F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - FEED DROP: Session 1 - Trouble³ (Part I)

Episode Date: January 7, 2022

Join the adventure: www.noquestcast.com We begin our adventure deep in the space of the Casa-Mal system as the crew of The Maverick investigates a missing fellow TVRN, The Nightcrawler.  What should be a simple contract turns to chaos and offers more questions than answers.  Durrin recovers a relic of his past.  Merrick asks the hard questions.  Cody finds a new purpose. If you haven't listened to our World Primer, we strongly recommend you do as this campaign takes place in a homebrew setting and references concepts and terms unique to the show.   Theme Song: "Escaped from the Lost Temple" by Eugene Levitas (ASCAP) Cyber Attack by JuliusH - https://pixabay.com/music/electronic-cyber-attack-dark-epic-and-mystically-music-7594/ Short Action by John Yasutis - https://pixabay.com/music/main-title-short-action-3677/ Sanjaw Technoworld by Sanjawbeatz - https://pixabay.com/music/techno-trance-sanjaw-technoworld-2892/ Analog Sway by Fabien Renoult (BMI) & Josquin des Pres (BMI) Cinematic Moog Motion by Zen Man - https://pixabay.com/music/pulses-cinematic-moog-motion-3507/ Surface by Shannon Rothe - https://pixabay.com/music/deep-house-surface-967/ No Quest for the Wicked uses trademarks and/or copyrights owned by Paizo Inc., used under Paizo's Community Use Policy (paizo.com/communityuse). We are expressly prohibited from charging you to use or access this content. No Quest for the Wicked is not published, endorsed, or specifically approved by Paizo. For more information about Paizo Inc. and Paizo products, visit paizo.com.

🎵 Hello, and welcome to the very first episode of No Quest for the Wicked. We are starting our very first adventure, so we are glad to have you here. We start in deep space within the Casa Mall system. A well-travelled red and blue ship flies by, its name emblazoned on its left wing. The Maverick. A small but sturdy tavern, a designation sanctioned by the Federation that allows the nomadic crews who travel from port to planet exclusive access to various contracts from everything between mercenary and bounty work to delivery and diplomacy.

The Maverick is currently on an official contract from the Tavern Oversight Guild to investigate the disappearance of a ship called the Nightcrawler, a fellow tavern. It's here that we join our heroes. A hardened former assassin Yusuke running from his past and trying to start a new life. A self-exiled young Kasathan who's abandoned his clan and tradition to forge his own path. And the newest addition to the ship, currently hitching a ride as a passenger, an android with a corrupted memory, a love of 80s movies, and a penchant for kicking some ass. I have one question for you guys.

Well, two questions, actually. Are you guys ready to rock? Always. Now, more importantly, are you ready to roll? Yeah. That was a little bit more questionable, but I'll say yes. I'm more on board for that one than the last one. Fantastic.

Roll for initiative, please. Okay. Oh, fuck me. I don't know if he's being serious, but I roll. I'm 100% being serious. You are in combat right now. I know who's GMing us. That was as serious as can be, man.

That's a 17 for me, Dane, for Merrick. Okay. 15 for Cody. And a 20 for Durin. God damn it. I'm meant to be the initiative boy. I know. God damn.

Now I've got to roll some initiatives as well. A nat 16 on the start. Nat 9. Also a nat 16. Let's go. Well, I rolled a nat 18, so let's get spicy, boys. Negative one initiative, yeah?

Nope. Unfortunately, not the case. However, Durin, Terry, you're gonna go first. Oh, good. Are we talking about the situation i will let you know right now the alarm aboard the tavern the maverick blares as it pulses throughout the entire ship you hear over the intercoms the voice of captain victor benson y'all better get your asses down to the engine room right now. And

Durin, when you get this alarm and this message, you are in the sort of under-service corridors of the Maverick, and you're doing some just regular repairs and tuning up. Durin, what do you look like? Durin is a rather older

Yusuke. He's wearing just a straight-up dark blue jumpsuit for engineering purposes. And he probably has a lot of battle scars, like just like kind of underneath his fur that he tries to keep covered up. And his right eye is just a little milky, like he doesn't seem too well out of it. The corridors are meticulously and obsessively well kept every gauge and valve and pipe is polished to a shine while you have some hand in it it's mostly uh the engineer who who takes obsessive care of this ship above you are the graded floors of the ship um and you're kind of like underneath that and you hear footsteps

pounding above you like clearly on a different floor or clearly like in the vents above us above me so you you are sent so they're on like the main corridors of the ship you're underneath them in like the service tunnels gotcha so you can let me know what you would like to do all right i'm gonna start scurrying towards i guess where engineering is and use my uh my communicator to try to get Quip on the line. Cool. Give me a stealth check. All right. Oh, my God.

This won't last. I know it won't last. 31. Yeah, no, that's great. So even though you are hauling ass and talking currently, the people above you do not hear you. With the alarm blaring and how fast they're moving they don't uh they don't know you're underneath them right now and i'm going to uh what are you what are you saying to quip i'll pull up my computer quip what's the situation the whole

goddamn ship's on fire that's the situation what caused it it looks like terrors i think terrors so you know actually give me a culture check no no you've been in the world long enough you would know so terrors are a group of essentially marauders and ravagers that will literally board ships and tear them apart from the inside and they do it mostly for fun but also to like scavenge resources and shit but they don't like take prisoners and they don't take ships they literally pull everything apart out of just their sure love of destruction take what they want and then fuck off and that is and that is currently what's happening on the ship quip give me the location i'm heading i'm on my way get to the

goddamn engine room you were the captain you hear a large crash behind you and you look behind you and you see one of the terrors and usually terrors are fairly small and wiry they're not really big on like eating and getting bulky this man however is the opposite he is a fucking brick shithouse he's huge and he's got sort of this like metal that has been cast over his head that looks like it's probably just been like poured on top of him. And he has these two fists that also look like they've been dipped in molten metal and cast in like permanent fist form, essentially. And where the metal meets skin, it's all raw and blistered and red. And he has these, like, tubes all

over him, and they don't seem to be going into anything or serving any purpose other than just to have put them in. There is, however, several tanks welded into him with this, like, green liquid that are all funneling and feeding

into the back of his neck. Now, are we level one? Because I'm worried. What do you mean? It's just space bane. We shouldn't be too worried. Has me terrified. I'm yet to come up with a plan for space bane. Well, you're better

because he sees you and is now crawling through these tunnels and like uppercutting the the grates in his way out of his way like a shark through like water and is just just pounding his way towards you there's nothing more terrifying than a shark uppercutting its way through the water um and unfortunately the terrorist did roll first so he's coming at you. Oh, no. Okay. Does a 19 hit your kinetic AC?

Oh, yeah. With authority, sir. So as he's like just charging and like on his elbows, punching his way through these grates to get to you. When he finally does reach you, he just brings a fist just like straight down. He can't do anything else but punch and bludgeon with his fist because they have been permanently cast into metal and he lands a hit on you for uh four points of damage and that goes into stamina correct that comes off stamina first correct all right um so now you have an options of you can keep moving through the service tunnels

or you can fight shit Shit, that's a... I feel like they're both terrible options. But what would Durin feel? Durin got hit hard. So Durin would be like, continue to book it through the service tunnels until he can find a place where he would have an advantage. So he would probably book it at this point. Okay, give me an engineering roll.

Ah, there it is. I knew what I'd pay for those, that 19, that 16. I got an 11. Okay, that's enough. You've been working this ship long enough to know that at the next juncture, there is a steam valve. Okay, yeah, 100% going to lead him towards it to try to set up a, like, quote-unquote trap, or at least buy myself some time. Perfect. Give me a stealth check check and this will be you

trying to hide behind the pipe and setting the trap uh this is a 22 perfect so he's he's gonna do a quick perception check to see no he definitely no he almost got you though he's got metal in his eyes man come on um he keeps blasting forward towards the junction that you went and he stops sort of where it goes either direction and he takes a look down both sides and you just blast him with this steam

and he's going to take some damage because it's hot he takes four points of fire damage how does he feel about that fire damage I'm assuming he's experienced it before from the way his fleshy is. Oh yeah. But he still hates it. Like this wasn't a good experience.

So like, yeah, no, he, and he sort of just like, and he takes a, he's going to take a swing at the pipe. He just swings at it and he smashes it.

And with it, he manages to like bend it so that the steam is now directed away from him, and he now sees you again. Okay. And it is your turn. Oh, okay. So at this point, I'm going to use probably my, I don't think we're going to run at this point. Some damage has been done, but I have my Pulsecaster pistol with me, which is non-lethal, of course, and I'm just going to try to take him out with it. Okay.

Roll a range attack. Not great. 12, I guess, and I'm just gonna try to take him out with it. Okay. Roll a, uh, range attack. Not great. Twelve, I guess, against EAC, I believe? Uh, yes. That is not enough. So you just shoot and he holds up his, like, you know, metal fist and it just kind of goes wide and crashes into one of the

sides of the other pipes that begins like hissing and squealing. What? Actually, no, he's going to, it's his turn. He's going to attempt to hit you. That is another 19. Yeah, that'll do it. Okay.

So that's only three points of damage this time. As this time he sort of grabs you and kind of like tosses you down the hall to get you away from the pipes. Duren's having to think. If you want, you can always roll an engineering check and I will let you know what is in your vicinity. I feel like I want to come up with a plan, though.

I feel like Duren's clever enough. I wish I was as clever as Duren, to be honest. I love the image of you being picked up by two welded fists and thrown because it's just very childlike yeah it's literally just like just two hands in like in between the fists and just sort of like an over the shoulder yeet just throwing a big old rat man i think i am going to use engineering i guess to try to find the nearest airlock uh okay so would be, that would not be in the tunnels. That would be a far, you might find, there might be a few like exhaust ports.

But if you're looking to like heat this man into space, there would be nothing like that in the service tunnels. But there would be some exhaust ports for like getting rid of, like if there's ever a gas leak or something down here. You'd be able to open those and sort of like drain out any sort of toxic gases so it wouldn't be big enough to to put this man through but it could be enough to like get him stuck or slow him down for sure are we anywhere near people like is this like the we're in the tunnels right i'm assuming we're nowhere near where like there's general population correct uh so you're in the ship and it's just you and the crew okay so the only other people you'd be looking for are either crew members or the terrors that you can still hear like above you tearing shit apart. Okay.

I'm going to use the tunnels and try to get to one of the other crew members for assistance. Okay. Then he is going to just rip a chunk of metal and try to throw it at you as you scurry away from him. With two hands again. It is not great. He kind of like smashes a chunk of metal and then as it's in the air, punches it to launch it towards you. And that's only going to be a,

that's a 12 against EAC. EAC. Okay. Oh no, sorry. This is, this is kinetic. This is KAC. Yeah, we're good. We're good. That, that. Oh no, sorry, this is kinetic. This is KAC.

Yeah, we're good, we're good. That bounces off my second skin. Yeah, so it's not enough. Like, this is not a precision attack at all. He's literally just knocking things in the air and then punching them as hard as he can at you. So he goes wide, and as you scurry, you see a very brief flash of another Yosuke run past you.

And he's a small albino Yosuke wearing a jumpsuit in the red and blue maverick colors. He has a pair of welder goggles that sit atop his head and a small metal container, almost like a backpack, but it's built into the jumpsuit. And his crooked tail seems to have been cut short, missing about like a third of it. And you hear, Stop hurting my baby! And Quip appears, and he charges this guy, and he ends up,

these little drones pop out of his back, and they're not really doing anything, but they're enough to distract him, as he sets up a panel on the side of the wall it's like a diagnostic panel and he turns on it so it begins flashing and he deactivates the drones and this terror looks at this flashing panel and at anger tries to punch quip and quip sort of slides under him and he punches the this electric panel and which quip then hits another button and just charges him full of electricity

and with his metal fists conducts quite well. And Quip sort of like walks over his electrified charred body and he looks at you and says, I just want to make it very clear that the baby is the ship and not you.

No, no, you've made that very clear in the past, Quip and not you no no you've you made that very clear in the past thank you how many times you had this conversation how bad is the rest of the ship uh let's just say that this situation is a plus oh good okay no this is bad i'm saying that this terrible shit show down here is best case scenario for us. No, no, no. I understood. I got it. I got it. I got it. Okay.

Well, I've got several fires to put out, both literal and metaphorical. So please get down and help the captain while I keep this ship in the goddamn air. And he goes scurrying down the tunnel to do whatever he has to do. And I'll start scurrying in my own direction towards the captain.

Fantastic. Merrick, what were you doing before all this shit happened? What time of the day? Like, is it late at night? Is it just like an afternoon, an evening? You guys are traveling through space towards a contract to an SOS beacon of another tavern. So you guys were just like on route.

Cool. I was probably just in my room writing notes, just like cataloging my day, writing in my journal. Perfect. So you are rudely interrupted as this alarm blares out in the corridor. And you hear the message of the captain telling everyone to get to the engine room. Merrick gets up. He puts on his robe over his second skin armor, puts his pistol in his left hand, picks up his notebook with the hand number three and four, and heads out through his door. Merrick, what do you

look like? So Merrick, being a Kasatha, is like a six foot five tall, slender gray alien. He's almost got that like cone head shape from the old school alien things. He's got black eyes. He's wearing this now heavy cloth robe

that he sort of also covers his mouth black and yellow. He's got his black blade in his right hand. Still this gun is left. And he still has his other two hands at the bottom are still writing notes in his notebook. Even as he walks. Perfect.

Give me a perception check. All right. As you look around, you step out into the corridors of the Maverick and the interior is like a muted crimson, like blue and red are kind of the, the Maverick colors. And this pulsing red alarm makes this muted crimson even more vibrant as you

can hear sort of like the chaos echoing through the other passageways. Cool. Perception is only a five. Not great. No, not great. We're getting pretty white day one. You don't hear as two terrors approach you from behind,

and another one comes from either end. So you are now currently flanked by three. Okay. And these guys are much smaller than the one that Durham was fighting. They're thin, but still, like, lean and muscular. So are these humans, or are they just humanoid? These are humans, yes. Okay.

So both of them have been heavily modified with cybernetics, gauges, tubes, and pumps that cover their body. All kind of like, again, feeding into one another, not really doing anything. There is a small tank of this green liquid that's embedded into the right shoulder. The first has like this thick tangle of cables that have been tied back almost like hair, like dreadlocks. And the other one has these two rounded metal nubs that upon seeing you, he just sort of screeches and two

grotesque blades pop out of either one. And the other one just has this sharpened metal chunk. And they charge you. Alright. Oh no. That's a natural 20 all right let's let's kill me now dane session one party wipe yeah so i'm happy about that and this is the the dude with the like two blade hands well i rolled minimum damage so you're only going to

be taking six points of damage all right um. These hallways are pretty narrow so they can't really group up on you too much but you are being flanked so there's another guy coming in at you and that's only going to be a 13 against your KAC. No, that's no good. Then it is your turn. Alright. So Merrick takes a stance

this little black ball of energy that floats around his head goes into the palm of his hand as a long beam of black light appears, and he mutters to them, What made you do this? Why are you like this? Who hurt

you? As he swings at the man who cried out with his blade of black light. Entering photon mode as his body glows a light hue of red. That's a 20 to hit. That 20? No, no, no. Not natural.

I got excited. I thought this was going to be a cutoff. No revenge. That will be 7 damage as the black blade of light slashes into his shoulder. Damn. This guy's not doing well. Oh, sorry. 8 damage, Jane. I forgot about my photon shoulder. Damn. This guy's not doing well. Oh sorry. 8 damage Jane. I forgot my photon bonus.

Boy. Yeah. This first hit. Really does some damage. And he. While you're asking him the questions. That seemed to make him really angry. And you hitting him.

Has now confused him. He doesn't know what's happening. Because people who talk like you usually don't hit as hard as you. And now it's their turn again. So it's going to be two attacks. So the first one is a 19 and the other one is

a 13. 19 hits, 13 does not. Okay. So you're going to take four points of damage as the dude who's just got the fucking sharpened metal chunk that is clearly just a piece of paneling that he's ripped off

and has spent some time sharpening one end of it. You can also tell that it's cutting into his own hands. There's blood pouring out of his hands, but he doesn't care. He just lodges it into the side of your arm and manages to slash you for four points.

Cool. I'm bleeding now. I'm down to my health. Okay. Alright. My go? Yep. Fantastic. So Merrick still a bit shaken, is a little bit worried. You know, he's surrounded, he's outnumbered. He's going to bring down his blade on the first guy here. That's only a nine.

That's not enough, as he puts his blades up into an x and catches your your solarium blade uh and he pushes it back well that's not gonna do it that's also not gonna well i guess i should ask uh i i'm guessing an 11 isn't gonna hit your kac okay so these guys both um with the guy with his blades up, he tries to take a swipe at you, but he's not in an advantageous position and he manages to spin you around just in time as the guy with the

sharpened axe. You get to see him and you are able to deflect his attack as well. Give me an attack roll or whatever you want to do. Yeah, it's going to be a little bit different this time since it's round number three. He's been channeling the photon energy. He's surrounded. He calls

on the power of the stars. I need all three to roll a reflex save. Okay. I know. It was a 14 DC? Yeah. Okay, so that guy rolled 14 on the dice. That's only a 10. So one of them fails. Oh, and 10 again.

So only one of them succeeds. And the one that succeeds will take half damage. As seven fire damage as a solar flare erupts from Merrick's body filling the hallway. Goddamn. Seven fire? Seven fire.

As you do that, the one guy with the two blades that you already landed a hit on just sort of erupts and like gets melted away as ashes of him just kind of like dissipate into the exhaust of the ship and now you've only got

two boys left and one of them is going to replace the one guy in so now it's still two on either side that's not going to do it. Also not going to do it. I think they're a little rattled after seeing one of their buddies just get absolutely

vaporized. Also seeing a man just emit a solar flare from his body. Yeah, I think they are now fighting recklessly and not trying to hit you. Or not aiming, they're just swinging out of panic.

Merrick will look at them and say, Why continue? You see what you're up against. What makes you so desperate? Flee, pathetic children, flee. As he swings down his blade for a 16 at the one who was behind him. Yep, that is it on the money.

And that's going to be 7 damage. You land another solid hit on the guy with the sharpened was behind him. Yep, that is it on the money. That's going to be seven damage. You land another solid hit on the guy with the sharpened panelaxe, and two more terrors come around the corner. Oh, fuck. And the door beside your cabin slides open, and a female Lushunta sort of leans casually against the doorframe, and she says,

Darlings, you should listen to him when he says flee. And she blows a kiss as this wave of purple psychic energy pumps out, and the two that you were fighting... Both fail. One got a two, one got a one. And they just drop their weapons and just haul ass and the two in the corridor you can see them they're currently just like sitting cross-legged playing with this illusory puppy creature as it just sort of like bounces around them. And Quiri, the female Lushinta, entertainer of the ship.

She's a tall, beautiful Lushinta. Her pale blue skin sort of accentuates these piercing purple eyes. She has this jet black hair that's tied up in a tight, high ponytail. She's wearing a metallic purple crop top and then has this pair of almost like engineer's leather overalls on top

she makes them look good but they're definitely meant for like dealing with like grounding yourself when dealing with electricity and then she's got these like crazy bracelets and trinket trinkets all up her arms yeah i mean like when she moves she sort of like jingles and jangles i do love the word trinket though though. Trinkets. That's awesome. And she smiles at you and looks at the pile of ash on the floor and she says, I will take care of these and you go help the captain, yes?

Thank you, Query. One of these days you will tell me how you know how to do that. Eh, probably not. Thank you. As Merrick heads down where Query just entered from. not. Thank you. As Merrick heads down where Query just entered from. Uh, okay. And, Cody. What? You are sitting in

the cockpit of the Maverick. Uh, it's not state-of-the-art, but it's serviceable and it's been, like, heavily modified from the original Ares design, mostly thanks to a combination of, like, the people who have piloted or the engineers of the ship over the years um there's a huge viewport and then smaller windows that kind of wrap around the

sides of the ship and then there is there's two chairs at the front for piloting and co-pilots slightly a couple feet back is an elevated captain's chair and then there are stairs that kind of lead down into a gunner's cockpit below the pilot section. What does Cody look like? Cody has like permanent, you know, say six o'clock shadow. He's got messy brown hair. He's got a long kind of like brown trench coat. He's got jeans and big boots. He's got studded fingerless leather gloves, blue eyes and a cheeky smile. And sitting beside you is a large sandstone brown vest.

He has this huge scar that runs from his left ear all the way down across his throat and over to the right side of his chest. He's wearing this red sort of like military formal jacket with these blue and gold epaulets. And you can tell that there's been another insignia on the jacket that has been ripped off and has been replaced with the the red and blue maverick insignia and he has

been teaching you despite being a mute the entire time that you've ever met him and as long as he's been on the maverick uh he's been teaching you how to fly the ship cool which is rudely interrupted the sounds of the cockpit door being kicked so hard that the slots or the slit in between the door dents and then a large metal blade gets shoved through and then it's

pried open and they just kind of go flying off and then this small stout terror comes bursting in with a what looks like a sharpened blade of what used to be a propeller on an like a vehicle of some sort that's pretty cool um and he also has a like a really crudely grafted cannon on his shoulder and as he like bursts in the cannon's just fucking firing and it's just like shattering displays and hitting, you know, comms. And he's just like destroying the cockpit.

Now, how does Satir react to all this? You see him point to a screen that says autopilot, like disengaged, like systems critical. And he sort of gives you the nod to deal with this because he cannot help cool i so cody stands up and starts walking slowly towards this cannon shooting asshole and you see him like pull a cigarette out of his like late bull pocket um like his breast pocket unlit put it in his mouth throw it on the ground and like grind, grind it out with his boot. And he says, I think it's time for you gentlemen to leave.

The terror looks around and says, I think it's time I impale you, cook you over an open fire, and eat you alive! And he's gonna go first as he takes a swing at you with this big old blade. Man, why can't I roll this well when I'm fucking playing games? Oh, no.

That's going to be a 22 to hit. Yeah, that'll do it. Your KAC. Okay. Ooh, that's five points of damage. Okay. And again, that's from my stamina, right? Your stamina, correct.

Cool. That hurt. It is your turn, though. Cody takes the smack right across the face and kind of, like, wipes the blood away and just says, pain don't hurt, and hits him back. Just one of his big, like, studded gloves

right to the face. Okay. Hopefully. Give me that attack roll. Okay. All right. That is going to be a 16. That's it on the money.

Hell yeah. So that's going to be seven points of damage as he just fucking like gets hit punches him right back or square across the jaw hell yeah you guys have now like sort of repositioned so that you're kind of away from the essential systems um and or now in in there's not a whole lot of space in here but at least you you're not, like, tangled up in all the, like, chairs and shit. And, like, when he punches, it's a big telegraph, like, movie punch that looks like it should be easy to dodge. But he moves faster than, like, a human does. So it always, like, it just caught him. Right.

You know? Like, it looks like it should be easy to avoid. He's going to try to shoot you with his little laser beam. Ooh, that's a 16 against your EAC. That'll do it. Okay. As his cannon shoots out a little laser for two points of damage. Okay.

They rolled very poorly. Actually, sorry. Two points of fire damage, if that means anything to you. I don't believe it does. Okay. And you know what? Cody's just pressing the attack, you know? He's gone with his big like haymaker almost now he's just gonna come in with like a big

left fucking uppercut oh that's not gonna do it eight no no that isn't as you go you just kind of you clip him on the chin and he doesn't even move he just sort of laughs and spits out a glob of blood and he says you're gonna taste real good tin man cody looks right back in his eyes just and says let's see me and you get nipple to nipple what wait what he roll an intimidate check please that's the most intimidating thing i've ever heard my god uh that is a three uh yeah i guess guess maybe he says it a little sensually. Yeah, he looks at you and he tears off the, like, fabric that he has in front of him. Or, like, he's got, like, just rags kind of hanging off him.

And he rips it off and he says, nipple to nipple. And he tries to hit you. This isn't how it went in the movies. Cody is confused. He's going to try to grab you, actually. Okay. In a bear hug to, in fact, get you nipple to nipple. And that would be a 19.

For a maneuver, I see. Yeah. No. So he goes for this big bear hug, and you're able to sort of duck under him. Yeah, like a boxer's weave underneath. Yeah, as he sort of like duck under him yeah like a boxer's like weave underneath yeah as he sort of stumbles forward um and you catch uh satir's eye uh in like one of the reflections of the the panels and he looks down at a console and he's pressing a button that says cabin stability and he turns it off okay um. And he then makes a small,

like rotating gesture with his finger and begins to buckle himself in. Is there anything I can grab onto? Yes. You're right by the captain's chair. Cody will not jump in the captain's chair purely because he feels like it's not allowed. Okay. That's fair enough. But you could still hold on to it. There's still also like a railing from where the

stairs go down to the gunner pit. Yeah, can I like athletics over to that? Yeah, absolutely. Do you want me to roll? Yes, it is athletics in this game, right? Alright, that's an 11 athletics. Yes, you are able to get over there and just in time for Satyr to just spin the fucking Maverick in this furious barrel roll.

And because he's destabilized the pressure of the thing, there's nothing sort of grounding you. And the terror just ends up sort of ping-ponging all over the fucking room uh and you hear this sort of like sickening thud and snap at which point satyr levels the the maverick out and the terror just kind of like hits the ground and satyr looks at you and just gives you a thumbs up i assume the thing is shredded right what is the terror he's fucked yeah you could probably guess that like his neck has been broken Cody looks at it and goes you disgust me you're a bleeder you bleed

too much and then looks at Satyr and just gives him two thumbs up Satyr shrugs and gets back and then he manages to pull up on one of the displays that isn't completely fucked by the gunfire of the the terrorist entrance um shows you both like a split screen

of a map of the maverick and a security camera of someone fighting a bunch of terrors in front of the engine room all right uh cody just sets off perfect so you guys sort of all get to the elevator that brings you down into the engine room's sort of like four chamber at the same time. Durin would have ran over back to his like where his bunk is. Okay. And pulled out this old dusty like just kind of long bag and put it over his shoulder before heading up and meeting up with them. Fantastic. So yeah, you guys all get there and Merrick's the first to arrive and he slides the doors open and you guys get into this sort of tube-like glass elevator. As you descend down through this glass elevator, you get a pretty good vantage point of the

battle happening below between probably like four or five different terrors and your captain, Victor Benson. And he's very easily holding his own, but his gun, you notice, sort of runs out of ammo and he looks at it dejectedly, spins it around, puts it in his leg holster. And as these terrors kind of circle around him, he holds his arms out straight and these two kunai drop into his, his hands from like his, his duster jacket. And he begins both like fighting with them almost like they're,

they're knives and daggers, like two handed. Um, but then every now and then he'll throw them and this cable that's attached to them will like snap them back to him as if he's got like these retractable throwing kunai. And every now and then he'll, he'll throw it with enough force that it'll get stuck.

And he triggers this orange pulse of energy that goes through the cable and into the kunai and electrocutes, whoever he's fighting to the point where he's just sort of like making very easy work of these terrors and three more come rushing out from some of the under lake uh passages and he runs and he throws his two kunai at the guys on the left and the right attaches onto them uses them to pull himself up into the air electrocutes them and then crosses his arms through the middle guy and just bisects him with the cables and as the elevator doors open and this man's torso slides off his legs you see your captain victor benson victor benson is my hero

yeah cody just says jesus i heard you had balls big enough to come in a drum dump truck but damn he is a human in his mid-50s uh he's got like shaggy brown hair almost like the kurt russell escape from la like swim swept mullet kind of look uh that's running around the temples the left side of his face has been pretty severely burnt so he has a cybernetic eye oh my god i knew he only had one real eye it's so good i knew it from this from the minute you started describing how he fought and then it was confirmed when you said the mullet thing i was about to ask how many eyes he had yeah i really wanted to give him an eye patch but i was like it's i can't i can't give

every character i've ever created an eye patch that is i forgot to mention cody has two eye patches um he's got enough wrinkles and scars on his face to tell the story that he's had a life of both adventure and hardship he's wearing this corded black turtleneck with a long dark blue duster and tactical gloves that much like cody's have spikes on the end of them oh i'm in love mean scene around here man yes he looks at you and he's like, is Junk Heap busted or what? Junk Heap is fine. I'm assuming we're talking about... Junk Heap? Who's Junk Heap? I'm assuming

Cody. Yes. Cody, as he realizes... Actually, can I understand what he's saying? Roll Sense Motive for me. I love that the captain says that and all the characters are like, what? I have a minus two Descent Motive, so I got a ten.

Ten is enough to know that he has a nickname for everyone on board. But do I know that's mine? Yes. Cody Wilts, when he hears it. I mean, he hasn't really interacted with you a lot, but you've heard him call Quip, Furball,

Vest, Scales. Sorry, Satyr, Scales. So you know that he's with you a lot but like you've heard him call quip furball uh vest scales or sorry satyr scales so like you know that like he's this is just a thing that he does okay i guess i'm not that new so i just kind of like blink merrick takes like his left his bottom left hand and just pats you on the back um he says you took your sweet ass time getting down here cody like raises his hands which are bloody just said had to fight a big one he looks around he says yeah i had to fight many what's the status well you would imagine that having a ship full of terrors would be bad enough but let's let me show you and he brings you over to the console at the front of the engine room and he types a little bit in and like everything's kind of fucked right now. Like everything has been busted in some way.

So on this cracked blurry screen, you can see the inside of the engine room and there are terrors inside. But more importantly, there is a giant warhead that is currently sitting in the engine room right beside the Ares reactor. Is that one of ours?

New feature, Captain? Yeah, the kind that blows us to all hell. Alright. Now, let me state the Ares reactors are famously resilient. They are tough as hell. It is almost impossible to destroy them with

weapons. But that and their, regardless of the state of the reactor, would level a small colony. So, regardless of what it does to the reactor, it will blow this ship up three times over. But the reactor would be safe afterwards.

Good to know. I feel like you're focusing on the wrong things here. Seems like a target-rich environment. I know, you like Cox's Gul wrong things here Seems like a target rich environment I know you like Cox's Gulch Gun He smiles and he says Well you have that right Junk Heap So here's the plan

We're gonna go in I will distract the terrors in there And you lot are gonna go in and Disarm and or dispose of that bomb So that it is no longer a threat To my ship do you understand Yes Captain Now dispose of that bomb so that it is no longer a threat to my ship. Do you understand? Yes, Captain. Yes, Captain.

Now, I know I don't need to remind you two, but Junk Heap, we have a saying aboard this ship. Gentlemen, what is that saying? Don't be a hero. Correct. Do you understand, Junk Heap? All you have to do is watch my back, I'll watch yours, and we'll take

out the trash. He nods and he says all right y'all ready cody repeats the exact same sentence durian puts down his like his little bag opens it up and just pulls out this big fuck off gun and just like puts it on his shoulder he's like yeah i'm ready all right let's go and he slams the the sort of like release button and the doors slide open into this giant white domed room uh it's a big circular room it is completely antithesis to the rest of the ship while most of the ship is sort of like this blue and and crimson and metal and like gunmetal black. This room, you can tell, has been untouched and is pristine. It is white, like to the point of like you kind of have to shield your eyes.

In the center is this large white column that has like this pulsing blue light that occasionally will shoot off into these four tubes that branch out of the top quarter of it into the ceiling there is a large circular uh central platform around it and then four walkways and kind of the cardinal directions either side and then an outer walkway along the side that kind of gives you access to diagnostic panels and control panels and a lift that will that can take you up to the roof for repairs and stuff like that. Yeah. Where's the warhead like up on that walkway or. So it's on the walkway. So you are on the same level as the walkway. And then underneath you is just sort of like this domed like bottom. It's just like a big sphere, essentially. But you're on the walkway right now. And yes, the warhead is essentially just placed in front of the reactor tube

that's in the middle in the central platform. I'm assuming, Dern, you might have an idea of how to disarm it. Get me close enough and I can take care of it. All right, let's go. And Victor runs forward towards the central platform in the middle and he says, I'll keep them busy. You circle around the outside and get the warhead from behind. Understand? Yes, Captain. Yes, Captain. And once again, he drops the kunai into his hand, and he says,

then let's do this. And he just throws one, just gets one right in the throat, right off the bat, and just starts going to town. Give me, all of you guys, stealth checks, please. Uh-oh. I got a 13. Why not? Because I have a 0. I got an 8. Okay.

17. Okay. I figured this is how this is going to go. So one of them manages to spot all of you. He's very interested in fighting the captain. He doesn't really give a shit about you guys, but he does throw

a grenade over your way just in the hopes of slowing you down. So you're all going to have to give me reflex saves, please. Well, okay, alright. And as a reaction, old Victor Benson is going to yell

WATCH OUT! And you guys is going to yell, watch out! And you guys are going to get plus two to these saves. Cool. I like that. I got a natural 20 plus reflex and the bonus two is 23 all day. Did you say natural 20? Natural 20, yeah. Oh yeah, perfect. You automatically succeed. I got a 16 with all in.

Okay. And I got an 18 with all those bonuses. Okay, perfect. Then you guys are only going to take three points of damage. Except for... No, you all do. Unless you have evasion for some reason. If that's a thing. Yeah, I'll do that.

Alright, then everyone takes three. Quick question. My stamina is gone. Should that have come back in between? No. Okay, cool. Yeah, we're getting in rough shape here. Yeah.

Yeah, that's... This is... Okay. Can I use the resolve point to get my stamina back isn't that a thing takes 10 minutes 10 minutes oh shit all right never mind how long was that elevator ride the slowest elevator ever just yes we need to get that elevator fixed it takes 10 minutes so yes they just one of them just throws a fucking grenade at you as you are running, but they haven't stopped to.

They are very engaged in how well the captain is fighting them, and it makes no sense for them to turn their back on them. So you guys managed to get to the warhead. What would you like to do? Do we know what disarming one involves? Out of game? What skill?

I assume it's computers or engineering? So, computers and engineering will give you stuff, and perception checks will also give you stuff. I'll stand guard. You both have a look. I'll stand guard. You two have a look. Alright. I will say, these are, like, you sussing

out the situation. So, like, until you guys say that you're going to actively attempt to disarm the bomb, you guys can all roll without penalty. Like, nothing bad will happen. Like, I'm not going to be like, like, until you guys say that you're going to actively attempt to disarm the bomb, you guys can all roll without penalty. Like, nothing bad will happen. Like, I'm not going to be like, oh, you're doing an engineering check? Oops, you set off the bomb! Alright, Dane! I'm going to disarm the bomb,

then your checks will have consequence. Alright, listeners, hold on to that, okay? Yeah, please. Cody's going to do a 10 computer check on the bomb. On the warhead. Okay. And I will... Oh, go ahead.

Nope. Everyone tell me what you've rolled and what you're rolling. I rolled a 4 perception. I rolled a 24 engineering. Okay. I'll start with Merrick. This is a bomb. You've seen them before.

This is a particularly big one. Merrick starts, like, sketching a picture of it in his journal. Yeah, I feel like you're so distracted making sure you get all the right details that you aren't even looking specifically for them. Cody, you got a 10 computers? Mm-hmm. Okay.

With that, you can tell that the internal circuitry for this, the way that you would arm this uh seems to be missing you can't seem to figure out where the the like electronical components are on this bomb and with your engineering check durin yeah you can tell that this bomb has been opened and reassembled. And that for a warhead of this caliber is absolute insanity. But judging by, you know, with the fact that it's under terror control, it kind of makes sense that we do something this fucking stupid. But you can see that there is like, it has been almost partitioned in such a way. So it's probably like bad, but now that it's like been fucked with so much,

it's probably way worse than really temperamental. I'm going to need you guys all to give me another perception check. Yes. How's a seven looking? How about a 17? Okay. Coming up with a 15. Okay.

Durin and Merrick, you both notice, or rather you both hear muffled giggling coming from within the bomb. As you hear from inside, someone yell, Kaboom! As a man stands up in his full strength, wearing gauntlets that are a quarter of a bombshell

and knee guards that are the other quarters and the top of the warhead is his helmet. Now, dang. Is he getting up from prone? Do I get an attack of opportunity? You don't because you failed your perception check. Although, thankfully these boys noticed and he doesn't

get the surprise round on you. That is so funny. Holy shit. And he yells, Boomer gonna kaboom! Everyone roll for initiative. Hello, friends. It's your Space GM Dane here.

I'm just doing a quick break to do a little bit of housekeeping stuff. First and foremost, thank you very much for checking out our first episode. It means the world to us. We're super excited and proud to share this with everyone. And we really, really hope you're enjoying it. Which brings me to my next point. If you are enjoying it, we are a new show.

We're a young baby podcast, you know, finding its way in the world. We could really use your help with uh reviews and ratings if you're listening to this on apple podcast leaving a five-star rating and a review is a great way to help us out also spotify just introduced their rating program so hitting us with a five-star there would mean the world to us if you're using another podcatcher that has a rating system a rating on that would also be incredible. On top of that, if you'd like to reach out and let us know what you thought, we would love to hear from you. If you want to share your thoughts, your theories, fan art, if you've been

inspired to do so, reach out to us on either Twitter or Instagram at NoQuestCast. You can also use the hashtag, hashtag NoQuestCast, and we will be able to find you and we will try to respond to everyone and get back to everyone we want to see what you think we want to hear what you are feeling we want to see what you're making we can't wait to engage with you guys so uh don't hesitate in in giving us a shout we would love to hear from you i think that's all the business so we're gonna get right back into the episode uh once again i hope you're enjoying it and we've got a lot more shows. Episode 2 is already out.

If you are enjoying this and you want to just binge a bunch of it, there's a second episode waiting for you. Let me tell you, it gets a little crazy. That's all I've got to say. Enjoy the rest of the show. Is the monkey from... What's that show door explorer she is it boomer no you mean boots boots damn it i like the idea of during the explorer the exploding monkey yeah i was wondering as i said it why it was called that damn it hey dora let's blow up that swiper, motherfucker. Boom.

I'm thinking of the Dark remake when they made the live action. Yeah. I can't get this image out of my head, Dan. I love it so much. And as he stands up, he has, I mean, terrifyingly enough, he has four smaller bombs or, like, grenades implanted into his chest. Um, and he then also has, again,

this big tank of this green liquid liquid feeding into various parts of his body. How in the world do we stop with some blowing up? Uh, what is your initiative boys? I have a 15 again. Okay. What's your decks? My decks is plus two.

Uh, what's the, Oh no, nevermind. That's good. Yeah. Merrick rolled a 10. Okay, what's your dex? My dex is plus 2. Uh, what's the... Oh, no, never mind. That's good. Merrick? Merrick. Yeah, Merrick rolled 10. Okay, and Dern? Uh, when I'm paying for those high rolls earlier, uh, 9. Well, good news. Cody, you go first.

Hell yeah. Before you do, please roll a d100. I don't like that. Well, you might. might okay let me know if you get an 80 to 100 uh i got a 26 okay nothing happens the bomb goes off so we start a new campaign next week guys it is your turn cody what would you like to do um okay let me let me see how this works i'm going to try to restrain this boy um with a restraining spinneret okay so if i succeed melee attack against their eac uh they become entangled it's basically like the spider-man

like like you like spray webbing on them and like tangle them up but i want to i want to play it like he just like bouncering like grabs them by the arm and like cable ties them okay if that's cool yeah okay that's that's a bag of shit never mind what did you how does an old seven do you? I get AC. Not going to be enough. As you kind of like throw these bola kind of style things at him, they just kind of bounce off his, his like big arms.

Cause there's like really nothing to like, there's just so wide because of his gauntlets that you're, you just wouldn't be able to get around them. It is now boomers turn. I just say, oops. And you know what? that you just wouldn't be able to get around him. It is now Boomer's turn. I just say, oops. And you know what? He's going to look at you, Cody,

and he's going to attempt to grab you. Nope, that won't do it unless your grapple maneuver is nine. Definitely not. So he lurches forward and just like brings out both hands and he says, Boomer, and tries to grab you but you managed to like just get right underneath him so like when i tried to do it i was trying to like manipulate

his arm so i could cable tie them so i guess like that failed then he tried to get me so we're just like going at it yes you guys are both just kind of like trying to grab each other and he's just not working um it is victor b Benson's turn and he's going to use Quick Inspiring Boost and everyone regains 15 stamina points. Wow. 15? Like 15. Yep.

As he yells, focus up. He's big, but he ain't invincible. I might be now. I like Captain a lot. Damn. It is now Merrick's turn. Boomer, listen to me. I need you to come and sit down with me

and tell me why the hell you stepped inside Warhead and wore it like a suit. I'm so, so curious as he swings his black blade of light at Boomer's neck. Okay, okay. He's messaged us here.

I was going to give you a diplomacy check, but if you're going to attack his neck, then I won't. That's a nine. No, he manages to get one of his, like, you know, shelled arms up and just completely deflects the blow. Please, Boomer, please. Durin, it's your turn. Alright.

I look at Merrick, I'm just like, does that ever work? Sometimes it does. And I'm gonna scurry away to get some distance from this boy. Okay. And probably, like, stealth up a little bit, trying to find, like, a spot where maybe, like, a little alcove that he might not be looking at?

It would be hard to do that here because this is a big, open round room. I'll just use my actions to get some distance and then start beating a shot on him with my rifle. Cody?

I'm just going to punch him then because I don't know if I can use that thing again. Okay, that's far better. How's just going to punch him then, because I don't know if I can use that thing again. Okay, that's far better. How's an old 21 looking? That'll do it. All right. That's going to be five points of damage, as he just, like, in the middle of, like, grappling, I guess. He, like, kind of comes out on top and just, like, elbows him down on the back of the neck.

Nice. It is his turn. As you sort of clock him in the back of the neck, he turns around to you with these big eyes and he's like, You hit Boomer? Cody's like, Yes. Boomer,

it's you then! And then he's going to try to grab you again. God damn it. No, he doesn't. he sort of just like wildly swings at you uh out of anger he just completely misses his grab i'm really worried that he's just gonna grab me and ignite those grenades and i know from dane's laugh that's exactly what's gonna happen benton is now going to use his turn uh as keeps fighting, he's going to yell over and says, would you three quit fucking around and hit him? And for the next round, uh, until his turn, you're going to get plus two to attack and damage.

Oh, wait, what was the bonus for last round? Nothing. You just got the stamina. Oh, sorry. Yeah, that was awesome. Plus two to attack and damage. Hell yeah. Yeah.

Until his next round. Is he one of those. Is he one of those bards? Like Starfinder? He's an odd boy. That's real cool. Merrick, it's your turn. Alright, Boomer. If we can't sit down and talk, let's do it while we stand. When did your mother

leave you? And he attacks. He goes for his chest. Not avoiding the bombs. Did you say not avoiding the bombs? No, I, not avoiding the bombs. Did you say not avoiding the bombs? No, I am definitely avoiding the bombs. Oh, okay, okay. That's a 18 with all the bonuses. That is it on the money.

Sick. As, obviously, Merrick's body has that little bit of red light from channeling the photon energy. That's nine damage. Is that with the plus two? Yeah. Perfect. Okay. How about your father? What happened to him? When did he die? Boomer says,

when Boomer was just a small bang. Oh no. It's your turn. Okay. I think I'm going to use my trick attack if I can. Sure. Yeah, so I'm probably going to start, use my run, and then I'm just going to duck down quickly and use my, I guess, stealth roll to try to add some extra damage to this hit.

Yeah. All right. Can you remind me, do you have the ability open? Yeah. What the DC is? this hit yeah all right can you remind me do you have the the ability open yeah what the dc is um it is 20 plus the cr okay and my stealth is a 31 yeah you do it okay and now let's see if we can hit this boy as i get a beat on him dip down line up the rifle. It's almost like riding a bike. A unnatural 20. Yep, that'll do it. So roll your damage with your trick attack and plus two.

Nine points of damage. Where are you aiming on him? I think the old practices would be one shot, one kill, just aiming for the head. It's a reflex almost. Okay, yeah. As you do that, you don't quite hit him in the head, because he does have this, like, giant

warhead casing on, but you do clip him in the side of the neck, and it just, it takes a good chunk out of the side of him, and you can just see this sort of, like, this pool of blood now just coursing out of the side of his neck. Cody, it is your turn. Cody says,

Little Bang, you were born an asshole and just grew bigger. Ooh, okay. That's going to be a 22 to hit. He looks at you and he says, I'm just a product of my environment. Merrick's taking notes very aggressively. Yes, you hit him.

That's eight points of fist damage as I just like, I guess as he looks at me, I just fucking like cross right through his face. He stumbles backwards a bit with this solid hit and now he's just sort of like clutching the side of his neck trying to keep the blood in. He's gonna make one final

attempt to grab before he gives up on this. Ooh, that's not bad. This is coming for you, Cody. That is a 28. Well, yeah. Alright, he grabs you into a big bear hug and whispers into your ear and he says

Kaboom! Cody whispers back, let's get nipple to nipple. As he detonates one of the bombs in his chest. Four. Nine points of damage. I assume there's no reflex save, considering I'm held in place.

That is correct. He does, however, also take half of that. That's good. When we got the stamina points, that did nothing to our health, right? Correct. Oh shit! Actually, Cody, give me a d100 roll. Okay.

I'm gonna do this on your turn. I think 7? 0-0? Yeah. Yeah. Just 7. Merrick and Durin, also give me a d100 roll. 14.

Where is my d100? I can roll a 4 if you want. Yes, please. I actually, I have my dice bag and not a single D100 in there. Uh, that's a 95, Terry. There you go, I got a 95. Alright, as you hear over the intercom

Quip yell, hands up, special delivery, as a series of drones all come in through the vents and begin pestering Boomer. And he's going to have minus two to his attack rolls. Sick. I like that. That's nice.

And it is Merrick's turn. Boomer, who convinced you to throw your life away to wear a silly bomb costume? This seems to cut deep, because he thinks the only redeeming factor about him is his cool bomb costume. This seems to cut deep, because he thinks the only redeeming factor about him is his cool bomb costume. Um, I wish we had more time together, Boomer, but this facade must end as Merrick swings for the cut on his neck.

For... for 16. Is that with a plus 2? Oh, 18 with a plus 2. Uh, that is it. Sick! For 9 more damage as this black flash of light flies through the air. He stumbles down to

one knee as you just sort of drive this sort of wound on his neck a little deeper, but he manages to get one of his hands on your shoulder and he just says, I'm gonna blow you to hell. And

it is Durin's turn. Take the shot. Taking the shot. I only have one shot left. And I lean in, look through the sights, taking a note from Cody, because I think he hangs out. I was like, get off my plane. Cody fucking

loves it. No! Natural one. Fuck. Merrick. Give me an even or odd. Let's take an odd. Does he have to roll to confirm?

The odds are in our favor. Odds, you said? Yeah. All right. Give me a D20 roll D20 roll? For Durin, sorry Oh, Durin

And if it's odd, then you hit Merrick I'm waiting for someone to roll the D100 for me No, you roll, sorry, you're rolling a D20 Oh, D20, you got it, sorry A five That's an odd That's an odd, you're going to hit Merrick. It's only going to be half damage of whatever you roll.

And you didn't do trick attack, so... No, I sure didn't. Don't forget your plus two. Yeah, I add my plus two to that, too. Oh, fuck. I feel like maybe Cody gets so hype about your line that he turned around and nudged Merrick in the way of your bullet.

So with the plus two, it's eight damage. Okay, so you're only going to take four. Cody, it is your turn. Cody's going to try to do a perception check on the bombs to see if there's maybe anything he could do about that because he didn't like the

last thing that Boomer said. That's a nine. Yeah, Cody's going to punch him. Cody's going to miss him. That's a fucking eight to hit. Nope, not going to do it. It is Boomer's turn and he's going to try to pull you in, Merrick. That's an 18.

Against Maneuver? KAC, yeah That's an 18. Against Maneuver? KC, yeah. Yes, you're Maneuver. I'm not going to do it. Okay. It is Benson's turn and I think he's just going to keep inspiring you guys with the plus two.

Cool. And Merrick, it's your turn as Boomer has one hand on you and he you could tell he's trying to pull you in close with the last little bit of strength that he has now has captain daddy's um encouragement gotten better has he like hey good job guys you're doing quite a good job apart from you guys have have disappointed him the last of rounds. We got some solid hits, Captain Daddy. Sorry, the last round. Because you missed and Durin did shoot Merrick.

That's fair. I still blame Cody on that one. I won't fail you, Captain. Hey, I gave you some cool flavor. It was all your fault. You shut your mouth. Merrick, what are you doing? I'm swinging one more time with my, with my solarium blade,

a 16. I don't think it's going to do it. Is that with your plus two? Yeah. Uh, no, it is not going to do it. During,

um, unfortunately I have to spend this round reloading. Hmm. Okay. Like two rounds in this bad boy. It hits hard, but it's only two rounds. Cody,

uh, punch time, I guess. Okay. Oh, what do you crit on? Is it just 20s? I guess it depends on your weapon, but usually, yes. Yeah, I think it's just 19.

So 25. Yes, he's going to use his bombshell ability as a reaction, though. And this allows him on a successful attack to fold his arm up and negate the attack i don't like that i don't like that at all i was doing a cool punch i know now i have to see how many times he can do that oh well probably not ever again he's going to again try to grab god damn it no he really wants to blow you up he he does not do it. It's a 10. I guess Cody just does a big, perfect, beautiful punch, and he manages to deflect it incredibly, but is off Ilter. He puts his other arm on Merrick just in time to put that shell up and block you,

and he's just really trying to pull Merrick in, but just can't do it. It is your turn, Merrick. Boomer, we have to stop this game. As I roll, hell yeah, 19. That'll do it. It is your turn, Merrick. Boomer, we have to stop this game. As I roll... Hell yeah. 19. That'll do it. Oh, thank god. For 11 damage. Ooh.

God damn. That's spicy. Merrick, how do you kill Boomer? Merrick looks a little sad because he believes Boomer is such an interesting individual, but he has a nuke strapped to his chest. So, like felling a great oak tree, he aims for the part of his neck that was hit earlier

and goes for the full decapitation as the flash of black light cuts across his neck. And you do that as you just completely take boomer's head off and it rolls down and off the walkway and it's now just kind of like half piping in the bottom of round area as it just slowly like loses momentum and just settles in the bottom and benson finishes off with the last terror and you can see he's like he's taking some pretty decent hits as well and he spits out a glob of blood and he just says well aside from shooting yourselves you did all right now what i like is that a great a great oak tree is probably the best thing boomer's ever been

called in his life and that's a fitting elegy don't don't disrespect boomer probably had a rough childhood all right no i'm saying that's quite a nice thing to call someone it probably is he probably was very very vindicated when you called him that I really connected with the guy Cody puts an arm on or a hand on Merrick's shoulder and is like

maybe if you didn't stab him between questions he'd answer you and like kind of walks away Merrick just stares over the ceiling the alarm in the Maverick subsides. And for a brief moment, you have silence and calm until another alarm goes off. Oh, great.

And a voice comes on over the intercom and says, collision detected. Auto navigation systems are offline. Collision detected. And that begins are offline. Collision detected. And that begins looping. I look to the captain. I look at Cody. And he just begins running for

the cockpit. I run after the captain, and I'm very fucking fast. I am as well. That's true, you guys both are very fast. Wait, how fast are you guys? I run at six times my movements. Oh, true, yeah. both are very fast Wait, how fast are you guys? I run at six times Oh, true, yeah My land speed is like 40 feet without armor

Wait, how How about a little rat that goes slower than everyone? Because you're little Yeah, you got little legs I got robot legs, and I can only assume Ryan charges like an animal With both arms and legs Like this crazy spider?

I'm a Jedi, sir. Gravity is on my side. In my head, it's a spider movement. It's terrifying. I hate that. Are you guys all going to the cockpit? Yeah, I am. Should we decide? Are we sure that Boomer's body is not going to go off?

You can tell. There was never a real threat. He had small grenades in him, but the warhead was him. Okay. I guess we're all going to the cockpit. If they're all going to the cockpit, I think I'm just

going to do an engineering diagnostics and stay behind. Are you doing it in the engine room? Yeah, since I'm there and they're like, I figure whatever's happening in the cockpit, they got taken care of for now. Can we resurrect Boomer because he's the best? We're going to serve his body.

You guys can't fall in love with the first boss I throw at you. Well, it's too late. You arrive into the cockpit and the scene is not good. Another terror had gotten into the cockpit and the scene is not good. Another terror had gotten into the cockpit and has impaled Satir with that sort of propeller blade the other guy had through his right shoulder. And he's now pinned to the wall. Cody runs up to him and puts a hand on his shoulder and says, Alright, amigo, you're all fucked up, aren't you? But in his kindest voice.

Yes. Uh, Satir gives you a, a very like labored smile. And then he points at you. He points at the eye and then he points at the guy on the ground. Who's missing his bottom jaw. As if to say,

you should see the other guy. Uh, I hand him my only potion. You could, so query is already there and already there, and Victor is there as well. Query is tending to his wounds. It's not life-threatening right now. It's probably going to get worse when they remove him from the wall. That's fair.

But right now, as you look, you are flying directly into an asteroid field. And the alarm just keeps being like you know auto navigation systems are offline collision detected i feel the need the need for speed and cody like looks at the captain he he doesn't really know you and he looks at you and he says you can fly this damn thing i'm the best hotshot pilot you've ever seen. And he jumps in the thing. But then instead of flying, kind of like looks back for permission, undercutting the whole moment.

Victor looks at Satir and Satir gives like, again, a very like labored nod, yes. And Victor looks at you and he says, if anything happens to this goddamn ship, I will come back and haunt you for the rest of your damn life if we all don't die. And then he looks at Satyr and he says, count to three and just pulls him off. Oof. As what you would imagine would be a grotesque scream

if Satyr ever made noise and him and Query drag him to the medbay. Alright, can I fly this thing? Do you have ranks in pilot? Oh, you know I do. Well then, Cody Mothers, sorry Goose, but it's time to buzz the tower. And that's gonna be

a 13. Okay, and Merrick, you're in the cabin with, right? I am, yeah. Perfect. So, nothing too crazy is happening right now, but you do manage to, with a 13, you're able to sort of like get your, your bearings. You managed to level the ship out and you managed to like course correct so that you're not directly flying into an asteroid. But you are, there's no way around this.

You're in it. And Merrick, give me, or both of you guys give me perception checks. Well, it're in it. And Merrick, both of you guys give me perception checks. Well, it's a 6. It's a 12. Cool. You don't notice as two terror ships that were latched onto the backs of an

asteroid, as you sail past it, they detach and swoop around behind you and open fire on you. And so the way this works is we're not going to do proper ship combat as per Starfinder rules. We're just going to do some checks

and see what happens. Now, is that an ever thing or a right now? No, just a right now thing. Cool. There you go, looking up the engineering rules. Well, don't worry about that. Like I said, we're not doing the phases of Starfinder combat the way that it's meant to be done. there you go looking up the uh engineering rule rules well don't worry about that like i said we're not we're not doing like the the phases of starfinder combat the way that it's it's meant to be done we will do that later on but right now this is just more of a a thing that's gonna happen

in terms of like you know i'm just gonna ask you for checks uh and that being said i'm gonna need a pilot check from you mr c. Cody. Alright, that's an 18. Perfect. So you managed to position yourself out of their line of fire. They had a pretty good fucking beat on you because you had no idea they were there, but now you are taking evasive maneuvers and

are sort of weaving in and out of asteroids enough to make sure they don't get a direct line of fire. Merrick, give me another perception check. Nothing but barrel rolls. 16. 16 is enough to notice that the gun is operational, but the targeting systems need to be repaired.

So if you had someone who could do an engineering role, you would be able to get the guns active in order to be repaired. So if you had someone who could do an engineering role, you would be able to get the guns active in order to defend yourselves. I'm going to send a quick communication to our friend, uh, Durin. Uh, Durin. Uh, hey, Durin. Yeah, mate. Yeah. Our guns are down. Uh, can I get them back up here,

Dan? Uh, no, you'd have to be in the cockpit. Alright, I'm on my way. We have bogeys on our six. What's a bo- what's a bogey? That's what Cody calls bad guys. Give me another piloting check, please, Cody. Okay, it's even better. It's a 19.

Hell yeah. Now I'm going to give you an option. With a 19, you have the options to try to reposition into an offensive position or continue to take defensive maneuvers and attempt to lose them um knowing that the guns are down it's going to be defensive maneuvers and lose them for for right now okay um so you're gonna have two options one you're gonna have the option to just

sort of like punch it and try to fly around or there are currently two asteroids that are spinning towards one another you can try to thread the needle and go for those. Asteroid time. Thread the needle. Yeah, it's asteroid time. Let's do that. I will say this is a harder check. I figured.

Now, are we getting any captain bonuses? No, he's not here. No, he's dealing with Satyr. Okay. Well. Can I aid? Yes. Give me a perception check.

All right. Can I aid? Yes, give me a perception check in an effort to sort of help gauge the distance and stuff like that. Yeah, that's going to be just a 10. Perfect, that's all you needed. Oh, thank god. So you're going to get a plus 2 to this roll. Okay.

That's a 21. Is that with a plus 2? Yes. You just made it. It was a DC 20. Damn. Okay. But you managed to just pull the ship, the Maverick, completely sideways as you completely thread the needle here as the two asteroids smash behind.

And you hear one of the ships hit it and explode behind you. But you manage to see another one crest over it. I turn to Merrick and I say, Iceman, you can be my wingman anytime. You taught me what to say here, but I can't remember. I think that's the best

response. Something danger zone? He gets that particular tone when he's quoting. He's in quote mode, and you hear it in there. Darren, I'm going to say you get there. The chip isn't big, so I will give you an opportunity. Merrick, you can let me know if there's something you

want to do, but right now, an engineering check is the only way to get the guns online, but if you think of something crazy you want to do, Merrick, you just let me know. I will. Keep that in mind. Go ahead. Roll that engineering. Yeah, I'm just going to be like, point me to the guns and just wherever he points, just start going to work. Yeah, there's a console that's kind of

like, it still has a display, but it's sparking. Yeah, I just like go under, bust out wires, start pouring out and just start going through it. A20, unnatural. That's incredible. Roll a D4 for me, please. A 3.

Okay, for 3 rounds, the guns are operational. Get to work, Merrick. You're probably better at guns than I am, but alright. No. No. Merrick jumps on the guns. Alright, give me an attack roll. Dexterity based, assume yes natural 20 oh okay well oh is that our first crit for you guys yeah yeah as the ship crests over and

durin manages to he's just like biting wires in half and like reconnecting them and like just just furiously rewiring this whole uh gunnery system uh you slide down the banister into the gunner seat and just completely 180 it as this terror ship comes over and crests the asteroid and uh just light it the fuck up and you manage to clip it exactly where it needs to be hit as the whole back half of it explodes and the the front half begins just like spiraling furiously as it crashes into another asteroid and you guys have successfully cleared the terror ambush hell yeah Cody just is like, nice shooting. Nice wire work. I am one with the stars. Just a little rat thumb

comes up over the console. Cody pulls another unlit cigarette and puts it in his mouth and kicks back in the pilot seat and is like, it was a good day. Nobody died. Well, Boomer died. There's at least two corpses in the fucking room. do i need to remind you

about boomer oh boomer cody kind of like bows his head and he's like like crunch crumples his like cigarette in his hands like yeah yeah boomer yeah well during times the darkness finds even the good he goes over and he he puts a hand on Durn's shoulder and he reaches down and pulls Merrick up and puts an arm around both of them and is like, we'll never forget Boomer. And we have a big group hug. Don't make me feel bad for putting

bosses in here, guys. We're gonna fall in love with every single one of them. I start to cigarette burn Boomer into my arm the alarm finally subsists and for this time it is for good or at least you know for now for good we we've done the whole campaign you did it once we stay in this ship we'll be safe yeah good game good game guys no the alarm i'll just throw things at you that don't set the alarm off as you sort of clear this asteroid field and it's more of like a belt and

there's a clearing in the middle of it and you sort of calmly, you know, float your way through the rest of the field now that you're not being chased and there's no real pressure. You arrive at the beacon that you were sent to investigate. And Benson comes into the cockpit and he says, Satir's stable. He's in rough shape, but once we get back to the cube,

we'll be able to sort him out. This, however, requires our attention. And it's a grisly scene. You see a tavern, and the tavern you were sent to investigate the SOS beacon has been completely destroyed. And it was

the Nightcrawler. And there's a wreckage of at least another terror ship in here as well. And it's just been like they've both been decimated and they're just kind of floating there. Should we send a comms message to see if there's any survivors? Oh, it is clear there is no way anyone has survived.

Like there is no intact part that could house anyone. Captain, we may need medical assistance. And like a part of like Cody's like skin face just like slops off. Are you talking about yourselves? Yeah. He looks at you and says, tell you what, take a quick breather. I'll have Query send over

some aid and then we can discuss our next plan of action. And I will let you guys take a short rest, which will allow you to refill your stamina points. Query will be around and she tends to your wounds. So you guys will be back to refill your stamina points okay and uh query will be around and she she tends to your wounds so you guys will be back to health okay cool go go go at the cost of a resolve point at the cost of a result point correct oh at the color okay you guys have sort of all rendezvoused

or at least like the crew um query is still tending to sat. Quip is furiously doing everything he can to patch some of the major damage. So it really is just you and, and Benson in the cockpit. Um, and you guys are looking at this, this scene and he says, this is what the guild sent us out to look at. We had a tavern SOS from the night crawler. So we, you know, we look after our own our own, but I guess we were too late. Are taverns usually attacked like this? It takes a special kind of idiot to attack a tavern, and the fact that there are terrorists here, and this is obviously an ambush point for them, they're the special kind of idiot now we do have the issue of how

they got onto our goddamn ship and he looks at you cody for a second and he says we ain't never had a problem with terrors until we drags you out of a damn storage bin i've never had a problem with terrors that i can remember i only met my first one today that I can remember. What I'm asking you, John keep is you have anything to do with this that I can remember? No, my memory files are corrupted, but I don't.

He's fine. Captain. I don't think so. And like, you can see Cody kind of like spiraling and my memory files are corrupted, but I don't think so. My, my memory files are corrupted. All right don't think so. My memory files are corrupted.

All right, Junk Heap. Cody, be confident. He kind of like blinks and looks up. Captain, when has tears ever been predictable? That's enough for Benson. The way you fought and the fact that you threw yourself in defense of Satir earlier

is enough for him to... He just needed to ask. Meanwhile, Cody's handing over his gun sheepishly. He's like, keep it, you'll need it. Look, during the raid and the attack, Oliver avoids suits for damage, so

unfortunately, Junk Heap, you're the only one who can go up into the vacuum safely. Cody nods. What do you want me to do? We need you to poke around in there, see if there's any evidence of what the hell happened, if there's any important documents, files, anything that he might have had that we can bring back to the guild

that might shed a little bit of light as to what the hell happened here. I'm so not perceptive. This is going to be garbage. Captain, do you really want him to go alone? Well, how good are you holding your breath? Not good enough. Exactly.

Unfortunately, he's the only one who can exist out in the vacuum for as long as we need to be there. So he's the one that goes. Cody starts walking towards the airlock. He hands you a small kit and a head-mounted camera. And it is sort of like a field kit, essentially. It's got

a couple different tools, a couple different scanners, a couple different sample vials, bags, stuff like that. Before you guys head out, make an engineering check or a perception check. Who? Everyone. Sure.

Just a 14 engineering. Not my best roll. 11 perception. 3 perception. Okay. From here, you guys aren't able to discern much of anything. Do I know if analog weapons work

in a vacuum? I believe they don't. I would imagine no, because fire wouldn't be able to shoot out of, in the void, because there's no oxygen, right? I believe only energy weapons work. Yeah, I don't know the specific rules, but logically it makes no sense that fire could exist out there. Merrick offers you his

laser pistol. Cody, like, spins it around his finger like a Wild West shooter and like, nods and hands you his gulch gun. Just goes off several times. I don't think there's a sleight of hand, so you're lucky. I can roll acrobatics if you want.

Athletics. Before he goes, can we do just a life, like a life scan? Yeah, yeah, of course. Just like scan for life just in case. Because we don't want to send him out there and him like run into someone that may or may not be a life sure yeah um you activate the the scans i'm gonna uh give me a engineering check uh 19 yeah that's enough to get the the you know life scans up and No, nothing gets picked up here.

It is devoid of life. Should just be you flying solo, Cody. Before you leave, Merrick says, I don't do this often, but he takes you close and he does a little bit of an old-school Kasathian prayer for your safety and sends

you on your way. Cody looks very touched and he looks around the room and says with wingman like these I'm not alone. And then he just like walks backwards out the door. And yeah, they release the airlock and you drift off into the void of space as

you're connected to the tether. And you're able to sort of like, you've got little like thrusters to direct your travel as you make your way over to the wreckage. You do have, there's like a feed of what you're looking at and seeing in the ship

so they're able to also, if you want to roll checks or anything, you guys will be able to, even though you're not there. Well, that's good. Do you read us, Cody? Do you read us? I have not been given any literature. He brings up a good point. That's true. So, as you

float out there, you come across the wreckage of the Nightcrawler and a Terror Ship. Give me a Perception check. And you guys can all do a Perception check as well. Ooh, that's a 15. Look at me. Okay. That's a that's a 15 look at me okay that's a 12 well 15 is enough

to give you some information um once you're out here now that you're looking around and getting a bit more of a closer look you can tell that there are multiple ships here uh at least four of them um so it's not just one tavern and one terror ship um with a 15 you can also tell that there's more than one tavern here. You can make out the names of the ship. There's one called the Moondancer and one called the Nightcrawler, which is the one that set off the beacon. So there is an additional tavern ship here that you didn't know was here.

So the Moondancer and the Nightcrawler? Yes. And then there's another ship there that you can't determine if it's a tavern. Like, there's more parts out there, so there's at least four ships here. Like, at least four ships destroyed and we know one's a terror and two are taverns and we don't know the fourth? Correct.

Okay. There's a second tavern ship here. What? The Moon Den. That makes sense. Feels like bait. Feels like they've been luring taverns here to kill them well what do we think i mean there's a terror ship there too so were they were they like did were they traveling together and or also the remnants of a fourth victor stays quiet now he's sort of trying to do the like the calculus in his head and trying to figure out like trying to reconstruct what's going on.

Can I tell if the other tavern was destroyed before or after? No, not really. It's difficult to tell. But as you're looking around, you notice that the edges of the tavern have this like silvery liquid almost like mercury on the destroyed edges and it's yeah and it's sort of like still roiling and still moving and every now and then like a peel of it will will float off and sort of dissipate into space but it seems to be now that you're looking at it it looks more like these things were melted or corroded than they were destroyed and is that on every ship or just the tavern or just just the

taverns both of them okay yeah captain what if what if the terrors were responding to a distress beacon just like us um he still he he like acknowledges your input but he's still doing his mental gymnastics. Give me an engineering check. Okay. Just an unnatural 20. Cool. That is more than enough. Now that you're seeing a live feed of like the

remaining parts of these ships, you can tell that the taverns weren't attacked by the terrors. I a hundred percent point that out to captain and anyone who's, who's listening. Yeah. So it is, it is very clear because there is no structural damage to the remaining

parts. So like you can take two seconds to look around your ship and what the terrors did to you guys and the amount of like physical damage and structural damage they caused in the short amount of time they were on your ship. There is no evidence of that on any of these ships. So we don't see like one uppercut wound. Not a single uppercut has happened to these ships. I use my punch sciences to,

to, you know, point this out. I mean, there is a thing called physical sciences. I know. I just noticed that I don't have anything at the oop. Can I roll like life science

about any kind of alien that could be an entity, a creature that could be hanging out on asteroids and destroy ships? Sure. That's just an eight. Nothing that you can think of could have done this.

Victor clears his throat and is finally snapped out of his sort of like daze and says Cody if it's possible try to get us a sample of that liquid there and we'll bring it back to the guild. There's not much we can do

in the middle of nowhere trying to run diagnostics on stuff when half our systems are down. We'll bring it back to the more capable science nerds and see what they have to say. Our job was to respond to the beacon. We're here. We found it. Let's go home. Anything else you want me to grab or just the liquid?

If there's anything you see, anything that stands out, sure, but no. As of right now, the only thing that seems to point of any interest is this liquid. Alright. How do I move forward? I guess part of my suit or whatever? How do I move? Am I just like... Oh yeah, no, you have like little thrusters.

Cool. I thrust my way over. Yeah, I'm not going to make you roll anything.'s it's simple enough to just kind of like like hold it as it sort of like you know peels off you can just hold the vial above it and like scoop it you don't even have to touch anything okay uh i'm gonna do a perception just before i leave in case there is anything that uh sure is of interest and that's a 14 no you have sort of seen of seen everything that stands out to you. No media floating through the void.

No weaponry. No. All right, I'm going to push off against the hull and jump back towards the ship. Sure. Oh, I will note, with your engineering check, Durin, a big thing that also stands out is the reactors are gone in both the taverns

that's very interesting so it is pretty much just like the front half and like other parts of the ship everything like the reactor itself is gone I go back through the footage a little bit and it looks like someone took all the reactors he looks at you and says the hell do you mean took and I just like go through the footage with him

and at least where like Cody's camera might be, like back ends of the ship. They're all gone. They're not here. I mean, yeah, they're not here, but it's a leap to say that they've been taken. But I mean, it's not a bad idea. It's not a bad thought.

It is something definitely to note. Good job, Dern. And it is weird for him to say that's weird. Yeah, I was already weirded out. Does he have a nickname for me? He does. And it is old timer. Oh, I like that.

But yeah, the fact that he has said Dern is strange. And he calls you back in, Cody. So unless there's something crazy you want to do while you're out there, you are. You have completed your. I was already sailing through the air towards the ship. Fantastic. And when you get back, Quip and Query are sort of in like the tavern proper area. Like what serves as the bar when you've docked.

And Quip is sort of sitting on the bar and Query is kind of leaning against it. And Victor is behind it, just kind of leaning on it. And during and Merrick, you join them as Cody reenters into the ship. And Victor says, well, I do believe that we should have ourselves a little family meeting. Unfortunately, Satir is going to have to sit this one out,

but something tells me I have a feeling what his vote will be. Merrick starts making cocktails for everybody. So unfortunately, when the ship is in flight, all of the booze is locked. Oh no. That's very unfortunate. Man, if I wasn't playing Cody, I'd be very upset about that. Cody just says, coffee, landed, as you walk over to the bar. The captain actually reaches under and opens a safe and pulls out a bottle of liquor.

But with the way that pressure works and the fact the ship can go wild, it makes no sense to have glass bottles unsecured during travel. So you can see them behind the bar and they're all behind like this force field with magnetic bottoms that have locked and like anchored them into place while you're traveling. Oh, my children. I appreciate the care that's been taken with the booze. Oh, 100%. That's like how they make half their money. And he pulls out his own personal bottle from behind the bar and begins pouring everyone a drink. That

wants it. I don't know if you guys drink. What is everyone's stance on alcohol? Oh, it's one of my favorite human inventions. Dern's a drinker. He's without a doubt uh cody do you drink cody seems confused as to what it is um he takes it for sure yeah perfect okay so he pours you one anyway and hands it all out to everyone uh query you notice doesn't drink uh she doesn't get one and this doesn't seem like it's a slight it's just uh she doesn't drink and and the captain knows that they've been traveling long enough that he doesn't even offer um and he says you see we all have something of a relationship here i would like to consider you all

an extended family cody and again it's strange that he uses your real name. Is a new addition to this ship. But not to this family. Not yet. So I would like to make it a point of order to discuss whether or not y'all would like to have him aboard. I can leave if you'd like. Well, that was the original plan. Once we got to the cube, you were offloaded and you were on your own. But you have served well.

You have kept us safe. And I will say you are a hell of a pilot in a pinch. So if you would like to stay, there is a spot on my crew for you. If everyone else agrees, I had, I had met the room while you discuss it, but I appreciate,

I appreciate that so much. And likeody's like beaming and query already has her hand up as does merrick yeah he's a good kid durin raises his hand as well quip shrugs and downs his drink and holds out his glass for another and raises his hand with the other and victor says well i would say that is a unanimous vote Cody welcome aboard the tavern maverick I don't have a family so thank you and he like raises the glass and like brings it to his mouth and like hesitates and like puts it back down Victor smiles at that and he says we'll find a place for you here and as long as you earn your keep and and hold

true to our values and rules we're happy to have you now before we officially make this a legitimate addition to the crew we have two rules one we make the universe a better place than where we left it and two he points to a neon sign behind the bar. Don't be a hero. We don't serve the universe if we're dead. And being a hero gets you dead. We do our jobs. We do the best that we can. But if it becomes a life or death choice between us or someone else or us and finishing a contract, we choose us. 100% of the time, every time. We can't do good if we're dead. And he looks at the sign again.

He says, Cody, what aren't we on this ship? Heroes. And he smiles. He pours himself another drink. He pours another drink for Quip. And he says, welcome aboard, junk heap. Thank you.