F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Give Your Date a Brick

Episode Date: April 6, 2026

Forget flowers, forget chocolates.  What every woman wants is a good, old fashioned, red brick.  Topics include committing to the brick bit, proving your masculinity, old love, cake for an ex.

Hello friends. My name is Dave Miller. And I'm Nile Spain and we are your fuck buddies. We are a sex and tanning advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations and turn them into sexy sticky situations. We find the questions, we grab them, we answer them for you, from you sometimes every Monday. And we're here doing it again. We're done doing it again. And this week we're going to talk about is it weird to give a girl a brick? How do I prove my masculinity at the restaurant?

How should a 74-year-old male spark attraction from females and X's new girlfriend just messaged me for cake? Got a good... That's a good smattering of... I've been sitting on some of these. I've been sitting on some of these because they're powerful. You might notice that Nile took over all the questions. That's because I...

I'm dealing with cat things. So Nile has taken the reins of questions. So I'm just... I'm all along for the ride. I'm excited to see what you've brought me. Honestly, I've got a good stockpile right now. I've got some good ones and I kept like there were some really good ones I had waiting for a live show. And I, you know, and I had some really good ones for our last week.

But then we did like the full thing on the Manosphere. Some of them were Mancier related. You'll see which one that is when we get to it. All right. Do you know which one that is? Can you guess? Actually, there's two. There's two of them that could fit.

It could be like the 74 year old or the restaurant one. You know what? I guess you're right. It is kind of both. Because the 74 year old man did send his problems to Suddoch. should. Yeah. Is it weird to give a girl a brick by short basil 6143? I, 25 year old male, have recently started seeing a girl, 23 year old female. Things have been good. We laugh. We have fun. We banter. Honestly, great time all round. But after our, oh, and after our first date, we saw a stack of

bricks joked about gifting each other one. On our second date, neither was brought. But we joked about doing it again. For our third, what would be the right move? Do I bring the brick or not? Let me presurface this but adding on our first date, I brought her a bar of soap because she told me as a kid she used to eat soap. She was surprised. So would it be bad to commit and bring the brick or will I look crazy? No, I, here's the thing.

You, I need to know when you say she was surprised by the soap. In what way? In what way, right? Was she like, oh my God. It's so funny. Or was she like, yeah. Was she confused or was it one of those things where it's like, oh, you listened to something that I said.

Like, I told you a story. you listened and this is a funny joke. Like, look, you've both made the joke of bringing a brick several times. I think if she gets weird about it, that's on her, right? You make a joke, you follow through, unless the way you're delivering the brick is through the window at night with like a dead bird attached to it. Yeah, yeah. Now, I think there's a few other things to consider here, which is one, how big that brick.

Like, are we talking like Cinderblock? Are we talking like a good old classic brick brick? Like it's in your hand brick. Red. Yeah. Yeah. Two, where are you going? Are you guys showing up to the like no kings protest in the US?

Because bring her a brick, ICE is going to throw you both in jail. Or like are you going to somewhere where the brick will either seem like one, a threat or two, just like an annoyance? Like are you going to the museum and then they're like, you can't smash the displays. And you're like, no, it's a fun brick date joke. I mean, I don't think, I think there's just a, like, I think the only time you bring a brick, like, if you're going out, if you're going to a bar, don't bring a fucking brick. Because someone's carrying that around, right? Is she going to tuck that into her purse and carry a brick around for the rest of the night? That sucks.

It's when you go over to her house, like the next, when that finally happens, when you're just like going over to her place with no other sort of like before or after. I mean, I guess after it was fine. You know, you bring, and I think you pair it with something, right? You pair it with like dead flowers through the window. Or a small animal that you've crushed with said brick and have shoved it into the hole. You know, like I think honestly, I think fuck pairing it. I think you got to wrap it. Like you got put a bow around it.

You got to make it just like just go a little over the top. Because the thing is if you're going to commit to the bit, commit to the bit. Don't just be like, it's brick. You know, you like, do like, hey, I got you something and like pull out of a brick with a bow wrapped around it. And like, yes. If you are anywhere where you feel like it could be annoying for her to have to carry this brick around all night, after you give her the brick, be cool and say like, by the way, you could totally put the brick on the ground. Because maybe they'll feel like they defend you if they, you know, not even the bad way. Just like, give me a brick.

I don't want to like, ha, ha, put it down immediately. So be cool. Give them be out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you can be like, you don't have to carry this around. Bring the brick. It's hilarious.

And committing to the bit is the best part of any relationship. Yeah. And it's like, it would be one thing if you kept making this joke. And she was like, what the fuck are you talking? And like was that, but like for you both to be participating in the bit, it would be weird for her to then be like, I can't believe you'd do this. Like, it'd be very weird if that was the move. But yeah, I think there are things you have to think about.

One, like who's carrying the brick? Two, is the brick going to be an annoying part of this? Because like, it stops being a funny joke when all of a sudden a brick is having to be carried and lugged around. And three is now said, like really, real lean into it. Like really, you know, ham it up. Wrap it, put a bow on it. Or be like, hey, I got you something you really like.

I'm really excited to give it to you. I saw it and I thought it was perfect. That kind of thing, right? Like really, really build it up and then be like, here it is. It's brick. Yeah. Because the thing is, I do, like, if you're into somebody and you guys managed to get this, like, private joke and like all these things, like,

that brings you so much closer than just like, hi, how are you? You know what I mean? Like it's really such a bond having these stupid jokes together. So if it works out, I think it's great. And if it doesn't work out, I don't know. You seem fun. And if it doesn't work out, I think that's a mismatch. Because you're going to want a girl that can follow through on the bit.

That's it, right? I think that like if anyone got weird about this, I think that's more of a reflection on them and not you. I don't like the world is bad. The world is just categorically. Just one second. Because it is April Fool is when we're recording this. we shouldn't do that anymore, right? April fools should be gone because like we can't have fun.

We can't make jokes. Everything that is anyone posts, it's like, oh, this is either actually better than reality or like I kind of believe it because everything is so fucking stupid now. Yeah. I hate, like, and I'm a goofy guy. I like, I want to do fun, goofy April Fool's joky bullshit. I want to give a girl a break, but not anymore. I mean, my point was like, we need to bring a little whimsy back, right?

We need to, and I think we need to do what we can to bring whimsy to other people's lives. So I think like indulging yourself in these like silly little things that are unique to your, to this connection, right? Like it's like, you know, I don't think it's very special if you bring like a meat. Like if it's like, oh, bring the, it's the brick challenge. Give your partner a brick. Like, fuck that, whatever. But like this is something that is. We could start that.

We can start the hashtag brick challenge. Maybe that's the thing that finally gets us into the stratosphere. But I will say, I think it's really good because we do need to arm our women. Yeah. Give them a brick. Give them a brick. Give them a crossbow. You know what it'll protect them?

Swinging a purse with a brick in it. Yeah. I don't know. Just lean into the whimsy, man. Let's do it. Just do it. And if she doesn't like it, that's her problem. She's living in a non-whimsical life.

And if that's her choice, that's her choice. but I don't want to be a part of it. So this one's a bit of a journey. Stay with me. Proving masculinity by either analyst, 46, 48. I, 43-year-old male, I'm recently divorced and getting back into the dating game for the first time in 15 years. I've recently been thinking of trying to prove my masculinity to my dates by speaking down to waiters and other service industry employees in a very confident and assertive tone.

I feel like I can maybe demonstrate to girls how she's with a strong man who doesn't play by society's rules, probably tipping very low, making insulting remarks about the person to the girl, too. I was also considering experimenting with holding eye contact with random men of the bar on the street when we're on date so I can hopefully get a couple, what the fuck are you looking at in front of her? I'm curious to hear from men and women if there are any downsides to this approach. How could you have this thought and think, no downsides? I can't come up with a downside. So I read this and I was like, I'm not going to bring this to the podcast because it's obviously bullshit, right?

It's obviously a joke. This is not serious. But then someone in the comments was like basically saying the same thing and they were like, well, take a look at this guy's post history. And let's just see a little bit about that. So two years ago, he posted the exact same thing about the first date and how to prove his masculinity. And every post in between those two has been on like dick enlarging subreddits where it's either like, I've been doing this. I've been doing this. Oh my God, it's working so well.

fought interspersed by my dick is so injured posts and people being like you gotta slow down buddy so I genuinely do actually think it is real because it's just a very weird like I think there'd be more posts about this if it was a like a troll and I think there would be no reason to do all the dick enlarging stuff in between and his dick is just so injured yeah man it's it's a hard journey it's you know no pain no gain quite literally in this situation That's what I always say when it comes to anything dick related. Yeah. If your dick ain't hurting, you ain't flirting.

If it ain't hurting, it not going to be squirting. Hey, oh. So, well, clip that, people. Just clip that out of context for when we're, yeah. Look, there's so much here that is dumb. One, I think it's almost universally accepted that being rude to wait staff, suck shit. And that's not even just coming from two people who work in the industry. I'm saying like, look at like any sort of complaints of like first state behavior or stuff. And it's like,

oh, they were shitty to the waitstab. They were shitty to the waiter. They were shitty to the cab driver or whatever. Right. Like that doesn't make you look strong. That doesn't make you look masculine. It's like that person has to be there. That person has to talk to you and do their job. And regardless of how shitty you treat them, they have to continue to be professional and nice to you. So like, you're doing it in the, like, it's like going to a boxing match and be like, hey, this guy can't hate you. So show

how strong you are just by hitting a dude who's like handcuffed, blindfolded, and isn't allowed to retaliate or defend himself at all. Yeah, you're so tough. What you're doing is you're actually making that person who's taking your bullshit, acting professionally, still doing their job,

and probably honestly making a joke at your expense is making you look like an idiot. They look fucking hell of cool. You know what I mean? They look manly because they can deal with this shit and you clearly can't. Let's just run through the downsides real quick because this is what this question asks your answer wants. One, your date's going to think you're a fucking asshole because you're an asshole.

Or your date won't think you're an asshole because they're an asshole. Congrats. You're dating an asshole. Or like they're going to think you're the opposite of this, right? Like they're going to think you're weak. Yes. This isn't affirming like because you're, this guy who's equating mass. with being an asshole.

Yeah, like being, being absolutely the worst. And it's like, if that's your view of masculinity, I got bad news for you. We're talking about this. I mean, we talked about it last week when we're talking about the manosphere. It's like the loneliness epidemic is one that is,

you know, loneliness epidemic is one perpetrated by people who think that this is what masculinity is. So if you want to make or subscribe, to this bullshit of of men are strong and therefore men has to be mean and shitty and bad then like why how can you not understand that that's going to be a detriment to your not only life and mental health but also your dating career as well yeah yeah on top of that you're gonna have a bad time not only because I'm sure your date's gonna hate it but like the people serving you aren't gonna want to serve you well so they're going to go out of their way to make things a little bit worse where applicable.

You won't get your water refill because why would they want to swing by the table that's abusing them, right? You're not going to get that extra shot. He's not going to big you up. I mean, Dan have talked before. Like, one, you should just be nice to people because that's how the world should work, right? Unless they're being a dick to you. You know how it is.

But two, if you're nice to your bartender, if you're nice to your server and like you go to the bathroom when your date talks to something, like we have the perfect opportunity to big you up or cut you down. And it's so easy. We can bring a free round of shots. And now this date suddenly is like, oh my God, like we got the shots. Like, blah, blah, blah. We can say and do so many things to affect the trajectory of this date that like, yeah, I can crash a date immediately. Easy. Easy. Easy. So it's like. And I know that like where, but like you're dealing with people who like you are not unique in doing this. At least once a shift, we're going to get someone like you in. And we know how to deal with.

you. And we, at least for me, I know a few people who, especially newer people, younger people in the industry, but if like, God forbid, my dude, if you get someone who's been doing this longer than five years, you're fucking cooked. They've been in the wars. They've been in the trenches. Literally nothing you could say could fucking flap them. And they're going to be able to cut you down the size. If they've worked a St. Paddy's Day, if they've worked a Mother's Day brunch. Yes. they have worked. Yeah.

Like, if they've worked any of the the purge days for the hospitality industry, you don't stand a chance. You know,

you register at me with a fucking, like, trying to like, you know, big dog me, I'm going to eviscerate you. I'm going to embarrass

you in front of all your friends. And I can do it with my fucking eyes closed. Like, it is not hard for me to take this average midman down a peg or two. It's,

the best thing is, like, you're not doing it by being like, fuck you, you're short or whatever. You're literally just being polite. Because you're doing it in the confines of the professional environment that you're in, which is so much more devastating for them as well

because they can't go up to your manager. You're like, well, he called me a piece of dirt. It's like, well, he said, wait, did you mean this in a certain tone and looked at me and proved that I didn't know enough about what I mean. It's so simple and what you're doing is completely innocent, but it's like napalm

on the egos of these men. Yeah. I mean, I've talked about it, right? where it's like if a dude comes up to me and like is a fucking asshole and they order tequila, I always ask them. You want training wheels with that? And you know, like immediately they're like, no,

it's fine. Yeah. I don't like that term, but I also don't like straight tequila. So my masculinity is going to kick in and mean that I'm going to have to suffer and I don't have the balls to clarify. And it's beautiful because I know what I've done. He knows what he's done.

Yeah. And what are you going to do? Like I asked, Do you want, do you want this service? And you said no. The best thing is, it's like if you were a confident, masculine man, it wouldn't matter what it's called. If you want it, yeah, boom, you say, yeah, I'd listen. We have a dear friend who, I don't know if he does it intentionally, but I think it's just what he gravitates towards naturally. He orders the like frillyest, most extravagant drink almost everywhere we go. And this man will sit at a bar with a fucking

root beer float on a Saturday night. And like, not a fucking flicker. Because that's what he wants. That's being the man right there. That's being just a confident person. And this is a, like, I think when you have the thought process of like, I'm going to go and improve my masculinity by saying something in a confident, it's sort of way, you're not going to do that.

Because if you have to like qualify the confidence in which you say something, that that you're not confident in doing it and instead you're going to project confidence which is going to come off so fucking weird so I would much rather come across a little nervous, a little awkward than fake confidence

because that shit smells from a mile away and people can tell it from a mile away especially like faking confidence while also being a dick like it's so get out of here what are you doing and like oh I'm going to tip low okay cool so now you're all

Also going against your own ethos where masculinity and money are intensely linked. Now you're also like on poor. Like what are you doing? Yeah. This is bad. Again, another thing that like no one finds a trap. Yeah. Imagine being like, oh, yeah, this is my partner.

He's notoriously cheap. I hate when he pays the bills because it's so embarrassing for me. Going out is a hell. And when we're walking down the road, all he does is stare at men. Yeah. I mean, we'll get to that in a second. But it's like, do you really think that like you're going like you'll never be able to go back to that bar? Because if you come in on multiple dates, multiple times and treat me like shit and don't tip me, I'm going to fucking ruin you.

I'm going to destroy your entire career, both dating career. And I'll find where you work and I will make that. But it's like, what are you doing? So you're going to be constantly going to new bars. Because the second you walk in, people are going to be like, oh, leave the like, fuck that guy. Yeah. Let him sit there. whatever, who cares.

And hopefully maybe he'll go. And then like, because what do I care? You're not going to tip me. Exactly. And also, oh, no. Are you, wait forever? Are you going to get upset? You're already upset.

You're already being a dick. So, like, the worst case has already happened. So I may as well preserve my fucking mental health and just leave you where you are. Let's, what you get impotently more and more upset. Like, cool. Do you look, do you look manly now? You're crying because no one will come get you a drink. Yeah, exactly.

I'm cooking you right now. Yeah. I'm, I'm, I'm in the kitchen because you're getting cooked. Yeah, it's so fucking dumb. Fuck,

I was going to say something. But meanwhile, the table next to you, that is being nice, I'm going to be extra nice to them because fuck you. They're getting free shots. They're not even that great. We're laughing.

We're loud. We're going to be fucking guffawing. I mean, the best thing is also, I, and like, maybe I shouldn't do this. Maybe I shouldn't admit to doing this.

But if I have a fucking dick at my bar usually I have at least one or two regulars at my bar at all times um I will go up to them and I'll be like hey this guy's being an absolute piece of shit let's have the best time and like we'll like all have like a big laugh and like look at them and then turn back and laugh again you know I mean it's like I have an army of people yeah who vibe with me that I can weaponize against you and like any any local bar spot probably has that like you will turn every place you go to hostile to you. And is that what you want?

And like, okay, you've proven your masculinity. This person decides to date you. And then all of a sudden she's like, all right, like, I really like this bar. You go in. You're rude to the weight stuff. Can't go. You don't tip them. And now all of a sudden she's like, yeah, well, I don't really want to go out with you right now.

Like, I want to go to my bar. And every time we go there, you fucking verbally assault my favorite bartender, who I've been going to for fucking years or whatever. And like, you know, you don't tip. So like that's embarrassing. Yeah. Do you think that's a good look? Even if for some reason your partner is okay with all this, which again, they suck in that case.

So congratulations, you're dating somebody who sucks, which you probably don't care because you suck. Your friends, unless they also suck aren't going to want to go out with you because no one's going to be like, oh, let's do a little double date. Oh, yeah. Sorry, we invited the fucking worst person. He's just going to ruin everything. Cool. We're going to go without them. We're going to go with other people.

We're going to tell other people not to bring them. So now you guys can't really go out. you're not going to have any good bonds at any bars you go to, even if you're both okay with this. No one else is going to want to go out with you. You're going to start to get bad service if you ever return to a place or during a place once you start. Like it's literally nothing but downside. Yeah.

And then like, let's talk about it. I'm sorry. But your next move after being an absolute asshole to the wait seraph is to, I guess, ignore your date and stare at men to try to get them to be hostile towards you. Let's be fair. that's a cool fucking move. Like,

that's what I think. That's so cool. Like, no, no. It's like, we say at every episode, we say when you're with someone,

what do you do? You stare daggers at every man down the street. And what does Dane say? You got to get at least seven. What the fuck are you looking at? Or what are you doing? You go home and you look at yourself in the mirror and you say bad boy. Bad boy.

What you're going to do? When I stare at you. It's so dumb. Like, this is what you think. think masculinity is that like that you have to plan and orchestrate this tough guy persona like this couldn't be any less masculine in terms of even like I'm using like I'm using like the toxic definition of masculinity right of like being a macho tough guy assertive confident like this you

planning and scheming how to prove your so be so aggressive I'm going to be I'm going to confidently and assertively and then I'm going to also orchestrate hostile interactions with other men to show how tough fight. Just a little bit, just so they say, what are you looking at? And then, well, God, we got to get out of there. Like, what's your plan after that, dude?

Yeah. So you, okay, you fucking mean mug this dude. And you pick a little guy because you're like, you know, I could probably take him to a fight. You can't. That guy's fucking crazy. Yeah, he's got nonchokes, man. You look at this guy and a guy comes over and say,

you got a problem with me? What do you say then? Do you say, yeah, I got a problem with you? And then you fucking brawl? Or do you say, no, sir? No, I've got a problem with the weight staff. Like, what's the next move there? Like, do you not think beyond sort of this weird fucking bullshit?

How can you think when your dick's in so much pain, right? That's the only, the only olive branch that I'm going to extend towards him is that, yeah, if my dick was absolutely ravaged, I probably wouldn't be playing with a full deck either. But I mean, this is like, this is the sad part of it. of if this is a real human being going through real human things, it's very obvious that if you're hurting your day, like if you're doing so much damage, physical damage to your genitals in an effort to make them larger

based on things that you read on Reddit, then obviously you're racked with insecurity. Obviously you feel we wouldn't need anything but this one that we've, this question we read out to know that. Right. So it's like, okay, maybe you have a smaller, than average penis or maybe you have an absolutely average penis and you just have man brain and

feel like that's not good enough because you watch porn or whatever and you're constantly comparing yourself to unrealistic dick standards or also so unintuned or so sort of like disconnected to what women actually find satisfying in bed and think that dick sizes be all and end all uh that like your way of compensating this is to become the worst version of a cartoon man yeah And it's sad. Like, it's heartbreak. It is. It is very sad.

But it's also awful. Like, it's harmful. Like, if it was just sad, I think I could be a lot more kind about this. But it's like, it's sad and you're also being a terrible person. So it's like, you don't get the past. You don't get the, oh, you're just being sad. Like, sorry. Like, it is incredibly sad.

And my heart breaks for you. And I hope something in your life kind of like alters course and pushes you back towards good stuff. But like, also stop being a piece of shit. Yeah. If it was all like internal stuff. it would be easier to feel sorry for you, but you are actively making this

other people's problems. You are trying to instigate like hostile interactions with complete strangers both wait staff and random men just sitting around. And like, what do you doing? Why does this make, why do you think that this is going to equate to

seeming tough, seeming confident, seeming like a man? Well, the irony is, I think you fail masculinity from our rubric and by the rubric of these manisphere people. Like you're just, you're not doing a good job on either side,

you know? So you just got to stop. You're muted. You're muted. The second you have to orchestrate a gambit to appear tough or masculine, then you've lost the plot. Like you're, you're not that thing if you are making things up to,

like, like you could dress up like Batman. Doesn't make you batman. Yeah. And like, there are way easier ways to prove your masculine on a date. Like the things me and Dan always do. you get hit by a car, get back up, right?

You walk out on the street. Break a bone. Yes, right? You get hit by a car, you get back up, you go. And the thing is, you're not even being mean to the person that hit you with the car. That's what you're being mean to waitstaff. I'm telling the guy that hit me his car, don't worry about it. And I'm limping off like I'm actually fine.

I don't even want a bandage. That's the thing, bleed. No, I'm not going to tell people to bleed every. This is how dumb you sound. Because this, this advice is essentially what you're saying. Stop it. We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back with the rest of the show.

show. And we're back. How should a 74-year-old male spark attraction from a female by HTX friend? Older males seldom find a woman that is attracted to them. How can an older male spark that attraction that leads to seduction and more? Now, before we answer this, is that a true statement? I don't. You know what? I actually don't think it is a true statement because the one thing I've heard about like people working in old folks homes is that they be fucking. They fucking, yeah. I mean, I hear that they be fucking. Like older men, like maybe not in the 70s, but like older guys, there is a large contingent of women who prefer older men. Yeah.

I assume this person is considering they were like seductions where I go to get my advice. I assume they're not like, oh, how do I find a 65 year old woman? And it's how do I date a 19 year old girl? Yeah. But like somebody comment, tactical testicles commented. The lion may lose the teeth, but not the hunger. And our question asker replied, horny is horny.

Dot, dot, dot, yes. I think that's all we need to know. Yikes. I, like, I don't know what to. Have you tried being into waitstaff? Yeah. Have you tried staring like me mugging strangers on the street? Because you can't do the car one.

You're too old for the car one. You can't do that. Yeah, you're not going to survive getting hit by a car. You're muted. Is that the whole question? question. Just like, that's the whole question. How, how do I become attractive to women? Yeah. Yeah, dude, if there's an answer for that, like, unfortunately, you're living in a world where, like, you are elderly. So you, you have a lot of hurdles to get over. And again, if it's coming from where Nile is coming from, which I imagine probably is roughly a being like, how do I bag a younger baddie to fuck my old man bones? Um, and look, I'm not saying that the 74 year old can't get it. I'm sure plenty of seven-year-old men are cleaning up in ways.

But, like, you're asking for us to be like, here's a step-by-step guide. Yes. Dude, I know nothing about it. I don't know what your hobbies are. I don't know what you look like. I don't know where you live. Like, you're wrinkly. You know, like, I don't know anything about you.

So, like, you can't just be like, how to me, how do I, the 74-year-old man, get laid? Yeah, like, where are you? Go and meet someone. What are your health concerns? Who are you looking for? Like, are you a good? good 74? Are you ravaged? Are you looking for a 19 year old? Are you looking for a fucking 71 year old? Like, because I think you're going to find various different reproaches based on that. But the worrying

things for me are one, you keep saying female. That's weird. Two, you're asking for like a, as Dane said, like this magic answer. So you already haven't gotten it. You're 74 years old and you think there's a magic answer. Do you think you've just like missed it for fucking seven and a half decades? You've been like, damn, someone has it. Yeah. Like, and, and, And were you previously engaged, married with someone? Are you a virgin? Are you been alone your whole life? Like what surely you must know at this point in time what your strengths and weaknesses are, who you're attracted to, and like ways to meet people.

And if you don't, I'm sorry. But like, that's not going to be something you can learn on the internet. Unless you're listening to our podcast. Uh, yeah. Unless you're listening to our. Rewindane. Yeah. That is something you can.

learn on this podcast. You can definitely learn on the internet. The best way to do it is not our Patreon. I wonder if this person maybe is freshly, you know, single. Like maybe they're the wife that either divorced or passed. And now they're finally trying to get back out there. Great. I think very important is that you need to make sure you're with the times.

And that is... Well, maybe he doesn't, maybe at his days, maybe he shouldn't be with the times. maybe he needs to stay in his time to attract. Or again, if you're going young, maybe you do go with the times. Backwards hat, 6, 7. Yes. Yes. Healy's a wreck.

Healy's got to be back by now, right? That's 20 years. I think, no, don't get with the times because Gen Z men are terrible. You got to get with our times because apparently women of all generations are gravitating towards millennial men because they actually treat women respectfully. Yes, because we're the only generation who's figured in. yeah it's so so heartbreaking that like there was a concerted effort by billionaires to poison the fucking generation below us because they saw the way things were going they were like we're fucked and it worked and that's fucking heartbreaking we were so close I know it's all I think about

every time I read a new article about being like the zillenials or whatever the fuck they're called are like the most religious and like gravitating towards conservative politics I'm just like all I can think of is the fucking Obi-1 Kenobi and Anakin, it's like, you were supposed to defeat the Sith. No, join them. It's like, hey, Joe. That's all I can think of. Every time I read one of

those articles and I'm just like, oh, can we cut these kids into little bits and throw them into lava? Whoa. Someone's going to clip that now too, Dane. I'm just saying maybe the world's better off if they get lightsabered.

I would say to this man, join a like there are things for people of advanced age right there are clubs there are social meetups there are like old folks homes and stuff like my granny didn't go to an old folks home until very close to the end of her life

but she was still able to go and like join up with like meetups of people similar to her age in various places and she was like fucking old she was like a hundred so and I mean that literally so if she can go out I'm fine people

couldn't get her off those helis couldn't get her off those fucking man. We couldn't catch her. So that was the first hurdle. The rolling hills of Ireland were used to you just get that velocity down the hill. Exactly. Yeah. So time couldn't catch her and neither could we. No. So you got to go. You got to be proactive. I don't think you're going to find very much success with younger people unless you are the silverest of silver foxes or you're incredibly wealthy and willing to throw that around. If that's the kind of relationship that you want, sure, but before you spend all your money on young women who only want you for your money, maybe consider your family.

If you have a family and you're just going to spend their inheritance on young women, I don't know, maybe consider that. Going back to millennials, it's the only way we'll ever buy a house. Yeah, yeah, your poor children. Now, maybe they're old enough, actually. They could buy a house for, if they're in their 50s, they probably bought a house for $10. Fuck them. Spend your money on women.

Yeah, I mean, that's the other thing where it's like I, you know, I'm a, I'm a strong supporter of people who require companionship. Sex work and sex workers provide valuable resources for this kind of stuff. You, if you want this, you can pay for it. And I think that is, and I don't mean that in a, like, I mean that in a very positive, in a very, like, supportive way in terms of like, you know, sex work is real work.

That's what it's there for. So, yeah, it's an option. So, you know, I think you could very much. like pay for companionship if that's something you want. You got to be cool, right? Don't be a fucking piece of shit to these people either. Yeah. I mean like the nice thing is that there's a lot of sex workers who sort of like run their own businesses.

Like it's not, I mean, there's still a lot of, you know, exploitation in the industry. But thankfully for the internet and like that kind of stuff, like safety and being able to sort of, you know, monitor your own clientele. So it's like, yeah, it's like if you find someone you like and you're

terrible to them, they're probably not going back, because they could get like there's there's no short demand for their services. So, you know, uh, but I think like, I think there's some self reflection that needs to happen. I think you need to ask yourself, what am I looking for? Am I looking for just sex? Because you need to come to terms with the fact that like, that might be a more difficult thing to do if you're looking for like someone in their 30s, someone in their 20s.

You know, like if you are looking for a young, hot, absolute fucking smoke show to just take you to pound town. Yeah. That might be a more. difficult thing to do. You got to be realistic. Yeah. And it's like, look, just 74. I love, I love the dream, but... Do we love the dream? No, I don't love the dream.

I think you got to be realistic and you got to, like, not be a piece of shit. So, it's like, if you want to just sleep with a 20 year old, that's gross. It's kind of fucking gross. So stick within your age bracket, hire a sex worker, but no matter what you do, there isn't a magic answer and seduction is not the place you're going to find this. You've lived a life. You know how things work. You know that you need to be nice person. You know you need to have things going for you. So it's like work on those things and then be social. That's really the answer. You know, you're not going to find someone if you're not out in a place where people can be found. So be social. Go join a club. Go, you know, to like old people meetups,

go to like whatever. And this will kind of like help you get out of your comfort zone. Try online dating. You know what I mean? With the caveat being that it's not a magic bullet, it has a lot of problems and a lot of issues. And, you know, we've talked about a million times. So go back and listen to one of those episodes. Don't put your fucking like, don't be 74 and putting your age bracket to like 20s. Because like that's a good way for you to get scammed. Like

yeah. AI is very convincing these days and it's very easy to be like and give me some money and I'll do this. If you're 74, AI doesn't even need to be convincing. You could just get an email from a you know a Nigerian prince and you're fucked.

So like I know a lot of people who are over a certain age bracket who I'm surprised have not given up all of their life savings yet. So you gotta be aware. But there's no magic answer. You just gotta get out there. Be social. Be nice and hope. Or pay a sex worker. My 25 year old female X, 31 year old male,

new girlfriend just messaged me for a cake. And I don't know how to feel. This is by Snoop Homes, 7439. I, 25 year old female, run a small but successful food and pastry business. And I received a cake order request for my ex's new girlfriend, of all people. There's almost a year and a half since our breakup. it was him who initiated it, things ended amicably. For a while after, I would still respond whenever I reached out, but eventually I realized he's never coming back,

and things are never going back to how they used to be. Letting go that last with the hope was hard, but I managed to move on over time. I don't really know when he started seeing someone new, but I heard about her mutual friend. I had a feeling who the girl might be from back when I still followed him on social media, so I was honestly surprised when her name popped up in my DMs asking about a cake for their anniversary.

Though she didn't mention his name, I knew it was him she's in a relationship with. Now I'm conflicted. business is business, but I don't know how I feel about being the one to make a cake for them. I'm quite flattered if they're after the quality of my work, but I live several towns away from them. There could have been other options near them. Part of me wants to stay professional and accept the order, but another part of me feels shock, I guess. Not sure if I should accept or decline. As then we've been in a similar situation, what would be the best thing to do? I'd love to know how sure you are that this is the person that, like, what's the name?

Is it Jane Smith? Like, you know what I mean? Like, how common is the name? How, how absolutely sure. You're like, I had an idea and I'm sure this is her. And I know that this is like, is it just like, are you, did you happen to see a couple pictures of them like at an event or something? Like, that must be her. Because you also say you haven't, you've unfollowed him presumably and you're not checking his social media. So like, do you know that this is his girlfriend? And if you don't, then I don't know, look, my, my short answer is if this makes you feel weird, don't take the job unless you need the money. You can say, hey, I'm really sorry.

Yeah, like, I'm sorry. I don't actually have availability right now. I got booked out for a big thing. I'm really sorry. Here's a list of some other, you know, like here's some other places I can recommend. And then that's professional. That's clean. You don't have to feel weird about it.

If you need the money, fucking suck it up and make the cake. Yeah. Honestly, I don't really know what more I can add to that because, yeah, that's 100% it's a very easy way. You don't have to be like, hey, I think that you might be dating the guy and I've reached out either accidentally or weirdly and no, fuck that, just I'm busy.

I'm booked out, sorry. Yeah, sorry, I got a huge commission like a week ago and I don't think I'd be able to have time to do that. It's a white lie. It's so simple. It's so easy. Until your local businesses that you, you know, your friends if you have anyone or whatever to keep them from going to like the big box like grocery store

or like, you know, whatever. Keep the local economy stimulated. with some recommendations and just move on. Unless this girl is doing this on purpose, she's reaching out to rub it in your face. If you say this, she's creating a fake account and she's emailing you for a cake commission and then when you agree to that, boom, you lied to me.

Boom, one-star review. Boom, I'm bringing my new boyfriend who's going to abuse the waitstaff at your cake shop. He's also 74. Yeah. Okay, so you think this might be a setup, a sting operation. I don't know.

Obviously they think something is up play here, right? Because they're like, why would you reach out? They are a couple of towns away and it does seem like a bit of a coincidence. I'll say that. But if that's the case, surely following through is worse than not following through anyway. Yeah. I mean, like, here's the other thing I'm thinking of is like, maybe the boyfriend was like, my ex used to make really good cakes.

Yeah. Like, right? And maybe this girlfriend's chill and being like not jealous and being like, look, my boyfriend, and yeah, he seems to like this cake. I mean, he might also, she might also not know that you're his ex. Yeah, but also like maybe if he,

if they talk and if they're cool and you're right, like maybe he was like, I really love these cakes. She'd be like, I can just order under my name, so it won't be weird. Yeah. And then maybe it's nice,

but like you're making it weird. That's what I'm saying. It's like, it all comes down to like what, what will protect your mental health the most and what will make you feel okay? What will make you like not spiral? Like if making this cake, it seems like you have hangups about this breakup, right?

This idea of being like, oh, it was really tough to let go and realize that he's never coming back. It seems like you wanted to reinitiate the relationship that you thought maybe you could work it out. Maybe you would end up together again. So it seems like there is some past resentment or hope or heartbreak about this that maybe you're not ready to let go. You've unfollowed him.

So like even though like I still follow all my exes. I never Well I don't know There's one I don't But that's just like I didn't unfollow They just You know I definitely

Unfollow some my exes And that's fine Like whatever Depending on how their relationship goes But it's weird to be like It was an amicable split And then be like

I did also then have to Purge my social media Up this person Because like And they also are a little like Oh I I think I happen to find out Like you're not

You know this shit Because you're asking around Right you're putting in the air. Or you're doing your own sleuthing. Yeah. On social media. So if this is going to bother you, if this is going to reopen old wounds, if this is going

to make you feel bad, don't do it. Again, unless like this is the difference between you making rent or not, then you might just have to. If the grim boot of capitalism is on your throat and the only way to alleviate the pressure is by making this cake, make the cake. Yeah. And maybe set a higher commission so that you could afford a therapy session afterwards as well. Yeah.

this cake is a thousand dollars bitch i mean hey if it's a real good cake if they're willing to go two towns over that's yeah that's the thing i would say like oh i won't drop it over you can come pick it up or some shit like if you're part of your delivery is part of your thing i wouldn't drive that's how you find out if that's them you also come pick it up you find out how how much they want it right because if they are trying to fuck with you and it's like okay well you to go pick it up i'm not going to drive a couple towns over which i think is fucking reasonable, you know? Also, it's $2,000.

Also, it's $2,000. The not picking it up fee is more expensive than the I deliver it fee. Yeah. You ready for one more? This is by cool, funny persona. It is seduction. Does fucking fours or below help you in any way, getting fives and up? Does it help with inner game, outer game, status within social circle, or any other aspect?

What the fuck are you talking about? It's not me. Like, no, it is you. You've asked me this question every day since I met you. Does it? I'm trying to build status, bro. If you are still rating women on a 1 to 10 scale, you are a piece of shit and don't deserve to have sex ever. If you look at a woman who is a human being with thoughts and feelings and hopes and dreams and say, that's a four. Yeah.

You deserve to be hit in the throat with a sporting equipment. Ski. Ski pool. Sure. A luge. A luge, a canoe. Just full on, just grabbed and hit in the throat with it. Yeah. Because it's just, yeah.

So I know where you think. Yes, go, please. No, I'm just going to say that that is advice right there. You want something that will fucking benefit you. That don't do that. Right? Easy. Do you stop rating women by fucking numerically?

And also like they're worth to you. And then don't sleep with people you don't want to sleep. with, especially not because you think sleeping with the person you don't want to sleep with will help you be cool or sleep with other people that you do deem worth it. Like, that's fucking disgusting. Yeah, because, okay, let's operate under this, this, uh, uh, numerical system here. A four is below what you would consider your average, your five, your, this is like the bottom tier, the bottom scale of what you find attractive.

So you're asking, hey, do you think people will think it's cool if I'm known for only sleeping with people I don't find attractive? Yeah. What the fuck are you talking about? What do you mean? If I had a, if there was a guy in my group for a group of friends and they were like, look at that one. I don't have any interest in her. Got to snatch her up. I'd be like, you're a gremlin man and I hate you.

Also, there's no way someone this weird and insecure isn't also going like, well, I don't actually like her, though. Like, I know, like, bro, like, I don't, and then you just seem even worse than you see him now. Yeah, are you then bragging about it? Or are you being, like, keeping it secret like at your dirty little shame? It's going to be, I bet, a weird mix of bragging, but then back paddling, which is just such a fucking bad. A lot of like, I was hammered.

Yeah. I was so drunk. Oh, you know, fuck off, man. What are you fucking doing? Go back in time, delete this. Go back in time and don't post this. We're going to go back in time and delete this. you. Yeah, without luge.

It's, okay, are you ready for the, are you ready for the comments or seduction? Any port in a storm can't hurt in my opinion. Yeah, it helps with outer game validating your approach works. It gives you a boost to confidence. It makes you less needy desperate because you've action to access to more options. There's someone else's sevens or eight. One way to look at it. It's like weird that it's like almost positive. Like it's so seductiony words like that's like that's almost a good. way to look at things, but it's not.

They're saying like looks are subjective, but they're also like, fuck them. Oh, God. I just can't. I just can't. Yeah. I mean, like, if I haven't heard, like, a dude refer to women as a number in maybe 10. I've heard tens. Yeah.

If someone's going to say, you're 10 or she's 10, like, sure, because I guess it's, like, positive, you know? Yeah. Um, but like the, the whole like, oh, I hooked up with a. you know, just to make the eight jealous. I hate you. I do. And I like,

I know hate is a strong word, but I do think you're actively destroying the fabric of society as an individual. Yes. And like, that makes me hate you. And I'm not above it anymore. No, I think hating people is great.

Once they're right people. We've been through so much. And the world is, is quite grim. I think that more people need to hate bad people. Yes, yeah. We shouldn't be tolerant of intolerance. Yeah.

It just sucks to all the worst people are the ones doing the hating. Yeah. Yeah. Good people should hate. That's our new merch. That's it, man. If you're a good person, hate the bad people. Make them feel uncomfortable.

Make them feel weird. And like, that's the easy thing, right? Like, it might, you might not be able to change people's mind, but you can make people feel weird. Yeah. And that, I think, is the arrow that decent people have in their quiver at all times of just like and it's you don't need to do much usually you just have to say what do you mean and that's enough to unravel most shitty people because then the second they have to sort of explain themselves or you know kind of outline their worldview yeah it's gonna get real bad for them and they're gonna

get fucking they're gonna get weird and that you know is is enough for me that way that way much it's honest work yeah it's i got us i can't think about this question anymore I got to go into the world and live. We love you. Thanks for coming by. If you want to learn how to hook up with people as a 74 year old man, join our Patreon. Yep, we have a full episode about that. Yeah.

No, we appreciate the sport. If you have the ability and desire to do so, please join our Patreon. It helps keep the lights on, keep the show going. If you want to support in other ways, please find our reels, our posts, share them, like them, comment on them, tell a friend, give us a good review on whatever podcasting app you use. Yeah, it all helps and we love you. And every time you see, if, like, if you're being pushed Manosphere stuff and like Joe Rogans, Andrew Tates and whatever on your algorithm,

maybe just like tag us in the comments and be like, men would be better off listening to fuck buddies instead, right? Instead of arguing with people instead of whatever. Like, not to say, or whatever positive voice that you want to amplify. Yeah. It doesn't even have to be ours. I'm happy for anyone being shamed. shifted away from the shit and onto the positive.

Obviously, we'd love it if it was ours. Yeah. But if the choice was that nobody ever talked about us ever and other people who were positive got uplifted or we got, you know, we would take that choice. Yeah. One year away from these people is enough for me. Yeah. That's, I think that's our kind of, now I was talking about it in our last episode about

how important is to platform good voices, positive voices, educated voices. I think that's kind of going to be our mantra for a little bit of being like, please, our mantras fear. Instead of engaging in hateful stuff and arguing with people who probably aren't going to change their mind, maybe elevate the voices that you think people could be swayed by. Because I think that's the way forward. I think that's how we sort of fight back in the war of garbage cultural ideals. Ready for some bad sex writing?

Yeah. This is by My Funny Demon Valatine by Aurora Asher. Eva, it came out like a growl. Ash, hers came out like a sigh. A mischievous glint suddenly entered those midnight blue eyes. Her entire female reproductive system lit up like a carnival parade. Like she had a freaking turn me on button on her forehead for a ride that only he could operate. You know, it's funny because I've gotten to the point where the second they start talking about like a weird, like there was a glint.

I was like in her breasts. I just assume, I just assume whatever. Yeah, I assume whatever this like mischievous. look is coming from is from her breasts because that seems to be what is happening. I mean, this is worse. This was bad. I don't like it. Yeah, I don't want to think of clowns down there.

That's a good point. Right. Yeah. I can hear the music. Like, is it rotating? Yeah, exactly. In my head, it's like do, do, do it. And it's turning and there are hard pieces because it's like I'm

looking down on the ride and I'm going to hit off the seats. A mole pops out. Yeah. That would be fucking so fun. actually might hurt my dick if it was a sophomore. Is your dick the hammer in this scenario? Obviously my dick's the hammer. I guess so. I mean, I think it would be kind of

a shitty whack-a-mole when there is only one one hole in the old come out. Well, well. Well, Dan. My name's Day Miller. And I'm Nile Spain. Think about that one. Take that one through your week. You've been your fuck buddies.