F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 90 - Pride MEGAsode (feat. Kyle Crawford)

Episode Date: June 22, 2020

It's the time of year, y'all!  Happy Pride!  And what would Pride be without our annual Pride episode and with our favourite co-host Kyle Crawford?  In dependable fashion, Kyle brings a brand new game to challenge Dain and Niall with to see who's more in touch with their queer side.  Topics include Grindr's race removal, bisexual reveal, keeping it in the family threesome, making moves in this quarantine world, a video game faux pas, churning and burning.

I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. Hello friends, my name is Dave Miller. And I am now Spain. I'm Kyle Crawfordpper and we are your fuck buddies i'm getting so used to doing that i love saying it i love being the one to say that

we are your fuck buddies it's so i do love the fact that we we didn't even like talk about who was gonna say what this time we just hit record yeah we just did it this is the first time we're recording where we don't go out to Halo for beer beforehand. I know. Obviously. Yeah, it's difficult. As uncomfortable as it is to have three people in this closet, I feel even more uncomfortable without you guys here. I miss your

closet so much. I can't wait to get back in that closet for the next time we're recording under normal circumstances. Yeah. I can't wait to just see you boys. It's been fucking way too long. Right? Ditto. Happy Pride, guys. Yeah, happy Pride.

I think that's the first time we've said it because of everything else that's going on. I don't think we've officially recognized that it's Pride. No, I don't think so. But it is Pride. And that's awesome. So, speaking of it being Pride, thanks so much for you guys inviting me back here you know i love being back here and you guys every week thank you you know how much i love

just coming on here and just taking over your podcast and you know how much i love turning you two into guests on your own podcast. Oh, shit. But usually I tell you guys when I have something planned. So I'm just going to, it's just going to be this big gay pride surprise for you guys. Also know that is my life long dream to be a game show host.

And I promised you that every time I came on Fuck Buddies, I would have some sort of a little game prepared. So I know we have questions, sticky, sexy situations, sexy, sticky situations. Oh, Dan, you didn't even get a chance to say that. I didn't. Can I please? Yeah, absolutely.

Oh, my God. Can I get it right? We are a sex and dating advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations and turn them into sexy, sticky situations. Hell yeah. You did it. Basically, we take questions off either social media or from listeners and we try to answer them for your ears.

Okay. I feel like that was so fun for me. That was the best. That was perfect. You're better at that than Dane is. Yeah. I'm going little use that clip yeah do it forever okay so this is what's gonna happen if you guys are down i did a thing where i want to find out for pride and just for the sake of life which one of you two is more in touch with your queer side because i think everybody has a queer side.

And you guys are both two straight guys. But what I did is I messaged a bunch of people on Facebook and told them that I was going to be on the podcast for this. And I asked them a series of fun, little, whimsical, gay-centric questions that they all answered and every question has a majority answer so that majority answer is going to be written in stone and it is going to be the answer for the entire gay community on that topic i'm kidding it's all but but every answer does have a majority question where you guys come in is I would like to ask you guys these same questions.

And you don't want to try and guess what the gay community said. You want to answer what you truly feel. I'm going to keep score. I'm going to keep a transcript. And then at the end, we're going to find out which of you two, based on these questions, are more in touch with your queer side. What do you think? All right. Let's do it.

Okay. So name pending i don't have a name for this game but uh you know i asked a bunch of gay queer lgbt people of all kinds uh gays lesbians bisexuals trans fluids i got them all i got somebody from everywhere. So if either of you score zero to one matches, you are boring heteronormative. Painfully straight. You are boring heteronormative swine. Oh no. If you get two to three matches,

you are a sparkle jock. You're maybe a little too butch still, but there is a sparkle of hope for you. I want someone to illustrate a sparkle jock for us if they're listening. Yes, I would like that as well. If you get four to five matches, you're a bromo.

You're definitely a bro, but you're in touch with your queer side. You got a little sugar in your coffee and that's okay. If you get six to eight, you are a little sugar in your coffee and that's okay. If you get six to eight, you are a queer rocketeer. It doesn't matter what your sexual preference is, you are blasting away archetypes of typical masculinity

and you're embracing your queer sides just as much as you embrace your hetero vibes. You can also illustrate that. If you get nine to ten, you are a full-fledged queen. And if you haven't sucked a dick already, I recommend you do so because you're gayer than springtime.

Down. Is it bad that the point of the game for me right now is to become a sparkle jock strictly on the name? It's a great name. I'm not going to lie. I'm so happy you guys are into these names because I thought really hard today on these names.

Very good. How many areyle originals and how many are like this whole thing no this whole thing is a kyle original every question everything i did i am the gay ambassador i'm the editor in queef this whole thing is this whole jock sounds like an established term i'd make okay first it was just going to be Cock Jock. And I was like, well, there's just nothing really gay about Cock Jock. Like, it's just... Hey, there's nothing gayer than cocks. I like Sparkle Jock, and it just came to me, like, literally minutes before we were starting to record. That's why I was like, I'm going to be a little late.

All right, let's do it. Okay, so we'll go back and forth for who gets to answer first. I'll call on your name. So, let me get my notes here. Should we text you our answers? No, just say them. Okay. Well, he cheats off me because he wants to win.

No, that's why we're going to go back and forth. Okay. Which makes you happier? Iced coffee in the summer or hot tea in the winter? Niall, you're first. Hot tea in the winter. Dane? I don't drink coffee, so yeah, hot tea in the winter.

Wow. Okay, so do you guys know that iced coffee is a gay stereotype? Yeah, you also know I hate iced coffee. Do I know that? I don't know. When anybody says they know I hate iced coffee. Do I know that? I don't know. When anybody says they don't like iced coffee, I kind of just block that shit out because you know how much I love it. Yeah. I'm sorry, guys.

The majority for that one was a big old iced coffee. That was the majority answer. I will write down the transcripts for a bad start. Question one. Okay. Wrong.

I'm on track to be a sparkle jock. It's fair. It's fair. Okay. The second question. Do you like your wardrobe to be more colorful and vibrant or more sleek and monotone? Dane, you're first. Oh, 100% colorful and vibrant.

I went through a whole phase where I wore nothing but floral shirts. Yes, I love you in floral. It's true. I am definitely more kind of like monotony. Okay, how do you guys think the community answered? I think it is going to be monotone. Yeah, I think it's monotone as well. It is absolutely monotone by quite a large margin.

So Niles Upland. What I'm hearing is I'm the stylish one. Apparently. Though Dane is pretty damn stylish in a floral shirt. Dane, like they're basically like a Canadian institution at this point. Just like classic, classic floral shirt. That's so good. Okay.

Third question. floral shirt that's so good okay third question would you rather spend a year in a big city penthouse condo with a skyline view an in-suite minibar and a jacuzzi or a rural chateau with an orchard a lake and a couple horses uh niall you're first do we get clarifying questions you can ask sure we can talk like because if i'm in the city i'm assuming all my friends are still around if i'm in the middle of a chateau in the country i assume they are not around yeah you'd probably be uh you'd probably be pretty uh isolated i hate orchards and horses so i'm'm going with the fan club. Yeah, you do hate apples. Okay.

Dane, how do you answer? I knew when you said that, I was like, so Niall has to choose between being in the city or around the things he hates. It's tough because I really like horses. What? Hold the phone. Get out. You're off the podcast. we've had this conversation so many times like iced coffee i block it out um but but

no i'm a city boy through and through as much as i like getting away i take the penthouse for sure you're both taking the penthouse how do you think the community answered i think it was penthouse i think penthouse it was a frigging landslide. I am really surprised. I thought there would be a little bit of a gradient there. I would take the Chateau. It's not even a thought. I would love that.

I think that would be beautiful. I love the country. I love being out in nature and all that. But having spent four months away from my friends, I don't want to spend any longer. Yeah, that's a really excellent point um i'm still gonna also fuck horses and apples i'm so mad at apples i forgot about that okay question four now this is where the clause came out this is this is where some people were

like oh it's tough i don't know this is where some people got mad. Which goddess do you worship more? Beyonce or Lady Gaga? Dane, you're up. Fuck me. Yeah, that's how everybody felt. It's tough because Lady Gaga, I think, has done a lot more in terms of vocally speaking out about things. She sure has.

But I'm not a big fan of her music. But that's on the flip side. I think she's a super talented musician. She just makes shitty pop music. Whereas Beyonce. Wow. Every gay person who was listening just stopped listening because you said she makes shitty pop music.

Yeah, you're right. But that's what she does. You know what I mean? She makes pop music. But's what she does. She makes pop music. When you look at her, there's an episode of SNL where she does a... I think it's New York, New York on piano and it's just

her and it's incredible because she's an amazing musician. Then you look at things like Poker Face and I'm like, that's not exactly the height of musical talent. Oh my God, it wasn't 2007. That was my jam. I know the whole choreography the whole i have nothing against i've got nothing against bad pop music like you know i like taylor swift i'm on board with it i'm gonna go beyonce you're gonna go

beyonce okay yeah and uh niall i think i'm gonna go lady gaga i know you have love for lady gaga yeah a while ago like i saw a bunch of like old recordings of her when she was, like, I don't want to say a kid, but, like, when she was, like, pretty young, just, like, at bars with an acoustic guitar playing, like, Led Zeppelin songs. And it was just, like, really, really, really cool to see. It's, like, you know, she's, like, massively musically talented. It just seems fun. She is. Nothing against Beyonce, but, like, you know. This is a hard question because I beyonce but like you know that's that this is a hard question

because i feel the same way as you know like i i think lady gaga you know what i'm switching to lady gaga because lady gaga wow okay we gotta switch here's the thing is i don't have much of a connection to beyonce in terms of like her music has never spoken to me whereas at least lady gaga i can like if it comes on at a bar or a club i will dance to it not to say that i won't dance to drunken love but like i've seen it um no i'm switching to lady gaga okay i'll allow that switch i will allow it to happen and you know i loved how much back and forth you guys had and i could just feel uh dame the contention in what you were saying like in the fact that you even switched.

That's how a lot of people felt when I was asking. They're like, oh, it's tough. But when it comes down to it, Lady Gaga was the majority answer. Not by a ton, but she was the majority answer. And a few people said, even Brandon, my boyfriend, was like, you know, she is a gay goddess for sure. Like she has been ride or die with the gay community before she was famous. So that was a big thing. And there were a lot of Beyonce love.

There were some people that were just like, Lady Gaga, who is Beyonce? And vice versa. There were people that were just like, no, Whitney Houston, not either of them. Like gay men today, they're popular. If you had asked us which one I thought I wouldn't have been able to answer.

Because I actually wasn't sure which one people would have picked. Yeah. I knew that question was going to get some claws out, and I was into it. Okay. Mm-hmm. Ooh, this is a fun one. People really engaged with this one. What stance of body hair do you relate to more?

Grow beautifully and freely. My body is my body is my body or manscaping is sexy my body is a canvas my clippers are the brush and my hair is the paint uh niall your first this time uh just the natural it grows kind of deal all natural kind of girl eh yeah okay as you probably can tell i don't really do much with my hair and dame this is tough i want to say manscape because i do the downstairs but like i don't i don't have like i'm i'm lucky enough that i don't have a whole lot of body hair like i'm not a super hairy person in terms of like chest or back hair so i don't have to worry about that you gel your head hair though right oh yeah all of it all three strands

of it um but you know i'm gonna say manscape because i do i take a lot of of care of my beard i mean not recently but apart from right now you look like duck dynasty okay um so we have different stances what do you guys think the community went with i'm guessing manscape i'm gonna say let it grow well it was the closest one by like a 55% manscaping one ah yeah it was a really close one uh some people were like if you if you can grow it show it uh if you want to shave this bitch go ahead but i'm not shaving it and there's there's some really fun opinions on that one i had a lot of fun um i'm i'm obviously of the manscaping i i think it's again dane like yourself like i'm not i'm not super hairy i'm pretty happy with how supple and

smooth my skin is but if i were to be hairy that shit would be trimmed yeah i'm also not particularly hairy so um okay back to icons which gay icon do you enjoy more freddie mercury or elton john who's first this time dane's first this time i think it's dane yeah dane go ahead freddie or i was really hoping the alternative was it was going to be freddie or david bowie because that would have been a very very easy choice for me Too easy. David Bowie would have won that one. Oh, a hundred percent. Oh,

okay. See, I couldn't even name like one David Bowie song. I don't think brick in the wall. Is that him? That's pink Floyd. What is it? Pink Floyd,

David Bowie. Aren't they one in the same? No. Oh no. You know what? I know David Bowie song with't they one and the same? No. Oh, no, you know what? I know David Bowie's song with Freddie Mercury. Under pressure, yes. Was David Bowie in a band?

I don't think so. I mean, he might have. No, I don't think so. He was always just kind of doing his own thing. Okay, well, yeah. I know that David Bowie is apparently a musical genius. I've just never been exposed to him. You might be thinking of Phil Collins

who was in Genesis, maybe? Oh no, I know Phil Collins. I saw Tarzan. Have you not seen Labyrinth? No one's seen Labyrinth, Dane. Okay, you need to watch Labyrinth because I feel like that movie in the 80s when it came out, distinctly

shaped people's sexuality. Either you were enamored by Jennifer Connelly or you were enamored by David Bowie's Bulge. Oh, wow. I think those were the two diverging paths. Or you were in the middle and you were just like, I'm into all this. Even Hoggle. That's a labyrinth deep cut for people. Yeah, we're going to cut that out.

I'm going to go Freddie Mercury. Dane says Freddie, Eddie, Eddie and Niall. Same for me. Same for me. I love Elton John, but Freddie Mercury I just think. You guys both remember. Niall, you definitely remember my Queen phase.

When I was 27, it was the first time I ever heard a Queen song. I just think you guys both remember Niall you definitely remember my Queen phase when I was like 27 like it's the first time I ever heard a Queen song I fell in love with it I love Queen it's like I don't think I've ever actively listened to an Elton John song maybe that one where he

played and no one could understand a word he said that was very funny oh man Elton John has a bunch of bangers like they're like for a gay man he's written so much like just fight music you know what i mean like um and it's it's nice like it's one are gay people not fighty well so i mean it's like it's it's he's like this stereotype of like you know glitz and glamour and that's sort of like what the what the projection of like what a gay man is it's like this big of like you know glitz and glamour and that sort of like what the

projection of like what a gay man is it's like this big extravagant person but then like his music is all about like fighting and fucking and it's like it's rock and roll like I'm just saying that like being a gay man it's nice to know like he was rock and roll despite you know what I mean

like yeah I guess he's still a rock and roll icon despite being gay, whereas, like, I think there's a lot of disconnect between people who think those two cultures don't mesh. That's fair, yeah. Like, Freddie Mercury is, like, a rock god. Like, Queen is, like, as rock as you get

when you think of the 70s, I guess. I don't know too much about rock. I don't know. I feel like with rock, you almost assume that they'd be less kind of inclusive than, you know, they are, but I don't think it much about rock. I'm not going to, I don't know. I feel like with rock, you almost assume that they'd be less kind of inclusive than, you know, they are, but I don't think it's ever really been.

I don't know. I don't think it's as true as a lot of other like genres of music, but anyway, have you seen Kingsman too? Yes. We're Elton John super fighty in that. Yep. Yeah.

Okay. That was, that was the, the, the split thing was, I was going to say Elton John just because of Kingsman too. Yeah. It's very funny. Okay. Well, you both did say freddy and uh the gays are on both of your sides that one was

was quite a large win also yeah i would have figured yeah okay next is something that is very common in my house because we're on different sides of this one is Rosé or Prosecco. Oh, shit. Rosé or Prosecco? Yeah. It's got to be Prosecco. And, uh, dang. I'm going Rosé all day, baby. Okay, this was another really, really close

one. Like, the difference was just by a couple votes. And Prosecco, just one. Rosé is becoming super trendy, though. Everybody is really into Rosé right now. Rosé is becoming one of these... Like, brosé. Have you guys saw that?

No. No, but I'm hearing it's great. It's like bronies. Like, bros who love My Little Pony. There's all these Instagram posts of all these bros, like, jock guys that are loving rosé and sipping rosé. It's really adorable. All I think of when I think of rosé. And the reason I love rosé, I just don't drink it as much as Prosecco.

So I felt like it would be strange of me to say that. But whenever I do think of rosé, I think of in fucking Zagreb when me and you went down to that little wine cave underneath our hostel. And we got the fucking rosé and the charcuterie board and just sat out in the sun. a grab when me and you went down to that little like wine cave like underneath our hostel and uh we got the fucking rosé and the charcuterie board and just sat out in the sun and it was like probably the best glass of rosé i've ever had in my life that's literally like what got me onto rosé i don't think i'd ever drink in rosé prior to that and i like i haven't looked back oh it was actually such a beautiful moment that is driving me wild like i can't even um okay and that brings us to oh this is a fun one uh we're almost there we're in the home stretch there's only 10 questions

which famous meme cat do you relate to more dinner table cat or grumpy cat dane you're up first oh shit um the the dinner table cat's not the he's not yelling right he's just sort of like looking unimpressed he's sitting there unbothered yeah i'm gonna be dinner table cat i think okay and niall i guess same here there was some love for grumpy cat but dinner table cat took that like all the way like everybody was so excited to say dinner table cat yeah i feel like grumpy cat was like it was one of the og kind of things so like it never really had that same like impact like now you know what i mean didn't he die recently i think he did yeah i think so yeah i think i remember him dying

let's have a moment rest in peace grumpy cat uh okay question nine i know your guys's answers for this i'm pretty sure i do anyway and this was another one that like everybody was talking a little bit about it and it had everybody divided um when it comes to food and nutrition which do you relate to more i eat what i want life is good and food makes it better or my body is a temple healthy and nutritious food makes me feel good better and helps me thrive um kyle you're first i don't even need to answer this yeah i know your answer i see whatever i'm good and uh yeah you you eat, whatever you want, right? Yes. And Dane? Yeah, I'm the same. I'm so allergic to dairy and I still eat chocolate and shit.

I don't even respect the things that my body tells me not to do. I thought you would have been more on the nutritious, healthy, what have you side of things. No? Especially not now. You know what i ate yesterday the only thing i ate yesterday was four slices of like two day old pizza an entire bag of two bite brownies that's all i ate yesterday that's horrendous i love two bite brownies so much and you have to eat the whole bag when you sit down with a bag of those so there's one thing that always like i find very strange about me and Dane

is in general, I think Dane eats more healthy than I do. You also manage to be so much more unhealthy than I am at the exact same time. Yeah, you cook dinner a lot more. I cook dinner every goddamn day. I don't know. Every now and then you say things that disgust me.

Frankly, I couldn't spend a day having just eaten that. But it always makes me feel really good about myself. Because in general, I might not be perfect. But I never have such horrifying dips like you do. You're more consistent, Niall. You're much more consistent. You're more temperate. You sound like you're all or nothing or one or the other.

My eating is chaotic evil it's true um when it came to the community how do you think they answered um i oh fuck i i would say an exact split um it was really close it was it was really close um even me like you guys know how much i love food and I love to cook. And I am pretty right there in the middle. Yeah, you're pretty both. Like I've seen you do both. Yeah. I think when it comes down to it more, I lean towards my body as a temple. Because if I did just eat whatever I wanted, like I just don't have the – I would be not happy.

I would be a whole fucking house so i just can't do it i haven't been able to do that for years if i could just sit down and eat mcdonald's all the time and two bite brownies all the time and drink all the pepsi i wanted like i would absolutely do that but i just can't those are like treats for me they're like holiday meals uh so i leaned towards temple and so did the community community was community was just over with Temple, but there was lots of love for Eat What You Want. So you both got it wrong. Or you both did not connect

with each other. Alright, so this is the last question and then we're done and thanks for letting me take over your podcast once again. Also, whoever's at home, if you want to tell us what score you got and send it in, we definitely want to know. Here's the last

question. Who's answering first for this one? I think it's Niall? I think it's Dane. I went first in the last one. What is cooler? D&D or Pathfinder? Dane? Fuck you.

I'm saying Pathfinder, but I highly doubt anyone knows what the fuck that is. But'm saying Pathfinder but I highly doubt anyone knows what the fuck that is but yeah Pathfinder Niles? Yeah I get Pathfinder that's my boy. What do you guys think the community said? I'm gonna guess D&D. Yeah I don't think a whole lot of people know what Pathfinder is

the community said I'm just kidding that wasn't the last answer I just wanted to get you guys about that you motherfucker. No that wasn't the last question at all. I'm out. Bye. The last question is, in fact, did Carole Baskin kill her husband? I mean, I'm fucked. I didn't watch Tiger King.

So. Okay. There were a couple of people that didn't watch. You didn't watch Tiger King? Judging by the memes and everything I've seen about it. I'm going to say that bitch Carole Baskin did it. Okay. And sheaskin did it. Okay. And she 1,000% did it.

Like I asked maybe like too many people to count, like maybe like 27 or something. I'm going to guess nobody said no. Me. I was the only person and one other person that said no. I'm sorry. Do you remember the scene where she was like, oh, no tiger would eat you over

that you'd have to cover them in cod liver oil or something and then look straight at the camera like come on i just don't think she did it i think she's crazy but i just don't think she killed her husband that was too specific of an information to just throw out there nobody just casually is like nah this is how you get tired tiger to eat someone. I mean, huh? Okay. You guys both did so friggin' well. Let me just input, let me add up all this data

here. He's computing with the kilometer. He's running it through his systems. Okay, so we do have a winner. We have a winner by one point and uh that point does put you guys both in the same uh category however uh you're both queer rocketeers hell yeah queer rocketeers uh which is which is really good it's just a step beneath sucking dick so good job however i feel like nile did get one more point um so

the winner congratulations you have won a trip for two to puerto vallarta mexico and uh a lifetime supply of poppers and a mesh tank top oh please tell me you're gonna give me at least the mesh tank top in real life yeah you can have the poppers too. And let's go to Puerto Vallarta. Okay, sure. I thought you were joking about those, but I was hoping you'd at least give me one of them. You can have my, you remember my old classic mesh tank top that I haven't worn since 2018.

You can have that one. Please. It's like, it's almost closed, but it's not. So I'm very warm all the time. I think it'd be perfect. Okay, down. All right. Question time. Yes. Also, Kyle. Thank you. I think it'd be perfect. Okay, down. Alright, question time.

Also, Kyle, thank you. That was a lot of fun. Yeah, my pleasure. I was so happy to bring it. I was actually really worried that we weren't going to get a game. Could you ask us any questions? Yay! It's my promise. I'm going to hold to it.

I'm going to bring a game every time I come. I had zero doubts, because Kyle is Kyle. Yay! Are you going first now, I'm going to hold to it. I'm going to bring a game every time I come. I had zero doubts. Cause Kyle is Kyle. Yeah. Are you going first now? Or do you want me to go first? Yeah, this is a,

this from ask gay bros. The user is Matt pilf. Grinder is removing the race filter to fight racism. Where do you stand? Um, shall I answer? No, you're not allowed.

I think that's, I think that's great. Um, I haven't used Grindr in a long time and I'm a person of color. I'm half black, half white and Grindr. I just think honestly Grindr is a pretty damn toxic place, period. But it's a, uh, especially bad place for, uh, you know, body negativity and racism. And there's, there's lots of it on Grindr and, you know, body negativity and racism. And there's lots of it on Grindr. And, you know, you can have a thick skin. Like, I have a pretty thick skin, so it wouldn't bother me

when I saw whites only or anything like that or mixed and blah, blah, blah. Didn't bother me at all. Like, I love literally every, I think every different ethnicity and every shade. I'm not just saying that because of the world we live in. I think every shade is sexy. I think every different ethnicity and every shade, I'm not just saying that because of the world we live in. I think every shade is sexy. I think every ethnicity is sexy. And I think that I love seeing now more than ever,

you know, big companies and places that have big influence taking steps. And I think that that's a great one. I never knew about that until right now. And I think that's great. Now, can I ask you a question? Sure. Did you ever use the race filter?

Yeah, I always put mixed. As in, like, did you have to pick what you were looking for? Or did you, like, I don't actually know how it works. I figured you just, like, were like, know this or whatever. No, it's just when you, like, make your grinder profile, like you have a picture and your age, and just there's all different things. There's, like, tribes.

They call them tribes. So, like, you can say if you are a jock your age and just there's all different things. There's like tribes, they call them tribes. So like you can say if you are a jock or a queen, how tall you are, what your weight is, if you're toned, if you're this, that, if you're hairy, if you're top, if you're bottom. And just race is just one of the descriptors amongst like 30 that are there. So I don't really think that like i never really looked into it too much but like i just put it i just put mixed just like i put any like i was five nine or whatever um but people went a bit further than that and some people would put like in their description like yeah whites only or no yeah i've seen like a bunch of my friends have been sharing stuff all week one in particular had this one profile where it literally had like every

possible ethnicity listed with like a rating beside it. And then like some of them were just like hard. No. And it was pretty fucked up. That's really funny because like, as far as I've seen, or as far as I'm aware on like, you know,

uh, you know, like Tinder and whatever, I've never seen kind of anything like that. I think the closest is like a lot of women's profiles who have like minimum height requirements but like that's about it grinder was the first and grinder is like the more the most raw i'll say like it's unadulterated it's just like like compared to tinder, Grindr is pretty raw and dirty.

It's a pretty toxic place, if I'm being completely honest. Even if I was to be single again or in an open relationship or whatever, I think I would do all that without Grindr. But for those people who use Grindr, I think that it's a great decision to take the race filter off just to promote just a better world, I think. Yeah, I think it's a great decision to take the race filter off just to promote a better world, I think. Yeah, I think it's a great idea. I'm actually kind of surprised it has lasted this long. This comes

from a user. Hell yeah. I'm going to give them the name. It's hard coming up with agent names. Agent Earl Grey. Oh. Gosh, I wonder where that came from. It's definitely not the with agent names. I'm going to agent Earl Gray. Oh, gosh. I wonder where that came from. It's definitely not the beer I'm drinking.

Are you drinking, pal? Are you having a beer right now? Yeah. What am I drinking, actually? I think this is from Allura. It's Shine India Pale Ale. And yeah, it's from Allura. Hell yeah.

They say, hey there. I've started dating four weeks ago with an amazing girl. We have very good chemistry and an awesome sex. We both like each other a lot, and we decided to be in a relationship together. In the past couple years, I've been exploring my sexuality and found out that once in a while, a really hot guy can turn me on. I've once dated a guy, but it wasn't really for me. But sometimes I meet some guys or hang out with a really hot friend of mine, and I find them very sexually attractive, and it turns me on. This friend and I spent the weekend together at some

resort, and I had strong sexual feelings for him. Nothing happened, but it scared me, and how should I address this with my new girlfriend? Should I talk about my sexual thoughts with her? Maybe it's too early to share that stuff with her. She's very open, and she also occasionally makes out with other girls, and I'm totally cool with that. I'm very attracted

to my new girlfriend, sexually and mentally, but sometimes i find myself playing with the fantasy of being with another man i want i want to keep this relationship and i see her as a very good partner so how slash should i share my sexual thoughts and attractions to other men with my girlfriend all right i do you want to jump in there kyle or will i jump in i don't know i always feel when there's a guest i just wait for people to talk because i know everyone's sick of hearing me speak you go first for sure um so i feel like there's nothing wrong with being attracted to or turned on by someone not in your relationship um like if you just see someone you're like damn like that is totally fine. But I do think a lot of people know that as well. So that if you were to come out and say, hey, I saw this person, they turned me on.

They might think you mean it in a way more serious way than you do, because I don't think it's very commonplace to, you know, like I don't go home to my girlfriend and say like, hey, I saw this hot person. You know, I was sexually aroused by them, you know, like that't go home to my girlfriend and say like hey i saw this hot person you know i was sexually aroused by them you know like that because that would be weird and if i did it would seem like there was a lot more importance behind it than just the fact that it happened um i also think unfortunately like i don't know what this person's girlfriend is like where she like is on the the sexuality scale like whether she's somewhat bi as well but i know a lot of uh bi people unfortunately get a really bad rap where it's like they're seen as like not being like actually gay or like they they always they can often end up in this really shitty like

neither one nor the other uh place where they get like you know the straight people are like oh you're not really straight and gay people like you're not really gay. Um, so I would worry that their girlfriend might take it weirdly, especially if they don't really know where they lie on that kind of issue. Um, if it is the case that you want to maybe open up your relationship, because it seems like the relationship itself is slightly open the way you're okay with her kissing other girls and she's okay with you

being attracted to other girls and you were thinking about maybe opening that end and yeah maybe that's a conversation you guys need to have but again if it's a pretty new relationship then maybe it's time you it's probably one of those things you should wait a little bit more for until you have more information to act on it i would imagine okay um i don't know like if if you guys have a strong communication and you guys you say that you're like into her mentally and to me that means you probably have like a pretty good solid like talking you know i mean like you you guys connect on a on a more than just a physical you know superficial level um so i'm going to assume that you have like enough of a background to to open that dialogue i don't

necessarily like if if this is the first person you're ever coming out to i think that's a big deal and i think coming out to your partner is is one of the i don't know it's a scary idea for sure because like now said like you don't know how they're going to react okay wait wait is this a guy talking about his girlfriend yes oh i thought it was two girls the girl the whole time no no no this is sorry this was a this is a guy dating a girlfriend oh i don't know why you said it but you made it seem like it was two girls i was so sure it was two girls no sorry sorry this is this was two girls. No, sorry, sorry. This is a man who is having

sexual thoughts about other men. Oh, okay. Then my advice would be slightly different. I do still think it's possible that the girl might get weird about it, but I think maybe less so. I mean, it's

hard to say, right? It depends for every person. I'm sorry sorry how long were they dating for again four weeks ago yeah so that's pretty fucking new yeah yeah it's really new i just like if if she's not cool with you being bisexual at four weeks she's not gonna be cool with you being bisexual a year from now you know what i mean so i i don't i think this is something if this is part of your identity i think putting that on the from now you know what i mean so i i don't think i think this is something if this is part of your identity i think putting that on the table is you know maybe not necessarily be like i'm surrounded by hot men and all i want to do is fuck them i don't know if that might be the strongest scenario but to to bring it up like if this is part of who you are and how long you're

dating someone doesn't really matter because if they're not cool with it not cool with it if they are they are well i think it kind of depends what you want like if you just want to be like hey i'm bi sure 100 tell them right now if you want to continue this relationship but occasionally like introduce like guys into it as well um i guess if it's a deal breaker sure do it right now but if it's not going to be a deal breaker like if it's just something you could you know take it or leave it then you probably might if the relationship is more important to you than opening it up to also having men i don't think it's a bad thing to wait until you have better information but yeah don't like if you want to let them know that you're bi 100%, like, you make a really good point, because it is part of you. And like,

if they don't accept it early on, they're not going to accept it later on. So it's like, why waste all that time? It's better to just figure it out and get out even if it's a bad situation, at least it'll hurt less than when you put so much more time and like, like made more of a connection. But i think it really depends on what you want out of the relationship like if you just want them to know that you occasionally find guys attractive sure tell them but if you do want to open up the relationship four weeks in i think that's kind of quick so is is this just to clear up out of the information we have is this guy did this guy say he was bi or did he say that he has found himself

attracted to guys lately? So the subject of the email was sharing my bisexual thoughts with my girlfriend. Yeah, I think sharing my bisexual thoughts with my girlfriend, being bisexual and coming out to my girlfriend

and bringing guys into the relationship with my girlfriend or anything like that. I think those are two different things. And I think they're miles apart from one another. I think it's one thing to have feelings and attraction and waves. Like I am a very gay man. And it always, when I was like 13, 14, I had like really strong, like attraction towards women. And like thinking back to it now, it just boggles my mind. I think that the older I get, the more I believe in fluidity as like a more natural thing that comes to just about everybody. And we all have a little bit of

fluidness inside of us. And I think that that whole thing is beautiful. But if you're just fine, if you've been dating a girl for four weeks and you're finding yourself having bisexual thoughts, I think just quite simply, just do you have your bisexual thoughts. I think four weeks is like, that's like preliminary dating. If you have a connection with this girl, that's great.

I wouldn't go rush and make any major decisions or anything. I might explore and see what these bisexual thoughts are. I might watch some gay porn and see what that does for me or watch some bisexual porn, see what that does for me or, you know, something before jumping into rash things with a girl that you've been dating for four weeks. I also think like, if you do want to share these thoughts with her, it's like she can, like if she's off kissing other girls and stuff, I surely you would hope she would get it as well.

That's what I was going to say too. The girl sounds cool. If she's kissing girls and hanging out and everything like this whole thing sounds pretty casual to me. If I was him, I would, I probably wouldn't take it too seriously, but I'm saying that in like gay skin and,

and everything. If I was, if I was a guy and I was having bisexual thoughts and I just met a cool girl, yeah, it would probably be a, it'd probably be a pretty, pretty intense feeling. My advice would be just explore your feelings a little bit and see if these feelings are like an actual identity, I guess. Like, cause he's not saying he's bisexual. He's saying that he's having feelings. And I just think that those are, those two two things are pretty can be pretty far apart sometimes you just meet a really hot guy yes exactly yeah like i thought there's there's like times that i may have thought about

women or such like or found girls attractive like i think fluidity exists inside of everybody like sometimes you just meet a hot guy sometimes just you just get a little curious. Sometimes you just, you've been eating a lot of sushi. Sometimes you want some pizza kind of thing. And then sometimes you are bisexual and sometimes it is a thing or sometimes you're gay. Do I think that's, I think that's something you have to explore within yourself and get comfortable in with yourself before bringing that onto and with somebody that you've been dating for four weeks four weeks is nothing i've had i've had socks come and go in four weeks like that i think that four weeks is nothing i know you're talking about masturbating into those socks that sounds like that you're talking

about i have had many a cum sock after a year after many a cum sock over the years this is by throw ra rexon uh i'm not gonna maybe read out the question title let's keep this a little secret uh posting under a throwaway because my post reach its cap and i need advice gross situation but my parents told me it's okay because we're all adults my boyfriend who we call Sam, is a bit older than me, 34 years old versus me, 23-year-old. That's never been a problem before. We've been dating for over a year now, so things are pretty serious. When he came to meet my parents over dinner, however, hell broke loose. I thought everything was going fine at first. I've had boyfriends be shy around my parents before. They can be intimidating. But about an hour into our dinner, my mom pulled me aside.

She explained to me that she and my dad already knew my boyfriend. Obviously, I was confused as they had appeared to introduce themselves for the first time not that long ago. My mom explained that 10 years ago, she and my father had taken part in a threesome with Sam,

but it was all in the past. I don't want to hear anymore, but she told me they'd all slept together a handful of times. In retrospect, I didn't take it well and I left their house by foot and ran until I was far away enough to call for an Uber. I've been home a few hours now. Sam has called me literally hundreds of times trying to talk, but I don't want to answer. The whole thing makes me feel sick.

I picked up a call from my parents who told me to calm down and handle the situation like an adult. My mom called me immature for being so freaked out by the thought of her and my dad having sex. And she said that if I'm going to be part of a growing relationship, I need to be able to handle this type of thing more appropriately. I see a future with Sam, but I never expected my parents

to be a part of our history. I really do love him a lot. And I know it's not his fault that he chose to be involved with my parents such a long time ago. Is there a chance our relationship could survive this? And this is by, my boyfriend has a sexual history with my

parents. Can we still survive? How old is the boyfriend? 34. And 23 is the kid, or the son, the girl. Are these two guys? No, it's a girl and a guy, and a mom and a dad who are both a girl and a guy.

Is it bad that I think this is kind of hot? Like this is like when I find, when I fall down like the deep porn wormhole and I just start looking up weird shit, like this is just something that would probably, the situation is probably something that I would get off on. I think it's fun. I think the whole thing is a lot of fun.

It makes me want to take a shot. Where's my bourbon? You can definitely take a shot. Do it makes me want to take a shot where's my bourbon you definitely take a shot do it oh man we've set them off i don't know if i have advice i would just what can you do you like the guy that your parents like it's just it's a damn good story to tell for the rest of your lives you can't tell that story for the rest of your life can you imagine pulling that out at the wedding? I would. I absolutely would.

And that's the best way to deal with something like that. Only. I get it though man. If I bring a girl home for Thanksgiving dinner. And at one point I'm helping my mom mash the potatoes in the kitchen. And she leans over and whispers in my ear. That girl. Yeah exactly.

Because there are things that detract attraction from people um and then and it could be any number of things it could be like actions it could be things people say like i remember i was super into a girl until i heard her go off and she went like on this like huge anti-semitic rant and i was just like you're you're so hot but now you are so unattractive oh obviously um and i just want to so like i think i don't know if i would ever be able to like really get sexually into someone that i know that my dad has also been into literally literally yeah this is i would i would just love to know how far away by foot she made it until she deemed it was far enough away to call for an uber that's a really weird way to put it until i was far enough

to call for an uber you know maybe i'm so casual about it because like my parents are a little younger than most people's parents and growing up i just said we were a very open family and we were all like once i was a teenager we were all just more like friends rather than parents and kids. And like I would have my boyfriend over and we would have sex in the house and nobody cared. And, you know, I'll tell you guys this full story off of off of the podcast. But I have a friend whose mother slept with knowingly somebody that her daughter slept with. And then they were all in the same room at some point and everybody knew it. And it was hearing the story makes me laugh really hard. slept with and then they were all in the same room at some point and everybody knew it and uh

it was hearing the story makes me laugh really hard and this one made me laugh really hard too there are worse things in the world i would these these this this situation hilarious and kind of hot well i think you just gotta even the playing field and fuck his parents here here i'm taking another shot. Right? Kyle's gone off. Okay, but I think we're looking at this from, as us, three people who are not involved in this, it is funny. But imagine, now, little empathy here.

Imagine if your parents told you that they have fucked your partners. One thing,yle kind of kind of raised it a second you i'm assuming and i could be totally wrong that these parents are cool parents you know i mean i assume this didn't come as a surprise right if my parents told me this it would come as a massive surprise you know like it would be it would be in like the realm of like completely unthinkable like it wouldn't even be like possible you know and i'm not talking about just this current relationship i mean just any like it just wouldn't eat like my brain wouldn't even be able to comprehend it because it'd be so much of a surprise i'm gonna

guess this parent it's threesome having you know pull you into the hallway to be like btw fucked your boyfriend duo are pretty chill parents especially like they're like yeah we fucked your boyfriend act like an adult and just walk out you know what i mean like these are cool parents i assume she's probably always worried every boyfriend she's like this is the one it doesn't matter if your parents are fucking, you know, doing ollies in the driveway. They're so cool. These parents can definitely do a kickflip. Like, let's just strip away any of that.

But like the the idea of a parental figure or anyone in your family having sex with your partner. It's like that question we had about the fucking Skype sex, where he was like, I'm into your mom. There's no way past it, I don't think, personally. I think it would be very weird. As much as it sucks, I literally do not think I'd be able to have sex with that person ever again without thinking about my parents also having sex with that person.

Just mauling them. There's two of them and only one of you. Yeah. Yeah, you know what? I i'm sticking i'm sticking you guys can think i'm a freak or i'm weird or whatever like my parents are cool like now you've met my parents like they're they're young and cool i remember the first time my parents met my boyfriend he wasn't my boyfriend yet we were all just friends at christmas dinner at my table and i yawned and my mom said, Kyle, you tired? I said, yeah, I was up all night while Brandon was fingering me at the dinner table. Like, and we all just

that's just kind of the family that I come from. So if I was, I'm not going to say I wouldn't be shocked and maybe I will be grossed out a little bit, but ultimately I would be hysterical. I would probably roll on the floor and laugh harder than I ever laughed. I wouldn't let anybody live it down either. I'd be that person that brought it up all the time and I would just laugh. I really truly would. Yeah. I don't know. I think I'd definitely be,

I'd be towards the middle, but towards the, like on the nope side. Right. And not probably that near the middle either. Like I said, you met my parents, I've met your parents.

Yeah, it would be. Oh man, it would like, I think the think just the shock alone would probably just kill me. It would be unthinkable. It would break my brain. It would just be so unexpected. I'm not going to lie.

To extrapolate on Kyle's talking about going down a porn website whole thing, I'm definitely jerking off to your parents having a threesome tonight. It's extrapolating. You have my blessing.

So advice. I think it's a personal thing. I think you have to know how you can deal with this. And if you can, you can. If you can't, you can't. But either way, don't half measure it. You know what I mean? If you literally can't, don't be either way don't half measure it you know what i mean like if you literally can't don't be like oh let's take a break let's whatever just fucking end it

and if you can you then can't be bitter at him for it having happened you need to get over it fully there is no half measure yeah this isn't yeah exactly i think that's that's like the foot has to be dropped and be like if you're going pursue this, this can't be brought up in arguments and be like, well, you fucked my parents as a bargaining chip. As powerful a bargaining chip as that is, you're not allowed to use it. Yeah, that's the thing. You have to make the sacrifice

of taking that power and throwing it out the window. However, as I said, can he do it? No, I think, well, i don't know i don't know what power move he'd be playing okay imagine this right ask me to do something you're the boyfriend right tell me tell me to do something hey babe do you mind washing the dishes tonight i'm tired you're not my fucking dad now what do you say?

I have fucked your dad. Yes! Everything about this to me is just hilarious. My advice is laugh it off. That's a power move. The dishes are getting done. They're not. They're getting smashed. They're being smashed and used to cut your throat.

Alright, dang. This comes from Agent Sloan. The title is just, Send Help! Oh god, where? Which I know, I was very concerned, but don't worry, it's not as dire as it might sound. My daughter just brought over her boyfriend.

She's a 21-year-old female. At least I think she's female. Doesn't really say. Anyway, I've been on Bumble, the better dating app here in the Philippines, versus Tinder. Also, what up, Philippines? Hell yeah. Can we just take a moment? That's awesome.

For quite some time now, I decided to get back on it during quarantine, as a lot of people did, just to pass the time. I matched with a guy, about 25 year old, about 57 days ago, exclamation mark, exclamation mark. And we've been talking every day since then. The thing is,

it's been nothing but shallow talk, sending memes, talking about the most random things, with replies hours apart and nothing else. However, the conversations never really end. I see his effort in coming up with replies, despite my deliberate attempts to end this conversation, just as a test, and yet, he still goes on. We went to the same university,

he has a few years above me, and we have a handful of common friends. About one month in, I got to ask for a review on him from one of our mutual friends. Friends say he's a pretty wholesome guy, though just got out of a relationship, vaguely, last year. I take friends' words for it, and I do a pretty wholesome guy, though just got out of a relationship vaguely last year. I take friends' words for it, and I do see how wholesome he is, and I like that.

Different from the bajillion douches I've encountered. We switched from talking in the app to Facebook Messenger after a month because he said he was going to delete the app. Character development, he joked. I'm pretty interested in this guy, possibly seriously dating him. And then she's put in brackets, I've been playing around for too long, never never had a serious relationship she also used an emoji that i've never seen in my life what is it it's like a like a drunk face emoji oh i know the one with a little like uh s kind of mouth like it looks like a little dog almost oh yeah that's like love drunk oh okay um thanks kyle thank you kyle we have our resident emoji translator here. Yeah.

I don't really know what to do next. I can't ask him out since we're all still in semi-quarantine. No staffers can sit down customers, and there are other strict protocols for public places. I'm now back in my office every day, and just a few days ago, we found out his office was right behind mine. I was sending him a random video of my view from, and he recognized my building.

Only got to ask about our jobs then. Plot twist, though. He doesn't get back to the office until July. What do I do? How can I make a move? Do I wait until July and keep this nonsense going? Would a normal guy just talk to a girl every day for almost two months and not be interested slash just to pass the time to? Yes. The answer to that last question is yes yes i think a normal guy would do that i think that there's been memes going

around too lately about people in their online quarantine boyfriends like i think a lot of single people have really found a lot of solace and felt less isolated by finding somebody on an app and just talking endlessly to them on the app and just to just for you know if you're single and you're in quarantine you're in isolation yeah maybe it's just nice to kind of online date somebody like old msn messenger style and old plenty of style or something like that would a guy just do this for a while just because he's bored i think the blunt answer is absolutely yes and if I were the person writing this, I wouldn't take any of it. It doesn't matter all of it, none of it seriously

at all. I wouldn't take anything seriously until I meet somebody. This guy could just up and block you one day. This guy could just anything. It doesn't matter. Like until you meet somebody, don't put too much thought and too much heart and too much energy into something like that at all. That's my answer. I totally get where you're coming from. And I do think it is worth noting that like during isolation and quarantine and all this craziness that like the kind of usual rules are a little bit out the window. So definitely take it with a pinch of salt. I do want to say, firstly, you're our number one friend of the show from Philippines.

So anyone else listening from the Philippines, I'm sorry, but you are not in the top of the running. We love it. But like, yeah, it is possible that, you know,

isolation quarantine, all this stuff is pretty hard. So Kyle makes a really good point. It could just be, you know, loneliness and like being able to talk to someone. I'm sure there's a lot of people out there who are gaining a lot of solace from this kind of interaction. Do I think it means that he isn't interested? No. Do I think it means he's

100% interested? No, either. I can't say either way, but I think it's definitely, if we're looking at it in a percentage, know 50 being meh zero percent being hard no it's probably up in the 60s 70s at the very least you know because i think there's a difference between wasting your time like i don't think anyone would waste their time uh it doesn't mean they're ready to marry you tomorrow though if this guy wasn't interested in like meeting you or hanging out i don't think you'd be like hey we work like side by side like that's yeah that's that's a pretty good indication because that's shifting things from the conversation aspect to like the real world like that's that's a little tie-in that's a bridge over to to real life um although i'm concerned that you call talking to

him nonsense and that you want to uh to stop talking to him as a test. But those are different concerns. Yeah, I mean, I think that's more just like if it is just, you know, if you're just sending memes back and forth. Hey, memes can be deep. We talked about Grumpy Cat earlier. It's true. We did. Yeah, I think you definitely have what could possibly blossom into some sort of

relationship. I think we have, when you're on apps like that, especially Tinder and stuff, it's so easy to make new matches. So I think that if there wasn't something, you know, enticing about you,

he would have moved on. Yeah know what i mean like especially like i moved on from people matches within like a couple minutes when i was in my like tinderhole if someone the second someone started to get boring or start asking the boring normal questions and i match with someone new it's like well this person's more interesting and it's terrible as it sounds but it's like that's kind of the whole point of like this instant gratification culture that we live it so the fact that he's stuck around for two months is is an indication that there's something there i don't like like kyle said is it marriage no is it's is it a guarantee that you guys are gonna date i don't know but like i think at least there's a chance to meet up and

have a date and see what happens. Also, I think as per Kyle's point, people are looking for this kind of escapism and blah blah blah through dating sites and whatnot. If they didn't like you, they could also just

find out with somebody else. I doubt you're the only person who decides to talk to them. So i think that also skews to the positive i feel like app dating and especially for people younger than us like even notice how she said like we stopped talking on bumble because he deleted the app and then we started talking on facebook messenger character development like to me that little moment right there showed me how seriously people take app dating. And it really is a life of its own. For her, that's maybe a next step. I would consider going on a first date to holding hands or something to be a step.

It's like, ooh, we stopped talking on Bumble. We started talking on Facebook. I think some people take app dating and online dating way more serious than other people. So I'm putting myself in both these people's shoes when I hear what they're saying. And if I'm the guy, I'll be honest, call me a dick if you want. There's definitely been people that I have sat around out of boredom when I was single and had a whole lot of pillow texting to just because I was bored. And just because I wanted to pillow text with them, never them never cared like dane said swipe somebody else or found somebody else that was interesting did the same thing with them did the same thing with them i've also been

would you do the whole oh wait our offices are right beside each other yeah maybe i don't know when it comes to i just don't take any of it like if i have not met somebody in person i don't i don't know you i don't take it that seriously and um i guess not met somebody in person I don't I don't know you I don't take it that seriously and um I guess call it selfish but I guess I'm kind of just looking for my own entertainment when I'm on an app you I'm saying this I haven't been on apps in years but when I was when I was I would be more concerned with my own short-term entertainment than somebody else's long-term feelings because that's how seriously I never took apps or anybody on them. Now, if I met somebody on the app and I went out and I had

a date with them or we slept together or we did that or whatever, there's a whole new level of humanity there. And then I would start psychoanalyzing and then I would start assessing and then I would start messaging into podcasts. But until then, I just really would not take anybody that I've never met that seriously or put too much thought in it. Just me. And that's kind of a smart way to be because you don't know who's out there and how seriously the guy in the office building down the street is taking all this time that you're spending talking to him. So on the advice side of things, what is the next step? And unfortunately, I'm not sure

how well we can answer this because I don't know what the COVID restrictions are in Philippines. Yeah. Oh, true. Yeah. You did say just take it with a grain of salt. There's nothing wrong with just continue talking and take it with a grain of salt.

If when it does come time to meet up and that's just an easy thing, and they are problem solved, nothing had to happen. But if restrictions are down and you can meet up and this guy's still dicking around and go swipe somebody else, do this whole thing over. I think like July was kind of dropped in the message as if it's like

really far away. And it really isn't like it's coming up quick and compared to the amount of isolation and quarantine that people have already gone through. It's like, you can last those two, like fucking two weeks. people have already gone through it's like you can last those two like fucking two weeks like literally it's it's crazy uh less so when this episode comes out um so yeah keep waiting and like if if restrictions are eased somewhat like there's nothing wrong with like a little you know isolation date like maybe meet up in the open air

stay the two meters apart actually talk to each other the thing is, if he's going to come out, agree to that, hang out with you, you'll get a better idea of one, if you actually like them, because like people in person are always a little different, if not massively different. And two, if he's willing to go and do that, then it's probably a pretty solid indication that he likes you too. You know, I might even step up my texting game or my Facebook messaging game, because if I am talking to somebody for that long, I'd probably be sending some body shots or getting

things a little... Like, it wouldn't just be all memes and chit-chat kind of deal. Like, you know, see if there's any chemistry that way. Like, if I know that the guy who I'm talking to got a big old dick, I might be more inclined to take things a little bit more... But right now, it all sounds very casual Kelly.

And, you know, I would put more thought into what's going to be for dinner then what's what's up with the guy in the office building down the street that's a good point i mean there's there's no harm in making moves via text you know i mean like yeah there's there's no harm in you know sending those you know slightly suggestive texts and maybe like if there's a response to that you know a cute little picture of you in bed like it doesn't have to be salacious but there can be there can be subtext there can be you know hints at at something um and i i would highly doubt i don't think most guys would respond poorly to that if they're in t yeah how about even a little like hey wish we could meet up pity all this covid is ruining everyone's lives oh there's always webcams wink have a little webcam date

we talked about this at the start of uh of all this isolation stuff you know i mean you guys could play a game online you could do jackbox games you could do even just like a little meet up right like just be like hey let's call each other for an hour, have a drink. You know, you can definitely do stuff even, even without like meeting up in person. Yeah. I mean like if, if the restrictions allow it,

fuck it. Yeah. Go have lunch together out in a park. If you're allowed to on, you know, you're for his first day back, be like, Hey,

I know going back to work sucks. I'll make it better. Let's go have lunch together. Yeah. Or even just like a walk on your lunch break. And the good thing about that is it's, it's timed, right?

It's an hour. So it's like, if it sucks, it's just an hour. And if it's great, then it'll leave. Yeah. You have an out too,

but if it's really good, then it's like, it's almost like a little tease. It'll leave you both like really wanting more. I think like make a move. Now's the time it's getting close enough. I don't think the, the vague, like, cause if he's a shy guy and you're a shy girl like you're gonna constantly be waiting for the first

person to make a move make the fucking move worst thing that's gonna happen is he says oh no thanks i'm good and then okay great have you wasted time no because all you were doing is sitting in your house anyway yeah also you're a badass for making the first move. So you've got that. Plus side, he says, yes, thank God. I can't wait to meet you. And then great. Now you meet, you play it out like normal human beings and you see where it goes.

And those are really your only two options. Or, you know, third option, stay in, you know, online purgatory forever. Yeah. But you got to let us know how it goes. Please do. We would love an update. good luck this sounds fun yeah um i know we're going long but we this is pride episode i don't give a fuck we have kyle here so let's let's do another question all right um okay i got a few i got a lot what are you guys feeling what kind of question would you like? Well, we had... Do you have anything deep?

We haven't had anything deep, have we? I want another question that's going to make Kyle do two shots of bourbon. So this is by Kimberly Yolam. My boyfriend called out a video game character's name during sex. My boyfriend has been playing a game with a pretty in-depth dating sim lately, reading smutty fanfings while we lay in in bed together and trying to initiate sex with me after last night while we were fucking he said oh character's name you're so hot i immediately stopped the sex and slept on the couch and i don't know what to do now i don't even want to

look him in the eyes or let him touch me right now and he hasn't said anything about it just tried to make casual conversation this morning which i'm still too uncomfortable to return are you done is that a question that's it boo fucking who bitch i say i would kill for a boyfriend nerdy enough to call me a video game character's name while he was fucking me i would live for that in a moment all i I'm thinking the whole time is, what did he call you? Like, I would love that. That would be fun. I say lighten up. I am heartbroken that she didn't say the name. Yeah, fuck this question.

You can't say that someone calls you a video game character and then don't include the name of the character. I know. She is upset about this. Like, she went to the couch. There are horrible problems in the world. If my boyfriend called me a video game character thing he's probably listening to this right now if he called me link he could

call me fucking wario i don't care i'd say fuck me you are quite a wario yeah like i definitely wouldn't get upset about this i think i would mock them mercilessly i once woke my girlfriend up and she was like no mom and i was like what nothing like literally just tried to wake her up so like she'd go to bed she was on the couch did I get upset about that no I laughed my ass off I mock her still to this day you know what this

could be though looking on another side of things she could be one of those girls that is jealous of her boyfriend's video games because that is a fucking thing oh all edwin does is play final fantasy like jesus christ i can't get any time and then like it translates into sex yeah i can see that being a thing i can definitely see that that being a thing if she's already jealous of video games to begin with he doesn't give her enough loving in time because he's all

hooked up in his uh his switch and then uh he calls her oh i just want to know what he called her yeah well if it's a dating sim it's probably not like a oh dating something we know yeah you guys have you guys ever played a dating sim i'm not really sure what they are i remember like do you guys remember a site called new grounds yeah yeah dane you remember there were like little dating sims on that but that's as far as i know about dating simulation games i was featured on the front page of new grounds shut the front door were you yeah several times oh now you're in ireland that's probably why you don't you didn't know um yeah i guess there's a couple different ways to look at this like my initial thought is

again i don't know maybe i'm horny because i'm like that's kind of hot kyle do you just need to get fucked i don't know you're just ch horny because I'm like, that's kind of hot. Kyle, do you just need to get fucked? I don't know. You're just chugging bourbon and telling us that everything's hot. I just think that if that's the worst problem in your relationship, that your boyfriend called you a fucking character's name, then I think things are pretty good. But if she is jealous of the Doting Sims and that's something, stop being jealous over your man's video games.

There, I said it. And I'm speaking for a million men out there who can't play breath of the wild in peace without their spouse getting jealous i i actually agree it's like this doesn't seem like that big of a deal and if you have a problem with it or if the reason why you have a problem with this is an extension of some other issue fucking talk about it running away and sleeping on the couch and ignoring them in the morning when they're trying to talk to you isn't the way to do it i also don't think if you went and slept on the couch and in the morning he's just having casual conversation he's also ignoring it so i don't think that's the way to go either but like be adults and just have a fucking talk

about it is it is your sexual life absolutely like devoid like does it exist until he like you know plays this game and then reads fan fiction about this game and that's the only way he'll have sex with you because that i think is inherently a problem as well yeah like i i don't think that she's not within a right to be upset with being like oh the only time my boyfriend wants to fuck me is after he's like psyched himself up to fuck an imaginary person. 100%. But if that's the issue, one, tell us that's the issue, and two, you still gotta talk about it.

Yeah, no, 100%. This idea that if you're upset, when it happened, you should have been like, hey, what the fuck was that? And then, or even, you know what, fine. You're so upset, you go to the couch, you don't want to talk about it. The next morning, you should definitely be like, hey, so last night, you know what, fine. You're so upset. You go to the couch. You don't want to talk about it.

The next morning, you should definitely be like, hey, so last night, and then talk about it. Yeah. In the comments, she says, I just don't even know how to talk about it with him. I've never been good at confrontation. This is bizarre. He's definitely not getting laid for a few days, though. I can tell you that. But that's worse than confrontation.

Passive aggressiveness is so much worse than confrontation. It's better to have a confrontation and blow up and have a fight and something of it then sit around and mope and avoid each other and be passive aggressive for a couple days on end it sounds exhausting yeah the best part is like passive aggressiveness isn't gonna lead to no confrontation it's just gonna make the confrontation worse i'm really selfish because i'm reading these i'm hearing these questions especially this one and. And all I'm thinking, like, I've had three boyfriends and none of them were nerdy. And, like, I want a nerdy boyfriend. Like, that would just do it for me.

That would just power me up for somebody to. Bourbon's already powering you up. I'm on Prosecco now. I just poured myself a glass. I'm walking around the house with my headphones, pouring myself different liquors. So, yeah, I say lighten up, and if you got a problem, yeah, don't be passive-aggressive about it.

Confront the man. Yeah, figure out why you're upset, and then let them know that in as non-aggressive a sense as you can. You would rather have a discussion than a fight about this, and hopefully they'll see it from your side and unless this character is is like weird like like a four

year old girl you know i mean like unless she's like a like a child um why not like lean into a fantasy like you now know this is something he's into like i don't think like if you mentioned that like if you had a you know sexy fireman calendar or something and one day he showed up in a fireman costume you'd probably be hyped about it i don't like there's there's really no difference between that again unless this character is inappropriate to want to have sex with you know on that note can i just say i've never like I'm not a very freaky person, and role-playing has never done it for me. The idea of role-playing has never done it for me,

except in the realm of, like, video games. Like, if I could be Sub-Zero, and my boyfriend could be Scorpion, and that could come into the bedroom, I think that would be so motherfucking hot. And not just the, get over here. Just anything. Would you do a whole fight and everything? Would you make sure he knows the moves?

I just want the costumes. I want the costumes with a little hole in somebody's ass and a little hole in somebody's mouth, and I just want to recreate some sort of Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, Ryu and Ken. all these all these hot fucking guys from video games

pass I want to bring that into the bedroom it would be really cool hey you know what if you do let us know how it goes also if you're doing moral combat you have to you have to yell finish him yeah yeah oh my god combo breaker when you like flip around so you're on

top if you come and they don't you say flawless victory yeah exactly all right ready for i think the last one oh yes i want to end let's just do a four hour long episode hey that's a great idea for the boy in the sweat box yep well i have like literally 30 more questions well you have one more to say. All right. This is by Dikarop. Or Drikarop. Girlfriend won't stop saying, let's churn and burn. My girlfriend made up a phrase, which she repeats about 30 times a day. Let's churn and burn.

It's been about four to six weeks of this, and there's no end in sight. Any advice? Does it mean fuck? She probably just says it all the time. Like, it's probably just one of those things. Like, you both live with your partners. Has your partner never just started doing something, or maybe they always did it, and then you just notice it,

and it just fucking irks you? And it's not even a big deal. It just gets under your skin, and you just want to say, where did that come from? Why are you doing that? Don't do it. I can only imagine a white dad at a restaurant after he's paid the bill, looking to the table and rubbing his

ass again and going, right, gang, let's churn and burn. That's how I see it. As in, let's rock and roll. Let's hit the streets. Let's leave. If it's like, you're about to make dinner, she's like, alright, let's churn and burn. Or if you guys are going

for a walk, she's like, okay, let's churn and burn or you know if if you guys are going for a walk she's like okay let's churn and burn yeah i would really i think it works no well i mean i'm not saying it doesn't work but i'm not it's also like if that's just what she says it could be cute i don't know i'm not sure how i feel about this if if that's her euphemism for sex hell yeah then i'm on board with it. How about you take her literally, you get an upset stomach so it's churning, and you put hot sauce everywhere so y'all are burning, and she's never going to do it again.

Or maybe she's really into making butter and smoking weed. Dude, that sounds like a lovely day. It really does. Churn butter and get high. Zen, if I've ever heard zen. I think this is a little bit more serious than, like, it's meant. Like, I can actually really relate to this. Like, my boyfriend's in the other room.

He's going to hear me talk about this. He's going to be really mad. I'm going to get all passive aggressive and sleep on the couch after this. But, like, one day I just noticed that he hummed a lot. He, like like does this and it's not a big deal kind of something like this churn and burn and i was like maybe he always did it maybe he just started to do it but it just started fucking driving me nuts and i was just like did you always hum like that he's like what are you talking about like y'all just do this like little hummy thing and i made a joke about it i'm like oh you're suppressing your rage that you don't

kill me and it's gonna hum through it so maybe that's a way to bring it up is turn it into a little bit of joke. But if it's driving you crazy, you've got to bring it up in one way or fashion. And I can relate to what this guy is saying. I really, truly can. Well, this is a good question because maybe this always happened.

And it wasn't until you were isolated together for COVID that you realized that she does it constantly. Like maybe that's her thing at work. You know what I mean? Like maybe she works in a butter factory and is constantly high, you know? So she's just like, hey, let's turn a burn. I think similar to what Dan was saying, figure out when she says it, like what's the situation.

And you have to get there first every time. And then start doing it times when that's not appropriate. Basically just poison the well. Do it so many times that she hates it. You have to take this from her. The danger is, do you ever say something like as a piss take? You know what I mean? Like when you hear like that, that shitty like new slang and you're like, oh, it's lit.

Ha ha ha. But then like, you know, in a few weeks you're like, oh shit, that is lit. And you're like, oh no,'s lit. But then like, you know, in a few weeks, you're like, oh shit, that is lit. And you're like, oh no, I've become what I hated most. That's what's going to happen. You're going to start saying, let's churn and burn, seriously. But that's fine, because then it's problem solved. If you're cool with churn and burn, if it's now a thing,

then she'll hate it, and you're the problem. Hey, it's better than having a problem. It's true. Ruin her life. Have you guys, your. Hey, it's better than having a problem. It's true. Ruin her life. Have you guys, your partners now, is this the first time you've lived with your partners or both of you? No. No. Okay.

And past or present, have your girlfriends never done anything at home or said anything that is just kind of constant? And just for no reason, It's completely innocent and whatever. And it just kind of gets under your skin. No. No? I don't think so. Oh man. She can be a little blase.

With regards to like kitchen safety. You know. Like touch raw chicken. And not immediately wash her hands. Which can upset me. That's about it. Well listen i will tell you guys that this guy's question i think this guy's question is a really normal thing and i

think that a lot of people experience it living not just with a spouse but with people and i think the fact that you guys don't experience this i think you're in the minority there i really think you are um even if like i don't know like even growing up did your brothers or sisters or anybody ever just do something or say something stupid all the time you're like oh why are you doing that maybe me and this guy are just irritable ass people and you guys are chill that's why you guys go like churning butter

and smoking weed you guys are just chill and I'm all uptight and so is this guy I want to talk to him I just want us to I just want us to like hash it out and just complain complain together. Just like rant together? Yeah, rant. I mean, there's also no harm in saying like,

hey, babe, that's driving me fucking crazy. Yeah. Can you just chill with it for a bit? Let's be fair. The type of person to say churn and burn is the type of person to say it to piss you off. Yeah. Yeah.

Hopefully it's the person who's gonna love you enough to not i always say too like for the few things that you know just like my little my boyfriend his little humming things or whatever i can only imagine what it's like living with me i am the loudest person i know i am just constantly singing and dancing and prancing and joking and cackling and god knows what else like he has patience of steel and i do a lot the reason i probably haven't had this issue is because i'm the issue yeah i'm definitely the loud annoying one that'll say some dumb shit so yeah i definitely do things that drive amanda crazy so yeah i think i think we're the problems you guys you guys should go read this question to your girlfriends

and see if they're responding more like you guys are or more like i am because i really feel like that's a really normal thing in a relationship i even see like especially considering uh quarantine i remember uh seeing a meme that was just this gorgeous girl cutting her eyes at her gorgeous boyfriend and she was like breathe louder i fucking dare you like it's just you you spend so much time around somebody you started noticing everything that they do and it drives you crazy to be fair i've been doing this really bizarre thing and i don't know why or where it came from where i'll like narrate what i'm doing at home during isolation to eat breakfast at Tiffany's

or free falling but my girlfriend just does it with me so of course she does like we'll be making lunch and be like it's a sandwich cutting up the sausage got the toast on

and there's jamming you know whatever and then she'll just be like toast the bread now turn on the oven and we'll just like sing bull bullshit to each other uh and it's only those two songs for some reason and i said what about cheese with that sausage we've been having a lot of sandwiches yeah ditto are you guys just on the topic of quarantine real quick are you guys as fat as i am right now like i've doubled in size since quarantine oh baby did you not hear what i ate yesterday oh yeah yeah you literally just said

that i feel like i did a little thickening and that just stopped like a roux which is funny because i have like a bag of harry bull a day as well as you know the odd beer and then just like a whole duck all right all right thank you very much for listening um and joining us for our pride episode um if you have a question that you'd like to send us like uh sloan or earl gray did uh this week you can hit us up on facebook at facebook.com fck buddies podcast um you can hit us up on Facebook at facebook.com slash FCK buddies podcast. You can also find us on Twitter at FCK underscore buddies. You can find us on the internet at F buddies podcast.com or plenty of

beef.ca, or you can send us an email at F buddies podcast at gmail.com. Thank you to Josh Eagle and the harvest cities for the song paper stars. And thank you very much, Kyle, for joining us. Thanks Kyle. Thank you. Thank you. It's always so much fun Kyle, for joining us. Thanks, Kyle. My pleasure. Thank you.

Thank you. It's always so much fun. Happy Pride. You always make our episodes so much better because you're amazing and we love you. Yay. Love you. And I can't wait to have you back in this closet for reals.

Oh, man. I can't wait till we go to Halo and get wrecked. Yes. Elder God. All right. You guys ready for some bad sex writing? It's going to be short but sweet. There had been a hot, sweet ball of excitement

in her lower belly, and she had been very conscious of her breasts as sexual things, full and ripe and standing out from her chest. The moon had made her feel drunk, and so had the grass, whetting her legs with its night moisture. She'd known if the boy caught her,

she would let the boy have her maidenhead. So I didn't know Stephen King was a virgin. Apparently. I can't tell if Dana's laughing really quietly. I'm sorry, I forgot to get a Pornhub comment, so I'm currently trying to furiously silence the porn videos that are currently playing all night. So the heavy breathing wasn't you, okay finish this boy off i have i hastily found

comment from xxx die go xx42 and they say wait this isn't cool math games.com great my name is dave mill. And I'm now Spain. I'm Kyle Crawford, and we've been your fuck buddies. Hell yeah. Happy Pride. Be safe. Happy Pride.