smell sweat but like sweat itself usually is fine it's when it gets old that it gets gross so like if like right now we're fresh boys when we get out of this thing by the time i get home maybe i don't know this thing is like so why armpits like you know and on t-shirts and shit because it like it's stateless sweat like collects there and stays and it's all rank but like in general when people sweat they smell fine so it's like unless you've just not showered for so long or not changed your boxers or like you don't clean your foreskin like you should be fine yes so you should be okay person um and don't worry about it yeah there's like there's pee involved in your penis

but you're cool yeah I mean like I feel like that's the main thing is like the hang up is like shit there's pee involved with this thing

and my mouth I don't like pee in my mouth but like you should be fine there's a general assumption that like people are keeping

their downstairs region clean for you especially if they're assuming that something is sexual is going to happen um so i don't think you necessarily have to worry about that and i think if you sort of demand a shower before yeah it's like that's the biggest mood killer firstly it's kind of demeaning like yeah because you're essentially saying your dick's filthy yeah like i don't really trust that you're clean yeah and also secondly it's like imagine you're

getting all hot and heavy and then they're like cool can you just go like wait for the water to warm up just go uh just get in and like do you join them like yeah i don't it's it's not uh it's probably not conducive to a healthy sex fest however if you guys like go to the gym and come back like you can definitely be like hey i don't like can we shower before we do anything that's totally fine yeah that's yeah or even if you're just like hey even if you went out and had a night dancing yeah i mean and like if again it might be weird if you meet them there and bring them back to your place but like there's no harm in in you know being like hey i'm a fucking sweat mess yeah i'm gonna pop in the shower real quick

and when i come out, like... I'm going to just guzzle your hog. Yeah. Or just be like, you can make it sexy. You can be like, hey, how about we both hop in the shower for a second? Like, wink. Yeah. Just don't do shower sex.

It sucks. It's the worst. But other than that... Especially if you've never had sex before. Oh, God. You're going to break a dick. You'll just be like, this is the worst. No, you're going to break a dick.

This is the worst thing. Why does everyone like sex? Well, sex sucks. Who knew? the worst. No, you're going to break a dick. This is the worst thing. Why is everyone like sex? Well, sex sucks. Who knew? Yeah, so just, you know. You know. Hey, you know. Also, clean your dicks, guys.

Don't spray deodorant on them. I don't know. Guys, can you just clean your dicks? I'm going to look up spray deodorant on dick. First thing is by Go Ask Alice. Deodorant down below. Can I use deodorant on my penis and

they say no because it'll irritate the delicate skin i'm gonna say don't do it stop doing it it's weird and then we have from ign boards so i sprayed some deodorant on my penis area i feel so good right now you guys should try it cool cool penis i'm cool penis i'm gonna say don't do this guys that's the cool feeling of your penis jettisoning all it's skin off cause you just ruined it with deodorant cool cool penis

cool cool penis just think of like a dick with sunglasses on now even like if you you're not meant to use perfumed soap on your dick you not meant to use like perfumed soap on your dick. You're meant to use like regular normal like soap without like shit like that added. So why would you think deodorant is a good thing to do? This one is new for us.

Okay. But I think we are possibly two of the most qualified people to answer this question. Okay. Due to our professional interests okay uh so the best thing to do is if you want to min max your pathfinder character even more no me and you not not even the people we no one else okay just me and you oh okay you'll see why this is why as the spaz 94 what is the best way to describe sexual activity using metaphors without any explicit content? I'm trying to get inspiration on how to describe a love scene in the early 1900s metaphorically without using explicit language.

Any advice? I want to use a raven or falcon as an integral part of my metaphor. Because we do bad sex writing every week. Yeah. And there's no way this is good. Do ravens like shiny things yes ravens are the ones that like collect no or is that crows i'm pretty sure no it's magpies yeah fuck well let's just pretend because no one's gonna fact check this because it's gonna be so bad they're gonna stop reading be like her clit glistened with arousal that's you can't say clit shit she glistened her

her fleshy pearl her feminine pearl no her flesh pearl her meat pearl glistened with arousal can we say arousal glistened with anticipation and like a magpie searching for a shining object i swooped and i grabbed it with my beak. I mean, that's it. I don't think we can improve on that. That's only one. The Raven or what was the other one? Falcon.

Falcon. The two most sexual animals. Okay, okay, I got it, I got it. The field mouse of her feminine desire nestled in the underbrush of her woman's forest could not hide from my falcon's eyes. My seeking falcon. I sought it out with predatory precision. And I swooped.

And I swooped. Swooped right in. Do you get it? The feel mouses her vagina of course what else would a vagina be described as and the pubic hair

was the underbrush uh ooh like a falcon that had supped on many the mouse I was swollen

and eager to return home but I was far afield and I needed somewhere warm and tight to hide my turgid body. I saw, at the end of two fleshy lanes, the perfect damp cave. And I filled it.

Hey, you could even call it a nest. Can we make it a nest? Her bristly nest. Yes, oh, I was even going to say bristly. I needed a place to put my eggs. Her bristly nest. Yes. Oh, I was even going to say bristly. I needed a place to put my eggs. Her bristly tangle nest. Past the bristle tangle into the dark cave. So went my turgid falcon.

And then my eggs I laid. Did it. And then I swooped. Swoop, swoop. Yeah. Don't do this, bud. I think this went better than we thought it was going to. It did, actually. It did. But, like, what are you doing, bud. I think this went better than we thought it was going to. It did, actually.

It did. But, like, what are you doing, bud? This is going to be the worst. Just, if you don't want to write explicitly that they had sex, do an old, like, fadeaway as they, like, tumble into bed. Boom. Yeah. They'll have their own falcon scene in their head.

Yeah, just be like, you know, from outside the door, the raven listened to the passionate moans from inside the wooden cavern. There you go. Boom. From two doors down, their son listened too, just more sadly. The raven tried to listen, but the sound of drums kept drowning it out. Gag the raven nevermore. I like that.

All right. We did it. We solved it. We solved it. We did do it. This comes from Reddit user Crazy Isopod. 20-year-old female told me, a 19-year-old male, she wouldn't date me because of my biggest insecurity. This is a bit chunky, but I'm going to get through it real quick. I've had pretty luck when it comes to dating.

I guess I'm a pretty good-looking guy and charming because I have no problem getting dates, but nobody wants to go on a second date with me for some reason. There's one girl, though, who I hung out with and slept over a few times and we talked nonstop for about a week and a half. We had a lot in common and she was really fun to talk to, but I quickly realized something was off and she was a little bit crazy and had a lot of red flags. I broke things off and told her I wasn't interested anymore. Three months later, she messaged me to talk and things and, or three months later, she messaged me to talk and ends up saying, um, this, and then she, he posted a screenshot. And what she said was literally,

you're not my type. I like men who like not sound gay. I didn't want to say that's why I wouldn't date you because you said it was an insecurity, but yeah, man, it was so annoying. Couldn't be seen in public with a dude that looked like my brother and sounded like he sucked cock um she tells me i wasn't the one who broke things off and it was actually her that sabotaged me to break things off with her and that's the main reason why this is really discouraging because ever since i was six i was bullied about it everyone told me i sounded like a girl over the past few years it's become less of an issue but no one's really mentioned it. But I guess people just tend to be keep their thoughts to themselves as they get older. I'm not really sure where to go with this. Although I

short, although short lived, this is the closest I've ever gotten to with a girl. And we shared a lot with each other. I just don't really know where to go from here. Is there really a voice doctor I should go see? Anyone can say anything they want to you. It's up to you to kind of like listen to them. And it's like if someone walks down the road and is just like, you suck. You don't go home and go, man, I do suck. This person sounds like a fucking asshole. So taking what their shitty thing they said to heart, don't do that. Well, you also have to.

This is something that's been said to him since he was six. I know. I know. But the thing is, this person, one, red flags, and two, described as crazy. Three, messaged you out of the blue, how long later? Three months after. Three months after, and then immediately uses something you told them upsets you to hurt you. Yeah.

And then rewrites history that they broke up with you. Like there's no need for them to follow up three months later, aside from the fact that they felt bitter and upset that you ended things with them. So they're using the arsenal that you gave them to barb you by saying the most hurtful thing they could. Yeah. So what, that's what I mean is like,

don't just blindly go, Oh shit, she said this thing. She said it for a reason. And that reason was to hurt you because she was hurt by you ending things with her which yeah i mean it's like like don't don't don't listen to ass i would love to know sort of like did you happen to post a picture of like a really pretty you and a pretty girl on your instagram you know what i mean like is there the indication that maybe you're seeing someone new recently or even in which she now thinks that like

you know what I mean? She's bitter because like, yeah, 100%. This is someone who got dumped by someone that, you know, maybe she did find his voice annoying, whatever. I doubt it. But like, she got dumped and then realized that like, oh, you know what? I'm feeling particularly shitty about myself today. I'm going to fucking take it out on the dude who dumped me by you know coming up with a reason yeah also like what's the reason for to even get in contact she literally just wanted to hurt you to make herself feel better

so she did and she did the shitty thing where you guys were close enough that you shared something personal and honestly i think is one of the worst things you could do 100% she took it and decided to use it to fuck with you and it hurt you so much you're on the internet asking us two idiots um that

sucks that's a really shitty thing also stop dropping your goddamn phone I haven't done that in like months months give me back your chip

I relapsed damn it you're supposed to be my sponsor if this is something that really bothers you yes there is voice doctors there are voice there are speech coaches there are voice uh specialists and stuff and you can you can train your voice your voice is an instrument it's it can be trained to do whatever you want it to do um whether it's necessary or not i don't i don't think so but

i mean here's the thing is if if there was something about you that you couldn't stand and that you didn't like like if you were overweight and wanted to get fit you would go to the gym you know what i mean and or like or if you didn't like your hair you could get a haircut if you didn't like whatever you could do things about it so i just want to put it on the table that yes if if there's something about your speech if you have a lisp if you have um as long as it isn't like the result of a physical thing even then you can get like i had a really really bad lisp when i was young uh and i and i went to speech therapy for years like i i did it for years um to get over it it's uh it's it's something you can do and your voice is one of the most flexible tools that we have in our body it is it is like you anyone can learn to sing

with enough practice because it's all muscles it's all muscles and breathing and everything so you can you can change your voice you can change the way you talk you can change your cadence um so it's possible i don't know if it's necessary it i think that's a personal call you can do it that's the thing like it's it's i guess good to know that that is out there if you need it uh however asking other people whether you should is i don't think the way to go about it and also taking things like this to heart as a reason why you should because again this person is doing this purely to hurt you it has no merit like i wouldn't trust a reason why you should, because again, this person is doing this purely to hurt you. It has no merit.

Like I wouldn't trust a fucking thing. This person says in this message, because they're doing it to hurt you. There is no, she's not here to help you. She's not like, well, just a heads up.

I'm letting you know, like it's, it's a barb. That's all it is. She wants to stick you with a pen. Uh, if your voice doesn't bother you, fuck it.

Someone like there's people out there who won't give a shit about it, right? Like, you were saying people were mean when they were younger. Yeah, kids fucking suck. Yeah, kids are mean. Kids are assholes. Like, half the people probably did, like, I know people who got bullied for things that don't even fucking really exist or matter. So, it might not even be like, well, people, you know, they're keeping their thoughts close to their chest as they grow older they probably just aren't assholes you know what i mean like or they don't give a fuck that's what i'm saying trying to fucking pay their goddamn rent to worry

about what you sound like yeah so like i get that something like this would bring up all those past insecurities but like to then retcon it that like the reason why you haven't heard about it is because people are been saying it and like all this shit like i would i would hope that's not the case and i would imagine it also isn't so there might be a little bit of truth there might be but the thing is what the point i was trying to get across is like if you like your voice then don't fucking worry about it like there's going to be someone out there who doesn't care even if you're saying even if people do care which is not proven because all we have to go by is the words of this person who's being an asshole so if you're saying, even if people do care, which is not proven because all we have to go by is the words of this person who's being an asshole. So if you like your voice, fuck it. You're fine. Yes. Like that, it doesn't matter. And if you don't, then you can go and you can change it if you want

to. You know what I mean? Uh, and, and those are, those are the only things that matter. Like what other people think doesn't fucking matter, especially not assholes like this. I'm sorry. Yeah. Also like, look at those red flags. You saw, look at all those things that turned you off initially. That's probably all you need to know about their later advice. Let alone the fact that it came three months later out of nowhere and was just super fucking rude and used personal information to like hurt you. Yeah. Like if you had told her this, she knew that you were aware of it.

So even if this was the reason, there would be no reason for her to come back and tell you. Like she already knows you feel aware of it so even if this was the reason there would be no reason for her to come back and tell you like she already knows you feel insecure about it's like why would she then be like oh by the way you were right like that's yeah and she's not helping you out so she didn't have your best sabotaging her the relationship with you then why would she be so hurt three months later that yeah exactly you know i mean like like if if you're like uh i can't break up with this guy because i for whatever reason you don't want to break up with him so you sabotage it so that he breaks up with you i hate conflict so much i'm gonna make him break up with me but i also love conflict so much that three months later i'm gonna like assault him yeah with a text

i know it's it's a wild yeah well situation so i's what I mean. Like, you gotta, when you get messages like this from people, like, look at the context and then fucking throw it in the garbage and don't let it get to you because anyone can say anything they want to you. Yeah. But you gotta realize, like, is it fair for me to listen to this person or are they just being a dick? Yep. You know?

And if they're being a dick, don't take it to heart or try not to. Yeah. You know? Easier said than done. But, like, fuck this person and this fucking shitty fucking shitty text um and yeah i just wanted to also impart that like yes you can change your voice if you really wanted to yeah but like make sure you do it for the right reasons time and effort and all this shit oh yeah probably very expensive yeah um but like i know like i know what it feels like to to speak words and have them not come out.

Yeah. That represent, like, representative of me. Yeah. But, like, I... And it's very frustrating. I know people who have speech impediments of various degrees, whether they, like, stammer or whether they have, like, a particularly high-pitched voice or, like, you know, like, I know people who've been accused of similar things to this poster where like when they were younger people say like the way they act or dress or look or sound or whatever uh and they they have super successful happy relationships because you know and so like

that never stopped them so it won't stop you i will also say when on the the post that was on a lot of people were commenting being like, uh, there were, there was a bunch of women saying like, I prefer men who have more feminine voices. Um, for whatever reason, I don't, I don't know,

but it was like, it was a pretty common theme of, of women, uh, posting being like, it's doesn't bother me. And I actually prefer it. So it's like,

you also have to understand that it's like, everything's a scale, right? Like people are, there's literally people into everything. Yeah.'s the thing it's not like oh shit you don't have one of these type of voices sorry like there's there's someone out there who's probably like oh you're not high pitched enough or whatever i can think of is like unless you're so cartoonish that like it's but even then i will bet you i bet you anything there's someone out there. Oh, yeah. Maybe fucking Silly Sleuths.

Damn it. You got there first. Oh, my God. Maybe we need to make them meet. Yeah. That's the only way. Yeah, so fuck this person. Don't fuck them, but, like, fuck this person.

We need another end term. Screw this. No, damn it. This person sucks. Fuck. This is by Matthew Drinkwater. My date. So he's 19.

She's 18. My date was late, so I left left did i make the right call so i met this girl at the bar gave her a couple of looks and out of the blue gave me her phone number and a napkin next day i texted her we had a little small talk agreed to meet so i'm here waiting for her we're supposed to be at six and i check my messages see a text saying sorry running late gonna be there in 10 minutes by the time i checked it was already 6 10 so i thought i'll wait another 10 minutes 8 at 6 20 nothing bummed a cigarette off a stranger I've got mixed messages here look if you're gonna pull a move like that that's that's you being like i'm out in my opinion like if if i met up or if i if i decided to hang out or like meet up with someone and go on a date with someone

and they were that late and i'm like well i'm fucking bouncing i'm not gonna try to meet up with them again yeah because the thing is in my mind you either believe they have a reason to be late in which case presumably you forgive them in which case presumably you wait yeah or you think they're just blowing you off and being a dick in which case why would you want to see them again yeah I mean it's like obviously this is enough of an issue for you to like just be like this is bullshit I'm out yeah so like why would you be like, I don't know. It's, it's a very strange situation.

I don't think you're not, I think, I don't know. I probably would have texted and been like, Hey, I'm like, I'm not, I'm not fucking me.

I'm not waiting around forever. I'm I've made other plans. Sorry. A lot of this, I guess, just like depends on what they actually said. Like, were they like,

Oh, I'm a little bit late. Okay. It's like leaving now. Yeah. Or was it like, Oh my God. what they actually said. Like, were they like, oh, I'm a little bit late. Okay, that's one thing. Yeah, or it's like, leaving now. Yeah, or was it like, oh, my God, like, the train I'm in just derailed. We got shifted off. I have to get a bus to a taxi. Like, I'm going to try, you know.

Because then it's like, okay, you have a real reason to be, you know. So that kind of matters to me. But, yeah, like, if you're not getting any, like, if they're not really letting you know why they're being late or like giving you a reasonable explanation and you're just kind of sitting around picking your ass, then yeah. Yeah. Get the fuck out of there. I mean, there was a time I, where the fuck did I meet her? I think it might have actually been a Tinder date. But she was one of those ones where I was like, I was convinced it might actually be a bot.

Like I was like, or a catfish. I was like, or a bot cat or cat fish. No, that's the same word. Um, and I was like, I was like, you're way too hot. Thank you. Uh, and, but I was like, you know what? Fuck it. I'll, I'll meet up.

I go to the bar, like across the street from my house. So it's really not that much of a difference. Worst case, I have a fucking couple of drinks and head on. Um, and sure enough, like just didn't show up. And I was like, that's cool. And then like an hour and 20 minutes later, she came in and she was like, are you Dane? I was like, yes. And she's like, I'm so sorry.

I don't remember the reason. She was like, my phone like died. So I couldn't text you. I couldn't get the reason she was like my phone like died so i couldn't text you i couldn't get the name of the bar so i've been wandering around the neighborhood trying to remember what where we were supposed to meet uh and i was like well because the bar i always go to literally had no sign yeah it's so dark that yeah no indication that it was an actual bar you kind of need to be like is it yeah um and i was like oh i feel so fucking bad that you're just like hey at least you waited i know and it was like but i i definitely

had like after like 20 minutes i had written it off i was just like whatever i'm gonna i'm gonna finish the road anyway yeah and i was like i enjoyed i i like the bartender that works there the guy who owns it so i was talking with him so i was like really wasn't a big deal and it was my local anyway like it's where i went for a drink so whatever that's kind of the way it should be like you know you're you're still making the most of you're still enjoying shit you know yeah but i mean i've i've also done the same thing where it's like i've i've made plans with someone and they were like you know i've texted them and like and they're like oh we're jumping in a new one now i was like it's half an hour after we were supposed to meet and i that's not i

didn't hear anything from you you didn't tell me you're running late um and i just i would just be like i was just like don't bother like don't worry about it um i'm heading home if you if you immediately if your first impression is you don't respect my time enough yeah to like not even attempt to show up on time but like or even let me know that you're not running on time you know what i mean i was like it's one thing when your friends or know the person but like your first impression is so fucking important what do you mean by that day um no it's i don't know it's like i don't mind waiting around for people that i know or like oh yeah like i actually want to see or even like if they were coming and had a reason like there's that's that's one thing um but like the one thing

that kind of gets me is like anything can happen like my current girlfriend when i first date i went out with her i was halfway to the bar and realized i forgot my wallet i literally never can think of another time that i've ever forgotten my wallet i was like shit do i go home and be late and like have money or do i go and like i i don't know like i can't show up without wallet luckily i i managed to just about get there on time um but another date like my first proper like date date that i went on when i came to canada um i literally like i felt so bad because like if i say like say, like, half 8, what time is that? 8.30.

Yeah. So this girl thought it meant 7.30 because it was halfway to 8. Yes. Because I guess people don't say half 8 over here. No one says that. But you say it back home. So she was like, oh, yeah, I'll meet you at, like, half 8. She was like, okay, great.

So she went at 7.30. I was meant to meet her at 8.30. So I was at home just, like, fucking around on YouTube and, like, get a text. And she's like, hey, are you near? It was, like, 10 to 8. I was like, just like fucking around on YouTube and I get a text and she's like, Hey, are you near? It was like 10 to eight. I was like, what are you talking about? She was like, I've been here for 20 minutes. I'm just wondering where you are.

I'm like, I'm at home. We're meeting at eight 30. She was like, you said half eight. That's seven 30. I was like, Oh no. I'm like, she'd been there almost half an hour. Luckily she waited. We went down.

It was a great date. You know, half eight should be four o'clock. Well, true. Right. Fucking idiot. No, she'd been there for four hours and 32 minutes um yeah so i don't know like did you here's the thing you didn't do the right or wrong thing like if you if you respect your time and you're like hey this is bullshit yeah there's nothing wrong what you did unless they were like hey my you know if they had a very valid reason, and you just bailed without letting them know, it's been 40 minutes. I'm, I'm going to bounce like something else came up. So I'm going to go do that.

Um, you know, so don't bother just to, you know, just to save them the time. Cause like, cause you're kind of wasting. Yeah.

They're wasting your time, but then you're doing the same thing back. Right. So did you do the right thing? Should you wait for either one works, whatever you want to do, but you leaving not that bad. However,

if you didn't tell her, that's kind of a dick move. Yeah. Did you blow your chance with the girl? Probably. Yeah. But I just, that's, this is where the question loses me. It's like, why would you want to see them again?

Well, that's the last question. Should I even try? No. Why would you? Yeah. If you, if you weren't willing to wait for them again, why would you waste another night? Yeah. Because either you were a dick and they had a valid reason and you didn't care or they didn't care about you and

then do you care about that yeah but like hey if you want to go for it but i can't imagine it's going to be much different yeah exactly it's like now they're just asking you're asking for them to stand you up now yeah all right that's it that's it we did it we did it episode 75 oh shit that's almost that's almost 100 that's three quarters of a hundo

yeah thank you very much for listening friends we appreciate you and all the time that you guys spend listening to us

and sharing us and everything and interacting with us on Twitter and everything if you want to get a hold of us you can find us at Facebook at facebook.com slash fckbuddiespodcast. You can find us on Twitter at fck underscore buddies. You can visit us online at fbuddiespodcast.com or plentyofbeef.ca.

And you can email us at fbuddiespodcast at gmail.com. You can also find us on of beef.ca. And you can email us at F buddies podcast at gmail.com. You can also find us on tickle dot life, tickle dot life where we just partnered with them. I think two weeks ago. Yep. Was when we started. Um, and they're,

they're another like sexual health and, uh, sexuality website. And they promote a bunch of really cool stuff. They have a bunch of, we use the word conglomerate conglomerate. Is that they're like a collector of sexual positivity that they then imbue themselves with and hurl out into the universe they are the the infinity gauntlet and they're just fucking we're the infinity gems we're

the time stone yeah hell yeah we are yeah because we capoeira life into existence uh also on that note uh we did mention a article that they had shared that we also i guess then shared um about making consent sexier yeah uh i didn't mention the name of the author because i'm silly but it is uh joanna anagnosto um yeah some of the other articles that recently came out that were really good were uh there's one about what defines healthy masculinity there was like the ethical dilemmas of in BDSM, which I think we talked about some of the things about like the, the woman who wanted her boyfriend to be more rough.

That was actually last week. Yeah. So it's like, there's, there's a lot of, you know, cross cross talk with, with the stuff that we talk about on the podcast.

And then there are people who probably know a little bit more than us about like a very specific subject. So if you, if there's ever anything that we talk about and the podcast and then there are people who probably know a little bit more than us about like a very specific subject so if you if there's ever anything that we talk about and you're like i want a little bit more information tickle.life is a is a really good place to start they share some really interesting like articles and they're all like pretty varied topics which is cool yeah and it's so far and it's a lot of like a lot of different views as well it's a lot of it's not just you know one uh narrative or one point of view or one worldview you're getting you're getting uh lgbt you're getting women you're getting people of color getting men you're getting sort of like yeah a whole slew of of information

from people with different experiences which i think is that's the most important thing when you're trying to educate yourself about something so buck wild is sex yeah because it's like my experiences as a white straight male are much much different than anyone else who isn't so it's and also different to others yeah you are you know it's uh it's it's a really uh really cool site yeah so check it out and i think what's also cool is like because they kind of like gather and collect people it's like there's not even like like what you're saying about like the diversity and all that they're it's not even like like everyone's already doing their own thing it's like they have their own voices it's not like they're writing you know what i mean like if you went to like a web like huffington or whatever

again not no shade but like they kind of all are under the same umbrella if that makes any sense these are just like varied voices that are just gathered. Yeah, exactly. It's a collection of independent voices, which is nice. That's a better way to put it. All right. Thank you, Josh Eagle and the Harvard Cities for their song Paper Stars,

for the use of their song Paper Stars. You got some bad sex writing for us? Yeah. Or it was our contribution. That was good sex writing. Okay,

you ready for this fucking mad shit? And like, sometimes we read this stuff and like without context i don't know i don't i just don't know so oh you you tell me what you think okay this is bunker 13 by anirudha bahal what's that you ask you see a designer penis hair razored and ordered in the shape of a swastika, the Aryan denominator. As your hands roam her back, her breasts, and trace the swastika on her mound, you start feeling like an ancient Aryan warlord yourself.

Wait, was the dick a swastika? I assume it's like his pubes? And then her pubes? I don't know, I don't like that one. We don't have to read that one. I'm so, I don't know. I don't like that one. We don't have to read that one. I'm so... I'm so confused. I would imagine that the last thing on any sort of Nazi's mind was manscaping.

I don't know, man. They're real into their pictures. Yeah, I mean, that's... Yeah, iconography is pretty big for them, so... They're into their little pictures. So maybe. Maybe it is. Yeah.

I don't understand. That's the thing. Like, without context, is this, like, I assume this is not a pro-Nazi book. I hope so. Because, just judging by the writer's name, I don't know. I doubt they're down with that kind of shit. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, like, maybe they needed villains so cartoonishly bad.

That they had to have swastika fumes. They literally had to have, yeah, swastika fumes is the only. It's like, I need these characters to fuck, but I want people to, like, not get turned on too much. bad that they had to have swastika they literally had to have yeah swastika pubes is the only it's like i need these characters to fuck but i want people to like not get turned on too much i need them to know that they're bad guys yeah so how do we do it so nazi pubes and we're just we're leaving dan we put dan on dan on time out while he's time outing himself yeah um and so that means the after dinner mint is for sex writing. For today.

We need it. Yeah. Um, this comes, this is actually a question and it's, and it's an important one from a inquisitive Pornhub user by the name of Pussy Sex Tits. Nailed it. And they ask, is this how babies are made? Is this how women get pregnant? My name is Dave Miller.

And I'm Niles Bain. And we've been your fuck buddies.