F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Just Be Normal

Episode Date: August 17, 2026

It's not hard, guys. Just be normal. Just don't do anything weird. Topics include bringing your own ball, letting people know you're ready to date, break up regret, too intense or just scared of attention.Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello friends. My name is Dave Miller. And I'm Nile Spain. And we're your fuck buddies. We're a sex and dating advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy, sexy, sexy, sexy, sexy situations. Perfect. We find questions either online and from our wonderful listeners, and we answer them right here, right now, every Monday in your ears, and once a month extra on Patreon, where you should join us, help support the show and stop us from going poor. Whoa. Yeah. It was intense. We're getting right into it. And you know what else we're getting right into? What we're talking about this week, which is going to be, took a girl. on the bowling date. Is it weird if I brought my own ball? How do you actually let

know people you're, how do you actually let people know you're looking for a relationship? Broke up with a guy feeling regret. Is he being too intense or am I just scared? This is by. I'm going to be very up front with you right now. I open those, I have not read those questions. I have just pulled them because the document in which I usually put my questions

didn't copy them over from my laptop for some reason. Cool. So I panicked and I've just pulled two questions that seem like something we could probably talk about. Damn, damn. Well, one of our, one of my questions is, I think we'll see. It's not really the question we're going to be answering. It's going to be the situation we're going to be dissecting. And another question, it's a, I couldn't say it because if I want to clip what we're doing this week, I think it would get us taken down. Okay, cool. Yeah.

Which isn't that bad. I just think like, oh, by the way, guys, we're officially, I think, banned on TikTok. They will not. We did it. We just, we get no views. Nobody will come. Every video I post, I'm not even allowed share. it. So TikTok has just decided we're too fucking cool for them. We're just too cool. I get it. They're like, fuck, that positivity that is going to get in the way of our messaging. So you want some toxic shit? You can still go there and find it. Don't worry. You want us? Get to go to our boy Instagram or our boy YouTube. Yeah. Because I'm no longer posting there. I've given up. There's no point in posting a video if I've got two views. Now hates TikTok. This is the episode where now's just going to go off on TikTok. I haven't opened TikTok in a very long time. I sent you some peak Marvel rivals memes. Okay. Okay, you ready? This is by Et Hornet. If I took a girl on a bowling date, it would be bad if I brought my own ball? I know bowling dates are frowned upon for a first date, but after that they're good. I bowled in high school. I have my own ball and shoes.

If I showed up a girl's door or met her at the alley with my own ball bag in hand, would that be bad? Edit, not for a first date. Probably wouldn't go bowling until third date. Edit two, I'm in college. High school was recent. I do not consider myself to a peaked in high school. Just bowling's the only sport I've played for a good chunk of my life. I'm assuming that is in return, like a comment, like people have been like, don't relive your glory days, which is weird, I think. The whole, we would never go on a first date to bowling. Is weird? Is that a thing?

I've never heard that, right? Yeah. And being like, oh, bowling first date, no. Yeah. That sounds like a great date. I'm not going on a first date, bowling date. That's crazy. I think that's a fun day.

A great first date. You get to have fun. You're talking, you're chatting. You're, yeah, you can't fucking, beats dinner in a movie. For sure. And butts. Yeah.

And also, they get up. It's like when they always say, go get hot dogs for your first day because it's fallic and sexual. Think of it. This is just the female version of hot dogs. You're putting your fingers in those balls. And it's balls.

And it's balls. Hey, you think this bowling alley isn't serving hot dogs? Exactly. You got everything. A bull in first aid is, it's, like you can get up,

you can high five. They hit a strike. Boom. You know what I mean? like there's physical contact. It's got everything you need. Oh, you ran other things to talk about, but then all of a sudden,

a weird video of a dinosaur chasing a bowling pin into a volcano, and the volcano spits out balls of fire, but the balls of fire are bowling balls, and then it says three out of ten. Perfect. Now you talk about that. Yeah.

I don't think it's 10. I don't know why you're so weird about first eight bowling, but that's crazy. You're wrong. Yeah. I mean, like, again, I think the only thing I wouldn't do

at a first date is dinner and a movie. It sucks. Dinner and the movie sucks. Bowling, great. So don't worry about that. You're fine. Relax. I do think that showing up with a, here's the optics I think is bad with showing up to an alley with a bowling ball.

It says that you're going to beat their ass at bowling. Oh, 100%. That's the thing. I know from this question, you're not coming to play. You're coming to fucking deliver. Here's the other thing. Yes. Continue.

Sorry. I think part of your game is like, I'm a show her how six. see I am a bowling. And I don't know if that's going to work, especially because you're not like, hey, come to my sick bowling contest and watch me dominate. It's going to be like, I'm bullying you through the medium of bowling so that you think I'm hot, which like, I don't know if it's ever going to work, let alone when you're beating their ass. On the flip side, there is an onus on you to beat their ass, right? Like, if you're just okay at bowling, it's so fucking, why do you have your own shoes? What do you have your own fucking ball? If you're all right, right? Like, so you have to go

in there and fucking like bowl a perfect game. You need be getting strikes. Yeah. Constantly. Yeah. That's the thing. If you show up and you beat her ass, she's going to be sad and that's a bad date. If you show up and you don't beat her ass, you're sad. Yeah. Also, if you're, look, if you're seeing those fucking dinosaurs getting extinct

from the bowling balls, you're doing a bad job. It should be a fucking, you know, a gunman shooting all the pins down. Yes. 100%. Now, Dane, our director is, he's doing this, but I got to say what I got to say. And I know I'm going to alienate a lot of bowling fans. What would we call the sport? Hey, if golf is a sport,

bowling is a sport. We'd call golf a sport. At least golf's outside. Yeah. But I mean, if that's your, if that's your metric, there's a lot of indoor sports. Yeah, but they're undeniably sports. I think, I think bowling has more physical requirement than most other. Like, you know, you're picking up a heavy thing. I and eye coordination. Like, it has all of the, all the necessary ingredients for a sport. So yeah, I'm not going to. There was a, hey, that was a. Hey, that was a trap. That was a trick. I agree. And I'm not saying that because our producer is pointing a gun at me and also holding up a stat sheet noting that like a lot of bowlers listen to this. Yeah. This is what people listen to when they're at the bowling alley. They put their headphones in, listen to their fuck buddies episode. Fucking just whip some balls. Have we talked about how I bowl? No, no. And that's, I think, the caveat to what I were saying earlier. If you bring your own ball, but then you bowl like Dane, you're back in. Actually, I do think we have talked about this because my partner has specifically said that she will not bowl with me because it sounds scary.

It is scary. Dane Bulls in the harder is better school of thought. Not harder, faster. Well, faster, harder, harder, better, faster, stronger. Harder sounds like I'm like throwing the ball. You are. I'm, yes, but I'm trying to get it to go as fast as possible. And now I'm going to test this.

It is a strategy that works because it. it goes so fast it bounces out of the gutter. Yes, yes. Dane has done the impossible where he's gone so hard and fast that he will bounce the ball back out of the gutter, which takes the pins by surprise. They're not expecting it. Yeah, because it's going in the gutter no matter what happens when I throw it, right? I'm a bad bowler.

But if he does it fast, maybe it come back out. And there's a big number at the end of the lane that tells me how fast I threw. Yeah. I'm genuinely surprised we didn't get kicked out of this fucking Dave and Busters. I'm also shocked, but I guess. when they see it and it's like, I'm not breaking anything. And I am hitting the pins. So what are you going to say? You can't do that.

You can't bowl? Yeah, they look at two mischievous guys and they go, well, I'm have their fun. They need this. Also, it's America. Yeah, they're like, they're not shooting the points. Yeah. I think you gotta not do this, right?

Because I think you're trying to flex. And I don't think it's a flex. I'm sorry. I don't think she's going to be like, oh my God, guys, I went out for a date with George last night. And he fucking, he had his own ball and his own shoes. And they were so good. And he fucking beat my ass and fucking bowling.

And I had a terrible. I mean, I had a great time just getting absolutely slammed by this man. No. At the alley. At the alley. Yes. Not sexually. Yeah.

He can't have sex with me after that because he just put all his energy into. He's come too much while bowling. Every strike he gets, he just absolutely releases. I think you need to have fun together. And I think you would be. It's almost like you're in a different room doing a different activity. If you go and you're this good and this professional bowling and they're just a normal person. I don't think they're going to enjoy it.

And I think what you're aiming for is showing them how impressive you are. And no offense, it's bowling. Unless you have a really cool fucking ball. Like, unless your ball kicks ass and you have just like the Air Jordans of bowling shoes, then like maybe. But I agree with now where it's like anytime you go to a niche thing that isn't regarded as cool kind of universally. I think doubling down and being like, oh, we went to a board game cafe, but I did bring my own chess board because I'm a chess nerd. I don't think is as cool as you think it is, right? I don't think there's anything wrong with if you guys, if bowling becomes a part of your relationship, or even just on that date, be like, you know, I actually bowled in high school and I have my own ball and have my own shoes.

Like, that's how much I like bowling. I think that's perfectly fine information. I don't think you have to hide it. No, but I think if you're the one pushing bowling, she needs to know this long before. I think she does. I can't imagine that like bowling has come up and you haven't. Like I hope the plot has been, tell me something about yourself. Oh, I used to bowl in high school.

I love bowling. What we should go bowling? Like, I hope that's the. If that's the case, then who cares if you bring your ball? And why don't you just tell her, be like, I'm actually so into bowling that I have my own ball and shoes. Ha, ha, ha. Yes. And then they'll probably be like, hell yeah, or what the fuck.

But like, I don't know. I don't think that's what's happening here because if it was, the question will be answered. I think you know, I'm just worried that like, you know you're really intense about bowling and you're trying to get, you're trying to trick us into saying it's okay and it's not. I like at the end of the day, I don't think you should hide who you are about and what you're passionate about. But I don't think you need to think that everything you're passionate about is cool or other people regard it as a cool thing, right? I don't go or I wasn't going on dates and being like my level 16 brawler can do eight attacks in one turn. But like this will be the equivalent of like because one, I think he is hiding what he's into so that he can dramatically reveal it on this date. Right.

I genuinely think that this is his play. Like I'm so good at bowling. Women like people are good at things. I'm going to impress her with my sick bowling gear and my bowling skills and my whatever. But it would be like the equivalent of you being like, oh, let's go out for a date. And then you take them to a D&D bar and throw them a level one character sheet while you're level 20 and like don't teach her the rules. Right. So it's like your turn comes around.

You're like, fuck you. I kill everything. And it's their turn. Like I do one damage and you're like, I'm an eye cool. You know? I think that's what's happening here. So if you guys have talked about this, if she is fully aware that you are a super bowler and you want to bring your your ball and shoes, I don't think it's weird because you already have talked about it. Right.

If you're withholding this information, why? And I think that's what you really got to look at yourself and think. Like, if she knows, she knows. If she doesn't know, why doesn't she know? And I don't think beating someone's ass is fun for them necessarily. Yeah. I mean, like, the only thing I, like, the only time I think this is okay is if it's pool, because then you could do the sexy, like lean over the shoulder and show them how to shoot.

But even then, it's like if you organize a pool date because you're really, really good at pool and they don't know. And then you show up to beat their ass. I don't think that's fun. It is for me. I'm able to beat someone. That's why this bowling man wants to do this. Yeah. You don't.

Don't do it. This is from, are you excited? Because this is going to be the first time I've read this question as well. This is from Mind versus Heart. How do you actually let people know you're looking for a relationship slash to date and how to actually initiate the conversation in that direction? I'm going to, I assume, events. I'm going to events.

And I'm at them at like every month at a bar, constantly meet the same people. and new people. Even though I'm an introvert, I've been very social. That's how that works, I guess. I am an introvert. And I've been very social over the last few years.

I'm getting better and starting to enjoy it. People are happy to see me. They genuinely enjoy and like having me around. Even ask where I've been if I don't join or had to skip on one of the events or gatherings. Even in my brain, sometimes I still stress to convince me

of the opposite. I seem to actually be pretty good at form and connections and friendships if I managed to get into a conversation with someone. Just how exactly do you go further from there. Sure, those events and those gatherings aren't specifically aimed towards people looking for relationships, but multiple

times has happened before that people found together, or found themselves together at them. As much as I wish I could approach a table with who of you fuckers is single and interested, I'm going on a date with me. I'm not bold enough in person to do it via text is more

likely, nor do I think I do have the presence or personality for it to actually pull something like that off. It would probably just come across awkward and slightly desperate. attempt. Man, I can't wait to talk about that. And while I have mostly accepted that I have to be, I might be single forever, I still don't really want to give up hope and try to see if I can be in a relationship before I turn 30. I just seem to have no idea how to approach this. People always say to get out there and meet people, go to bars, go to events, talk to strangers, etc., which I'm literally doing. I'm

forming close connections, everything. I just don't know what step I'm actually missing. It doesn't feel like I'm doing something wrong. That's it. I love this question because they're like, I walk over to a table and just say, who's single wants to fucking date me or I give up forever. That's it. Those are the two options. What are you doing? Also, at no point does it seem like there's anyone

they want to date? Because I think that's fucking, that's fucking step one is like, oh, do you like ex person? Cool, we can build from there. If you're just like, I don't know, should I see if someone wants to date me? And like, just put a sign up in the room,

like, want to date me? That's not how it works. Not even a sign. You get on a megaphone and yell at people about it. Yeah. Surely, you know, these aren't the only options of being like, well, I don't have the personality or charisma to go up and yell, hey, motherfuckers. Aren't you single? Want to date me?

It's like, hey, you know who does have that charisma? Pretty much no one. Like, you gotta be fucking Chris Evans, you know, to pull that shit up. Why would you have that charisma and also the desperation to not choose someone and rather just be like, open call? Yeah, I'm gonna walk up to a group of strangers who I've never talked to before and just be like, who's dating me? Yeah. What are you idiots is dating me? Right?

You're just picking whoever says yes and then, I don't know, see if it works. Like, what do you do? In case, step one. You find someone you're attracted to, be it physically, personality, preferably both. And then when you talk to them and things go well, you say, hey, you want to go get a drink sometime? Or you want to go get a coffee or whatever? And doing that over text is fine, right? Like, if you're a little nervous, I don't think if the only time you see these people is like once a month of these events, I don't think there's any harm.

And like, you don't have to wait until the next month. Yeah. Ask them out in person, right? Like, if the groundwork is there, like you chatted that one event and you have their number. Boom. Yeah. Text them out. Like, I get it.

Look, asking people out is hard, especially if you're in a room full of people because then you're like, oh, I just asked them out and I got rejected. And now I'm going to feel fucking weird. Like, that's a little embarrassing. And then Dave's like, yeah, let's all go. And you're like, yeah. Look, I get it. I don't think I would be going to these events and asking people out in person unless I, like really vived with someone.

And as we were leaving, I was like, hey, let's grab a drink next week. But I wouldn't be going and like asking people on mass. But yeah, you connect with someone as it seems like you have been, which is great. The fact that you're going out and you're like, I'm introverted and I started going to these events and helping at these events and meeting people and making connections. That's incredible. It's amazing. 90% of the hardest thing to do, right? Like 90% of the questions that we get that are like this are like, I go to events and I don't meet anyone.

I go to events and I don't know how to talk to anyone. And I go to events and I don't. Yeah. But it's like you seem to be enjoying them. People seem to be enjoying you. That's the, yeah. Which is, that's 90% of the work is done now. So as now said, if there's someone you're into, which I assume you just haven't mentioned,

I assume these people you're making connections with, I'm hoping you're interested in. I don't know. You're being weird in the question. Yeah. You're freaking me out. It seems like you don't get it on a fundamental level. And that's a little strange to me. If you are meeting people and you're like, hey, we really connect and I really like you and

I'm attracted to you. Then yes, get their number. And then send them a text and be like, I really enjoyed chatting with you at that event. Would you like to grab a drink with me? And I would hope most people would understand that as you asking them out on a date. If you're concerned that they're not going to get that, say it's a date, right? That's what you're asking.

You're asking someone on a date. It doesn't do you any favors because this is something I'm always like, people are always like really nervous to ask someone out on date. But I'm like, that's what you're doing, though. So why would you put yourself in a position and then being like, oh, I don't know if they know it's a date? I hope they maybe they think you're just hanging out. It's like, well, then don't just avoid that. Be like, hey, would you like to go on a date with me? We can go here, have drinks.

I would say, have a plan. Always a great way to do it, right? Don't just say, hey, we should get together sometime. We should have to hang out sometime. Say, hey, when are you free next week? I would love to go to this bar or this place or whatever, going bowling and would you like to come? Which like to go on a date with me?

Yeah, boom, there you go. And like, sure, they may say no. But you know what? They're going to be like, wow, person wants to go on a date with me. That's awesome. So like worst case scenario, they're still going to be a little flattered and chuffed. So it doesn't really matter. Now, the thing is, if every single person you find, you're slowly just going through and asking out on dates, I think people are going to start to be like, oh, this girl or guy, I actually don't know.

I'm not sure who this person, I don't think they give a, be a little weird. And I feel like they're just going through the Rolodex of people who are here on nights out and asking them out. So it's like, my worry is you're not going to be picky because you seem to want to just shotgun approach this to the entire room. on mass. So ask people out that you actually want to see because that'll work better for you in every way. Because if they say yes, that's good. And if they say no, then at least you did what you wanted to do. And you're not just like hail marrying every single person in the building. Yeah. Yeah. But that's it. You need to be specific. You need to have a direction and you need to find someone you like because like the point of going on dates isn't to be going on dates. The point

going on dates is to be going on dates with someone you like. Yeah. And you're going to shit time if you end up on a date with someone you don't like. And then you're going to be like, dating sucks. Like you just, I don't understand why that hasn't been discussed here. And I'm hoping it's because it's so obvious that you're being flippant. I don't know. Find a person. My hope is, yeah, is that like you're just skipping over the obvious stuff.

But then it does seem to be like you're missing the obvious stuff. So it's hard to say. We've done this podcast long enough to know that it is highly likely that you are. Especially when you're like, I couldn't possibly yell at people to date me. What else could I do? Yeah. So find something you like, text. It's that easy.

And be clear. Say date. This is my glittering ticket 31. Broke up with a guy feeling regret. So I, female 28, went on a date with a guy, male 30. It was a really nice date. We hit it off. However, a week went by without receiving another invitation to go out.

I hinted at it. I suggest a few things working out together, going for coffee, which he flat out ignored. Now on Tuesday, he ignored me during the whole day, then text me on the evening, then deleted the messages. That plus the way he treated certain things I shared. when he mentioned something about getting me pregnant. I told him, as a joke, no ring, no baby. And he told what he said was just a comment. Still, mine was also just a comment.

When I mentioned I wanted to get married, he said something like, we all want things, which felt a bit dismissive. Mind you on our first conversation through text, he told me his dream was to get married in church, which I didn't dismiss. Well, looking at all this, I decided to go ahead and break things off. However, I'm feeling regret. Like, maybe I should be more patient or something.

But, like, I shouldn't have felt like that this early on in the relationship. Honestly, just looking for advice about how I feel my decision. What the hell? What the hell are you talking about? This, it feels like you accepted a random, like, faceless Instagram accounts DM and are like, I'm dating this man now, despite the fact that he says nonsense. And I'm also saying nonsense. Like, are you just two fucking chatbots talking to each other?

Yeah. The reason I brought this question up is because it hurt me to read. And I was just like, what the fuck? Like, why would you be like, I went on one date. We did not get on. been ignoring me, everything's bad, broke up with him. I regret it. Help. Yeah. He has made weird comments about making me pregnant. But also, it doesn't seem like she's about getting married, but he also wants upset about the baby comment. She's just saying, oh, we have to get married first.

To this person, I don't like. Yeah. Yeah. Girl, the cool thing about this is you can go, what? I just don't think there is a cool thing. No, the cool thing is you go, oh, no, I feel bad about this relationship and then I go, cool, what good things about it are you now lacking? And we go through the list, there is none. It could have been those deleted messages. Maybe those were the, maybe those wild move. I would love to know what they said. I mean, that's it, right? It's like, you didn't ask. I don't know, man. It's crazy. It's crazy to send messages because she says plural. Delete them and then just not say anything else about it. That's crazy. What are you missing out on? What do you regret? You'll find someone normal and while you're at it, be normal.

Yeah. Just everyone, be normal. Yeah, that's it. That's the episode. That's it. Be normal. Be normal. We are going to take a quick little break and then we'll be back.

More normal than ever. We're back. Hello. Hi. Hello, friend. We're so normal. How is your day today? Would you like to go bowling on a third date?

Yes. Right after I listen to Netflix and pop music. Oh, man. I watched a movie on Netflix yesterday and it was so fucking bad. Yeah, they all are. I just, I don't understand how movies are so bad. Because no one fucking likes writers. That's why.

Well, I mean, I know why it just sucks that like all these like Netflix shows are now like, oh, they're not meant to be watched. They're meant to be listened to. No one wants to watch movies anymore. No one wants to watch shows anymore. So they do have to constantly explain the plot out loud to people so that if you're doing laundry, you know what's happening. Which is just horrific. It sucks.

This has nothing to do with the show. No. I just felt like it was important for me to say that out loud. I don't hit you another question because that one was small. Yeah. Ooh, you get choice. One is the one I couldn't mention earlier and one is about Apex Legends. Fuck.

That sucks. Let's do Apex Legends. Okay. This is Am I Bad for Not Wanting to Date a Cheater? But it's not the way you think. I, Female 21, have been texting this guy, male 21 for a couple days. So they were texting. He mentions playing Apex.

I'm excited because that's my game. I love Apex. as you can see in the texts and there were texts but we don't need to go through them. He said he was going to sit in the firing range and fix his cheats. I'm like, there's no way he cheats on video games. So I'm confused. I call him and he mansplains what his cheating is and blah, blah, blah. I'm not feeling because the entire phone call he's trying to justify cheating because it's fun.

I'm not arguing on the phone. I'm like, okay, cool, but at the end of the day, it's still cheating. That's weird to me, but okay. From he explains, you're tricking your console to think you're still using a controller, but you're on mouse and keyboard, but able to have no recoil and also aim a sense. He goes into the history of how this cheating isn't even that bad. I'm not like cheaters in any capacity, so it weirds me out. And I think it's odd to go out of your way to cheat on a video game.

Maybe I'm wrong for caring so much, but it's literally just a video game. Why cheat? So go off the phone, text him for 15 minutes after the phone call. I guess he really wants to argue. Should have blocked him, but I didn't. Wish I did. My way of thinking is maybe extreme. If you can cheat on a game, what else can you cheat on?

Obviously, he took offense to that. Again, should I just blocked him instead of going back and forth. He obviously just wanted to argue, get under my skin, because I didn't want to talk to him anymore. Then he brings up my ex and ouch. Maybe I was wrong for caring so much he cheats a video game, but also why cheat? You should have just blocked him immediately after the phone call. I'm a loser that ghost people. Yes, I've been

cheated on before. By a gamer nonetheless. No, I'm not karma farming. Yes, I'm in therapy and on meds. Basically, that's that's it. I don't know if we need that information, but I mean, like, I guess the cheating, the past of cheating is... I think it was just they were being called out in the comments and I also was just reading what I thought

might have been relevant. Which is crazy because it seems like they would be, If that's the comments you're making, it seems like the comments are against you, which is the opposite typically of what fucking dating Reddit is like where it's like, he's cheating on you. Everything is bad. Everyone is cheating on you. Dump home. He doesn't respect you. But it is in keeping with what dating Reddit comments usually are, which is the worst takes imaginable. True. Look, girl, it was a girl. Yes? Yes. I'd say, yeah. You are 100% in the right. And not just like, I don't necessarily know if cheating in a video game means that you're going to cheat on your partner or whatever, right? But here's what I do know. Cheating in a video game's fucking weird and loser behavior. Because if I'm playing a game, right? It's like when you go to, like when we go to barcades or whatever and the games are on free play and you're playing like Ninja Turtles or the or the X-Men beat them up games or whatever. And you have infinite lives. It's not fun. No, because there's no point. I don't have to worry about it. So I could just fuck a. around and now I'm just pressing the same button forever until I win. Yeah.

And that's not a game. That sucks. Imagine like if you're playing monopoly and every time you land on a fucking board or like a person's property, you just don't give them money. But what's the point? Yeah. What's the fucking point? And now imagine that, but you're also playing against real people who do have to give money.

And it's like, that's the thing. I think it's totally fair to be like, oh, this is your idea of having fun is sitting at home cheating and like beating other people. people online. And they're ruining other people's experiences. Yeah. Yeah. That's the joy for you.

Expense of other people, which sucks. And it has to be solely at the expense of other people because there is no other point because you're not getting anything out of the game other than that because you're not playing it. And I think, yeah, that's indicative of someone's character. And like, I can't imagine being like, hey, babe, what did you do today? I'm just like, I cheated all day on apex and I beat all these people actually playing. I'd be like, that's pathetic.

Yeah. It literally doesn't make any sense to me how that could be fun. Like, look, I get it. Putting on an invincibility, like, cheat on, like, Grand Theft Auto and just running around and being absolute, like, chaos in your single player game, go for it, man. I don't give a shit. Do it even one. Put in infinite money. Like, I think that would get very old, very quick.

Yeah. I mean, like, I don't think it's got long-term legs or whatever. But, like, if you want to just blow off steam and be invincible in a game where you just fuck around, sure. But, like, to go on and purposely ruin other people's experiences and know. that you're doing it because that's that's the only option there is in this game is being like, oh, I'm going to beat that person who is another human being unfairly without any chance of them like having, you know what I mean? Like they're playing with skill and and you know, whatever and I'm not. Yeah, that is indicative of a character flaw in my opinion. 100%. Yeah. I genuinely think it's

sad and weird. It's a loser behavior. Do I think it means they'll cheat on you in a relationship? I don't know. But I don't think it matters because it's just like this person. is kind of a fucking loser. Yeah, because what it tells me of a personality is that, like, they will always put themselves above others, right? Like,

the lack of empathy, it shows to do that. And it might be a stretch to be like, they're unempathetic. But, like, I think it does translate into other aspects of life, of being like,

I, me first and other people, it doesn't matter. Like, I'm happy to ruin other people's experiences. These are people who play music on their speakers on a bus. Yeah. it just feels shit.

Like you're just a gross person. Because again, there is no intrinsic value in what you're doing other than fucking people over. And like, that's just pathetic. I don't know. I think it speaks to a bad person. Yeah. No, you're in the right here.

Fuck them. Yeah. It's like, cool. You shot a guy in the knee and then beat him in a race. Yeah. Wow. You're so fast, I guess. Like, it's just, it's lame.

It's so lame. Yeah. So yeah, I don't think you made the wrong choice at all. Especially if you haven't really like gone out with this. guy. If this is just new information, just fuck, just get out of there. I do get like not blocking people, though. I, there's a lot of times where I probably should just move on and, but I don't because I like, I like a good argue, especially when I know I'm right. This is from Kay Heading 14. Is he being too intense? Or am I just scared of being pursued by a guy? I, a 30 year old female, went on a date with a guy recently who's a

36 year old male that I was recently in grad school with. I had a small crush on him in my last semester, but it quickly faded away. We were texting about school stuff and he texts me, that he's liked me for almost two years but didn't ask me out because he was emotionally unavailable at the time. I wasn't sure I felt, so I accepted a date, but didn't state I had feelings. I feel a little smothered by him, and I'm not sure if it's just fearful avoidant attachment,

or if he's just being too intense for me. He texts me long paragraphs constantly throughout the day, and I feel like it's a chore to respond because it's so often and so much. He also lives an hour away, and he said he's willing to drive to see me, and even offered to drive me four hours away to an exam I had to take.

He wanted our first date to be a trip out of state to go to a concert. I changed the date to just getting dinner. The date I went on was fine, but I'm not feeling any attraction. He's genuinely nice and treating me with well, but it feels like a lot. I didn't kiss him or do anything physical with him on the date. When I got home, he texted me that he's not, when he's texting me that he's not talking to, dating or sleeping with anyone else.

I didn't really know what to say back because to me it feels way too soon. I have a pattern of only going and liking emotionally unavailable guys who don't treat me well. I tend to get scared of run the other way when a guy takes me too seriously and seems to want to be in a relationship with me. He's not my usual type, but I'm confused because last semester, I did feel a small amount of attraction to him, but now I don't at all. I want to give him a chance because he's genuinely nice,

but this feels like a lot of pressure on me. Am I overreacting? Or is he just too intense? I'm not sure how to proceed. See, yeah, I think he's being a little too intense. I think I would live to know how you know each other. Like, Ari, did you used to be friends? Because you said last semester, I knew him.

So it's like, they were in grad school. Yeah, so it's like we don't really know their relationship. If you guys knew each other for a while, I think it does take away from some of the weirdness. Like going to a concert out of state for your first date, I think that's normal enough for friends. I think it's weird for like, I just met this guy, right? Yeah. So I can't fully speak to everything without that knowledge. But like, I would love to know, did he previously text you paragraphs?

And is it only now that you're like, oh, we're romantic that you're getting weird about it? Or is he just bombarding you, which I can understand, right? It is, I think, very important that you talk about being into emotionally unavailable guys and now freaking out because of whatever. But like, it is also a little weird for me that you've gone on one date where you didn't do anything. And he's like, I'm not talking to anybody else because you know me and Dane don't agree with that, really. I mean, the also glaring thing is you said multiple times, I'm not attracted to him. So that was pinging for me, but I'm wondering, are you just not attracted to him because of this? because she did say she did feel attraction,

but now it's serious, she doesn't. Well, she said she had a small crush on him last semester, but it quickly faded away. Yeah, but it's a quickly fading because he's being nice to her. Well, I think it faded before any of this happened. Yeah. Well, if it did, it's like, yeah, anything's going to be too much if you're not attracted to this person.

Yeah, like if you don't want to put anything into this, then yeah. Like, if texting and talking to this person feels like a chore, then yeah, man. And I get it. Like, I understand what that means of being like when you're, like, oh, I know this person is into me and I feel bad not responding to this text, but like, I can't, like, I don't want to talk to this person all the time because like I don't, you know, I don't want to go further with this.

Yeah. But beyond this. And I don't want to lead you on. And I don't, you know what I mean? It's like all these conversations. And not go on the fucking date with them. Yeah. It just seems like you're, you're trying to be nice, but you're also trying to come up with an

excuse as to like, oh, this person is trading me well. So like, I want his attention. but I don't like him. So it's got to be the fact that I'm avoiding to whatever. It's like it just seems like you're jumping through a lot of hoops to get to the same conclusion of being like, I'm not attracted to this guy. I don't want to date him. Then like don't date them.

Yeah. You can meet a lot of genuinely nice people that you don't have to date. Right. Like I'm hoping that there are multiple people in your life who treat you well and are genuinely nice people. You don't have to date them just because they treat you well. Sure. I will say there's definitely a non-zero chance that she was a.

attracted to him and now that things are getting serious, she's like self-sabotage, right? Because people do that all the fucking time. Sure. So it's like, I think first you really have to examine, are you freaked out because of this? Or is there just no attraction there? Right. And I know that's an easier said than done question, but it's like if the attraction was there until it got serious, then yeah, you're probably just self-sabotaging. You're falling back into old patterns. And I think you really need to examine why you are into people that are emotionally distant. But also, I think there could be an argument being made for this person being too intense. And again, if you just don't feel attraction, it's never going to get there.

Right. Like if you're not attracted to this person, anything's going to be too much because you don't want to be in this situation. Yeah. And I mean, look, look, I believe very strongly in the like, if it's not a fuck yes, it's a no. And your response was, I wasn't sure how I felt. So I accepted the date, but I didn't say I had feelings. Yeah. That sucks.

Yeah. Imagine that's, hey, mom, dad. How did you guys meet? Well, I don't know. I just wasn't really feeling it, but I guess I said yes. Yeah, that's not. It's not good. It's not the way to start anything.

If that's how you feel, then be like, hey, I don't really know if I want to go on a day with you. Like, let's chat a little more or something, right? Like, be like, I don't know if that's really what I want to do. Get to know them a little bit more. And then if you realize like, oh, yeah, no, there is no fucking chemistry here. There's no spark. Sorry, I'm not interested.

Or if after a little bit of time, you get to like know each other, you get a little vibey, you're like, you know what? let's go for that drink. Cool. Yeah. If you're not like, this. This sucks. I guess I'll go on this day.

Like what? Yeah. If you're not as this person, don't date them, right? I assume you're trying to step away from your pattern of only emotionally distant people. But it's like you still have to do that with someone you like.

Right. Yeah. It seems like you're almost doing the opposite of what you're afraid that you're doing. Like you're like, oh, am I pushing them? Am I not attracted to him? Because I'm like, I'm being avoidant,

blah, it's like, no, it sounds like you're trying to convince yourself. to go on a date with this guy because he's nice to you for once, despite the fact that you're not into him. And it's like, that's just as bad as pushing someone away who's bad for you than it is to date someone you're not interested in just because you think they're good for you.

Yeah. So I would say- It's disrespectful to him. It's disrespectful to you. Like, it sucks. If you're not interested in this person, call things off. Don't lead them on and go try to find somebody you do like. If the next person you like is the same pattern of like shitty person to you who's

emotionally avoidant therapy, right? If this is a pattern you can't break and everybody nice you don't like and everybody you like sucks. There be. Right. I'd also like take a second to investigate and really think about like, oh, what was my crush on him about? Yeah. And why did it stop? 100%.

It was like, oh, I saw him across the room and he's kind of cute. But then I overheard him talking and he was really boring or whatever. He's really into Roblox. Yeah. Like what was it that like kind of petered down this crush? Was it your third date? He showed up with a bowling ball? Because I get it.

Yeah, no, 100%. So examine it. And if you can't find an answer, therapy time. This is by far association, 7012. He took my tampon out with his teeth. I don't know if I'll see him again. Talking to this guy on Tinder for like a week or two. He invited me over last night for dinner.

Everything was going well. He was a very normal, sweet guy. We got making out. We were both really into it. I was on my period, though. And so I thought that would be a turnoff since we just met. He said, I could care less and took my underwear off. Then using his teeth, took my tampon out.

He stood up and grabbed a tissue and told me to put in the garbage bathroom. I was so in shock, I just nodded and did what he said. I was a little tipsy, so I was just going to go with it at that point. I was horny, but super grossed out too. I said, I'm going to flush it and he said, no, you can't flush tissue. I didn't really think much of it at the time. Today, I'm wondering if he had a kink for period blood and he wanted to keep it because what the hell? I don't know that's the conclusion I would come to, because he is right. He can't. That's it. That's it. Tissue. Can't flush a tampon? What's he doing? I think, oh yeah, I guess you can't, yeah, it's the, yeah. I, yeah. I mean, I don't know. I

Look, I think there's other things going on here. Well, the funny thing is, it's like, do I think he has a king for period of blood? He took your tampon out with his teeth, girl. Yeah. And wants to have sex with you while you're on your period.

Like, yeah, at the very least. One of those is far, far more extreme than the other. Yeah. At the very least, the guy is not squeamish around blood. That I can say. He doesn't care. Yeah.

No, no, I'm sorry. Not caring is having sex with someone on their period. Being into it is taking their tampon out with your fucking teeth. that's that's wild behavior yeah yeah and i mean i think it's weird that what they're hung up on is him try to save her plumbing no puns intended yeah uh i i don't know what to tell you i i think if this is a turnoff for you i get it i understand if you're not into it sure if you need to like set a boundary and be like hey maybe maybe let me do the removal of my feminine hygiene products

and you don't use your mouth yeah i would prefer that for me that's also fine but i think like i don't know. I think trying to jump to conclusions as to like what people's kinks are or what nefarious purpose he might have for you not wanting to flush a tampon and tissues down the toilet. I think that's a fool's errand. I think that's a dumb game to play. Yeah, 100%. Also, again, that part is the most reasonable because you shouldn't be flushing it. And it's like he didn't say, can't flush it. Put it in my coat pocket there. He said put it in the bathroom toilet like bin. So yeah, bathroom toilet bin. Bathroom toilet bin. I knew what you meant. That's all the matters. I just kind of got lost in it. So yeah, If Dane's completely right, set some boundaries if you're uncomfortable with something.

I do think it is kind of a crazy move to do without consent or discussion. But it's, it's certainly a move. It's certainly a swing. I don't really like it. No. You wouldn't catch me doing the old toothy removal. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not into that one one bit.

But good for him for not being disgusted by the natural body. Yeah, he's beating a lot of the man, sadly. I feel like if more dudes are willing to take tampons out with their teeth. that they would be in a better world. It's true. That's true. And if more women stopped flushing their tampons down the toilet, would be in a better world too.

Yeah. Yeah. Set boundaries if you're uncomfortable with stuff, don't jump to conclusions. You don't need to. That is going to do it for us this week, friends. Unless you have a, we're a little early,

unless you have another question you want to do. Nah. I don't. But I got two bad sex writings. Oh, well, there you go. It all ends out in the end. Thanks for hanging out with us. We appreciate you.

If you want to support the show, head on over to patreon. com slash F buddies. I don't know why I got Southern there for a second, but Patreon. Y'all, when I'm shilling, I'm, yeah,

Dane's just like his, fuck, what's like, like an old prospect or trying to sell you some wares. Yeah, I don't know, I don't know what happened. It keeps us from going poor.

It keeps it going crazy. Keeps the show going. So if you're able to, please do, you know, please support us in any other way you can. Like, find us on YouTube,

find us on Instagram, like a video, share a video, comment on a video, give us a rating on whatever podcast or you, use and maybe check out some of the other Sonar shows as well. We got a whole bunch of them on there. Really happy to be part of the network.

So shout out to Sonar and shout out to you for being along for this wild ride. This is a Tinder profile. And thank you, Josh Eagle and Harvesties for the song paper stars. I was wondering if you want to help me and my girlfriend out by donating your sperm so we can have a baby. We are doing AI at home insemination. We have the jar and stuff. Also, I want to let you know that you will not be in the baby life and you don't spend nothing on the child.

Yeah, man. the last thing I'm doing is giving my semen to anyone off of Tinder. I mean, I guess it's not true. I guess I've given a lot of people my semen off of Tinder, but not in this regard. Not into a jar. It's certainly not going into a jar. There are specific places I will be depositing said semen and a jar is not one of them. Yeah.

And certainly not to make a baby. Yeah. If you are considering doing this, there are channels for that. and those channels should be the ones you go down after extreme research and vetting and vetting not just like yeah I'm a jizz in this jar for this stranger because who's to say that you won't be paying I don't know that you can pull out this bio is a legal document later on me like she did say I'm not in baby life and I don't spend nothing on the child and then I'm going to sign off with we got a message the other day we got a message on Instagram and I just I saw this and

I didn't open it specifically because you knew so that I was just like I I don't want to ruin it for Nile. Yeah. So I posted our last episode and insert GIF of Toby McGuire dancing here because Instagram was being weird and wouldn't let me put gifts. And then I get a message and they say, lucky those who can have dates and sex. Damn. If you're having dates and sex, just one of the lucky ones. Why don't you think about that?

I know we are the lucky ones here. Having dates and sex. Who is that? Is that Biff naked? Who fucking knows. I don't even know who that is. Canadian Queen, I believe. 90% sure she's Canadian. I'm 90% sure that's a Biff Naked song. Let's go. My name's Day Miller.

And I'm Nal Spain and we love you. And I'm what? We love you. We love you. And I'm Biff Naked. Bye.