F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Greedy Pervert

Episode Date: June 29, 2026

If you don't listen to this episode, I WILL start tweeting like Drake. Topics include AI catfishing, disclosing all your deal breakers, ruining the mood with bodily functions, how to completely misread signals, don't be greedy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello friends. My name is Day Miller. And I'm now, Spain. And we're your fuck buddies. We are a sex and dating advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy, sexy situations and turn them into sexy sticky situation. We source said questions from either our incredible listeners like yourself, or we find them roaming the wilds of the internet. And we answer them every Monday and also every month in a bonus episode on Patreon. And today, we're here to talk about catfish the girl I'm really hitting it off with, even though I didn't mean to. Now she wants to meet and I'm panicking. She pulled out a cigarette on a third date and now she's pissed.

Farted? I like him, but he's encouraging me to be. Now, the question does say to be other guys. I assume it's to be with other guys. Maybe not. I guess we'll find out. Yeah. I'm just going to jump right into it.

Okay. This is by Roe Lewandowski. I, 22 year old male catfish the girl, 26 year old female. I'm really hitting it off with even though I didn't even need to. Now she wants to meet and I'm panicking. Help. I've managed to get myself in a very stupid situation. I need genuine advice, especially from the women here on how bad I messed up.

Long story short. Month ago, I started talking this amazing girl on social media. We've been talking every single day since, and the vibe is incredible. We even swapped completely raw, zero-filter morning pictures where nobody looked their best. She knows what my face looks like. Here's where my dumb brain sabotaged me. Objectively, I'm a pretty decent looking guy, 64, 120 KG, been hitting the gym consistently for the last six months.

built up some pretty visible muscle, but because I'm still on my fitness journey, I have some belly fat left. I'm not as lean as my goal weight yet. A few weeks ago, I wanted to show our progress picture. For some entirely brilliant galaxy brain reason, I decided to run the photo through AI to erase my belly fat and make my upper body, chest, waist, look way leaner than I actually am. I ended up sending two different AI other than photos like this. I don't know why I did it.

Insecurity just got the better of me in the moment, and now I regret it so much. Aside from those two photos, I haven't lied to her about anything. But now she wants to meet in person. I'm panicking because I feel like I catfished her, even though the base of the photo is literally me. And my other parts of my body are unedited. I'm terrified when she sees me in person. A difference in leanness is going to be a massive deal breaker and ruined a genuine connection we built. I don't know why I even did this.

I know half women don't care about body looks, but now it's not about my body anymore. How do I handle this? Do I confess before we meet up? Do I show up and hope my height and the rest of my build covers for it? Do I tell her it's an old picture, ladies? If a guy confessed to you before a date, would it be an immediate block or would honestly save it? Guys, if you've ever survived a self-inflicted stumble like this, please tell me how. I appreciate any advice you'll give me.

Now, I almost don't want to help you because you're using AI. You know what? Fuck you. Next question. But here is, here's what I'm going to say. First, it's, this is so dumb to do just a general. Like, what's the point? Also, you're like, oh, I want to send progress pay.

but I will not send any actual progress picks because this is computer made up fantasy land. Yeah, it's like me being like, hey, I want to tell people how the podcast is doing. So I went on Photoshop and I said we'd get a million views every episode. Yeah. But now, now us advertiser wants to advertise with us. Oh no. It's like, yeah, dude. No, Squarespace has finally come calling.

Squarespace is at the door right now and they're looking to see. What to do, man? Yeah. What do we do? the answer for me is simple. You continue to send pictures, but in every picture, you've got a burger and you're like, oh, no.

Or there's like, you have a burger in your hand or there's a burger in the background. You strategically stage fast food objects in every photo and just be like, I'm bulking. You're right, it's bullfix. You're right, but you're wrong. You're right, but you're wrong. Okay.

AI has been doing this for years just to help this poor man, a spaghetti video of you just eating, so much spaghetti. And you don't even need to eat it because that'll set back your goals. You just send her this AI generative video. It's really just Will Smith,

but then you'll be fine. I love that. Spaghetti spagotmy. This is why I'm so mad at AI was when AI first came out, it was Steve Harvey running through the woods, scared and like Blair Witch style

videos. It was Will Smith horribly and terrifyingly gobbling up delicious Italian noodles. And that was like, dumb, dumb generating machine of like no consequence, but people could just do a really stupid fucking thing and get away with it.

Like, sure. Like, you know, but it just had to be like, well, how about we ruin everything? Yeah. How will we take it and just make it bad for everyone in everything?

Yeah. But to the question. Yeah, 100. You know what? Look, I'm going to skip all the fun. Just show up.

I can't imagine it's too different. This is it, right? Like, what's the difference between, like, are you talking, like, average, like, normal sort of, like, nothing really remarkable happening on the body to Chris Hemsworth? Like, did you fucking absolutely go the opposite direction? Or did you just sort of like tighten up a little bit? Yeah, you're dead bod to like Spartan 8 pack or? Yeah, it really depends on how far you've gone, right? Like, if you are like absolutely fucking chiseled in this.

photo, you're fucked. But like, women are no strangers to flattering angles and lighting. And, right? Like, I'm sure this woman has taken many a photo in which she has, you know, twisted her waist to make it look smaller and, you know, pop that knee up to make the butt a little bigger. Like, this is a thing that people have done for a very long time. So for all she knows, you're just flexing, you're sucking, you're, you're squeezing, right? You dehydrated yourself for hours prior. You've just done like a 20 minute pump so you're, you know, a little bulging in the right places. But if you did go so far where it like, it's like a comical almost like national lampoon style, you know, jacked bodybuilder with your face on it, then you're kind of fucked up and you're an idiot. Yeah.

Now, look, AI has gotten to the point where you could probably be like, wait a minute, it just did that. Like you ever get one of those fucking like your phone, you take a picture and it like suddenly like all. alter stings. You're like, oh, a little blurry. Yeah. So it's like, whoa, wait, it did that. I don't know. I think you could get away with it. Should you get away with it? He did said two. Yeah, maybe. Oh, sorry, set the second one to see if it still did that. I don't know. I think the ship said that's a, that's something you got to do immediately. That's an immediate regret kind of thing. Maybe you never chat. Like a week later. Like, oh, hey, I was just scrolling up through our chat to look at my photos. You don't do that? I hate that you're, like, I found a very funny.

that he's like, we shared raw, unedited morning photos and was so, like, blown away and enamored by that. And then was like, now I'm going to share edited live photo. Like, what's the point of you having this moment and having this like intimacy and having this thing and appreciating it? And then taking a shit on it. Yeah, you goofed it. I think if you say, hey, I generated that picture.

I, for me, that's a deal breaker for many reasons. But I also just think like there's levels of lameness and weirdness. and like AI shittery and insecurity and just like everything that would give me the ick immediately if you did it before we met up if we met up and i noticed that you looked slightly different to a photo i don't think i would even really talk about it yeah if we met up and you looked wildly different to a photo i would be uh turn off for me and i think that's where i'm sitting so i think the only way you can really get away with this is if it's not that bad if you haven't edited it that much and i think you just don't say anything about it and you stop doing

dumb shit and you move on with your life. And maybe this becomes a funny story in five years when you move in together. Hopefully we could laugh about this in a couple of years when you're like, I was so nervous and like I was insecure and I really liked you when I did this really dumb thing and I was really scared that you would notice. And like, chance starts you probably like, yeah, man, I fucking knew. Like, AI is good, but like there's tails. How many fingers you got that photo?

True, true. He just has 14 abs. Yeah. He's got two nipple or three nipples. or three nipples. Two nipples. What a freak. Yeah.

Honestly, I think that's your only way forward. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. I think that's it. Or more importantly. You do go the I'm bulking route.

Or when you meeting up in a week? That's seven days worth of gym. That's, you know, what? If you break it up, you gave yourself a rest day. That's 48 hours of crunches.

Give yourself a rest. Another 48 hours of crunches. And then no rest. Another 48 hours. I was a crunches. This is from Orange Island King. She pulled out a cigarette on a third date, and she's somehow pissed that I didn't warn her.

Do I have to constantly warn women that I date every single deal breaker? So I went on this date with a girl. We went for a walk and she pulled out a cigarette and started smoking. She was at least nice enough to offer me one. I said no. Instant deal breaker. The other two dates were indoors, so I guess she never had a chance to smoke before.

At the end of the third date, I told her, we wouldn't work out. She just asked why, and I told her the truth. She got pissed and said, I wasted her fucking time and said, I need to spell out my deal breakers right away. I have like hundreds of deal breakers. Am I supposed to go one by one on the first date? I also have a deal breaker on ex-cons, drug dealers, and only fan creators. Am I supposed to mention all that to someone I barely know? And then in the edit, they do say, oh my God, the hundred deal breakers was hyperbole.

Was it though? Was it though? So like, look, people smoke. I think you saying like, not like a verres smoker or whatever. is a okay thing to do. I think ex-cons and fucking drug dealers is pretty... It's not a shocking one, so I think you'll be fine. And I think you've been weird about only fan creators.

That's my opinion. SexWorks for all work. You need to deal with your fucking shit. But like, look, sometimes something comes up and it blindsides you and you're like, yeah, that's a deal breaker. So, I don't know. Do you have to put not looking for a smoker on your thing? It's no skin off your back.

If you know that's a thing, why not just put it on? there. I mean, I guess it depends, like, every, I guess it depends on who's using the apps correctly and whatever, but like every app that I used had a section where it was like drinking, smoking, drugs, and you could like fill those out. Neither, both. Yeah, occasionally, casually, whatever. No, I will say, I would never date a smoker in terms of like, I wouldn't get into a long relationship with a smoker. I would hook up with a smoker. Yeah, and I have. But I agree. I, like, I don't like cigarettes. I don't like the way they smell. I don't like the way they make people's mouths taste. I, and like anytime I do end up like hooking up with a smoker, I let them know that.

Like I tell them, I'm like, hey, if you're going to smoke before you come in, please have something to remove that situation. It's like, you know, I really don't like it. And some people just don't want to deal with that. Other people know that like they just won't have a cigarette before they come in and they'll have a cigarette when they leave, like whatever. But I've never like. I've never like, I've never told anyone that. Like, I've never been on a date and been like, do you smoke? Because I couldn't. You know, I like, I don't know.

It seems like that's something that kind of like comes up when it comes up. It's the thing. It's okay if it comes up when it comes up, right? Like, I think there's kind of a like an area in between where it's like, if it just comes up, that's fine. And I don't think you should be upset that something you do is a deal breaker for someone. That's just how it shakes out, right? On the flip side, if you 100% know something is a huge deal breaker for you and it's somewhat common. What's the harm

and just getting that out there for your sake and theirs, right? So it's like this person seems to be like vehemently against smoking. So it's like, why not just put on your fucking profile, right? Yeah, that's fine. At the end, like, no smokers, please. Like, don't be. Don't be weird about it. Don't be negative about it. Don't be the shitty person that we, yeah, that we've talked about on Tinder profiles where it's like, will not date this, this,

this or like, don't be, you will not be a this. It's like, it's hard. Tarmouts need to stay away. Like, yeah, you're, you're good. So for me, it's kind of like a gray area here where it's like if you're a smoker, I think you may as well let people know. If you're really against smoking, you probably should let people know. But if shit comes up, shit comes up. Do you need to list all your deal breakers? I think if they're weird or like very like possible, like if your deal breaker is like has to go to church every Sunday or something.

I think that's a pretty possible. Like you'll probably meet people that don't go to church every Sunday. You should probably put that out there just so that you kind of get ahead of the curve. If it's like doesn't murder, you probably don't need that because that's most people's. Yeah. Now, I will say, I want to flip this on the woman, the dater, the smoker. I think you're three dates in. If you're losing your mind because of an incompatibility at that point in time, that's dating, y'all.

That's dating. Anything they just sucked at three dates. After three dates, you could be like, hey, I don't think we're vibing. You know, our first date was okay. second date was okay. But like I'm not really seeing sort of like a need to continue to do this. That's a totally fine thing. And you didn't waste their time.

Like unless you were being malicious or manipulative during those three dates. Unless it was some kind of rom-com ask, like I did this on a dare because your ex wanted me to take you out and waste your time. And I'm unveiling this on date three, which wouldn't be a great dare because that's only three. Like you've only wasted three dates worth of time. That's not even that offensive. That's just like weird, man. Why did you do that? too that. This seems more inconvenient for you. Yeah, the amount of effort that must have gone into this,

you bought dinner. It's actually kind of a win for me. Yeah. Um, so that's like, I think you need to chill the hell out a little bit of being like, they didn't know you smoked and you didn't, I have a hard time believing that this woman didn't show up to their date having a cigarette. You know what mean? Like, chances don't she had a cigarette before she walked into that bar. And like, let's be fair, gum can only do so much. There's a taste. Yeah. There's a smell on the clothes. Like, There's a smell for sure. The fact that he got to three, unless you guys never, like, made out or anything, which is like, sure. I will also say, like, this woman did, she's a smoker and she went through two dates, presumably several hours and never went out for a smoke break.

That's pretty nice, right? Unless she's trying to hide it, actually. So maybe it's not so nice. Yeah, what are you hiding? You should go outside and have a quick cigarette. Check your only fans. Mm-hmm. And sell your cocaine.

Yeah, yeah. And then, you know, talk to your parole officer and get back in here. every date. So you're both kind of wrong on this. I don't know. Just like chill out. Yeah, it's a whole mismanaged. Like it just seems like y'all have never been on a date before and known that like sometimes they don't work out. Like yeah. Also, this is something I've seen a lot currently as well. We spend a lot of time on fucking Reddit and on various online platforms, uh, looking for questions and questions that are interesting, questions that we can talk about. Um, and I've, there's like trends that happen of things that like I end up seeing over and over and over again.

And I don't know if it's just kind of like the that like angel number effect or whatever. It's where it's like, you know, you look at the clock at the same time every day and it just happens because you're now aware of it. But I've been noticing a lot of these things of people being like, you know, went on a date and it wasn't amazing. Is it pointless? I'm like, why? What is wrong with your expectations? What is wrong with your sort of like understanding of reality of being like sometimes you're going to go on a date. and it's not going to be great.

And sometimes you're going to go on a date has to be perfect, dude. You go out and like the fucking angels sing and roses far from the sky. And if that's not the case, what am I doing? It could be a home playing candy crush. It's just dumb because I'm like, you must know that dating is a, dating is an activity, right? Like it's not a, it's not like when you go to the gym. When you go to the gym, you make constant progress, right? Like you're, you're moving.

You're doing a thing. I would say actually going to the gym is very much like date. because sometimes you go and it just didn't go great for no reason, right? Like you're tired that day or like you just don't have the energy. Like I feel like you could go and for no fucking reason like you didn't go out last night. You had a good sleep. You ate a nice lunch and then you get to the gym. You feel like shit versus like some days you get there and you feel good.

And it's like, well, you know, but you still go. It's not like one day you go and you're like, well, I'm not strong. If you're looking like the end goal, right? Your end goal is the journey, the dating in the middle is like, yeah, it can be unpleasant. And it might suck from time to time. But like you're you're going there to like experience things. You're going to the me. Like we talked about this the other day with like first dates and like it's wild to me that

people are so angry about first dates and hate going on first dates. I'm like, this is a fun. It should be fun. You should be having a good time while dating. And you're not going to have a good time in dating. If you expect everyone to like know your deal breakers, everyone to, you know, behave the way you want to behave or like live up to your expectations. I don't know. It's just very strange to me that there seems to be this idea that

like I went on a date and it didn't go well and dating is bad. Okay. Well, sometimes you go to a restaurant and the food sucks or the service sucks. That doesn't mean all restaurants are bad or that you should stop going to restaurants. Sometimes things are off and you don't know why and you'll never understand why, but that doesn't stop you from going to another restaurant. Sometimes you go outside that's fucking raining. Do you stay inside? Like it just take take a breath. Hey, you know what? We're going to take a breath. I'll be right back. Back. Do you see that I'm wearing my silverwack shirt right now? I do. Do you see I'm wearing my pod camp shirt right now? Hell yeah.

I try to explain our relationship with silver wax and it's, it's such a special thing for me. It is powerful. They love us. They're not sponsoring us this week, but they will all be sponsoring me in my heart. Yeah, I do like that, like more advertisers should send us a bunch of shit in barrels. And also, very big t-shirts. Yeah, 100%. You know what I'm going to talk about really quickly is a person who got really upset of us on Instagram a while back and did go through every single one of our videos.

I believe they claimed we were a threat to humanity and they were going to dedicate their life to fighting us and all that. But at one point, they did start claiming that we wrote every question that we got. And I just was thinking about it this week. Or is like, would we have the time? Would we have the time to write so many questions from so many different accounts? All of which are like doing real well. Like if I could get that level engagement on the regular, I'm sure I'd be doing that as a career and not this.

Yeah. As far as I know, we've had only like two recurring like better betch. Yeah. And then I think we had another one that popped up a few times on seduction. And like, other than that, we've been spending years creating these fake accounts. Four to six fake accounts a week. Yeah, I just thought that was really funny. Anyway, here's a question I wish I'd written.

Farted. This is by Mountain Figure 1963. Been dating for a year. He was hitting it from behind and I farted. He said I broke the rules. He got soft. Stopped and we laid down. He fell asleep.

Still up feeling awkward. Does this happen to you? How do you look them in the eyes ever again after? I like the idea that it was like, it was a solemn. How could you do this? You've broken the rules. You broke the rules. And then just immediately just sprawls out on the bed and goes unconscious.

I really want to know what the rules are. Don't fart. We'll hit it from behind. That's it. It's the one and only rule. Then you would say you broke the rule, Dane. That means there's more. I guess maybe don't also poop.

Yeah. The golden pool. Poole. Poole. The golden poo. kind of we're getting there somewhere just guys imagine we did say a very funny joke right there imagine it was real

good guys you can laugh you're in the subway right now you can laugh we're giving you permission and when someone says what are you laughing about you explain it perfectly yeah and then right into us what it was dame will go back edit the joke in the episode it'll put it in we might even credit you we won't we're stealing it yeah

this is I don't I don't get it like I don't understand when people get upset that bodies do body things. Yeah. I can understand that like, you know, it might take you out of it. If it's a particularly bad nauseous, shall we say?

Yeah, I get it. Right? Like, it might ruin the mood. That might just, you might just have to put the, like, you throw in the towel and say, eh, you. Look, I take umbrage with you saying ruin the mood. I think it may change the mood. And what it should change the mood to is a funny mood because

that's fucking funny, man. Right? Like, if you, if this happens, even if it's bad and you have to abandon the act. If your next step is instead of like laughing and like I will say taking your partner's embarrassment into account because I'm sure like you don't want to make them feel bad, which I think a good person would do. However, getting angry at them and like throwing a tantrum is making them feel bad and it's just a lame response to anything. Yeah, it's like it's like when people are like, you know, get upset with quefeing, which is a word I don't like and I wish there was a,

it's a great word. Let's be fair. Another another word I could use, but like calling them vaginal farts also makes me feel bad. Varsin. Varting. It's like it's the body. Yeah. And also sex is a weird thing to do. Like just like when you conceptualize it, it's like I'm almost smash my hips into your hips.

Until one of us makes liquid come out of us. Or maybe both. Right? Like it's it's all a very strange, surreal, sloppy, weird tank. mess and like the best sex I think shouldn't be aesthetically pleasing. It's got to be horrendous. I don't want to like when I'm having sex and I'm in it, I don't want to be thinking about what I look like from an imaginary camera or from like I just want to be so in it that it's

just sex time, right? And the only thing that matters is that me and my partner are having a good time and it feels good. Yeah. Like the only way I could see this being a problem is if for some reason they're farting on purpose. And that's not something you could determine from a once-off incident. If every time it happens, maybe you're going to have a chat. And even then the chat is, you broke the rows and then you have a grumpy, angry nap. It's like, hey, do you not want to do doggy style? Because like,

this keeps happening. And it is kind of like unpleasant. Like, should we do this prior to dinner? Like, what's going on? And like, you can have an adult chat about this if for some reason, either you believe your partner is farting on purpose mid-sex or it's just become an issue. But like you still approach you a kindness. You don't be a fucking baby. Yeah. I really like I want to know if that's the only thing he said. Like it's the only thing he said is you broke the rules.

And then just lied face down into the pillow to slip. Maybe. It's it's weird. It's sad. It's like be bad. Again. The body going to make noises. And sometimes, and honestly, rarely, the body can, you can't control what it's going to do.

Yeah. It's just going to do what it's going to do. Yeah. That's the thing. Hey, let's be real. Did you consider you fucked the fart out of them? It's your fault. You broke the rules.

You broke the rules. You, you mind the fart out. Exactly. You're a little fart miner. And maybe it's a compliment. Maybe it has a compliment. Right? If you did such a good job, the bowel control was momentarily relinquished.

You need to grow up. you're an adult and you need to be, I mean, maybe you need to be less than adult. And as now said, find it fucking funny. Yeah. And just like,

it's, I don't know, it's such a, like, sex should be a silly thing. And like, I know that like sometimes the tense and sometimes it's passionate,

sometimes you're locked in. But I would say, the majority of times, you should be having a good time. It should be a fun occasion. Well, you should also be having a good time if it's passionate and, you know.

But yes. Like, don't let it be too fucking serious. Yeah. I mean, like, I could, I could promise you that the worst sex that I've had or the people who are trying so hard to make it serious and passionate and romantic and whatever. And it's just like, this is what a hard way. Yeah. Yeah. Like, it's as opposed to like. I can see the thought process in your head of like what you're trying to accomplish. And that sucks because I know that you're not paying attention. Like I know. Because it's always like almost an external thing as well, right? It's like, oh, I got to. make sure that I'm upright so I don't have the roles and I do this. And it's like, who are you performing for? It's, it's the same feeling you get when you're talking to someone and you know that they're just

waiting to, to say something. Like, they've, they've stopped listening to what you're saying. Exactly. That's, right? Like, it's,

it's that feeling of being like, okay, I know I'm just going to end my story or end my, whatever I'm saying now because you really want to make a joke or say a thing. It's like, you've lost interest in what I'm saying because what you want to do is more important. Or at least you think it is. And that's how it feels like when you have.

sex with someone who like isn't there for the experience and the fun and the entertainment and the and like the joy of it and rather the like idea of like i'm going to have sex and therefore it's going to be this and it's like you're you're in your mind palace painting your your scene and it's like well okay it usually comes from like insecurity as well insecurity like weird ideas of like the roles of sex in a relationship as well like the fact that like this means so So much. And it's like, well, okay. Like, I'm happy it does for you.

But like, maybe we just dial it back a little bit because, you know, this isn't going to change our lives probably. Be a real big fart. This is from. Soulline X, X, X. I like him. But I think he's encouraging me to be again with other guys or perhaps other guys. I really hope he's encouraging her to be other guys. Which guys do you think?

Hey. Mario. So I was just poking around and found this old Skinwalker diary. You want to maybe go to the woods. Become Greg? Tear our flesh open and reform them into another something. Last Saturday, I went out with a bar with some friends and two co-workers. I got pretty drunk.

I ended up dancing in front of a coworker and we ended up making out. I know he was sober because he was driving that night. I remember telling him I thought he was cute and he said I was cute too. Don't know who initiated the kiss though. We didn't really talk about it much after that. On Monday, he texted me first, asking how my hangover was. We talked about the night and laughed it off. At one point, I joked and said, I can't continue drinking around him anymore because I'll keep pursuing him.

And he replied, let's keep drinking then. I also told him, I'm trying to find out what he's all about and why my friend was obsessed with him. Random fact, he was talking about a friend a while back and I found out randomly. Sorry, he was talking to a friend a while back and I found out randomly. Such a small world. I also said, I do it better. and he said, he's trying to find out. Since then, we kept texting pretty normally.

We joke a lot. Yesterday, we were talking about working out, and he joked about getting buff. I said he was already fit. Then he said he might end up looking like one of my past crushes. He named him and said he was huge. He also brought up another co-worker who used to be into me and had been so persistent with going out with me. Conversation got weird.

After that, stopped replying because I suddenly felt sad, confused. For context, I've actually had a crush on him for a while, but I've never acted on it because he used to talk about girls he was seeing and I also talked about guys I like. So we kept things very casual and friendly at work. I always asked him for guy advice, L.O.L. He also moved apartments, so I haven't seen them and we don't see each other very often anymore. I feel like if a guy was interested, they wouldn't bring up past guys. Feels like he's encouraging me to be with other guys.

I stopped replying to his last message when he brought up the last co-worker who was pursuing me. He said, he's definitely trying. I what I love about this question was one how long it was and also just how I kept waiting for it to get to what I thought would be the problem and instead we did something else and then did a gigantic leap to just I've made this up in my head this is a thing that I have no real evidence about and I am kind of insane also did the exact same thing that I had done yes yes he did what I asked her I asked him about this other girl that he was seeing and talking to and trying to figure out why. And then I said, I did it better than her. And like, and then he did the same thing. And you were like, he wants me to crush other guys. I'm sad now.

Yeah. Like, I think him talking about like the guy of work was either just like, uh, ha, ha, like, I'm better than him or like a jealousy thing or just trying to find more information or whatever or just pointing out while he's into you. But like, that's it. Like, I don't feel like there was a, you should fuck him. Yeah. It seems more like he was matching your energy.

about bringing up someone he was currently or like previously like he I think he was kind of like testing the waters of being like okay so I've cleared up the fact that like you know you were like I do it better and it's like yeah I would like to find that out that's a pretty clear sign of him being like I'm not into her anymore and I would like to pursue continue pursuing this that we're currently doing right now and then he kind of shot fire or like fired back the same energy of being like big buff dude and also the other guy who's really into you. Probably hoping that you go, no, you're way harder than them, much like, you know, or something like that.

And you were like, well, this is weird and sad. Yeah. Like the answer would have been like, oh, you know, I have a new work crush. Something like that, right? Like, that's all you had to say to get him off your back. And then he would have been like, nice. Because he said nothing but shoot you signal flares of, you know what I'm being like, I'm interested.

I would like to date you. I should stop drinking or else I'll keep making out with you. Well, we should keep drinking then. Hmm, I wonder what that could mean. Maybe that you should hook up with other guys. Like, it's so clear and fun and flirty. And then for some reason you've just gone, you know, you know, that like a highway meme where it's like normal conversation, then like weird depression.

Like that's you've swerved and you've swerved down this route for no reason that I can tell. Not a single reason. It makes no sense that why you pivoted. Like I, it's not. even like he was talking about other women. He was talking about dudes you were into. Yeah. So it's not even like he was bringing up like, oh, I don't know if you'll be as good as Sasha. There was none of that. There's no reason to be sad or confused. I think this is one of the few times in which confusion has no role in this conversation. He's made it very clear. He's been so directly and

respectfully flirty, in my opinion. He also didn't seem to say anything weird about this girl who was talking to him. It just kind of came up and he got excited about what she said and they moved on. Like he didn't try to nag you. He didn't try to do anything. He's just being straightforward and flirty and fun. And then you have just turned around. And it's like you were being straightforward and flirty and fun too. And then you weren't. Yeah. So yeah, what's going on here, girl? Did you just sort of like all of a sudden like now you're getting attention from someone you're interested in and and have a crush on and just freak the fuck out because he was returning fire? Like yeah. What's happening? Take a breath.

You're okay. You could not have more green lights in this interaction at all. And he was just doing what you did. And I think testing the waters of being like, are you also interested in these people? You know, where is your stance on this? Without him being like, well, what about this guy? What about this guy? He did it in a fun, flirty way in the exact same fashion that you did.

So he thought, this is okay. If you can do it, I can do it. Presumably. But no, apparently not. If you can do it and I try, we make things up and we just go completely overboard. Yeah. You need to take a breath. And you need to analyze.

And like, again, don't be a hypocrite. If he had just randomly started talking about these guys, I could see you being like, a little strange. I still couldn't see you being like he wants me. They'll fuck him. That is such a wild leap. Like at the very minimum, you could be like, oh, he seems insecure or jealous about. Yes.

Exactly. That I would, I would be like, okay. I get what you're picking up. I don't necessarily believe it based on his confidence and like flirtiness in your other interactions. It seems like he's going after. Given what you've done, right? The fact that you brought it up first. Like so if it was out of nowhere, no context, him doing it.

Yeah. There could be an argument for like insecurity or whatever. But what's happening here? Yeah. You need to take a big deep breath and be like, hey, I don't think he's trying to get me to fuck these guys. In fact, it seems like he's actively trying to get me to fuck him. And it seems like I may also want that, considering I told him point blank, that I do it better than the last girl he was interested in.

Yeah. So maybe just fuck him and try to stop yourself from spiraling for no reason. Or, and this is important, if you don't think you can stop yourself spiraling like this, do not fuck your co-work. Yes. Because let me tell you, girl, from where I'm sitting, it does not look like you should fuck your coworker. In fact, it doesn't look like you should fuck anybody related to anything. important in your life. Yeah, you need to seriously get your shit together if you're going to pursue this because like it seems like you're ready to fucking spiral at the first, like the smallest nudge and you're going down a fucking like

what is it, the Rube Goldberg machine thing or whatever where you're just like you're the marble getting fucking swung around on the weird little bird that's pecking. Yeah, you don't want to do this to your life. You don't want to. So handle your shit or do not

date this person or have sex with them. Yeah. Continue to avoid this man if that's, if that's the goal for his sake and for your sake. Yes. Because I mean, the best thing that's happened to you is that you guys don't work in the same department anymore. Honestly, it's a blessing of disguise. You have a little bit of distance at work. You're not working together all the time.

So it's like you can have your little cheeky trists. You can have your little hookups, your romance, your office romance. But like then kind of when it's work time, you just kind of you're in two different. Yeah. Yeah. It could be a blessing. You just need to handle your shit first. Just relax. Calm down. Go one more?

Yeah, we could probably do one more. This is by Foreign Panda 6764. He groped my breast whilst watching a film on third date. It was the third date. We have kissed before. We were watching a film. His arm was around me. He was touchy-feely, stroking me a bit.

Then proceeded to grope my breast. We were not kissing at the time, just watching the film. It felt a bit like he was taking advantage or greedy or something I don't know. I didn't react to it, so later he did it the second time. Which made me feel a bit weird like he's a sex addict or something. I have one thing on his mind that can't control himself. Certainly not a gentleman anyway. I don't really seem to need to bring it up with him because I'm not going to change someone.

I'd just like to know if this had ever happened to anyone else. Is it considered normal? If not, what does this say about him as a person? Could he not help his intimate language is a bit creepy? Or do you think he knew he was being disrespectful? Oh, fakes. Look, I don't want to discourage or discredit how you felt. If you felt uncomfortable, if you felt like this was an untoward advance, that's something

you need to act on, right? If he does something that you don't like, that's when you move his hand. That's when he say, oh, I don't really like that. That's when you, you know, you get out of that situation or try to navigate that. I don't want to discredit that. If you don't like what someone is doing to you, it doesn't matter how normal or whatever it may be or seem to be. I support you in getting out of that.

I support you in communicating your boundaries. I support, you know, informing people of what you like and you don't like. That is totally cool. But you didn't. You didn't. But I also don't think that what this man is doing is like insane. Granted, I'm assuming, I'm hoping you're at home. Yeah.

So they were at home. They were watching a movie. It was their third date. She did say that like she enjoyed it and was turned on and stuff in the comments and stuff, which again, doesn't negate things. Yes. But just for, you know, like it, yeah, it seems to be like a physical and mental like dissociation there.

But, but I think like what is most important is what you were about to say. So I'll let you keep going. Sorry. So I'll give you context. You're on your third date. You've invited him over or he's invited you over. You've made out before. This is a sort of quote unquote natural progression of physical attraction and sexual attraction.

He was trying to initiate some sort of sexual activity, whether it was heavy petting, whether it was sex, whether it was a makeout session. I don't know. I can't read this dude's mine. But I don't think it's unreasonable to imagine that someone would make a sexual advance on a third date in your own apartment or his apartment. Like you've agreed to come over. The lights are probably low.

Very rarely is it a movie day when you ask someone over to watch a movie. Netflix and chill. It does not mean Netflix and Chill. We know that, right? Yeah, it's a euphemism. It is a code word for coming over and hook. out. And again, if you don't want to, completely fine. I want to really, really stress and reiterate that if you don't like it, then you don't need to do it. You don't, you don't owe anyone anything.

Third date doesn't mean you have to have sex. No, blah, blah, blah. So the thing is consent is obviously key. Consent isn't always just, can I do this? Yes. He tested the waters. He was stroking you. He was like being touchy-feely and you didn't reject that, right? So then he progressed. And you didn't like that, but you also didn't really seem to reject that. And then I guess he also wasn't getting anything. So he kind of stopped and then later on try it again because he was kind of confused. Is it the best way to have gone about it? No.

But why did you not do anything? Like, again, I'm not going to victim blame you here or anything. But I will say to be healthy and safe and in good positions, you need to be able to establish your boundaries. If he's rubbing your arm and you don't like it, just sitting there and letting it happen isn't the play. You grab his hand and move it. You move your body. You tell them, oh, sorry, I just don't want that. Can we watch the movie?

And then that kind of cuts it off before things progress or if it progresses and that's the point when it's not acceptable, then you do the exact same thing. Like, you need to have an active part in this. You can't just expect somebody to read your mind. Yeah. And I understand, like, we're coming from a position where this man is safe and you feel safe, right? Like, there are situations where you may feel unsafe and you may feel like you don't know how to get out of that situation safely.

There are things you can do. You can excuse yourself to the. the bathroom, right, to get you out of the situation. And then so when you sit back down, you can be further away. You can, you can, you can reposition yourself, get yourself a little bit of distance. There are, there are things that you can do. And I understand that like hindsight is easier. And like when you're, you know, adrenaline is spiking. You might freeze. Like that is a response that happens to people. But as someone who's dating and going over to people's houses, you need to sort of be prepared and like know what your limits are. And if you are completely

uncomfortable with not wanting to have sex or not wanting to progress. That might be, I know we kind of, you know, worn against telling people like, I'm not doing this or I won't do this. But there's no harm in like when you're opening the door to the possibility of furthering your sexual relationship with someone to just say, hey, I would like to go slow tonight or I would like to, you know, really kind of temper expectations. Like, let's just hang out and see what happens or or, you know, like find a way to communicate that maybe you don't want to have sex tonight. or you don't want to, like, take a little bit more of a active participant role in it. And that way, if this dude is an asshole and is only coming over to fuck you and is going to be shitty about it,

hopefully if that's, if that's his goal and you're like, I would like to, you know, just take it slow and not have any expectations or blah, blah, blah, blah. And he's like, well, what's the point? It's take three, blah, blah, blah, blah. Hopefully he'll just fuck off and then you've, it might hurt your feelings a little bit, but you've saved yourself some trouble. Yeah. Especially if you're uncomfortable communicating in the moment. And like, unfortunately, I think you need, you owe it to yourself to be able to do those things. And if you can't, maybe you need to either not date until you can or go to safer environments where you're like, if you're in public at least, somebody probably won't do something like this or something like that.

Because like, this isn't the kind of thing you just get to not do. You can't just be like, I'm not taking part in my half of the consent. I'm not taking part in my half of the communication. And again, not to say every situation means you're going to be able and willing and equipped to be able to do that. But it's like in a low stakes place like this where presumably you're comfortable with this man because you invited them over and you don't seem to be too upset in terms of a safety manner. You do need to be able to stand up for yourself. Right. And it's I think.

Sorry. Well, it's just like if the comments are to be believed, like if you are saying I liked it, it turned me on. like that was kind of the point, right? Like that was what he was trying to do. He was trying to arouse you. He was trying to escalate sexual tension. He was trying to, you know, initiate some sort of physical contact with you. And he was successful.

He did the things that he, you know, that should, you know, if you liked it and you were turned on. Not to say, again, that that opens the door to carte blanche or whatever. But what is, I think you need to investigate like what you're looking for. Well, what your relationship is. with these feelings of being like, oh, he was doing a thing that I liked that aroused me. He must be not a gentleman and a pervert. That's exactly it. One of their comments is it wasn't that I didn't like it.

I just got worried about what it said about him. And like he's doing a fairly normal thing. Like as Dane said, it is the kind of next natural progression. Again, not to say at any point that that means it's allowed to happen or whatever. But it's like you guys have been making out. You're at home. You're cuddled up. He was just trying to go a little further.

Does that mean he's greedy? that's the weirdest term to use in this in this situation. Not a gentleman. I don't know. It feels like he tried, got confused, tried again. And like he didn't push it. And wasn't weird. Could he have communicated better?

Sure. But also so could you have. So I don't necessarily see that he ended. Yeah. I don't know. Right? Like did the movie end and you're just like, okay, it is time to go.

Probably. You left or kicked him out. Like what's happened? Did you sleep together? Did you finally? In your mind, is it just like movie finish? And then we can make out. And then we can do things.

But like, first we need to, I need to see your gentlemanly patience. And if you can last the whole duration of the movie before you make a move, I just, I want you to investigate and check in with yourself and try to correlate why you think that someone doing something that feels good that you enjoy that turns you on also equates them being a bad person. Yeah. And like, not a gentleman, a sex addict, which is wild and greedy. Also, I will say she's 33, he's 40.

Yeah. Yeah. You got to learn to communicate. And I do think you've got to get your mind right about things like this because this isn't a wild thing to want. So the fact that you seem absolutely flabbergasted that he might want to touch your breasts and that this might make him a greedy pervert is, is I think a U issue. Yeah. I would also like, I would maybe sit down and think about like how the perfect night would have gone. Right.

Like how would this have happened? right like how would he like if you want to be turned on and you want to be aroused and you want to do have someone do something nice that feels good how would he initiate it otherwise like what is the the correct steps in your brain chain of events of being like you know is it him literally saying i would like to touch you i would like to have sex with you i would like to you know can we make out like do you need a little bit more verbal communication a verbal check in and verbal consent is that what you need? Like, what is the, I would like to know, like, what the, the steps that would have made this a perfect date that would have made him a gentleman. Like, what, what does he need to do in order

to, because something tells me you're not going to be the one to initiate. Yeah. Based on, on how you've talked about sex previously. I get the sense that, like, you're, you're not the one who's going to be like, now it's time. Yeah. What steps does he need to take in order to be a gentleman in your mind or not a sex pervert? Like, what? Breedy sex pervert. A greedy sex pervert. What is it that he needs to do and just, you know, communicate to you to follow the steps that are in your mind? Because as Nile said, he can't read your mind. He doesn't know.

So if you have a very specific thing that you need done, that might be something worth telling someone you are sexually attracted to and want to be aroused by. Right. If you have to tell him like, hey, you know, the way I like to approach sex is a little slower, a little more direct. I would like you to, you know, sort of talk to me or tell me or whatever. And I will then give you the either yes or no, and then we can go from there. Or is it just like it's date three and you think date three is too early to have sex and therefore this man is a greedy pervert? Like what is the what's the block in your mind and how should it have gone? That's what I'm really curious about.

Like I would love to know what this perfect night would have looked like in her mind if she could like design the date as it, you know, as she would have wanted it to go. And I kind of think she doesn't know. That's kind of the vibe I'm getting. Because it seems like, again, when someone's like, I really like that and turn me on, but then also equate that to, you know, maliciousness. Yeah, yeah. It seems like, and again, I really want to stress that I understand that there are times where you can be turned on and things could feel good and you don't want them. Yes. And that is fine.

Not what we're saying. I think that's not what we're talking about. The main disconnect here comes from like a very normal thing somebody might want, which is to touch a boob on date three when you're watching a movie, being equated. with like how dare like what the hell is happening here generously yeah this is so out of left field and i think it's like that like disconnect from how things made very naturally go is i think the main problem here you know yeah um that's gonna be it for us today this week this monday thank you for coming it was a pleasure to have you he said sincerely uh for real uh we love when you guys come by if you can please consider joining our patreon supporting the podcast you get an extra episode every month

and all the previous extra episodes, some of which are just unhinged in the best way. You will be able to support us, keep our lights on. And if you don't want to throw us actual money, you can always support us by finding us on YouTube, Instagram, not TikTok anymore because I think we're banned.

But wherever we are, comment, like, share, subscribe, review, send us to a friend. And if you have a little venue, if you're Toronto local,

and you're like, hey, this is a great place for the fuck buddies to come and play a show. We would love that too. Yeah, talk to the venue. Talk to our live shows have always been incredibly fun and we want to get back to them. So, long as to know. Yeah, we miss doing them. Yeah. You guys are great. Are you ready for some bad sex writing after I thank Josh Eagle in the harvest seeds for the song Paper Stars? Yeah. This is a post by Drake. No. Reasons why I'm single. One, I'm a massive overthinker. Two, I care too deeply. Three, I'm a be safe type of guy. Missed when you get home. Have a good night type guy. Four, I have so much energy. Five. I give my all to people who don't give me half back.

Six. I would do anything to make someone happy, even if it means I get hurt in the process. Seven, I need reassurance all the time. Eight, I'll push you away when I feel like the energy isn't reciprocated. Nine, out of old school romance. And that's just not a thing for our generation. Man, Drake sucks. How many ever become famous?

Like, it sucks. I don't know. Like, look at this loser-ass shit. Yeah. It's like, we have the weekend, right? Like, again, I don't know too much about the weekends. politics or his personal life or whatever, but like his music's way fucking better. And he seems cool.

There's just, it's like he's in a competition to have the most lame post out there. And every couple of years, he's like, shit, I'm falling behind. And then he just like, what the fuck is this list, bro? It's just another vindication of being like Kendrick was right. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe you're single because, well, I won't repeat that. I will end that sentence unless we get sued.

But you know, and if you don't go listen to a Kendrick song about it. Yeah. My name's Day Miller. Me, not like them. They not like us? No. We've been your folk buddies.